It was supposed to be nice outside today. It was all over the news for the past week.
High sixties all week. Expect partly cloudy skies throughout your day.
It's amusing sometimes to see just how wrong predictions can get. As for the weather, it was pouring outside. The fat drops of rain drummed on the window, shattering the concentration of those in the classroom with their pop quiz. It felt pretty relaxing as well, to just simply... lay back, and listen to the rain.
I imagine that many other people do the same, but I'm no psychic. Or at least, I think I'm not. It's all a matter of perspective. You see, if I were to be transported maybe two hundred or so years into the past, along with all the various devices we take for granted, many would likely call for either my worship or my burning, as I'd have what they'd call the powers of a god. Either that, or as I said earlier, I'd be killed for the usage of "dark magic". So to say that I'm not a psychic could easily contradict itself, depending on who you ask.
A note landed on my desk while I was gazing out the window. I paid little mind to it until my trance was broken by a light punch on the arm.
I found a better guy.
-Mary S.
Oh. Shit.
Well, I guess that's that... I'd better get back to my quiz, before the be--
I trudged through the halls to my next class. I'll have to explain myself when I get home...
The rest of the day was on par with the raging downpour outside; miserable. Class after class, all I could think of were two things: My grades, and my (now former) girlfriend. Honestly though, I don't really feel like giving a fuck about it right now.
As one may predict, the rest of my day was quite horrible, even after school ended. It was still drizzling outside when it did so, and so I had to feel the soppy wetness of my socks souping up my shoes until I got home, when I immediately tore them off.
I came back out in some decent boots, and headed out for school again. I had a few club meetings to attend, after all.
It was already beginning to grow dark outside, and I hadn't realized it until I was blinded by the headlights of a car.
At least, I'm pretty sure that it was a car. If cars had mesmerizing rainbow headlights that make you feel high.
Twilight watched in horror as the Golden Oak Library smoldered, the remains of the tree blazing fiercely. Though she paid little mind to it, she saw what appeared to be a small... rift.
And so, let's just say that those "rainbow headlights" I saw kinda sorta sucked in a large portion of the road, me included. I awoke with a pounding headache, and from the looks of it, the cause is probably a large chunk of asphalt that sat beside me. I felt blazing heat scorching my back, and I immediately tumbled forward to avoid it in my confusion.
Turning my head to see what the source of heat was, I found a massive tree. I normally wouldn't have paid much attention or concern for it, but the tree was on fire. And from the looks of it, it was in it's final stages of burning. Aside from a small portion of trunk and the roots, it was totaled.
I turned back around, only to meet face-to-face with... a purple pony?
I can tell that this day's only gonna get weirder. I'm betting right now that I'm just hallucinating from a horrible head injury after a car crash, and in reality, I'm laying peacefully on a hospital bed, and everyone's gathered around, hoping that I'll wake up soon. In fact, it's pretty probable that--
"Um... sir?"
Oh, ok. A talking purple pony. Great. Feeling reeeaaaal trippy now, brain. You can stop it now.
"Are you okay?" the pony asked.
I raised a brow, and began crawling towards the pony. I had just noticed that said pony happened to be some sort of unicorn-pegasus hybrid, as well. Either way, I just wanted to feel something other than the still-burning ground.
The pony stepped back in surprise, and made what seemed to be a shield out of thin air.
I can only assume that the pony, who I'm pretty sure is a mare, created the shield in self defense. After all, it's not every day when a skinny teen falls out of the sky. It's just not normal. So... yeah, I'll have to cut her some slack for almost smacking my face with a shield.
The mare dropped the shield, of which simply vanished into nothingness. She once again stepped closer to me, her large eyes fiercely inspecting me.
I waved my cut hand at her nervously. "Hello?" I finally said, startling the pony yet again.
After several seconds of continued staring, the mare finally dropped her gaze, and replied, "Um... hello. I'm Twilight."
Well then. So she does have a name. I might as well give mine now.
"I'm Asger," I replied. My eyes darted around the area, taking in the unfamiliar scenery. "Where am I?"
'Twilight' sighed. "Ponyville," she said in a depressed tone, "or at least, what's left of it."
Obviously, anyone could tell that some sort of destructive force had crashed through here recently. I proceeded to ask what it was specifically. Long story short, it seems like this creepy-ass centaur named Tirek rampaged through here recently, before getting PWNED by the 'Elements of Harmony', which included this Twilight mare that I'm talking to.
After my curiosity spurred further talk about just how powerful the Elements of Harmony were, I had finally come to accept that the six ponies that happened to wield said Elements were freakin' OP, by my below-average gamer logic.
I mean, even the shy one has rumors going around about her wrestling bears. And just by looking at the destruction around me, I can tell that there was a pretty intense struggle between this Tirek dude and the Elements.
Freakin' OP ponies... I'm not saying that all ponies are OP though, just these six mares that Twilight keeps talking about, herself being one of them. I soon learned that though the Elements clearly had the power to rule with an iron fist, they gladly accepted the fact that two old-geezer princesses by the names of Celestia and Luna were far better rulers, considering as how they've been ruling for the past thousand or so years, if not more.
OP ponies aside though, I can tell that Twilight seems to have a little something going with that "Fluttershy" gal that she talked about. Fluttershy being another Element, I don't see why not to have a crush on another insanely powerful pony like herself, am I right? Right. But... yeah, long story short, I kinda just pestered information outta Twilight for the next two and a half hours, since my logic told me that I should learn as much as possible before doing something stupid. I think I remember that said logic is called something like...
Geez, ten minutes later and I finally remember the words "survival" and "skills". Probably something to do with being sucked through multiple universes and stuff. Meh.
Also, can someone tell me why there's this weird-ass illuminati dude stalking me? He's giving me the creeps... and there's now a random rock flying at my face, and--
Ow. Where am I? Why's it so dark?
Hello, Asger. Awake already?
Wha-- ... durp?
I see.
Oh hey, it's that illuminati guy again. Whaddup?
Oh, nothing.
"Want a stale cookie?" I asked pulling said cookie from my pocket, "I got one from lunch earlier."
I'm fine. What I'm here for today is to--
"Here, take this cane."
I really don't know why I'm acting like this, pulling random objects out of nowhere. I continued to fling a chair, three tables, and a lit candle into the dark space, not seeing where or how each one landed. All I know is that it feels strangely natural for me to do this, all of a sudden.
Okay, fine. If you don't want psychic powers, let it be so. I'm out.
Wait, what? I'd kill for something like that!
"Stop!" I yelled, forcing the broadsword to drop mid-throw, "I'll take some psychic powers!"
Where'd you get a broadsword?
"I really don't know. I'm not sure what's going on anymore."
The illuminati guy emerged from the shadows again, and lifted up the cane that I gave him.
Well, I'm not sure either, but why not?
The end of the cane began glowing in a bright light, before a laser shot straight into my skull.
Okay, so that was probably the weirdest dream I've had in quite a while. Though, considering that it involved what I'm pretty sure was Bill Cipher, as well as him granting me "psychic powers", I don't think that I'll use said powers.
He is, after all, kinda... let's say... well, he's just Bill Cipher. "Psychic powers" my ass.
Anyways, let's get back to what was currently going on. Apparently, after wrecking Tirek's face, Twilight and her friends were granted a new home. Of which was really a castle. Made of crystal. Not gonna be throwing rocks around that house.
I could tell personally that Twilight was pretty pooped out from her battle. From her explanations earlier on, I had figured that she and her friends typically have to battle against some sort of monster or demon almost once a week. And geez, if I were her, I'd probably be dead already. And so, I've decided to grant myself a knighthood to protect Twilight. After all, it's a pretty big advantage to have fingers in battle. You could shoot a gun, or throw rocks, or--
Twilight cut off my train of thought with a sideways glance. I had been staring into the palms of my hands, muttering to myself the entire time. She must think I'm crazy. But... yeah, once again, I've got the excuse of being zapped through the multiverse with no explanation.
As we continued our stroll through the new castle, Twilight turned, and noticed the subtle grin on my face.
"What?" She deadpanned, "Like what you're seeing?" She wiggled her hindquarters with an annoyed face, assuming that I had been staring at her... *ahem* mare bits.
"Wha--? NO!" I burst out, "I was just thinking to myself about helping you defend this place! Do you really think that I have a mind that far into the gutter?!"
Twilight raised a brow, and continued walking, though slower this time so I walked directly beside her instead.
Though we had that mildly awkward and definitely-not-suggestive conversation earlier on in the halls, I believe that Twilight seems perfectly fine with it now that she understands what I meant.
After all, why would she be spending time setting aside a room just for me? I mean, she's practically acting like my mom now. Complete with the lessons on how to keep my room tidy, and lectures about homework... not that I really need lecturing. I do my homework anyways.
Spike, the tiny-dragon-kid-thing that I found to be Twilight's assistant, suddenly popped his head in through the doorway as Twilight was briefing me over how to use a vacuum.
"Twilight?" He began, "you've got a letter from Celestia."
While Twilight was reading over the letter, I took the chance that I was presented to go out again, and maybe meet the rest of these "Element Bearers" that seem to constantly save the world. Since I already know about Fluttershy, I'll probably see her first, and just keep going along with the chain.
For a house that supposedly belongs to an insanely powerful pony, I'd have to say that it's pretty... humble. From the directions and occasional strange glares I had received, I was able to figure out that the mare that I was looking for lived in a cottage on the outskirts of town. Said cottage was pretty hard to find too, considering how it was carved out an overgrown tree, like Twilight's destroyed library-house.
I waited patiently at the door after knocking, waiting for what I assumed to be another unicorn-pegasus or something to suddenly slam the door open on my face. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure how this'll turn out though, and I just realized that I never told Twilight that I was leaving. I kinda just ran off without a word...
Anyways, Fluttershy finally opened the door a few minutes later, and surprisingly, she was a pegasus. A normal, definitely-doesn't-have-a-horn pegasus. I caught a glimpse of the supposed bear that she wrestles behind her, as well. It was just eating out of a bowl.
Wait... the bear that she wrestles is her pet?!
Well then. She doesn't look OP, but she seems to act the part in her home.
But yeah, so Fluttershy was a bit surprised, if not confused, at my sudden entrance. She was in the middle of feeding her animals, and from the looks of it, the rabbit that sat on her back wasn't amused by my intrusion.
Fluttershy was, amazingly, quite friendly for the fierce fighter that she supposedly was. In fact, she even asked if I wanted to stay for a few days.
Knowing that Twilight'll probably be wanting me back soon, I politely refused.
Next up, I guess... Applejack.
...Aaaaaand portals happen. And quite possibly dragons.
So, apparently there's not only Bill Cipher in my life, but a freakin' chaos god. He showed up just a few minutes ago, and right now, he seems to be making some sort of hole in the space-time continuum. Whoopee.
And it looks like now he's widening it, and... do I see a dragon in there? Huh. And here I thought that he was about to chuck me in and close the portal behi--
My train of thought was severed by the pain of landing face-first in a large pile of rock. Specifically, a pile of rock that for some reason reminds me of a nest. And... there's eggs. And why does this place remind me of that "How to train your Dragon" show from all those years back?
Honestly, I'm not sure if I should really care about these things anymore. I mean, I now live in the literal definition of some kid's wet dream of horses, I've met Bill Cipher himself, and now the lord of chaos has thrown me into a movie scene. Geez.
And speaking of movies, I'm seriously beginning to feel like I'm in a badly-written comedy scene that puts little emphasis on the comedy itself.
I guess I'll just sit here and wait to see if that Discord chaos-god guy comes back around. Or Bill Cipher again. Or both. Huh, what's that warm breeze I feel behind--
Once again, my train of thought was derailed. But this time, it was by a dragon.
I felt the dragon's breath inching closer to me as I continued running. All the while, I swore I heard Discord laughing at my expense in the background.
And then I tripped. Once again, I was sent tumbling down several very hard rocks, landing once more at... a castle?
Now that I don't sense the threat of the oncoming dragon, I came to realize that I was back. Which is quite good, considering as how I was nearly eaten back there.
Plus, I have the egg. I don't even remember grabbing it, but apparently, either due to my own foolishness of Discord's messing, I took it with me.
I hope Twilight'll let me keep it.
"PUT IT BACK" My caretaker shouted angrily, "it's not right to just take something from another universe!"
I shrugged. "Tell Discord that. Don't forget, I'm also a 'something from another universe', too, y'know."
Twilight groaned, and promptly left the room grumbling.
As for the egg, I'm honestly not sure what's gonna happen.
CRACK
Oh. Well then. Of course it just has to hatch right now, 'cause obviously, right at the moment when I least expect it, it's gonna--
Aww, a tiny dragon. Kinda cute, I guess, if it weren't for the fact that it's slimy and wrinkled from just barely being born, but other than that, yeah. Okay.
Not entirely sure what I should call it, though. I mean, sure, I've had a few pets over the years, but naming goldfish and naming tiny dragons are completely different things.
So I guess... Hmm... I could name her something useful, like Wheel, but that'd be weird... axle? Oh, Axel would fit better!
I looked down at the tiny dragon that stared back at me. "I'll call you Axel, and you'll be my Axel!" I pronounced.
Geez, that sounded stupid even before I said it.
Baby dragon, meet Twilight Sparky... I mean, Sparkle.