A young colt lives in the Everfree forest. Naturally the Mane six want to save him and get him back to his designated mare!...but what if he didn't need saving? The mane 6 are in for a nasty surprise!
A young colt lives in the Everfree forest. Naturally the Mane six want to save him and get him back to his designated mare!...but what if he didn't need saving? The mane 6 are in for a nasty surprise! STICK IT TO THE MARE!
Nightmare Moon laughed, those foolish mares might've beaten her trials! Now they were walking right into her trap! Soon they and the elements of harmony would be vanquished AND HER NIGHT WOULD RULE FOREVER!
And then she felt it...the familiar feeling of someone asleep...and nearby?
Nightmare Moon frowned at that, they were in the middle of the Everfree forest...who could possibly be asleep?
Curious and seeing she still had time before those mares showed up, she investigated.
To her surprise she found a little blue colt sound asleep in the old library. several books scattered around him, clearly he'd been reading them.
Nightmare Moon scratched her head with a hoof confused, "How on earth did this little colt get out here all by himself? Clearly his family's designated mare has been negligent!" She snorted that last bit with disgust.
She then shrugs, "Well, whatever. I'll take him home after I'm done here. And as long as she forsakes Celestia and swears allegiance to me I'll let her off with just a warning."
She thinks to herself, "Hmmm...I still have some time, I should probably go inside his dream and see if I can find some clue where his home actually is."
And with that she attempts to open a door into his dream realm and go through it-
ZAP!
Nightmare Moon screamed! all of the darkness within Luna was forcibly sucked out of her and into one of the books surrounding the colt.
Dipper Pines 'woke' up with a smile, "Worked like a charm." He opens up the fake book he had beside him to reveal a dream catcher of his own design which now contained the essence of Nightmare Moon.
"Sweet! This'll be useful! Better scram before Celestia or anyone else shows up...but first..."
A woozy Luna slowly woke up and saw the little colt walk up to her, "Well, hello there little one! Thank you for restoring me! Did your family's designated Mare help you put this together? If so, I want to say thank-
A now somewhat annoyed Dipper slapped a collar on her neck, Luna's eye's widen in disbelief.
"Wha- What is this?" Asked the Alicorn Princess confused. "Oh, just some assurance that you won't ever become Nightmare Moon again...if you do, it'll blow up killing you. Oh, and FYI. I have no designated Mare, this was ALL me."
"WHAT!?" Screamed Luna in panic, But Dipper had already jumped out a nearby window. Luna, still weak from her 'exorcism' took awhile to get to the window, she quickly saw it was facing toward Ponyville.
"He must've headed back into town!" Exclaimed Luna as she stumbled her way out of the castle and desperately tried to navigate the forest in her weakened state...
...it never occurred to her that the little colt would head AWAY from civilization and FURTHER into the Everfree Forest.
Dipper watched all this from his hidey-hole, and smirked as he headed back to his 'home'.
...
Meanwhile the mane 6...were at a loss to what to do...after much trial and error(or just gathering in a circle and getting to know each other better to releave their boredom) Twilight was eventually able to figure out how to activate the elements and bring about the sixth element- HER element...but now...now they had no idea what to do next.
...they'd sorta just assumed that when they got the elements Nightmare Moon would simply appear and attack them...But they'd been her for hours...and nothing...kind of a letdown really...
Princess Celestia would be equally confused when she finally showed up. "Why hasn't Luna attacked? She obviously set up tricks and traps to ensnare them in the forest, so she had to be nearby...this doesn't make any sense!"
It is then she gets a message about a confused alicorn stumbling out of the forest, claiming to be her sister...and that she was wearing a BOMB!?
Frantically Celestia teleported herself and the Mane 6 to her location.
After a still panicky Luna explains what happened, Celestia tries to get the collar off...only to find it impossible to remove! Even for her!
Applejack scowls, "What kind of mare would force a little colt to do something so dangerous?!" She snapped angrily.
Twilight frowned, "Wait, I thought he said that he did it himself-
"Oh, come now dear. Little foals are always exaggerating things like that, best pay it no mind." Said Rarity dismissively.
Watching from afar...Dipper was annoyed by the dismissal...except for the purple one...she was the only one who didn't seem completely sold on a Mare being behind him...
"Well...one mare thinking higher of me is a step up I guess." Admitted Dipper with a sigh as he walks back into Everfree...
...
It had been a week or so since Twilight had moved to Ponyville to be around her new friends, still no word on the whereabouts of the little colt that slapped that seemingly unmovable collar on Princess Luna's neck.
...although Twilight couldn't help but feel this might be because the police were more focused on finding the colt's 'designated mare' rather than the actual colt...now although Twilight was reluctant to just take a little colt on his word alone...she also couldn't help but feel that just outright dismissing him wasn't the way to go either...
But Princess Celestia told her to just focus on her friendship lessons, so she supposed that would just have to be a conundrum for another day...
But TODAY the only conundrum she wanted to solve was the mystery of how many apples she could help Applejack buck! YAAY!
COUGH!
Twilight looked over concerned as Spike came down with a nasty cough, sparks flying everywhere. "Spike?! You okay? What's wrong?"
Spike gagged, "COUGH! -Celestia- WHEEZE! -Message- RETCH! -Coming in rough!" And Spike retched out a...chair and alchemist tools?
Twilight looked at this confused, "What the- Why would Celestia send me this?" She said outloud.
However Spike being in rough shape took priority. She rushed him to the hospital and in her concern, completely forgot about what happened and went about her day...
...Meanwhile...
Dipper looked confused, one moment he was tinkering with some ancient dragon bones...the next it temporarily gets engulfed in flames, his chair and several tools got sucked up...and now he had two gala tickets?
Dipper shrugged and eagerly picked up the tickets, "Alright, I know some people who could get me a couple thousand bits for each of these bad boys..."
...
Celestia frowned, "I don't understand...Twilight should have sent a letter complaining about how few tickets I sent by now..." After the day ends and still no word, Celestia doesn't have anymore time to spare on this, she had a country to run and a sister to DE-bomb after all!
Writing off the friendship lesson as a loss she just sends another 5 tickets and goes about her day...
Twilight would never receive them...
But a blue colt in the Everfree would...as would anything else that goes through Spike...
...III…...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my Patreon account.
Things more or less went by at a normal pace in Ponyville. Twilight experienced the ups and downs of friendship...but her life had more or less gone into a steady rhythm...
A rhythm that would soon be disrupted rather abruptly...
The trouble would start after the whole Zecora... 'misunderstanding'. Twilight was rather ashamed of how she'd misjudged the nice Zebra. So among other things she was in her hut getting to know her better...
"I must say Zecora, I don't know how you can stay in a place as unnatural as Everfree. I could never do it, you must be very brave!" Exclaimed Twilight complimentary.
Zecora smiled, "Lack of will is not what you lacked, was it not Nightmare moons snout that you once whacked?" She rhymed happily.
Twilight smiled, "Oh, I could never have done that without my friends!" She briefly considered mentioning that blue colt as well...but Celestia had asked her to leave that part out until they knew more about who he was and why he did what he did...
Zecora again smiles, "Your modesty becomes you, something I wish a certain blue colt would emulate. But I-
"Wait, blue colt? Where?" Interrupts Twilight quickly.
Zecora smiles, "A most amusing and stubborn foal my neighbor in the Everfree is, many of the things he says and dose leaves my all a tiz."
Twilight gaped in horror, "There's a COLT living in the Everfree?!"
Zecora just shrugs, "Yes, but do not worry unicorn of Purple, he is quite clever and-
But Twilight ran out of the hut before she could finish that rhyme...she needed to get the girls fast!
...
"Alright, so Zecora made it sound like he was close by...so let's focus on the area around her hut first..." Said Twilight as she led the group forward.
"I can't believe Zecora knew about a young colt living in the Everfree but did nothing about it!" Exclaimed Rarity.
Twilight nodded, every mare learns as a filly that most colts can't take care of themselves. This wasn't unfounded racism like with Zecora, there was a reason why mares outnumbered stallions...it's because most of the stallions kept getting themselves killed!
In fairness, there were some exceptions...the likes of Fancy pants, Filthy Rich, her brother and Big Mac came to mind. But most colts were incapable of surviving on their own! and this didn't get much better for most of them as they grew up.
'Expendable background characters,' as Pinkie Pie would enigmatically refer to them in a sadly resigned way.
As a result, every family had a 'designated mare'. A mare that's acknowledged by the law as the person who has 'power of attorney' over all other family members(especially the colts and stallions)...
In addition to that, most colts were paired up to a filly at a young age to make sure said colt didn't get himself killed.
Twilight had had no time for such 'silly things' as a young foal and had focused exclusively on her studies...still, she understood the importance of the whole system.
They figured this would be easy...but several hours went by with no sign...then Fluttershy asked around and a mouse told her that a blue colt lived in a fort within walking distance of the west side of Zecora's hut.
Rainbow Dash was skeptical of this as she'd done aerial reconnaissance all over that area and hadn't seen any buildings, nevermind a fort.
But using the mouses instructions...they find the fort...
"Wow, he painted it to look like the surrounding area and added foliage to it so even Pegasus couldn't find it. Very clever." Admitted Twilight impressed.
"I don't care how clever his designated mare is, I'm going to give her a firm talking to raising a colt in this horrid place!" Shouts Rarity indignantly!
Twilight frowns at that statement but says nothing, she just looks ahead as she and her friends step forward to the fort-
CRACK!
GAH!
The girls turn to see Rarity scream in pain, her white fur now stained in-
"BLOOD!?" Screamed everypony else in horror. Indeed, A very well hidden bear-trap had snapped Rarity's leg clean off. blood everywhere.
Hero's they maybe...but like most ponies they were ordinarily rather insulated from such morbid things-
RETCH!
So naturally they're first instinct was to vomit...Rainbow Dash and Applejack actually fainted. A queasy Twilight tried to fight her nausea and head to Rarity to heal her-
click
And that's when she snagged the trip wire-
FWOOM!
Weird nozzles popped down from the trees that sprayed a strange green fire that only burnt the mares but not the forest.
GAH!
Screamed all the mares as their fur burst into flames...
Despite being in pain, they manage to see a sign that points to the lake-
Still screaming and sobbing in pain, the girls run in that direction-
POOF!
Went the rash weed as it's pollen mystically survived the fire and gave them rashes on top of everything else-
SQUICK!
Went the Sting grass as it's thorns tore into them, again without setting fire themselves-
ZAP!
Went the Shock Shrubs-
STING!
Went the Scorpion Cactus-
SPLASH!
Went the Mare Six as they finally jumped into the lake-
FWOOM!
Went the lake as it was revealed to actually have been a mystically distilled liquid designed to make the fire WORSE...
...
beep
beep
beep
Dipper groans as he steps out of the shower, "Never fails; I step into the bath, I FINALLY get comfortable... and the freaking perimeter alarm goes off...AGAIN!" He grumbles as he hastily wraps a towel around his waist as he goes to deal with the 'intruders'...
As it turns out, there was no need for Dipper to do anything. The Mane six were so horribly injured, they had to call it a day and be rushed to the hospital.
After several intense weeks of healing, they finally got well enough to try again...or Twilight did in any case...the rest were too injured...but more importantly they had to have their fur shaved off thanks to the dozens of stitches and Rarity would rather have her other 3 hooves chopped off then go outside 'furless.'
"Okay...let's try something else..." Said Twilight Sparkle, currently wearing a long cloak to conceal her now hairless hide. She turns to several hundred royal guards she'd called down from Canterlot.
"Right...so you are all the best of the best when it comes to forest assaults, trap removal and siege-laying?" Asked Twilight Sparkle.
"Yes, mam! Princess Celestia said so herself!" Saluted the most senor guard proudly.
Twilight smiles, "Well good to hear! I need all the help I can get to breach that fort!"
"You heard the mare lads! CHARGE!" Screamed the guard as all the guards begin to shout and run forward...while Spike experienced a strange hacking cough...
...Meanwhile...
"Seriously, again?!" Snapped Dipper as once again his shower got interrupted. He got out just in time for yet another of Celestia's misdirected missives to find it's way into his hoof.
Twilight! Don't use those guards you summoned!
All of my guards are either sycophantic fanatics who'd gladly take a dagger for me or 'lesser' family members the nobility bribed me to take under my wing!
In other words their completely useless for anything that doesn't involve menial tasks or being a meat shield!
I just told them they were good soldiers to make them feel better about themselves!
If you use them, they'll be hurt or WORSE! You must stop them at once!
Dipper smirked. "Well, either I prove Celestia dead wrong or I'm completely safe AND get front row seats to one hell of a show! It's win-win!" He then trots to the surveillance monitors to watch the fun...and he wasn't disappointed...
...
BOOM!
GAH!
BOOM!
MY LEGS!
BOOM!
MY EYES! WHERE ARE MY EYES?!
BOOM!
NOT IN THE FACE! NOT IN THE FACE!
BOOM!
I CAN'T FEEL MY SPLEEN!
MOMMY!
BOOM!
LOOK OUT!
BOOM!
OFFICER ON FIRE! OFFICER ON FIRE!
BOOM!
MY PANCREAS! MY BEAUTIFUL PANCREAS!
BOOM!
NOT THE THROAT!
BOOM!
MY PENIS- ER, I MEAN MY SWORD ARM!
BOOM!
GRACE WITHIN ME! IT'S KILLING CINDY!
BOOM!
Twilight watched in horror as 'Celestia's finest' was reduced to a pack of frightened children...and then a bunch of mangled corpses...
Spike- having finally finished vomiting -shrugged, "Well, we tried." He said flatly as he tried to turn around and casually walk back toward Ponyville.
"Get back here." Said Twilight annoyed as she used her magic to drag him back.
ZAP!
Princess Celestia appeared in a blast of light. "Twilight Sparkle I- Celestia's eyes widen in horror at the carnage before her. "Twilight! What have you done?! Didn't you get my letter?!"
"What letter? You haven't sent my anything since I came to Ponyville!" Asked Twilight confused.
Celestia was equally confused. "No letters? What about the Grand Galloping Gala tickets?" She asked baffled.
"What tickets?" Asked an increasingly perplexed Twilight.
Celestia's eyes narrow in suspicion. "Twilight...have you sent me Friendship reports?" She asked in a way that was more probing then accusatory.
"Er...yes? Every week...why?" Asked Twilight, unsure of this line of questioning.
Celestia frowned and zapped a spell over Spike, startling him. "HEY! What's the big idea!?"
"Hmmmm...it SHOULD still be working properly...what's going on here?" Asked Celestia to herself as her analysis spell is completed. She shakes her head, "Nevermind, it's a problem for later. Twilight, you said the person behind my Sister having a bomb attached to her is here?"
Twilight confirms that and they both cautiously go forward with Celestia creating a powerful shield to envelop them...
...
"I'm starting to think that when I bought this, I was just throwing my money away!" Groaned Dipper as he was once more forced to get out of the shower, he'd accidentally spilled nacho cheese over himself while laughing at the guards 'attempts' to get through his traps and so was forced to take another shower during a break in the action.
His eyes widen at the sight of Princess Celestia herself walking through the 'battlefield' unopposed, those morons had sprung all his traps!
Dipper groaned, even if by some miracle he could reset his traps in time...well, this was Princess Celestia they were talking about...he'd have to be careful how he played this...
Seeing them literally at his doorstep, he's forced to immediately yank a lever and stand on the platform as it ascends...
'Time to meet the neighbors...'
...
Twilight and Celestia had just shown up at the fort and were about to decide what to do next-
KLUNK!
They look up to see an opening at the top of the fort to pop open. Allowing a platform to rise, showing a sopping wet, blue, little colt wearing just a towel?
But what REALLY got to Twilight was the intense glare he was giving them both.
Before Twilight can say anything- "Yes, hello there little one! Could you kindly tell us where your designated mare is?" Asked Celestia nicely.
The colt gained an expression on his face that troubled Twilight, but he immediately gave a more neutral expression and said; "Sure, I know her coordinates and can give them to you so you can teleport there at once."
He gives them and before Twilight can protest; Celestia politely thanks him, assures him that whatever happens he won't be held responsible for his mares crimes and teleports them both away.
The moment they arrived at what appeared to be a cave complex, Twilight immediately turned to Celestia. "Um, Princess Celestia? Are you sure it was a good idea to take his word on that? What if he lied?
Celestia smiled, "Not to worry Twilight, I've had centuries of experience telling if foals are lying to me or not...well, that and I cast a lie-detector spell before we talked. Needless to say, he was telling the truth when he said 'My designated Mare is at these coordinates'. Now enough dilly dallying, we need to arrest this mare! It was bad enough to threaten my sister, build up all those horrible traps to maim and hurt so many innocent ponies...but to bring an innocent little colt into the middle of this mess!?" She gave an enraged snort so profound, steam came out of her nose. "I tell you, she'll be lucky to only be in Tarterus when I'm through with her!" She snaps as she trots off...with Twilight reluctantly following...
She was getting a bad feeling about this...why did that expression that colt made before they left bother her...and why did it seem so familiar...?
...Many years ago...
I built an entire model of Canterlot city!" Squeaked a filly Twilight happily to the teacher aide who was judging her entry.
The mare snorts, "Well, that is impressive. I'm sure you and your MOM had a fun time building it." She said derisively.
Twilight looked hurt, "What? But I made it myself!"
"Whatever you say kido." Said the mare dismissively as she walked away...
Twilight just glares after her...
...
Twilight frowned, why was she remembering that after all this time...?
"Huh, now who would leave a perfectly good Ponykin in a place like this?" Twilight looked up from her musings and saw that indeed, there was an abandoned Ponykin lying on the cavern floor...
With words spray painted across it:
Property of Dipper Pines
As well as a nametag that said: 'Hello! My Name is Designated Mare.'
Twilight's eyes widen in realization why that look that colt gave them bothered her so much...it was the same look she'd had as a filly everytime people assumed...someone else did HER work.
"Oh, buck me-
BOOM!
Ponies from miles around would marvel at the firestorm that destroyed the local cave system...