Chapter 10
***FLASHBACK***
A young unicorn is in her bedroom in Fillydelphia. Her name is Diamond Heart, and she has a variety of interests. Let's find out about them, shall we?
One thing we should clear up right away is that, among her many interests, there is a distinct absence of photography. Gog does she hate photography. She wants absolutely nothing to do with photography. Let's just stop talking about photography, and really anything to do with cameras. This was only brought up in the first place to explain that she really doesn't want any further discussion on this topic. Unfortunately, everypony she ever meets always thinks that she has some kind of special talent involving cameras. Whenever somepony tries to talk to her about cameras, she has to take them to one side and explain, very clearly, that the next time they do so will be their doom. Also, it's very difficult to work the word "sylph" into a sentence.
The reason that everypony thinks she is good with photography is because her cutie mark happens to be a camera, if only because her special talent is rather difficult to render as a tangible object. Diamond has a photographic memory, an ability which is fantastically useful exactly half of the time. Her memory is so amazing, you don't even know. Not only can she remember all seventeen years of her life, but also the preceding seventeen years from before that! Well, that's not entirely true. Of the seventeen years of her current life, she can only remember more or less exactly half of them, and the seventeen of her past life is little more than vague impressions. Not that her friends believe her, of course. They all just think that she's faking her memory, to hide the fact that her special talent is really about cameras and OH LOOK THIS JUST STOPPED BEING THE TOPIC SO LET'S MOVE ON.
But she's not just some two-bit character who revolves entirely around remembering stuff and disliking cameras. She has a much deeper and thought through personality than that, involving many different interests.
She... um. Well, she likes meeting new ponies. Just recently, in fact, she met a very nice (and very drunk) pegasus, who has since introduced her to all of their online friends. On a related note, Diamond recalls that that particular group of friends was planning to play a game tomorrow, which she has asked to be a part of. The guy, who's setting up the game, should be getting back to her any time now, now that she thinks about it. This is going to be fun!
She also likes... uh... reading? Yeah, reading! She has just so books, even though she can't remember reading half of them. And with her memory, that means she hasn't! But seriously, she can't even remember buying half of these books. 'Grimoire for summoning the zoologically dubious'?!? Who even WRITES this stuff? Another of Diamond's interests is not being interested in religion, or any kind of supernatural mumbo jumbo, so it strikes her as very odd that she would ever obtain such a book. Honestly, who had time for demons and cults and whatnot in this day and age? This was the future, for crying out loud! Honestly, it was enough to drive a pony to writing a blog or something.
That said, she does remember reading this book, about 23 years ago, 6 years before she was born (or 6 BD, as she likes to say). In most of her memories from before her birth, she recalls having a very different set of interests. Almost completely inverted, in fact. But she still doesn't remember actually buying this book at any point. It must have happened during one of those 'dark patches' where she can't remember anything.
As for her other interests, she... uh...
To be honest, she's not really sure why she doesn't have more interests. It seems like she only ever has enough time for the few interests she does have! The rest of the time she's either sleeping, or...
Well, when she's not really there. Oh look, here's that guy who was meant to be getting back to her about that game.
[fractalAbomination began pestering suspiciousSerpent (SS)]
FA: hello
SS: oh, hello. Comet, right?
FA: yeah. and this is diamond?
SS: yes!
FA: ok, cool. well i don't know how much dawn's told you about this game in between being either drunk and useless or sober and useless...
FA: but basically we each have a sever and a client program
FA: and our group forms a ring of server/client connections, until we're all connected
FA: that's pretty much all i know about it
SS: uh, ok. speaking of Summer, is she playing?
FA: maybe. idk, she said she doesn't want to
FA: but we both know that what she says and what she does
FA: are completely irrespective of each other. she might decide not to play, to spite me
FA: she might decide to play, to spite me
FA: she might decide to get drunk out of her skull and jump off a cliff, to spite me
FA: all i can say for sure is that whatever she does, it will be done in the way which causes me the most hassle possible
SS: heheheheh, am I detecting some resentment there?
FA: nah, think of it as a respectful grudge
SS: you mean a grudging respect.
FA: no. no i don't
FA: anyway, here's the files and stuff
[fractalAbomination sent suspiciousSerpent (SS) the file "sburbinstall.zip"]
SS: OK, thanks.
FA: i'm just working out the player order atm, and i'm putting you in between acapella and dawn
FA: because obviously you know dawn, and i believe you know acapella quite well?
SS: well, I'd say so. we get along, anyway.
FA: good enough for me. we're starting up tomorrow, and once it gets to you you'll be her server, and then dawn can connect to you.
SS: OK.
FA: this is of course assuming that she plays
Wait, what was going on?
SS: What
FA: hm?
SS: Oh its you
SS: I vaguely remember you from somewhere
SS: Werent you dawns friend or something
FA: uh... yes?
SS: Oh hold on im on the wrong account again
SS: This always happens just wait a moment
FA: what?
[suspiciousSerpent (SS) ceased being pestered by fractalAbomination]
[shiningSeraphim (ss) began pestering fractalAbomination]
ss: Ok thats better
ss: So youre summers friend
FA: oh. that's right, i remember her telling me about you
FA: in between the swearing
ss: What did she say
FA: just that... uh...
FA: i need to 'remind' you about what we're talking about now and then
ss: Hey my memory isnt that bad
ss: I just forget silly little things like what day it is and stuff
FA: uh... ok...
FA: anyway, i need to go and feed lizards. :c
ss: Hmph
ss: None of you lot ever want to talk to me
ss: Not even summer usually
ss: But at least you came up with an excuse
FA: no, i really have lizards. that need feeding. and i hate them
FA: look, we'll talk later, ok?
ss: Fine
[fractalAbomination ceased being pestered by shiningSeraphim (ss)]
Well, that was annoying. Anyway, where was she? Oh, right, introductions.
Her name is Silver Edge, and she is a unicorn living in Fillydelphia. She has a variety of interests.
Among these interests is her fascination with the dark arts. Summoning circles, fenestrated planes, and all manner of eldritch abominations. They are just... SO COOL. Not that she has ever attempted any of the dark rituals with which she is so enthralled. That would be highly irresponsible! Plus she can't find the right incense.
A healthy interest in the writhing horrorterrors of the seventh doomwrecked plane also goes hand in hand with staying inside all the time. Silver makes a habit of abjuring social interaction, at least in real life, as well as most forms of physical exercise. Of course, over time she has come to regret her self-imposed handicap, and now the only way she can really meet new ponies is online.
She has a camera cutie mark, because she is the best with cameras. She once had cameras littering her house, but they were all mysteriously set on fire, so she has taken to storing them in a locked chest until she needs them. She occasionally supplies images to other ponies online as a sort of job, which is the only reason she has for venturing from her home, although she tries to keep her excursions to a minimum. Most of the work is editing the pictures on her computer anyway.
Speaking of her computer, she often finds she is logged onto the wrong account. She has attempted to make friends with the ponies who are friends with this account, with varying degrees of success. All she really knows is that they always seem on edge when talking to her, for some reason, so she ignores them for the most part. They seem to think that she has a good memory, which is just silly. Her memory is downright terrible. She can literally remember nothing, not even where she is, or how she got there, or why she's logged onto the wrong account. Her life is filled with 'dark patches' that obscure more or less exactly half of her life. And she can't always remember the half which isn't obscured.
Her room is evidence to this. Obviously there are all of her awesome books about sorcery and such, but what about this one? 'Pride and Prejudice'?!? Who even WRITES this stuff? It's all just a load of prissy nonsense. Who actually gives a damn. Not THIS unicorn, that's for sure. This just makes her ownership of this book all the more perplexing. Just what was she thinking when she bought this?
Over time, Silver has come to realise that her body is not entirely hers. For half of her life, she becomes some other pony, this "suspiciousSerpent", who reads Pride and Prejudice and makes friends and such. She sometimes wonders about this other pony. Does the mystery pony know about Silver? Do they wonder about why their pathetic excuse for reading material has been tainted by the awesomeness of eldritch tomes? Are they the ones with the good memory? Was it they who destroyed her cameras? Whatever the deal with this other pony is, it was a futile effort to hope that they would ever stop being a problem. Just another thing she had to deal with. And seriously, "sylph". That word is just so impossible to cleverly hide within a paragraph. Not like "thief" or "page". Just sort of blares out at you, doesn't it? 'Hello, I'm a subtle hint! Look at me!' and so on.
***NOT A FLASHBACK***
HC: So yeah, I think you'll probably just have to talk to Summer yourself.
FA: blarg. i figured it would come to this, but still
FA: how about diamond, then? is she going to play?
HC: She'll play, once she... uh, gets back.
HC: But to be honest I don't know if she's in any state to be playing.
FA: you are just being so helpful today
FA: look, it's your call since it's you who needs to get into the game
FA: either diamond or ember, whichever you want to trust
FA: one is mentally unstable, and one is a complete fucking idiot
FA: i, meanwhile, am going to go reason with dawn
HC: Urgh, FINE.
[fractalAbomination ceased being pestered by homelessChicken]
Closing his laptop, Comet once again returned to the sprawling mess of pages and stone slabs that he had laid out in front of him. After discovering that he should have been paying attention to the history of his planet the whole time he had been blindly charging on ahead, the unicorn had been forced to spend the last hour deciphering this confounded turtle language. But as mind numbingly boring as this was, at least he was putting off the increasingly vital conversation with a certain pegasus.
The problem, he reflected, was that he didn't know if his translation was wrong or if the turtles were just very stupid. He didn't hold much stock in his own abilities when it came to this sort of thing, but then again the turtles were incredibly stupid. But whatever. Briefly debating whether or not it was worth the trouble to sigh, he decided it wasn't and picked up the next stone slab. If his current system was correct, this one insisted that the moon was an oyster, with all of the words containing at least three spelling errors (including the 'an'). Nonsense. In the first case, LOCAR didn't even have a moon.
All in all, Comet had decided, this was a stupid game. Why would anyone ever want to spend hours and hours translating the ramblings of some clearly insane turtles? And all because of some random mythological role the game had assigned to him for no reason other than to be really annoying. He was basically the caretaker of time, he had surmised. Who wanted to be a caretaker? Nopony is who. What he needed was a distraction. Maybe talking to Summer wouldn't be too bad? Maybe?
While Comet deals with the Summer thing, we will go and see something completely different.
***
It hurt to move his head, so Mild had come to accept his newfound outlook on life from his current position lying on his back against a cold slab of rock. Even if he could move, he wouldn't make it far before he died from the blood loss. So instead he lay on the ground and reflected on the moments leading up to his current predicament, which was awfully convenient for any casual observers who had only recently begun following his actions.
Mild had begun travelling across the surface of his planet, the Land of Steam and Cogs. The entire planet was one huge city, covered in strange machinery which somehow worked perfectly even though it was all powered by an esoteric mixture of steam engines and clockwork. He thought it was awesome. And arguably, he was right.
Whether his current situation was caused by some seriously unfair rolls of the game's random number generator, or whether there were shenanigans of some kind involved, Mild didn't know. All he knew was that he had been attacked from behind by something powerful (or lucky) enough to knock his health bar clean out of its vitality gel casing. So he had collapsed onto the ground, where he was currently bleeding to death. This was not awesome. But arguably, what happened next was. Unfortunately for Mild, he wasn't there for the majority of it, as his last few seconds of life faded away, and the world around him melted away into nothing.
The creature which was responsible for Mild's death watched this, and as he died it took the cue to begin dragging the pony's corpse along the ground behind it. There was a long distance to travel. As it walked, the crowds of crocodiles which were beginning to form quickly stepped out of its way. Even if it had not just killed the hero of their planet, even if it was not clearly a powerful enemy, and even if it was not extremely ugly, they would have stepped aside out of respect if not out of fear.
It didn't pay to obstruct the Gods.
***
A young filly stands in her bedroom. Her location? New Ponyville. Her interests? Varied. Her blood alcohol content? So much that it's basically insane. But what is her name?
Her name is Summer Dawn, and she is a pegasus. As mentioned, she has a range of interests. Chief among these are the victims of her flushed leanings, of which there are many. A lot of her online friends qualify as such, but they generally regard her advances as very persistent ironic humour. On a potentially related note, she is infamous among her friends for drinking, a lot, all of the time.
When she's not entertaining either of those two passions, on the other hoof, Summer likes to mess around with building robots. Her room is littered with cables and blueprints, even though she only keeps them around to give the impression that she's even better than she really is. To be honest, mostly she just likes to play around with circuit boards. Technology is the future, after all. The days when computers were essentially complex enchantments are over. Now computers are for everypony, not just unicorns. Unicorns think they are just so great, but really they're not.
Another thing that unicorns think they are so great at is shooting. Most ponies agree, seeing as precise aiming is more suited to a magic user. But Summer has seen the light! She prides herself on being a natural marksmare, a talent that she never ceases to threaten her friends with. And if any of those foolish ponies told her that shooting was for unicorns, they would find themselves heir apparent to a world of pain after she snipes their wealthy pain uncle from 1600 metres. So there.
Summer has been invited to play a game with some of her friends, and is currently debating the best course of action. Of course she is going to play the game, because games are fun and she has nothing better to do with her life. But there wasn't any fun in just agreeing to play the game. That would be too easy. Comet was going to regret making all of those hurtful comments about her lifestyle choices.
Speak of the devilfucking dickens, here he was.
[fractalAbomination began pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]
FA: ok so i'm really dreading this conversation
FA: and i'd just like to say that if there's any chance that we can cut the bs and talk to each other like rational ponies
FA: then that would just make my fucking day, it really would
MN: We both know that there's no chance of that happening
MN: Especially seeing as you just told me you'd like me to be nice
FA: oh wow, what a fucking surprise
FA: the huge bitch is on top form today
MN: Petty insults will get you nowhere
FA: fine
FA: first things first, are you actually even playing this game with us
MN: Probably not. It seems boring from what I can tell
FA: right, glad to have you on board
FA: well not really, but w/e, the point is you're playing and we both fucking know it
MN: Urgh, what do you want?
FA: i need you to go bitch at emmy until he agrees to play
MN: And why would I do that?
MN: I don't really like talking to him all that much
FA: i'm going to rethink my plan now, because i highly value and respect your position on the matter
MN: That's awfully considerate of you
FA: really? fuck, i was aiming for condescending
FA: in that case screw you, you're talking to him
MN: I still don't see what's in it for me
FA: a guilt free conscience
FA: or at least, guilt free on that count. the rest of the shit you do is still on there, but that's not my problem
MN: I hope you realise that I'm actually not going to talk to him
FA: i hope you realise that i actually don't give a fuck
FA: we're done here
[fractalAbomination ceased pestering mechanicalNoisemaker]
Well, that was that taken care of. It was a shame he had called her bluff on not playing the game, Summer reflected, but over the years he had grown wise to her mind games. Making a mental note to talk to Ember later, which she more or less immediately forgot, Summer decided it was time to return to her most recent project. It was a bit of a leap from her normal domain of shooting and robots, but it was nothing if not intriguing.
A while ago, Summer received a strange program from somepony claiming to be her future self. She, being drunk out of her skull at the time, decided to run it, and was pleasantly surprised to find it wasn't a virus. On the contrary, her future self was indeed responsible, and revealed to Summer that the program was a stripped down version of an application that it was Summer's job to create from scratch. This was apparently important for continuity reasons.
Essentially, the idea was to expand the functionality of the chat program that all of her friends used, so that it was capable of managing 'memos' that allowed multiple users to communicate with each other at once. And, as she had discovered, from any point in the timeline. It was weird, highly convoluted, and only marginally useful, and yet it was apparently incredibly important. And so Summer had been attempting to replicate the effect, despite her less than thorough understanding of programming languages. She hadn't gotten anywhere.
Navigating to the simplified file, Summer once again decided to check up on her future self. Maybe she (and the program, for that matter) would be in a cooperative mood.
[CURRENT mechanicalNoisemaker RIGHT NOW created a new memo THISISSTUPID on board HELLOPASTME]
CMN: Hey again
[FUTURE mechanicalNoisemaker began responding to memo THISISSTUPID]
FMN: Oh hi
FMN: You're stuck again?
CMN: Sooorry
FMN: Don't worry about it
FMN: The interface was a bitch to set up
FMN: I still dont get those gog damn loops
CMN: I know
CMN: What are they even trying to achieve
CMN: It makes fuck all sense
FMN: Yeah well life's like that
CMN: Anyway how do I do this
FMN: You'll figure it out
FMN: By which I mean you'll get Comet to do it
CMN: What?
CMN: But he hates me
CMN: And even if he did want to do it
CMN: Fuck him I wanted to do this by myself
FMN: Yeah well let's face it we can't code to save our lives
FMN: You'll probably still mess around with it for a few more hours though
FMN: To no avail
CMN: >:/
[FUTURE fractalAbomination began responding to memo THISISSTUPID]
FFA: you said it, memo, you said it. this is, indeed, very stupid
CMN: Hey fuck off
CMN: This is between myself and I
FFA: yeah, and me, as of right now
FFA: just thought i'd make sure you're passing this project onto me as the alpha timeline dictates
CMN: Nope
FFA: heh, but of course you're going to do it all yourself, aren't you?
FFA: i feel sorry for you, so here's a clue:
[FUTURE fractalAbomination sent CURRENT mechanicalNoisemaker the file "protip.~ATH"]
CMN: I have most of it done already fuckass
FFA: no, you have the edited version that i authorised future you to give you, just so that we could get it into your thick skull that it's me who makes the code
FFA: you know jack shit about ~ATH, and you know it
FMN: OK I have to agree with myself on this one
FMN: Get the fuck out of my memo
FFA: add more people to the memo? as you command
FMN: Oh gog
[FUTURE eclecticSage began responding to memo THISISSTUPID]
FES: what am i DOING here?
FFA: think of it as a social experiment
FES: oh, well THAT'S cool
FES: ^^
FMN: Hey past me
FMN: You might want to leave now
FMN: Seriously
CMN: Yeah I think I will
FFA: don't forget to hand the files over to me
CMN: Fuck that
[CURRENT mechanicalNoisemaker stopped responding to memo THISISSTUPID]
Well, apparently Comet remained just as irritating in the future. That was reassuring. Briefly, Summer contemplated just sending his current self the files, but decided that it was worth giving it one more go, temporal inevitability be damned. She half-heartedly checked the file he had sent her.
protip.~ATH
import author Summer;
import entity Comet;
~ATH(Summer) {
Comet.CRYDEEPLY();
} EXECUTE (Comet.CELEBRATE());
THIS.DIE();
// By the way, this doesn't do anything. I just made this to fuck with you.
Letting out a groan of desperation, Summer planted her head firmly into her desk. This was going to be a long day.
***
Three players had entered the session so far, and therefore three prototypings had been applied. The Battlefield, the planet found within the heart of Skaia, had grown a dimension of complexity with each prototyping. First it had expanded to a fully sized chess board, before turning into a large chess cube that allowed the armies to wage war on six different fronts simultaneously. Its current form, that it had taken after Mild had entered the Medium, was that of a more traditional planet - a large sphere, now that the six different battlefields had been smoothed together into one large planet on which the armies now fought. Additionally, with each prototyping the range of units each army possessed increased, such that the current armies were comprised of battletanks and warships, fighting alongside the more usual components of a game of chess. Although both sides were taking heavy casualties, the war was just getting started. There was a long way to go, and plenty of stakes to be raised, which gave the battles an almost upbeat feeling to them despite the death count. Sburb's music seemed to add to this, inspiring as it was.
It was in the middle of this conflict that Mild Darkness now found himself, newly transported to the Battlefield in an inferno of light and magic. Many of the surrounding soldiers halted, pausing to take in the spectacular sight of a God ascending. But perhaps it would be a good idea to stop for a moment and clarify just what it means to become a God.
As may or may not be clear, all players of Sburb have a title, of the form the Class of Aspect. Their aspect is the element over which they have power, and their class is the manner in which this power manifests. This will probably be expanded on later.
All players of Sburb receive experience for completing quests, killing enemies, and many other impressive feats. As you may have gathered, by accumulating experience they are able to climb the rungs of their echeladder, which allows them to enjoy increased abilities and more boondollars, and also grants them an ever growing understanding of their aspect. But this is not a ladder to nowhere - the echeladder does have a top, many hundreds (or sometimes, thousands) of rungs high, at which point the player will be unable to gain any further strength by traditional means. Having reached the greatest height any mortal can achieve, they will find themselves fairly capable users of their aspect. There are, however, rungs above and beyond the echeladder. These can only be achieved by ascending to God Tier, after which point the player can continue to climb.
The process of ascension is simple: a player must die while on their quest bed. A quest bed is a special location on a player's planet which is uniquely tied to that player's aspect. If the player is killed while sleeping on their quest bed, or is placed upon the bed a short time after death, they will begin to ascend. At this point, the player's dream self and waking self will both be resurrected and combine, creating a fully realised God. What this means will depend on the player's title, but in all cases the player will find themselves capable of almost complete control over their aspect, with their class affecting the exact nature in which this takes place (potentially limiting their powers, or strengthening them). Regardless of the details, a God Tier player is incredibly powerful. Now, back to Mild.
The usual rush of power which can so often overwhelm new God Tier players, especially those who have not yet climbed to the top of their echeladder, were multiplied by the earth pony's sudden acquisition of wings, and a horn. However, besides the shock of finding himself transformed into a pony of royal stature (not to mention one with godly powers), Mild found that the wings and horn felt as if he had possessed them all his life. His mind was already filled with the knowledge of how to perform magic, and his muscles recalled the process of flight as they shot him upwards into the sky. He did not fail to take note of the bright green hood and coat which he was now wearing, nor of the assembled soldiers who were quietly gathered around the area where he had risen. Unfortunately for them, his audience soon became his first unwitting victims, as he decided to exercise his newfound power. Forcing his way into the minds of the soldiers around him, he found their free will buried deep within them.
And stole it.
***
[shiningSeraphim (ss) ceased pestering malignantRecursion]
After finishing a conversation with a friend of hers, who is entirely unrelated to this story in every single way, Silver's thoughts once again turned to Acapella. Though she found herself in the middle of talking to that pony more often than the others of that particular group, and as such had spoken with her most, Acapella seemed least tolerant of Silver's presence. Silver barely had any chance to get a word in edge ways before being cut off. Presumably, after having that reaction the first few times that "suspiciousSerpent" had changed to Silver, Acapella had come to the conclusion that any prolonged conversation would just be really awkward. And apparently she needed Silver, or at least her other self, to play this game with her. Well, screw her, and screw all of those ignorant ponies. If they didn't want to talk to her, then she didn't want to play with them.
Then Silver occupied her time with some fenestrated planes, carrying out some kind of process that would take entirely too much research and thought to describe accurately. So instead of describing it, let's go check up on Diamond.
Diamond was, at that point, asleep. She didn't know that, but that was because dream selves know very little about anything. They're kind of dumb like that. What she did know was that she was once again on the golden city where she spent the many dark patches of her life. She was also once again wearing the familiar golden dress, and was once again surrounded by the crowds of Prospitans who stepped respectfully aside as Diamond made her way down the street of gold. She could have flown, but completely forgot this.
"Did you hear?" The hushed voice came from a group of Prospitans huddled over in a corner, to the side of Diamond. She stopped and walked towards them, completely forgetting that subtlety is important when trying to eavesdrop. They continued regardless. "The Thief has ascended. That's one up over those Dersite slugs!" There were varied mumbles of agreement, before one of the group spoke up.
"I'm confused. Are the heroes of Derse on our side?" It seemed a fair question, but the older, wiser Prospitan sighed the weary sigh of one who had explained this same point many times.
"Let me lay this out for you. Four heroes of Prospit, four heroes of Derse. As you said, the Derse heroes are on our side. They're just one of the large handicaps Derse is inflicted with, because they're in a prime position to cause some serious damage. But beyond our pointless war, there are other facets of this to consider. The interactions between the heroes is a whole different battle, and in that sense the Thief could be seen as-" He stopped in his exposition as he noticed Diamond standing next to them, nodding happily. "You know what? I think I've said enough. If not too much entirely." He nodded, and the group dispersed around the silly dream pony. The requirement for all game delivered exposition to be frustratingly fleeting takes many forms, and reluctant informants is one of those forms.
Then Silver's dream self stopped being Diamond in time for Diamond's dream self to take over as Diamond while Silver became Silver's dream self.
***
As the monstrosity which had killed him flew off into the depths of the Medium, Mild briefly meditated on their conversation. On the one hand, he did owe that creature his newfound powers. And besides, the terms of his deal had been awfully persuasive. On the other hand, he felt bad about betraying his friends.
Actually wait, what was he talking about. None of his friends really liked him, anyway. Fuck them, he wanted infinite power.
[psychoticDeceiver began pestering fractalAbomination]
PD: Somethings come up.
PD: You want to know about this.
FA: do i? do i really?
PD: Ive gotten past my echeladder.
PD: I have all the levels. All of them.
FA: wait what?
PD: It turns out that theres a way to get beyond the echeladder.
PD: I have reached god tier.
PD: Im basically the best player at this game ever.
FA: :C
FA: wait, so how did you do this?
PD: I got killed.
FA: ... you're right, you're amazing at this game
PD: Quiet. I got killed, but I died on my quest bed.
PD: Which is a thing we all have on our planets, apparently.
FA: right
PD: And because of that, I ascended to god tier.
FA: oh, ok. wow. so what does that mean?
PD: It means I have all of the stats, and Im now a complete master of my aspect.
FA: which is what again?
PD: The thief of mind.
FA: oh, right. like how i'm meant to be the page of time, yeah?
PD: I guess. And anyway, that's not all. I now have wings, and a horn.
FA: wait, seriously? you're a winged unicorn now?
PD: ... a what?
FA: you know, a winged unicorn. like the princesses
PD: Oh, is that what you call them?
FA: idk, does it matter?
PD: Probably not. Anyway, because Im now a lot more powerful than any of us should be at this point in the game, I have an idea.
FA: i'm listening
He then proceeded to tell him his plan in great detail.
***
With great difficulty, Diamond had finally managed to extract herself from the tangled web of what looked like windows, and answered Acapella's urgent call for help while trying to shake from her mind the images of what was beyond the fenestrated walls.
[homelessChicken began pestering suspiciousSerpent (SS)]
HC: HELP!
HC: I SERIOUSLY NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW! PLEASE! <:S
HC: ... Diamond?
SS: OK, I'm here.
HC: FINALLY! Oh gog it's so great to see you!
SS: calm down, and tell me what I'm meant to be doing.
HC: Right, you need to connect to me with your server file, OK?
SS: got it. what's this game even about?
HC: I have NO IDEA, but it's really serious and I'm going to die if you don't hurry.
SS: o_O
SS: just hold on a little longer!
HC: I can't really do anything else, can I?
SS: heh, guess not.
HC: <:/
SS: OK, let's do this.
***SEVERAL HOURS IN THE FUTURE (BUT NOT MANY)***
Having entered her first world gate, Destiny found herself transported from her snowy world to Mild's planet, the Land of Steam and Cogs. It looked pretty cool though, she supposed, even if the steam technology was incredibly silly. How did it even work? Although she didn't approve of her newly alchemised weapon (a sword that was somehow based off of steam technology - what was the point?!?), she couldn't deny its baffling effectiveness. And that had been very useful in aiding her most recent endeavours.
For the past few hours, she had been entertaining herself by competing in LOSAC's highly popular gladiatorial games. It provided a convenient source of both experience and grist, not to mention boondollars. She had earned her group almost three booncases in the time she had spent fighting, and her increasing rungs were more than enough to offset her depleting energy.
[psychoticDeceiver began pestering desertedDestiny]
PD: Having fun?
DD: I guess. It's a bit boring, to be honest, but I'm fine.
PD: You remember I said I got to god tier?
DD: Vaguely, even though I don't know what it means.
PD: It means I have awesome mind powers as well as wings and a horn.
DD: So you're a horned pegasus, then?
PD: ... a what?
DD: You know, a horned pegasus. Like the princesses.
PD: Oh, is that what you call them? Everypony seems to call them something like that.
DD: Why, what do you call them?
PD: Id always thought of them as winged-and-horned earth ponies.
DD: That's just stupid!
PD: Meh. This isnt the point.
PD: The point is that I have power, and so were planning to press the advantage by going to Derse and killing the black queen before she gets to full power.
DD: Cunning.
PD: I like to think so. But Comets got something important to take care of, apparently.
PD: And if we wait too long then itll defeat the point.
PD: So you me and Acapella are heading off to Derse on this Dersite warship that I have... 'acquired'.
DD: OK, sounds cool.
PD: Im going to go and pick up Acapella first because her planets closer, then Ill come and pick you up off my world.
DD: Kk.
[psychoticDeceiver ceased pestering desertedDestiny]
***
Jabbing her cane straight into the nearest Marble Ogre, Acapella once again repeated the process she had steadily been perfecting. Twisting her cane while keeping it inside the underling, and using her magic to make her next actions possible, the unicorn bent down as she lifted the cane above her head, impossibly swinging the ogre up through the air before bringing it down onto the ground. The ground on the Land of Tea and Cake (and Death, as she had taken to adding) was not particularly well suited for use as a weapon, being made of cake and everything, but the force was still great enough to transform the ogre into several large chunks of marble grist.
[mechanicalNoisemaker began pestering homelessChicken]
MN: Hello again my dear
HC: Oh hi! <:)
MN: I will keep this short and to the point
MN: Because this is serious
HC: Absolutely. Everything you say is deadly serious, right?
MN: I know you don't believe me but yes. Yes it is. Anyway
MN: I just thought I'd let you know that Diamond is having one of her episodes again
HC: Yeah, I know...
MN: Which means that I can't get her into the game until she comes back
HC: Oh. OH!
MN: Yeah
HC: <:S
HC: I'm... I'm sure she'll come around. Just give her time!
MN: Well she'd better come around sooner rather than later
MN: Otherwise
MN: We both know what will happen
HC: Yeah...
The noise of somepony calling her name made her look up from her laptop, and turning around she could see an approaching purple warship with a grey winged unicorn waving at her. That was faster than she'd expected.
HC: Oh, gog damn, here's Mild already. I've got to go, so I'll talk to you later, OK?
MN: Yeah sure
HC: Bye!
MN: Bye
[homelessChicken ceased being pestered by mechanicalNoisemaker]
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The shit has officially hit the whirling device.
In more exciting news, we have met the most awesome, most radical, most cool OC pony in this fic. The bad news is that her friend's life is in danger. She is also a winged pegasus.
Also, this story currently has a rating of 4 yays.
"gray winged pegasus"
...winged pegasus? What an oxymoron!
312989 Thanks for that. ^^
Should've read this yesterday, but I had important bullshit that needed taking care of. Cutting BADLY into my web time. And I'm STILL doing it, so just for this week, I have to skip being analytical. Still awesome, though!
Alright. I just got caught up on this, and I figured it was worth commenting. I like the story, and I've realized it has pros and cons. I'll start with the cons, since that way you might want to keep reading until you get to the pros.
Cons: I haven't been able to figure out if your story is targeted toward people who have read Homestuck, or people who haven't. This is most evident in the way you handle information dumps. You explain concepts such as God Tier or Dream Selves in a couple of paragraphs, paragraphs that Homestucks don't really need and probably skim. However, even for people who aren't familiar with Homestuck, there's probably better ways to introduce the information.
For me, at least, one of the major appeals of Homestuck was that not only did I not have a clue what was happening, but neither did the characters. I sort of sympathies with the characters, journeying with them as they tried to make sense of their surroundings. When the omniscient narrator just explains how things work, even though I already knew them, some of the magic is lost. Thus, also, when Fluttershy was receiving the hints on how to play the game, it ruined the chance for the characters to discover things on their own.
I'll be honest. I almost stopped reading after the first chapter. But I continued. And I'm really really glad that I did, because...
Pros: Your writing style. I was weary of it, at first, because of how casual it was. Casual generally equates to unprofessional. But that I remembered that Homestuck itself is casual, so I gave it a chance. And you're funny. I have a file on my computer where I copy funny quotes I come across. A substantial number of quotes in that file are now Ponystuck. Your style works. You pulled it off, and that's what matters.
Your unique take on the story. Every session faces its own problems. The Incipisphere is a setting, but not a story on its own. The happenings in the war between Prospit and Derse, the imaginings, that what-ifs, are all things for the writer to decide. And again, you pulled it off. What are the consequences of the toppling of the prototype towers going to be? I have no clue. But I can't wait to find out.
I've been planning on writing my own Homestuck/MLP crossover, and maybe I will, but it looks like this ground is already being explored, and you're doing an excellent job of it.
In summary, tracked and watched. Keep being awesome.
335956 Wow, constructive criticism! THE LEGENDS WERE TRUE!
In all seriousness, thanks for liking the story and taking the time to write all of that. I'm going to go over what you've said, both for something to do and because I like replying. Replying is my favourite.
I know that my explanations of mechanics thus far have been compressed, and that is for several reasons (some worse than others). Firstly, this story IS targeted at people who have read Homestuck, and at the time I was attempting to bring non-Homestuck readers up to speed as quickly as possible without wasting the time of those who knew all of this stuff already. Looking back, as you said, there are ways and means to do this in a less upfront manner. Explaining the mechanics which are unique to Ponystuck will be done in a more planned way, hopefully.
But about the hints which Fluttershy received, those were mainly intended to explain why ponies with absolutely no gaming experience whatsoever could pick up the interface and mechanics in the space of 8 minutes. I thought of it as the equivalent to the walkthrough which Rose read, which obviously the mane 6 would have no equivalent of.
Yay for sticking with the story past the first chapter! I'll be honest, looking back I'm really not all that happy with the first chapter. I was just trying to get it done. Same goes for chapter 3. Of course, I'll probably feel the same way about Chapter 10 in a few chapters. I can always improve, and doing so will just make my lesser chapters look bad. Ho hum.
Another yay, this time for being funny! :D While I like to think that I could write a serious story with proper style and pacing and everything, without the luxury of just putting "***A FEW HOURS LATER***" wherever I feel like it, the way I write Ponystuck is a lot easier to keep pumping out. Of course, I was attempting to make it read like Homestuck (but a much lower quality Homestuck that's entirely fan written and consists of just 500 pages of God Tier Gamzee doing the truffle shuffle (hell yes)).
Hopefully now that all the teams are at least mentioned, and things are picking up from an overall storyline perspective, the actual plot can get under way. That is the point when it will (probably) start to diverge from Homestuck a lot more dramatically. This could potentially be a terrible idea.
But anyway, thanks for all the criticism! And for tracking and watching and stuff! You keep being awesome too, OK?
In other news, Chapter 11 should be up soon. I have time management problems like you wouldn't believe. I haven't checked Homestuck in days, and I still haven't watched yesterday's episode yet (no spoilers plz). But the chapter will be up. You have my assurances, or at least my vague confirmations.
"the Land of Tea and Cake"
I wanna go there!!
So much hate in theses ponies. SO. MUCH. HATE
Chat boxes
daunting walls of text
time shenanigans
and all the feels, all of them........
definitely a great start to a great Homestuck Fan-Fic
will defiantly keep reading