Do It Yourself
“Alright so how do we do this?” Rainbow asked. “What do you mean ‘we do this for them’? What was wrong with the original plan?”
“Anypony can get those two to hang out.” Applejack stroked her chin thoughtfully. “The Map chose us cuz there’s something that only we can do. And I think we both know what that is.”
“Yeah....hey, yeah!” Rainbow jumped up exactly.
Applejack nodded approvingly. “You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?”
“You know it!” Rainbow gave the farm girl a friendly punch to the shoulder. “You need to go make out with Dash, while I go and make out with A.J!”
“...”
There were times when Applejack believed she had truly seen all there was to see when it came to Rainbow’s ability to miss a point. And then there were days like to day when that belief was proven wrong.
“Okay...okay...” Rainbow paced around, clearly pouring as much thought as possible into her terrible idea. “We should start by going back to their houses and swiping some of their clothes. They’ve already seen us dressed like this, so that would be a clear giveaway-”
“Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow jumped as Applejack shocked her out of her thoughts. “Geez, what?”
“That ain’t even close to what I was talking about!”
“It wasn’t?”
“No! How in the hay do you think that kinda harebrained scheme would even work?”
“What? It makes total sense! You pretend to be the other you while you make out with the other me,” Applejack shuddered at the image as Rainbow continued, “and I pretend to be the other me, while I make out with the other you! They’ll each think the other made up with them and boom! They’re back together! That’s why the Map chose us, we’re the only ones who could pretend to be them! What could possibly go wrong?”
“I gotta a whole list, you wanna write it down?” Applejack muttered sarcastically.
Rainbow dismissed her with a wave. “Oh you’re just jealous cuz you didn’t think of it first.”
“Why would I be jealous for not thinkin’ of a dumb plan like that?”
“Fine! If you think it’s so great, what’s your idea?”
Applejack pinched the bridge of her nose. They were getting too close to another argument. She needed to calm things down and explain properly. “We have to talk to ‘em, Sugarcube.”
“Boring...”
“Do you wanna get back home in time for your air show or not?” Applejack snapped. So much for keeping things calm.
“Okay, okay. Talk to them like how?”
“We gotta talk to ‘em in ways that only we can. Remind ‘em about how happy they used to be. Make ‘em realise what they’re missin’.”
Rainbow seemed to catch on, as she went quiet in thought. Applejack hoped she had got through. The idea of Rainbow’s plan was just...ugh...
“You know what?” Rainbow’s face lit up in a grin. “I think I have just the thing!”
“So A.J’s pretty hot, don’t you think?”
Dash’s eyes snapped wide open as she proceeded to spit out her drink all over the TV screen. Rainbow was torn between laughing at her clone’s reaction and feeling annoyed at not making any progress with her plan.
“Wha-what kind of question is that?” Dash spluttered, still half choking on what little apple juice was left in her throat.
Not a problem. She just had to play it smooth. “What?” Rainbow kept her tone airy and casual. “We’re just hanging out. Nothing wrong with talking about guys. Or...girls in this case.”
Dash, who had been furiously wiping down her TV with an old shirt picked up from the floor, looked up in surprise. “What, suddenly you want to gossip? Are you sure the pony version of Rarity didn’t come through the portal with you, and somehow you got fused together?”
Rainbow picked up a comic from Dash’s bed and threw it at her. “Shut up. I’m just saying, you and A.J used to date, right?” Rainbow couldn’t help noticing a rather pained expression on the other girl’s face at this point. “So you must have thought she was good looking. I mean she has great...”
Rainbow trailed off as she suddenly hit an unexpected complication in her plan.
What do humans find attractive about each other??
She cursed inwardly. The whole plan was to rave about how attractive A.J was, but Rainbow didn’t know where to begin!
“She has great what?” Dash leant back against the wall, arms folded, and a suspicious look on her face.
“Um...you know...great...” What kinds of body parts did humans have again? Oh! That was it! “Fingers! A.J has totally awesome looking fingers!”
Smooth.
“Fingers?” From the weirded out expression on Dash’s face, Rainbow was starting to suspect she may have been a little off course.
“Um, yeah! They’re just really...attractive, y’know? And she has a really...small nose!” Seriously, how did these humans even smell with those things? “I mean that’s just...wow, really gets you hot, huh? That small nose?”
“Um...” Dash looked increasingly creeped out for some reason. “I guess? I mean it’s not that small. Fluttershy’s is probably smaller... It’s not big either, it’s just kinda...average?
Rainbow groaned. Why did this have to be so hard? It would have been so much better if she had been trying to describe Applejack as a pony!
It would be so easy. She could have talked about how long Applejack’s tail was. How it was so big, yet so easily kept out of the way by a simple hair tie. How Applejack could so expertly use it in her rope tricks. Rainbow had always been secretly envious over how dextrous Earth Ponies seemed to be with their tails.
Or she could talk about Applejack’s coat. How it was thin enough to show off her toned muscles and curved flanks, but still thick enough to get all scruffy in that cute way it did whenever the two of them were tussling together.
Or the colour of her Cutie Mark. Rainbow always kind of liked how it was red. She liked how it matched the red strands of her own mane (which was the most prominent colour, of course!) She loved how it stood out on Applejack’s body, how it looked so striking. But at the same time, the apples might have seemed like they weren’t that cool. Certainly not as cool as Rainbow’s awesome lightning bolt!
And yet...those apples just fit her so well. To Rainbow it was like the apples somehow meant that Applejack would always be there no matter what. Even if she had to go away, like the apples did in the winter, she’d still always come back. She’d always be there, whether you messed up a stunt and needed somepony to reassure you that you were still the best around, or whether you wanted somepony to play with, in which case she would totally ditch work for you, even if she did whine about you being a bad influence...
And those eyes! Oh baby, those green eyes! Being up in the sky was like swimming in a field of blue, like your own coat. But whenever you needed to look down to make sure you were where you were supposed to be, there was that deep shade of green. From the glistening blades of grass to the leaves blowing in the wind, it was like she was looking at you, watching over you wherever you went-
“Um, hello? You still in there?” Dash snapped her fingers in Rainbow’s face.
“Bwah! What?” Rainbow jumped back, almost falling off the bed.
“You totally zoned out on me dude! We were talking about A.J? You wanted to know if I thought she was hot?”
“Huh? Oh...yeah! Sure, go ahead!” Rainbow exhaled a few times. It would probably be easier to let Dash talk about Applejack...no, A.J for a bit.
Was her heart beating faster than normal?
“So anyway, don’t tell her I said this, but I was saying one of the best things about A.J is her amazing rack!”
Wondering briefly why Dash was so interested in the Apple farm's tool rack, Rainbow allowed herself to zone out again. It was certainly easier than thinking about any of the things she had been thinking about a moment ago...
“So it didn’t go well?” Applejack plucked a blade of grass from the ground and chewed on it as she sat back against the portal.
“Not...really.” Rainbow tried to keep the blush from her cheeks. “Dash kinda...said some stuff for a bit, but then she got embarrassed and changed the subject.”
“What kinda stuff?”
Rainbow coughed.
“Just stuff.”
“Well, shoot. Thought for sure that would work. Guess the direct approach may be a little too direct for ‘em.”
Relieved that Applejack didn’t press for more information, Rainbow decided to push the conversation in a new direction. “So what now then? Back to square one? Or how about my fake out, make out plan?”
“I have another idea.” Applejack clearly did not seem to feel like dignifying Rainbow’s question with a response. “It ain’t quite as honest as I’d like, but...this is the third day we’ve been here. If we don’t get things to move on soon, Granny’s gonna have to get Big Mac to run the market stand next week. He ain’t never gonna forgive me for that.”
“So what’d you have in mind?”
Dear Rainbow Dash...
Applejack sighed as she hunched over the desk in A.J’s bedroom, her borrowed pen poised over the paper, waiting to strike. The idea didn’t sit right with her, writing a letter to Dash, pretending it was from A.J. But if it would make things right between them, she was willing to do it. There was just one problem.
The words wouldn’t come.
How could she write a love letter? Aside from having never written one before, the task of pouring her heart and soul out to somepony she barely knew, somepony she didn’t feel that way about...it wasn’t just dishonest, it felt impossible.
Perhaps it was best to leave feelings out of it? Just state the situation.
Dear Rainbow,
You may wonder why I’m writing this letter to you, instead of coming out and saying it to your face. The reason for that is...
What was the reason? Why couldn’t A.J just be open about things? Applejack didn’t know.
...well I don’t quite know why I can’t. I thought I knew myself. I thought I knew that no matter what, I would always respect the truth. And that I would always respect other ponies’ peoples’ ability to handle it.
But maybe I was wrong. Maybe honesty isn’t as easy as I thought it was. Maybe pon people can’t always deal with the truth and maybe I have to be more understanding about that.
But this is still honest, isn’t it? What I’m about to say is still the truth, even if you aren’t hearing it in the way you ought to. I don’t know. But I’ve tried to tell you this in a couple of different ways now and nothing has worked so far. This is all I can think of at this point so, here goes...
Applejack took a deep breath.
I’m glad the two of us were able to go back to being friends after what happened before Princess Twilight showed up. And whatever else happens going forward, I hope we’ll always be friends.
But it’s not enough. I’m still in love with
Before she could even finish the line, she groaned and scrawled it out. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t pretend to be somepony she wasn’t. She wished Rainbow was here. She could have used her help right now.
I miss you.
Rainbow wouldn’t have any problem doing this kind of thing. That was one of the irritating things about her. She had no respect for the truth. For honesty. For boundaries, or anything.
You drive me absolutely crazy sometimes, you know that?
But...
But...
Rainbow was so easy to count on. If Rainbow were here, she wouldn’t hesitate to do what needed doing. She’d write the letter without a second thought, and make it look easy while she did it.
I’ve always been able to rely on you. No matter how much you get on my nerves, you’re always there for me. And I miss that.
She thought about that night in the woods. When everything seemed perfect. When it seemed like things were going according to plan. How all it took was a smile and a nudge from Rainbow to make her feel like she was on top of the world.
I love how you make me feel. Everything feels easier when you’re around, even when you’re being a nuisance. I love how you make me feel like I can do more. Everypony always tells me I work too hard. But when you’re there, it doesn’t feel like work anymore, it just feels like fun. I miss the fun.
She remembered A.J’s story about how Dash had comforted her after her version of Winona died. It made Applejack think of times Rainbow had been there for her. How she came to find her in Dodge Junction. How she was ready to beat Flim and Flam into the ground for trying to take the farm. How the two clung to each other in the castle, when they thought the Pony of Shadows was after them.
But I love how you’re always there for the bad times too. When I’m at my lowest moments, you’ve been there to make me feel better. You make me feel like I can get through the worst of situations and you do it all with a smile on your face.
She thought of the times Rainbow and she had argued. The fallouts, the competitions, the name calling. It was shameful at times, to think how Rainbow could drag her down to that kind of level. And yet, the arguments never went too far. They rarely apologised to each other, but that was only because it wasn’t needed.
I know there’s been some friction between us. And I won’t say it would never happen again. Because it will. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe that’s just how we are. We argue, we fight, we get it out of our systems and go back to be friends.
Applejack bit her lip.
But maybe we could be more than friends. What do you think Sugarcube? I miss you. Do you miss me?
Applejack
Applejack let out a sigh. She had considered writing “with love”, but that still felt like she was going too far. Still, it was surprising how easily the letter came to her after all. As she read back over it, she thought of Rainbow again. There was warmth in her cheeks that she couldn’t quite explain.
“It’s simple. Give Dash this letter. Tell her it’s from A.J.”
“A letter? What kind of letter?”
THWACK
“Don’t read it!”
“Ow! Applejack!”
“I ain’t sorry! That letter ain’t for you!”
“Jeez, I was only looking...”
“Just get it to her. And if you try and read it while I ain’t lookin’, don’t expect any cider this season!”
“You’re mean...”
“A letter? From A.J? What’s this about?”
“I dunno, she smacked me when I tried to read it.”
“She’s mean...”
“Sure is. So come on! Read it out!”
“I thought she didn’t want you reading it.”
“She never said I couldn’t have someone read it out loud.”
“Smooth dude!”
“I know, right? So come on! What’s it say?”
“I...I can’t read it.”
“...What?”
Rainbow had been tempted to smack her head against the wall when Dash revealed Applejack’s letter. Apparently the farm girl wasn’t so good at writing when it came to using her hands. Rainbow and Dash had spent half an hour pouring over the random squiggles, but neither of them could make any sense out of it. Rainbow hoped Applejack hadn’t worked too hard on the letter. Would be a shame to have wasted so much time.
But in any case, it didn’t matter. They had tried things Applejack’s way and it didn’t work. Now it was time for Plan B!
It was so simple. Quick and easy. Sure, it’d be embarrassing for her, but hey, nopony would ever know. Just get this done and they’d be back home tomorrow!
Following the directions Dash had given her, it didn’t take long for Rainbow to find the Apple family home. It was surprising how it looked so much like the Sweet Apple Acres barn.
Skirting around to the back of the house, she remembered how Dash had said that A.J’s bedroom was the one on the left. Taking a handful of pebbles from her pocket, specially acquired for the mission, she threw one at the window. No answer.
This would have been so much easier if she could still fly.
Several pebbles later, a light finally switched on and a familiar orange figure appeared at the window and opened it.
“Rainbow? Dash? Which one o’ you is that?”
“It’s Dash! A.J I need to talk to you!”
“Dash, I-”
“Please? It’s really important! Meet me down here in the garden!”
The farm girl groaned in annoyance, but nodded before retreating from the window. Rainbow clenched her fists, half in excitement and half out of nerves. This was it. No going back now. She beat a fist against her chest in frustration, trying to calm down her heart. There was nothing to be scared of! Rainbow Dash did not. Get. Scared.
Presently, the cowgirl appeared at the back door. Okay. Time to turn on the charm. Rainbow put a hand on her hip and the other on the back of her head. This was how women seemed to hold themselves in the magazines she had found under Dash’s bed. There was no way the girl would be able to resist!
“Hey babe.” She said eyes half closed. “Fancy meeting you here.”
The taller girl regarded her with a raised eyebrow. “Dash, it’s three in the mornin’. You got a reason to be here?”
Rainbow tried to ignore the hammering in her chest. Just do it. “I finally decided something A.J. I don’t wanna go on like we are.” Taking a deep breath she lunged forward and grabbed the other girl in a loving embrace. “Be honest. You miss me, don’t you?” She wrapped one arm around her back and her other hand came to rest at the other girl’s backside. This was how they did it in the magazines, so it was all cool, right? Green eyes widened and cheeks flushed a deep red in response. Heh. Poor girl just couldn’t handle Rainbow’s moves.
“Dash, I-”
That was has far as she got. In the time she took to say it, Rainbow had taken one last deep breath, screwed her eyes up tight, and leaned in for the kill.
“Woah.”
Ashamed as she would be to ever admit it out loud, Rainbow had never... actually... kissed anypony before. Not that it mattered. She was sure when the time came, she would be awesome at it. And here now, having her first kiss with a funny looking copy of her best friend, forming a memory that she was sure would embarrass her for years to come, she came to one conclusion.
This was beyond awesome.
The cowgirl’s lips were soft and...kind of spongy. That might sound strange to think about, but it actually felt kind of nice. Rainbow broke the kiss and immediately went in for a second. Heck if it was her first kiss ever, she might has well have fun with it. She could feel her victim tensing up in her arms. Hehe. Poor girl. Clearly she was absolutely smitten. Rainbow would have loved to be able to read minds right now.
Of course, if she could read minds, she would know exactly what the other girl was thinking:
“Aw pony feathers...”
TO BE CONTINUED...
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When I saw the scene where Applejack was writing a letter as A.J. to Dash, I was like, "Why is she trying to write a letter? Twilight could barely write anything during her first mirror trip. No way is this going to work."
Then I saw the letter scene and I started laughing.
Good job.
8364782
Bear in mind, Sunset was just able to read Twilight's writing in the movie. So I guess that means Applejack's writing is even worse!
Either that or Dash and Rainbow can't read so well...
Glad it got a laugh out of you though
Net that was Applejack, not Aj
8366107
Let the hijinks begin!
Plottwist, Rainbow actually accidentally kissed Applejack instead of AJ.
Love the writing, can't wait for the next chapter, this might actually one of my favourite stories dude.
YOU FAILED TO STUDY HUMAN ATTRACTIVENESS, WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TWO EX-GIRLFRIENDS BACK TOGETHER.
...Ugh. At least Rainbow's predictable.
Several pebbles later, a light finally switched on and a familiar orange figure appeared at the window and opened it.
“Rainbow? Dash? Which one o’ you is that?”
“It’s Dash! A.J I need to talk to you!”
...That's the wrong one.
-A few paragraphs later-
F*ckin called it. XD
I died