A changeling oc brings bad ocs to rehab. Whether she is also one is up for debate.
Winter, the changeling behind the cameras, is forcibly recruited by none other than the narrator to put Mary Sues in the Dysfunctional Oc Rehabilitation Center (dorc.)
A room. A dark room with a desk, a microphone and a screen with some half baked images skittering across, but not today. At the desk sat the narrator, a faceless being who is often tormented back by a certain meta- A door that was not there before exploded open, and should have busted the thing off the hinges, but it didn’t. The door was reinforced. A pale blue changeling with a white carapace was standing in the door, on their hind legs, and wielding a flamethrower. The narrator raises and eyebrow and gestures at a seat that wasn’t there before. That blue changeling, no longer wielding the flamethrower, sits in the seat with a questioning look. The narrator flings a folder at the changeling and they catch it in a hoof.
“What... Is this about?” The changeling inquires, looking at the red CLASSIFIED on the front. The narrator sighs.
“You dislike Mary Sues, do you not?” The narrator inquires back. The changeling opens the folder, and almost immediately gags. Inside was a list of long as heck weird names and badly drawn pictures that looked like someone drew over Celestia, except in red and black. “Your mission is to save some ponies from all this nonsense and get those Mary Sues to the Mary Sue rehabilitation center. They may have op nonsense like the alicorn amulet or the crystal heart but whence you defeat them or convince them to stop those items or extreme power will disappear because they were never real in the first place. Do you understand?” The changelings nods and, folder in hoof, walk out the door.
Winter, folder in hoof, teleports before a small town. She looks around and sees nothing off; ponies buying fruit from stands, talking in front of cafes, and doing everything else normal in this seemingly normal town. She takes a confused look at the folder, then to a sign next to herself, then back at the folder. Winter confusedly sits down and squints at the page in the folder. It contained a picture of a pink purple yellow white alicorn with a poofy rainbow mane and throwing cupcakes at a random sad looking bystander. She takes another look at the sign.
“Well, it seems I’m in the right place. Better look around to be sure.” The changeling closed the folder and took a step into the town. Almost instantly though, the alicorn she was looking for was all up in her face. Said alicorn had at least five elements of laughter on them and they had a smile that would give Pinkie Pie a run for her money.
“new pony i Am Happy Sprinkle Fun Rainbow Party The alicorn of fun And you are now Gonna have a Fun Time” The alicorn, they were actually the size of a normal pony, starts throwing cupcakes at Winter. Of course, with a flash of yellow magic, a barrier appeared between the insane alicorn and the blue changeling.
“What the heck! I’m not having fun!” Winter half shouted at the alicorn. Happy Sprinkle something or other stops the cupcake assault. They sit down, hooves on their face, and start bawling. The other ponies in the village all stop what they are doing and look at the crying alicorn and the changeling who was dissipating the yellow barrier and... start cheering like they just got saved from heck itself. Winter, however, walks up to the alicorn. “Why are you crying? I just said-“ Winter never got to finish. The alicorn, looking up at Winter with their mismatched rainbow and galaxy eyes sniffled.
“my parents was Luna And Discord and i got adopted because i was stolen because i Was Special and my parents made Me A Slave but I wanted to Have Fun and share Fun and I ran away here and i been sharing fun for as long as i remember and when you said you hated Fun i got sad and i was Sad so i cried i only wanted to share Fun.” The alicorn stood up and started tearing again.
Winter put a hoof on the Mary Sue’s shoulder and said “Look, I know a place where you can share lots of fun, and it just so happens I can take you there too. Wanna go?” The Mary Sue, taking the expected answer, bounces up in the air.
“yes i wanna Go please take me.” Winter looks at the townsfolk and nods. She then teleports the Mary Sue and herself to the rehab.
*one teleport later*
Winter and the alicorn step into the rehabilitation center. Winter looks for the reception... aha! They both walk to the reception desk and the pony behind it.
“Hey, I found one who just wants to share fun and have fun, please treat them nicely.” Winter gestures at Sprinkle something, who was no longer wearing the elements of laughter.
“All right, what’s your name?” Asks the warm grey pony with a smile.
“my name is Happy Sprinkle Fun Rainbow Party The Alicorn And-“
The receptionist places a hoof over the Mary Sue’s mouth and says “Hmm... That’s a long name! Why not try... Sprinkle Joy? That name sounds better. What do you think?” The alicorn nods and smiles.
“i like it Very much thank you Pony” The receptionist smiles some more and points to a door with a pink HAPPY sign on it.
“Go in there and you can have as much fun as you want!” The newly named Sprinkle Joy bounces through the door that says HAPPY on it with a happy smile on their face. Once the door closed, however, Winter faces the receptionist. “Getting that one was fast. Onto the next mission?” Asks the grey mare. Winter nods, and teleports away, once again with folder in hoof.
Winter teleports in front of, yet again, a village. This time however, there was a tall black and red alicorn with dragon wings in an uncharacteristicly dark alleyway. He glared at all ponies who passed him by. Winter could already tell this one won’t go to the rehab without a fight. She looked into the folder, and blinked at the name.
“Death Killer Burning Bloody Knife Fire?” Winter scoffed at the clearly edgy name. Of course, the Edgy Sue happened to look at her. He happened to hear her scoff. He lunged out of the alleyway yelling.
“FOR Sombra YAAAAAAAAAAAH.” The thestral alicorn cried as he crashed into Winter, crushing her little bug self into the cobblestone, or he would have if there even was a changeling there. Suddenly, the blue changeling was standing on top of the edgy dude, effectively pinning him to the ground. He looked up with his rainbow eyes and said, “you kill my Dad Sombra and now you try to kill me i kill you revenge because My parents died because of you i kill you now” Knife alicorn whips out a knife and tries to stab Winter. Winter dodges and hogties the alicorn with magic blocking chain. “Hah now you kill me but i the seventh element of harmony i am hate so now apple something and frens will go kill you now hahahahah. TWINLIGHT RARINESS APPLESAWCE FLUFFERNUTTER SPRINKLEPIE RAINBAND KILL EVIL BUG WHO KILL ME PARENT” ... but nobody came.
“Umm... who? I never killed anybody’s parents. Who did I kill?” Winter asks, as she readies a teleport. These townsfolk cheer just like the others. “On second thought never mind.”
*another teleport later*
Winter drags the edgy sue to the reception desk. The grey mare smiles at Winter. “Did this one give you much trouble?” The mare asked. They look at the hogtie. “That... answers that. Please untie him.” Winter undoes the hogtie and the alicorn jumps up, fuming.
“a evil changeling killed my parent and now another evil changeling kidnap me? Sombra dad Cadance mom help me.” The edgy Sue yells. The receptionist gives the alicorn a dirty look. This stops the yelling.
“What’s your name?” The receptionist asks with sudden cheerfulness.
“i got die anyways but it Death Killer Burning Bloody Knife Fire so there now kill me now i don’t care if you torture me though.” Raged the edgy boy.
“Hmm...” the receptionist taps a hoof on her chin thoughtfully. How about... Blazing Blade? Seems like a good name. Do you want it?”
The alicorn nods. “is a good name I want.” The receptionist nods.
“Well now, I need you to go in that door over there and maybe we can help you?” Asks the receptionist. The alicorn stalks edgily into a door with the word EDGY written on it. “How much are you getting paid for this?” Inquires the receptionist. Winter shrugs and teleports away with folder yet again in hoof.
Winter likes this location. Her next Mary Sue to find just so happened to be somewhere cold. She jumped into a snowdrift. Opening the folder, still in the snowdrift, she looks at the Mary Sue in this town. She put a hoof over her mouth as she looked at the winged, more colorful Rarity clone. Well, at least they won’t be edgy. Winter jumped out of the snow and took a step into the tow-
“What the heck.” The Mary Sue was frantically running to and bothering all the ponies in town who were trying ever so hard to put up decorations for some kind of holiday. Winter set a hoof in the town. Almost instantly, the alicorn Rarity explodes into Winter’s face.
“Hi you love me everyone loves me everything loves me if you don’t you die do you love me” babbled the Rarity clone. Winter pushed the white copycat away. She stood up and dusted herself off.
“Uh... no” Those words. Did the job. Suddenly, the pony sets on green fire and becomes a red Chrysalis with dragon wings and three horns and the elements of harmony all over them.
“YOU WILL LOVE MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!” Shrieks/war cries the now holey black bug horse. They cast a laser beam spell or something which blasts Winter into oblivion. All the townsfolk gasp. This has never- but then, the Copy Sue is lying on the ground in hoof cuffs. As the elements of copyright on the bug horse dissipate into thin air, Winter salutes the townsfolk and with a fanfare of a kazoo that wasn’t there before Winter and the Copy Sue are teleported away.
*yet another teleport later*
Winter leads the Copy Sue, who was back in the alicorn Rarity form, to the receptionist desk. “Hey, this one tried to kill me.” Winter commented.
“Heh” The grey mare snorted. “Don’t they all?” Winter shrugged. “So, can you tell me your name?” Asked the receptionist, with sudden. Cheerfulness. The Copy Sue looked up and transformed into a bug dragon horse. They hissed and screeched.
“EVERYONE MUST LOVE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL CHRYSSITY!!!” The changeling started muttering “love, love.” Under their breath. The receptionist looked at Winter.
“Humm, yes. A Copy Sue. Reminds me of Trixie. Should they be in the egotistic room or the copycat room...” the grey mare suddenly looks back up. “A creative name, yes, but how about... Crystal Trick? That sounds better than the alternative. You can go in that room.” The grey mare points at a door that said MIX on it. “Maybe you can get some love in there?” Winter un-cuffs the newly renamed changeling and the changeling makes a beeline for the door. Winter looks at the receptionist.
“Do you get paid to put up with those Mary Sue shenanigans?”
It was the grey mare’s turn to shrug. A few moments of silence later, Winter, folder in hoof, teleports away.
Winter teleported into the next town. There was no shock on her face as she looked at all the perfectly built perfectly clean and in perfect rows. She was expecting this, as the Mary Sue here was a Perfect Sue. The light glinting off the shiny cobble path was blinding. Yet again, though, it didn’t faze Winter, as snow and ice did the same thing. She saw, once again, an alicorn, sitting on a blindingly squeaky clean fountain edge. Another pony came up and sat on it, but with it being so clean, they slipped and splashed into the fountain. The alicorn, donning around twenty copies of the elements of kindness and generosity, helped the pony out of the fountain, with perfect choreography. Winter took a step into town, but surprisingly, the Mary Sue still sat at the fountain, never moving. Their now blank eyes stared into Winter’s soul. Winter walked up to the Perfect Sue.
“Hey what’s your name?” Winter asked, although knowing perfectly well what it was. The Copy Sue smiled that perfect smile, their pastel rainbow mane flowing in the wind.
“my naem Is Rainbow Happy Perfect Pastel Perfect Lemon And you Will be my Friend forever and Ever be my friend.” They droned in a perfect pitched but flat voice. Winter smiled at herself, almost seeing the reaction in her mind.
“No,” Winter said calmly. “I don’t think I will.” The alicorn stood on their hind legs and the crystal heart appeared in a necklace on their neck. They screeched so loud it shattered a few windows, yet their voice was still flat.
“MY MOM CELESTIA MY DAD SOMBRA AND I WAS KIDNAP BECAUSE I WAS SPECIAL AND TOO PERFECT AND MY PARENT WAS IN A CAR CRASH AND DIED AND I SAVED EQUESTRIA FROM ALL TEH BAD GUY AND I CAME HERE TO SHARE PERFECT AND EVERYONE LOVE ME BECAUSE I PERFECT AN SPECIAL AND YOU SAID YOU HATE ME FOR NO REASON SO YOU DIE N-“ before the raging pale yellow alicorn could finish however, Winter had pushed them into the fountain. It was hilarious. The look on the alicorn’s face. Winter barely concealed a laugh, and she reached a hoof out to the Perfect Sue. With seemingly practiced perfect choreography, once again, Winter helped Happy Perfect something of other out of the water. “people No respects me because i So Perfect And you all Hate me my parent dies in a car crash and you laugh at Meh.” Same flat voice. Winter looks into the Perfect Sue’s cold, dead eyes.
“Maybe I can bring you to place where ponies will respect you?” Winter asked. The alicorn smiled at her, and Winter teleports them both to the rehab to the sounds of cheering townsfolk and dissipating elements.
*one teleport later*
Winter and the Perfect Sue are teleported directly in front of the reception desk. The grey mare smiled warmly. “How’s the best Sue hunter this side of the badlands?” The receptionist asked. The grey mare looked at the Perfect Sue. “What’s your name?”
“my naem Is Rainbow Happy Perfect Pastel Perfect Lemon And you All will be mine fren.” The alicorn stated in that monotone voice of theirs. The receptionist tapped a hoof on her chin for a minute.
“What’s with Mary Sues and long, over the top names?” Winter shrugged. “Well, how about... Lemon Fresh? That’s a good name.” The Perfect Sue smiled.
“the naem is perfect” they state flatly with a smile. The grey mare pointed to a door with the word PERFECT scrawled neatly on it.
“You go in that door and you can go be perfect some more.” The alicorn nods perfectly, and they walk perfectly through the door. Once the alicorn was out of earshot, the receptionist looks back at Winter. “Ya know, if they liked rocks, Her and Maud would make much good friends.” Winter nods. She opens the folder in her hoof and gasps.
“This next pony will be in Ponyville. Any words?” Winters asks the grey mare. The mare thought for awhile.
“Keep away from the Mane Six.” The receptionist states flatly. Winter nods. This next one is going to be bothersome.
Winter appeared on top of a certain apple pony’s barn roof. She sat down and opened the folder to the page with a black and red rainbow maned thestral alicorn stallion. This stallion... “He reminds me of Blueblood...” Winter had not meant to have said that out loud. She smacked a hoof over her mouth and readied a teleport, but the voice of a certain farm filly stopped her.
“Who in tarnation was that?” Came the young voice. It was Apple Bloom. Well, at least it wasn’t Applejack. Then a raspy voice came.
“If it’s a monster, Rainbow Dash will pound them!” Scootaloo. Winter had stumbled into the CMCs. As Winter internally debated on showing herself or teleporting away, another voice came. Clear as a bell, it said,
“Look! There’s somepony on the roof!” Sweetie Bell had revealed Winter’s hiding place. Ah, well. Winter half slides half glides off the roof and lands on the side. Unfortunately for her, she lands on a rake and gets hit hard square in the face. Rakes. She hates rakes. Winter falls on the ground sideways. She pushes away the rake.
“Must... not fall... unconscious...” Winter blinks up at the fillies who were suddenly surrounding her. “H...hi. Please go away.” This was kinda rude, but Winter didn’t need unwanted attention. After all, best not reveal herself to the mane six too early. There must be a few more books before that. It is too early.
“Are...” Apple Bloom started.
“You okay?” Scootaloo finished. Winter looked up at the CMCs.
“Sure, I just got beat by a rake after dropping around fifteen feet sure I’m fine.” Winter stated sarcastically as she stands up, rubbing her face.
“Do either of you notice she’s a changeling?” Sweetie Bell said at the two other fillies. They suddenly notice it as well.
“You’re right...” Scootaloo says to herself. Winter stops rubbing her face.
“Welp, best be going. Mary Sues won’t reform themselves.” Winter said as she teleported away. The CMCs looked at each other.
“We may have our cutie marks already, but...” Apple Bloom said. “Cutie Mark Crusader Mary Sue hunters?” The others smiled.
“Cutie Mark Crusader Mary Sue hunters!” The fillies cheered.
Meanwhile...
Winter teleports behind Sugarcube Corner. That was close, and she could not afford to be found. She didn’t belong here after all. Then, it dawned on her. Pinkie Pie is in Sugarcube Corner. Just before Winter could teleport away however, said party pony was already behind her.
“Hi!” Cried the peppy pony. “Are you new here, cause I know everypony here, and if you are gonna live here I gotta throw you a party! Are you moving here? Wait, do you know Chrysalis because you’re a changeling, and changelings know their big bad ex queen, and-“ before Pinkie could derail the conversation any further however, there was a pale blue hoof over her mouth.
“No, I’m looking for a black, red, and rainbow winged Blueblood. Have you seen one?” Pinkie tapped a hoof to her face.
“I think when I welcomed them to Ponyville they got down and said ‘doeth you not remembereth me, my love?” And then I walked away because I don’t! Then they said they are the son of Celestia and that they would crash with one of his other five wives, so I ignored him!” Winter nodded.
“Good job, do you-“ Winter got interrupted by the pink pony leaping forwards, shoving them both forwards.
“TWITCHY TAIL!” Pinkie cried.
The alicorn stallion lands with a crash where the two peeps were once standing.
“Hello.” He said as the chapter ends with a cliff hanger.
Winter and the Gary Stu engaged in a small staring contest. The alicorn looked unnerved, as to changeling eyes seem to have no pupils, and also due to the fact that Winter was hitting him with a death stare. The Gary Stu broke eye contact and rubbed his eyes. “You hath the mightiest of eyes.” Remarked the alicorn, “But can you do this?!” He shouted at her... Oh right Pinkie is here too. Pinkie started to bounce away as the Gary Stu started monologuing, but Winter stopped her.
It seemed Winter was about to say something, until the alicorn blasted Winter and Pinkie into the ground. Pinkie just popped back up immediately, but Winter just sat in the hole. She looked at the competent neon and black thestral alicorn. “Aw heck.” Winter said to herself. Winter looked up at the Gary Stu. “This thing is competent.” The Gary Stu looked down at her with a smug and triumphant face, as if he had actually beat a protagonist in a single blow. Winter smiled at said smug face. “Too bad I’m the protagonist.”
Winter teleportes next to the alicorn and bucks him into the air. She then teleports in front of him and does a 360 roundhouse kick to his chest blasting him far to the right. Finally, she teleports and blasts him with a red beam from above sending the Gary Stu hurtling to the ground. Since these cruddy characters never actually fly, this was rather easy. The alicorn lay unconscious in a crater on the ground and blood trickling from a vaguely paw shaped imprint on his chest. Winter looks at Pinkie who saw the whole hecking thing. Winter facehoofs at her own stupidity.
“What. Was. THAT!” Pinkie screeched. She bounced around Winter. “You know what, better question! Are you. An oc?” Pinkie asked. Winter recoiled in horror, then sighed.
“Right. Forgot Pinkie was meta. Yes, I’m an oc. I’m on a mission to save some ponies and stuff from Mary Sues like this dude.” Winter lightly kicked the Gary Stu. “I’m sending these bad ocs to a rehab and... well the rest of that sentence will be answered in another chapter. I gotta get this guy to said rehab before he wakes up. See yah later, Pinkie.” Winter salutes to her fellow self aware and with that Winter teleported away with the unconscious alicorn to the rehab.
Pinkie stood there for a while. “I wonder how long it will take her to realize this chapter is too short right now and she just released a bunch of unfamiliar magic for Twilight to go nuts over? Ehh.” Pinkie shrugged. ”Lah lala lala!” Pinkie hummed to herself as she bounced away.
*one teleport later*
Winter dragged the alicorn to the desk. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Winter looked around. Something... Something... A small sniffle came from far away. Winter peered around a corner. There, a cleaning closet! Winter walked up to the door and gave it a small knock. Another sniffle, and a familiar female voice. “G-go away! I’m being depressed in here right now!” It was... the receptionist? Winter pushed open the door. There, was the grey mare, curled up on the floor. They had tears running from their dull brown eyes, and their usually neat grey mane was frazzled and tear stained. Winter put a hoof over her mouth and her face creased in worry. She bent down and put a hoof on the depressed grey pony’s shoulder. Suddenly, a mop fell over and Winter leaped up out of the way, dropping the folder in the process. The folder fell open to a tab labeled in a boring color saying ANTI SUES. The page it was on... showed the very receptionist who had been in all the previous chapters.
Winter looked at the folder, then back to the receptionist. “I... I had no idea.” Winter said quietly. The receptionist sniffed and sat up.
“I was the first Anti Sue to be reformed. It... failed... Have I told you where the Mary Sues go?” Winter shook her head. “Well, it’s gonna be a long story. You might want to sit down.“ Winter teleports some little blue cushions for her and the grey mare. They sat down. “The receptionists of the past, present, and future give the Mary Sue a normal name. They take that normal name and are slowly but surely transformed from crazy black and rainbow overpowered alicorns into normal ponies that seem and look close enough to their name. Each door has a room where a specially taught pony or even a previous Sue helps the new Sues. They become normal ponies and then go to live as normal as a life can be on Equus.”
“Question. How do you take off their wings and horns and stuff? Do you dye their coats? What about their height?” Winter questioned.
“Umm... no. Something happens that is too meta for me to understand. A glowing light happens when it seems to be perfectly right and there lies a normal... The word.. Oc. Take Lemon Fresh for example. Come on. It should be happening right now.” The receptionist and Winter stand up and leave the closet. They walk through a hidden door into a room with a large one way window. Through the window they see a pony and an alicorn talking. Suddenly, a bright light appears! In the light, there was a small window to a white room. A white hoof boops the alicorn who’s eyes were scrunched shut due to bright light. Of course, you readers can see this because you are reading this. The alicorn starts glowing after the boop, and the white hoof recedes through the small window and the window fades out of existence. A shimmering light not unlike a changeling reforming surrounds the now floating alicorn who started shrinking. The wings on the alicorn shrunk into actual proportions and the horn disappeared completely. A normal sized off-white Pegasus with a yellow and yellow-green mane rested on the ground, asleep. The receptionist looks back at Winter. “The pony is unable to remember any of their time here or as a Mary Sue. They just... follow their cutie mark if they end up being a pony and move to a town that makes the most sense for them...” Winter has just noticed the sad lack of mark on the grey mare.
“You never got yours. You had to stay here.” Winter concluded. The receptionist nods.
“I’m kinda stuck as a blank flank, but it’s ok. It’s nice here.” The two peeps walk back to the desk where the unconscious alicorn lay still sleeping next to the desk. Winter looked at the grey mare who was now sitting behind the desk. “I’ll just wait til he wakes up.”
“Never caught your name. What was it?” Winter asked. The grey mare smiled, and shook her head.
“I don’t have one. Nobody really needs a name though, it’s just a label.” The grey mare smiled. Winter tapped her chin thoughtfully.
“Why don’t we ask some readers...?” Winter asked whilst breaking the fourth wall.
Outside the rehab building was Winter. She glared at the folder in angry confusion. On the paper she was looking at was a picture of herself. Above the image was a label: SELF INSERT LEVEL MARY SUE- APPROACH WITH CAUTION. “This must be some kind of cruel joke. I’m a mary sue?”
“Yep.” Winter whipped around to face a white colored pony that could have quite possibly been in the last chapter. The pony was completely pale, without even a face, mane, or cutie mark. It was frightening, in a way.
“Who- What are you?” Winter said as she gazed at it.
“Yes.” The thing said. Winter stared blankly. “Let’s cut this short. I have something very important to tell you.” The blank pony walked toward Winter... and slapped her across the face.
“Hey! That was very uncalled for!” Winter rubbed at her face.
“That was from Sir Narrator. This is from me.” The pale pony readied another slap, but stopped before it landed a blow and instead booped the blue changeling. A swirl of blue light engulfed Winter. A sudden gust of wind blew about the area, scattering leaves and rustling the pages of the folder on the bench, revealing a picture of an alicorn filly. “Now go find the mary sue actually meant for this chapter.”
And with that, it was gone.
Winter was back in Ponyville, walking with her snoot in the folder. She had a thinly veiled look of disgust on her face.
“I don’t suppose I could like... not? just barge into the ponyville orphanage? I don’t want to be labeled as a weirdo of some sort.” Winter continued to read the file, unaware of where she was walking. Suddenly, she bumped into another pony. The paper with the information on the sue she was hunting slipped out of the folder and and fell in front of the other pony.
“I am so sorry, dahling! I didn’t see you there! Let me help you.”
“N- no, thanks! I don’t need any help! I’m fine!” Oh no. One of the mane six. This wasn’t supposed to happen yet. This is very bad.
Rarity picks up the paper in her magic and notices the picture of the filly on the front. “Oh my. The is new kid at Cheerily’s schoolhouse. Sweetie tells me she’s a very strange filly. What are you doing with a picture of her?” Winter takes the paper back.
“I’m uh...” This was going very badly. “I’m a friend of her parents! Yeah, that.” Winter attempted not to look nervous. At least she wasn’t talking to Applejack.
“Really? I heard the poor dear’s parents left her up for adoption then died in a car crash.” Rarity paused. “What even is a car?”
“i’mnotsurethanksforthetalkmaybei’llseeyoulaterhaveanicedaybye“ Winter’s horn lit up and she teleported away. Maybe she could visit the schoolhouse and find the filly there?
Winter appeared on a hill overlooking the schoolhouse. She fell over and wiped her forehead with a hoof. “That... was a close one. I really should be more careful and watch where I’m going.”
“Who are you?” A snobby blue unicorn scoffed. Winter stands up, not paying any attention to Trixie. “Rude. Trixie honestly expected more from one of the masters of disguise themselves, with skills almost as great as my own, a changeling. Trixie guesses none of you are as great and powerful as Trixie’s bestest friend Thorax.”
Winter picks up a pinecone and shoves it into Trixie’s mouth. Seeing the alicorn filly at the playground behind the schoolhouse, she trots down the hill towards said playground.
Gemstone Cosmos has had it. She fluttered her multicolor wings angrily as her horn sparked with rainbow energy. “I have HAD it with you, Diamond Tiara bully. I figure out YOU were the one who made my parents crash the car, and even though they they left me up for adopted, i still love them and i will avenge them!” Her silky fur gleamed in the glorious sunlight (all hail the sun) and her beautiful amethyst orbs of eyes glowed with hidden special powerful magic.
Diamond turned away from talking with Silver Spoon. “Are... You talking to me?”
Orange chicken leaned over to Applebloom and whispered, “What’s a car?” Applebloom shrugged.
“I will show you what true pain feels like.” Gemstone Cosmos started hovering without using her beautiful tricolor wings and her rainbow mane started flowing in the wind. Magic of all colors of the rainbow started to envelop her and her cutie mark of the sun, stars, and moon started glowing. Everyone on the playground stopped doing stuff and stared.
Just then, Winter walked up to the hovering light show. She licked her hoof and touched it to Gemstone Cosmos’s horn, cutting of her magic and causing the filly to fall to the ground. With the light show canceled, everyone went back to normal doing normal pony things during normal pony recess. Gemstone stood up in confusion.
“Wha..? but... This is impossible! I am the strongest alicorn on all of equus and the lost princess and the new seventh element of harmony and the child of Twilight and Discord and-“ Winter put a hoof over Gemstone’s mouth.
“Shush.” Winter teleported away, taking Gemstone with her.
Sweetie Belle looked at her friends, Applebloom and Orange Chicken. “Cutie Mark Crusader Mary Sue Hunters?” Applebloom and Orange Chicken nodded.
Winter looked down at her hoof. Something felt off. Different. Wrong even. The world around her had taken to a differing quality, and it felt like two years had passed in a blink. This wasn’t normal, had the narrator done something while she wasn’t paying attention? She charged her horn with magic, and with a small flash of the stuff, teleported to the very office her adventure began.
Winter appeared in the narrator’s office. Nothing felt different, but the man was nowhere to be seen. It was rather dark, and surprisingly warm. She decided she wanted to leave as soon as possible.
“Hello? Narrator? Did you do this?” …No response. She walked behind the lone desk and looked under it, because maybe he would be under there for some reason. There was no such luck however. Only a small trash bin filled with crumpled paper and the emergency buttons on the underside of the desk.
“what are you doing in my office?” Winter jumped when she heard a decidedly not Narrator voice. She whipped around to find- a. Normal pony? Said pony was a slightly chubby white pegasus with a pink mane, and was wearing a simple black scarf. Her wings were covering her cutie mark, so Winter couldn’t really tell any more about her.
“Your office? Wh- This is the narrator’s office! Why would he give you his office?” Winter was confused. A normal pony! Where has she come from? Winter had thought this organization was normal pony free! Scratch that, there were some helping rehabilitate the mary sues. But then, why would a helper pony now supposedly own the narrator’s office. Winter took a defensive stance. “Who are you and what did you do to the narrator?” The other pony smiled wider than a pony ought to smile. It was then Winter realized this… ‘pony’ was speaking without moving her mouth.
“first question: you can call me star. second question: maybe you should go find him?” Winter looked at Star in horror. Star simply laughed. “the look on your face is priceless. actually, the narrator has his own office now, since this one was for whoever was running the story, and it wasn’t accurate for the narrator to be in the writer’s room.”
A look of fear and disgust shot across Winter’s face. Someone claiming to be the author. This was one of the most dangerous types of mary sues. She- She had to call lockdown or something! This could either be a highly delusional individual or a matter of national Equus security! She quickly pressed the ‘emergency lockdown’ button that was hidden under the desk and waited for the blaring red alarms. Nothing came, however. Winter frantically pressed the button repeatedly and looked up at Star.
“Why isn’t this working-!”
“well, probably because i disabled it” Star said matter-of-factly. “my existence changes nothing, though i would highly recommend getting out. i know you have a debilitating weakness of heat, wrote it myself, and i cranked the ac on max warmth for your arrival.” Sure enough, the room was getting unbearably warm. Winter felt like she was melting. She struggled on her hooves for a second, not wanting to go any closer to the white mare, yet unable to access enough magic due to the extreme heat. After a second of panic, she dashed past Star and out of the uncomfortably warm room.
Winter made it into the nicely cool air conditioned hallway as the door closed shut behind her. She breathed a sigh of relief, and turned to look back at the door. On the wall next to the door was one of those plaque things with a name on it. It read ‘Writer Stardust”. Winter shook her head and walked down the hallway to the front desk. There was the grey pony, as always, sitting on the chair. She turned and noticed Winter coming towards her.
“Hello Winter! What brings you here?” The grey pony asked. “I um… Have a question about our leadership?” “Go ahead!” “When did the narrator get swapped out for some creepy white pegasus?” Winter looked back down the hallway. “You mean Miss Stardust? She’s always been here.” The grey mare turned her head quizzically. “Don’t you remember her teleporting you into her office and assigning you to mary sue hunting?”
Winter froze. This concerned her greatly. The odd feeling of earlier must have been a retcon, and she hadn’t noticed it was a retcon. Should she play along or explain everything? Winter decided on the latter. Winter took a deep breath.
“It may be hard to explain this, but our universe just got retconned. I teleported into what I assumed to be the narrator’s office to find Star taking ownership of the narrative. I tried to call an emergency lockdown but it failed, and I think she could be the strongest mary sue we’ve encountered yet.”
The color, or lack thereof, drained from the grey mare’s face. “W-What are we going to do about this?”
“I don’t know. We should just wait and see if her intentions are to ruin this world or to just exist peacefully. I suppose I’ll continue my job like nothing happened?”
“T-That sounds like our best bet, um, good luck Winter!”
Winter nods and starts heading out, but notices something new on the reception desk.
“Mute Air?” The grey mare perks up.
“That’s my name! I got a name! Do you like it?” Mute smiles a real smile.
“It’s sorta sad, but it suits you.” Winter smiles back. It seems today won’t all be a horrible mess.
