Little Colt in big everfree
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
Nightmare Moon laughed, those foolish mares might've beaten her trials! Now they were walking right into her trap! Soon they and the elements of harmony would be vanquished AND HER NIGHT WOULD RULE FOREVER!
And then she felt it...the familiar feeling of someone asleep...and nearby?
Nightmare Moon frowned at that, they were in the middle of the Everfree forest...who could possibly be asleep?
Curious and seeing she still had time before those mares showed up, she investigated.
To her surprise she found a little blue colt sound asleep in the old library. several books scattered around him, clearly he'd been reading them.
Nightmare Moon scratched her head with a hoof confused, "How on earth did this little colt get out here all by himself? Clearly his family's designated mare has been negligent!" She snorted that last bit with disgust.
She then shrugs, "Well, whatever. I'll take him home after I'm done here. And as long as she forsakes Celestia and swears allegiance to me I'll let her off with just a warning."
She thinks to herself, "Hmmm...I still have some time, I should probably go inside his dream and see if I can find some clue where his home actually is."
And with that she attempts to open a door into his dream realm and go through it-
ZAP!
Nightmare Moon screamed! all of the darkness within Luna was forcibly sucked out of her and into one of the books surrounding the colt.
Dipper Pines 'woke' up with a smile, "Worked like a charm." He opens up the fake book he had beside him to reveal a dream catcher of his own design which now contained the essence of Nightmare Moon.
"Sweet! This'll be useful! Better scram before Celestia or anyone else shows up...but first..."
A woozy Luna slowly woke up and saw the little colt walk up to her, "Well, hello there little one! Thank you for restoring me! Did your family's designated Mare help you put this together? If so, I want to say thank-
A now somewhat annoyed Dipper slapped a collar on her neck, Luna's eye's widen in disbelief.
"Wha- What is this?" Asked the Alicorn Princess confused. "Oh, just some assurance that you won't ever become Nightmare Moon again...if you do, it'll blow up killing you. Oh, and FYI. I have no designated Mare, this was ALL me."
"WHAT!?" Screamed Luna in panic, But Dipper had already jumped out a nearby window. Luna, still weak from her 'exorcism' took awhile to get to the window, she quickly saw it was facing toward Ponyville.
"He must've headed back into town!" Exclaimed Luna as she stumbled her way out of the castle and desperately tried to navigate the forest in her weakened state...
...it never occurred to her that the little colt would head AWAY from civilization and FURTHER into the Everfree Forest.
Dipper watched all this from his hidey-hole, and smirked as he headed back to his 'home'.
...
Meanwhile the mane 6...were at a loss to what to do...after much trial and error(or just gathering in a circle and getting to know each other better to releave their boredom) Twilight was eventually able to figure out how to activate the elements and bring about the sixth element- HER element...but now...now they had no idea what to do next.
...they'd sorta just assumed that when they got the elements Nightmare Moon would simply appear and attack them...But they'd been her for hours...and nothing...kind of a letdown really...
Princess Celestia would be equally confused when she finally showed up. "Why hasn't Luna attacked? She obviously set up tricks and traps to ensnare them in the forest, so she had to be nearby...this doesn't make any sense!"
It is then she gets a message about a confused alicorn stumbling out of the forest, claiming to be her sister...and that she was wearing a BOMB!?
Frantically Celestia teleported herself and the Mane 6 to her location.
After a still panicky Luna explains what happened, Celestia tries to get the collar off...only to find it impossible to remove! Even for her!
Applejack scowls, "What kind of mare would force a little colt to do something so dangerous?!" She snapped angrily.
Twilight frowned, "Wait, I thought he said that he did it himself-
"Oh, come now dear. Little foals are always exaggerating things like that, best pay it no mind." Said Rarity dismissively.
Watching from afar...Dipper was annoyed by the dismissal...except for the purple one...she was the only one who didn't seem completely sold on a Mare being behind him...
"Well...one mare thinking higher of me is a step up I guess." Admitted Dipper with a sigh as he walks back into Everfree...
...
It had been a week or so since Twilight had moved to Ponyville to be around her new friends, still no word on the whereabouts of the little colt that slapped that seemingly unmovable collar on Princess Luna's neck.
...although Twilight couldn't help but feel this might be because the police were more focused on finding the colt's 'designated mare' rather than the actual colt...now although Twilight was reluctant to just take a little colt on his word alone...she also couldn't help but feel that just outright dismissing him wasn't the way to go either...
But Princess Celestia told her to just focus on her friendship lessons, so she supposed that would just have to be a conundrum for another day...
But TODAY the only conundrum she wanted to solve was the mystery of how many apples she could help Applejack buck! YAAY!
COUGH!
Twilight looked over concerned as Spike came down with a nasty cough, sparks flying everywhere. "Spike?! You okay? What's wrong?"
Spike gagged, "COUGH! -Celestia- WHEEZE! -Message- RETCH! -Coming in rough!" And Spike retched out a...chair and alchemist tools?
Twilight looked at this confused, "What the- Why would Celestia send me this?" She said outloud.
However Spike being in rough shape took priority. She rushed him to the hospital and in her concern, completely forgot about what happened and went about her day...
...Meanwhile...
Dipper looked confused, one moment he was tinkering with some ancient dragon bones...the next it temporarily gets engulfed in flames, his chair and several tools got sucked up...and now he had two gala tickets?
Dipper shrugged and eagerly picked up the tickets, "Alright, I know some people who could get me a couple thousand bits for each of these bad boys..."
...
Celestia frowned, "I don't understand...Twilight should have sent a letter complaining about how few tickets I sent by now..." After the day ends and still no word, Celestia doesn't have anymore time to spare on this, she had a country to run and a sister to DE-bomb after all!
Writing off the friendship lesson as a loss she just sends another 5 tickets and goes about her day...
Twilight would never receive them...
But a blue colt in the Everfree would...as would anything else that goes through Spike...
...IIIā¦...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my Patreon account.
Love me, flame me, review me
Wait... Gravity Falls?!?!
Now THIS is interesting.
This is so cool, MORE!!!!
Not bad. I was just curious if you planned on reverse gender rolling this? It could easily fit.
The Monk
"Knowledge is power and power corrupts, so study and be evil." - Reykan
9699080
...I wasn't planning on it, no...why do you ask?
it seems... promising...
Very interesting. Keep up the good work.
While the premise is interesting... I'm not sure I'd continue reading if the rapid fire pacing stays the same.
10303774
yeah i kinda feel the same way. add on top of that we have only been introduced to the characters from the show and not this little colt in the woods we know nothing about what he is doing or why he is doing it, what are his motivations and barely anything about what he is like other then someone who starts with extreme measures for problems he already knows will be solved. either way currently not a character i want to root for.
i think the next chapter or two will make or break this story for me.
10304318
Well I agree with both of their points I donāt see any right or reason he is doing what heās doing at least not the way heās doing it itās kind a hard to understand his motivation
Meh...
10347666
to be fair, it's only the first chapter...
10347666
Joking aside, what wrong with it? I'm open to constructive criticism.
10348887
Since you asked nicely:
Well, it seems a bit fastpaced.
How did a colt design his dream catcher?
Where did he get the collar?
Better yet, did he make it?
typo (actually its the only typo I found)
How can Dipper here the conversation from his 'home'? You never told us where Celestia is located, or how far his home is from the castle.
We know next to nothing of Dipper and how he got here. which leaves the reader at a loss.
An unknown main character does a bunch of stuff.
It seems that the story makes him out to be overpowered.
You are using too many ellipses.
All of these points just leaves a bad taste in my mouth to the point that I don't want to read any more of it.
P.S. this is not meant to be mean
10350554
These points are all explained in future chapters, basically how he got there is a bit of a mystery...that twilight will have to solve as time goes on...
Dipper is also a protege academic who's constantly tinkering and experimenting...
Also, he wasn't 'home' he was in a pre-selected hiding point to monitor the aftermath...he'll go home later when the coast is clear...
Again, his 'home' is meant to be a mystery until later...
Celestia....she was waiting for Luna to be defeated by Twilight and her friends...only to be confused when her plan to free her sister and awaken the elements sorta fell through...
...I guess I just assumed those last three points were self-explanatory and obvious so I didn't elaborate...my bad...
But good input, I'll keep that in mind...
Keep going
is there more soon?
10502273
Sorry, I've been busy doing a lot commissions for a lot of PAYING patrons...so who knows?
10502822
fair enough
10502866
Thank you for understanding.
Really interesting so far. Hope to see more!
And this fic was going so well, too
10522325
If you or a friend want to continue this yourself, you have my permission.
Discovered this fic and bookmarked it cause it sounds interesting. but I can't start it knowing there's only 1 chapter so far.
But your not gonna continue?
I understand though. Time is money after all.
Now to decide if ima read it or not...
10777395
I'd be willing to give it to you or any friends of yours if you'd like...
Of course...if you want to pay me to continue this...that's an option too...
10790005
Nah, I can't even get the three stories I've had in my brain written down.
Whats the going price for such?
And what was the end goal idea? (Kinda pointless to setup for 7 chapters when you only planned for 5, or 10.
On that note, if anyone wants to jump in and help fund Dipper's adventure, let me know!
10790184
okay
10$
Uh...maybe a couple of chapter?(it doesn't end there, that's just as far as I've planned).
10791244
Sounds good. Does this mean I can throw in a cameo for an OC?
10791268
eh....that depends on what you have in mind...
10791857
Honestly nothing. I have no idea how it would fit, be a simple show up n leave, or what have you. Wasn't looking for like story, just a background cameo was my thought. Never really commissioned a story before.
Anywho, how's this work?
10792011
...I guess that's fine.
Keep in mind, I have several other commissions I'm working on, so it'll be awhile if we do this.
10792691
Righto. Just remind me when its time.
10799387
okay, I'll do that.
10799387
Just to be clear you'll need to become a patron on my patron account for me to get the money...
Here's the address https://www.patreon.com/TheCowardlyChristian?alert=2
Just so you know, regular updates are 10$.
but requests to alter or add stuff to it like an OC cameo is an Extra 5$
And make sure to only give money for only one month...if your not careful it'll send a new payment every month.
10799387
The next chapter is ready, just pay me and I'll update it.
10823718
Done! Sent and ready.
10823718
Crazy considering I haven't even read the first chapter. Lol
10826893
Sorry, was in the middle of a family thing...
Okay, it's confirmed.
Make sure to double-check to make sure it was a one-time pay-off and not monthly, because that can happen sometimes.
Anyway, I'll update it now.
10827111
It is now updated, enjoy!
What did I read...I love it!