When Applejack and Rainbow are sent to the Equestria Girls universe to solve a friendship problem, it seems the ones with the problem to solve are...themselves?
Applejack and Rainbow are summoned by the Cutie Map to solve another friendship problem. But to their surprise, the problem lies on the other side of the portal to the human world.
Now, finding themselves as funny looking, two-legged, small-nosed, mostly hairless monkey people, the two are faced with some important questions:
Can they survive life in this brave new world? Will they discover what the friendship problem is? How long will they be stuck here? And just why do their human counterparts seem to not be getting along?
Written for the fifth Appledash contest, "Second Chances".
“Sooo, any idea where we’re supposed to be going?” Rainbow fluttered around the throne room impatiently. Her Cutie Mark had been buzzing for the past quarter hour, but something was amiss.
“I don’t understand.” Twilight was staring at the Map in frustration. Two symbols, a rainbow shaped lightning bolt and a trio of apples were circling each other. While that wasn’t out of the ordinary, the problem was that they were still circling over the Map’s representation of Twilight’s castle.
“Rrrgh,” Rainbow growled, “how are we supposed to solve a friendship problem if we don’t know where it is?” She pawed at the Marks as if she could somehow force them to start moving.
“Is it possible that the problem is comin’ from the castle itself?” Applejack spoke up, glancing around the throne room as if to make the friendship problem materialise out of thin air.
“What problem could there be in here?” Twilight asked. “There’s only the three of us. I mean... do either of you two have any problems?”
“Not really.” Applejack replied.
“My only problem is that the stupid Map’s broken...” Rainbow muttered to herself.
“Simmer down Rainbow.” A.J reprimanded her. “I’m sure Twilight can figure this out.”
“Actually, it may not be me who has to do it.” Twilight responded. “The Map only ever picks the ponies it needs to complete the mission. That includes figuring out what the mission is. Maybe it’s up to the two of you to work out where to go.”
“But that’s not how it worked before!” Rainbow hovered over the map and gestured at it wildly. “The Map is supposed to show us! And what the heck is that humming sound?” She looked around, growing more irritable by the moment.
“Humming sound?” Twilight asked. “What hum-” She cut herself off as suddenly, she began to hear it too. A.J also perked up, looking around to try and determine the source. “Oh wait, that’s just the portal to the other world.” She walked over to a small door set into the wall and opened it with her magic, revealing the portal behind. “Spike and I set this into the wall a while ago. It can get hard to concentrate on other things when it glows so bright. I wonder why it would be hummi-... what are you staring at?”
“Um, Twilight?” Applejack was rubbing her temple, a somewhat exhausted look on her face. “Does that thing normally hum?”
“Not really.”
“So how long has it be doin’ that?”
“I don’t...I mean I probably would have noticed if it had been doing it for a while.”
“Heh. She means Spike would have noticed.”
“Shut up Dash.” Applejack approached the portal. “What I mean is, if it only started hummin’ a little while ago-”
“That’s it!” Twilight gasped, her eyes lighting up in excitement. “The friendship problem is through the portal!”
...
...
...
“I am gonna get so behind on my farm work...”
“All done!” Twilight declared, snapping a book shut. “Now all we do is wait!”
Applejack and Rainbow looked up from the bags they were packing. Neither one looked pleased at the Alicorn who appeared to be sitting around doing nothing.
“Um, what exactly are we waiting for?” Rainbow asked.
“I just wrote to Sunset Shimmer to let her know the two of you are coming.” Twilight replied, proudly holding up the book for them to see. “It can be kind of strange going to new world like theirs. It might help you to have somepony...or somebody in this case, show you around.”
“Guess that makes sense.” Applejack grunted, pulling the straps on her saddle bags tight. “Hey, does this mean we’re gonna be meetin’ ourselves?”
Rainbow gasped and shot into the air. “Yeah! You said there’s one of each of us of the other side, right? I wanna meet the other me! Finally somepony who can keep up with me!” Rainbow caught A.J looking at her with narrowed eyes. “What?”
“I expect they’ll be around.” Twilight replied, pulling another book from a nearby shelf. “But you need to be prepared for what you’ll see.”
“Pfft, what’s to prepare for?” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “They’re just like us except they walk on two legs and have no wings or magic. Heh, I almost feel sorry for the other me. It’s gotta suck not having any wings. Imagine having to walk everywhere!”
“I’m standin’ right here...”
“It can be more disconcerting than you think, Rainbow.” Twilight sat on her throne and opened the book. “But since it may take some time for Sunset to respond, I can take some time to school the two of you on what to expect. After my various trips through the portal, I wrote down a number of notes and speculations.”
“I mean us Earth Ponies may got no wings, but there ain’t no need to go on about it...”
“Oh come on Twilight!” Rainbow sat in her own throne and folded her forelegs in a huff. “You went through the portal the first time without knowing what to expect. I’m pretty sure we can handle it.”
“Personally, I’m happy without spinnin’ ‘round the sky like some silly bird. Just ain’t natural...”
“It doesn’t hurt to be prepared Rainbow. You have a mission beyond just learning how to get by in this world. Now settle down, this won’t take long.”
“Family built this whole darned town without no fancy wings, don’t see us makin’ a big deal outta-”
“Um, Applejack?” Rainbow looked over at the cowgirl who was now idly kicking a rear hoof against the wall. “You coming to this lecture or what?”
Applejack sighed. “I’ma comin’, keep your mane on...”
“-and another important thing to remember is that when humans extend the middle finger - I told you guys about fingers, right? - but keep the other fingers curled up, that is considered to be a very rude gesture which should absolutely never be used-”
THUNK
The lesson came to an abrupt end as a dozing Rainbow Dash’s head suddenly made loud contact with the back of her throne. An irritated Twilight looked up from her book to survey the scene. Rainbow apparently hadn’t noticed the hard bump to her head as she was still asleep. Applejack was still awake, but had long ago abandoned any pretence of looking like she was paying attention, and now leaned against Rainbow’s throne, staring off into space.
“Fine.” Twilight huffed. “I’ll just pack the book with you.”
The sounds of a scuffle caught her attention and she looked back at the two. Mid slumber, Rainbow’s head had moved from her throne to Applejack’s shoulder. There was a certain amount of personal space Applejack was prepared to have violated, but evidently Rainbow crossed the line when she had begun drooling over Applejack and had received a sharp elbow to the ribs as punishment. Rainbow immediately took the chance to smack her back and the whole situation had devolved into a petty slap fight.
Twilight was just considering whether to break it up or sneak off to the kitchen for a snack while this thing sorted itself out, when she heard a buzzing sound coming from her other book. The sound also interrupted the throw down occurring off to her side, and the three mares gathered around the book to see what was going on.
“Aha!” Twilight exclaimed. “Sunset replied! Let’s see... ‘Dear Twilight, I’m not sure I understand everything about this Map or any friendship problems (though I’ll make sure to examine the extra documents you attached explaining the concept when I have more time), but Applejack and Rainbow are at the portal now, ready for your versions to arrive. They’re looking forward to meeti-‘”
“Yeah, yeah, we get it!” Rainbow slapped Twilight’s hoof away from the book. “Now come on, are we getting on with this mission or what? Anymore reading and I’m going to go insane!”
“And that’s any different from normal?” Applejack muttered.
“What was that?”
“Nothin’.”
Rainbow eyed Applejack suspiciously for a moment before dismissing it. She grabbed her saddlebags and threw them on her back. She then picked up A.J’s and threw them to the cowgirl, ignoring her irritated protests, and galloped headlong towards the portal.
Applejack rolled her eyes as the Pegasus disappeared in a flash of light. She turned to Twilight and gave her a hug.
“Thanks for all the advice Sugarcube. You sure that thing’s gonna stay open? I don’t want Granny worryin’ ‘bout me.”
“It’ll be open for as long as you need. If there’s any trouble you can just step back through. Or ask Sunset to write me. Good luck.”
A.J gave the princess a wink, turned to the portal and sprinted towards the light.
Colours whizzed past her head. Applejack felt herself spinning head over heels. Gravity was up. Then down. Left, right, up down, up, right, left, up, down, right. She would have vomited if only she could.
She could feel the changes happening to her body. It wasn’t painful exactly. But it felt like it should have been. Her body was twisting into strange proportions. Some parts were getting smaller, others were getting bigger. Other parts were disappearing altogether to be replaced with things entirely new parts. Other parts were moving from one place to another. Finally it was too much. She closed her eyes and darkness settled in.
Opening her eyes, Applejack found herself looking up at the blue sky. She could feel a hard surface beneath her. She rolled onto her front, seeing paving stones cutting through a grassy lawn. She tried to stand. And immediately fell.
“Hey there!” A voice spoke up. “Try not to move too much. First time through the portal can be pretty weird.”
Applejack looked up and saw a strange figure. It was... well she could hardly describe it. She had never seen anything quite like it.
“I’m Sunset Shimmer.” The figure spoke. “I don’t know if you remember me. Twilight said you were both there that night when I stole...” she trailed off for a moment, “well that’s not important right now.”
Looking at the girl more closely, Applejack remembered vague details. A yellow Unicorn with a red and yellow mane. This...creature, for want of a better word, looked a little like her. Suddenly, to her side, another voice spoke up.
“That was awesome!” Rainbow cheered. “What a rush! I haven’t been on a ride like that since the Dizzitron at the academy!”
Applejack smiled despite herself. Typical Rainbow Dash. Always living in the moment. Applejack turned to look at her. And her eyes shot wide open in shock. The figure next to her didn’t look like Rainbow at all. Well, sort of. The figure was blue enough, and she certainly had that mop of rainbow mane. But she looked more like the creature claiming to be Sunset Shimmer than a normal pony. She was also wearing clothes, a light blue hoodie, black sweats and white sneakers. That couldn’t be Rainbow, Rainbow hadn’t been wearing any-
Then it came back to her. She had zoned out for most of Twilight’s lecture, but she had caught a few snippets here and there. Something about changing form, walking on two legs, having arms and claw-like things called “hands”. Steadying herself, Applejack looked down at her own body.
“GAH!” She cried out and started thrashing around, trying to gain some semblance of control over her new form. It all seemed so wrong! Her limbs were long and skinny, her joints bent in different directions, her face was smaller, her tail was gone, her front hooves split into five weird little-
“Take it easy!” Sunset took hold of her. “It’s okay! I went through the same thing, you’re going to be fine.
Applejack forced herself to calm down, taking some deep breaths. She could do this, she could do this. Twilight did it, Sunset did. All she needed was to-
“AAAUUGGHH!” Rainbow’s scream filled the air. “What’s happened to me?”
Applejack rolled her eyes as Sunset went to tend to the other girl. She took a moment to look down and inspect herself. Like Rainbow she was now wearing new clothing, in addition to her still present cowpony hat. She had an orange button up shirt, blue jeans and brown leather boots.
“Huh. Well this ain’t so bad.” Applejack thought to herself. “Although...” She rolled the sleeves of the shirt up to her elbows. “Much better.”
She returned to watching Sunset trying to restrain Rainbow. The blue Pega-...blue...person... was still flailing around like rat in a trap and it was clear that Sunset was going to need some help. If Applejack was going to be of assistance, it was clear she would need to figure this new body out. Seeing how Sunset appeared to be walking on two legs, Applejack figured she ought to do the same. Couldn’t be too hard, right? Spike did it all the time after all.
Placing her booted feet firmly on the ground, Applejack rose up. She wobbled a little. But then she steadied herself. She planted her...hands...on her hips proudly. Hah! That wasn’t so-
WHAM
Applejack touched her nose tenderly. The bleeding had pretty much stopped and it didn’t feel like anything was broken. Though she did have to wonder why that stone paving was really necessary. Wouldn’t have been so bad if she had just fallen on the grass...
By this point Rainbow had calmed down. Sunset had managed to get the two of them to sit up against the base of a stone statue of a pony, which apparently was the portal back home, and she was now introducing herself properly to Rainbow.
“It’s okay.” She was saying in a soothing voice. “I freaked out pretty bad the first time I came here-”
“Woah, woah, woah!” Rainbow cut her off. “I did not freak out! I’m totally chillaxed! If Twilight could handle this, I can handle ten times as easily!” She started looking at herself, checking out her new body.
“Okay.“ Sunset seemed to sigh and smile at the same time. “I’m glad you’re taking this so-”
“Where the hay are my wings?”
It had taken another five minutes, but Applejack and Sunset had finally managed to calm Rainbow down again. Well, at least she wasn’t hyperventilating anymore. As the blue girl struggled to comprehend the cruelty fate had bestowed upon her, Applejack once again rose to her feet. She still stumbled a little, but she managed to not fall this time.
“So I guess introductions are in order.” She spoke to Sunset. “I’m Applejack and this here is-”
“I already know.” Sunset gave her an apologetic smile. “That’s the other weird thing about this place. I’ve already met you two. Well...other versions of you two.”
Applejack blinked for a moment. “Right, o’ course. There’s another Applejack runnin’ around these parts. That’s gonna take some gettin’ used to...”
“I can’t imagine.” Sunset replied. “Still, even if I kind of know you, I guess you don’t really know me yet.” She held her claw, no, hand out to Applejack. “Welcome to our world.”
Applejack stared at the appendage offered to her. She tentatively held out her own and allowed Sunset to grasp and shake it. That was...odd.
“So,” Sunset continued, “Princess Twilight said the two of you had a mission of some kind?”
“That’s right.” Applejack replied. “It’s a little hard to explain, I don’t always understand it myself, but we got a job to do. Basically we gotta find somepony-”
“Somebody.”
“...Some...body...with a friendship problem. Then we find a way to fix it. Once that’s done our Cutie Marks glow to tell us- Hey wait a minute.” Applejack looked down at her hips. “We still have our Cutie Marks, right?” She tugged at the sides of her jeans. If the Marks were anywhere, they’d probably be-
“Woah!” Sunset reached out and gragged Applejack’s arms. “I don’t know how much Twilight told you about this place, but you should really keep those on!”
“Uhh...”
“Just...trust me. We still have our Marks, right where they should be. It’s just that this world has kind of a strange custom about clothing.”
“Why would-”
“Hey!” Rainbow suddenly cut in, having finally managed to get to her own feet. “Are we gonna hurry up and get this job done or what? The sooner we get out of here, the sooner I get my wings back!”
“Ugh.” Applejack pinched the bridge of her nose. Surprisingly that move was a lot more satisfying with a finger and thumb than with a hoof. “While she ain’t got her priorities exactly right, Rainbow does have a point. We need to figure out what the friendship problem is.”
“So you guys just go wherever you’re told to and find problems to fix?” Sunset asked.
“Well actually we just kinda go where the Map says and wait around ‘til the problem finds us.” Saying it aloud, Applejack realised it didn’t come across as the best plan.
“I see...” Sunset obviously still wasn’t convinced. “Well I guess if you need to solve a friendship problem, it’d help if you had more friends to talk to.” She pulled a strange device from her pocket and tapped it a number of times with her fingers. She held it up to her ear and after a few moments, began talking. “Hey guys, they’re here... Yeah they’re a little confused, but I think we’re past the worst of it, you wanna come on over?”
“Um, Applejack?” Rainbow nudged the cowgirl in the ribs. “I think this girl’s lost it. Who’s she talking to?”
“I have no idea Sugarcube...”
Seemingly done with her one sided conversation, Sunset returned the device to her pocket. “I told the others to wait until I had a chance to help you two get used to things. I figured it would be kind of overwhelming to meet everyone all at once.”
“I can see why.” A new voice suddenly piped up from behind the statue. Well...it was new...but strangely familiar...
Applejack wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Upon hearing the new voice, she had turned away from Rainbow and found herself face to face with...Rainbow. But the strangest of all had been when she saw the human version of...herself.
To be fair, she clearly wasn’t the only one who found this situation weird. Both Rainbows and the other Applejack were all staring at each other open mouthed. Even Sunset seemed apprehensive.
“Okay.” Sunset awkwardly stepped in. “So Applejack and Rainbow Dash, meet...Applejack and Rainbow Dash? That’s going to be confusing...”
“Um...” the other Applejack fidgeted before holding out her hand, “hey there...partner.”
Applejack looked at the hand for a moment. It was identical to her own. Remembering what Sunset had done earlier, she took hold of it with her own hand and shook.
“Nice to meet you...Applejack?” Applejack winced.
“Okay, we have to do something about this!” Rainbow interjected. “We can’t keep calling each other by our own names, it’s just...weird!”
“Well duh!” The other Rainbow replied. “At what point did you think this wasn’t gonna be weird?”
“We should probably try to think of different names for the different Rainbows and Applejacks.” Sunset interjected, cutting off Rainbow’s incoming retort to her double.
“I know!” The other Rainbow exclaimed. “How about Human Applejack and Human Rainbow Dash, and Pony Applejack and Pony Rainbow!”
“That...sounds like a mouthful.” The other Applejack gave her a disparaging look.
“Well, our Applejack and Rainbow already have nicknames.” Sunset stepped forwards. “How about we call them A.J and Dash, while the pony versions can keep being called Applejack and Rainbow?”
“Hey, why do we have to use different names?” The other Rainbow cut in.
“Maybe because they are our guests, Dash.” The other Applejack lightly smacked her on the shoulder. “I think that’s a perfectly fine idea Sunset. As long as they’re here, I’m just fine goin’ by A.J.”
The other Rainbow grunted in reluctant agreement and the group collectively let out a sigh of relief. At least there would be one thing made a little easier.
“So just so we know exactly what’s goin’ on here,” A.J continued, “how long are you aimin’ to stay here? Not that we ain’t happy to have you or nothin’, we just need to-”
“Nah I get it.” Applejack replied. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with hashin’ out a few details.” Applejack smiled. Her other self seemed pretty easy to get on with. Which was more than could be said for Rainbow and Dash, who were currently eyeing each other like two caged animals. “We don’t know exactly how long this job is gonna take. As we were sayin’ to Sunset, it just kinda happens when it happens.”
“So, we talkin’ hours? Days? Weeks?” A.J asked.
“Hopefully no more than a couple o’ days.” Applejack replied. “It ain’t never taken more than that yet.”
A.J grinned. “Then it sounds to me like you’re gonna need a place to stay!”
“Well here we are!” A.J pulled the handbrake and gestured grandly...to the small suburban house. It looked...kind of like a farm house in some ways, but it was still planted snugly in a regular cul-de-sac. Applejack was surprised to say the least.
“Y’all don’t live on a farm?” She asked as A.J opened the truck’s door for her. She jumped down onto the hard tarmac. Not the same as the dirt road of her beloved Sweet Apple Acres.
“Well yes and no.” A.J replied. “Mom and Dad run a farm just outside the city, but it’s a little far to go every school day. Mac, Applebloom and me live here with Granny during term-” She broke off as she noticed Applejack’s shocked face. “Um...you okay there partner?”
“M-Mom and...” Applejack’s words died in a whisper.
“Mom! I’m home!” Dash yelled out as she opened the front door with an unapologetic bang. “I brought a friend over, we’re gonna go play video games!” She was two feet away from the stairs when a woman’s voice piped up from somewhere in the house.
“Wait just a moment, young lady!” Dash groaned as the sounds of shifting filtered through the house. Clearly the woman was intent on making her way to the front door. “You know the rules, you can’t invite your friends over without asking permission first! Which one is it?”
As footsteps started to sound louder and louder, Dash and Rainbow looked at each other in shock. If Dash’s mother saw the two of them together it would be...difficult to explain.
“It’s...uh...it’s Applejack!” Dash yelled back. The footsteps suddenly stopped. “We’ve got...some things to...y’know...talk about.”
“Jackie’s here?” The voice responded. Dash looked over at Rainbow, frantically gesturing for her to speak.
Rainbow gulped. “Um...eeeyup! It’s me alright, sure as sugar! Howdy doo Mrs Dash!” Rainbow grinned. Luckily for them she was awesome at copying Applejack’s voice.
“Are you alright?” The voice piped up again. “You sound like you’re coming down with something.” Dash and Rainbow both slapped a hand over their eyes.
“It’s just a cold!” Dash called back. “It’s nothing serious, but the two of us have...stuff to talk about! Y’know...private stuff!”
“Okay honey!” The voice replied. “Hope you’re feeling better Jackie. I’m glad the two of you are finally working things out! But you know the rules, bedroom door stays open-”
“Okay Mom!” Dash bellowed, seemingly trying to cut her mother off. She grabbed Rainbow’s hand and bolted up the stairs.
A.J approached Applejack uncertainly. She sat on the couch in the living room, seemingly unable to speak.
“Here.” A.J spoke up. “Thought you might like to see this.”
Applejack raised her head up as a photo album was placed in her lap. It looked fairly old, the bound leather torn and curled at the edges, but it was clean of all dust. She had seen many similar ones in her own home. As A.J sat down next to her, she opened the first page, steeling herself for what she would find.
Rainbow was torn between confusion and resisting the urge to snicker at her double’s reddening face. As awkward as things were, at least her mother wasn’t embarrassing her.
Right now.
As Dash moodily stormed into her bedroom, Rainbow followed and took a moment to quickly survey things. The house and bedroom were hardly as awesome as her cloud house back home. Built on the ground, no fountains, no pillars. Just a simple house. Not small, not huge. The bedroom was fine. Twilight would say it was messy, what with clothing flung in every possible direction, but it suited Rainbow fine. It made sense to her, everything was easy to find like this.
Dash stomped over to a strange device near her bed and started pressing buttons. Soon, images appeared on the device’s screen. It was kind of like being in a movie theatre, only much smaller.
“Just gonna take a moment for the game to load up.” Dash spoke. Rainbow looked at the screen. There was a growing line with the word ‘loading’ above it. She looked over to a small object which Dash claimed was the game’s box. Her eyes lit up and all thoughts of Dash’s mother were gone from her mind as she suddenly recognised the human character on the front.
“There’s a Daring Do game?” She squealed.
In the toughest, coolest way possible, of course.
“And this ‘un here is Applebloom’s seventh birthday,” A.J was saying, “I thought she was a little old for the rockin’ horse Mom made for her, but she was so dang pleased with it. Had to pretty much pull her off it when it was time for bed. Course, these days, she goes red as a Pink Lady if you ever bring it up...”
Applejack wasn’t really listening. She was just staring at two faces. Different, but not unfamiliar. A man with yellow skin and red shaggy hair. A woman with tan skin and a scraggly, ginger ponytail. To think, they were out there somewhere. Just a few miles beyond this very city. She wondered what they were doing right-
“What happened to them?” A.J’s voice cut through her train of thought. She looked over. The other girl looked sympathetic. “What happened in... your world?
For a moment, Applejack hated her other self. She wasn’t stuck running a whole farm. She didn’t have to deal with monsters and magic on daily basis. She never lost...
Applejack shook herself. What was she thinking? She could be jealous of her other’s fortune, but to resent her? That wasn’t fair. It wasn’t what they would have wanted.
“You’re better off not knowin’.” Applejack said, forcing a smile. She looked down at the smiling faces in the photographs. In a small voice, she added: “Are there any more o’ these?”
Rainbow’s initial excitement at the prospect of getting to be Daring Do was starting to wear off as she kept looking at the loading bar.
“Auugghh, how long is this thing gonna take?”
“I dunno.” Dash shrugged. “Twilight says it has something to do with gigabytes and the CPU or some-”
“Wait, what?”
“CPU. It’s part of the machine”
“There’s a machine part called see pee-yew?” Rainbow couldn’t help but snicker. After considering her point for a moment, Dash soon joined in.
At last loading bar filled out. The screen showed an image similar to the game box, the human Daring Do running away from a giant boulder, treasure clutched in her hands.
“And this here is from Christmas, two years ago. Heh. Dad dressed up as Santa for Applebloom, just as he did every year before. But by then, Applebloom was goin’ through something of a moody phase. Kept gettin’ huffy ‘bout him embarrassin’ her in front of her friends. Mom told her off for that, kinda ruined the mood for a-”
“Is that Dash there?” Applejack cut the story off. She had no idea what ‘krissmuss’ and ‘sahntah’ were supposed to be, but she was more intrigued by the presence of a certain rainbow-haired girl that seemed to flit from picture to picture. None of their other friends seemed to be there, so why would Dash-
“Oh Dash?” A.J cut her off, looking strangely nervous. “A-hehe, yeah, um, sh-she was just...I mean her folks were goin’ outta town for the holidays, so she-I mean, we asked me-I mean her to, um...”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. Was this really how she looked to other ponies when she was trying to hide the truth? No wonder she lost so many rounds of poker to Rainbow and Pinkie. Regardless, she turned over to the next page of the photo album. And there, she saw...
Still waiting for the game to load, Rainbow decided to take the chance to ask some questions.
“So what was up with your mom? Why would she call A.J ‘Jackie’? And what did she mean by working things out?”
To her surprise, Dash’s face grew redder.
“Oh! Um...well A.J and me had some...uh...” Dash seemed to be staring intensely at the screen, even though there was nothing to look at but another loading bar.
“And what did she mean by keeping the bedroom door open?”
“Um...well Mom and Dad have a thing about...privacy...” Dash chanced a look at Rainbow and saw her raising an eyebrow in confusion. “I...mean...hehe, it’s totally lame, right? I bet your folks are just as bad, huh?”
Rainbow was not swayed by her twin’s attempt to change the conversation. “What would you and A.J being doing in your room with the door close-”
“Ohheylookatthatthegame’sloaded!” She blurted out, throwing a smaller device with buttons to Rainbow and taking one for herself.
“Dang it.” A.J muttered, covering her face with her hat. “Forgot that was in there.”
Applejack stared in shock. The next photograph along was of her (well, the other her) and Dash. Clearly it was the same krissmuss party, but that wasn’t the strange part. The two were standing in the hallway, a sprig of mistletoe above them.
And they were kissing.
Not a friendly peck, not that one kiss on each cheek that Rarity insisted was the “sophisticated way of saying hello”. It didn’t even look like they were doing it on a dare.
It was a full on, tender, loving kiss on the lips. Dash’s arms were around A.J’s neck. A.J had one hand on Dash’s back and the other running through her hair. Their eyes were closed in deep bliss. In the background, Applebloom and Scootaloo were making faces of disgust, A.J’s father was watching Dash rather mistrustfully, and her mother seemed to be tearing up, yet smiling at the same time.
A.J snatched the photo out of the album and walked off to the other side of the room. She stood with her back to Applejack and looked down at the picture. Her shoulders seemed to sag.
“What the heck was that?” Applejack asked. She tried not to sound accusatory; she appreciated all that A.J had done for her so far. But between finding out that her parents were still alive (sort of) and now this on top of it... Her mind was reeling.
A.J just continued to stare at the picture. Shuffling around, Applejack could make out her face. She seemed so...sad.
“Are you and Dash...” Applejack swallowed before she continued, “together?”
A.J grunted in response. “Used to be.”
Rainbow was torn again. On the one hand, she wanted to ask Dash more about what was going on between A.J and her and why she was so embarrassed.
On the other hand...Daring Do.
So for a while the two played in silence together. It took Rainbow a while to fully grasp the concept of a video game. The screen had some simple instructions to follow, but Dash had complained that the instructions were making things too easy for the ‘newbs’ these days, so Rainbow made a point of ignoring them. Instead she spent most of the time observing Dash, whose face seemed to be growing redder and redder by the minute.
Suddenly a voice from downstairs broke the silence. “It’s getting awfully quiet up there! You two aren’t doing anything you shouldn’t be, are you?”
Dash growled and stormed over to the open door. “We’re fine Mom!” She called. “We’re just playing a game!”
“As long as that’s all it is!” The voice called back. “I don’t want to have to call Mrs Smith again! Remember what happened last time!”
Dash flopped onto the bed and buried her face in a pillow in shame. Rainbow stared at her for a moment.
“So...?” Rainbow asked, waiting for Dash to finally give up the goods.
“Ugh, fine!” Dash rolled onto her front and threw her arms up in the air. “Me and A.J are fu-”
“What happened?”
A.J sighed. “Dash and me were...well we dated some time ago.”
“You mean she was your special somepo-somebody?”
A.J turned and gave Applejack a half amused, half annoyed look. “Well she was my girlfriend, if that’s what you mean.”
Applejack couldn’t help but gape for a moment. “You and Dash...really? You and Dash?” She imagined herself and Rainbow for a moment. Cupping each other’s faces in their hooves. Leaning forward to- She immediately felt blood rush to her cheeks and started kneading her fists against her temples, trying to erase the mental image.
“Why’s that so surprisin’?” A.J lent back against a side table, bemused. “Ain’t you and Rainbow-”
“Nope!” Applejack shot to her feet. “There ain’t nothin’ like that goin’ on ‘tween us, you hear me?”
“Alright, simmer down.” A.J raised her hands in defence. “Just askin’. Why’s the idea freak you out?”
“It ain’t freakin’ me out, I just...” Another mental image came to mind, this one a lot more...mature. “I just don’t need them thoughts in my head!”
“Heh, ain’t as bad as you might think. Dash could be real nice when she-”
This time Applejack strode over to her double and clapped a hand over her mouth. Her mental images were getting dirtier by the second! “Well if it’s so dag blasted perfect, why ain’t you together no more?”
She regretted her harsh words and tone as she saw the sadness return to A.J’s eyes. She removed her hand and backed up.
“I...I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like-”
“It’s okay. Stuff happens, ain’t nobody’s fault.” She took another look at the picture. A sad smile crossed her face.
“What happened between you two?”
Now it was Rainbow’s turn to blush. She sat listening as Dash had described the things she and A.J had been getting up to. She didn’t understand the word Dash had first used, but of course, she pretended that she did.
“Okay, well maybe we haven’t actually done that yet,” Dash had admitted, “but we totally would have if our families didn’t have their dumb ‘doors open’ rule!”
“Uh huh.” Rainbow said. Naturally, she kept up an air of coolness, but inside her mind was trying to figure out what it was the two were doing.
“Man I swear you wouldn’t think a farm girl like her would be such a great kisser, but-”
Oh. Well that cleared things up a lot. As Dash prattled on, Rainbow’s mind started reeling. Her and A.J? Together? Doing...that?
“Guess it doesn’t matter anyways.” Dash was muttering. “Ever since that stupid bake sale...”
“Us two had been together for a while before it all went wrong.” A.J was saying. The two had returned to the couch, A.J still looking at the picture of the kiss. “A few months before Princess Twilight showed up...Dash and me had ourselves a fallin’ out.”
“Well that ain’t hard to believe.” Applejack spoke up. “That gal can be quite a hoof-um, handful.”
A.J chuckled. “That she can. But it weren’t all her fault. I thought she let me down about somethin’, she thought I let her down. We broke up and didn’t talk for quite a while. Princess Twilight helped us figure out it was all a big misunderstandin’ and we became friends again.”
“But you didn’t go back to datin’?”
A.J looked at the photo one last time before carefully placing it in her breast pocket. “Nope.”
Just as Dash finished explaining the details of the breakup, Rainbow finally had to interject.
“Woah, woah, woah.” She cut in. “I gotta ask something.”
Dash looked up at her, still lying on the bed.
“Yeah?”
“Why A.J?”
“I’m sorry if this is a rude question an’ all, but...” Applejack’s words died in her throat. It was a hard thing to ask and in some ways, she was afraid of the answer.
“It’s okay.” A.J replied, that sad smile still on her face. “Go ahead on an’ ask.”
“Well...why Dash?”
A.J raised an eyebrow. “Y’serious?”
“Well o’ course I am!” Applejack stood up to face her. “I mean Rainbow’s a great friend an’ all but...I just ain’t never looked at her that way before!”
A.J’s smile grew. “I didn’t neither at first. When she first asked me out, I turned her down right then and there without a second thought.”
Dash’s mouth split into a cocky smirk. “Heh, A.J might be pretty uptight, but she’s not as bad as you might think. I remember the first time I asked her out. She was like putty in my hands.”
“But once she put the idea in m’head, I couldn’t help but think about it more and more. I started watchin’ her, tryin’ to pay a little more attention to how she was. An’ then I started to realise there may be more to that girl than I thought. I figured it was still a fool’s errand, but I decided to give her a chance.”
“I figured she’d make me work for it. Like she’d be spending the whole time pushing me away and all. But let me tell you, once she gets going, dude, she’s like a freakin’ tiger!”
“As time went on, I started to see a different side to ‘er. I know she’s always puttin’ on airs, tryin’ to be cool and everythin’, but...when we were alone together, she started to show me what she was really like.”
“Like I said, she’s a freaking amazing kisser! She used to do this thing where she’d run a hand down my back and then bring it around to my-”
“She could be sensitive, quiet, thoughtful. Even kind. There was one time I was feelin’ down on account of our family dog, Winona havin’ to be put down. I...wanted to cry when that happened. But I couldn’t.”
“Then there was this one time when some jerk ran over her dog. I was ready to follow that guy’s car until he stopped and then pummel him into jelly! But...well...I mean A.J looked kinda sad so...”
“I had to be strong for Applebloom. She was cryin’ her heart out, poor thing, an’ I didn’t want her to see me doin’ the same. But then Dash came over and took me away to a private spot. At first I thought she was gonna try and make out with me or somethin’, but...
“I gave her what she needed.”
“She gave me a shoulder to cry on. I think she knew somethin’ about tryin’ to be tough in front of other people, so I guess she knew what I was going’ through. She was real sweet that night...”
Rainbow stared at her double in shock.
Applejack gazed at her twin, dumbfounded.
“So why didn’t you get back together?”
The sun was beginning to set when Applejack and Rainbow met at the portal. The atmosphere between the two was unusually quiet.
“Hey.” Rainbow spoke up, hands shoved casually into the pockets of her hoodie. The hood was up, failing to hide her blush.
“Eeyup.” Applejack replied, leaning back against the side of the statue. Her hat was pulled down over her eyes, but the rosiness in her cheeks was still visible.
“So...I think I know what the friendship problem we have to solve is....”
The atmosphere was quiet. Tension hung thick in the air. And the awkward silence. Oh, the awkward silence! Rainbow didn’t like silence at the best of times, but this was the worst type. In fact, this might have been the worst of the worst type! It was such an alien concept! How does somepony deal with meeting an alternate version of themselves, who’s in love with an alternate version of their best friend, and then work with their best friend to get the alternate versions back together, all because a stupid map told them too??
Well obviously, step one was to break the tension.
“Heh. So I guess the other you just couldn’t resist the other me, huh?” Rainbow casually folded her arms across her chest, pretending to not notice the blush on Applejack’s face and the growl in her voice.
“That ain’t funny Dash!”
“Uh, Rainbow? Hello, we’re supposed to be using first names, remember?” Rainbow chuckled as Applejack growled again. Hey, at least the silence was over, right?
“Whatever Rainbow. Let’s just...let’s just get this dealt with.” Applejack exhaled sharply through her nose, the same way she always did when she was annoyed. So easy to push her buttons.
“So what’s the big deal?” Rainbow shrugged. “Just tell ‘em they have to kiss and make up so we can go home.”
Applejack pinched the bridge of her nose. “I don’t think it’s that simple Sugarcube. We ain’t never solved a friendship problem just by tellin’ folks they gotta get over themselves because the map said so.”
“Well maybe we should try...”
“I’m thinkin’ the point o’ this is to get the ponies-”
“People.”
“Whatever. We’re s’posed to get whoever it is to learn the lesson for themselves, not fake it just to make the map happy.”
Rainbow groaned. “Ugh, fine! So how do we do this?”
Applejack scrunched her mouth, face going redder than before. “When I asked A.J why she never got back together with Dash, she wouldn’t answer. Just said somethin’ about it bein’ ‘complicated’.”
Applejack was clearly getting too embarrassed to focus. Luckily for her, Rainbow knew just what to do! Step one: break the tension again. “Pfft, what’s complicated? The other you is hot for me.”
Applejack spluttered at Rainbow’s directness. “She ain’t! She’s hot for the other you!” Her eyes widened as realised that didn’t sound much better. “I mean, she’s got...feelin’s for you...the other you! Consarn it!”
At this point Rainbow was doubled over in hysterics. Applejack was so much fun when she was all worked up. More importantly, Rainbow no longer felt awkward about the situation.
SMACK
“OW!” Her laughter came to an abrupt stop when Applejack suddenly backhanded her across the head. Some ponies just couldn’t take a joke...
“Don’t know what you’re laughin’ at, buttercup!” Applejack grinned despite herself. “Sounds to me like the other you is pretty gaga ‘bout the other me too!”
Aaannnd it was awkward again. Suddenly Rainbow’s mind was once again filled with images of Applejack and her doing...things. Try as she might, she couldn’t fight the red coming back to her own cheeks.
“Okay, okay, okay!” Rainbow pulled the hood around her face a little more to try and hide her blush. “No more joking around, how do we get this over with?”
Applejack leaned back against the statue in thought. “I ain’t sure. Seems like neither one wants to admit they still like each other. Maybe it’s like a competition? First one to say ‘I still like you’ loses?”
Rainbow threw her arms in the air in irritation. “Ugh! We don’t have time for this! I have a big air show in two weeks and if I don’t show up to practice, Spitfire’s gonna swap me out!”
“I ain’t exactly got buckets o’ time neither! Mac’s always whinin’ about the time I take off from the farm to go on all these adventures! Keep tellin’ him it ain’t my choice...”
Suddenly, Rainbow pumped a fist in the air. “I’ve got it!” Applejack looked at her inquisitively. “We gotta make ‘em get back together, but neither one wants to admit it? Well then, why don’t we do it for them?”
Applejack gave her that same old look. The one that said ‘I’m not convinced’. “Do I even wanna know what you have in mind?”
Rainbow flashed her a winning smile. “Listen to this!”
THWACK
Rainbow grinned as she smashed the tennis ball back towards Applejack and A.J’s side of the net. To her left, Dash whooped in victory as the two cowgirls failed to reach the ball in time.
“Hah! Thirty to nothing! Getting worried?” Dash crowed. Rainbow smirked. It was the perfect setup. They needed Dash and A.J to go on a date, right? Remind the two of how much fun they had when they were together? Well what could be more fun than a pulse pounding sports game?
“The score ain’t thirty to nothin’!” A.J was red in face, either from exhaustion or irritation. “It’s called thirty-love!” Dash’s eyes widened and an awkward silence followed. “I-I mean...well that’s what it’s called!”
Rainbow face palmed as A.J spluttered through her explanation of the scoring system. The point of the game was to get the two back together, but bringing up the “L” word this early was only going to make things worse.
As the silence worsened, Rainbow spotted Applejack across the net, stomping her leg on the ground twice.
Twice. Right. The signal for “Phase Two”. Applejack had the right idea, Rainbow figured. Distract the humans from their awkwardness and move onto the next stage.
“Uh, hey!” Rainbow dropped her racquet on the ground. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m parched! I’m gonna go get us some drinks. Applejack, you wanna give me a hoof?”
...
“HAND! I mean hand!”
Perfect recovery.
Rainbow and Applejack left the court and ducked behind the nearby concession stand. Inconspicuously as they could, they peeked their heads out to spy on the soon-to-be happy couple.
“That sure was awkward for a moment there.” Applejack muttered.
“Yeah, well obviously that was the other you’s fault.” Rainbow shot back. Applejack should have known that you don’t just throw the “L” word out there unprepared! And if Applejack should have known, then A.J should have known too!
“It ain’t her fault that’s how scorin’ works!” Applejack hissed at her, trying not to draw too much attention from patrons of the sports centre. “Why did you have to pick tennis, if the other you was gonna be so sensitive about hearin’ somepony say the word love?”
“Somebody”.
“Whatever!”
“It’s all good! Maybe using the “L” word will give them a push! We got them alone together, all we have to do is hang back and wait for them to remember how much they like each other!”
“I hope you’re right...”
“Pfft, I’m always right.”
“Uh huh.”
After a moment’s silence, a thought came to Rainbow’s mind. “...Betcha the other me makes the first move.”
Applejack spluttered in offence. “Are you serious? The other me ain’t never gonna wait around to be asked out! She’d totally ask out the other pony first!”
Rainbow gave her a sly look. “Yeah right! I bet the other you has been moping around just waiting for the other me to come and sweep her off her feet!”
“Oh yeah?” Applejack’s eyebrow was raised as ever. “And just how would a bone head like the other you even figure out how to ask somepony out?”
“Well obviously she’d think about how much she likes A.J and...”
Rainbow paused. Trying to think like Dash should be simple. She would just have to think like herself, right? So if she wanted to know how Dash would ask out A.J, the way to figure it out would be to think how Rainbow would ask out Applejack. But to do that, it would mean asking another question.
What exactly would she see in Applejack to want to ask her out in the first place?
Immediately Rainbow tried to get all of those kinds of thoughts out of her head. This wasn’t what they were here for! More than that, thinking about Applejack in...well in any way at all was just weird right now!
Unfortunately, Applejack was still waiting for an answer, giving her that smirk. That stupid, irritating, smirk. That bossy, all-work-no-fun-times-to-be-had smirk. That cute, funny, pretty-
Rainbow’s eyes widened and shook her head. Okay now things were getting really weird. Stupid Applejack, putting thoughts in her-
“Still waiting for an answer Sugarcube.”
Rainbow gave Applejack a shove. “Aw shut up! It’s probably already done anyway. I bet they’re over there making out already!”
Trying (and failing) to dispel the mental image she’d given herself, Rainbow peeked around the concession stand. Applejack followed suit.
“I wouldn’t be so sure o’ that Sugarcube.”
Over on the court, A.J and Dash were standing face to face, either side of the net, apparently in the middle of a shouting match. Applejack and Rainbow gave each other a look and moved up closer to see what was going on.
“I’m tellin’ you, that ball was out, Rainbow Dash!” A.J was leaning over the net, gripping her racquet in a white knuckle fury.
“Are you serious?” Dash threw her racquet on the ground. “You need glasses or something? You don’t need to throw a hissy fit just because you’re losing!”
“I ain’t losin, I’m tryin’ to make sure you play fair!”
“Oh please, you just can’t handle being second best, Applehack!”
Applejack and Rainbow could only watch, jaws hanging open, as their doubles each spun on their heels and stormed away from each other.
Applejack rubbed a hand over her eyes. “Well, I guess they sure are a lot like us.”
“What are you talking about?” Rainbow pointed to her retreating twin. “That Rainbow Dash is a total jerk!”
“Ugh! I don’t get what could have happened!” Rainbow shouted as she lay back on the grass. She and Applejack had managed to catch up with their doubles in order to get rides back to their houses. Figuring it was best to let the two cool off for a while, Rainbow had returned to the portal. Sure enough, Applejack had had the same idea and they had spent the last half hour discussing the failed plan.
“Well o’ course it didn’t work.” Applejack was calmly lent against the portal statue. “We’re s’posed to be gettin’ them back together, not just hangin’ out.”
Rainbow threw a fistful of grass at Applejack, ignoring how the blades fell limply to the ground instead of hitting their mark. “My plan was awesome! They needed to be friends again! It’s not my fault they were too busy thinking about some stupid game!”
Applejack bit back a comment about Rainbow’s hypocrisy before replying properly. “They were already back to bein’ friends because o’ what Twilight did when she was here. We gotta help ‘em take it to the next level. If we’re gonna do this, we need to put them in a more...romantic-like settin’.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
Applejack went quiet as she thought. It should be simple enough, right? Whatever A.J liked, Applejack probably liked the same things. So if they were trying to think of what A.J’s ideal romantic moment with Dash would be, all Applejack had to do was think of what her ideal romantic moment with Rainbow would-
“Uh, Applejack? You feeling okay?” Rainbow was sitting up, looking concerned.
“Huh?”
“Your face is bright red dude! You getting a fever?”
“I... just...shut up.”
“Oh this is so freaking lame!” Rainbow groaned as Dash and A.J were getting flashlights from A.J’s truck.
“Oh what now?” Applejack growled at Rainbow’s whining. “We tried it your way, now we’re tryin’ mine! Least my idea is a little romantic!”
Rainbow folded her arms and regarded the cowgirl with half closed eyes. “A moonlit walk in the woods? Seriously? You get that from one of Fluttershy’s sappy romance novels?”
Applejack refused to answer, settling for muttering under her breath. “Nothin’ wrong with a nice walk in the woods...”
Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea she had ever thought of. Ever since their conversation at the portal, Applejack had been racking her brains to think of a romantic setting. She had to admit, she wasn’t the most...experienced pony when it came to relationships, so she had come up short. Instead, she remembered Granny Smith telling her stories about how Dad had proposed to Mom out in the farm’s northern orchard one night, under the moon. She always remembered being spellbound by the story as a little filly and so she had always considered it as the standard romantic setting.
But now, between Rainbow’s grouchiness and A.J and Dash still acting a little cold to each other after the tennis match, Applejack was starting to think maybe it was just the way Granny told the story that made it sound nice.
Still, A.J had been determined to be a good host when Applejack had suggested the four of them go for a romp in the forest together, so here they were. At the very least, A.J appeared to be enjoying herself.
“Ain’t quite the same as bein’ back on the farm,” she was saying, “but it sure feels good to get outta the city once in a while! Nothin’ like the smell o’ pine trees!” A.J punctuated her statement by sniffing deeply through her nose.
“Ugh.” Dash wrinkled her nose in disgust. “I can smell something alright, but I’m pretty sure it’s not trees. Is there a dead animal somewhere around here?”
“Either that or some animal’s been doing something else out here!” Rainbow spoke up, sniffing the air as well. “Smells like Pinkie’s bathroom after taco night!”
Applejack growled as the two multi-colour haired girls began giggling immaturely. She elbowed Rainbow sharply in the ribs. She was supposed to be here to help set a romantic mood, darn it! Time for some damage control.
“Gotta love that autumn air.” She spoke a little louder than necessary, but she needed to drown out the still chuckling Dash. “Just the way I like it. Not too hot, not too cold. Crisp, but cozy!”
“Speak for yourself.” Dash muttered, rubbing her hands against her bare arms. “It’s freezing out here!” Suddenly, the brown leather jacket A.J had been wearing was flung at the girl.
“Heh, I think you need that more than I do, Sugarcube.” A.J winked at her as she strode on, clearly not bothered by the cold. “Looks to me like you’re turnin’ a mite blue over there!”
Dash groaned at A.J’s pun (Applejack didn’t know why, she thought it was funny), but slipped the jacket on all the same. Applejack perked up. Perhaps this might just work after all. She nudged Rainbow and motioned for the two of them to hang back a little. Perhaps all A.J and Dash needed now was a little privacy.
“This is perfect!” Applejack beamed. “I told you, all we needed was somethin’ a little more romantic!” She turned to grin at the other girl, but whatever words she had next, died in her mouth as the clouds parted away from the moon.
Applejack never had the chance to ask her parents about that night in the orchard. But now, here, in an unfamiliar pine forest in a different world, as she looked at the face of her best friend bathed in the moonlight...Applejack decided she finally had some idea of how they might have felt that night.
As Rainbow looked back at her, she wore a smile that was...well, it was Rainbow. It was cocky, confrontational and childish. Within the next second or two, she was bound to say something immature or snarky. But at the same time her smile was...beautiful. The way the moon lit her face was mesmerising. Applejack had never given much thought to the physical appearance of Rainbow, or any of her friends, or...anypony really. But between her own good mood, the atmosphere of the forest, the light of the moon and Rainbow just...being there...
Then, instead of the stupid remark Applejack was sure would come, Rainbow instead nudged her shoulder against the taller girl. A simple gesture. Nothing special.
And it lit Applejack’s heart on fire.
It was a perfect moment. How could it possibly go wrong?
SQUELCH
“Eww!” Dash’s voice rang out. “What did I step in-oh gross!”
Naturally...
The night went downhill pretty swiftly from there. As Dash had whinged about stepping in something, A.J had not helped matters by making fun of her. Dash had then responded by wiping her shoe off with A.J’s jacket. A.J had retaliated by giving her a slap that was probably harder than necessary and before long, Applejack and Rainbow had had to pull the two off each other before things escalated further. After that the four had returned to civilisation and parted ways for the night in rather downbeat moods.
The next morning, Applejack and Rainbow once again met at the portal.
“So...” Rainbow began the conversation. “How mad was A.J last night?”
“Not great.” Applejack idly kicked her leg against the side of the portal. “Things got worse when it was time for bed. Don’t know why, but she threw one heck of a fit just cuz I didn’t feel like wearin’ the pyjamas she offered me.”
“Really? The other me didn’t seem to care...”
“Anyway, we gotta work harder.”
Rainbow snorted. “That’s your solution to everything!”
Applejack sighed. “Not today Rainbow. Ain’t there been enough fightin’ already?”
“Alright, alright. Sorry.”
That was a surprise. Getting Rainbow to apologise for anything was usually like pulling teeth. Applejack smiled despite herself. It was kind of nice that Rainbow was willing to co-operate. Well, if she could back down, maybe Applejack could too.
“Maybe you were right yesterday.”
Rainbow perked up instantly. “Of course I was! ...Right about what?”
“Alright so how do we do this?” Rainbow asked. “What do you mean ‘we do this for them’? What was wrong with the original plan?”
“Anypony can get those two to hang out.” Applejack stroked her chin thoughtfully. “The Map chose us cuz there’s something that only we can do. And I think we both know what that is.”
“Yeah....hey, yeah!” Rainbow jumped up exactly.
Applejack nodded approvingly. “You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?”
“You know it!” Rainbow gave the farm girl a friendly punch to the shoulder. “You need to go make out with Dash, while I go and make out with A.J!”
“...”
There were times when Applejack believed she had truly seen all there was to see when it came to Rainbow’s ability to miss a point. And then there were days like to day when that belief was proven wrong.
“Okay...okay...” Rainbow paced around, clearly pouring as much thought as possible into her terrible idea. “We should start by going back to their houses and swiping some of their clothes. They’ve already seen us dressed like this, so that would be a clear giveaway-”
“Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow jumped as Applejack shocked her out of her thoughts. “Geez, what?”
“That ain’t even close to what I was talking about!”
“It wasn’t?”
“No! How in the hay do you think that kinda harebrained scheme would even work?”
“What? It makes total sense! You pretend to be the other you while you make out with the other me,” Applejack shuddered at the image as Rainbow continued, “and I pretend to be the other me, while I make out with the other you! They’ll each think the other made up with them and boom! They’re back together! That’s why the Map chose us, we’re the only ones who could pretend to be them! What could possibly go wrong?”
“I gotta a whole list, you wanna write it down?” Applejack muttered sarcastically.
Rainbow dismissed her with a wave. “Oh you’re just jealous cuz you didn’t think of it first.”
“Why would I be jealous for not thinkin’ of a dumb plan like that?”
“Fine! If you think it’s so great, what’s your idea?”
Applejack pinched the bridge of her nose. They were getting too close to another argument. She needed to calm things down and explain properly. “We have to talk to ‘em, Sugarcube.”
“Boring...”
“Do you wanna get back home in time for your air show or not?” Applejack snapped. So much for keeping things calm.
“Okay, okay. Talk to them like how?”
“We gotta talk to ‘em in ways that only we can. Remind ‘em about how happy they used to be. Make ‘em realise what they’re missin’.”
Rainbow seemed to catch on, as she went quiet in thought. Applejack hoped she had got through. The idea of Rainbow’s plan was just...ugh...
“You know what?” Rainbow’s face lit up in a grin. “I think I have just the thing!”
“So A.J’s pretty hot, don’t you think?”
Dash’s eyes snapped wide open as she proceeded to spit out her drink all over the TV screen. Rainbow was torn between laughing at her clone’s reaction and feeling annoyed at not making any progress with her plan.
“Wha-what kind of question is that?” Dash spluttered, still half choking on what little apple juice was left in her throat.
Not a problem. She just had to play it smooth. “What?” Rainbow kept her tone airy and casual. “We’re just hanging out. Nothing wrong with talking about guys. Or...girls in this case.”
Dash, who had been furiously wiping down her TV with an old shirt picked up from the floor, looked up in surprise. “What, suddenly you want to gossip? Are you sure the pony version of Rarity didn’t come through the portal with you, and somehow you got fused together?”
Rainbow picked up a comic from Dash’s bed and threw it at her. “Shut up. I’m just saying, you and A.J used to date, right?” Rainbow couldn’t help noticing a rather pained expression on the other girl’s face at this point. “So you must have thought she was good looking. I mean she has great...”
Rainbow trailed off as she suddenly hit an unexpected complication in her plan.
What do humans find attractive about each other??
She cursed inwardly. The whole plan was to rave about how attractive A.J was, but Rainbow didn’t know where to begin!
“She has great what?” Dash leant back against the wall, arms folded, and a suspicious look on her face.
“Um...you know...great...” What kinds of body parts did humans have again? Oh! That was it! “Fingers! A.J has totally awesome looking fingers!”
Smooth.
“Fingers?” From the weirded out expression on Dash’s face, Rainbow was starting to suspect she may have been a little off course.
“Um, yeah! They’re just really...attractive, y’know? And she has a really...small nose!” Seriously, how did these humans even smell with those things? “I mean that’s just...wow, really gets you hot, huh? That small nose?”
“Um...” Dash looked increasingly creeped out for some reason. “I guess? I mean it’s not that small. Fluttershy’s is probably smaller... It’s not big either, it’s just kinda...average?
Rainbow groaned. Why did this have to be so hard? It would have been so much better if she had been trying to describe Applejack as a pony!
It would be so easy. She could have talked about how long Applejack’s tail was. How it was so big, yet so easily kept out of the way by a simple hair tie. How Applejack could so expertly use it in her rope tricks. Rainbow had always been secretly envious over how dextrous Earth Ponies seemed to be with their tails.
Or she could talk about Applejack’s coat. How it was thin enough to show off her toned muscles and curved flanks, but still thick enough to get all scruffy in that cute way it did whenever the two of them were tussling together.
Or the colour of her Cutie Mark. Rainbow always kind of liked how it was red. She liked how it matched the red strands of her own mane (which was the most prominent colour, of course!) She loved how it stood out on Applejack’s body, how it looked so striking. But at the same time, the apples might have seemed like they weren’t that cool. Certainly not as cool as Rainbow’s awesome lightning bolt!
And yet...those apples just fit her so well. To Rainbow it was like the apples somehow meant that Applejack would always be there no matter what. Even if she had to go away, like the apples did in the winter, she’d still always come back. She’d always be there, whether you messed up a stunt and needed somepony to reassure you that you were still the best around, or whether you wanted somepony to play with, in which case she would totally ditch work for you, even if she did whine about you being a bad influence...
And those eyes! Oh baby, those green eyes! Being up in the sky was like swimming in a field of blue, like your own coat. But whenever you needed to look down to make sure you were where you were supposed to be, there was that deep shade of green. From the glistening blades of grass to the leaves blowing in the wind, it was like she was looking at you, watching over you wherever you went-
“Um, hello? You still in there?” Dash snapped her fingers in Rainbow’s face.
“Bwah! What?” Rainbow jumped back, almost falling off the bed.
“You totally zoned out on me dude! We were talking about A.J? You wanted to know if I thought she was hot?”
“Huh? Oh...yeah! Sure, go ahead!” Rainbow exhaled a few times. It would probably be easier to let Dash talk about Applejack...no, A.J for a bit.
Was her heart beating faster than normal?
“So anyway, don’t tell her I said this, but I was saying one of the best things about A.J is her amazing rack!”
Wondering briefly why Dash was so interested in the Apple farm's tool rack, Rainbow allowed herself to zone out again. It was certainly easier than thinking about any of the things she had been thinking about a moment ago...
“So it didn’t go well?” Applejack plucked a blade of grass from the ground and chewed on it as she sat back against the portal.
“Not...really.” Rainbow tried to keep the blush from her cheeks. “Dash kinda...said some stuff for a bit, but then she got embarrassed and changed the subject.”
“What kinda stuff?”
Rainbow coughed.
“Just stuff.”
“Well, shoot. Thought for sure that would work. Guess the direct approach may be a little too direct for ‘em.”
Relieved that Applejack didn’t press for more information, Rainbow decided to push the conversation in a new direction. “So what now then? Back to square one? Or how about my fake out, make out plan?”
“I have another idea.” Applejack clearly did not seem to feel like dignifying Rainbow’s question with a response. “It ain’t quite as honest as I’d like, but...this is the third day we’ve been here. If we don’t get things to move on soon, Granny’s gonna have to get Big Mac to run the market stand next week. He ain’t never gonna forgive me for that.”
“So what’d you have in mind?”
Dear Rainbow Dash...
Applejack sighed as she hunched over the desk in A.J’s bedroom, her borrowed pen poised over the paper, waiting to strike. The idea didn’t sit right with her, writing a letter to Dash, pretending it was from A.J. But if it would make things right between them, she was willing to do it. There was just one problem.
The words wouldn’t come.
How could she write a love letter? Aside from having never written one before, the task of pouring her heart and soul out to somepony she barely knew, somepony she didn’t feel that way about...it wasn’t just dishonest, it felt impossible.
Perhaps it was best to leave feelings out of it? Just state the situation.
Dear Rainbow,
You may wonder why I’m writing this letter to you, instead of coming out and saying it to your face. The reason for that is...
What was the reason? Why couldn’t A.J just be open about things? Applejack didn’t know.
...well I don’t quite know why I can’t. I thought I knew myself. I thought I knew that no matter what, I would always respect the truth. And that I would always respect other ponies’ peoples’ ability to handle it.
But maybe I was wrong. Maybe honesty isn’t as easy as I thought it was. Maybe pon people can’t always deal with the truth and maybe I have to be more understanding about that.
But this is still honest, isn’t it? What I’m about to say is still the truth, even if you aren’t hearing it in the way you ought to. I don’t know. But I’ve tried to tell you this in a couple of different ways now and nothing has worked so far. This is all I can think of at this point so, here goes...
Applejack took a deep breath.
I’m glad the two of us were able to go back to being friends after what happened before Princess Twilight showed up. And whatever else happens going forward, I hope we’ll always be friends.
But it’s not enough. I’m still in love with
Before she could even finish the line, she groaned and scrawled it out. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t pretend to be somepony she wasn’t. She wished Rainbow was here. She could have used her help right now.
I miss you.
Rainbow wouldn’t have any problem doing this kind of thing. That was one of the irritating things about her. She had no respect for the truth. For honesty. For boundaries, or anything.
You drive me absolutely crazy sometimes, you know that?
But...
But...
Rainbow was so easy to count on. If Rainbow were here, she wouldn’t hesitate to do what needed doing. She’d write the letter without a second thought, and make it look easy while she did it.
I’ve always been able to rely on you. No matter how much you get on my nerves, you’re always there for me. And I miss that.
She thought about that night in the woods. When everything seemed perfect. When it seemed like things were going according to plan. How all it took was a smile and a nudge from Rainbow to make her feel like she was on top of the world.
I love how you make me feel. Everything feels easier when you’re around, even when you’re being a nuisance. I love how you make me feel like I can do more. Everypony always tells me I work too hard. But when you’re there, it doesn’t feel like work anymore, it just feels like fun. I miss the fun.
She remembered A.J’s story about how Dash had comforted her after her version of Winona died. It made Applejack think of times Rainbow had been there for her. How she came to find her in Dodge Junction. How she was ready to beat Flim and Flam into the ground for trying to take the farm. How the two clung to each other in the castle, when they thought the Pony of Shadows was after them.
But I love how you’re always there for the bad times too. When I’m at my lowest moments, you’ve been there to make me feel better. You make me feel like I can get through the worst of situations and you do it all with a smile on your face.
She thought of the times Rainbow and she had argued. The fallouts, the competitions, the name calling. It was shameful at times, to think how Rainbow could drag her down to that kind of level. And yet, the arguments never went too far. They rarely apologised to each other, but that was only because it wasn’t needed.
I know there’s been some friction between us. And I won’t say it would never happen again. Because it will. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe that’s just how we are. We argue, we fight, we get it out of our systems and go back to be friends.
Applejack bit her lip.
But maybe we could be more than friends. What do you think Sugarcube? I miss you. Do you miss me?
Applejack
Applejack let out a sigh. She had considered writing “with love”, but that still felt like she was going too far. Still, it was surprising how easily the letter came to her after all. As she read back over it, she thought of Rainbow again. There was warmth in her cheeks that she couldn’t quite explain.
“It’s simple. Give Dash this letter. Tell her it’s from A.J.”
“A letter? What kind of letter?”
THWACK
“Don’t read it!”
“Ow! Applejack!”
“I ain’t sorry! That letter ain’t for you!”
“Jeez, I was only looking...”
“Just get it to her. And if you try and read it while I ain’t lookin’, don’t expect any cider this season!”
“You’re mean...”
“A letter? From A.J? What’s this about?”
“I dunno, she smacked me when I tried to read it.”
“She’s mean...”
“Sure is. So come on! Read it out!”
“I thought she didn’t want you reading it.”
“She never said I couldn’t have someone read it out loud.”
“Smooth dude!”
“I know, right? So come on! What’s it say?”
“I...I can’t read it.”
“...What?”
Rainbow had been tempted to smack her head against the wall when Dash revealed Applejack’s letter. Apparently the farm girl wasn’t so good at writing when it came to using her hands. Rainbow and Dash had spent half an hour pouring over the random squiggles, but neither of them could make any sense out of it. Rainbow hoped Applejack hadn’t worked too hard on the letter. Would be a shame to have wasted so much time.
But in any case, it didn’t matter. They had tried things Applejack’s way and it didn’t work. Now it was time for Plan B!
It was so simple. Quick and easy. Sure, it’d be embarrassing for her, but hey, nopony would ever know. Just get this done and they’d be back home tomorrow!
Following the directions Dash had given her, it didn’t take long for Rainbow to find the Apple family home. It was surprising how it looked so much like the Sweet Apple Acres barn.
Skirting around to the back of the house, she remembered how Dash had said that A.J’s bedroom was the one on the left. Taking a handful of pebbles from her pocket, specially acquired for the mission, she threw one at the window. No answer.
This would have been so much easier if she could still fly.
Several pebbles later, a light finally switched on and a familiar orange figure appeared at the window and opened it.
“Rainbow? Dash? Which one o’ you is that?”
“It’s Dash! A.J I need to talk to you!”
“Dash, I-”
“Please? It’s really important! Meet me down here in the garden!”
The farm girl groaned in annoyance, but nodded before retreating from the window. Rainbow clenched her fists, half in excitement and half out of nerves. This was it. No going back now. She beat a fist against her chest in frustration, trying to calm down her heart. There was nothing to be scared of! Rainbow Dash did not. Get. Scared.
Presently, the cowgirl appeared at the back door. Okay. Time to turn on the charm. Rainbow put a hand on her hip and the other on the back of her head. This was how women seemed to hold themselves in the magazines she had found under Dash’s bed. There was no way the girl would be able to resist!
“Hey babe.” She said eyes half closed. “Fancy meeting you here.”
The taller girl regarded her with a raised eyebrow. “Dash, it’s three in the mornin’. You got a reason to be here?”
Rainbow tried to ignore the hammering in her chest. Just do it. “I finally decided something A.J. I don’t wanna go on like we are.” Taking a deep breath she lunged forward and grabbed the other girl in a loving embrace. “Be honest. You miss me, don’t you?” She wrapped one arm around her back and her other hand came to rest at the other girl’s backside. This was how they did it in the magazines, so it was all cool, right? Green eyes widened and cheeks flushed a deep red in response. Heh. Poor girl just couldn’t handle Rainbow’s moves.
“Dash, I-”
That was has far as she got. In the time she took to say it, Rainbow had taken one last deep breath, screwed her eyes up tight, and leaned in for the kill.
“Woah.”
Ashamed as she would be to ever admit it out loud, Rainbow had never... actually... kissed anypony before. Not that it mattered. She was sure when the time came, she would be awesome at it. And here now, having her first kiss with a funny looking copy of her best friend, forming a memory that she was sure would embarrass her for years to come, she came to one conclusion.
This was beyond awesome.
The cowgirl’s lips were soft and...kind of spongy. That might sound strange to think about, but it actually felt kind of nice. Rainbow broke the kiss and immediately went in for a second. Heck if it was her first kiss ever, she might has well have fun with it. She could feel her victim tensing up in her arms. Hehe. Poor girl. Clearly she was absolutely smitten. Rainbow would have loved to be able to read minds right now.
Of course, if she could read minds, she would know exactly what the other girl was thinking:
Applejack sighed as she hunched over the desk in A.J’s bedroom. She had been staring at the blank piece of paper for what felt like hours now. She rubbed her eyes in frustration, begging the words to come to her mind.
Suddenly the bedroom door opened, and her double walked in.
“Um...hey Sugarcube.” A.J held her hat in her hands. She appeared nervous. “You mind if I say somethin’?”
“Well sure.” Applejack dropped the pen, almost grateful for the chance to take a break. “What’s up?”
A.J continued wringing her hat. “I really hate to do this. I feel just awful. But I’m gonna have to leave town for a couple o’ days.”
Applejack had not expected this. “Is somethin’ wrong?”
“Not really. They just need me over at the farm. Usually Mac, Applebloom and me don’t head up there until a week or so into summer vacation, but there’s been a bad crop, and well, they need every hand they can get. I’m sorry, I feel just terrible about leavin’ you in the lurch like this.”
Applejack nodded understandingly. “You ain’t got nothin’ to apologise for. I get it. Farm always comes first, right?”
A.J grinned despite herself. “Guess you know what it’s like. It’s too bad. I’d love nothin’ more than to invite you to come up there with us, but I guess you’re gonna be busy here with your own mission, right?”
Applejack’s face fell at this. She hadn’t thought about visiting the farm at all until this point. The idea of getting to see her parents again...
Well perhaps it was for the best. A.J was right. There was a job to be done and right now, seeing them would just be a distraction. Still, her heart ached a little that evening as she watched the Apple siblings pile into A.J’s truck and depart. At least Granny Smith, confused as she was by Applejack’s presence, was staying behind, and doing everything she could to make her guest feel more comfortable.
Applejack was feeling extremely uncomfortable right now. Standing in her double’s garden in the middle of the night, dressed only in flimsy pyjamas (Applejack was beginning to understand why humans wore them) and finding the lips of one Rainbow Dash pressed against her own, she was beginning to wish she had taken A.J up on her offer to see the farm after all.
Although...
As Dash’s tongue pushed its way into her mouth and brushed up against her own tongue...it wasn’t...bad. She knew in a moment she would have to break away and confront the issue. She knew it would be horribly awkward and she knew she would likely never be able to look at Rainbow the same way. But for one moment...just one moment...
A soft moan broke the silence of the night. Applejack jumped as she realised the moan had come from her own mouth. The shock cut through her and the moment was gone. She pulled back and looked her attacker right in the face.
“What...” she panted for breath, “what the heck are you doin’ Dash?”
Dash was panting as well. “I told you.” A predatory smirk played on her lips. Her voice was husky. “I missed this. Don’t you?”
Applejack’s mind raced a mile a minute. After all the friendship problems the Map had told her to solve, she had never had an occasion where the problem solved itself! It didn’t seem right that after coming all this way here, after working so hard, everything seemed to have just worked itself out.
But...maybe that’s why she was here now. Perhaps the Map knew A.J was going to be out of town for a few days? If Applejack hadn’t been here, maybe Dash would have lost her nerve and the two would never have got back together. Even if she told Dash now that she had the wrong Applejack, she might get so embarrassed that she may never dare approach A.J about it ever again. So maybe the Map needed her to...
“Oh horseapples!”
It seemed so cruel. If Dash was so likely to give up, there was only one way to solve this problem. And it meant Applejack was going to have to lie.
“I really hate that map...”
Biting down hard on her tongue, Applejack took a hand and, trying not to think too hard about what she was doing, raised it up and cupped Dash’s cheek. She looked at the blue girl, wearing what she hoped was a romantic look on her face. Dash seemed to tense at her touch. She seemed to look surprised, as if she wasn’t quite ready for her affection to be returned.
“Welp, here goes nothin’.”
With only thing left to do to seal the deal, Applejack leaned forwards. Their lips met again, only now Applejack was the aggressor.
“Oh my...”
The second kiss was even better than the first. Both girls embraced each other again, more confidently this time. Orange hands caressed blue cheeks. Blue hands slipped through blonde hair. Moaning filled the air again, this time from them both.
Once again, they parted.
“You uh...” Applejack took a steadying breath, “you wanna come upstairs for a spell?”
Dash raised an eyebrow. Applejack spluttered as she realised how that may have sounded.
“To hang out!” She clarified, a little too loudly.
“That...that sounds great.” Dash stifled a giggle. “Lead the way.”
Still not entirely sure what she had got herself into, Applejack took the other girl’s hand and led her into the Apple family home’s warm embrace.
Not entirely sure what she had got herself into, Rainbow followed A.J up the stairs. She didn’t take in her surroundings. She was barely even aware of them. Her body numbly followed after the other girl, while her mind raced through everything that just happened.
On the plus side, the plan was a complete success. Of course it was! It was Rainbow’s idea, there was no way it could have failed. Hah! Applejack was going to be so jealous when she found out Rainbow had solved everything. With the plan Applejack had shot down no less!
Applejack...
As the two girls entered A.J’s bedroom, it occurred to Rainbow that Applejack must be somewhere in the house, right? She was probably in a guest room, fast asleep. It was strange to think she was so nearby, when Rainbow had done, and was about to do, certain...things to her identical clone...
And that thought of course, made her think more about those things. First of all, who would have thought A.J was such an amazing kisser? Okay technically Rainbow had never kissed anypony before, so it wasn’t like she had the experience to tell a good kisser from a bad one. But Rainbow had definitely enjoyed their moment outside, so A.J certainly wasn’t bad.
Her heart began to beat faster as a realisation hit her. She had kissed her best friend!
Sort of...
Okay, maybe not her actual best friend, but someone who looked and sounded a lot like her! Half of her couldn’t wait to tease Applejack over that cute little moan her human self had made. But the other half was wondering how she would ever be able to look Applejack in the eye again.
She was beginning to think that maybe...just maybe...this hadn’t been such a great idea after all. What was she supposed to do next? A.J would probably be expecting Rainbow to start kissing her again, right? Rainbow wasn’t so sure she could summon up the nerve this time. How would A.J react to that? Would she feel rejected? Would things fall apart? Had Rainbow just doomed the entire mission?
What even happened if a Map mission was failed anyway?
As A.J turned on a lamp, illuminating the small room in a soft glow, Rainbow took the chance to look her in the eyes. She had a shy smile on her face and she wrung her hands together nervously. Gulping nervously, she could almost have passed for Fluttershy.
A.J sat down on the bed and motioned to Rainbow to join her. Rainbow complied, but found herself wanting nothing more than to sit as far away from her as the bed would allow.
“So...” A.J began.
“So...” Rainbow swallowed. The moment between them down in the garden seemed to be well and truly lost. Rainbow winced. Her heart was beating so hard it almost hurt. She felt trapped. If she were still in her Pegasus body, she would have been half tempted to jump out the window and fly away.
Looking down at her knees, she could feel A.J staring at her. Taking a breath, she forced herself to look up at the other girl.
Heh. Hehe.
A.J’s expression was more nervous than ever. Rainbow realised she must have exact look on her own face.
And that’s when both girls burst into laughter.
Rainbow fell back and sprawled out over the bed, clutching her stomach as she giggled. A.J was still sitting up, but from her position, Rainbow could still see her shoulders, shaking uncontrollably with mirth. A.J was trying to keep her laughter in, but that somehow made the whole thing seem even funnier. Rainbow gave in and let out a massive belly laugh.
“Shh!” A.J moved to the door and closed it, holding a hand to her mouth in a vain attempt to keep the laughter in. “W-we’re –g-go-gonna wake up G-Granny!”
She returned to the bed and the two fought hard to keep their giggling as quiet as possible. A few minutes passed until finally, eyes streaming with tears of laughter, the two finally managed to get themselves under control.
Rainbow lay and sighed happily, still letting out the odd chuckle here and there. After that impromptu attack of the giggles, the tension had been broken and they were able to relax again. A thought popped into her head. And with her relaxed mood it was surprising how quickly the words came to her mouth.
“So uh...you wanna go out some time?” Huh. That was easy.
A.J looked a little taken aback by the request. But then she gave a small grin and shyly nodded her head. In that moment, Rainbow was overcome. A.J just looked so cute, so adorable, so...irresistible. She pulled herself up and pounced.
The two fell back against the bed, lips connected once again. Immediately, all the passion and ferocity they felt in the garden, was back, stronger than ever. Rainbow ran her hands all over the girl, her tongue explored every inch of her mouth. She couldn’t help herself!
Mind you, it was all for the sake of the mission, of course! Yes sir, if she was going to make A.J fall back in love with Dash, it was necessary for Rainbow to show her a good time. Yep. Strictly business. That’s all there was to it.
Nothing else.
At all.
The heat she was feeling was...totally because of something else.
When Rainbow arrived back at Dash’s house in the small hours of the morning, her cheeks were hurting from the uncontrollable smile still etched on her face.
What? She was just happy about the mission being a success.
She shimmied up the tree in the backyard and carefully edged along its outstretched branch. From there, it was simple enough to jump the small gap to the open bedroom window. Clambering inside, she fumbled for the light switch. She knew Dash would be grouchy at being woken up at this hour, but she had to hear the good news. Hah! At this rate, Rainbow could be home tomorrow morning!
Click
Once the light was on however, it only took a moment for Rainbow to scan the room and realised something was missing. Namely, the other Rainbow Dash. There was a note lying on the pillow, where Dash’s head ought to have been. Rainbow snatched it up and started reading.
hey dude!
Rainbow assumed it was addressed to her.
sorry to cut and run like this, but dad came in while i was sleeping and woke me up with a surprise. he’s got tickets for the final game of the season and THE WONDERBOLTS are playing!! i know right??
anyway, the games out of town, so we had to leave early if were gonna get there in time. sorry we cant bring you along, but dad only got three tickets. besides youre probably too busy with that thing you got to do, right?
but on the bright side since mom and dad are with me that means you have the house to yourself for a while! theres a spare key under the mat you can borrow to get in and out. see you in a few days!
THE DASHSTER
As Rainbow read the note, a few thoughts crossed her mind.
Thought number one: She had the house to herself! No more sneaking around! Unlimited time with the Daring Do video game! Cool!
Thought number two: Hehe...”number two”...
Thought number three: She was missing out on the Wonderbolts. Not cool.
Thought number four: The next step in Rainbow’s plan was to tell Dash about the date she had set up with A.J. Now Dash was going to miss it. Also not cool.
Thought number five: How would she explain to A.J that the date was off? A.J might not take that well. In fact, she might get mad. So mad, she might not even want to date Dash once she got back to town! Very not cool.
Thought number six: That meant the best way to make sure everything turned out okay...would be for Rainbow to go on the date with A.J herself...
Applejack smirked as she sent the ball flying back to Dash’s side. She had to admit, when Dash first suggested coming back to the tennis court for their date, she was sceptical. Aside from it not really seeming like the most romantic thing to do, she was afraid of things going wrong like they did before.
But so far, she had been enjoying herself. By staying on opposite ends of the court, there hadn’t been much opportunity to talk. As a result, all her concerns about awkwardness after last night were put to rest. There was no uncomfortable silence as they struggled to think of what to say to each other. Just smashing a ball back and forth, with some good old friendly trash talk thrown in for good measure.
THWACK
Applejack squawked in surprise, as Dash’s return shot took the hat right off her head.
“Hah! Maybe that’ll teach you to stay awake!” The blue girl hollered.
Okay, so maybe the trash talk was getting a little old.
...
And she could have done without the victory dance as well.
Still, she had to admit it was cute in a way. The look of absolute glee on Dash’s face was just heartbreakingly precious, the jumps and spins were completely adorable, and even the way she kicked her legs up was-
Well anyway, the point was, as much as Applejack hated to lose, perhaps she could compromise once in a while.
Oh heavens to Betsy, now she was doing the belly dance again...
Rainbow couldn’t help laughing out loud as she prepared to end her victory dance with a grand finale. She bent her knees, jumped up and threw her head backwards.
THUD
“Shoot! You okay there Dash?”
What was supposed to be the greatest back flip the world had ever seen, had ended with Rainbow falling flat on her back.
Stupid two-legged, no-winged body...
Determined to save face, she jumped back up as nimbly as her aching body would allow and flipped her hair back in a “no really, I totally meant to do that” kind of way. Fortunately A.J seemed to buy it and the two returned to their game.
Rainbow let out another laugh as she dived to send A.J’s fast ball back. This was a date! She had been totally right, of course. Nothing made for a romantic getaway quite like a fast, fun game of tennis. Hah! Next time she saw Applejack, she was totally gonna rib on her for how wrong she had been!
Although...
She had to admit that while she missed having her double to join in with the smack talk, it was somehow more fun this time around. As she leapt up and smashed the ball back down again, she caught a glimpse of A.J’s face and felt that she understood why.
There was no denying Applejack could be a major stick in the mud. Never playing when she could be working, always putting a stop to jokes and pranks in case they went too far and hurt somepony’s feelings. But right here, right now...
A.J seemed to be having the time of her life. The way she licked her lips in anticipation as the ball came towards her. The way her brow furrowed and her teeth clenched as she sent it roaring back. The look of unbridled joy whenever Rainbow missed a return, earning A.J the point.
No doubt about it, A.J was enjoying this. And somehow...
That made Rainbow enjoy it all the more.
VROOM
Applejack flinched as the vehicle (they were called ‘karrs’ according to A.J) sped past the couple. She hated city life so much. So much noise. And it was even worse here in the human world. These horseless carriages were so fast. They kept racing up behind her, buffeting her in a wind tunnel. Some of them even blared horns that seemed to be designed specifically to pierce her ear drums and rattle her teeth.
She looked up to the sky. She wanted to see the moon and pretend it was the night her father proposed to her mother. But she couldn’t see it tonight. The lanterns that lit up the street left it invisible.
She hated the city.
But, this was the spirit of compromise. Dash had suggested playing tennis again, so Applejack had suggested another romantic walk. But Dash had compromised by toning down the competitiveness as much as she could, so Applejack figured it was only fair to take a walk somewhere Dash would be more comfortable with.
VROOM
HONK
Applejack let out a growl as another one of those things blasted by. She couldn’t resist the urge to clamp her hands over her ears. She was starting to get flashbacks of being in Manehattan.
Suddenly she felt a slight weight around her shoulders. She looked around to see Dash with her arm around her. Dash eased Applejack’s hands away from her ears. Then, with a certain amount of blushing and desperate trying to look like she was too cool for any of this, Dash took Applejack’s hand into her own, lacing their fingers together.
Applejack couldn’t help feeling a warmth spread inside of her. It was like Dash’s presence was giving her something to focus on. Something to blot out all the noise around her. She bit her lip and smiled as Dash rested her head against the taller girl’s shoulder. Applejack sighed happily and leant in as well.
She looked up at the street lights. They may not have been the moon, but she had her own source of light for her romantic stroll.
Rainbow was in a raging battle against her own mouth. She wanted to look cool, but her stupid, traitorous lips kept wanting to pull back into a goofy smile. But how could anypony blame her? She had just handled what could have been a bad situation in the smoothest way possible.
Rainbow liked noise and bright lights. Even as a little child, she refused to play with any toys that didn’t light up and make sounds. So while she had been less than enthusiastic about A.J’s suggestion of another walk, she appreciated the change of scenery from forest to city. This was her kind of environment! The whoosh of the traffic! The drunken singing of passersby! The horns! The yelling! It was the kind of thing that made her feel alive.
And yet, the moment she saw the effect it had on A.J, it was like the sounds were all shut off at once. She knew A.J had picked the city for her sake. And she appreciated it. But she also didn’t like to see A.J suffer on her behalf. So she paid the favour back. A.J had given her what she wanted. Now she gave A.J what she needed.
Walking along, hand in hand, heads together, Rainbow no longer noticed the noise around them. Instead she noticed the noise coming from her own body. Her hard beating in her chest as A.J squeezed her fingers. The blood pounding in her ears as they snuggled into each other. It was a different kind noise.
But it would do the job.
Maybe a romantic walk wasn’t such a lame idea.
The third and final activity of the night was dinner at a restaurant. Not the most original idea perhaps, but Applejack felt that if this “relationship” was to really be set in stone, there needed to be a point where the two were able to talk to each other.
Applejack flinched when she saw the amount of meat available on the menu. She half remembered some warning from Twilight’s lecture about human diet and her recommendation about sticking to the vegetarian section.
Disappointed to not find hay anywhere on the menu, she nonetheless picked the cabbage soup. As Dash was making her own order, Applejack engrossed herself with reading through the rest of the menu. It was interesting to see how human food differed from pony food. And it was even more interesting to see what dishes were the same.
Her absorption in the menu was certainly not anything to do with the pressing issue in that she had no idea what to talk about! It wasn’t a case of awkwardness at this point. Surprisingly enough, the date so far had actually been very enjoyable. It wasn’t too different from her usual hang outs with Rainbow back home. It was always fun doing stuff with her. In fact, the way Dash had been tonight, it was maybe even a little more fun than it usually...
But that wasn’t the point! A.J and Dash needed to connect emotionally and since A.J wasn’t here, Applejack was going to have to do it for her!
But what could she possibly talk about without giving away the game? She couldn’t mention...well...anything about her usual life, in case A.J’s experiences were different! She couldn’t even ask Dash about her life in case A.J already had. Oh how Applejack hated lying...
“So...” Dash spoke up. Applejack gulped. She had taken too long! Now Dash was going to raise a subject she wouldn’t know anything about!
“So...” Not much of a response. But it was all she had at this point.
“This whole thing with those pony version of us is pretty crazy, huh?”
Huh. That would work. That would work just fine. Applejack could talk plenty about that situation without Dash ever catching on!
“Uh...eeyup, sure is.” Applejack stumbled to find the words. “Heh...can you imagine what it must be like? Traipsin’ all over the place all cuz a map told you to?”
“Hah! I know, right? Like, how do you think that thing even works? You think it’s alive or something?”
Applejack chuckled to herself. She remembered Rainbow asking the same thing once, not long after she and Pinkie had returned from their first duo mission. “Darned if I know. Guess with all that magic they live with, must be real normal to them.” The words flowed easily now. Applejack had wondered about the Map before. But she had learned not to question Unicorn magic a long time ago and simply figured the Map was just another example of it.
“It’s weird though.” Dash lowered her voice slightly as the food was brought to their table. “I mean, they look like us, they sound like us...” she paused as she took the biggest possible bite out of her toasted cheese sandwhich, “but there’s so much about them and us that’s different.”
Applejack giggled to herself. She was tempted to reprimand Dash for talking with her mouth full. But it was kinda cute...
But more importantly, she had to find a way to move the conversation away from small talk. They had to make a connection. She racked her brains as Dash prattled on about the differences between the two worlds. She needed something that wasn’t too heavy...but something that was more personal. Something...intimate. She remembered A.J telling her about Dash comforting her over the death of Winona...
“Didja know Applejack’s parents in their world are dead??” She blurted out.
“...”
That might have been a little too intimate...
Rainbow stared at A.J in shock, mouth hanging wide open.
Which certainly didn’t help her coolness factor when a large chunk of toasted cheese sandwhich fell out onto her lap...
She barely even noticed it however, moving her legs slightly so it simply dropped to the floor. What was she supposed to say to that? Here they were, supposed to be on a romantic date and A.J just went and dropped that kind of bomb on her? She opened and closed her mouth a few times experimentally. What was the romantic way to answer that kind of question?
“Wow...dude...that sucks, huh?”
That wasn’t it.
A.J seemed to tense at her response. “Hehe...yep...pretty messed up, huh?” She seemed to be rubbing the back of her head, eyes fixed on the ceiling. “C-can’t imagine what that must be like. I mean...think of it. Findin’ out there’s other versions o’ you and your friends...but other people...” A.J seemed to grow more downcast. She gazed into her bowl of barely touched soup. “People you love just...ain’t there...”
Rainbow’s mind raced. She had to find a way to salvage this date before it got too depressing. If she couldn’t find a way to cheer A.J up, the whole mission would be a bust. This was part of dating, right? What kind of special somepony would Rainbow be if she couldn’t make her date feel better.
“Heh...yeah...” Rainbow begged and pleaded her brain to think of words to say. “That’s pretty messed up...”
A.J seemed to look both more nervous and depressed at the same time.
”No! Bad brain! Wrong thing to say! Think!
A.J’s shoulder sagged. Rainbow tensed up. She hadn’t often seen Applejack cry, but if A.J was anything like her, Rainbow could recognise the signs. But thinking of Applejack didn’t help here. Applejack never talked about her parents and Rainbow never asked. It always seemed to her like Applejack knew how to handle it...
Oh.
Oh that could work.
“Well...y’know...” Rainbow started, “I never would have guessed just by looking at her. I guess that means she’s over it, yknow?”
She caught a look from A.J that seemed to be a split second away from a glare.
“W-well not over it exactly! I mean like...it seems like she’s got it down. I mean, it looks like she can handle it.” She thought about how Applejack had been over the last few days. Taking charge of the mission, always thinking of ideas to solve the problem. “I mean, for all I know, maybe she’s totally torn up on the inside. But like I said, you’d never guess from looking at her. She always looks like she’s in control. So...maybe that’s a good thing?”
“How do you mean?” A.J’s voice was soft.
“Well...I mean let’s say the same thing happened to you...” Rainbow winced as A.J seemed to flinch at that. “Not to say it will! But if it did...well you guys are a lot alike. So if she can handle it, I bet you could too.”
“But...what if she ain’t handlin’ it?” A.J’s voice was even softer.
“Then she’s doing a radical job of pretending! Like, totally! It’s like...my parents drive me nuts sometimes, y’know? But if anything...happened to them...” Rainbow felt compelled to knock her fist against the wooden table, “I just...I dunno how I’d be. But if Applejack is hurting, she sure as heck makes it look easy...”
Rainbow let a breath out. It was surprisingly shaky. She’d never really thought about Applejack in that way before. Sure, she had been thinking about Applejack in a lot of ways she hadn’t before recently, but now... If the past few days had taught her that Applejack could be fun, this was the first time she really saw her as...admirable.
It almost made her feel bad about herself. He she was, just coasting along while Applejack was managing life on top of this tragedy on top of it all.
She was stirred from this thought by the feeling of a soft grip on her hand. She looked down to see A.J’s hand grasping hers.
She looked up to see A.J gazing at her, eyes glistening. Lip quivering.
Before she could say anything, A.J had leaned in, and their lips met.
Rainbow grinned into the kiss. Maybe Applejack could handle life.
As Applejack pulled back from the kiss, she was surprised to find herself not blushing with embarrassment. Oh the thought was there, certainly. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was vaguely aware that she had just initiated a kiss with a version of Rainbow without any real need to. She had heard enough from Rarity about dating to know that it wasn’t “proper” to kiss until the end of a date, so it wasn’t like it had been expected of her. Really her actions just now were, by all rights, somewhat forward. And yet when she searched for answers why her body would do such a thing, she came to one conclusion.
She didn’t care.
Forget being “proper”, forget doing things the way her parents might. Heck, forget the Map and its dumb mission. All she cared about right then and there was that had been one of the nicest things Rainbow had ever said to her.
Alright, technically it was the nicest thing Dash had ever said to her and admittedly, Dash had not said a whole lot to her in the time they had known each other, at least not compared to Rainbow.
But if Dash could say such a thing, Rainbow could too. It was irritating sometimes, to think Rainbow saw her as a rival. Only caring about beating her, about proving herself better. Anytime Rainbow picked up on one of Applejack’s flaws, she was so quick to crow about her superiority. But this proved that Rainbow was capable of...admiring her? Respecting her? Thinking highly of her? Not that Applejack wanted to be put on a pedestal or anything, her grandmother had raised her not to have a swelled head.
But still...
It was nice to think Rainbow was capable of giving out respect. And Applejack appreciated it. It didn’t even bother her to caress Dash’s cheek and brush a strand of yellow and orange hair from the girl’s eyes. She wasn’t trying to be romantic. She just wanted Dash to be aware of her gratitude.
Rainbow was mentally high fiving herself. A.J had brought the date so close to brink of disaster and then Rainbow swooped in and saved it all? Freakin’ score one for The Dashter!
Even the kiss was kind of nice. As A.J rubbed her cheek, Rainbow couldn’t help but nuzzle into it just a little. She had been proud of herself for kissing A.J the first time. It took a lot of guts to do something so weird and Rainbow had done it without hesitating!
Much...
But this kiss had felt better somehow. As if she had really earned it. It wasn’t handed to her because she had taken it, or even given to her because A.J had mistaken her for Dash. Even if this kiss was technically meant for Dash, Rainbow had been the one to say the words.
But even that wasn’t the half of it. Seeing the smile return to A.J’s lips, the light return to her eyes, hearing her giggle softly as Rainbow gave her a mischievous wink. The idea that she had been so sad a moment ago, yet Rainbow had pulled her back from it and made her feel better... It created a bubbly feeling in her stomach pulled her face into the goofiest grin possible.
Rainbow decided she liked it.
Eventually dinner came to an end. All things considered, it could have gone much worse. All the same, Applejack was eagerly looking forward to getting out of there. She was feeling exhausted yet restless, and not a little confused. Some time alone would help to set her mind straight.
The “couple” took their bill up to the bar, having already agreed to split things fifty-fifty. Applejack took a number of bits from her pocket and deposited them on the counter. Her “date” did the same. The barista eyed their money with disdain.
“Um, the bill is for twenty seven dollars and eighteen cents.” She picked up some of the bits and held them out for Applejack’s inspection. “What are these?”
Applejack’s mind began racing. Dohlurs? What were dohlurs? She double checked the bill. The number at the bottom was preceded by a symbol she didn’t recognise. Looking around, she noticed other customers paying for drinks and food, only they weren’t using bits. Some were handing over pieces of green paper while others were presenting differently coloured plastic cards.
She started to panic. If they didn’t have the right type of money, how were they going to pay for their meal? How could Dash not have known this? And come to think of it, if bits weren’t money in this world, why would Dash be using them anyway? How would she even have any to begin...with...
Eyes and mouth wide open, she turned to face Dash. Dash was looking at her with the same expression.
“Rainbow?”
“Applejack?”
“I can’t believe you.” Applejack muttered, picking up the next plate and dunking it into the hot soapy water. Since neither girl had any human money the restaurant had forced them to spend the rest of the night working as kitchen porters to pay off their meal. As she got more and more used to them, Applejack did have to admit that her new fingers were actually pretty useful when it came to cleaning dishes.
That point brought her little comfort in the wake of the revelation that her best friend had been pretending to be somepony else in order to date her.
Somebody else.
Whatever.
“For the last time,” Rainbow was saying, “how was I supposed to know it was you? I called you A.J, you should have told me who you really were!”
“I tried!” Applejack flicked water at the other girl in irritation. “But you had your tongue down my throat before I could get two words out!”
“Didn’t hear you complaining about it at the time!” Rainbow flicked water back. Applejack’s face turned bright red and she barely noticed that some soap had got right in her eye.
“Shut up!” She snarled back viciously. “We do our time here, then we go back to our other selves’ houses. Tomorrow we come up with a new plan. Once the mission’s done, we high tail it outta here, head home and never speak o’ this ever again!”
“Yeah? Well that goes double for me!”
“Well it goes triple for me!”
“Well-”
“Hey girls!”
Applejack and Rainbow turned away from the sink to find a waitress. A waitress who looked an awful lot like Pinkie Pie if she were a human.
“Whatcha guys dooooin’?”
Rainbow dropped the knife she had been cleaning. If she didn’t drop it she would have been tempted to stab herself and end the torment. Bad enough that she was enduring this humiliation with Applejack, but now the other version of Pinkie (who of course would just happen to work at this restaurant, why wouldn’t she??)knew about it?
“Uh, hey Pinkie.” Rainbow gulped. Pinkie wouldn’t know that they weren’t their human clones, right? Maybe another lie could solve all of this. “So funny story, A.J and me were just hanging out having dinner, and it was her turn to pay, but it turns out genius over here forgot her wallet!”
Rainbow ignored Applejack’s furious glare. If she didn’t want Pinkie to know the truth, she would have to play along. Would serve her right for flicking water like that.
“So yeah, now we have to work off our debt. Crazy, huh?”
“Well why didn’t you say so, silly billies!” Pinkie chirped. “I can cover your meal for you!”
“Aw shucks Pinkie, you don’t have to-” Rainbow clamped a hand over Applejack’s mouth. Trust her to turn down a chance for them to get out early!
“That’s awesome Pinkie, we really appreciate it!” Rainbow caught Applejack glowering at her. “I mean, y’know, we’ll totally pay you back tomorrow, absolutely!”
Pinkie violently shook her head, hair flying everywhere, yet curiously the waitress’ pencil tucked behind her ear stayed in place. “Nuh uh! This one’s on the house! Least I can do for my favourite-est couple ever!”
“Uhh...what’re you talkin’ about there, Pinkie?” Applejack spoke up nervously.
“Well duh! Me and the other waitresses have been watching you two all night from the kitchen! You guys were soooo cute! We had a pool going to see who would kiss who first!” She gave Applejack a nudge in the ribs. “You won me like seventy bucks! I can easily cover your meal!” She gave Applejack another nudge. “I knew you’d do it first. The itch in my ear, the ache in my knee and the twitch in my thigh told me so! Although that last one may have just been my phone...”
Rainbow and Applejack both remained silent. The idea that Pinkie and who know who else had been watching them all this time... Rainbow felt the blood return to her face. Suddenly the events of the meal no longer made her feel bubbly. Everything she said, everything she did, that stupid goofy smile! All of it had been on show to this dumb restaurant!
“Soooo, how long have you girls been back together?”
Rainbow ignored Pinkie’s probing for gossip. She thought of all the other customers. Had they been staring too? Didn’t they have anything better to do? Oh jeez, how corny must she have sounded when she was talking about Applejack’s parents? Rainbow decided right then and there, as soon as she got home, she was never dating anypony! Better to die an old spinster than face any more embarrassment! How much worse could it get?
“Cause I like to see you smile, smile, smi-”
Rainbow was jerked from her thoughts by the sound of song suddenly filling the room. She watched in confusion as Pinkie pulled a small device, kind of like the one Sunset had used when they first arrived, from her pocket and pressed a button.
“Yyyyyello?” Pinkie held the device up to her ear. “Oh hey Rainbow Dash!...Awww, that’s too bad about the game...so when are you coming back?...Awesome! I’m almost done with my shift, why don’t you come on over?...Yeah sure, bring her along too!...Cool, see you in a bit, buh-bye!”
Rainbow stared as Pinkie returned the device to her pocket.
“So hey!” Pinkie spoke. “Turns out Dashie’s Wonderbolt game got cancelled, so she’s heading home. Applejack’s done on the farm too, so Dashie and her family are picking her up and they’re all on their way here now!”
Rainbow stared at Pinkie.
Pinkie stared at Rainbow.
Applejack stared at Pinkie.
Pinkie stared at Applejack.
Pinkie stared at Rainbow and Apple-
“Waaaaaiiiiit a minute!”
Applejack rested her head against the picnic table. The night air was particularly cooling after the heat of working in the kitchen. She, Rainbow and Pinkie were sitting outside the restaurant, awaiting the arrival of Dash and A.J. They were going to be here any minute, it had taken this long to explain to Pinkie that they weren’t who she thought they were. Pinkie had responded with a dozen questions. Applejack had ignored them.
“Are you guys sleeping together? Who likes to be on top?”
“PINKIE!”
Well most of them.
She couldn’t believe how this night had gone. After starting out as something to dread, to turning out to be fun, sweet and even a little romantic...to now suddenly so mortifying. And the worst part was, she only had herself to blame. Well, herself and Rainbow.
Mostly Rainbow.
But this just reaffirmed what Applejack had always known. Lying never ended well. She knew they should have just talked to Dash and A.J to begin with. Oh, but they hadn’t wanted to talk about it? Well too darn bad! Applejack decided that the moment she saw them, she was going to grit her teeth and hash this all out! No more lies, no more secrets, everything on the table!
“How do ponies do it anyway? Do wings and horns come into it at all?”
“PINKIE!”
Well...maybe not everything on the table.
Rainbow psyched herself up as two familiar figures approached the restaurant. It had been decided that the whole thing would be too awkward to explain to Dash’s parents, so Dash and A.J had simply asked to be dropped off nearby.
“Now remember Pinkie,” Rainbow whispered to the other girl, “let’s keep everything on a need to know basis. They don’t need to know what we were doing in the restaurant. As far as you know, we were just hanging out, nothing more, you know nothing!”
“Got it!”
“Good.”
“Wait a second!” Rainbow groaned at the ponderous look on Pinkie’s face. “If I know nothing, doesn’t that mean I know something? I mean, I guess nothing is technically the opposite of something, but still, to say I know nothing, instead of, I don’t know anything still means I know...”
“Hey guys!” Dash mercifully interrupted Pinkie’s language/philosophy debate. “What’s going on, we having a party?”
“Yep!” Pinkie jumped up. “It’s a ‘Pony Applejack and Pony Rainbow Made Out in a Restaurant Because they’re Totally Sleeping Together’ party!”
Rainbow stared at Pinkie.
Applejack stared at Pinkie.
Dash stared at Pinkie.
A.J stared at Pinkie.
Pinkie turned to look at what they were all staring at.
Pinkie turned back.
“Ohhhhhh, don’t tell Dashie and Jackie that Pony Rainbow and Pony Applejack made out in a restaurant because they’re totally sleeping together. My bad!”
Everyone else continued to stare at her. Then, in one voice:
Rainbow could only stare dumbly at Pinkie, who had apparently grown bored of the bombshell she had just dropped, and was now entertaining herself by seeing how many times she could jump over her own leg.
Her record so far was zero.
It was as if time was standing still. Rainbow knew that sooner or later, she would have to look over at her companions and start answering a whole lot of awkward questions. How could her brilliant plan have gone so wrong? It was all Applejack’s fault, obviously! If she had just agreed to the plan when Rainbow first came up with it, it would have happened before Dash and A.J had gone out of town! Then there wouldn’t have been any mix up and Rainbow wouldn’t now be standing here, willing herself to grow her wings back so she could just fly away from the whole mess.
Although…
If everything had gone off without a hitch, Rainbow supposed that would mean she and Applejack wouldn’t have gone on that date. That would have been a shame, the date had been kind of fun. Especially that last kiss…
Gah! No! Focus! That date was a complete disaster and could have been totally avoided! And it was all Applejack’s fault. Stupid Applejack! She was dumb and an idiot and a dumb idiot!
“Uhh...” It seemed that Dash was finally finding her voice. “What the heck is going on here?”
Applejack watched A.J turn to her. She drew a breath and braced herself. It was time to face the music. She growled to herself. Of course this would all go wrong. How could this ridiculous plan have ever gone right? It was all Rainbow’s fault, naturally! If she had just agreed that her idea was stupid and gone with the boring yet practical solution of talking the problem out, they wouldn’t be in this mess!
Well...probably...
If Dash was anywhere near as stubborn as Rainbow, she probably wouldn’t have wanted to talk things out. Rainbow was always so easily embarrassed. Try and bring up a subject like this with her and she’d probably clam up and refuse to talk. Either change the subject and make a dumb joke, or just run away. Stupid Pegagsus...
...And if Applejack was going to be completely honest with herself...well maybe this wasn’t her strong suite either. If somepony approached her to try and start a conversation about such an embarrassing subject...well Applejack wouldn’t just run away, no sir! But she would probably have to be dragged kicking and screaming into it...
But here they were. There was no getting away from the conversation now. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, maybe Rainbow’s actions might end up serving them after all.
And hey, even if the whole event was terrible, at least she had got a nice date out of it, right? It might not have been quite like the stories she had heard of her parents, but it would certainly be a nice yarn to tell to her own children one day... Urgh! Darn it! Pay attention! She had to deal with the situation at hoof, not get all misty eyed at one of Rainbow’s brainless stunts!
“Sugarcube?” It seemed A.J had questions. “I thought you said you and Rainbow weren’t-”
“We ain’t.” Applejack cut her twin off. “Pinkie got it wrong, we ain’t datin’.”
“Pinkie got it wrong?” Dash mumbled sarcastically. “Well there’s a first.”
A.J silenced her with a nudge and then turned back to Applejack. “So what’s goin’ on here?”
Applejack took a deep breath. No going back now. “We know you two wanna get back together.”
She paused to observe the effects of her words. It was immediate. Dash and A.J were spluttering and blushing madly. Any attempt they made at protest or denial was impossible to make out over their indignant cries.
“I understand!” She shouted over them. “I get that it’s embarrassin’ to talk about this stuff! But you gotta face up to it, or you ain’t never gonna get back together!”
“Woah, woah, woah!” Dash cut in. “Who says I even want to get back together? You don’t know what I want!”
“Well duh!” Rainbow spoke up. “That’s why the Map sent us here!”
Dash turned to her, bug eyed. “Seriously? That’s what your stupid Map does? It’s got nothing better to do than mess with other people’s lives?”
“Um...well...pretty much.” Rainbow replied, scratching the back of her head. “Seriously, it’s like, always sending us to places to fix other ponies’ problems. Bunch of ponies not getting along? The Map sends us in to sort it out.”
“That’s...really, really dumb.”
“Eh, y’know...gotta keep busy...”
“The Map picks us to sort out problems that only we can sort out.” Applejack cut in. “I think that’s why it was Rainbow and me who got picked for this one. You two are similar to us in a lot o’ ways. I figure the Map knew you two would be embarrassed to talk about your problems and sent us cuz we’d know what it was like to be you. Better than anypony.”
“Anybody.” Rainbow corrected.
“What. Ever.”
“Just trying to help.”
“Anyway,” Applejack took a moment to steady herself, “I can tell you miss each other. And I know it’s hard to go back on things that were said a long time ago. But you gotta push through. The last couple o’ days have been a lesson in facin’ up to embarrassment, both for Rainbow and for me. Things may have got...weird...but we can’t let that stop us from chasin’ the things we want out o’ life. Now you two broke up over a misunderstandin’, I get it. There’s been lot o’ misunderstandin’s goin’ round lately.” She shot a look at Rainbow who grinned sheepishly. “But there ain’t no other way out o’ this. You gotta talk to each other about how you feel. You gotta reach a point where you understand-”
SMOOCH
...
Applejack was rendered speechless by Dash suddenly grabbing A.J with both hands and planting the biggest kiss on her lips possible.
“What....what...what....” Applejack was barely able to speak. “What in tarnation are you doin’?”
“What?” Dash replied. “You said we need to get back together, so yeah, gettin’ back together.”
“But you can’t do it like that!”
“Just did it.”
“But you’re s’posed to talk about your feelin’s and problems and stuff!”
“You said that was gonna be embarrassing.”
“That’s the point!” Applejack roared. “You’re s’posed to push through that and understand each other better!”
“Or we could skip all the embarrassing stuff and cut straight to begin back together.” Dash replied, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
“But...but...you can’t do that!”
“Oh yeah? Watch.” Dash turned to A.J. “Hey babe, you wanna get back together?”
A.J looked back and forth between Applejack, now close to foaming at the mouth with anger, and Dash, giving her the best bedroom eyes she could muster. “Um...o-okay?” She responded nervously. She then grinned and leant in for another kiss. “WHAT THE HAY??” Rainbow roared at the top of her voice. “You mean we went through all that stuff pretending to be you guys, going out on a fake date and getting found out by Pinkie, just for you girls to get back together because we told you to??”
A.J pulled back from Dash, sheepish but still smiling. “You really went through all that?”
“YES!”
“Well...I’m sorry you two went to so much trouble...but maybe that was the Map’s plan the whole time!”
“What do you mean?” Rainbow asked, folding her arms defensively.
“Well...I guess you’re right, we can both be a mite stubborn at times, “A.J ignored Rainbow’s incredulous snort, “so maybe the Map knew we were too embarrassed to approach each other. So maybe it figured if the two o’ you did somethin’ embarrassin’, it would show us to not make the same mistake...”
All the rage building up in Rainbow suddenly vanished, replaced by sheer astonishment. “So you mean to say, the Map chose us not because we would know you and understand you better than anypony-”
“Anybody.” Applejack cut in helpfully.
“WHATEVER! You’re saying the Map chose us because it knew we would screw things up badly enough that you two would just decide not to make the same mistake??”
“Well when you put it that way, it seems kind o’ harsh...” A.J chuckled nervously. “Maybe it’s a combination of the two?”
“I...hate...that...Map...”
Applejack and Rainbow could only stare as their doubles eagerly returned to their make out session, Pinkie even stirring from her leg jumping competition to give them a massive group hug. The two stepped away to give them some privacy. The awkward silence was broken before it could really set in, by a familiar buzzing sound.
“Well I guess that settles it.” Applejack murmured, rubbing her thigh as the Cutie Mark beneath her clothing signalled their victory. “Congratulations, partner?”
Rainbow flinched. “Can you...not call me ‘partner’ right now?”
“Sorry...”
The night passed more or less without event for Applejack. A.J had been nice enough to not ask questions about the events of the past few days, leaving Applejack to wallow in her humiliation in peace. It had grown a little tiresome when A.J had spent hours on her device, ‘tecksting’ Dash nonstop. Eventually Granny Smith herself had to come in and tell A.J to turn it off and go to sleep. She didn’t seem to pay any attention to Applejack. Applejack wasn’t sure if Granny simply didn’t understand the concept, or just didn’t care.
Still, it had gone better than Rainbow’s night. Dash had pestered her with incessant questions about her pretend date, collapsing in hysterics every time Rainbow had admitted even the slightest detail. Eventually Rainbow could take it no more and an epic pillow fight ensued. It turned out scrapping with herself was a lot rougher than her usual fights with Applejack, seeing as Dash had no interest in enforcing Applejack’s usual ‘no biting’ rules. Eventually the two burned themselves out, but there were a rather shocking amount of bruises the following morning.
After breakfast, Applejack, Rainbow, A.J and Dash met up at the portal. The human girls had offered to introduce the pony girls to some of their other friends and show them more of their world, but the two ponies politely declined. They were eager to get home and return to their normal lives.
More importantly, they were especially eager to be out of each other’s company for a while. The two had barely spoken a word to each other all morning, and whenever one caught the other’s eye, they were quick to look in opposite directions, blushing furiously.
Nonetheless, they were willing to give their human selves big hugs as they finally stepped towards the portal. But as Applejack turned to leave...
“One more thing.” A.J spoke up. “Um...I know it ain’t exactly the same but... I was thinkin’...maybe... you might like to keep this.” She held out a small slip of paper.
Applejack took it and looked. It was one of the pictures from the album A.J had shown her on their first day here. It was very simple. Just her, Applebloom, Big Mac and Granny Smith. And two other faces. Different, but not unfamiliar. They were all standing together in front of a big red barn. No tears came, but Applejack felt her throat tighten.
“I...I can’t take this,” she said, “it belongs to you-”
“I got plenty o‘ pictures of ‘em.” A.J cut her off. “I think they’d want you to have it.”
Applejack didn’t know what to say. So instead, she gave her other a big hug.
“Make out!”
Both Applejacks turned and regarded Dash with a flat look.
What?” She asked. “It’s not cheating!”
“Good luck with that ‘un.” Applejack said to herself, laughing.
“Don’t worry.” A.J winked at her. “I’ll soon put ‘er in her place.”
Applejack nodded and removed her hat. She placed the photograph securely inside and returned it to her head.
“Okay, well it’s been fun,” Rainbow called, while pushing Applejack towards the portal, “but if you’ll excuse us, we need to not be here anymore, so bye!”
“Rainbow!” Applejack admonished her. “Don’t be so-”
Before she could finish the sentence, the two disappeared through the portal. Dash and A.J stood together, hand in hand as they looked over the statue for a moment.
“We really should check out the pony world sometime.” Dash said. “It’s gotta be so cool to be able to fly all the time.”
“Eeyup.” A.J agreed. “Sure sounds a lot easier to pick apples by buckin’ the trees instead o’ pickin’ ‘em one by one.”
“Oh yeah?” Dash raised her eyebrows suggestively. “You wanna come back to my place and try a little ‘bucking’ of our own?”
A.J laughed and gave Dash a light punch to the shoulder. “Maybe in a couple o’ years. But let’s go anyhow. Betcha I can kick your butt on that Darin’ Do game o’ yours!”
“Oh you are on! Last one there has to use the player two controller!”
And with that, the two girls sprinted off, laughing together.
“-rude!” Applejack suddenly found herself falling forwards and landed on her hands. Except they weren’t hands anymore, they were hooves again. She looked up and breathed a sigh of relief to find she was back in the castle.
“You’re back!” Twilight was looking up from the Map, a book laid out in front of her, of course. “How did it go? What was the mission? Did you guys get up to any fun while you were there??”
Applejack looked at Rainbow.
Rainbow looked at Applejack.
“I gotta get home!” Applejack blurted out. “Lotta chores on the farm to catch up on!”
“I need to check in at the base!” Rainbow was quick to add. “If I make it in time, Spitfire won’t cut me out of the show!”
“B-but wait!” Twilight called as the two raced for the door. “I have so many questions!”
SLAM
“Aww...”
Outside the doors of the castle, Applejack and Rainbow stared at each other for a moment.
“Never happened?” Applejack asked.
“Never happened.” Rainbow confirmed.
With that, the two ponies turned on their heels and immediately walked away from each other.
It was a good twenty seconds before they each realised they were heading in the wrong direction and were forced to turn around.
“Never happened.” They both agreed as they briefly passed each other.
It had been a little over a week since the trip through the portal and Applejack was feeling moody. She hadn’t been when they first got back. As with any adventure she had with her friends, a ton of farm work had piled up in her absence and, like always, she threw herself into it.
Of course, she had caught up by the fourth day and ever since, something felt off. She had been out tilling the soil in the east field, preparing for the planting of next season’s crops. She had paused to remove her hat and fan away the heat of the sun.
In doing so, she heard the tiny flutter of a photograph slipping out of the hat and falling to the ground. As she picked it up, she saw it was the same picture that the other A.J had given her. The one of her parents.
She had shown the picture to Big Mac, but it he seemed too saddened to want to look at it again. Granny hadn’t really understood what it was all about, despite Applejack trying three separate times to explain the concept of alternate realities. And Applebloom simply didn’t remember them well enough to appreciate the picture.
So it was decided that the picture would stay with Applejack, rather than find a place in their albums. While she appreciated her family’s gesture, sitting here now, in her room looking at it, she felt a certain emptiness.
It was so stupid. They’d been gone a long time. It wasn’t like Applejack spent every waking moment missing them. Why was she obsessing over it now?
As she gazed more at the photo, the memory of another one bubbled up to the surface in her mind. The other A.J and Dash, sharing a kiss at the krissmuss party. Her mother looking at the couple so happily.
“When I got too wrapped up in myself, Dash just had a way of pulling me out of it.”
Applejack rubbed her muzzle thoughtfully. She hadn’t seen Rainbow since they got back. The thought of seeing her again after everything that happened was just too mortifying. But...she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss her. A little.
Then, instead of the stupid remark Applejack was sure would come, Rainbow instead nudged her shoulder against the taller girl. A simple gesture. Nothing special.
And it lit Applejack’s heart on fire.
Applejack shook her head vigorously. Nope! She was not going to get misty eyed about that. Rainbow had been nothing but trouble during that trip!
“I’ve always been able to rely on you. No matter how much you get on my nerves, you’re always there for me. And I miss that.”
Well... Maybe Rainbow hadn’t been all bad. Heck, at times it had even been kind of...fun...
There was no uncomfortable silence as they struggled to think of what to say to each other. Just smashing a ball back and forth, with some good old friendly trash talk thrown in for good measure.
But that didn’t mean anything! Rainbow was fun to hang out with, sure. But a relationship? Applejack didn’t understand her human twin sometimes. What could anypony see in that loudmouthed feather duster?
It was the wrong Dash. But she had to keep it up. She pushed back against the kiss. Their front teeth bumped together but she didn’t even care. When Dash’s tongue entered her mouth, her heart skipped a beat.
Okay... So maybe she missed Rainbow. Maybe she was reliable. Maybe she was fun to be around. And maybe she wasn’t the most unattractive option on the dating scene... But that didn’t mean Applejack felt-
Forget being “proper”, forget doing things the way her parents might. Heck, forget the Map and its dumb mission. All she cared about right then and there was that had been one of the nicest things Rainbow had ever said to her.
That was it. Her mind was made up. Resolving to buy a picture frame for the photo first thing tomorrow, Applejack got up and purposefully strode out of her bedroom.
BANG
The door to the farm house was violently kicked open and a streak of orange fur blitzed through. It wasn’t like Applejack to be so rough with her family home. She wasn’t usually so reckless. Heck, she hadn’t even told Granny where she was going.
But none of that mattered right now.
What mattered was there had been a hole in her for some time now. She thought it had been made when she learned her other self’s parents were still alive. And maybe they were. But they weren’t what she needed. She didn’t need some copy of her loved ones, who didn’t even know her.
What she needed was somebody who knew her. Somebody who treated her right. Someone who made her heart sing.
...
Somepony...
...
Whatever...
Applejack approached the cloud house with trepidation. She screamed at her own heart to stop pounding so hard. For all her determination, she couldn’t help but feel the sting of fear as she drew nearer to her target.
But never let it be said that Applejack was not a mare of her word. Even if she hadn’t said anything out loud, she had promised herself she would do this!
She looked around until she spied the right tool for the job: a small stone, lying by the side of the road. She picked it up and threw it up and down a few times experimentally, testing its weight. It would do. It would do just fine.
She looked up to her target: a window in the side of the house which she knew to be the master bedroom. Squinting in the sun, she stuck her free hoof in her mouth and then held it up to the wind. No cross breeze. Nothing to stop her now.
With one final breath to steady herself, she wound back and heaved the stone towards the window with all of her might. A bit strong for such a small stone perhaps, but it was necessary to clear the distance.
Of course it wasn’t strictly necessary. It would have been just as easy to simply call up. Or borrow Twilight’s balloon and fly up. Or ask Twilight herself to take a message.
In fact there were many alternate possibilities that played through Applejack’s mind.
Just as the stone made contact with the window.
“OW!”
And sailed straight through it.
Gosh darned Pegasi cloud construction...
Applejack sheepishly rubbed one foreleg with the other as a very irate blue Pegasus, sporting a nasty looking bump on her head, flew down to the ground to locate the source of her afternoon nap’s interruption.
“Uhh...h-hey there Sugarcube.” Applejack called out. “You feelin’ okay there, partner?”
Rainbow touched down and rubbed her head irritably. “Well that’s one way to wake up.”
“Heh...sorry ‘bout that darlin’. I was just tryin’ to get your attention.”
“Yeah, you got it alright. Was that really the only way you could say hello?”
“Well I didn’t think you’d be asleep in bed at four-thirty in the afternoon!” Applejack was being a little defensive, if not slightly dishonest. Of course Rainbow would have been asleep at this hour, that’s why Applejack sought out the bedroom specifically. But to be fair, if Rainbow didn’t nap during the day so much, she wouldn’t have been in the pathway of the stone...
“Whatever.” Rainbow said dismissively. She always got dismissive when somepony gave her grief about her sleeping habits. “Did you want something, or are you just here to give me a hard time?”
Applejack cursed to herself. She had already expected this to be awkward, but Rainbow’s mood was steadily making the situation worse. Maybe it’d be best to come back another time...
“...Okay, well if you aren’t gonna say anything, I’m gonna head back to bed.”
Dang it! Rainbow was turning to leave. Even if Applejack didn’t do it now, she had to try and improve things between the two of them. Rainbow was flexing her wings, preparing for take off! Applejack needed to do something now!
“You wanna go out on a date sometime?”
“...” Well that was one way to do it...
Rainbow stared dumbfounded at Applejack. It seemed to take a moment for her to find her voice.
“Did...did you just ask me what I think you asked me?”
“Well...I guess that depends on what you think I asked you...”
“I...think you asked me out on a date.”
“Well then, I reckon I did.”
“I...I wasn’t expecting that.”
“I can imagine.”
“Yeah...”
“Eeyup.”
“Huh...”
“Mhmm.”
“Right.”
“...So?”
“So?”
“So is that a yes or a no?”
“I don’t understand.”
“Why not?”
“Why would you want to...I mean, why?”
“Why not?”
“I thought I drove you crazy during that mission.”
“You sure as sugar did.”
“Uh huh...”
“But...I’d be lyin’ if I said that weren’t some of the best fun I’ve had in a good long while.”
“Really? Uh...I mean, yeah, of course it was the most fun you’ve had in ages! They don’t call me Rainbow Most Fun You’ve Had In Ages Dash for nothing! I’m like, the party queen of fun, dude! Pinkie’s got nothing on me, I-”
“Rainbow Dash!”
“Oh! Sorry, got...carried away...yeah?”
“Still waitin’ for a yes or no here.”
“...”
Kissing as a human had been a strange, if not entirely unpleasant experience. But when Rainbow shot forward and pressed her lips against Applejack’s, the farm girl was certain of one thing.
Kissing was so much better as a pony.
The two wrapped their forelegs around each other, not caring one bit who might see them. Applejack gasped when Rainbow knocked the hat off her head and stroke her mane. Rainbow moaned when Applejack’s hooves slipped down to her wings and massaged them gently but firmly.
At last the two separated. Applejack looked at Rainbow and grinned.
“So I guess I won, huh?”
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“Remember the first tennis match? I told you A.J wouldn’t wait around to be asked out. Guess that means I won.” Applejack couldn’t resist the immaturity of sticking her tongue out.
“Nuh uh!” Rainbow pushed her muzzle against Applejack’s. “I asked you out first!”
“What? When??”
“That night at A.J’s house! I asked you out, you said yes. I win!”
“What?” Applejack spluttered. “That don’t count! You thought you was askin’ A.J out, not me!”
“Nuh uh, totally counts!”
“Oh yeah??” Applejack fumed for a moment...then she smiled. “Well I bet I can beat you in a match o’ tennis!”
“Oh really?” Rainbow grinned. “Well I bet I can beat you at a walk through the woods!”
“That ain’t a sport Rainbow...”
“Your Mom’s not a sport!”
“Alrighty then. Loser pays for dinner at Sugarcube Corner?”
“Sounds like a date to me!”
With one more quick kiss on the lips, the couple ran off at top speed toward the park for a nice romantic game of tennis.
