Warning:Contains EVERY tag... except for Second Person. Pinkie Pie wonders what's inside a 'regular, normal, ordinary' cardboard box, so let's find out what's inside!
Warning: Contains EVERY tag... except for Second Person. Pinkie Pie wonders what's inside a 'regular, normal, ordinary' cardboard box, so let's find out what's inside!
Pinkie Pie hopped through town blissfully unaware of any sad events or things happening that day. She even sung a tiny little merry tune to herself as well too.
“Good morning!” she said very delightfully as she went along.
She hopped along as saw that everything was just perfectly fine, the birds were singing, seven dwarves were whistling as they went to work, oh wait, wrong story, uh the sun was shining and shimmering (boy is that cliché), and she saw all the regular normal ordinary every day stuff and things like Derpy in her cardboard box offering out free hugs (to which there was a very long line surprisingly enough), there was Applejack and her beanstalk (again, wrong story), uh, I mean Applejack and her apple cart selling what else but apples (I bet you would gasp though if it were actually something else completely different and unexpected instead), and there was Rainbow Dash just chillaxing in the clouds.
Yep, everything was absolutely perfect, and everything was certainly going to be just fine. Ha, and like Pinkie Pie couldn’t break the rules of reality and physics, yeah right, I mean it wasn't like she was going to take over my writing or anything like that, right? Yeah, sure thing, right, let’s stick with that story for now.
Anyhow Pinkie Pie wandered on home and found an unmarked box inside with only a very few words that were actually really written on it. For Pinkie Pie.
There was no return address or the name of who might have sent it either.
Pinkie Pie stared at the box wondering what could possibly be inside it.
Could it possibly be something from one of her friends trying to surprise her?
Oh, that would be very good, wouldn’t it? But then again, she wasn’t aware of anything special coming up that was near or around, so it could just be something that they would want to make special instead. Or would it be from some pony very special, perhaps maybe even a secret admirer? Yes, it could be, but then again, she didn’t know of any pony like that, not even among her own friends or in town either as well. Or could it be from a practical jokester like Cheese Sandwich or Discord? She smiled at that thought, the last time that she had opened anything from Cheese the whole entire bakery had to clean up the mess which involved a whole lot of cheese, an accordion, some polka music, and a rubber chicken as well too of course. Whatever it was she hoped that it would be good enough for her since she would hate to get something sad or bad.
Carefully she poked and prodded it just to make sure it wouldn’t explode like some packages of Cheese Sandwich and Discord would do sometimes.
Nope, it wasn’t exploding, well, that was a very good sign to start off with, after all, if it exploded then that would mean yet another mess for Twilight and all of her friends including the cake family to clean up. She then used something Twilight gave her to scan for anything dangerous including magical spells and curses. Nope, nothing there that the device could detect, it looked like this package would indeed be safe for her to open. Slowly she got out a knife and very carefully cut the sides and then lifted them up very carefully and slowly just in case she or some pony else (like Derpy) wanted to use this cardboard box again.
Thankfully it wasn't too hard to do that, and then she finally saw exactly what was at the bottom of the box. Wait, was that a pirate sword? And an eye patch as well too? Who in the whole entire world could possibly be giving her these things and stuff? She didn’t know who, but she did intend to fully find out soon enough eventually, but as far as surprise gifts this definitely wasn't one of the worst things that she had received, in fact it was rather one of the better ones instead. She smiled as she put on the pirate eye patch and grabbed the sword which was rather a very real and accurate precise replica and artifact as well too.
She decided to have some fun and roleplay. “Avast ye mateys, there be a storm up ahead! Prepare for adventure and get ready to face yer death!”
She giggled, wow, it sure was fun to play up as a pirate.
But then suddenly the box glowed blue and then red and then purple as a portal suddenly opened up and sucked her inside and when she was inside she found out something very shocking and surprising, the box had actually really truly did teleport her out to sea on a pirate ship full of pirate ponies while an actual real trues storm raged on out on the ocean! “Captain, whatever will we do?” a random various pirate pony said, “Uh,” Pinkie Pie said unsure of exactly how to react, but when she was the crashing waves as they washed over the ship and the pirate ponies she could only think up of one thing to say. “Cupcakes and ice cream go along very with cake and cookies!” she shouted. The pirate pony (the first mate to be exact, precise, and accurate as well too though) stared up at her like she was crazy (which she was, but probably not insane like Pinkamena), and then said something much wiser instead, “Every pony, brace yourselves!”
And with that said they did as the biggest wave suddenly came up and started to wash over them as Pinkie Pie nervously trembled with great fear.
Pinkie Pie didn’t know why she was here exactly, why she had been chosen for the games, and she didn’t really care either, she just wanted to get out, live through this, and survive. She just wanted to win the games and then get back home alive, that’s all that she really truly wanted right now at least. The other things and stuff could wait until later when the games were over.
Every year ponies had what they called ‘The Games’, nothing more or less, because it was just so huge, too huge in fact that it just had a great big huge ‘The’ tacked on in front of it just to let every other pony know how important it really truly was, yet she never imagined that she would be playing in it, ever.
She lived a very simple life, but it was still required to cast your name in the lot at least once every single year, however you could cast it in more than once for some extra food, money, gold, cash, silver, bronze, copper, or whatever else was valuable that they just so happened to have in supply at the current time.
She had always enjoyed what she had and so every year she only had to cast her name in once, but somehow despite all her previous good luck she still had been chosen among all the others and rest of the other ponies as well too.
Well, this was simply just perfect because now she was stuck in a game where death was a very real possibility and chance, where friends could betray you at any moment given the chance and opportunity to, she couldn't leave because that would mean death and the only way to win was to be the last one standing, the last one living, the only one to survive, those were the rules, she hated the rules, they were very stupid, but they were still the rules nevertheless.
But despite the rules there was never anything saying that she had to play fair, after all, deep down inside of her was buried a very dark and angry side of her, one that was completely insane and crazy, one named Pinkamena.
And this was the identity that she had taken on right now in order to survive.
And when she entered the arena despite her meager score of three every pony quickly learned to avoid her because in the first five minutes she killed half of them… with or without knives, because she really liked knives, and she knew that they always had some kind of knife or sharp object inside the arena.
And once she had a knife, well let’s just say that it wasn’t a very pretty sight.
It was really bad and very creepy because the first pony that she had to kill, well, she did kill them with the knife by carving a smile into their face while saying the ever-classic and famous quote of, “Let’s put a smile on that face, shall we?”
But now that over half the ponies had died it only remained that there were eight ponies in the whole entire arena, including her. Right now she was in a cave waiting for something to happen when she heard the sound of a package or rather a ‘gift’ arriving instead. She went out very curiously to explore it and merely just saw a cardboard box on the ground tethered to a white parachute, which was definitely a sign that it was indeed a ‘gift’ given from a sponsor.
She was very curious about what could be inside it, could it be food or a weapon instead? Right now either one wouldn’t help he rout that much anymore.
After all, she had all the food she could need by eating the meat off of the other ponies, and she had plenty of weapons, maybe it was medicine just in case.
Well, whatever it was it would only help her out so she opened it.
She pulled out a pirate sword and an eye patch, how odd and weird and also very strange and unusual, she thought to herself, but no matter, a weapon was still a weapon, no matter how strange, bizarre, odd, or unusual it really truly was. She smiled to herself, another weapon to add to the pile.
But before she could she suddenly was sucked into the purple portal just like the very first Pinkie Pie and nothing stood in the place of Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie stared at the box wondering what could possibly be inside it.
Could it be from Cheese Sandwich or one of her friends instead, yes, it very well quite possibly could be, but before she opened the strange mysterious box she went over the safety precaution checklist that she had memorized.
One: Keep a safe distance. Stay very far away from any and all marked packages.
Two: Scan for any and all magical spells, curses, and any explosive, radioactive, or otherwise possibly and potentially deadly and dangerous materials.
Pinkie Pie grinned, what did Twilight think she was, some kind of pony that couldn’t keep her hooves off of things and stuff? She should know better than that, after all, Pinkie Pie didn’t touch EVERY big huge red button that there was because if she did she probably would blow up the whole entire world.
Smiling she picked up some metal tongs and very carefully went over to the cardboard box. Oh yes, this was going to be very good, she could practically smell and taste the gift right now even as she thought about it.
“Here I come!” she said lunging for it and then opening it up.
She was very shocked and surprised to see that there was nothing inside of it.
“Huh?” she said, but then she saw the letter. The gift is invisible.
Well duh, of course it was, but just to make sure, yep, there was definitely something in there, something very loose, very fleshy, very long, very wiggly, and very smooth yet somehow was also not, it had a rounded end and was something that Pinkie Pie knew the touch of very well and enjoyed the touch of as well too.
She moaned with pleasure and delight as she then pulled out and on the… rubber chicken (well what did you expect it to be? WAIT? WHAT? Oh my, you certainly do have dirty minds, oh well, I bet it wasn’t what you expected, right?).
She laughed as she held the invisible rubber chicken in her hooves.
Oh, that Cheese Sandwich, he certainly was a trickster, one of the very best in fact. But then suddenly the box suddenly turned and glowed purple as she was sucked inside of it to a new world completely different from her own.
Pinkie Pie stared at the cardboard box wondering what was inside it.
She opened it and inside was a solider human.
“Hey, the name’s Snake, and unless you want to die kid…”
She then very quickly closed the box and then spotted yet another box, except this one was big, blue, and very huge, suddenly the door flew open and out stepped a brown stallion with a gun, “Come with me if you want to live,” he said.
Pinkie Pie did so and went to her own world of adventure.
The whole entire world was gone, all except for Pinkie Pie of course, but even she wasn’t the same anymore, because now her madness had finally gotten to her driving her completely insane and turning her into the very dreaded, hated, and feared pony known as Pinkamena. But she still struggled with her positive side of herself each and every day for each and every single time that she would look into a mirror because there she would be, happy Pinkie Pie trying to cheer up Pinkamena, but no matter what she tried to do or how hard she did it nothing ever seemed to work as Pinkamena continued to ignore Pinkie Pie.
“Hey there, let’s put a smile on that face,” Pinkie Pie said to Pinkamena in the mirror. Pinkamena frowned, it was just fine when she used that phrase on all of her victims before she finally killed them, but Pinkie Pie still tried to continue using it against her to remind herself of what she once had been a very long time ago. “Give it up Pinkie Pie, they’ll never really truly accept us for who we are, and even if they did declare us sane I couldn’t stand or bear live with you anymore, not any longer after all the time that we’ve already spent together.”
“Ah, come on, don’t you want to have any kind of fun? Even some fun?”
“Only if it means death and pain, strife and agony, because I want to spread my sorrow and despair Pinkie Pie, and not even you can stop me.”
“Nope, but I can certainly try holding you back at the very least,” she said.
“You’re so annoying, you know that, right?” Pinkamena said. “Yep, I already know that because I’m part of you silly,” she said smiling. Pinkamena frowned and then went back to her regular normal ordinary things and stuff as well too.
“How is she doctor?” Twilight and her friends said. “Not well, I’m just glad that you took her to us before any real true harm was done, but it seems like that in her mind not only has she killed you, her parents, any and all of her friends including the citizens of Ponyville and even the princesses themselves, but it also seems that her mind keeps taking it to completely new levels, for example, she now believes that she has killed the whole entire world by herself.”
“Isn’t that kind of sort of impossible?” Rarity said.
“Well no, not exactly because time works out very differently in the mind and head, and she does mostly ignore everything else of course.”
“Will she ever be normal again?” Twilight said. “No, maybe she can go back to her normal old self again, be regular, but she will always be different.”
And with that said they stared at her. “She ignores everything around her, she doesn’t even ever really truly see or hear us at all, ever, just watch…”
The doctor went inside to greet Pinkamena.
“Well hello there Pinkamena, I have something for you today, but it’s in a cardboard box so first you’re going to have to wake up and say hello…”
“Wait, did you say a cardboard box? Not metal or wood?” she suddenly said.
“Why yes, why do you ask though exactly?” the doctor said.
“Oh, no reason at all, but it’s probably because I really like cardboard.
“Oh, well then I suppose you can open it up then now,” the doctor said.
Pinkamena delightfully tore the box open and saw nothing, but she knew that at any moment a knife of some kind would probably be returning to it by magical means. “It’s empty,” she said, “I got nothing because no pony else cares about me enough to give me anything at all, I’m all alone in this empty world.”
“No Pinkie Pie, you are not alone, you do have other ponies who care about you.”
“Well name one of them,” she said. “I can name at least nine, including your friends and some of the staff here at the hospital,” the doctor said.
“You and the hospital staff don’t count, and neither do my friends either as well too,” she said. “Well perhaps maybe you should give them the chance and opportunity to prove themselves of being ready and worthy to be your friends.”
“Well maybe, but right now I’ve got a completely different new world to visit, see you next time, doc,” she said as the box suddenly glowed purple and sucked her inside it. “What the hell just happened? What the hell was that?” he said glancing around at all thee nurse ponies hoping to get an answer.
But there would be no easy answers for him or any pony else, not for a very long time. After all, inter-dimensional travel is rather very hard tricky stuff.
Pinkie pie stared at the items that she had found in a very old cardboard box up in the attic. She didn’t want to cry, but on this occasion, it just felt almost impossible to avoid, she sniffled back her emotions and feelings though.
She had to stay strong, she needed to stay strong for what still remained with the rest of her family, her parents had just died and now it was just herself and her sisters that were now still alive that were left in the whole entire family. It was only them, and because of that, she just had to stay strong.
She shuffled through the very old pictures and junk things and stuff that she had found in the cardboard box and very carefully considered her options.
Would she and her sisters try to do something new or would they instead remain to pick up whatever might have been left and remained on the farm?
Both options wouldn’t be easy, but at least for right now she still had time to try and decide what might be best for them, but she had no idea what could ever possibly would be the best for all of them. She was lost, confused, all alone in the dark, and worst of all, she had no pony else to help her out. It felt like her whole entire life up until very recently was happy and filled with great joy and delight, but now it just felt like a written series of events specifically designed to make her life into one very large big huge dramatic scene, almost like it was as if she was being written into a story right now… Suddenly she looked up from all the junk, stuff, and things up towards a wall where the audience was.
Yep, she was definitely being written into a story right now.
She didn’t know how or why that was though exactly, she just knew it.
And don’t question why or how please, because she’s Pinkie Pie!
Well at least she wasn’t alone anymore, or at least in the technical sense of the word. She was being watched so technically that could count for something.
She sniffled and slowly wiped away the tear from her eye. She couldn’t let them see her like this, she was supposed to be the happy pony full of great joy and delight, but then suddenly a thought came into her mind implanted by the author. Sometime it’s alright to cry because sometimes no matter how hard we might try to fight it there will always be that one day that everything goes wrong.
She made a face of deep contemplation and thought, she supposed that the author was right, but then suddenly the box glowed purple and just like all the other Pinkie Pies she was sucked into a completely different world.
Pinkie Pie hopped down the sidewalk gleefully unaware of anything sad or tragic happening around her, “Hello there!” she said to anyone that she met as she walked along the sidewalk and everyone greeted her with a great big huge smile.
Ah yes, today certainly was a very great day to just be alive no matter what anyone else might try to say, after all, they could never possibly get her down, she would always be happy and well… just herself of course.
Pinkie Pie arrived home very quickly and saw a cardboard box on the kitchen top counter, “Oh, what’s this?” she said shaking it making a very loud sound.
It sounded very good and so she decided to open it up.
Suddenly the box glowed a very bright purple and she went inside to a completely new different world but as she went inside she let out a shout of great delight and joy, “Oh my gosh! THIS IS SO MUCH FUN! WHEE!!!”
Pinkamena stared at the cardboard box wondering what could possibly be inside it, whatever it was she hoped that it would be useful, and a weapon.
Slowly she drew out a knife and smiled at her victims.
“Let’s put a smile on that face,” she said. But before she could suddenly the box glowed purple and she was sucked inside it to a completely different world.
The ponies tried to scramble away from her in great fear, that was definitely not Pinkie Pie, it was... PINKAMENA INSTEAD!!! She laughed as she slowly approached them with the knife held high above her head, “Oh, come on, don’t you want to have some fun with me?” she said.
“Uh, no, not really,” one of them said. “Well it doesn’t really matter if you want it because you’re going to get some fun whether you like it or not,” she said.
The ponies screamed in terror as they scrambled away in great fear.
But that was when Pinkamena noticed the cardboard box on the floor.
Curiously she opened it hoping for a weapon.
She smiled as she slowly drew out yet another knife.
But then suddenly the box glowed purple as she was sucked inside it to a completely different new world leaving the other ponies all alone.
Pinkie Pie stared at the clues in front of her as she confronted her new and most recent latest case. She went over the facts again inside her mind and head.
Could it be Rainbow Dash with her cyan feather left behind?
Could it be Fluttershy with a strand of her pink hair left behind?
Or could it be Rarity with some of her ever classic makeup left behind?
Time was running out and it wouldn’t be too long before the criminal got away, and when they did then that would mean that she definitely had no chance to ever solve this case at all. She considered her options in her mind and head again before she was quickly interrupted by her sidekick detective Twilight Sparkle.
“Pinkie Pie, you have some more ‘evidence’ in a package for you.”
“Good detective Twilight Sparkle, bring it here to me,”
She did so and then Pinkie Pie quickly opened it up.
It was just a monocle and mustache, she was curious, why would any pony give her this? But before she could contemplate this the box suddenly glowed purple and a portal opened up and she went inside to a completely new different world.
Pinkie Pie stared at the cardboard box not caring for what was inside it because she knew that it was a very simple plot device used by the author to get all the Pinkie Pies together, she stared at it and knew that no matter what she tried to do it would suck her inside to a completely new world, however she could change the story however, she could keep the other Pinkie Pies safe.
So, with great determination she dived head first into the cardboard box.
Pinkie Pie waited anxiously for her lover to come through the door so that way she could shower them with her affection, as she waited she decided to count off the seconds that still remained before they would be coming through that door.
She was very impatient of course since she didn’t want to waste a single moment of life, after all, that would be a very great sin and shame indeed.
But then suddenly there was a knock at the door. That was odd, there wasn’t supposed to be any company other than her lover today of course. Curious as to who it could possibly be she went to the door to see a mail pony was there.
“Hello there,” the gray Pegasus with yellow cross eyes said, “Are you Pinkie Pie?”
“Well of course I’m Pinkie Pie, who else could I be? After all, I did plan one of your parties Derpy,” she said. “Yeah, I know, and thanks for that, a lot.”
“You’re welcome, but do I need to sign for this?” she said. “Yes, please do that.”
Pinkie Pie quickly signed for the plain cardboard box very curious as to what could possibly be inside of it. Could it be a surprise gift from her lover?
She smiled at that thought, if it was indeed a gift from her lover than she sure would be in for a very nice great treat and pleasure of joy and delight.
Quickly she opened the box to find a box of chocolates inside of it.
Oh yes, it looked like it was definitely from her lover. But before she could relish in the chocolates something very strange, odd, and unusual even for her regular normal ordinary standards, and they were pretty high because of her levels of craziness and insanity. The box glowed purple and then suddenly sucked her inside of it to a completely new world.
Pinkie Pie stared at the box as she wondered what could possibly be inside it, more pictures of her dead family and friends? Relics? Ancient items and artifacts? Whatever it was she just hoped that it wouldn’t make her any sadder than she already was, she couldn’t take any more of these brutal feelings.
She was in her spaceship when she saw the cardboard box.
Pinkie Pie stared at the cardboard box wondering what could ever possibly be inside it, she opened it up to find a big huge blue police telephone box.
“Hey,” she said very angrily, “This is my story, not a Doctor Whooves crossover,”
Thankfully she wouldn’t have to deal with the pointless and very subtle cameo for very long as the box suddenly glowed purple and sucked her inside of it.
Pinkie Pie turned on the hot water for her lover waiting for them to come inside to the hot bath where they could make out as much as they wanted.
She poured in some soap and lotion to give it a very distinctive taste and flavor, or rather a scent instead. She started to dip her hoof into the water just to make sure that the water would be hot enough for them when suddenly she heard a knock at the door. That was odd, there wasn’t supposed to be any company other than her lover today of course. Curious as to who it could possibly be she went to the door to see a mail pony was there. “Hello there,” the gray Pegasus with yellow cross eyes said to her very politely, “Are you Pinkie Pie?”
“Well of course I’m Pinkie Pie, who else could I be? After all, I did plan one of your parties Derpy,” she said. “Yeah, I know, and thanks for that, a lot.”
“You’re welcome, but do I need to sign for this?” she said. “Yes, please do that.”
Pinkie Pie did so, but she couldn’t think of any sexual jokes to say to Derpy, well, except for one. “Why are your eyes crossed exactly?” she said curiously.
“Uh I really don’t like to or want to talk about it that much,” she said trying to divert away any and all attention from herself.
“Well I bet that my treatments would uncross your eyes and legs in a heartbeat if you know what I mean,” she said chewing on a cherry very seductively.
Derpy didn’t even bother trying to ask where she got the cherry from exactly and instead rolled her eyes and sighed. “look Pinkie Pie, I’m not one of your clients and I never will be, I don’t just but sex like some ponies would rather do.”
“To each their own I suppose, but of you don’t ever try it out then how will you ever know what it feels like?” she said smiling very seductively.
“True enough I suppose, but until next time just have a great day, okay then?”
“Yep, sure thing, until the next time Derpy!”
And with that said the gray Pegasus mare slowly flew off and away into the distance. Pinkie pie waved her goodbye of course, before she went to the cardboard box. Pinkie Pie wondered what it could possibly be, but secretly she was hoping for it to be a sex toy if it was (or even wasn’t) a gift from her lover. Maybe it would be a box of chocolates, oh, that would be so good right now.
She opened it and then suddenly the box glowed purple and sucked her inside of it just like a very certain part of the body enters a very certain part of the female’s body parts, any more descriptive than that and I'll have to move the rating tag up to mature, and I really do not want to do that here for this story.
Pinkie Pie stared at the box unsure if she should open it, she had been doing her taxes very recently and it could be a gift from Cheese Sandwich or perhaps her lover instead, but with all the work and jobs that she had to do for the Cake family, and not to mention the pinkie promise she made to the Cutie Mark Crusaders she was just simply already overloaded as it was with too many things and too much stuff to do. But she did have time to open it right now and if she didn’t then she might forget about it later, and so, with a sigh, she slowly opened it and found just one slice of pie and cake inside within it. She was very curious as to why any pony would give just one slice of anything to any pony else and not just the whole entire thing instead, but she didn’t have time to contemplate this as the box suddenly glowed purple and then sucked her inside it.
Pinkie Pie: Ace Attorney and Detective, on the case and on the double.
That was her standard regular normal ordinary motto, and it was also a promise, but after her latest job she just wanted to quit and leave her job instead.
But she knew that she had to stay strong for the rest of her family, she just had to stay strong, if she didn’t then her family would suffer for it. She sighed as she collapsed on her desk like a bag of sugar or a bale of hay and straw.
She pulled open a drawer and reached for a bottle to drink.
But as she did that was when she finally noticed the cardboard box.
There were no stamps on it, nothing to mark it special or unique just like all the other boxes with all the other Pinkie Pies, she glanced at it curiously wondering if she should open it, after all, it could be dangerous. But with her life in the state that it was in right now perhaps it was much better to rather die than live instead, so she took a swig of the alcohol and slowly opened the box. Inside it there was a gun and a plain file folder, obviously this must be some sort or kind of case, but as to why the pony simply didn’t appear here, well perhaps maybe their life was too greatly in danger and peril to even attempt such a daring brave bold move. She considered what she had, to do a case, or not to do, that was the great question that lay ahead of her, to take a stand against and endless seas of misery and strife filled with sorrow and despair, or instead to let it wash over her like it had done to so many that had come before her?
She could either do it for the money or instead for the love and passion of it for whatever noble purpose that she could possibly think of.
She glanced at the file folder and sighed, money was nice, but even she just needed a break sometimes.
So, she put it back in the cardboard box, but that was when it suddenly glowed purple and then pulled her inside to a completely new different world.
Pinkie Pie had just lost her closest friend and pet, the best animal that there ever could possibly be, her best pet friend named Gummy, and although he was a very small tiny little alligator he always seemed to be very deep in thought.
Even now she could still smile at the thought that he was having very philosophical and wise conversations with wise ponies just like he was. (Although I as the author will not be confirming any beliefs about the afterlife.)
But then suddenly as if the whole entire universe just didn’t want her to suffer in her pain, strife, agony, sorrow, and despair, a cardboard box fell down very high from the sky and hit the very top of her head. Ouch, she thought as she gently rubbed the top of her head just to make sure that it was alright and fine, which it was lucking enough for her of course. Suddenly music filled the air, wait, was that ‘Untitled’ from ‘Simple Plan’ by ‘Atlantic Records’? Really?
The author just had to choose that song? What did he want? A cruel laugh at her expense, she sighed very sadly though and knew that if she didn’t open the box then the music would only continue onwards until she finally did open it.
There was nothing inside of it of course, just typical of her luck.
But then suddenly it glowed purple and she was sucked inside of it.
Adventure, (and then every other genre and tag as well too)
After the storm had eventually finally died down Pinkie Pie eventually awoke to the glaring bright light of day and the sun. It burns, she thought to herself very weakly as she tried to get up, but there was no real point anymore since every single bone and muscle in her whole entire body was now in very great pain.
But she just had to get up, she had to stay and remain strong, if not for herself then for her crewmates at the very least, or her family, but why did she say crewmates first? Oh no, realization suddenly started to slowly sink in (no pun intended), she was falling under the spell of the author’s curse, song and pen!
(Again, no pun, although pen in this case is only metaphorical as with the rest, I don’t write any drafts with any kind of real life instrument or device.)
She groaned, yep, even know her head and mind was starting to fill up with nautical terms like Port and Starboard, which knows to use and when, crude cruel jokes and language so intense and fierce that if she or I even tried to describe it to you this story would quickly have to get stamped mature, and I really do not want to do that to this story. Anyhow Pinkie Pie eventually did finally figure a way to get up from the dry coarse sand. ‘I hate sand, it’s rough and it gets in your skin everywhere,” a male voice said besides her.
She opened up her eyes to see that it was a human wearing black clothes.
“Hi there, my name is Anakin Skybender, and don’t ask me why because I’m just some author’s bad Original Character which serves as a very poor excuse for a very famous Star Wars character, but yeah, welcome to the Island of Misplaced and poorly written fanfictions, where good dreams and hope and fun come to die, everything that you see around here comes from some author’s imagination, but only if their story is incomplete, in hiatus, cancelled, or rather they just gave up on it and the idea instead, which is exactly why you’ll see so much random various junk and stuff and things here to keep you entertained.”
Pinkie Pie stared at the surrounding landscape around her general area, it was very curious, interesting and fascinating. “Does anything ever escape here?”
“Nope, not unless the author of their story decided to come back and finish them sending them off to editing or completed stories islands instead of over here.”
“Oh, well okay then, but why is there so much here anyways exactly?”
“Who really truly knows anymore? Not even one of us is exactly sure why, but we still guess that it has something to do with the fact that too many good decent authors just give up or quit too early before they’ve let their story have the chance and opportunity to grow, before it’s too late to change anymore.”
“Well I certainly don’t qualify as that, I just came from a shipwreck and-,”
“Wait, did you say a shipwreck?” The mayor said very curiously now then.
“Yes, I did, why did you ask though exactly?”
“Oh, no reason at all,” the mayor said with a very devious grin and smile on their faces. “Oh, well okay then, if you say so,” Pinkie Pie said.
“Why am I here though? I’m not part of an incomplete story.”
“Well you’re lost then, obviously you can break the laws of physics and reality.”
“How did you ever guess?”
“It’s very easy and simple of course, you see…”
Eventually he finally finished his explanation.
“Oh,” Pinkie Pie said once he was done.
“Yep, and that’s how I figured out that you and me were both crazy and insane, because we’re all that way here,” he said. “So, I’m stuck here unless the author decides to change his mind otherwise?” she said. “Yeah, that or he develops some crazy insane plot device with some other characters to come rescue and free you,” he said. But then suddenly the sky turned purple and then sixteen other Pinkie Pies fell down one by one. “Yeah, sort of just kind of like that.”
“Oh look, there’s even more of me, now we can have so much fun together!”
“Shut up Pinkie Pie, I mean me,” Drama Pinkie Pie said.
“Oh, my head is spinning, I’m confused, why do I see more of me? Have I gone even more crazy and insane than I already have?” Dark Pinkie Pie said trying to figure out if this could be another hallucination of hers.
“Why did the Author even bother trying to do every genre?” Random said.
“Well, all except for Second Person and Anthro,” Mystery Pinkie Pie said.
“Oh, there’s just so much of me! We can have so much fun with torture!” Gore said. “We can scare whatever ponies we want to!” Horror Pinkie Pie said.
“Oh, so much of me to love!” Romance Pinkie Pie said.
“So much of me to have fun love with,” Sex said with a very seductive smile.
“Hey, you keep your hooves off of me,” Comedy Pinkie Pie said.
“This certainly is turning out to be very interesting,” Thriller said.
“Yes, I do quite agree with that,” Mystery and Drama said.
“PONIES! OH MY FREAKING GOSH! REAL LIFE ACTUAL PONIES OF MYSELF! YEAH! WHEE!” Equestria Girls said.
“Oh great, another confusing thing to add to the pile of shit that I have in my life,” Tragedy Pinkie Pie sad. “Please don’t hurt me,” Sad Pinkie Pie said.
“I was just doing my taxes, that’s all” Slice of Life Pinkie Pie said. “I’m clearly not on my spaceship anymore, and there appears to be intelligent life and luckily enough for me the air of this strange new environment is breathable,” Sci-Fi said.
“Where am I exactly?” Alternate Universe Pinkie Pie suddenly said. “On the island of lost and forgotten fanfictions,” Adventure said.
“QUIET!” Random Pinkie Pie suddenly shouted out very loudly.
Everypony then suddenly stopped what they were doing.
“Thank you, now until we can figure out which genre and/or tag we are we shall only call each other by our genre and/or tag name, this includes the author too as well of course, this will make things very easy and simple for all of us.”
“But why though exactly?” Slice of Life said.
“Adding Pinkie Pie to who speaks would get boring especially since the reader already knows that each and every single one of us is a Pinkie Pie, even if we all come from slightly different universes, but it does seem like that we all have one thing in common, we’re all random and we all know that there is someone watching us right now even as I speak, I don’t know if we were all funny like Comedy at some point or another, or if any of us will be quite as involved with love as Romance and Sex, but we need to work together to defeat the author.”
“But how though exactly? Do you have a plan yet?” Horror and Gore said smiling at the thought that they could tear this author person to tiny little pieces.
“Yeah, you always need a plan before you solve a crime,” Drama and Thriller said. “I don’t really care that much,” Sad and Tragedy said. “The life forms appear to be talking to each other about some kind or sort of plan involving this so called ‘Author’ of theirs, probably some kind or sort of very dangerous enemy who would be better off dead in the galaxy, so I will join them in their epic mighty battle and quest to defeat this so-called ‘Author’ of theirs,” Sci-Fi said.
“Who needs a plan? I am Pinkie Pie, you’re Pinkie Pie, we’re all Pinkie Pie here!
We’re all equal in this together, now then who will join with me in our parade, to barricade injustice and fight for freedom? Or would you rather live with the tyranny, threat, anger, and peril of being under the control of the ‘Author’ instead? Who will fight so that our banner flag may wave? Are you free ponies or are you just chickens instead? Do you fear death or just fear itself instead?”
“Uh, are you really quoting something right now? Seriously?” Slice of Life said.
“Yes, I am, so, who will join with me for the right to be free and live?”
Horror, Dark, Gore, Slice of Life, and Sci-Fi were the very first to raise their hooves. “Oh come on! Why won’t you join me yet?” She said to the rest of them. “Make love, not war,” Romance and Sex said. “Why should I join you? There’s nothing worth fighting for anymore,” Thriller, Drama, Sad, and Tragedy said.
“Violence isn’t really my style,” Comedy said. “I’m up for it,” Adventure said, “I just like to have a plan before we go charging in blindly at this Author.”
“Same exact thing as she said,” Alternate Universe said.
“My reasons are my own,” Mystery said.
“Only if it’s fun!” Equestria Girls suddenly said popping up from nowhere.
Random sighed, “Boy, it sure is hard to keep track of seventeen genres and tags, especially when you want to make sure that they all get a relatively equal amount of the same talking time,” she said. “Yeah, tell me about it, I write fanfiction with Fluttercord, FlutterDash, TwiLuna, TwiJack, AppleDash, and many more various random ships including but not limited to OctaviaScratch, LyraBon, FlashLight, Sunlight, and Applecord, and it gets hard sometimes to remember all the characters doing what especially if you want to combine all of them in the very end for one big huge crossover like a whole entire multiverse finale story,” Slice of Life suddenly said.
“Wait, you write fanfiction?” Random said. “Yeah, why?” Slice of Life said.
Random smiled, “I think that I just got my idea for a plan, and it just might be crazy enough to work out,” she said. “Well, what’s the plan then though exactly?”
“You’re going to write us into his human world,” she said.
Slice of Life’s eyes opened wider, “Wait, what? Are you crazy?”
“I just might be, after all, I’m you, aren’t I?” she said.
“Yeah, I suppose that you’re right, but still, how can I do that? If he’s the author of this story, then doesn’t that mean that he should control everything including what’s happening right now?” she said. “Well yes, he should, but if we can make it our own then we’ll be safe and then we’ll finally be in control again.”
“I still don’t know how to though,” Slice of Life said.
“Don’t worry, first you must ask who is in the scene, you must ask what the scene is, where it is taking place, when, with whom if any, and also you must know to what your purpose in writing it is exactly of course,” she said.
“Very well then, let me try that,” Slice of Life said.
She picked up a pen and paper and she started to write…
But before she could suddenly there was an earthquake and a tornado and a hurricane and a flood and a rain storm with lightning with sharks flying through the air, and not just any regular normal ordinary sharks, but ones that could shoot lasers for some strange mysterious reason, even robotic sharks as well too.
There was complete chaos and anarchy everywhere that they looked.
“WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?” Slice of Life shouted out very loudly. “The Author knows that we’re not supposed to break the final fourth wall by coming into his world, and he also really doesn’t want us there so he’s trying to avoid our entry into his own world at any and all costs no matter what happens to us! But you can stop this, you have to!” Random said. “But I can’t!”
“You have to! For me, for yourself, for all of us just do it right now, please!”
Slice of Life looked at Random, “Okay then, I'll try to do my very best!”
She took her pen and her piece of paper and then she started to write…
It was a bright and sunny morning in the human world where nothing was ever perfect, but things could still be very well and fine with its people, and in this case, a very special person who was an author, because at that moment as he was writing his very latest story suddenly seventeen pink pones that were all named Pinkie Pie appeared in his room…
Allan stared down at the very latest story that he was writing and was satisfied that his commotion with all the natural disasters had sent all the other Pinkies off to where they could never possibly bother him again. He smiled as he finished typing in his very last word on his final last sentence and paragraph.
“Finally, I’m done,” he said to himself not caring whether or not he would be considered crazy and insane, after all, he talked to and with himself, a lot.
But then suddenly seventeen Pinkies were in his room. “But how-?” he started to say. “Slice of Life saved us at the very last minute with her writing.”
Allan scoffed at this remark, “Well of course she did, but when I’m finally done with you I'll have you written out of the story in no time at all,” he said as he started to try sitting down at his chair but it was quickly kicked away by a Pinkie and then he fell with his butt on the floor. “Well that was a bit rude and harsh, honestly I thought that you Pinkies were supposed to be nicer than that.”
“We are, mostly, except for the Pinkamena Pies,” Horror and Gore said.
“Ah, well that figures out very nicely, but you can’t stop me from unwriting you out of my story,” he said. “Do you really want to not have talking animated ponies?” Random said. Allan hesitated, “It doesn’t matter what I want, I just have to satisfy my fan follower base, which is over 100 by the way thank you very much for asking,” he said. “I don’t care how many followers you have, I just care about you being happy with a great big huge smile on your face,” she said.
He quivered, “I refuse to accept your reality of joy and instead substitute my own,” he said. “Yeah, and how well is that working out for you, hmm?”
Suddenly he started to cry, “I’m so lonely!”
“It’s not so bad, surely you have friends, right?” Random said.
“Do they count as friends if they don’t really truly know, understand, or accept you?” he said. “Uh, surely your family-?” she said. “Nope, that’s even worse than my so-called friends, I can only talk to complete strangers about my problems now because I have literally forgotten how to talk to other people, or really care about what they’re talking about, their life, their children, their family, their favorites, whatever it is I just might not connect with/to them on every level.”
“Well if you don’t try to connect with other people then you won’t ever make any real true friends,” she said. “That’s the problem, I don’t know how to care about other people, I have literally forgotten how to,” he said. “Have you ever asked anyone how to teach you?” she said. “Talking and asking for help are my weakest traits and natural abilities and talents, I’ve been afraid to talk to anyone else for so long just because I don’t know how I can, which is exactly why I’m cursed, I want to be with people, but only if they’re interesting to me, I want to have better relationships, but I just can’t because I don’t know how, I’ve been told that I am a bit selfish when it comes to attention, which is probably why I can’t make any more friends,” he said. “Don’t worry, you have us now.”
“Yeah, and you’re fictional, fantasy is the only real true friend that I have left, it is the only thing that really does understand and loves me for who I am.”
“Uh, Daniel,” she said. “No, call me Allan, Daniel was the past, I’m Allan now.”
“Uh, well okay then, Allan, I think that you’re just a bit obsessed with writing.”
“Yeah, I already know that I have a problem, I just don’t know how to fix or solve it, it’s like a puzzle that I just can’t quite figure out yet,” he said.
“Well, so long as you try to make friends, improve and be better and try to figure out that puzzle then people will start to accept you for who you really truly are.”
“But what if they don’t? What will I do then?”
“Well, you’ll just have to keep trying,” Random said.
“And what if I fail in the very end, what will I do then?”
“Well, at least you tried,” she said. “Yeah, I guess that you’re right, but hey, do you want some snacks? I just brought some carrots and apples from the store.”
“Well I don’t know about apples, but I would certainly touch your dingle berries any day of the week if you asked me for it,” Sex said very seductively.
“HEY! There could be children here reading this thing! Keep the sexual references down to the very absolute minimum!” Allan shouted at her.
“Oh, don’t worry, I will,” she said licking a cherry very seductively.
“Well, I could go for some apples,” Random and Slice of Life said.
“I will take this so called ‘apple’ as some kind of food source,” Sci-Fi said.
“It’s been forever since I’ve had some decent food,” Drama, Dark, Horror, Thriller, Gore, and Mystery said. “Eh, why not,” Sad and Tragedy said then.
“Yeah, what they and Sex said,” Romance said. “Might as well,” Adventure and Alternate Universe said. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away!” Comedy said.
“Yeah, unless you’re me of course!” Equestria Girls said.
Suddenly they all glanced at her very confused and then decided to ignore her.
“Well, you girls enjoy yourselves,” Allan said. “Oh, don’t worry, we certainly will,” Sex said gesturing for Romance to come over and make love with herself.
“PINKIE PIE!” Allan shouted as every Pinkie in the room suddenly laughed out loud as he desperately tried to regain control of his story and room.
