Raven Inkwell Gets Spiked

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Spike Gets Raven Inkwelled
The light side of the bit caught the sunlight, coinage refracting a blinding beam into Spike's green eyes. Spike stopped walking. He wasn't a foal or a fool anymore to keep going forward while blinded only to find himself broadsided by something--a sofa, a quill, raven or inkwell, whatever. He blinked and pocketed the currency into his upper vest pocket, pausing until he could see again before he dared move.

"Spike!" The grating sound of monotonous manufactured efficiency reached his ears, resounding against the castle's columns and its marble halls. But his eyes did not open.

"Chancellor Spike: what is the meaning of this filly-dallying?" It was Raven Inkwell, Princess Celes--Former Princess Celestia's unicorn aide and confidante, who had stayed on in government until Spike and the new Princess could become settled. Her spittle was striking him. ^{(An assumption of closed-eye Spike's, but a good one. If it was not spittle, then Raven was spritzing water at him with a novelty device or splashing from a quick thrust from an open glass...and while those could be possibilities, they weren't likely since Raven, unlike several of Spike's notorious friends, was not a fan of pranks, and she was a stickler for protocol, which demanded nopony sip while strolling through the castle on non-Festival days lest one's drink become upended.)}

Raven was Spike's instructor for his new position--the second-most important in Equestria--that of being the hoof of, or in Spike's case--the claw of its ruler, "Princess" Twilight Sparkle. Spike, the dragon, had been Twilight's assistant for years before she ascended to rule Equestria. But, years ago, he filled in for her administratively for a single day and had made a mountain of a mess. Everypony agreed it was prudent for him to have additional training beyond even the Princess's transitional period. And so Raven of the old administration remained, even though her boss, Princess Celestia, had flown away.

Raven often reminded Spike of his failures contrasted to her skills. He might be famous in the neighboring Crystal Empire, which he had saved from destruction multiple times, but here in Equestria, his reputation was far lower than her carefully cultivated stature.

Years ago, when Celestia had occasionally abandoned the castle to defeat horrors threatening Equestria, Raven had ruled in her stead so well that nopony even realized Celestia had been gone. When Spike filled in for Twilight Sparkle, he had caused a water leak, incensed friendship delegates, and had come within a snoutslength of destroying the Grand Equestria Pony Summit. Even now, far removed from the aftermath, he rarely received invitations for high-society events.

Although Spike needed all the help he could get in transitioning to his new position, he couldn't help but notice Raven's "help" was rudely and reluctantly provided. The mare had little intention of retiring, but Spike couldn't prove that.

Raven filled Spike's days with meetings, shuffling him from the nose end of Canterlot to its tail. He had barely seen Princess Twilight Sparkle in days. Meanwhile, Raven hobnobbed, providing the Princess everything and ignoring Spike except to provide criticism after Spike had "learned by experience what not to do."

Spike usually forgot his questions, and when he remembered, Raven deflected him to Raven's Rules of Order, a two thousand three hundred and eleven page hoofwritten tome (without an index) that she had compiled at the previous Princess's request. Spike was used to research since he had assisted Twilight Sparkle on innumerable projects, but Raven's Rules were not only disorganized and lacking an index, but they also were written in the worst unicorn-authored script ever scrawled. It was as if Raven had intentionally scribbled everything in minute slanted smudged letters. He'd confronted her about it.

"By writing small, dear Spikey wikey," she started, much as Spike's old crush, the fashionista pony Rarity, had often spoken kindly to him. He'd flushed. No one else called him that, and Raven wasn't stating it in a nice way, but he couldn't object to Raven Inkwell calling him that since everyone knew Rarity said it to him often. Maybe he could distinguish the relationships... but rumors might return to Rarity that he was pining for her again and she'd be offended and wouldn't want to see him and he hadn't been able to find anycreature who he loved other than her. He must have a chance with her...

Raven continued. "The tome would have been 4,000 or 6,000 pages if it was not written in miniature. My economy of writing has saved Equestria great sums."

Spike had snorted. Raven's saved sums wasted even greater time-productivity since he had to visually crawl through the work, pausing to squint and decipher words that barely clarified even under inspection by his trusty magnifying glass.

Spike often wrote down questions, since he wasn't a fool unable to adapt to challenging situations, but it was often impolite to slowly scribe in public. Spike was the first dragon-Chancellor. Most Chancellors had been unicorns, and although he wrote as fast as Earth ponies signed with their mouths, and certainly fast enough for Twilight before she had become a Princess, he would never write as fast and clear as a unicorn who could magically levitate a quill, controlling its inkflow.

An interviewee for a position at the castle had bolted when Spike spent minutes ascribing notes and ideas on what to ask Raven for interview process improvements. The more Spike had written, the more nervously the interviewee had twisted. Maybe the lost applicant was not a huge loss since good employees were usually confident... but Spike had also held up an inspection at the central hay processing facility, and he'd agitated a negotiating functionary from Griffonia who wanted "more squawking, less scribing". Although the griffin may have just been complaining to put Spike diplomatically on the wrong hoof (rather, a claw in his case), the griffin still had a point. Spike wouldn't want to attend a meeting where the other side dawdled to respond because it was scribbling notes.

"You're late for a very important date," Raven continued.

"Hello-" Spike began.

"No time to say hello!" She bopped his nose with her floating pen. Ink spilled from its reservoir, splattering Spike's face. "Goodbye!" She hoof-bopped him on the back of his head. He was a dragon and could take physical abuse better than ponies could--but Raven was taking advantage.

Spike kept his eyes shut. When he felt his optics had recovered, Spike opened his eyes, took a deep breath, and continued his sojourn, running.

Spike arrived late at the currency redesign meeting. The representatives,^{(except one who was asleep)} whether they were clad in suits and bow-ties and representing multicultural Manehatten, or were donning straw hats like those from earth-pony-majority Appleloosa, all stared at him.

A donkey spat into her spittoon. "This what the hoity-toity Canterlottian Princess thinks of the Currency Redesign Commission? Sendin' a late lackey?"

There was grumbling around the table.

"My apologies, fair delegates." Spike spread his arms. "I am doing my best to honor you all. Several hours were set aside for this meeting."

"Ya' missed introductions." A yellow pony with an apple cutie mark tossed his orange mane, winking at Spike.

"He missed them; he don't get to know who we are." The donkey harrumphed.

"Don't be a jackass." The yellow pony sighed.

"I'm a jenny, not a jack. And 'ass' is an insultingly *backwoods* archaic way to refer to my species. We're donkeys or, in long form for educated creatures--asinuses." The donkey put her hooves on the table, leaning over it to spit at the yellow pony.

The yellow pony ignored the donkey and the short-falling spittle while smiling at Spike. "I'm Braeburn by the way. I don' think we met, but you've pro'bly heard of me from my cousin Applejack. I'm representin' Appleloosa."

The donkey was not accepting Braeburn's deflection. "Not gonna apologize... you apple-brained flatlander? Eee-Haw! How you like that? Eee-Haw! You toy pony!"

Silence. Sweat beaded across Spike's brow. He didn't know what the second insult meant, but it had swiped the smile off Braeburn's face. A "Toy Pony" was a derogatory term referring to a small pony who avoided manual labor and who instead spent time playing rather than contributing to pony society. Dilettante ponies in Manehatten or Canterlot might accept the appellation, but few proud working ponies would abide it.

Braeburn bit his lower lip, and the donkey grinned, then sat back on her haunches.

The Manehatten delegate whispered something to the Canterlot delegate, a pink-maned white-bodied pony, who nodded, then affixed the donkey with a devastating stare.

"How about we... move past this," Spike said.

The donkey hee-hawed, then grinned at the others encircling the table. "Chancellor Raven Inkwell wouldn't have been late. But I guess we can push through and hope we can enjoy some years of prosperity before the current ruling group burns everything to the ground."

"It's just currency," Braeburn muttered.

"Currency that has for too long only reflected the visage of a 'pony' princess." The donkey spat out the pony word like a piece of hay--which in fact landed on the table. "Equestria must broaden its horizons and recognize all of its...." The subsequent word was hard for her to say, "citizens."

The Canterlot delegate tittered a laugh. "May as well include a Buffalo..." To illustrate, she illustrated buffalo-shaped air images with her hooves.

The donkey snorted, "your jest demeans donkey-kind! The Buffalo are independent; not even part of Equestria. Are there even Buffalo citizens who strayed from their herd? Doubtful! Maybe ten. Twenty-three--who knows. Who cares? Donkeys, however, account for two point three percent of Equestria's population!" ^{(Spike wasn't sure of the precise count, but there were at least twelve Buffalo citizens of Equestria who he had met at a naturalization function.)}

"But we've never had anypony on currency other than Celestia." The Manehatten delegate objected. "Our main focus should be on the buildings or city to place on the backside of the currency."

"Ponyville obviously." Mayor Mare of Ponyville, home to most of Princess Twilight's heroic friends, the Elements of Harmony, suggested.

"Princess Twilight hails from Canterlot, however." The Canterlot delegate pointed out, posing grandiosely while she posited. "And herein she does also rule. Canterlot is the center of Ponykind."

"But Ponyville is where the Princess learned how Friendship is Magic--Friendship which she and her friends have used to defend Equestria--and where her School of Friendship with all the races is located!" Mayor Mare said.

"Precisely why the coin's facade needs a donkey!" the donkey added.

"Both sides could be the front or the back or both at the same time," Spike wondered. "How do you tell which is which?"

"Oh dear," The Canterlot delegate gently shook her head. "Chancellor, you know our current coinage has a light side and a dark, do you not?"

"Yeah," Spike nodded. He understood the theory but it didn't make sense. The "light" side, the front, bore Celestia's shining visage. The back, or "dark" side, Canterlot. But it wasn't any darker than the light--either side could just as easily catch the sunlight or, on a flip, come up on top.

"A thousand years ago, Luna, the Princess of the Night's visage was engraved on the dark side...it was removed after the Nightmare Moon incident." The Canterlot delegate shuddered at remembrance of the dark entity's history of terror--a time in which the demonic Nightmare Moon had seized control of Luna's personality and threatened to cover the land in eternal night. " And replaced with a picture of Canterlot, but the naming convention remained. The coin's front celebrates Celestia--the light, so the back must celebrate the dark."

"It must?" Spike asked.

"It's also darker. Inherently." The donkey added.

"...I have noticed a slight shade." The Canterlot delegate considered the point. "But it's not consistent."

"It's there." The donkey pushed two coins to the center of the table, one flipped to each side.

Ponies around the table squabbled.

"Okay!" Spike changed the subject, silencing the squabble. "But Celestia won't be on the coin any more."

Delegates hissed, others sucked in breath, most likely preparing to vent it out in shouts.

"Princess Celestia's continuing position on our bits remains to be determined." The Canterlot delegate gave a thin smile. "Although Canterlot could be persuaded to remove the abdicated Princess Celestia, retaining her visage will provide a sense of stability to our populace, which has undergone great changes over the past...chaotic and strange transitional years."

"Ya got that right!" Braeburn shouted. Several delegates' heads bobbed in agreement.

The donkey spat out more hay. "You don't got anything right, Fleur de Lis. You don't even got a right to be here."

The Canterlot delegate flushed. "I beg your pardon?"

"Yer just a butt keeping your boyfriend's seat warm."

Fleur de Lis spoke with an edge to her words. "Minister of the Exchequer Fancy Pants cannot represent Canterlot on this exquisitely important issue as he is associated with the government ministry rather than with the city of Canterlot, so I, a leading Canterlotian citizen, was asked by the Princess," she stressed her source of authority, "to assume the position."

"..." The donkey blinked. Then her retort came to her. "Hee-Haw! Just like every weekend you 'assume the position' for Fancy Pants and your twenty other stallionfriends--"

The delegates descended to shouting and blows might have been thrown--several glasses were smashed--but Spike's voice rose above the crowd: "Who will present their proposals?"

Conflict forgotten when presented with important political opportunity, voices called "Me!", coupled also with a distinct, "I will," from Canterlot, and a "Buck you," from the donkey.

Spike sorted through the mess of ideas, noting leading options:

* The donkey suggested a grinning donkey head on the light side and a collection of Equestria's great cities on the dark.
* Braeburn's traditionalist group suggested retaining Celestia on the coinage's "light" side and placing Twilight on the "dark". Going into more detail than was appropriate, Braeburn suggested the illustration might commemorate Twilight's nighttime 'light' bucking of the 'deadbeat Donkey' who had refused to move from in front of the Canterlot to Whinnyapolis train carrying medical supplies that were being sent to cure the Whinnyapolitan Flu. Blows from the donkey representative were nearly landed on Braeburn, so Spike omitted details of that proposal's illustration.
* A pro-Twilight group led by Mayor Mare of Ponyville sought the Princess' visage on the light side and Ponyville on the dark. Other groups expressed limited support but had issues with the dark side's depiction--most wanted Canterlot for reasons stated by the Canterlot delegate. Manehatten was supported by a few since it was a place where all Equestrian pony types--Earth, Pegasi, and Unicorn came together.

After only a few more disputes and hours, Spike closed the meeting. Although he had managed some educational victories, he'd still only determined names for four of the sixteen representatives, and most of those were ponies he'd already known. His first meeting of the day had ended, and he was already exhausted.

Spike popped a gem down his gullet to sate a growing stomach, then looked at a looming clock, high on the wall. He wasn't going to make his next meeting on time. After this meeting had descended into shouting separate side caucuses and Spike declared they would meet again in a few weeks to vote on the leading proposals but that he really must move on to his next appointment, that donkey had buttonholed him, intentionally delaying him with quizzes on details about whether he, who couldn't even control a meeting or arrive on time, really was Princess Twilight's Chancellor. She almost certainly had ulterior motives. She asked what Twilight's favorite color was (violet), what she liked most to eat (hayburgers), amid more probing and inappropriate questions, some of which he deflected to preserve Princess Twilight's privacy. He hoped he'd deflected enough to save Twilight and him some trouble later even though he probably hadn't.

Minister of the Exchequer, Fancy Pants, smiled at Spike as Spike skidded to a halt on the polished marble floors of the Mint. Spike slid a few hoof-lengths, and Fancy Pants' eyes followed the dragon from right to left as Spike continued his gradual slide into a door. As Spike collided with the door's wood and gold frame, Fancy Pants' smile dropped to an aggressively neutral expression. Spike staggered back, then shook his head and looked at Fancy Pants.

"Shall we?" Fancy Pants asked.

"I'm real sorry Minister Fancy Pants--" Spike started.

Fancy Pants smiled kindly at Spike, then gently jerked his head toward the mint's imposing doors.

"I didn't want to be an hour and a half late but matters beyond my control--" Spike continued.

"Think nothing of it. I live to serve." Fancy Pants smiled again. He had a way about him that put ponies--and at least one dragon--at ease. "But of course, let's have an efficient tour."

Fancy Pants nodded his head at its yellow halberd-holding guardpony who silently bobbed his head in acknowledgement, then pulled the door open.

Two hours later, Spike and Fancy Pants emerged with Fancy Pants begging Spike's pardon that he needed to change for a function where he would be meeting Fleur and a number of other ponies.

Spike, dazed by the details, let him go and commiserated to the guard. "Guess there's more to currency than a pony would think, right?"

The guard blinked at him, then stared, intent.

"You can't talk on duty?"

Frowning, the guard tilted his head.

"Special rules for the mint? Weird," Spike said.

The guard clopped his left forehoof against the marble. Front side, full stomp, tap tap tap.

"What?" Spike asked.

The guard reached into an unbuttoned breast pocket and extracted a card, which he offered to Spike.

Spike read:

"I am deaf-mute. I can read lips and under certain permitted circumstances, write, but I must be alert. Writing is discouraged during solo duty. If you understand Hoofcode, then we may converse. Please return this card when done."

"Ooooh," Spike nodded. Then he placed the card back into the guard's pocket. "I'm sorry. I don't speak Hoofcode. Twilight always said it would be useful to learn, but I don't really have the best tools." Spike flexed his claws.

The guard smiled, politely.

"Anyway, I better be on my way. Sorry again."

The guard caught a sigh halfway, but ultimately, he smiled, which was a requirement of his duty, as Spike departed.

The Next Day

The door to Twilight Sparkle's audience chamber was shut, but Spike could hear laughter behind it--the laughter of Twilight Sparkle and the former chancellor--Raven Inkwell. Then the door opened and Spike heard Twilight's voice: "I see why you were indispensable! You know just what's needed. Thank you so much for being at my side and for training Spike!"

Raven nodded, sneering at Spike as she passed. "He's doing fair. Teaching will take time, but he will be acceptable... eventually."

"I'll just have to do the most I can to enjoy your expertise while I have you." Twilight hugged Raven goodbye and turned to Spike. "How was your day?", she asked.

The Day After That

Spike refused to accede to Raven's schedule.

"My goal--" he pep-talked himself, adjusting clothing while looking into a mirror. "Is to balance learning with being available to help at Twilight's side. Raven's not going to replace me!"

Determined, he slammed his claws down on his dresser in front of the mirror, impaling correspondence, which then needed to be gingerly shaken off. And so, a punctured letter from Smolder, a crumpled invoice, and a lightly-poked and likely-outdated schedule detailing Twilight's daily activities fluttered into the trash. Also loosened by jostling and its darning, the contents of his vest pocket tumbled and rolled across the floor.

Spike walked to his door, getting an early start on the day, but the door stuck on something--the bit that had been in his vest pocket. He had intended to investigate it more after completing his tasks. Now, the bit was holding back his door. He grabbed it, again examining its "light" front with Celestia's proud form, then its "dark" back bearing a nighttime view of the capital, Canterlot.

Fancy Pants had educated him about why it had its shape--the mint's presses were designed for circles. Spike learned about its weight, why cutting its girth in half would devalue it and make it less sturdy. He also learned about counterfeiters, gold shavers who took parts off the bit, boiled the leavings and combined them into new gold.

But Fancy Pants hadn't been able to explain why when Spike looked at a coin it seemed like Celestia's side was brighter, shining even. Some of Spike's acquaintances had been temporarily blinded when sunlight caught the bit just right. When he thought hard about it, that always happened when the coin reflected off Celestia's clear ridges, never from Canterlot's.

Fancy Pants assured Spike that although the rumor was poppycock, if it had any truth, it must be due to the complexity of the etching and the smoothness of Celestia's mien compared to Canterlot's many lines. Spike was not satisfied. The myth had become a reality for him although Fancy Pants suggested a collective hallucination and rambled about theories from a recent psychological symposium, clarifying nothing for Spike.

If the answer wasn't to be uncovered at the Mint, then maybe the truth would be in a book, but Spike didn't have time for reading anything other than the terrible Rules. He needed to reassert his position as Chancellor before the former one stole the position away. Spike put the bit back into a pocket.

And so, Spike, who was already late for a meeting with rock farmers, instead sauntered into Twilight's morning audience, approaching the throne.

Raven huffed at Spike's presence and metaphorically slithered closer to Twilight.

Twilight noticed Spike after Raven whispered into her ear. She brightened, leaned forward on her throne and greeted Spike who returned the warm greeting with a wide smile, faltering a bit though when he saw the eyebrow-furrowed Raven whispering almost certainly evil words to her.

"That does need doing!" Twilight nodded, drawing back into her throne, farther from Spike. "And Spike is the best pony... for that job." From time to time, when Twilight was distracted, she referred to Spike as a pony--but that had stopped after Equestria welcomed a dazzling array of foreign creatures to the School of Friendship--she'd been more careful about nomenclature. But now that they'd been separated, Twilight had forgotten--grown careless about him. And Spike noted a glinting grin in Raven's eyes. The former Chancellor also realized the possibilities implicated by Twilight's mistake.

Spike, however, couldn't object to a task that was uniquely suited for his skills.

"Could it--maybe, wait?" He tried to object.

"Not at all." Raven shook her head. "The gem wards are getting dangerously low and require replacement--"

"Why weren't they replaced before?" Twilight furrowed her brow.

"It was noted on Spike's activities list, but so much training has been required that he must have--through little fault of his own--been unable to complete the task. Even though it slipped his mind, he can address it now that he apparently has had some time open up," Raven said.

"Couldn't I do it later today?" Spike asked.

"Did you need to see me about something during this precise moment?" Twilight cocked her head in question.

"Well, yeah--um. Not really, but--" Spike said.

"Then now is a perfect time to address the issue. And Spike," Raven added. "How did the meeting with the rock farmers go? Did something happen to make it end so soon?"

"Ahhh..." Spike hadn't prepared an excuse.

A chastened Spike found himself sent on a gem-related errand, and his apologies were sent via guardpony to the rock farmers.

Spike later heard that Limestone Pie and the other rock farmers had raised several rocky criticisms at his expense. But the craggy ponies would probably have complained even if he hadn't ditched their meeting. Although he was in a position of power and (probably) respect, ponies (according to Raven's book) traditionally complained--a lot--about the Chancellor, who was a net to catch criticism that would otherwise be leveled at the Princess. 'Oh, the Princess didn't deny you a meeting; her unreasonable Chancellor did,' was how gripes usually went, though a way must exist to circumvent those problems since Raven had remained reasonably popular.

Spike was certain Raven must have invented this make-work task in case she ever needed to send Spike away from crucial bonding time with Twilight. If Spike stayed away much longer, Twilight would forget about his value like an old, devalued bit, and she would beg Raven to stay on for another few months, a year, two, three, five, forever? Spike shook his head. Forever wouldn't--couldn't happen. Ponies didn't live forever, just alicorns. And dragons usually outlived ponies. But... Spike's eyes narrowed. What was stopping Raven from ascending to become an alicorn? There were already rumors that she could detach her horn, or (less interestingly) that she had a twin. Others said she had the strength of an Earth pony! At least those were the rumors that Spike's well-connected but not-quite-reliable friend Pinkie Pie had told him. Still, he'd (wisely) corroborated the tale with his more serious friend Starlight, who'd rolled her eyes and said: "Yeah, I've heard that bu--" and then she'd teleported away to deal with an emergency at her School of Friendship.

So, Spike wasn't going to complete the gem task. At least he wasn't gonna do it Raven's way. He wasn't going to be her pawn any longer.

He flapped his wings fast, traveling to Ponyville's premier bed and breakfast, the newly re-opened Lyra's Lounge, and he found her there.

"Smolder!" Spike knocked on the door of his friend who, conveniently for him, was visiting friends in Ponyville according to the now-perforated and trashed correspondence they'd exchanged. That said, he still wasn't clear precisely why she was in town since she had obligations as the recently elevated Chancellor of the Dragon Lands, but her presence suited his purposes. And she was, he supposed, his foreign counterpart. Thus, like the exquisitely manipulative chancellor Goal Posts, who he'd read about in a streaky footnote on a crumpled page of Raven's Rules, he was going to change the rules of the "game" by making use of his friend-resource!

Clawsteps inside the room clattered, followed by a yawn and a gravelly shout. "I'm comin', I'm comin."

The door opened to reveal the orange scaly coloration of Smolder. "Hey, Spike," she said, "didn't expect you to drop by. At this hour anyway. Thought you slept in?"

"Yeah," Spike acknowledged. "I used to. But, the Chancellorship..."

"Yeah. Congrats again." Smolder blinked sleep out of her eyes.

"I wish our meeting was under better circumstances," Spike started, "I'm gonna--Smolder. I'm sorry--I'm gonna ask for a favor."

Smolder snorted out a smoke cloud. "How long's it gonna take? I've got a lunch date...meeting." She flushed and lowered her head to an apparent nonchalant study of her fingernails. "But since I'm up... I've got more hours than I expected." She yawned and wiped sandy accretions out of her right eye while blinking other accumulations out of her left.

Spike explained what he had to do.

"Weird task for a pony Chancellor," Smolder noted.

"It's a responsibility that a dragon can best accomplish."

"I dunno... Sounds like smokework."

"Smokework?" Spike, raised by ponies, had missed out on dragonisms.

"Stuff you pass on to somedragon because you don't want to do it and you want to keep the dragon busy. Like you'd send the lowest ranking dragon on for hazing."

"No, no, no." Spike shook his head.

"Meh," Smolder shrugged. "I'm no pony expert and I'm doing this as a friendship favor...in return for another one later, of course," she grinned. "So it's all silver to me."

After having worked things out, Smolder flew off on her mission.

Spike returned to the hall to find Twilight and her meeting with...Spike forgot what Twilight was supposed to be doing. Her schedule changed a lot. Twilight edited it as new fancies and petitions reached her and when Twilight wasn't editing, Raven aggressively cut and sliced and diced it, red update ink bleeding and pooling. Updates were carried to Spike by otherwise-idle royal guards but it didn't make sense to squintingly decipher the mostly-illegible and almost certainly soon-to-be obsolete scrawls unless he needed to locate Twilight and his own schedule was packed too tight for him to do that. But Smolder was completing Spike's tasks today. He could join Twilight!

When Spike returned, the audience chamber door was locked and guarded. The guards did not immediately throw it open for Spike.

"--strict orders the Princess is not to be disturbed."

"Did she tell you?" Spike asked. "Or, was it our former Chancellor?" He made air quotes on the word 'former'.

The guards were silent.

"Ugh," Spike snorted. "Let me in. I outrank Raven."

"But-" The guards started.

"Who runs things here?"

"Princess Twilight."

"Other than her?"

"Raven Inkwell." One guard said.

"You." The other inclined his head.

"Open the bucking door." Spike growled, smoke brimming at his nostrils.

The guards shared a glance. "We can't."

Spike's eyes grew wide and his cheeks filled. His developing tantrum could end in smoke and flame. But before that happened, a bell rang and the guards snapped to attention, pulling open the doors. Spike swallowed his smoke. Before him, the chamber was nearly empty, filled only with Princess Twilight, former Chancellor Raven Inkwell, and that donkey from the currency meeting.

"Thank you again for sharing your detailed thoughts!" Twilight said brightly.

The donkey harrumphed. "Appreciation for holding this meeting." Then she strode away, head held high, snorting when she passed Spike. When she was out the door, Spike slipped past her, and the door closed.

"Spike?" Twilight noted his presence. "You finished your task?"

"It's under control." Spike's voice twinged with anger. "I delegated."

"But you were asked to complete the task--" Raven started.

"If there's one thing I've learned from Raven," Spike said, "it's delegation."

"Ah," Twilight nodded. "That's good."

"But what I want to know," Spike added, his anger still strong. "Is why I, the Royal Chancellor, was barred from this audience chamber!"

Twilight frowned and furrowed her brow. "You're always welcome--" she started.

"Raven!" Spike shouted at the former Chancellor, who smiled a smug grin with accompanying sly eyes.

"I had thought it best, Princess, if you had uninterrupted time, so I phrased the guards' orders broadly, with obvious exceptions for emergencies. There was no reason to suspect Spike would return so soon."

Raven turned to Spike. "Is there an emergency? Was there any particular reason for delegating the task? What prompted your quick return?"

"... Nothing. I-I wanted to be here in case Twilight needed me." Spike choked back smoke and flame and anger.

Twilight smiled, magnanimously. "It's fine, Spike. Raven has been a great help. But Spike," she frowned. "I'm worried about you. Are you all right?"

"What do you mean?" Spike blinked.

"I've had reports from the currency meeting that you--allegedly--caused several arguments. These complaints, originating from multiple sources, reference insulted delegates."

"That bucking donkey...", Spike thought some words he knew it would be best not to express. And although he could righteously deny being the source of the insults, the mere fact that heated disagreements had taken place would do little to rebuild his reputation as a competent, diligent, and proper Chancellor. If Raven wasn't present at the moment, he may have been able to recover some dignity, but since she was looming like a pendulum, it was inevitable that she would speak up with the wrong words and nothing Spike could say would help.

"Um. Okay. ... Fine," he said. "I'll... keep that in mind." He studied the floor, then changed the topic. "I'd like to--I'm gonna--I can help with your appointments."

Raven distracted. "You mentioned you delegated the gem task. Who is completing it?"

Spike snorted smoke. Twilight noted the discharge with a raised eyebrow.

"Smolder's helping."

"I see." Raven nodded. "Congratulations. I hope you made a prudent decision, although it is a bit odd to delegate a task to a Chancellor-equivalent of a foreign country, but what matters are the results.... and that no negative diplomatic incident has been inadvertently created," she shrugged. "Now, Twilight?" Raven levitated a schedule of activities.

"Oh yes." Twilight's eyes widened.

"It's time for the... personal activities, and sleep."

"Of course." Twilight rose from her throne.

"You're not receiving anyone else?" Spike asked.

"That was the last petitioner for the morning," Twilight said. "I'll be glad to have you at my side this evening, Spike!"

Raven ushered Twilight aside, breaking the Princess's eye contact with Spike so the conversation could not naturally continue. Then, Twilight and Raven were gone.

Spike stared after them.

In the evening, Spike found the door guarded by nopony and bearing a simple "Knock for entry" sign in Raven Inkwell's writing but scribed much clearer than her smudged Rules.

A messenger-guard holding a violet package with a tied-on card impressed with a smaller-than-usual bivalve hoof reached the door, and placed a key in its lock. The door opened, then he handed a familiar-looking interior door guard a package, saluted, left, and the door slammed shut.

Spike headed to the door and he probably would have caught it before it shut, but he hesitated when he heard the flapping of wings. Over his shoulder, he glimpsed a scowling Smolder hauling a burgeoning sack.

"Took most of the flaming day, but I got it done!" She tossed the sack at Spike's feet. "How you like them gems?"

"Thanks Smolder, I owe you!" Spike rushed over and jumped up to hug her. She deftly extricated herself from him, alighting him gently.

"Yeah... whatever... you know I'll expect that favor sometime." Smolder turned and took off.

Lifting the gem sack over his shoulder, Spike stiffened, walked to the doors, and knocked. And waited. And knocked again. And waited again.

"Ridiculous!" Shouting, he banged on the doors. He huffed and smoke gathered in his nostrils and cheeks and... he let it subside. It was difficult to replace large heavy wooden doors. Twilight would not be pleased to have a hole burned in them. Spike didn't know where the key-bearing messenger-guard had gone, so he sought out another. "Hey! You got a key to the throne room?"

"No, Chancellor." The guard, obviously leadership quality, recognized Spike's authority!

"Who does?"

"I do not know, Chancellor."

"Then find out! This could be an emergency. They aren't opening the door when I knock."

"Is there not an exterior door guard?"

"No!"

"Is there an interior guard?"

"How should I kno--yes, I saw one."

"I will sound the alarm." The guard rushed off.

"Twilight could be in trouble!" Spike called after him, then abandoned the gem sack and took to flight, throwing himself against a hinged castle window until it gave and he was able to squeeze outside. Once beyond the glass, he fluttered up outside the throne room's stained glass halls going higher and higher until he reached a point where, due to isolated welds of stained glass, crashing through it would do the least damage. At the windows' apex, he blew flame, concentrating heat until it melted apart welds and shattered the windows. As soon as he was able, he chased the clattering, collapsing glass inside.

Beneath, Twilight sensed the falling glass and activated a protective bubble, encompassing her, Raven Inkwell, and Fancy Pants, the Minister of the Exchequer. Spike landed beside them to find that nothing particularly nefarious had occurred.

Twilight deactivated her protective bubble. "Spike! What's wrong?" Her face creased with worry.

"I thought you were in peril--"

"Why?"

The door at the end of the hall opened with a click. Five guards rushed in, overwhelming the one interior guard, who moved to defend the Princess.

"STAND DOWN!" Twilight ordered, projecting a ear-shattering projection of the Royal Canterlot voice.

The guards stopped, mere moments from drawing blood from the interior guard.

"What in Celestia's name is happening?" Twilight demanded.

"I-" Spike started. "I couldn't get into the throne room. I knocked and threw myself against it. Since there were no guards outside, I raised the alarm.

"Guard," Twilight asked the interior door guard. "Did you hear anything?"

The guard, frowning, shook his head. And he looked at his hooves. Deafness might preclude hearing noise, but it did not preclude sensing vibrations. The ground, however, shifted from stone to heavy carpet, and from heavy carpet to a plush stand adjacent to the Princess--muffling any motion made from the far distance of the doors to her Hall.

"Wait a moment--" Spike at last recognized the yellow-coated guard. "This guard is deaf!"

"What?" Twilight asked.

Raven blinked. "Oh. My new initiative--I had not expected. He's one of the newer guards."

"What do you mean?" Spike asked. Raven certainly had not made a mistake--she was very deliberate about everypony she selected. She knew whom she scheduled for duties that brought them close to the Princess.

"We have no guards at the door's exterior so that we, under proclamation of Princess Twilight," Raven inclined her head toward her liege. "can better redirect them to defend Equestrian citizens from natural threats. This Castle, as we all know, is quite safe since it it protected by the Princess's powerful magical wards... and friendship." Raven added the last as an afterthought.

Twilight blinked away Raven's dissembling and repeated Spike's assertion as a question: "This guard is deaf?"

"Must have been effectively deafened." Raven "corrected". "Spike must have knocked when the guard was adjacent to you, delivering the gifted hayburgers."

"I see," Twilight said.

"One interior guard is too few, it appears," Raven elaborated. "We must require at least one pony positioned exterior to the throne room, or we should return to a minimum of two guards within the interior so this door is never left unponied."

"Of course," Twilight nodded. Then, she ordered: "Guards: two of you please remain here and watch the door, one inside, one out. Messiur Educated," she indicated the deaf guard, "you are relieved for the night, but you are not in trouble. Please report to your commander."

Twilight's orders were carried out.

Spike, ashamed, approached Twilight's left side, the less traditionally powerful side of a ruler--Celestia had been right-hoofed and naturally favored her right so that traditionally valuable placement had remained important despite Twilight's ambidexterity. Spike would have preferred Twilight's right but Raven already murmuring at Twilight's right ear.

Cleaning ponies entered the room to sweep up the glass Spike had shattered.

The meeting Spike had interrupted concerned what Twilight was going to do with the coinage, how she was would replace the bits' imagery to reflect her reign. Raven had brought Spike's sparse notes from his Committee meeting, along with supplemental materials that Spike knew she had prepared solely to make him look incompetent.

Raven wanted Twilight on the front of the coin, as had been done with Celestia before and for Cadance with her Crystal Empire currency. Celestia and Luna would then be on the coin's back to recognize the work they had done for Equestria.

But Twilight noted the donkey's petition and tasty gift. She, wiping ketchup off her muzzle, was strongly considering placing a small donkey, earth pony, pegasus, and unicorn along with Celestia and Luna on the coin's back to symbolize past leadership and harmony. The donkey had wanted to be on the coin's front, but compromise was needed; no matter how delicious they were, she couldn't be bribed with hayburgers, even if they were her favorite number four combos with medium hay fries. And Twilight's face should grace the coin's front--Celestia had set the precedent.

"But maybe that's too cluttered." Twilight second-thought her concept. "Still, Raven... Spike: Wild Ess, who provided us this tasty gift," Twilight munched on a hayburger, splattering its mustard, "raises a good point about inclusiveness."

When Twilight got like this, evaluating merits, she either waffled endlessly or reduced everything to a thousand-point list. At least Spike now knew the donkey's name. She certainly had a wild enough attitude to match her moniker.

"But the reason I called you here, Fancy Pants, is that I wanted to discuss the bigger issue. I've been wondering about different-sized denominations of currency. At least 0.8 percent of our population are either blind or effectively blind, even with corrective lenses, and the number has been mysteriously rising in the past year. We really need to look into that..." She trailed off, problems being tallied in her evaluating mind.

"The currency?" Raven set her back onto the main subject.

"Of course." Twilight blinked. "If currency denominations are variably sized, then everypony could, without looking, determine merely by touch whether a certain bit is worth a different amount. A revolutionary concept! Time would be saved."

"Time is already saved since all bits are worth the same amount." Raven shared a nervous glance with Fancy Pants.

"But if we have different denominations then we could carry less bits; the weight savings would be worthwhile!" Twilight added, then immediately shifted her thought. "Or, we could get really inventive and punch holes in our currency like the kirin, and then if someone needs to make change, thatpony could slice out a segment."

Spike interrupted with something he had learned at the mint. "Twilight. If our currency has different weights, every change-taking location will need very accurate weights and measures."

"Not a problem. The average pony still saves time! Since there are more average ponies than vendors, this is a net societal benefit!"

Spike shook his head. "What if... I just learned this recently from Fancy Pants," he nodded toward the Exchequer, "but if we punch holes in our currency, what happens if it falls apart? Do change-takers calculate how much gold is in the broken pieces?"

Fancy Pants nodded in agreement. "While I did not discuss that precise point with Chancellor Spike," Fancy Pants added, "his statement accurately distills concepts we did discuss." He smiled at Spike.

The meeting continued until Twilight had to depart for an emergency Friendship Council meeting.

Spike was left with Raven Inkwell.

"You assigned a deaf-mute guard on purpose." Spike confronted her.

Raven grinned. "Everypony needs employment."

"There was no reason to only assign him--"

"He can sense vibrations. He does his job quite well, Spike. He can be quite focused. He would have opened the door if not for coincidence. He must, unfortunately for you, have left his post to deliver the Princess's delicious gift when you were banging on the door."

Spike glared. She did have a point about the coincidence, but she had still set up matters to more likely exclude Spike. And her single guard policy endangered Twilight.

"You could have posted an exterior guard!"

"And we will."

"It makes NO sense to only have an interior guard! What if a villain is trying to get in? An interior guard may not be able to judge danger by merely viewing through a porthole."

"I agree." Raven smirked. "That was the Princess's brainstorm. It is important to demonstrate to her that not all of her ideas are perfect. She benefits more by learning from experience."

Spike's mouth dropped. "You're manipulating her!"

"Teaching." Raven walked away. "Consider this another valuable lesson; you've been Inkwelled, informed of something important that will flow down the reservoir of knowledge, eventually to make an impression on the vellum page of your brain. Maybe after a few hundred more lessons you *might* be ready."

Raven Inkwell Gets Spiked

Later that week, Spike had his revenge. It had taken him some time to conceive, but the plan, while petty, would guarantee Spike quality time with Twilight.

Perhaps shamefully taking in claw certain power-projecting lessons from Raven's Rules, he had a very specific guard assigned to Raven's door, a guard seeking redemption who was eager to serve.

The guard, Messiur Educated, stomped his front left hoof several times indicating understanding, then he trotted off to guard Raven's door, standing several hooves away from it with his back to it--far enough so even vigorous vibrations would be unnoticed, Spike had figured, after running surreptitious tests with the unaware guard.

Messiur Educated had written a concern about the arrangement. Spike replied, and his lips were accurately read, that the distance was necessary since the former Chancellor didn't want anypony to violate her privacy by hearing "exciting vibrations" that may or may not be taking place behind her closed door. Although many ponies loved to dance and sing in public, someponies preferred to keep it private, and since nopony had seen Raven joining any musical celebrations pretty much ever, it wasn't too hard to persuade Messiur Educated that she preferred her privacy and was absolutely not to be disturbed.

With that part of the plan underway, the night before Messiur Educated was to take over as guard for Raven's door, Spike had slipped a shining bit underneath her door, with a small note underneath it.

The note read:

Good Morning Raven: Thanks. I've been learning a lot! Inkwelled a lot...sure, but I'm better than you think and have wisdom of my own. Someday, maybe today, you might even get Spiked.

Raven arose early and combed her mane, polished her horn and tucked it out of the obscuring tangle of her mane, sprayed fragrances, and otherwise prepared for another successful day. Then, she pushed the door open with her magic. It caught on something. She tugged at the door, but it stuck harder. She pulled it shut and tried to open it again. This time, it jammed with even less air between it and the doorjamb. She called out: "Guard? Guard?"

But no help arrived and she didn't notice the coin near the doorsill, holding the structure shut. An uneven cobblestone obscured her view and served as an alternative explanation for the sticking door. She was stuck; her door had been spiked.

And Royal Chancellor Spike happily enjoyed a peaceful breakfast with his Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight Sparkle Confronts Celestia's Curse

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Twilight Sparkle Confronts Celestia's Curse

The dark side of the bit, the reverse that tended to face away from the sun, failed to shine even when it faced the light. It had been minted to reflect Princess Luna's dark night as a contrast to Princess Celestia's bright day. Numismatic circles (and squares, in areas with too few enthusiasts to form a proper circle of discussion) celebrated the denomination and its special traits that the mint had imbued. Twilight Sparkle knew all that from reading her books. But Spike, who had visited the mint, claimed no procedure had been employed to intentionally brighten any side.

And so Twilight, her schedule already mostly cleared by Raven's adjustments the previous night to account for a friendship emergency (which ended up being solved in record time by Maud Pie and Cheese Sandwich without need for much input from Twilight. Twilight's eyes narrowed, recollecting that), had Spike completely cancel what little remained.

Grinning wider than she had in months, with Spike at her side holding a subsidiary stack of reference materials, Twilight turned to books to solve the mystery of coinage, tackling a mystery together with her best friends, just like old times.

Twilight paged through a tome. "This is nice, Spike. To do this again. Everything's been so busy; I need to help so many ponies."

Spike nodded and set his pile down beside her. "Should I get another few?"

"No, not yet," Twilight shook her head. Then she stopped. "It's been busy and although I like this... I'm thankful that Raven reminds me when I need to get back to my duties. I just want to drown in a sea of research. Well, in a bubble, protecting me from the murky ocean of books, but a cozy one. Just me, and the books." Twilight stuffed her snout down in studies for a while. Then she raised her head to continue the thought. "Since she's not here, could you remind me to take a break and deal with whatever else needs to get done? And... and since Raven's... temporarily incapacitated like you said. Can you send a runner to let her know she may--should take off the entire day? I don't want her to think she's expected."

"Sure thing Twilight." Spike nodded again, hoping to encourage her. Twilight grinned.

And she turned back to her books.

Hours later.

Twilight stretched her shoulders and cracked her neck, which resounded like a shattering sheet of bones. "Thanks for the water, Spike. This is really like old times."

"Exactly! Nothing's changed." Spike eagerly took the glass of water back from Twilight, though to be fair, she didn't usually take extended breaks like this in the "old times". Spike wasn't sure if these newfangled breaks were due to Raven's influence or if Twilight needed more breaks due to her more advance age. But the latter of those hypotheses couldn't be true since her Alicorn powers strengthened each day. This extended 'breaks' policy must have been one of Raven's ideas... designed for Twilight to needlessly draw out her meetings and accomplish less... accomplishing what exactly for Raven, though? Spike's thoughts were dark.

"I feel so comfortable and less tense." Twilight trotted in place and did some eye exercises, looking close, then far. "I probably won't even need my hour and fifteen minutes with Bulk Biceps straightening my spine today." The muscle-bound expert, transplanted from Ponyville, had been her personal masseuse for the past few months.

"I... could help you with a shoulder rub?" Spike suggested.

The things he would do to recover his position at her side.

"What?" Twilight asked, in her peeved questioning voice. "Since when are you licensed?"

"I'm not--" Spike started.

"Don't worry yourself. No need." Twilight shook her head. "Raven said I required an officially licensed masseuse or else shoulder rubbing might do more harm than good."

"Darn." Raven was still one step ahead of Spike. "She might not be right--"

"She is. I looked it up in a treatise."

"...Not everything written down is right."

Twilight affixed Spike with a threatening stare, then turned back to her books.

After an awkward silence, Spike rattled off a quick, "how's the research going?"

Twilight sighed. "We may need to enter the special collections, from when before Nightmare Moon assailed Luna. If this sparkling phenomena isn't created by the mint, then maybe there's a magical explanation? Celestia should know, but she needs to enjoy her retirement and I need to demonstrate I can rule on my own!"

"I can imagine how that is." Spike glowered, considering Raven.

The special collections consisted of dark books from the era when the Two Sisters ruled Equestria as one. After Nightmare Moon had taken over the personality of Celestia's sister Luna, these books had become corrupted and dark. They rested in a dank cavern at the hoof end of Canterlot. One vault containing many had been destroyed during the explosive Changeling invasion years ago but another vault survived and a treatise on coinage might be among those surviving neglected tomes.

"But you're looking forward to reading them?" Spike asked.

"Of course!" Twilight brightened. "Why wouldn't I?"

"You sighed..."

"Oh, yes. I mean, it will take time to digest and I have responsibilities. Many responsibilities." Twilight looked around the chambers, empty now of petitioners.

"But," she grinned at Spike. "I've also wanted to investigate these special collections and feel the books' spines with my hooves and smell their musk--dusty old books rescued! It doesn't matter that they're supposed to be cursed or if they're infested with mold! This is a great perk of Princesship. Celestia didn't mention them to me when I was her student and I've been so occupied with everything since I found out about them--I can't believe I was able to push all thought about them out of my mind." She narrowed her eyes. "Celestia wouldn't make me... Luna might have altered..." She shook her head. "Anyway, this is my first opportunity to read them! I can find all sorts of secrets within the dark records." Twilight laughed.

"Dark records?"

"They're stored in the dark; inaccessible by anypony; they're occluded--hidden." Twilight nodded. "Scholars have speculated and Celestia denied they existed even when I asked! But they must be under Canterlot. Her diaries have hints. And when I brought it up to her-- nevermind. Without Raven around, I can do this! It's important to take a break from routine Spike, right?"

Spike nodded enthusiastically.

Soon, they descended into the dark, under stalactites and past stalagmites. Twilight's magic helped them evade or squash the local dangers: giant arachnids, ravenous roaches, and shrieking silverfish and other creatures so strange that Spike didn't know what they were called.

After much searching, and passing through no fewer than six illusions, two traps, and three sealed doors: a long hallway and an everfir door loomed. Twilight forced the door open with an awesome display of colorful magic.

Hours later, Twilight was still poring over the dusky decaying books.

"I never knew this!" She eagerly turned a page with her magic. "Spike; I want to know about all these things. I'm gonna pull an all-nighter."

"Uh, Twilight." Spike said. "We've been down here for hours. Maybe take a break?"

"No time." Twilight shook her head. But she went through the motions and lowered the sun with her magic, then raised the moon. At least, she probably did that. Spike recognized the motions but the celestial bodies weren't visible to confirm.

It was well past bedtime for Spike and Twilight and she was still furiously hoofing her way through the books.

Spike took a nap, although there were few acceptable places to rest--the cavern's mold and dripping liquid was a bit all-encompassing. It may have been daytime when he awoke, but the moldy cavern lacked natural light for him to judge the time an easy way. There was just the glimmer of Twilight's horn, glowing as she lowered the moon and raised the sun in accordance with her internally-plotted schedule.

Twilight's studies went on for so long that nearly the entire second day was spent. A second day where strange sounds echoed and dark fog accumulated, obscuring the room, but that wasn't a concern for Twilight, who held back the non-pegasi-created clouds with a minuscule redirection of her magic.

Twilight mumbled to herself and translated the books' Old Ponish, chanting like a dark age monk. She scrawled notes and knitted her brow, pursued circuitous paths of inquiry and discovered strange old lore that had nothing to do with her purpose in delving deep.

And tendrils of darkness emanating from the books gathered around Twilight, who dismissed Spike's fears as hallucinations. She saw nothing insidious and she would not move. Her breath came hoarse, from magic or mold, Spike couldn't be sure. What he could be sure about, however, was that Twilight was losing her mind. And Spike couldn't save her; not on his own.

Spike would have to reach out to Twilight's friends: the sorceress unicorn Starlight Glimmer probably could brute force her way past the terrors and traps and illusions to get through to Twilight. And there were others. Spike had options. But before he left, he pleaded again for Twilight to accompany him.

"... no time. I've uncovered something terrible about our currency and I need to undo it."

"What's that?"

"This." Twilight turned a blackened, burned, and smudged book to Spike. The script was unreadable--Old Ponish. Twilight turned it back around. "Understand?"

"I can't read Old Ponish."

"Ah." Twilight turned a page. "I had confused your skills for Raven's."

Spike resisted the urge to snort smoke and flame. Igniting the books would solve the temporary problem of Twilight's derangement, but destroying ancient lore would anger her deeply and it would be an anger that could be difficult to dispel. He swallowed his disgust. "What does it say?"

"Oh. Yes!" Twilight blinked, then shook her head. "Celestia's curse on the coins. It's why she--her image that is--shines so brightly that the bits catch the light, temporarily blinding ponies to make them walk in darkness, like Nightmare Moon stalked on the dark side of her moon, divided from her sister. Removing the curse could cause a great--well, a terrible disaster!"

"What?" Spike sauntered over to Twilight's side.

"Nightmare Moon cursed our coinage when she possessed Luna's body. Celestia blunted the curse but she couldn't eliminate it entirely."

"But we defeated Nightmare Moon."

Twilight nodded. "And her magic remained."

"But why would removing this curse cause a disaster? The curse was already blunted?"

"This book doesn't say, But, we need to be careful about altering the coins."

"Okay." Spike nodded. "So, don't replace the coins. Easy."

"No. No. No." Twilight shook her head. "We must change the coins."

"Why?"

Twilight fixed him with a stare. "I thought that was discussed at the currency redesign meeting?"

"Maybe before I got there."

"You were tardy?"

"...Yes." Spike hung his head.

Twilight sighed. "Spike, you never change."

"Yes I do!" Spike said. "I'm responsible."

"Responsible for being late!" Twilight paused, then blinked. "Sorry. I know you're studying to be better--"

"You don't know what I've been going through! Raven sends me from one meeting to another with no briefing, no help, no nothing. I have to figure out everything and for any questions she just directs me to her Rules of Order."

"I'm sorry you feel that's bad." Twilight said. "It's what you'd do if Raven wasn't here."

"What?"

"If she wasn't here, you would have to complete all of those responsibilities and hers without help."

"Yeah," Spike said. "But I don't have much help now--"

"And while you learn, she's at my side helping. I've been thinking maybe I should have two Chancellors. The task is already too much for you, and Raven can't address everything she did when she was young. I remember when I was training at Celestia's side and Raven was managing three ambassadors, two soirees, and a royal feast! There seemed to be nothing she couldn't do!"

Spike snorted smoke.

"What's wrong?"

"Raven isn't the Chancellor. I am!"

"Indeed you are!" Twilight insisted, a bit of iron on the edge of her voice, whether from annoyance, exhaustion, or the hideous dark tendrils spreading around the room, Spike couldn't be sure. He hoped it was due to the tendrils since maybe then Twilight wouldn't be expressing heartfelt anger--she'd just be doing whatever the terrifying magical appendages was forcing her to do. After a moment, though, he realized Princess Twilight falling to the dark tendrils' influence would probably be worse.

"Equestria's always had one Chancellor. One."

"But we can do better; there's no reason to run yourself ragged, arriving at meetings tardy."

"No!" Spike insisted. "I'm the first dragon Chancellor--not a pony--dragon."

"Yes..."

"It would be shameful to say that I, a dragon, couldn't do the job a pony could."

"You have different talents--"

"No, Twilight!" Spike insisted. "Raven's manipulating you and me. She doesn't want to go away. She's inventing complications and trouble and keeping me away from you."

"Spike." Twilight took a deep breath. "I need to concentrate on this problem. If we don't change the coins within a certain time after Celestia's retirement, then I will have failed a promise I made to the ponies of Equestria and our Princess!"

"You can just do it later."

"No, Spike. I will not be a failure of a Princess by being tardy--"

"Being late's not so bad. You even had a friendship lesson about it years ago and--"

Twilight glared. "And that's not all." She gestured to another book. "This other tome on coinage indicates there is a mystical link between coinage and Equestria's stability--Equestria's stability! If the coinage is not stable and if it does not properly reflect Equestria, then the entire country could collapse!"

"What?"

"It's true," Twilight nodded. "And it's probably why Princess Celestia made me promise to remake the currency, emblazoning on it my image. In Old Ponish this book says: 'what is constructed without clarity, without relation to truth and justice and honesty and integrity, will collapse.'"

"That's ambiguous." Spike noted.

"No, it's not!" Twilight's wild eyes fixed a glare at her Chancellor. "It's idiomatic. It's saying Equestria was stable during Celestia's rule because her coinage reflected her power. But, during my apprenticeship, her power waned, evil forces assailed Equestria, and our coinage became corrupted. Celestia's care became Celestia's curse, blinding ponies who stared, struck by its reflected glare. And the back became more inky, more obstinate, more... dark."

"So, we'll change the bits when we get back."

"No, no, no!" Twilight insisted. "The curse must be exorcised. I must stay here."

"But what about the petitioners? We need you to rule."

"No." Twilight shook her head. "Celestia left before, for weeks. Raven covered. You and she, you'll cover for me."

Spike took a step back. "Uh...."

"I need you to do this, Spike."

He watched Twilight read, feverishly. The Old Ponish was small, cramped, blurry, damaged, harder to read even than Raven's Rules. Spike shivered, not wishing the pain of reading something worse than that on anyone, and he noted that Twilight's breaths were coming ragged.

"Are you sure you'll be safe? The mold--" Spike started.

Twilight magicked personal bubble barriers around each of them. "That will keep us safe. Good point, Chancellor!" She forced a smile, then resumed reading. Dark tendrils swept around her barrier. Spike could barely see her through the blackness.

"And you need to sleep."

"Not yet." Twilight said. "I am more powerful than ever, so I need less."

"But you will need it."

"Yes. Yes." Twilight dismissed Spike. "Make the arrangements. I must solve this dilemma posthaste; to be tardy would be a terror."

"Our friends could help?" Spike suggested.

"Sunburst and Starlight... perhaps." Twilight mentioned the headmistress and second-in-command of the School of Friendship. "But the new semester--"

"Is less important than this Kingdom-ending problem--" Spike added.

"No, no... I will solve this on my own, Spike. I should. Celestia did."

"But she didn't completely resolve the curse."

"No. She didn't...." Twilight trailed off. And she was lost to Spike.

"I'll be going now," he said.

"Yes, yes." Twilight waved a hoof in his direction. He ran up, hugged her while she dropped the protective bubbles for a moment; then, without a bubble, he left.

Stomach queasy and eyes darting around at shadows he thought--but which couldn't be--ominous dark tentacles creeping through the caves, Spike pondered his course of action.

But when Spike reached the surface, popping his head out of a trapdoor hatch, a glowering, squinting Raven Inkwell was there, flanked by bulky armored guards hoisting sharp halberds pointed at Spike's tiny dragon-Chancellor head.

The Dark Side Smolders

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Surrounded by the guard ponies' halberds, Spike gaped. "Is this... a coup?"

The guards held their ground with courage girded by the presence of the former Chancellor, Raven Inkwell. Several boasted rather ragged looks, bedecked in armor stained by juice... or orange blood.

"Where have you taken the Princess?" Raven, squinting in one eye, thrust a hoof in challenge.

"Twilight--Princess Twilight is researching beneath Canterlot."

"A likely story." Raven withdrew her hoof, hissing.

"The sun set and rose...right?" Spike asked.

"Yes..." Raven admitted.

Spike sighed. "You've never known me to endanger the Princess! Sure, she might endanger herself. In fact," Spike bit his lower lip. "That happens quite often." Several guards exchanged knowing glances, recalling the UltraGriffon incident. "And admittedly, she's probably endangering herself right now, but I have always been at her side... Except right now, since I'm heading out... to--"

"Then, why?"

Spike looked at the guards. Royal Guards were usually discrete but the more who knew a secret, the more difficult it was to keep, and he had no idea how long it would take to lure Twilight from her cave. And many villains could be awaiting a moment of apparent weakness.

"Can we... discuss this in private?"

"I do not trust my safety in your presence... However," Raven noted Spike's odd position, half in and half out of the trapdoor. "You may rise and relocate for interrogation."

A guard lowered a halberd and brought up a rope cord, which he snapped with a grin.

Spike remembered something from Raven's Rules of Order. "In Princess Twilight's absence, her Chancellor holds authority. That's me. I'm her authority. You challenging it?"

Raven grimaced. "You've endangered the Princess!"

"And you're arresting her Chancellor."

Their gazes met.

"If I'm right and she's okay," Spike started. "You're going to look awfully bad to Twilight.... Maybe I should let you arrest me."

Raven hesitated, but Spike's forehead beaded with sweat.

"Stand down." Raven ordered her guards, whether because she was convinced by Spike's rhetoric, because she was plotting a betrayal, or because she realized Spike had powerful friends other than the Princess, Spike could not say.

"Spike, let's discuss this, just the two of us."

Taking Raven's actions to be surrender, Spike bore a smug grin upon his face as he climbed out of the trapdoor and followed Raven to a side meeting chamber that was filled with seven well-carved empty chairs and a stone table.

"Well," Raven said when the guards departed and the door had shut with a resounding thwack. "Out with it."

Spike considered. Raven had folded when confronted with his challenge. He hadn't realized getting his way could happen so easily. But, maybe the reversal in power was merely circumstantial. He'd still need to carefully select his words.

"Twilight decided the answer to a problem could be found deep beneath, in a restricted library."

"I've never heard of a--"

"It's been sealed for a thousand years."

Raven rolled her eyes. "Ridiculous. What have you done to the Princess, Spike?"

"Chancellor Spike."

"A Chancellor does not stoop to locking a valued aide into her room, placing a guard near her door, and denying her access to her Princess." Raven's words were soft, likely so as not to be heard by the guards who were almost certainly directly outside, but the words nevertheless bubbled with bile. Then, she dropped on the table the offending bit that had wedged her door.

Spike chuckled as the bit spun to a stop. "Heh-heh. That's how I feel every day."

"What?"

"You've been treating me like that. Locked me into a schedule over which I have no input. You don't give useful feedback, and you deny me access to my best friend--Twilight!"

Raven met Spike's sparkling eyes. Then, she snorted.

The two were silent for a while.

Raven broke first. "I. Was. Training. You." Punctuating her words, she met Spike's gaze again. "You returned my mentorship with hatred, a wedged maliciously polished bit that nearly blinded me, and you snatched away the Princess!"

Spike slowly shook his head.

Raven breathed deep, composing herself. "I have been training you in this... traditional way so you will grow into your job with greater strength."

Spike could keep silent about the depths of his annoyance with Raven's methods and not risk angering his 'teacher' out of a misplaced sense of politeness or fear. But he was the Chancellor. He shouldn't let himself be pushed around. Raven acted like the Chancellor she once had been, but she wasn't one anymore. "You want to make yourself indispensable to Twilight!" He accused.

Raven swallowed. "I'm helping Twi--the Princess while you're learning."

"This schedule is not very balanced. I get no time with Twilight."

"Once you complete--"

"The way you're structuring it with no explanations, no help: only criticism and blame--that doesn't work. I go into a meeting unbriefed on the personalities, with no words of encouragement. They bicker and I get the blame for their actions and for not knowing anything about them when you could have told me something! You've worked with them for decades!"

Raven's eyes moved away from Spike's, focusing up on the wall behind him. She pushed her glasses back tight against her wrinkled forehead.

"My book has the answers."

"You have decades of experience and you don't share it. You know that book's barely legible! You have better hoofwriting than that! You scrawled scratch on purpose!"

Raven hissed. "You have it all figured out. Ready to replace me?"

"It's my job!" Spike thrust his arms into the air.

"It is mine too!" Raven shook. Then she bucked the wall behind her, and winced after the collision. "This is my calling."

Spike blinked.

"If I don't do this, then I have nothing. I have much more to give."

"You're taking me away from my best friend!"

"It's just temporary." Raven was breathing hard.

"You admit it!" Spike grinned. "You're keeping me from Twilight."

"The Princess--she is your friend. You will always have her. She's not mine and she will never be. But I can help her and Equestria!"

Spike had learned a few things about friendship during his years with Princess Twilight, who had, before ruling all of Equestria, once served *merely* as the princess of friendship. So, he had a few questions.

"Raven...what do you do when you're not working?"

"I'm always working."

"When you take time off..."

"I'm thinking about work. Making Equestria better."

"But you have friends. What do you do with them?"

"...No."

Spike met her gaze. "How is that possible?"

"I served Princess Celestia for decades. There were always responsibilities, issues to resolve. I am integrally important to Equestria. Moreso than your friends." She glowered.

"You mean--"

"Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Starlight Glimmer, Sunburst, Ember of the Dragons, I could go on listing them and I know that if you wanted, you could crush me." Raven stomped a hoof. "But I'm more important. Without me there would be no Equestria. Think about that before you pull rank!"

"I--what?" Neither concept had even occurred to Spike.

"You're going to replace me," Raven insisted, "but I will not let Equestria suffer!"

"Then why not be more helpful?"

Raven stomped her hooves again.

"Okay," Spike considered. "You were trying to help?"

Raven snorted.

"You didn't do it in a very friendly way."

Raven closed her eyes and took a very deep breath.

Spike wasn't getting anywhere, so he considered a different angle, extending a kindness. "You have a lot of knowledge--"

"I was *her* student." Raven blinked.

"Really?"

Raven sat back on her haunches, tears forming at the edges of her eyelids.

"I was sent to Ponyville...decades before the Princess." Princess Twilight, with Spike by her side, had been sent to Ponyville by Princess Celestia for training, with orders to make friends. She had succeeded wildly, and with her friends stopped the return of the villainous Nightmare Moon.

"Princess Twilight made friends--I did not." Several tears fell.

"Oh."

"And when I returned, I was no longer *her* student, but she found a position for me. And I served. And watched other students fail. Until Princess Twilight--"

"But surely you had relationships?"

"No."

Spike's rival was shaking and staring at the table. Heart touched, Spike reached out a claw to her, across the table. She took it in a hoof and squeezed.

"And now Celestia's gone."

"And she didn't ask me to accompany her," Raven sniffled.

As he had so often hugged Twilight when she was feeling gloom, Spike walked over and embraced Raven. It wasn't like hugging Twilight. Raven stiffened and pushed him away. "No."

Silence again.

"Where is Twilight?" Raven repeated.

"As I said; in a forbidden dark library beneath Canterlot. We need to get her out."

"And we wasted time on...what?"

"Talking about friendship?"

Raven dramatically sighed. "I'll arrange something and--"

"What have you been doing while Twilight's been gone?" Spike asked a remarkably astute question.

"Covering for the Princess.... Few know of her absence."

"You didn't contact our friends?"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Your friends."

"Mine and Twilight. 'Our' friends."

"...The Element Bearers are off to places unknown...or at least far distant. Some are in Abyssina, others across the ocean, Zebrica, who knows where. Even if I sent pegasi after them--they wouldn't be back for days. Still, I nearly sent the flyers despite explicit Princess instructions that the Element Bearers were not to be disturbed."

"Twilight has other friends--" Spike started.

"Of course she does." Raven rolled her eyes.

Spike ignored that. "What about Starlight and Sunburst?"

Raven sighed. "I have covered for Princess Celestia hundreds of times without incident. Although I suspected something was amiss, it was reasonable to assume the Princess would, in time, return. I sent guards after her."

"You knew!" Spike accused. "When you said you didn't believe Twilight was beneath Canterlot--"

"I was testing whether you varied your tale." Raven wiped all remaining welled-liquid from her eyes. "You passed. Though I would rather that you had failed."

Spike frowned. "You really hate me."

"I will die if I leave this job."

"...It can't be that bad."

"... Of the guards who went beneath Canterlot, three have not returned. Those who *did* return bore ichor of the deep, with tales of giant arachnids, roaches, and silverfish. They were reporting when you surfaced.

"Ah," Spike nodded. "Makes sense."

"What of the missing three; what happened?"

"I have no idea." Spike shook his head. "I didn't encounter them. The paths are twisted. A rock expert could maybe drill down to Twilight but I think with the mist that maybe she's in a place that can't be reached except by magic. We need Starlight Glimmer who can magic past the wards. Princess Celestia didn't want anyone finding this library.

Raven took a deep breath. "Fine. Spike. You find Starlight. I will continue to cover for the Princess."

Spike considered her order. "I'm the Chancellor."

Raven met his gaze. "Yes. You are." She blinked. "Is this proposal acceptable, Chancellor?"

"...Yes," Spike nodded. "Yes, it is." Finding Starlight had always been part of his plan.

Raven strode to the door. "I will inform the guards and continue my arrangements. With luck, the sun will set on schedule and our moon will rise on another uneventful night."

Spike stared at the bit on the table that had wedged Raven's door, and their relationship. He took it back with a deep sigh.

Above the School of Friendship, Spike flew, searching for Headpony Starlight Glimmer, but he instead glimpsed the familiar orange draconic streak of Smolder, who drew even with him.

"Favor. Need it now," she barked.

"Wait--" Spike protested.

"You know how it works." Smolder slapped his right shoulder. "Come with me. Do the thing. Then we're even."

"No, no, no," Spike said, "I need to see Starlight. Then we'll do it."

"No can do." Smolder shook her head. "Favor needs doing now. You cost me my rest and most my day and I was sweaty and tired for my d-" she trailed off.

"Don't you like being sweaty?"

"Shut up." Smolder hit Spike. Then they were alighting on the green of the School of Friendship and Spike was rushing toward Starlight Glimmer's office. Smolder ran behind him. "You're not gonna outrun this favor you owe!"

Ponies trotting to their classes paused to watch the shrieking dragon and hustling Chancellor.

Knocking over only a couple of ponies, Spike arrived at Starlight Glimmer's office and thrust open its doors with a mighty heave. "Starlight!" He shouted, to an empty chair. A note was situated on it: "Inspecting classes; back later; have some candy". He saw the candy bowl, strode over to it and jammed a candy cane into his mouth. Angrily, he bit it in twain. He'd need the sugar high. The room was empty, save for its desk, candy, a number of plants, a weirdly placed group of rocks in a corner, him, and Smolder.

"You're gonna listen to me now." Smolder grabbed Spike's right wrist.

"I've gotta talk with Starlight about something very important. Life or death."

"It's always life or death with you ponies! Flower stems got bent--Oh the horror--the horror!" She made a mocking ponyish expression and accent. "Rabbits ate up some of your vegetables--it's the Worst! Possible! Thing! Ever!"

"Hey," Spike frowned. "Don't mock Rarity! And, she's never said that about vegetables. That's more something Roseluck's gang would be concerned about--"

The door opened behind them.

"Spike! Smolder!" The voice was not happy.

"Starlight!" Spike, yanking away from Smolder, rushed to greet her. Starlight magicked up a barrier between them. "You don't get hugs. You knocked over five, six, maybe more students--some of them exchange students. You don't have to sign the letters back to their homelands and their infirmary reports explaining the Royal Chancellor injured them at the Friendship School during an unfriendly display of aggression!"

"Uh," Spike commented, "it's an emergency."

Starlight worried her lower lip with a big bite, then tossed her head, punctuated by a groaning, powerless moan of "Urrrggghhhh!" Then, she zapped the weird stack of rocks.

"Talk about aggression!" Smolder grinned.

"It's safely channeled," Starlight growled. "I'm getting better. Not gonna bottle it up. Urrrrgggh!" She tensed, then smiled and brightened, turning back to business. "What's the emergency?"

"It's private." Spike looked at Smolder.

"Oh no." Smolder held up her claws. "You're not getting rid of me till you make good on that favor."

"This is not the time!"

Smolder raised an eyebrow. "But it was 'the time' when you woke me up early in the morning and had me do your Royal duties."

"What I have to say is a secret matter of state."

"What's that between 'friends'?" Smolder put an arm around Spike's shoulder. "Oh wait, you never graduated from the Friendship School, did you, Spike?"

"I didn't need--"

"Just tell me the emergency!" Starlight's unicorn horn shimmered with magic that surrounded Spike and her in a bubble of silence, shunting Smolder off Spike's shoulder.

"Twilight's in a forbidden library and she won't come out."

"Is that a joke?" Starlight looked about to laugh.

"No." Spike shook his head.

Starlight sighed, "I guess the recriminations about the children can wait. Where do you need me?"

"The capitol."

"I'll get Sunburst to clean up this mess and cover.... Unless we need him. You mentioned books."

"The... dark books are keeping Twilight there. Sunburst might be even more affected."

"And I'm illiterate?" Starlight challenged.

"Think about it. Compare your use of books to Twilight, Moondancer and Sunburst's love of them..."

"I suppose I use books like I used to use ponies; didn't love them." Starlight frowned, recalling her past where she had enslaved a village into following her every whim and teachings, before she had been seen the goodness of friendship and self-actualization preached by Princess Twilight,

"Books aren't ponies."

"Ha! Right you are!" Starlight forced a smile and popped the bubbles of silence; then she teleported away.

"Now can we go do that favor?" Smolder grabbed Spike by his shoulders. Spike grabbed her claws with his, to better shake off her grip.

"Let's go!" Starlight popped back, then teleported Spike and everything he was holding to the Canterlot Castle. Most unicorns could only pass ponies a few feet. Before becoming an alicorn, Twilight could teleport about a quarter of a mile, but Starlight Glimmer could teleport for miles upon miles. If she couldn't save Princess Twilight Sparkle from the dark tendrils, then nopony could.

Tendrils of darkness spread across the floor of the reception hall. Petitioners fled toward the far door. Near the throne, Raven Inkwell and several guard ponies were backed into a corner, tendrils grasping for their necks and legs. Spike, Starlight, and Smolder appeared in-between the groups, amid the trouble.

Starlight's horn pulsed with power that she channeled into zapping the dark tendrils, popping them into nothingness one after another until the room was clear.

The ponies at the room's far door clopped approval. One called out: "Where's the Princess?"

Raven and the guards could only wheeze and choke out tears. After wiping those away, Raven breathed hard and rubbed her neck, unable to immediately reply.

"Fighting the darkness!" Spike called out. "We're here to help. Evacuate the castle--in careful order. We're going to blast this darkness into light!"

The ponies clopped more approval and thanks. Then, in orderly military fashion, they left the hall.

"G-good work, Spike." Raven approached him. "Those ponies trusted you."

Spike blushed. "Just doing my job."

"Yes," Raven nodded.

"Yeah, but where's Twilight?" Starlight scanned the room. Glimpsing more tendrils emanating from behind the throne, she zapped those too.

Spike raced toward the darkness with a hearty call of: "This way!" Starlight, head down and determined, followed. Smoulder hesitated to follow, blinking and orienting herself among the usual pony chaos. Deadly black tendrils over here, orange juice stain...or blood over there, foreboding darkness that way. Something was seriously strange with how often world-ending never-before-seen terrors converged on Equestria. Maybe all that friendship ponies promoted kept some deep-seeded hatred bubble buried deep amid their environment? Maybe the false smiles and--whatever. She threw off that line of thought since she had to get going if she didn't want to lose her 'friend' whose smiles probably hadn't been false--she hoped. "Ponies," she rolled her eyes, shrugged, and tugged a foot--dislodging a tiny dark tendril that had been grasping at one of her claws, then hustled after.

"Spike!" Raven Inkwell joined them. "There's no sense in me covering right now. Let me come."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Twilight won't think less of you if you don't rescue her."

Raven pushed past him and into to the room with the trapdoor.

"Guards. Fall back and hold the door to the hall as long as possible." She related orders over her shoulder. "Fall back if the tendrils risk overwhelming you."

"Did you send for help?" Spike asked.

"Yes. Crystal Empire, Discord, Seaquestria, and more. Responses will take time."

"Always a disaster with you ponies," Smolder sighed. "'k Spike, after this thing, though, you're taking care of that favor."

"Sure. Sure!" Spike said. Starlight zapped a couple of black tendrils, clearing a path to the trapdoor. "But you don't need to come."

Smolder shook her head and spread her claws. "I sort of missed this pony-craziness back in the Dragon Lands. We just have our wrestling, belching, and tobogganing contests. Here, there's usually some world-ending disaster--fighting that gives more meaning to life."

Starlight blazed a way for the group, blasting through the illusions under Canterlot.

Then Starlight found three motionless guard ponies, bloated by the dark tendrils. After blasting away the darkness, she sat in horror, reflecting on a familiar complaint. "...I use books like I used to use ponies; no friendship."

"Don't dwell," Spike said. "That's long past--" Then he saw the dark tendrils dipping down from stalactites; one had descended onto Starlight's mane and crawled across her backside.

"Oh no." Starlight had been so focused on blasting, she hadn't summoned a protective bubble. And the blackness was engulfing her. On her haunches, she continued to weep. "I'm terrible. I--enslaved ponies and let Spike hit my students and cheated... Trixie and..." She was rambling. "I couldn't change... my heart is dark--like Nightmare Moon...."

"What can we do?" Spike mused.

Light glimmered from Raven Inkwell's horn and it zapped the blackness away from Starlight. Then, Raven fell. Spike caught her.

"I...don't think I can walk." She collapsed from the magical exertion. "I was...Celestia's student, but I wasn't as good as...Starlight or anypony."

"Don't say that!" Spike insisted. He tried to throw her over his shoulder. By angling her against some rocks and heaving with a strong shoulder, he managed it, more or less, but it was going to be difficult to walk.

"What?" Starlight shook her head and wiped tears from her eyes.

"You were touched by the blackness!" Smolder shouted.

"Oh!" Starlight jumped to her feet and covered herself with a bubble, then the others. "I should have had these up sooner." Then her gaze traveled to the fallen guards. "Oh no."

"We have to press on," Spike said. "We'll recover them later."

"Sure." Starlight took a step forward, then looked back at Raven, draped over Spike.

"Is Raven--"

"Yes," Spike nodded, preempting the question.

"What happened?"

"Her magic saved you."

"Oh," Starlight said. "We'll have to leave her."

"She's not dead!"

"I thought you were saying 'yes' she was dead." Starlight blinked. "Heh-heh. Ditzy me. How'd I ever become a Principal..." Sighing, she gathered the fainted Raven up in magic and levitated her in-step with the group.

"Starlight?" Spike asked, placing an open claw on her withers.

She spooked. "Sorry, I'm... mistakes worry me... Let's go."

It was good to have a powerful sorceress... even if she might have some sort of bizarre imposter complex and was losing touch with reality. All the powerful ones, like Twilight, seemed to be a bit unhinged. Or maybe that was just unicorns in general, Spike wondered. Then he shook his head. "Nah, probably not."

"What was that, Spike?" Starlight asked.

"Nothing!"

They reached the final door and a room of complete darkness that didn't stand up for long to the light explosions emanating from Starlight's horn. At the room's center, thankfully untouched by darkness or light, the Princess sat ensconced by a protective fuchsia magical bubble, her attention focused on an ancient book until the flashes of light caught her attention.

Blearily blinking, Twilight squinted at the new arrivals. "Oh, hello Starlight," she noted.

"Twilight! We need to get you out of here!" Starlight shouted.

"Soon. Soon," Twilight nodded. "I've nearly got it figured out."

"Got what figured out?" Starlight asked.

"The curse of the coinage. I can fix it."

"How?"

Twilight narrowed her eyes, focusing on Smolder, then on Starlight. "Friendship. We teach it in the school; we should practice it every day--on our change, our bits."

"We will place representatives of everycreature on the back of the coin and my image on the front. I realize it is a bit arrogant to place my visage there, but logic supports the action. It will bind the spell." Twilight paused. "Of course, while this may solve the problem of the dark side I am not entirely sure if the coin will still blind creatures like Celestia's visage has. And the committee wanted a vote, which could cause trouble...."

"Why vote?" Starlight asked. "I don't really understand what's going on about changing bits but it sounds like this has to be a "do it this way" sort of situation."

Twilight laughed, a nervous titter.

"This make sense to you, Spike, or is something going on?" Starlight motioned to her head with the universal dizzying gesture for 'is she crazy?'

Smolder spoke. "Yeah, don't kid yourself, Twilight. You sound like the Storm King--dictator stuff. Still," she guffawed. "It ain't wrong if it's right. Ember, our Dragon Lord, does it right, but that's for us. You ponies are weird."

"Now isn't really the time for debate," Starlight zapped a dark tendril, "but Twilight, I thought you said it wasn't a good idea for a single strong hoof to solve Equestria's problems?"

"It's just currency," Smolder shrugged.

"The idea could be refined." Spike spoke, then he addressed Starlight. "The currency is key. There's something wrong with it. You've heard of the blindings, the increased shine on Celestia's side?"

"Just rumors--" Starlight started.

"They're true! And the dark side--the back--it's connected with these tendrils." Spike pulled out the bit from his vest.

"How?"

"Oh!" Twilight brightened. "You've reached the same conclusion." She reached for Spike's bit. "And you even have some change--I must have it."

Spike watched her zap wisps of dark fog emanating from its backside, then she snatched the cleansed bit from his claw.

"Precious. Yes... I really should not depend on guard ponies carrying all my currency," Twilight muttered. "It will be easy now that I have this precious..."

"I thought the darkness was tied to the obvious evil of this forbidden library." Starlight declared.

"No, no, no. Books can never be evil." Twilight noted.

"Except that comic book--" Spike mused, reflecting on an evil book that had sucked him and his friends into it where they had to remain until they had re-enacted its deadly story.

"Does Raven know anything about this library?" Starlight asked, but no reply was forthcoming from the subject as Raven was drifting in and out of consciousness. Meanwhile, Starlight zapped more flourishing black tendrils.

"These freakish tendrils aren't coming from bits though, ponies; they're coming from the books." Starlight insisted.

"The one I passed to Twilight--" Spike had seen sinister stirrings.

"Why aren't we getting out of here?" Smolder complained. "Spike and me got a date to go on and it looks like you ponies've got whatever weirdness you're dealing with well-in-claw."

"This is serious." Starlight glared.

"Yeah." Spike added. "Black tendrils could destroy the world, reaching through our bits and you want me to go on a date?"

Smolder shrugged. "You ponies have a world-ending threat like every week and you always come out alive.... As long as you're not one of the royal guards, rest their souls." Smolder observed a moment of silence. "But really, unless you're one of those poor pony souls, your problem's resolved sometimes in thirty minutes tops. I didn't want to interrupt any decisions though. I just figured Spike didn't have a role here anymore since he doesn't have any of that jazzy magic. Starlight and Twilight, you'll work things out like usual, y'know."

"What?"

"I mean we're running out of time."

"For what?" Spike asked.

"For my date."

"I'm not going on a date with you."

"Yeah you are; you owe me a favor. I need a wingdragon."

"Oh," Spike noted. "You don't want me *as* a date."

"Yeah, I want you *for* a date. But you can't come alone. That'd just be awkward."

"Smolder." Spike grabbed her mouth, holding it shut. "Would you kindly wait?"

Smolder stood, shocked. Spike quickly removed his claw and Smolder puffed out some smoke, but she didn't say anything else.

Raven drifted back to more steady consciousness. "Twilight... Spike may have insight into the coinage."

Spike looked over in shock.

"You did complete a tour of the mint." Twilight noted. "And hosted the committee. What might they accept? We don't have time for a vote. I must bind the spell immediately or else these tendrils might crawl to Canterlot; according to these books, the corruption is centered here, deep beneath the mint. And it will disappear when the coinage is revised."

"But if coins were infected, then tendrils should be bursting out of all the currency in Canterlot--" Starlight mused.

"That may be starting." Spike recalled the fog emanating from the bit Twilight had grabbed from him. "...Let's trust Twilight. She's been reading the creepy books."

"Coinage infestation is coming!" Twilight added. "Chancellor. Headmare. You are both correct!"

"Okay... Chancellor Spike." Starlight raised an eyebrow.

Spike ran everyone through options the committee had raised.

Twilight chewed over Spike's words.

Smolder shifted from one leg to the other. Minutes passed. More tendrils were obliterated by Starlight's horn.

"Fine!" Smolder shouted. "Twilight's got things in claw, so Spike, since we can't leave--let's work out the details for tonight you know. After Twilight saves the world. You got a date in mind to accompany you while you're my wingdragon?"

"I don't have any friends who'd do that."

Smoulder blew a raspberry.

"I mean, really. Not Rarity, after the awkwardness. And she's not here."

Raven spoke up, weakly. "This is...distracting and stupid."

"I agree," Spike nodded.

Smolder placed her arms akimbo at her side. "This is about friendship! I helped you. And you're not helping me."

"I'm sorry," Spike said. "It's sort of a world-ending threat here--"

"It's like that all the time," Smolder said.

"Spike," Raven spoke again. "She's your friend?"

"Yeah," he said. "And Raven--you're recovering!"

"Yes," she sighed.

"Great." Smolder rolled her eyes.

"Spike," Raven continued. "I will recover from this magic exhaustion. There are energy concoctions. Upstairs."

"Good," Spike said.

"If you... if you truly need somepony to help you be a good friend for your friend here... I could go."

Spike did a double-take. "What?"

Smolder grinned. "Good. Good." A little smoke came out of her nostrils. "A Pony-Dragon wingdragon relationship; a good concept to reinforce."

Spike gaped at Smolder. "You're dating a pony!"

Smoulder shrugged "...Yeah. Why else would I be on a date in the Ponylands? I mean maybe I might have been taking a honeymoon among these exotic landscapes with less burned stuff and warm memories from the School of Friendship--" a weird lovesick grin plastered across her face. She shook out of it. "But... nope. Ugh. Not gonna talk about that."

Raven reached for Spike's claw. He placed it in her hoof and she whispered: "Friends?"

Meanwhile, Twilight glared at her bit and started to work the spell, detailing the prototype pictures. The cavern shuddered, dirt fell around the creatures, specks of which they could actually see since the fast-retreating darkness packed itself together, swirling in a whirling screen around Twilight until it shuddered and dispersed with a crack. Below, the coin spun, its facade bearing images of all types of ponies accompanied by dragons, yaks, hippogriffs, donkeys, and buffaloes crammed to its edges. The mint was going to have a Tartarus of a time re-working minting machines to manufacture that level of detail without it coming across as an unrecognizable smudge.

"And the back will have Celestia and Luna..." Raven asked.

"Support existed for that--" Spike noted.

"My visage... is required." Twilight said. "But combining it with others is good. And having Celestia and Luna will remind creatures of our history."

"Now that they've passed from the stage... like everypony must." Raven sighed.

Spike spoke up. "Raven. We won't force you to leave. There is so much to do."

Raven hugged Spike with her forelegs, tighter and tighter.

"How cute," Smolder teased. "A great couple."

"Smolder!" Spike shouted. "It's not romantic!"

Smolder rolled her eyes.

Twilight turned the coin to its dark side, and it shuddered, emanating somber, smoldering gray fumes. Holding her breath, she embraced the coin, close to her chest; her eyes watering. Moments later, her dripping tears splashed against the currency, then she held it up for inspection.

"Here." Twilight's voice cracked and she sent up a glimmer of light as far up on the ceiling as possible, above everycreature, who examined the slightly soggy bit.

Twilight's face resided in its center ringed by visages of mostly generic members of other species, but among them Celestia and Luna grinned, representing alicorns both light and dark.

The bit glimmered and shook until its bright facade faded and its dark back melted into light. Twilight turned the bit on its side. Artificial light fell on both parts of the bit: equally. And Twilight smiled.

Spike smiled too, first at Twilight, then back at Raven, while he squeezed her hoof in his claw, spiking it gently with his talons, accompanying the gesture with a nod.

"Friendship...." even bridged tension between rivals. Friendship would get them through changing leadership, aging, capacities, coinage... generations.

It's About "Princess Twilight Embracing The Dark Side" (And Raven Inkwell Gets Spiked)

by SparklingTwilight

Raven Inkwell Gets Spiked

Twilight Sparkle Confronts Celestia's Curse

The Dark Side Smolders