• Published 31st Jul 2017
  • 4,822 Views, 107 Comments

Self Help - Tyro



When Applejack and Rainbow are sent to the Equestria Girls universe to solve a friendship problem, it seems the ones with the problem to solve are...themselves?

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Find Yourself

“Sooo, any idea where we’re supposed to be going?” Rainbow fluttered around the throne room impatiently. Her Cutie Mark had been buzzing for the past quarter hour, but something was amiss.

“I don’t understand.” Twilight was staring at the Map in frustration. Two symbols, a rainbow shaped lightning bolt and a trio of apples were circling each other. While that wasn’t out of the ordinary, the problem was that they were still circling over the Map’s representation of Twilight’s castle.

“Rrrgh,” Rainbow growled, “how are we supposed to solve a friendship problem if we don’t know where it is?” She pawed at the Marks as if she could somehow force them to start moving.

“Is it possible that the problem is comin’ from the castle itself?” Applejack spoke up, glancing around the throne room as if to make the friendship problem materialise out of thin air.

“What problem could there be in here?” Twilight asked. “There’s only the three of us. I mean... do either of you two have any problems?”

“Not really.” Applejack replied.

“My only problem is that the stupid Map’s broken...” Rainbow muttered to herself.

“Simmer down Rainbow.” A.J reprimanded her. “I’m sure Twilight can figure this out.”

“Actually, it may not be me who has to do it.” Twilight responded. “The Map only ever picks the ponies it needs to complete the mission. That includes figuring out what the mission is. Maybe it’s up to the two of you to work out where to go.”

“But that’s not how it worked before!” Rainbow hovered over the map and gestured at it wildly. “The Map is supposed to show us! And what the heck is that humming sound?” She looked around, growing more irritable by the moment.

“Humming sound?” Twilight asked. “What hum-” She cut herself off as suddenly, she began to hear it too. A.J also perked up, looking around to try and determine the source. “Oh wait, that’s just the portal to the other world.” She walked over to a small door set into the wall and opened it with her magic, revealing the portal behind. “Spike and I set this into the wall a while ago. It can get hard to concentrate on other things when it glows so bright. I wonder why it would be hummi-... what are you staring at?”

“Um, Twilight?” Applejack was rubbing her temple, a somewhat exhausted look on her face. “Does that thing normally hum?”

“Not really.”

“So how long has it be doin’ that?”

“I don’t...I mean I probably would have noticed if it had been doing it for a while.”

“Heh. She means Spike would have noticed.”

“Shut up Dash.” Applejack approached the portal. “What I mean is, if it only started hummin’ a little while ago-”

“That’s it!” Twilight gasped, her eyes lighting up in excitement. “The friendship problem is through the portal!

...

...

...

“I am gonna get so behind on my farm work...”


“All done!” Twilight declared, snapping a book shut. “Now all we do is wait!”

Applejack and Rainbow looked up from the bags they were packing. Neither one looked pleased at the Alicorn who appeared to be sitting around doing nothing.

“Um, what exactly are we waiting for?” Rainbow asked.

“I just wrote to Sunset Shimmer to let her know the two of you are coming.” Twilight replied, proudly holding up the book for them to see. “It can be kind of strange going to new world like theirs. It might help you to have somepony...or somebody in this case, show you around.”

“Guess that makes sense.” Applejack grunted, pulling the straps on her saddle bags tight. “Hey, does this mean we’re gonna be meetin’ ourselves?”

Rainbow gasped and shot into the air. “Yeah! You said there’s one of each of us of the other side, right? I wanna meet the other me! Finally somepony who can keep up with me!” Rainbow caught A.J looking at her with narrowed eyes. “What?”

“I expect they’ll be around.” Twilight replied, pulling another book from a nearby shelf. “But you need to be prepared for what you’ll see.”

“Pfft, what’s to prepare for?” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “They’re just like us except they walk on two legs and have no wings or magic. Heh, I almost feel sorry for the other me. It’s gotta suck not having any wings. Imagine having to walk everywhere!”

“I’m standin’ right here...”

“It can be more disconcerting than you think, Rainbow.” Twilight sat on her throne and opened the book. “But since it may take some time for Sunset to respond, I can take some time to school the two of you on what to expect. After my various trips through the portal, I wrote down a number of notes and speculations.”

“I mean us Earth Ponies may got no wings, but there ain’t no need to go on about it...”

“Oh come on Twilight!” Rainbow sat in her own throne and folded her forelegs in a huff. “You went through the portal the first time without knowing what to expect. I’m pretty sure we can handle it.”

“Personally, I’m happy without spinnin’ ‘round the sky like some silly bird. Just ain’t natural...”

“It doesn’t hurt to be prepared Rainbow. You have a mission beyond just learning how to get by in this world. Now settle down, this won’t take long.”

“Family built this whole darned town without no fancy wings, don’t see us makin’ a big deal outta-”

“Um, Applejack?” Rainbow looked over at the cowgirl who was now idly kicking a rear hoof against the wall. “You coming to this lecture or what?”

Applejack sighed. “I’ma comin’, keep your mane on...”


“-and another important thing to remember is that when humans extend the middle finger - I told you guys about fingers, right? - but keep the other fingers curled up, that is considered to be a very rude gesture which should absolutely never be used-”

THUNK

The lesson came to an abrupt end as a dozing Rainbow Dash’s head suddenly made loud contact with the back of her throne. An irritated Twilight looked up from her book to survey the scene. Rainbow apparently hadn’t noticed the hard bump to her head as she was still asleep. Applejack was still awake, but had long ago abandoned any pretence of looking like she was paying attention, and now leaned against Rainbow’s throne, staring off into space.

“Fine.” Twilight huffed. “I’ll just pack the book with you.”

The sounds of a scuffle caught her attention and she looked back at the two. Mid slumber, Rainbow’s head had moved from her throne to Applejack’s shoulder. There was a certain amount of personal space Applejack was prepared to have violated, but evidently Rainbow crossed the line when she had begun drooling over Applejack and had received a sharp elbow to the ribs as punishment. Rainbow immediately took the chance to smack her back and the whole situation had devolved into a petty slap fight.

Twilight was just considering whether to break it up or sneak off to the kitchen for a snack while this thing sorted itself out, when she heard a buzzing sound coming from her other book. The sound also interrupted the throw down occurring off to her side, and the three mares gathered around the book to see what was going on.

“Aha!” Twilight exclaimed. “Sunset replied! Let’s see... ‘Dear Twilight, I’m not sure I understand everything about this Map or any friendship problems (though I’ll make sure to examine the extra documents you attached explaining the concept when I have more time), but Applejack and Rainbow are at the portal now, ready for your versions to arrive. They’re looking forward to meeti-‘”

“Yeah, yeah, we get it!” Rainbow slapped Twilight’s hoof away from the book. “Now come on, are we getting on with this mission or what? Anymore reading and I’m going to go insane!”

“And that’s any different from normal?” Applejack muttered.

“What was that?”

“Nothin’.”

Rainbow eyed Applejack suspiciously for a moment before dismissing it. She grabbed her saddlebags and threw them on her back. She then picked up A.J’s and threw them to the cowgirl, ignoring her irritated protests, and galloped headlong towards the portal.

Applejack rolled her eyes as the Pegasus disappeared in a flash of light. She turned to Twilight and gave her a hug.

“Thanks for all the advice Sugarcube. You sure that thing’s gonna stay open? I don’t want Granny worryin’ ‘bout me.”

“It’ll be open for as long as you need. If there’s any trouble you can just step back through. Or ask Sunset to write me. Good luck.”

A.J gave the princess a wink, turned to the portal and sprinted towards the light.

TO BE CONTINUED...