Prologue - Just When I Thought I Was Out...

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They say that those who can’t do, teach. I’ve never agreed with that statement in my life. If that’s the reason you’re becoming a teacher, then you’re in the wrong line of work. I’ve been teaching myself for over twenty years now, on and off, and I’ve never felt like that. Teaching is what I am good at, and I enjoy it.

And as it turns out, teaching is a surprisingly marketable skill, at least it seems to be in the land of Equestria; the odd magical kingdom in which I find myself today.

I’m getting ahead of myself aren’t I? I suppose a quick explanation is in order.

My name is Margaret. I’m female, five feet tall with faded blonde hair, just shy of sixty, born and bred in Staffordshire, and a graduate of the teacher training college at Bromsgrove. When I left Sixth Form at the age of eighteen, I was determined to become a teacher. And through hard work, and due diligence, I eventually managed to get a job… in a shoe shop.

It was actually a few years down the line that I got my first teaching job, covering a local primary school in Mosley while one of their staff was on maternity leave. Luckily for me, I performed well enough that I was kept on as a supply teacher, and after that teacher decided to make her leave permanent, I got to work there full time.

Over the next few years, my career took off. I stayed at primary school level, elementary school to the Americans. And after many years of service at various schools, and after marrying my husband and raising my own family, I retired from my profession and collected my hard won pension. I figured I was done with teaching, aside from helping out as a school mum from time to time.

Turns out though, I figured wrong; I wasn’t done teaching just yet.

None of us remember exactly how it happened, but we found ourselves waking up in a dark forest, in a land that was not our own. As mad as it sounds, my son, a twenty year old university student, recognised it as being from some little girls’ TV show. Apparently he, and quite a few others in his age group, like it.

If you don’t mind, I prefer we not talk too much about that; it kind of creeps me out. I've seen their conventions.

Even more oddly though, while we were all knocked about a bit, my son had changed completely. For reasons almost beyond my understanding, my son had changed into a four foot tall unicorn, including an actual magical horn on his head, with a grey coat and a messy dark blue mane. Becoming a mother doesn’t prepare you for literally everything; I found out that in the dark confines of the Everfree.

He seemed to love the sudden turn of events though, and quickly demanded that we head for a nearby town. We trekked through the forest, first coming upon a ruined castle. In a cavern below it, there was a strange crystal tree, which seemed to hold some importance to him. After that, we had to cross a very rickety rope bridge and a wide river, occupied by a bloody great sea serpent. Eventually, we blundered into a group of ponies sent to investigate our arrival.

We ended up being welcomed into this new world with pretty much open arms, or open hooves as the case may be. The inhabitants of this world, you see, are ponies, multi-coloured, magical, sapient, ponies. There are three kinds; earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi. Each one has their own unique traits and abilities.

We were safe for the time being, although it quickly became clear that we were stranded here in Equestria. The country’s two rulers, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, promised that they would do all they could to get us back, but it would take time. Even as alicorns; a combination of the other three types of ponies, it would take them time, and a lot of work to try and find us a way home. It was a search that, sadly, would prove ultimately fruitless.

So, with nothing better to do, and in need of money, I paid call on the local schoolhouse. After all, I wasn’t really qualified for anything else, and Ponyville’s job market isn’t exactly booming. The place is small; a red and white wooden building, with an old fashioned bell atop the roof, with only a couple of classes to teach, and only just enough space to do so. But at the time, they only had the one teacher; Cheerilee. While she was initially a bit skeptical, she ultimately agreed to let me cover a few classes. The two of us quickly became good friends, possibly bonding over our time trying to control the small bundles of joy in our charge.

From there, it snowballed, I was steadily given more and more responsibility by Cheerilee, taking classes on my own, planning my own lessons, and even running the end of year exams. And before long, I was up before Equestria’s own education board to get my licence to teach foals here officially. There was a bit of a dust up about my unusual species, mainly from one or two ponies who didn’t care for the fact that I didn’t give their child special treatment because they had money. Luckily, it all turned out right in the end, and I’m fully certified in any case.

And now, I find myself back in teaching here in Ponyville, while my husband works in Canterlot, my son works on his girlfriend’s farm, and my daughter, who also later got turned into a pony, works as part of something they call the Weather Patrol.

While my husband brings home stories of political intrigue, I’m much more of a down to earth kind of person. Unlike Roger, I’m still just a schoolteacher. I go in every week, teach the kids, send them off with homework and new knowledge, and then do it all again, all the while balancing parent teacher conferences, the odd troublesome student, exams, inspections, helicopter parents, and all the usual drama you get living in a small town like Ponyville. It’s so much more idyllic that Canterlot though. Heck, based on his stories, you’d have thought that Roger’s work was like one of those Tom Clancy books my son used to read. He even once told me we were all being watched by that map thing in Twilight’s castle.

In any case, I like it here. My life certainly took an odd turn, but ultimately, it proved to be a good one. I’ve got my own home, a good job, friends; everything I could ask for as I edge closer to retirement age.

So here’s a few stories, and a few lessons I learned myself from my time in Ponyville Elementary.

Chapter 1 - Extracurricular Activities

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The small bell above the classroom door let out a sudden shrill ringing, as the clock struck three in the afternoon. The sound cut off my own lesson quite quickly; I knew I was getting close to the end of the day, but I could have sworn I had another fifteen minutes. In any case, the ringing of the school bell seems to have something of a Pavlovian effect on my students. Without fail, each one of them began to pack their stuff away and made for the door. Ah well, I was almost finished, and I was glad to see the back of Wednesday anyway. I called out to the near stampeding foals.

“Alright, we’ll finish up with that tomorrow. Don’t forget you have a maths test on Friday. And please, please take your left over lunches with you! My husband is tired of me coming home smelling like PB&J’s. I’ll see you all at nine tomorrow.”

Most of the kids acknowledged me in some way, usually quickly reply of ‘Yes, Mrs. Owen’. To be fair to them, they did all sit through the lesson without trouble, and the pre-classical era of Equestrian history could at times be quite dull.

Thinking about that though reminded me of an important fact. Potentially, next week we’d be introducing a new lesson every Thursday; magic. A lot of the unicorn foals were now starting to slowly access their magic.

From what I understand, when they’re born, it’s pretty much uncontrollable and can cause havoc for parents to keep it in check. A few weeks after though, and with the right spells from doctors, it goes dormant. It stays that way until they’re around eight or nine. This time, when it returns, it’s controllable, and the foals can actually be taught how to use their magic. A fortnight ago, Sweetie Belle had managed, after a lot of trying, to activate her own magic, as had Dinky and a few other unicorns. So, it was decided by the Board of Governors to bring in magic lessons.

There was just one problem; I’m a human, and Cheerilee is an earth pony. While she may have innate earth pony magic, she doesn’t know that much about unicorn magic, certainly not enough to teach foals. So, we needed somepony else. There was one logical choice; Twilight Sparkle.

Well, Princess Twilight Sparkle officially, but she rarely uses her title. The Element of Magic and Princess of Friendship knows pretty much all there is to know about magic. She’s taught the Cutie Mark Crusaders in the past, helping them with their studies, and she helped my own son, Blade Star, learn to properly use his own magic. As such, Cheerilee and I were rather hopeful that she would be able to lend a hoof each Thursday at the school.

“Oh, and just to remind everypony, next week will be the start of magic lessons for unicorns, so make sure you come prepared for that.” There were a couple of cheers from Sweetie Belle and Dinky, while Diamond Tiara snorted in disgust.

“I hope you’ve got somepony good, Mrs. Owen,” the spoiled filly said snarkily. “If they’re going to be teaching Sweetie Belle, they’re gonna need to be.” I scowled.

“Diamond Tiara!” I barked, but the troublesome filly, along with her friend Silver Spoon had already scampered off.

As the last few foals scampered out of the classroom, I sat down behind my desk and took a breath. It had been something of a long day; Wednesdays always are if you ask me. I was about to start stacking the chairs, when I heard somepony at the door clear their throat.

Looking up, I spotted Cheerilee, the maroon coloured mare who originally served as the town’s only schoolteacher. With a second fully qualified teacher on hoof, the two of us share lessons, one teaching, while the other catches up on paperwork; marking homework and writing reports, and so on. She leaned against the doorway.

“So are you going to see Twilight this evening?” she asked me curiously. We had a good week before the lessons were due to start, but knowing Twilight, she’d need a bit of time to plan, and possibly freak out a little.

“Yeah, I’ll head out now,” I replied nodding. “I might as well. Her castle is nearer here than it is to home and it shouldn’t take long.”

“Just hope she isn’t going off on one of those adventures with her friends,” Cheerilee joked. “I’ll lock up here. You can go on ahead.”

Thanking her, I quickly gathered up my own supplies; a few files, my handbag, and the literacy homework I’d taken in today. Heading for the door myself, I took my set of keys off the hook.

“Right, I’ll leave you to it then,” I said to Cheerilee as she finished stacking the chairs. “See you tomorrow morning. I’m still on for looking after that maths test on Friday, right?” Cheerilee nodded. With a final wave, I left and headed for Twilight’s castle.

I caught myself, due to force of habit, heading the wrong way to start with. For a good long while since I’d lived here, the route to Twilight’s had been heading into the market square, up to town hall, turn left, right onto Stirrup Street and the second left to the end. That was where her home had been, where the Golden Oaks library had once stood. It was nothing but a husk now; little more than the stump remained, badly burnt and blackened.

That was the result of a magic stealing psychopath called Tirek. He tried to kill Twilight when she was sent to stop him, and due to his poor aim, he missed the alicorn princess, and destroyed her home instead. That of course, only made her madder, and ultimately resulted in his downfall.

But just as quickly as her old home was lost, a new one was created. For several month’s she’d been studying this box, given by a magical tree, which originally created the Elements of Harmony she and her friends used. Opening it not only allowed them to defeat Tirek, but also created a large, tree like, crystalline castle for her to live in. It was a massive building that rose well above all others in town. She’d moved what little had survived the fire in a few days ago. The poor mare still missed her old place though.

Checking my direction, I headed to the far edge of town, the castle quickly coming into view. Heading up the steps, I knocked on the door and pulled the cord for the bell. A few moments later, a decidedly out of breath Spike opened the door and let me in.

“Oh,” he wheezed. “Hi, Margaret. Sorry I took so long. I’m still finding my way around this place.” He gestured with a claw to the maze of halls beyond the map room.

“Sorry to bother you, Spike,” I replied. “Is Twilight around?” The baby dragon nodded.

“Yeah, she’s been organising the new library most of the day. And helping out Applejack too, I think. Why?” I quickly explained.

“Sweetie Belle and a few of the other unicorns are getting access to their magic. Cheerilee and I aren’t qualified to teach that, so I thought Twilight, if she has the time, could pitch in every now and then with lessons for them.”

I was about to go on, when all of a sudden, a lavender coloured blur all but ploughed into me. A second later, I found myself eyeball to eyeball with a very over eager Twilight Sparkle.

“Of course I can help you with some magic lessons!” she exclaimed, a wide, but somewhat unhinged smile on her face. “Rarity was telling me that Sweetie Belle had managed to use levitation for the first time. Come on, let’s go to the school. I can draw up a yearlong lesson plan for you.” She then began to trot past me, and out into the street. I turned to follow her.

“Er, Twilight?” I called after her. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to do everything here in your castle? I think Cheerilee has probably already locked the school up anyway.” Twilight was unphased though.

“Oh, no, no, no, no,” she insisted. “I need to see what facilities the school has for practice areas, and which textbooks you’ll need, there’s so much to do!”

She seemed eager to help, but there was something definitely wrong with her. From time to time, particularly when stressed, the alicorn is known to have these odd manic episodes, along with the occasional psychotic break. I turned back to Spike, who was still standing at the open door. He’d obviously been dealing with this all day. The small dragon looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. Whatever it was, even he didn’t know what was causing her behaviour. Waving goodbye to him half-heartedly, I hurried to catch up with Twilight, who had continued her planning without my involvement.

She was no use to me crazy, and as I considered the mare a friend, I tried to broach the difficult subject. I cut across her stream of consciousness and stood in her path.

“Twilight, are you okay?” I asked, with a note of concern in my voice. “Is something bothering you?”

As I said before, she’s had these episodes in the past. According to her friends, the last time was just before they went to the Crystal Empire to face King Sombra. Celestia had told her there would be a test, and she went damn near crazy trying to prepare. The time before that, it had been her being late with a friendship report, and it resulted in her inadvertently causing chaos across Ponyville, thanks to a ‘Want It, Need It’ spell. I didn’t want an action reply of either of these.

Twilight however, shook her head.

“No, no, everything’s fine,” she insisted. “Come on, we’re almost there!”

In the end, we did end up spending around an hour or so in the school, setting up everything Twilight would need to give basic magic lessons in one of the classrooms. She’d only be teaching the foals basics; levitation, light spells, transfiguration for the more advanced learners, and so on. And they wouldn’t be that strong, certainly not enough to affect me or Cheerilee.

She also made a lengthy list of what she called ‘required’ texts on the study of magic. The unicorn foals were certainly in for a tough time when Twilight’s lessons started next week. When I asked her when she’d be available to help teach for an hour or so, Twilight initially insisted on daily magic lessons. It took a lot of persuading to get her to reduce it to just twice a week, and that was more than Cheerilee and I had planned.

After all, while the unicorns were having their own special lessons, we needed to have something for the other foals to do. And at the same time, we had to give the unicorns a chance to catch up on their regular studies. This whole magic thing was going to play hell with our class schedules.

Eventually, after far more of her help than was necessary, I managed to get Twilight to leave, and locked up the schoolhouse again. At times, that mare can be certifiable, and at others, she could be a brilliant person. This was decidedly the former. But since she wasn’t telling me anything, there was little I could do to help her. Shaking my head, I turned the key in the lock and headed to town.

I was planning on heading straight home, but since I’d been stuck out here longer than I intended anyway, I decided that I might as well do some grocery shopping. Ponyville doesn’t exactly have a Co-op or Sainsbury’s, but it does have a good little town market which sells local produce. I needed to grab a few things for meals later in the week.

It was just after four when I made it to the square, and business was beginning to die down. Still, most stalls were open and had a fair bit of produce left. Experience has taught me that around this time, you can usually find some good deals to. Equestrians barter like Arabs when it comes to sales; thank God I’ve been to Egypt.

I needed a few apples for the apple crumble I wanted to make on Saturday. So I made for the stall belonging to Sweet Apple Acres. And who do I see there, but my own son; Blade Star, as he now calls himself. What was wrong with the name his own mother gave him I don’t know. And I don’t buy that whole ‘blending in’ argument of his. Lizzie kept her human name and she’s a pegasus. Still, it’s what he answers to. Well, that and ‘Bones’; the nickname Roger gave him after he developed his hillbilly accent.

Sorry, I sound a bit critical of my own flesh and blood, don’t I? He’s my son, and I love him. But good God he can be trying at times. Still, he usually gives me a discount on apples.

“Hello, Blade Star.” I greeted as I walked up to him. He was using his magic to move a few boxes around behind him. I guess he was starting to pack up for the evening. When he heard me, he turned around and smiled, pushing that cowpony hat of his back on his head.

“Hey, Mom,” he returned kindly, his soft spoken accent plain to hear. “What can Ah get ya?” Reaching into my handbag, I fished out my shopping list. After this, I needed to get a few carrots from Golden Harvest, and some cherry tomatoes too.

“I don’t suppose you’ve got any more of the golden delicious left?” I asked hopefully. He turned around and quickly checked his stock. Activating his magic again, which made both his horn and a few apples light up with a dark blue aura, he picked a few out and set them on the counter.

“All Ah got left is these four.” he replied. I quietly cringed at his butchery of his own mother tongue. Still, the apples he presented looked to be in good nick and I only needed three.

“I’ll take them. How much?” I asked.

“Three bits for the four of ‘em?” he offered. It was a fair price. If the Equestrians had discovered decimalised currency, I might try to get it lower. But two bits was lowballing, and there was no ‘half-bit’ coin.

“Sounds good to me.” I pulled out a carrier bag that I’d got with me; a habit of mine ever since the British government starting charging five pence extra for plastic bags. Bagging the four up, I struck up some idle conversation with my son. He’s grown up now, and I don’t see him as much as I used to.

“So how’s everything?” I asked. “Applejack doing okay?” The pony nodded.

"Yeah, we’re doing fine, Mom. AJ an’ me are fixin’ to go to the rodeo this year. Been trainin’ all week on those jumps. How ‘bout you? Ah know AB’s doin’ alright in her studies. Dad okay?”

“Oh, can’t complain,” I answered. “Your father’s been keeping himself busy up in Canterlot. He’s certainly putting his PhD to work I can tell you.”

I was about to go on, when I heard a pony clearing their throat behind me. Turning around, I was confronted with a somewhat irritated looking Bon Bon, who was patiently waiting her turn. I blushed a little in embarrassment.

“Oh, sorry, Bon Bon.” I said, smiling a little. The earth pony didn’t smile back. I turned back to my son. “I’d best be off. I’ll see you around.” Grabbing the bag of apples, I quickly made my exit.

My son has come a long way this past year or so. Before we ended up here, he was a student, fresh out of university, looking for work. And not finding any, I might add. The experience made him somewhat of a depressive, always seeing the glass as being half empty.

When we ended up in Equestria, it turned him around, a bit too much if you ask me though. Excited at being in this world, at times, he was a little arrogant. But time here has slowly tempered that, and he’s settled down quite well. He’s got himself a good, steady job, a place to live, and what I could almost call a second family. As weird as he can be at times, I’m proud of him.

Leaving the apple stand, I quickly worked my way around the market, grabbing what I would need, and leaving with a few bits to spare. With everything bought, and my shopping bag almost filled to the brim, I began to head for home.

As I headed for home, I looked up at the sky. It had been fairly sunny all day; in fact it had been pretty nice all week. The foals had delighted in the warm weather, even if the school playground isn’t in the best of nick right now. Any child, regardless of species, hates spending their break time indoors.

However, as I made for home, the sky began to darken a little as clouds began to fill up the sky. Now normally, I’d just accept this; weather is weather, after all. However, in Equestria, thanks to the pegasus ponies, weather is not something beyond control. In fact, it’s tightly regulated down to the last raindrop. The pegasi, you see, can actually manipulate the weather; they can walk on clouds, push them around, and even kick them out of existence. Most clouds are produced at their own floating city of Cloudsdale, at the famous weather factory.

So, you understand why I was a little confused at the sudden cloud cover. We weren’t supposed to have anything but clear skies until late on Sunday according to the schedule. Squinting my eyes a little, I could make out the pegasi taking the small tufts of cloud and sticking them together to form large, black rainclouds.

Amongst the half dozen or so ponies I saw, including Rainbow Dash; who acted as the captain for Ponyville’s patrol, I also picked out my daughter, Lizzie.

She’s a dark blue pegasus, with a long, flowing dark brown mane. It’s not too dissimilar to how her hair looked before she changed. The whole thing was the result of my husband’s ‘best friend’, Discord, playing something of an April Fools joke on her.

She lives with Fluttershy you see; helping her look after the animals she cares for in her spare time. When she was human though, there were often times she couldn’t do much to help out, since she couldn’t fly. Though to be fair, Fluttershy, despite being a pegasus doesn’t fly much. Anyway, a passing comment about this to Discord, and he worked his magic. The next morning she was a pegasus.

It was only meant to last a week. But after living as a pony for that time, and getting an offer of a paying job from Rainbow Dash, who helped her learn to fly, she asked Discord to leave her as a pony, rather than undo the spell.

And so, that was why she was up there now. She’s been with the Weather Patrol for a few months, and she recently finished her probation. She helps Rainbow and the other pegasi on the team to control the weather, particularly the rogue storms that sometimes blow in from the Everfree Forest. For whatever reason, those storms can’t be controlled, and all ponies look on the place as unnatural.

She seemed to be doing a pretty good job building up a raincloud with another pegasus; a dark grey pegasus with a silver mane; Thunderlane I think his name is. He’s Rumble’s older brother. Rumble being one of the better behaved students in my class.

Cupping a hand to my mouth, I called up to her. Presumably, she could tell me what was going on. It was unusual that the weather team would stray from the schedule like this.

“Lizzie!” I called up. She didn’t hear me “Hey, Lizzie! What’s going on?” She stopped in her work and turned to look down at the ground. She quickly picked me out. Apparently pegasi have better eye sight than the other two tribes. She said something to Thunderlane, and then broke off. Pitching onto her side, she began a steep, swooping glide, before landing just a little in front of me. Folding her wings to her sides, she tilted her head, and looked at me curiously.

“Something wrong, Mam?” she asked. While my son may sound like a hick cowpoke, my daughter hasn’t lost her accent, an odd mix of midlands and south Wales; a consequence of us moving when she was young.

“I was wondering what you were up to,” I replied, gesturing skyward. “Isn’t it supposed to be dry this weekend?” Lizzie nodded.

“Yeah, it was supposed to be. But the reservoir is starting to get low because of the heatwave. So we need a quick downpour to top it up again. Otherwise we might start to see brownouts according to the ponies up at the dam. Don’t worry; most of the rain is gonna fall tonight, it should stop early tomorrow. Then we can get back on schedule. I don’t think we have anything big until late next week.”

It amazes me just how much control ponies have over their environment, and how fine-tuned everything has to be. Sometimes it makes me wonder how on earth humanity survived without such measures.

“Any idea what time it’s going to start?” I asked. I had some washing out on the line which I’d rather not see get soaked again. Lizzie looked up at the growing storm.

“Call it twenty minutes before we start it up?” she offered. I could get home in that time.

“Oh, good,” I replied. “At least I don’t have to worry about getting the washing in in a hurry. Anyway, I’d best let you get back to work. Drop by on Saturday if you can, okay?” Lizzie opened her wings and began to flap, lifting herself a few feet into the air.

“Yeah, sure, Mam. I’ll see you around.” She then began to flap her wings harder and slowly began to climb back up to her work. I meanwhile headed for home to put away the shopping and fetch that washing in.

I got back to the house just before the rain hit. We have quite a large place, considering it’s just the two of us. It’s similar to most houses in town, a sort of mock Tudor style, with hints of Bavaria to it. We have a decent front garden, surrounded by a short, white picket fence and gate. A little stone path leads to the front door. The building is long, but not very deep. The front room and the kitchen both look out front. Up the stairs are a couple bedrooms and the bathroom, along with an en suite. It was empty at the moment of course. Roger wouldn’t be back for a couple of hours.

It has been strange not having the kids around. They were both on the cusp of moving out when we ended up here. And events just hurried things along. Blade Star lives with the Apples, and Lizzie stays with Fluttershy at her cottage. As a result, I often come home to a quiet house. Maybe we should look into getting a pet or something?

I spent the next hour or so, doing the washing. Luckily, everything had dried before the rain hit, so I could get straight on to ironing. I stuck a record, actually a CD of mine altered by Twilight to work on Equestria’s more antiquated technology, on the phonograph and set to work on the laundry.

Just as I was finishing up, I heard the front door open.

“I’m back!” a voice called from out in the hall. It was Roger, back from Canterlot.

“In the kitchen!” I answered. “How was your day?” My husband, dressed in an expensive looking suit appeared in the door a moment later.

“Oh, same old, same old,” he replied. “Although I think that ‘Trixie’ pony might be looking to appeal her sentence. Want me to make a start on dinner?” I nodded, setting the iron down to heat up again.

“Sure. What do you fancy tonight?” I asked curiously.

“Spag bol?” I smiled and nodded.

Next Tuesday was the day Twilight’s lessons were due to start. We’d already had a brief meeting with parents on Monday, and Cheerilee had run everything by the board of governors. Since everypony was happy with everything, Twilight was free to make a start, with one of us supervising. The unicorns in my charge were all pretty excited at the prospect of learning magic, even more so at the idea of being taught by a genuine, bonafide princess. The lessons would take up one half hour lesson slot on Tuesdays and Thursdays, while either Cheerilee or myself would take the other foals to another classroom to do either homework catch up, or revision work. It wouldn’t be too taxing for them, and it wouldn’t leave the unicorn students in the dust, but they wouldn’t be getting the lesson off.

It was just before nine when Twilight arrived. The foals were still all out on the playground until the bell rang, so we had plenty of time to set up. Cheerilee was watching the kids, so I went over to Twilight.

“Hello there, Twilight,” I greeted as the lavender mare walked up. “Ready for your first day?”

Twilight hadn’t actually brought that much. She was wearing her saddlebags, which held a few books and notes, but I saw no cartload of textbooks. She looked a little calmer today, and more relaxed.

“I think so, Margaret,” she replied. “And listen, I’m sorry if I freaked you out the other day.” Ah, was I getting an explanation? Twilight continued.

“I just wanted to be out of the castle for a while. I know it’s been a while now, but I still miss my old home at the library. I guess I was just avoiding my new home. I’ve been doing pretty much anything to get away from going there.” Her ears splayed back and she wouldn’t make eye contact.

“Oh, it’s alright, Twilight. I can see where you’re coming from. It took me a while to get used to our new house here too. You just have to make it feel like home.” Twilight nodded.

“It sure does now. When school finishes today, you should come and see what my friends have done to spruce up the place. Anyway, I just wanted to apologise if I worried you.” I shook my head and held up a hand.

“No apology needed, Twilight,” I assured her. “As long as you can teach these youngsters, that’s fine with me. And I will drop by later. Maybe bring you a house, or should I say, castle warming gift.”

Twilight was as good as her word. While Cheerilee looked after the pegasi and earth pony foals, I sat in on Twilight’s lesson. Since Twilight isn’t actually a licensed teacher, someone needed to be there to supervise. It was a fairly small class; Sweetie Belle, Dinky, Snails, and two or three others. After all, the whole class is no more than twenty-five. With Twilight’s help, they all made steady progress, even the not-so-bright Snails managed to make decent headway.

When the bell rang, both teacher and students were quite pleased with themselves, with the youngsters scampering off outside to show off their newly learnt abilities. Okay, all they could do so far was lift small rocks, but when you’re a kid, that’s pretty impressive. Heck, if I hadn’t been surrounded by unicorns for the last year and a half, I would be pretty impressed too.

When school let out an hour or so later, I headed back to Twilight’s castle. The place had indeed undergone some serious renovation. Chief among these was the new chandelier. It seemed that Applejack had come up with the idea. The five of them had dug out the remains of the old library and brought it over to the castle. While the bough and the branches were all virtually gone, the roots had survived mostly intact. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had then flown it up and secured the whole thing to the ceiling above the main hall. With that done, Rarity had fastened on enchanted gems, each one showcasing a memory of Twilight’s time in her old home. It really was beautiful.

It gave some…continuity, I suppose you could call it. The castle was no longer just a new place to stay, but a successor to the old library. It was a mix of the old and the new. It certainly pleased Twilight. She’s slowly taken to her new place, organising it as she wants. Other ponies have even helped out there, with Applejack and Pinkie Pie sprucing up the kitchen and Rarity doing up Twilight’s own room. Even the building itself has tried to resemble Twilight’s old library, being a great tree rather than anything else.

By the time Thursday rolled around she was more than back to her usual self. A quick amendment to her previous teaching plan, and we had a good little curriculum to use for the year.

The kids quickly adapted too, with the unicorns all looking forward to their specialised lessons. Though there was the odd side effect; Sweetie Belle learning to levitate things toward Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, neither of whom liked the idea that they couldn’t be part of the magic lessons. But aside from that, things quickly settled down into a routine, as they always did in the end. Now I just have to try and devise some sort of magical exam for them all. Who knows, maybe one day, like Twilight, they’ll be off to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.

Chapter 2 - Parents

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A couple weeks after Twilight’s bi-weekly magic lessons had started, we hit a rather important event in the school calendar; the term’s parent teacher conference, or ‘parent’s evening’ as I always knew it. While parents get annual reports at the end of each school year, each term the school holds a meeting for teachers and parents to meet up and discuss any important issues. This can be anything from slipping grades, bad behaviour, or it can be something good, such as improved performance.

It had all been scheduled for the fifteenth of this month, a Thursday night. Cheerilee and I would each meet up with all the parents and share our findings. With two of us, it would certainly be a lot easier this year, but it was still no easy task getting all the foals, and their parents into the relatively small schoolhouse.

Before we could do all that though, we had to see who was coming and plan everypony’s appointments out for the evening. As is often the case, Cheerilee and I were going to pass out letters for the parents at the end of lessons today, a week before, to see who would be attending. Back on Earth, it was usually the parents of the troublesome kids who didn’t show up, but Cheerilee assured me that everypony turned up pretty much without fail usually.

The bell rang for the end of the day just as I was telling the kids that it was time to pack away their things. I’d spent the lesson on multiplication tables and set them to work on a few worksheets, helping a few of the stragglers as needed.

“Alright, everypony,” I called out as the foals all prepared to go. “Before you go, everypony needs to come up to the front and take one of these with them.” I held up the short letter and attached slip. “It’s parents’ evening next week, so make sure your parents sign these if they’re going to be here, and bring them back to Ms. Cheerilee or me before next Wednesday.” The foals luckily didn’t try to all grab a form at once, and in a couple of minutes, they were all out the door.

I started to head around the classroom and tidy up; tucking in the chairs, picking up scraps of paper and errant pencils, and wiping down the chalkboard. Cheerilee, who had spent the last lesson marking homework in her office, quickly came to join me.

“Hey, Margaret,” she greeted warmly. “How were they all today?” I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

“As good as they usually are. Snips and Snails were having a bit of a hard time though with some of the multiplication worksheets. I’m starting to worry that they’re going to start falling behind.” Cheerilee nodded.

“I’ll take a look at their grades for the term; see if they’re just behind or still slipping.” With such a small class, we could usually afford a bit more leeway than larger schools if a few kids were struggling. With the small class we have, Ponyville Elementary would have been closed down in a heartbeat back on Earth. I switched the conversation towards less work related topics.

“So how’s Big Mac been?” I asked. Big Mac is Applejack’s older brother. Cheerilee’s been seeing him on and off for almost a year now. Not too long ago, the pair even took a little weekend getaway. Apparently it all started when the Cutie Mark Crusaders noticed that their teacher was alone on Hearts and Hooves Day. That resulted in an incident involving a love poison and the pair almost tying the knot.

Despite the odd introduction though, Cheerilee still seems to like the quiet stallion. Whenever the opportunity arises, she’ll usually take it go spend with him.

“Oh, you know how he is. He’s been kept busy at the market this last week or so. And getting Sweet Apple Acres ready for winter. I honestly don’t know how he does so much on his own. I might head to the farm tonight, see if I can lend a hoof. How about you?” I thought for a moment.

“I was planning on going to see Milano tonight, have a little chat, maybe head out to dinner. Celestia knows she needs a break from those two kids of hers.”

Milano is one of my best friends here in Ponyville. She’s Button Mash’s mom, an odd, slightly eccentric colt, with a passion for video games. We actually met at my first parents’ evening here and quickly became friends. I like to drop by whenever I can to see her. Her husband is away a lot due to his work, and I think she appreciates some company from her own gender, or at least a break from those two kids of hers.

Glancing at the front desk, I spotted a solitary form that hadn’t been picked up. We’d made up exactly the right amount, and nopony was absent today. That meant somepony had forgotten, or avoided, taking one home. They were all in envelopes with the recipients address on them. A quick glance told me who tried to duck out.

“Oh hell.” I muttered. Cheerilee looked up.

“What is it?” She spotted the letter in my hand. “Ah. Who forgot to grab their letter then?”

“Diamond Tiara.” I replied.

The daughter of local business mogul Filthy Rich, owner of Barnyard Bargains, Diamond Tiara is a constant thorn in my side. She your typical spoiled rich kid; anything she wants, her father gets for her. It makes her a rather demanding and unyielding student. No matter what, it’s never her fault. When she doesn’t bring her homework in, well why did we not keep it here? When she does badly on an assignment, she demands a second opinion. And that doesn’t even factor in the fact that she’s mean bully, particularly towards the Crusaders and Dinky Hooves, along with anypony else who doesn’t have a cutie mark yet.

On its own, this would be bad enough. But I’ve dealt with kids like her before, so it’s nothing new to me. The problem is her father. He always backs her up and tries to ensure she gets her way. So whenever there’s any kind of dispute, I worry it’s going to end up with lawyers involved.

Diamond’s grades had been slipping a little recently. It was nothing major, but I was planning to raise it with Filthy on Thursday. Now though, I’d have to deliver this to him myself. He’d ask why Diamond hadn’t gotten it, and no matter what I said, it would somehow be my fault. He probably wouldn’t even listen to my concerns anyway. He’s not a bad parent; he’s just a doting father who trusts his daughter a little too much. I mean, let’s face it, Diamond could flunk her education entirely and still inherit her father’s fortune.

Cheerilee at least understood my pain.

“Want me to come along with you?” she offered. I shook my head.

“Nah, I can manage this. I’m going to have to deal with him on Thursday anyway. You alright to lock up here?” Cheerilee nodded.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” she answered as I went to grab my coat. Autumn was giving way to winter now, and it was fairly chilly outside.

“See you tomorrow.” I called back. I then headed out the door and headed for Filthy’s gaudy mansion.

Filthy’s large mansion is hardly in keeping with Ponyville’s rustic aesthetic. It’s a big, brick built thing, ringed by wrought iron fences connected by brick pillars. I’m sure by this point he sunk a fair bit of his money into it. Walking up to the front door, I tugged on the pulley rope for the bell. Inside, I heard the connecting bell ring out a few times. A few moments later the door was opened by a dull grey earth pony in a butler’s suit. He looked me up and down a moment.

“Can I help you?” he asked, a note of sneer in his voice. I held up the small envelope.

“I have this for Mr. Rich,” I replied, my voice betraying my dislike of being here. The butler nodded, and was about to take the letter off me, when Filthy himself appeared at the door.

He’s getting on in years, with a few wrinkles appearing around his eyes. His coat is a tan colour, not too dissimilar to Mayor Mare, while his mane, once black, is now a mixture of faded black and grey. His cutie mark, perhaps unsurprisingly, was a bag of coins. Honestly, all that was missing was an overly large snout. He smiled when he saw me.

“Ah, hello there, Mrs. Owen,” he greeted in a friendly tone. His accent is similar to that of my son’s, only it has a haughtier cadence to it. Kentucky I’d say at a rough guess. “And what can I do for you on this fine day?” I handed over the letter.

I’d considered various possible strategies for dealing with this on my way over here. I could say Diamond avoided picking it up, which would only put him on the defensive. I could say I forget, which would effectively cave to Diamond and reduce my authority over her. Or, I could do what I actually did.

“Diamond Tiara must have forgotten to pick this up on her way out,” I said. I chalked it up as a draw effectively. I didn’t directly confront Diamond, nor did I give too much ground. "This term’s parent teacher conference is next Thursday. I assume you’ll want to attend?” Filthy nodded.

“Yes, yes, of course. Thank you for bringing this to me, Mrs. Owen.”

“Will it be just you, or will Mrs. Rich be joining you?” Oddly, I have never met, or even seen Diamond Tiara’s mother. She’s on the board of governors too, so I would have thought she’d at least take a vague interest in her daughter’s education.

“No, it will be just me,” Filthy answered. “My wife has some business to take care of back in Canterlot.” Ah yes, despite coming from what many Canterlot ponies describe as a ‘backwater town’ Filthy and his wife do move in some high society circles; another reason that I have to be careful.

“Very well, Filthy,” I replied as I prepared to leave. The stallion flinched at the use of his name, he much prefers ‘Mr. Rich’, but I wanted a parting shot. “Then I will see you Thursday evening. Good day.”

I headed back down the path to the street and turned right to head for Milano’s house.

I’ve made quite a lot of friends here in Ponyville. First, of course, were Twilight and her friends. Twilight in particular had been kind enough to let Roger and I stay in her library home when we first arrived.

Then there’s Cheerilee, the only other teacher in town. I met her when Twilight suggested that I talk to her. At the time, my husband had just been offered a position in Celestia’s court, and I didn’t fancy sitting idle in the new home we had been given, courtesy of said princess. So, I dropped by the schoolhouse. She was initially a bit skceptical, but after an hour or so of teaching, Cheerilee was sure I knew what I was doing. We quickly became friends after that.

But my closest friend here has to be Milano. As I said before she’s Button Mash’s mother. I’d met her through the school and we’d quickly hit it off. Milano is, like me, and old hand when it comes to parenting, having raised two boys almost on her own. Her husband is often away on business as I understand it. As such, we can both talk into the small hours, and occasionally do. I make a habit of dropping by to see her whenever I can, or to have her come over to my house for dinner.

Her house is not too far from the centre of Ponyville. Unlike Filthy’s particular abode, Milano’s home fits in quite nicely with the others in Ponyville, being a small thatched roof building. Like my own place, it has a very homely quality to it, more so given that she still has kids living in it. I do find myself missing my own children when I’m at home. It does make it seem more empty after all.

Popping round the corner, I quickly came upon the house. Knocking on the front door, I waited for an answer. I wasn’t kept long, as Button opened the door a few moment later.

There’s something to be said for the look of fear that children get when they see a teacher outside of school. They seem to think sometimes that we live in the building, and aren’t supposed to come out. Or at least, you might think that if you saw the look of shock on poor Button’s face when he saw me. I’d say the poor tyke leapt a foot in the air.

“Ah, Mrs. Owen!” he exclaimed. “What…what are you doing here?” I tried to ease his fears.

“Relax, Button,” I replied. “I’m just here to chat with your mum a bit. I’m not after you or anything.”

Button is actually a very good student, just so long as he keeps his hooves off the little video game machine of his. A moment later I heard Milano’s voice.

“Button? Who’s there?” she called from back in the kitchen. I raised my voice a little.

“It’s just me, Milano,” I called back. I heard the sound of cooking utensils being put down, followed by hooves at a trot. A moment later, Milano appeared.

“Oh, Margaret. I was wondering when you might be coming over.”

Milano is a tan coloured earth pony, with a light brown mane and tail. She keeps her mane in something of a loose ponytail, if you’ll excuse the pun, draped down one side of her face. Her cutie mark is a light pink heart and a milk bottle. I guess that symbolises her brilliant parenting skills. She certainly does know what she’s doing to have raised two lads without trouble.

Trotting over to me, Milano reared up on her hind legs to be closer to my own height. Briefly bipedal, Milano was able to hug me in a way not too dissimilar to the way a human would. We exchanged the usual greetings before she invited me in. Button meanwhile scampered off to hole up in his room until the danger had passed. He’d probably go off to play some of those video games of his. Equestria only seems to be about twenty years behind Earth on that front. I wonder what would happen if Button got his hooves on my son’s Xbox. A moment later, Milano released me.

“Anyway, come on in. I’ve just put coffee on.” she said invitingly.

“I think I need some coffee at this point.” I replied, and followed her into the kitchen.

As Milano finished up her story, the two of us burst out laughing again. We’d been chatting for about half an hour at this point, sitting at the kitchen table and talking over a mug of coffee.

“And so, I go in his room,” Milano went on. “And the poor colt looks like death warmed up. He’s sitting there in front of that machine of his, staring at the screen. And you can just tell he’s been there all night.” I nodded as I took another sip of coffee.

“Oh yeah. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.” I replied. My own son had done similar things too. Luckily he’d only done in in the holidays when he didn’t have school to worry about.

“Anyway, I ask if he really has been up all night, and comes out with this gibberish. Something like ‘no…the cat’s got it with the salad’, or something like that. So I unplug the damn thing and try and talk some sense into him. But he just grabs his JoyBoy and start playing on that. So I have to take that off him too.” She paused and shook her head, smiling at the memory. “And that was when he discovered I can speak Hungolian. Ended up grounding him for a week.”

The two of us burst out laughing again, and it was now my turn to spin a yarn.

“Oh, it’s always fun when you suddenly get to break in on their world. I remember, when mine first started getting into video games, he figured I didn’t know anything about them. Well, guess he figured wrong. I warned him about playing those games instead of doing his homework. So, one night he comes home and poof, all save data gone.” Milano giggled a little as she tried to drink her coffee.

“I might have to steal that one from you, Margaret,” she warned. “At least as a threat to keep him in line.”

“Honestly, Milano,” I said, sitting back in my chair. “Sometimes I wonder if there really is any difference between us and those Royal Guard instructors, like that Strong Shield fellow my son hangs around with sometimes. We just have to turn these adorable little hellspawn into functioning members of society.”

“Well, I’ve never had Button or Gibson doing push-ups as punishment yet.” Milano replied. I set my own mug down.

“Here, speaking of, how is Gibson doing. He still trying to get that band of his started up?” Milano nodded.

“Yeah. He’s actually not that bad you know. Okay, he’s not going to be the next Sapphire Shores, but he’s got talent. I kind of wish him and his friends didn’t just commandeer the basement though. It’s no fun being cut off from your washing machine.” That got the two of us to laugh again.

“How about yours?” Milano went on. “Lizzie seems to be doing pretty well working on the Weather Patrol. And I’ve seen Blade Star a few times running the Apples’ stand in the market.”

“Well, it certainly wasn’t what I imagined them doing when they grew up,” I replied. After all, who would see a future where both their children turn into adorable technicolour ponies? “But yeah, I’d say I’m proud of em. I thought Lizzie might want to follow me into teaching. She is pretty good with kids after all. But she seems to have taken to flying like a duck to water. And as for Bones…”

“Bones?” Milano repeated, cocking an eyebrow.

“Oh, it’s a…silly nickname Roger came up with for him. He reminds him of a character in one of those TV shows. I guess it sort of stuck. I even heard Princess Celestia call him it once.” Milano considered this for a moment.

“Huh. I was just curious, since he’s a farmer not a doctor.” I nodded, sipping the last dregs of my coffee.

“That I did not see coming. My son a bloody farmer. Back on Earth, he wouldn’t have lasted a day on a farm. Weak as a pussycat, bad hay fever in the summer, and that glass is always empty no matter what outlook of his. But he seems to be making a go of it.

“Anyway, I’d best be heading off. Your Button’s been holed up in his room for forty five minutes; he’s probably going stir crazy. I’ll see you on Thursday night in any case. And maybe over the weekend you can drop by for dinner or something.”

“Sure. Button’s off on a sleepover on Saturday anyway,” Milano said as we both walked to the front door. “I’ll see you on Thursday night.”

I spent that evening borrowing Roger’s small office that he’s made for himself in the house. After he’d moved out a few ‘sensitive’ files of his, I was free to use his desk and had a quiet place to work. I spent the evening going over the records of the foals in my charge. After all, some of them stand out more than others, and it’s important to be up to speed on what is happening with each student. That and it looks bad if you’re done talking in two minutes. Most of the time, parents want a good snapshot, but they often have a few questions too.

I kept up at this revision if you will until Thursday rolled around. I had that particular afternoon off to do some marking anyway, so I was bright eyed and bushy tailed for the parents evening.

Leaving Roger to help himself to the dinner I’d left cooking in the oven, I headed out to the school. It’s certainly odd going to a school after hours. It doesn’t fit with the normal routine that you get so used to. There’s almost a certain novelty to it. Cheerilee was just setting things up when I arrived. The parents wouldn’t be here for another quarter of an hour or so.

“Hey, Cheerilee,” I called out, rapping my knuckle on the open doorway. “Everything going smoothly?” Cheerilee was just setting out desks for the two of us, and an ad hoc waiting area in one of the other classrooms for parents to wait their turn.

“I think so,” she replied. “Pinkie Pie dropped by earlier with some cupcakes as well. They’ll certainly make the evening pass more smoothly.” Ah yes, good ol’ Pinkie Pie, Ponyville’s slightly unhinged baker, party planner, babysitter, and Element of Laughter as the situation dictates. I set to work helping set up the waiting room next door.

“So how many do you think will be here tonight?” I asked.

“Should be everypony, I expect,” Cheerilee answered. “Although Dinky said her mother might be a little late. Something about helping Time Turner out at his shop or something.”

A few minutes later, the first few ponies arrived. Rarity came first, standing in for her own parents to see how Sweetie Belle was doing. The young unicorn filly trotted along beside her. After that came Pipsqueak’s folks, then Twist’s father, then Applejack and Blade Star to talk about Apple Bloom, then Rainbow, who claimed she had an interest in Scootaloo’s education, and finally Filthy, with Diamond, his wife again conspicuous by her absence. By the time seven o’clock rolled around, we were ready to begin.

“Alright, everypony. Can I have your attention please?” Cheerilee called out. The parents and foals had been mingling around snacking on the cupcakes Pinkie Pie had brought. All eyes though now turned to the maroon earth pony.

“I’d like to thank you all for attending this year’s annual parent teacher conference,” Cheerilee began. “Hopefully this year things will be a little smoother. Since there are two of us available to talk tonight, we’ll be using two classrooms for meetings. Each of the invitations should state whether you will be seeing myself or Margaret. With that, we’ll start with you Scootaloo.” Rainbow Dash and the little orange pegasus quickly got up and followed Cheerilee into the classroom. I then stepped up.

“And I’ll be starting with…”I consulted my list. “Sweetie Belle. Rarity, you want to come through here?” The two white unicorns followed me into the other classroom, leaving the other parents to wait. I could already hear Diamond Tiara complaining to her father about not being first in line.

Stepping into the classroom, I took a seat behind my desk and invited Sweetie Belle and Rarity to pull up a chair each opposite. Sweetie Belle bounded up in a manner that sort of reminded me of a dog, while Rarity settled herself down with her usual air of dignity and refinement. I quickly opened up Sweetie Belle’s file.

“Right, shall we start with Sweetie Belle’s new magic lessons?” I suggested. Rarity nodded.

“Yes, I would love to know how my little sister is taking to magic,” Rarity replied enthusiastically. I quickly scanned the document again.

“Well, according to Twilight, and from what I’ve seen myself, Sweetie Belle has really taken to magic lessons. Her levitation spells are very stable and she has a good level of spell refinement. She has the occasional problem properly manifesting a few more complex spells, such as moving larger objects, but she’s been making steady progress.”

I went on to go over each of the subject Sweetie Belle was doing. She was a pretty good student, but there is always room for improvement if you ask me. Still, Rarity seemed quite pleased with my summary. She asked a couple of questions at the end and wanted a bit more detail on a couple points, but otherwise seemed happy. When I had finished my summary, she and Sweetie Belle departed. Next up was Milano.

The evening passed by in a steady stream of parents and foals. At this point, most of them are quite used to me; I remember at one time a lot of parents were a little worried at the prospect of a strange bipedal creature teaching their young (ponies can be remarkably xenophobic at times). Still, at this point, my opinions and assessments carry the same weight as Cheerilee’s. Most of the parents I would even call my friends. You get to know parents quickly as a teacher, and given how small Ponyville is, it’s a case of everypony knowing everypony.

Anyway, it was just getting on for eight, and I was just finishing up my last but one appointment, with Snips’ folks as it happened, when I finally came to the last one on my list, Diamond Tiara.

In a slightly trollish move as my son would put it, I’d made a point of seeing Filthy and his daughter last. The long wait would either take him down a peg, or much more likely irritate him, either option was fine by me. You do need to have a good rapport with parents, but there’s nothing wrong with a little innocent fun.

I called Filthy in, with him and his daughter being the only ones left in the hall.

“Sorry about the wait, Mr. Rich,” I said as I led him into the classroom. “But we have been rather busy this evening, you understand.” Filthy actually did seem understanding. As I said before, he’s more of a doting father who goes overboard. It’s his daughter that’s the spawn of Satan.

“No, not at all, Mrs. Owen,” Filthy replied in his somewhat deep Kentucky accent. I sat down on my side of the desk.

“Well, I’ll start with the good and then look at where Diamond Tiara could be improving,” I began. I could already see the little filly glaring at me in disgust, though Filthy was oblivious.

I went through the various subjects; Diamond was an okay student, but she was missing a few grades here and there. I then though, turned the conversation toward the delicate subject of her behaviour.

I’ve actually been here before. A while ago, there was something of an incident involving Diamond Tiara, Apple Bloom, the other Crusaders, and my own son. That resulted in a bit of a sit down with Applejack, Blade Star, and Filthy, and saw Diamond Tiara officially put on notice. So far, she hadn’t done anything beyond the pale. However, at times she could still be disruptive. I did my best to be diplomatic.

“Now, on to Diamond Tiara’s behaviour recently.” At this, the filly in question bristled. “She’s been mostly behaving herself and not bothering the Crusaders. There’s certainly been no other incidents as we had in the past.” At this, Diamond decided to chip in her two bits.

“It was the stupid hick unicorn farmer’s fault,” she sneered. I merely glared at her in response, though I didn’t care for hearing her describe my son like that. I let the conversation hang for a moment before I went on.

“However, she can at times be somewhat disruptive during lessons. Nothing serious, you understand, but enough to cause problems and disrupt other students’ learning.” Filthy quickly began rationalising.

“Oh, now I know my little filly can be a bit high strung, but I’m sure you can compensate. She doesn’t mean anything by it, do you sweetie?” Diamond quickly switched to her ‘adorable’ expression.

“No, Daddy,” she replied in a fake cutesy voice. Filthy went on.

“Why I’m sure there are a few other foals in your class that give you trouble too from time to time,” he prompted. I nodded.

“True. But they don’t work at the same consistent rate as your daughter. If I tell them to stop what they are doing, they will do so. Your daughter on the other hand, will start up again the moment she thinks she can get away with it. I’ve already had her in detention during recess four times this year.”

“That’s hardly fair on the poor filly though,” Filthy replied. “Keeping her all locked up all day. She’d just get bored during your lessons.”

I saw how the land lay. Filthy was going to try and make out that my keeping his spoilt urchin in for detention resulted in her bad behaviour. Therefore, his perfect little filly couldn’t possibly be at fault, and it had to be me, the incompetent teacher. I leaned back in my chair a moment.

“Mr, Rich, allow me to be blunt for a moment. Both Cheerilee and myself have both tried, at length, the carrot with Diamond Tiara. She hasn’t responded all too well. As such, my only option is the proverbial stick.”

Filthy though was having none of it. We soon, as was often the case, found ourselves at an impasse. It would be pointless for me to force the issue, as it would only make Filthy dig his heels in more. So, I merely gave him my opinion that Diamond’s behaviour still needed some improvement. With that, I let the two of them go on their way, and let out a long sigh of relief.

Twenty minutes later, everything was done and dusted. The school was locked up and I was ready for home. It was just getting on for quarter to nine at night, and the moon was high in the sky. I was standing outside, looking up at the night sky when Cheerilee came out.

“Phew, thank goodness that’s over,” I said to the mare.

“Everything go smoothly with Filthy?” Cheerilee asked. I shrugged my shoulders, a gesture which doesn’t have a counterpart in pony body language.

“As smoothly as you could hope for. I didn’t get far with him though. Still, at least Diamond Tiara’s been relatively well behaved recently.” Cheerilee elbowed me in the side.

“Shh, you’ll jinx it!” she whispered conspiratorially.

“Well, at least we don’t have to do that all again for a good long while,” I answered. “Is Twilight still doing her magic lesson tomorrow afternoon?” Cheerilee nodded.

“Yeah, she’s still available to help. That map thing of hers seems to be quiet for the moment. I’ll supervise her. You alright to keep an eye on the other students?”

“Sure,” I replied, nodding. “You got some worksheets I can set them on?”

“Yes, I figured it might be a good chance for snips to catch up with the rest of the class on his multiplication.”

“Fair enough then,” I replied, preparing to head for home. “See you tomorrow morning then, Cheerilee.” With that, I headed back home.

Chapter 3 - Special Assignment

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I found myself standing in a strange void. Well, void isn’t really the right word. This place, wherever it was, was like the images you might see of distant galaxies through a powerful telescope. All around me were stars, nebulas, shooting stars, planets, and everything else you’d expect to find on an episode of Star Trek. I seemed to be standing on a strange, winding path that stretched out seemingly to infinity in both directions. It too seemed to be made up of stars and nebulae. Yet somehow, it was solid and I was able to stand on it.

While I didn’t seem to be in any imminent danger; there was still sufficient air considering I was in space, I was somewhat concerned. For starters, I had no idea where in Equestria I was, or if I was even still in Equestria at all. More importantly though, I had no memory of how I had gotten here, or any clue as to how to get back.

I was about to simply start walking in one direction or another and see what happened, when I was joined by a familiar face. Appearing seemingly out of the ether, and floating on imperceptible thermals, Princess Luna floated down on the wing, and alighted beside me.

“Greetings, Margaret.” she said as she folded her wings to her sides.

Both her voice and her form seemed a little strange. It was as if she was being distorted slightly. Her voice now had something of a slight echo to it and her form seemed to ripple like water. She was around the same height as me. I’m not particularly tall at 5’0, but it puts me around Luna’s height, and taller than most ponies by a few inches. Her mane and tail, as ever with both princesses, seemed to flow in a non-existent breeze.

After standing there, thoroughly bewildered, I remembered my manners and offered a quick bow, and returned her greeting.

“Hello, Princess Luna.” I replied. The alicorn smiled a moment and shook her head.

“Please. As I often say to your son, there is no need for formality here. You may call me Luna.” I quickly got to the matter at hand.

“Where are we, Luna? What is this place?” At my question, Luna’s voice and body language betrayed a hint of pride.

“This is the realm of dreams; my domain. This is where ponies go when they sleep. I keep watch each night over my subjects, and ensure that they are not troubled by some of them more malignant creatures here.” I was taken aback. Magic is something I’ve gotten used to recently, but still, the number of times I’ve seen the laws of physics messed with here, it boggles the mind.

“So I’m asleep right now?” I asked. Luna nodded.

“Indeed. I apologise for bringing you out of your dream, but I believe we need to talk.” I still had a couple of questions though.

“How did you bring me out of my dream?” I asked. Tapping her hoof on the floor for a moment, Luna activated her dream magic. I watched as both sides of the path we stood on were suddenly populated by hundreds, if not thousands, of doors. Bedroom doors to be exact.

“Each of these portals,” Luna explained. “Leads to the dreams of a certain pony. If need be I may enter them. But I may also remove them from the dream altogether, in which case I bring them here, to the dreamscape. That is what I did in your case. I apologise for your confusion, I neglected to make you lucid until I had brought you here.” Well, that explained my amnesia.

“So what do you want with me?” I asked. Luna rapped her hoof on the ground again, and all but three of the doors vanished back into the ether. The remaining doors were clearly those which led to foals rooms, and fillies judging by the artwork on some of them.

Luna moved over to the door on the far left. A solid looking wooden door bearing the symbol of an apple on it amongst other things. Turning the knob, she opened it, revealing daylight and wide, open fields beyond. It actually was a dream. Luna gestured for me to follow her.

“Come, let me show you why I have paid call on you tonight.” She then stepped inside. Seeing no real harm if I was with an expert, I tentatively followed.

When I followed the princess through the Monsters Inc-esque door my vision briefly went white. Luckily, that didn’t last too long, and I soon got a chance to look around and see where I was.

I suppose the apple on the door should have been a decent clue for me; I was standing on Sweet Apple Acres, perhaps one of the largest apple orchards in all of Equestria. The place is looked after by Applejack, my own son, and Big Macintosh. One of my students, Apple Bloom, also calls this farm home. The Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse is also here too; a large treehouse situated in a quiet corner of the farm. Speaking of the little filly, I spotted her meandering around the farmyard.

Luna was again standing beside me and quickly explained things.

“This is little Apple Bloom’s dream,” she said, gesturing to the world around us. “Or at least, it is a recreation of a dream she had recently. Consider it an ‘action replay’ of sorts. We are invisible observers here though, so do not try and communicate with anypony. I nodded in understanding.

The two of us walked over to Apple Bloom. Imagine my surprise when I saw that she had a cutie mark. She, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle have been trying for ages to get their cutie marks to appear, trying all sort of different occupations, and causing quite a bit of trouble on occasion. But I was surprised at what her mark was. It was for pest control of all things. I would have expected that, given her family history, her mark would be in some way related to farming, or apples. I wouldn’t even be surprised if it was something like DIY or potion making; she has been taking lessons with Zecora, our friendly neighbourhood shaman, quite a bit recently. But no, in her dream, her special talent, her defining characteristic, was capturing annoying little pests called ‘Twitter Mites’; annoying little insects, somewhat like parasprites, that can create electric shocks when they form into a swarm.

There’s an internet joke in there somewhere, but I’ll leave it alone.

Anyway, understandably, she was a little upset at this rather humdrum ‘destiny’ and found herself wishing her new cutie mark away. Running into the Everfree Forest, she found this wish granted by some unknown being. Though judging by the Equalist drivel it was spewing, I almost thought it to be that Starlight Glimmer pony Twilight and her friends had recently lit a fire under. Apple Bloom asked this being to remove her cutie mark from her, which it was happy to oblige.

So, her cutie mark was gone, much to the little filly’s relief. However, at that moment, a massive swarm of Twitter Mites began to swarm around the farm. In a matter of moments, they had gathered enough strength to attack the farmhouse. Poor Apple Bloom had to watch as her home was turned to ash by the parasites.

Everything went black then, presumably that was when she woke from the nightmare. However Luna explained what happened next.

“The dream then began to destabilise and form itself into a loop. Apple Bloom relived the same basic scenario several times before I could intervene, she would wake up with a cutie mark, and it would somehow bring nothing but sadness to her.

“Eventually, seeing the trauma the poor thing was being put through, I stepped in and banished the nightmare. The creature was her own shadow; the darker part of herself. I then brought her to the dreamscape as I did with you.”

Dreams in Equestria are funny things. They aren’t just random images strung together and forgotten after we wake up. They are often more like visions and are usually carrying some sort of message. Freud would have a field day if he ever came to Equestria. The meaning of Apple Bloom’s dream was obvious.

“So Apple Bloom is anxious about getting her cutie mark?” I asked. Luna nodded.

“She is,” she replied. “The filly is worried what will happen if she doesn’t get what she deems the ‘right’ mark. It is a difficult time for somepony her age after all.”

“Very true,” I replied.

Ponies have it a little easier than humans when it comes to finding a purpose in life. When they realise that purpose, a symbol of it appears on their hind quarters. They even have a little party afterwards to celebrate. But it isn’t as simple as that. Not every mark is clear and simple. Applejack is a skilled apple farmer, so her mark is three apples. The same can be said of Big Mac. Rarity in contrast, is a skilled fashion designer, yet her cutie mark is three gems. And don’t even get me started on what Diamond Tiara’s cutie mark means. I mean what is it really? Is it possible to have being a spoilt brat as your special talent?

Apple Bloom, like many her age, was at a crossroads of life. And it’s a daunting position to be in. It was natural that she be anxious.

“So what did you do to help?” I asked the night princess.

Summoning the same door through which we entered this dream, Luna led me back out into the dreamscape. I found myself standing on the strange road of stars as before.

“As I said, I quickly stepped in to banish the nightmare. After all was calm I talked with the filly at great length.” One of the benefits of dreaming is that your mind works faster. Time as a result moves faster in a dream. After all, I know I’ve had dreams that lasted a few days in just one night. As a result, Luna can tend to lots of ponies in just one night.

“I did my upmost to calm her fears. I showed that many others felt the same way as her, including her two friends as it turned out.” That got me to perk up my ears.

“Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo had nightmares too?” I asked.

“Indeed they did,” Luna replied. “They were all centred around the same fears and all had a similar form. I rescued each of them and brought them here to a place of safety. I let them talk with each other to try and allay their fears.

“Many ponies, particularly young ones often misunderstand just how cutie marks work. They are not some all-encompassing, all defining mark for life. They merely show what a pony is good at, and what they enjoy. Take your son, for example. His cutie mark is that of a pair of crossed swords, correct?”

“Yes,” I replied, nodding briefly. “Something to do with his knack for ‘defensive magic’ or something.”

“Precisely,” Luna went on. “He is quite skilled in the use of such magic. Yet I have not seen him enlisting in the rank of my, or my sister’s, guard. Surely that would be his most suitable profession? Instead he is a farmer, an unusual occupation for a unicorn, regardless of their mark.”

“I think I’m beginning to see where you’re coming from.” I replied. Luna smiled.

“Good, because I have a request for you,” she said. “I would like you to help those three fillies, and any other foals in your school that may be experiencing the same anxiety. A cutie mark is something that should be hoped for, not feared as some grim spectre.” A mission from the princess? Perhaps I should change my name to Twilight Sparkle?

“That does sound like a good idea, Luna,” I agreed. “I’ll make a start with the crusaders tomorrow.” Luna’s smile now broadened into a wide grin that would make Pinkie Pie proud.

“Excellent. Then, if you have no objection, I shall return you to the waking world.”

Casting her magic again, the world suddenly began to distort even more. Luna floated away into the distance, wishing me well before she vanished. One by one, the stars and nebulae disappeared into nothingness, and for a moment I was left in a black emptiness. A moment later though, I left and woke up.

I came to fairly steadily, waking up with bleary eyes. Blinking a few times to fetch out the sleep that had accumulated in them overnight, I sat up in my bed. Today was Saturday, so I didn’t have to head to work today. The clock on my bedside table read just after nine.

I had the bed to myself at the moment. My husband has always been a bit of an early riser. While he wouldn’t be off in Canterlot today, I expected that he would be doing some work in his study downstairs.

Throwing the covers off, I stepped into my slippers and got out of bed. I grabbed my dressing gown from the back hook on the bedroom door and headed out onto the landing. Making my way downstairs, I found Roger helping himself to some breakfast; scrambled eggs on toast.

“Morning, dearest,” I said as I walked into the kitchen. I got a vague reply through a mouthful of toast. Grabbing some cornflakes and milk, I sat down opposite him at the table.

“I had this really strange dream last night, you know,” I began. Roger groaned and rolled his eyes. “Princess Luna dropped by. She wants me to go and check on the Cutie Mark Crusaders today. They all seem to be a bit worried about getting their cutie marks.” At this, my husband finally had the common courtesy to swallow his food and talk to me.

“Oh? How are you going to do that then?” he asked curiously. I shrugged my shoulders as I tucked into my own breakfast.

“Well, school’s out today, I guess I’ll just drop by their homes. I’ll see if I can grab a casket of cider for you from Applejack, then I’ll stop by Rarity’s to see Sweetie Belle, and maybe have a natter with her, and then I’ll go and see Scootaloo.”

“Busy day then?” Roger asked. “I’ll be here if you need me. I’ve got a couple files that need going over, but I should be done by this afternoon.”

“Alright,” I replied. “I’ll just finish my breakfast, get dressed, and then I’ll be off.”

Around twenty minutes or so later, I was dressed and ready to go. The weather had cleared up since the last time I’d seen Lizzie, and it was now a warm sunny day, though luckily, there was a light breeze blowing so it didn’t become close or sticky. Heading out the house, I began to skirt around the far side of Ponyville. Sweet Apple Acres was a little ways outside of town, and it was a fair walk from the front gates to the farmhouse.

Heading along the dirt paths, I passed under the floating cloud home belonging to Rainbow Dash. The place was a small mansion almost. I guess when you build something out of clouds, building costs tend to drop a bit. The place even had a waterfall made of liquid rainbows. And rumour has it that the captain of the local Weather Patrol has managed to fine tune the substance into a cure for a bad hangover. It sounds like ingesting axle grease to me. The only rainbow coloured food I trust is zap apples; the odd rainbow coloured, occasionally electric, apples that the Apple family harvest to make their famous, and high secretive, zap apple jam.

And then of course there are those cupcakes Pinkie Pie makes, but she hasn’t made any of those in a while.

Before long, I found myself on Sweet Apple Acres. The scenery went from a rural village and was turned into pleasant orchards. It reminded me in some ways of my own childhood home in Shropshire, back before the urban sprawl began to creep in. Everything was farmland as far as the eye could see. I smiled to myself as the memories returned.

There was this crazy old boy that lived not too far down the road from me. He had this bonkers idea about breeding pine trees.

Meandering my way through row upon row of apple trees, as well as the other crops the apples harvested, corn and carrots, as well as some grazing land for the cattle and sheep, though they mostly take care of themselves. Before long, I came to the farmyard proper.

The centre of the Apple homestead was dominated by the huge red barn that served as both their biggest storage shed, and also their family home. Around that were a few smaller barns, a well, a fenced off bit of land with sheds for the flock of chickens that the Apples’ used for eggs, and the small slice of the Somme that marked the pig pen. I’m not actually sure what the Apples use them for. They aren’t for meat that’s for sure. Waste disposal maybe, get rid of all the waste and bad produce that can’t be sold? I should ask my son when I get the chance.

And speak of the devil and he shall appear. I spotted my son a little ways away from the farmhouse, in one of the nearby open fields. He was sitting down on his belly, almost like a large dog, a book propped up in front of him. Lying down next to him, her tail wagging idly, was Winona, the family’s working dog. Since nopony else seemed to be about, I decided to talk with him for a while.

“Blade Star!” I called out waving my right hand above my head a moment. My son however, didn’t respond.

He can get like that sometimes; lost in a good book. I guess that’s why he and Twilight initially got along so well, and still do today. Still, usually, if you shout loudly enough you can get through. This time though, I was having a bit of trouble.

I was only a few feet away from him, and still yelling without any result. Had the unicorn I call my son gone deaf or something in the night? As I drew nearer though, I spotted a possible cause.

The air around him was shimmering. Normally, I’d chalk this up to heat. But while it was a nice day today, it wasn’t that warm; we were on course for autumn after all, and the Running of the Leaves was in a week or so. And, it only seemed to be happening near him too. I guessed that it was his magic at play.

While my son himself confesses that he can’t hold even a candle to Twilight in terms of power or ability, he does have a fairly decent repertoire of spells. His ‘special talent’ as Princess Luna said, lay in defensive magic; stun spells, shields, and the like. He’s learnt a fair bit from an old Royal Guard officer, as well as from Twilight, who taught him more day-to-day spells like levitation.

One of the more interesting spells he’s picked up from Twilight though, is an illusion spell. He described it as having a ‘mental holodeck’. Essentially, he can put up a little sphere around himself and project an image onto it; sort of like putting on a pair of virtual reality goggles. He uses it when he wants somewhere to study or relax. I know for a fact he used it to recreate Twilight’s old library for a while. One of the by-products of the spell though, was that you couldn’t hear or see anything outside of the illusion. The surface though, was quite malleable, and you could just step through. I decided to surprise him.

Quickly stepping through into his little illusion, I planned to spook him by grabbing him in a bone crushing hug that only mothers seem able to do. I expected that he would have created an illusion of Twilight’s old library again, or maybe the old castle in the Everfree from back in its heyday. But in actuality, as soon as I stepped out, I found myself in a whole other world.

The first thing I felt was heat. An illusion it may be, but magic still lets you feel things through all your senses, and what I was feeling right now was a close, still heat. It was bright too. I squinted against the bright glare and put a hand up to shield my eyes. A few moments later, my eyes began to adapt; all around me was sand, lots of it, peppered with tufts of dry grass, and areas of fine volcanic rock here and there. We were standing on some sort of natural stone overhang on a cliff, overlooking a barren plain below. Off in the distance, there was a smattering of green, possibly even an oasis.

I didn’t realise that Blade Star could create such wide open landscapes. I’d assumed that his ability was restricted to creating small rooms and the like.

Speaking of my son, he’d looked up from his book and quickly taken note of my presence. He wasn’t wearing his usual cowpony hat, or rather, it was concealed by the illusion he was weaving. In its place was a chequered red and white shemagh, held around his head by a black agal, wrapped in the style of a Bedouin. Along with that, he also wore a long dishdasha, covered mostly by a black sleeveless cloak. The ensemble completely covered his coat, even his tail.

“Hey, Mom,” he said kindly. His voice was a little muffled, as the shemagh was wrapped around his snout. “What brings ya out this way?” I had so many questions.

“What on earth are you wearing?” I exclaimed. The silly idiot would be sweating under all those layers in this heat. “And where is this anyway?” He gestured out toward the oasis in the distance.

“Wadi Rum,” he replied, his accent slipping into slight Arabic as he pronounced the name. “In modern terms, somewhere in Jordan, not too far from Aqaba.” He paused and showed me what he was reading. It was ‘The Seven Pillars of Wisdom’.

“I figured I might as well read this where it all happened,” he went on. “As for the get up, it keeps the sand and dust out, keeps me cool too.” I rolled my eyes. As I’m sure I’ve said many times, my son is just a little odd every now and then.

Winona suddenly yapped at me, having awoken from her slumber. Sniffing at me for a moment, the collie then scampered off for pastures new. I neglected to mention to him that in this neck of the woods, dogs were considered vermin rather than beloved pets. Blade Star set his book down and got up, deactivating his little illusion. His Stetson reappeared as did his grey coat, along with his blue mane and tail.

“Anyway, what can Ah do for ya?” he asked, pushing his hat back on his head. That seems to be something of a tick for him. I quickly explained Princess Luna’s visit, and how she wanted me to talk with Apple Bloom today.

“Well, that explains why she was getting’ all worked up ‘bout her cutie mark yesterday. And why she seems to be much happier now. Ah think she’s with AJ mashin’ strawberries at the moment.”

Heading off towards the other side of the farmyard, Blade Star led me to a large vat that had been set up. The thing had to be around eight feet from floor to brim, and just as wide across. The wooden vat was filled with strawberries which would presumably be turned into jam. Or jelly as the ponies insist on calling it. One day I’m going to have to teach the foals proper English, like how to pronounce aluminium. Inside the vat were both Applejack and Apple Bloom. The pair of them were having a whale of a time jumping up and down, slowly turning the produce into mush.

“Apple Bloom!” my son called up, catching her attention. “Your teacher’s here to see ya.” Apple Bloom, with an air of unexpected grace, leaped out of the vat and landed just in front of us.”

“Hey, Blade Star,” she greeted cheerfully, she then turned to me. “Hey, Mrs. Owen. How come y’all are out this way?” I kneeled down a little to be closer to Apple Bloom’s eye level.

“Believe it or not, Apple Bloom,” I replied. “I’m here on royal business. Princess Luna herself asked me to come and check up on you and your friends. She said you three have been a bit worried about getting your cutie marks.” A look of understanding came onto Apple Bloom’s face, and she nodded.

“Yeah, we were all letting our fears get the better of us,” she agreed. “But the princess really helped us all out. We’re even back to plannin’ our next cutie mark idea.”

Oh god.

“Hey, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are still up at the clubhouse now anyway. Ah was just helpin’ Applejack for a while.” Blade Star chipped in.

“Don’t you worry ‘bout that, AB,” he said reassuringly. “Ah’ll take over for ya for a while.” He then took a running leap and with, with a noticeably lower amount of grace and finesse, pulled himself into the vat and joined Applejack, quickly getting his hooves and some of his coat stained with the beginnings of the jam. Apple Bloom them grabbed my arm.

“C’mon, Mrs. Owen,” she said excitedly, almost bouncing on her hooves. “Ya can come and help us in the clubhouse.”

I didn’t put up any resistance, not that there was much point. Maybe I can steer the three tykes away from some of their more potentially apocalypse causing ideas.

Apple Bloom took me deeper into the orchards that surrounded the farmyard. While to me it all looks the same, she seems to know the whole place like the back of her hoof. After a short walk, the two of us arrived at what Apple Bloom described as the quietest part of the farm. The area was a sort of grove, apple trees bracketed the area all around, but created a sort of clearing. In this clearing was the Crusaders clubhouse.

It was actually Applejack’s treehouse from when she was a filly, but she had given it to the Crusaders, who had promptly renovated it (and sadly not gotten their cutie marks in building restoration) and made it their own. It was a fairly large thing, supported by the large tree in which it sat. A small set of steps led up to the front entrance. It was actually quite ornate if I’m honest. It has glass windows, a proper door, and even interior decoration. Most amazing of all though, was the tower that the Crusaders had added, which went up the tree and allowed them to observe the surrounding area for miles.

Heading inside after the filly, I was forced to duck down a fair bit. The place was designed for foals, not full grown adults. Inside, I found that Apple Bloom had joined her two friends in their ‘thinking spot’. They basically stand in one corner of the room and try to think of new quests to try out. After that they chalk it up on their little idea board and then head out to have a go at whatever it is they’ve decided on. Their approach is actually somewhat logical, only they tend to go for more outlandish ideas.

I was just about to quietly excuse myself when the three fillies jumped up liked grease lighting.

“I’ve got it!” Sweetie Belle declared proudly. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo quickly turned their attention to her.

“What is it, Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah, tell us. Tell us now!” the more eager Scootaloo demanded. Pointing at the board, which now had a new little sketch on it, Sweetie Belle delivered her verdict.

“Teaching!” she exclaimed. The two fillies looked at each other in confusion.

“Er, come again, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo asked. The little unicorn pointed to me.

“Like Mrs. Owen and Ms. Cheerilee,” she explained. “Think of all the stuff we’ve done outside school that we could teach other ponies. Apple Bloom, you could teach ponies about those potions Zecora helped you with, and Scootaloo, you could teach ponies all your scooter tricks. And I could do singing lessons.”

The pair considered this for a few moments. All of a sudden…

“Yay! Cutie Mark Crusader Teachers!” the three fillies trumpeted out. Grabbing their capes, the trio galloped out of their clubhouse as fast as their little legs could carry them, leaving me standing in the dust.

“Well,” I said to myself. “At least they aren’t worried about their cutie marks anymore. And, I mean, what harm can they do trying to teach other ponies?”

Chapter 4 - Long Term Relationships

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The majority of my family, myself included, live a pretty normal existence. Well, as normal as possible in a land of talking ponies. I’m just a schoolteacher in a small town, my son is an apple farmer, and my daughter is a member of the local weather patrol. My husband though, moves in somewhat more important circles.

When we first arrived here, the four of us were taken by Twilight Sparkle up to Canterlot to meet with the princesses. We stayed there I think, a night or so, sleeping in the castle. While we were there, we were given the rare opportunity to dine with royalty, and talk in a less formal setting. And, of course, we had free reign over most of the castle too.

Back in our old lives, my husband was a respected solicitor; he had his own firm as well, and had gone back to school to work on his doctorate. Celestia, and my son, had told us about how each of the princesses held their own courts when they were on the throne. I don’t quite get how it’s all supposed to work; the workload the two alicorns face must be massive to the point of being impossible, but apparently, they act as a sort of court of appeals. Any major issue can be brought before the court and be heard by the princess.

Since there was little else to do at the time, Roger asked if he could perhaps sit in on a session or two, which Princess Celestia readily agreed to. He’d also begun raiding the nearby archives and comparing their legal system with ours.

Anyway, after it became apparent that we were stuck here for the time being, Roger quickly began to think about finding a new job. Princess Celestia gave us a stipend to help us get on our feet, but neither my husband nor I fancied living the rest of our lives on this world’s version of the dole. He was considering starting up a firm here or in Canterlot initially. However, having apparently watched him during her court session, and being suitably impressed, the princess offered him a job as one of her advisors.

Essentially, he acts as an aide to Celestia when it comes to the nitty gritty aspects of the law and Equestria’s legal system. He covers trials, appeals, disputes, and any other legal matter, assisting the princess during court. He’s been at it now for the better part of a year and has settled in quite well in Canterlot Castle. He commutes every day by train up the mountain and comes home in the late evening.

It was certainly a step up from his old job. I quickly had to adapt to his more serious work, which could keep him away from home at times. Still, he was hardly in any danger. Okay, sure, the odd villain he sent down promised he’d get him, but so did clients back on Earth that didn’t get let off.

However, I suddenly found that he had taken on a couple new duties. Suffice it say, there was no way we were going to get insurance now.

It was about half past five on a Monday. I was in the living room, with the ironing board set up in front of me, finishing up with the washing. I’d turned on the little movie projector we have to watch a film while I worked. Outside, the ground was still sodden; the result of some mishap involving Cloudsdale’s weather factory. And if the rumours around town are to be believed, Rainbow Dash had something to do with it. The snow had been cleared away a few days before. I was just about done when I heard the front door open and close.

“I’m back!” Roger’s voice called from out in the hall.

Setting the iron down on its stand, I walked out into the hallway myself. He was back a little later than usual; probably a busy day at the office. I found him standing at the front door, his suit somewhat wrinkled and a briefcase in his one hand. He looked tired and worn out.

“Busy day?” I asked as I walked up and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Sort of,” he replied. “Celestia’s asked me to taken on a bit extra workload for a while.” That piqued my interest. Had he gotten a promotion or something?

“Oh, so what are you doing now then?” I asked.

At my question, he became a bit uncertain. His free hand went up and scratched at the back of his head, and he gritted his teeth a little, not making eye contact. Whatever, it was, he was worried that I wouldn’t take this well.

He was right too.

“Well, Celestia wants somepony to act as a sort of security guard you see.” Well, that didn’t sound so bad. “Someone needs to keep an eye on all the prisoners in Tartarus.”

I’m fairly certain my mind misfired at that point.

Tartarus was a sort of magical prison complex; a place where all the really dangerous lunatics live. That evil bugger Tirek had been sent back there not so long ago. Not a day I care to remember all that much. Every single thing down there is bloody dangerous. For goodness sake, the place is guarded by this giant three headed dog! And my husband was supposed to be wandering around it now? I didn’t take things well.

“She wants you to what?!” I exclaimed in shock. Roger instantly went for damage control.

“Now, dear, I know it’s a bit of a shock…” he tried, but I cut him off.

“It’s more than a blooming shock. It’s bonkers! What about all those monsters down there. For Christ’s sake, Tirek’s down there!”

To be fair, my husband had tried to take a swing at the looney centaur six months ago. He’d got thrown against the wall of the house for his trouble too.

“Yes, and they’re all locked up, chained down, and behind bars.” he replied, trying to placate me.

“Why does she want you to do it anyway? How are you even supposed to protect yourself from everything down there?” Roger set his briefcase down on the side table and led me into the living room.

“She already asked Discord to do it, but he refused to. You know how he feels about Tirek.”

I don’t usually get on well with my husband’s best friend; a certifiably insane serpentine chaos god, but I do agree with him on the subject of Tirek. I swear…if I ever…ever see that vicious sonofabitch again…I’ll rip those horns off his head with my bare hands!

“So what, you’re the backup man are you?” I asked incredulously. “What about that massive dog thing that guards the place?” At this point, Roger started to get a bit sick of arguing.

“He wanders off sometimes. That’s how Tirek got out in the first place!” he shot back.

“Oh, and you’re in a perfect position to stop him aren’t you,” I replied.

“Actually I am,” he countered, raising his voice a little more. “No magic means he can’t hurt me in his current state. And most of the other creatures down there won’t be able to bother me either.”

“Most?” I parroted. Roger sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Look, it’ll be perfectly safe, alright? I’ve already agreed to it.”

“Oh wonderful,” I cheered back. “Glad to see we’re still doing things as a couple!”

At that point, he evidently got sick and tired of arguing with me. He was ultimately right, the whole time he was there he never had any real trouble from the inmates. And he always did have both Celestia and Cerberus on hand if he needed help. Still, at that moment, I wasn’t so sure. It does sound rather dangerous after all, going to Equestria’s version of hell. Getting up, Roger decided to try and calm things down.

“Alright, listen,” he said, trying his upmost to be calm. “I’ve already agreed to do this with Celestia’s help. She’s already shown me round the place. I promise you, I’ll be quite alright.” He straightened out his jacket.

“Now, I’m going to head down to the Tavern for a while. We can talk again when we’ve both calmed down.” He then headed for the front door, and promptly left, leaving me alone in the house again.

For the uninitiated, let me fill you in on something. Sometimes, fights can descend to a very base level. It stops being about who is right or wrong, and comes down to winning or losing the fight. While it had all turned out right in the end, this past year had been pretty stressful. Tirek’s brief escape aside, I’d been brought to another world against my will, and forced to pretty much restart my life. I guess it was just this particular straw that finally broke the camel’s back.

With Roger gone, I decided to brood, and think about how I could convince him I was right. It probably doesn’t help that we’re both Capricorns. Whenever we do argue, we both have a very strident belief that we’re right and our opponent is wrong. We rarely fight like that though. The last time I’d had a real shouting match with him had been before the kids were born. Believe it or not, it was about our house’s wheelie bin, which had gotten chewed up by the bin lorry that morning. I almost threw him out of the house.

Still, we both came around, and we would eventually do the same about this. At present though, I was firmly set in the belief that it was far too dangerous for my husband, my fifty-five year old husband, who needs varifocals to see anything half the time, to go down into Equestria’s answer to hell and damnation, to visit the local fruitcakes.

About twenty minutes later there was a knock at the door. That couldn’t be Roger; he had his own keys after all. So, turning off the projector and the film I had been watching, I went to see who it was.

I see Twilight on a pretty regular basis, when she’s not off saving Equestria or dealing with some friendship problem of course. But I’ve also met with the other three alicorn princesses on more than one occasion. Aside from Princess Luna occasionally dropping in on my dreams, I’ve actually had Princess Celestia at my house for a party.

It was the third princess of Equestria though, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, or Cadance as she prefers, that was standing outside my front door. Well, it’s not every day that the Princess of Love and the ruler of Crystal Empire pays call on you is it? Offering a brief bow, I greeted the young alicorn, who was slightly smaller than Princess Luna was.

“Hello, Princess Cadance,” I said kindly, opening up the door and ushering her inside. “What brings you out to Ponyville?” Cadance smiled and shook her head.

“You can just call me Cadance, Margaret,” she replied. Honestly, aside from Princess Celestia, do any of the princesses use their titles that much? “As for why I’m out here, Roger asked me to come and talk to you.”

Well, very well played on my husband’s part; sending Equestria’s cupid to broker a truce. Aside from the title, Cadance’s magic is specialised toward love. While she cannot force ponies to fall in love, she can, as she puts it, lift the fog between two ponies and help them see their feelings for each other. My son in contrast, who doesn’t seem to care much for the pretty, pink princess, says it reminds him too much of changeling hypnosis magic. In any case, I doubted that she’d be using that magic on me though.

Closing the front door behind her, I led the young alicorn, she’s not that much older than Twilight after all, into the kitchen and sat down with her at the dining table.

“Fancy a cup of tea, while you’re here?” Cadence nodded.

“Thank you,” she replied. Luckily, I’d made a pot a few minutes ago, and had just been finishing my first cup when the doorbell went. A quick check assured me that the tea hadn’t stewed in the pot. Setting a cup down in front of her, I sat down opposite.

“So, you’ve been sent as the peace envoy, have you?” I asked jokingly. Cadance giggled as she sipped at the slightly bitter tea.

“No, nothing like that,” she replied. “Although Roger did tell me that he was going to apologise to you when he got back. No, I’m here to try and provide you with some reassurance.” I sighed to myself.

“Cadence, you can’t seriously expect him to go down to that hellhole can you?”

“Celestia actually took him down there this afternoon. She said he handled things very well. He even went up to talk with Tirek in his cell. It isn’t as dangerous as you might think really. The prisoners can’t leave their cells, or even move around that much for the most part. Plus, since Roger doesn’t have any magic, he’s far less at risk than a pony would be.” I frowned and offered a rebuttal.

“I just worry if something does go wrong. I know from Fluttershy that Cerberus is staying put now she goes and visits him from time to time, but no prison is completely inescapable.” Cadance’s voice now became a little more dour.

“Margaret. Trust me what I say this. There is no way out of that prison.”

I had good reason to trust her word. When Tirek had gotten out, in a petty act of spite, he’d locked the three princesses away in Tartarus. They’d only been able to leave after Twilight and her friends knocked him six ways from Sunday and put him back where he belonged. With their magic restored and his gone completely, they were able to leave without trouble.

“Well, I can take your word on that.” I agreed.

I was still worried, but it was because I loved him and didn’t want anything to happen to him. I’d been the same when he would go down to the cells to meet with his clients. Particularly after that one randomly kicked off. That resulted in him and Roger getting a face full of pepper spray thanks to an over eager bobby. He was alright of course; the officers outside had quickly burst in when the security alarm went off, but it still shook me up.

I sighed and set down my cup of tea.

“I just worry about him, Cadance,” I said. “Neither of us are getting any younger, and he’s done his bit for king and country. I had hoped that this ‘legal advisor’ job he’d gotten would just mean him sitting in an office all day long, not going gallivanting off to the depths of hell.”

Getting up from her seat, Cadance walked around to me, and placed a comforting wing on my shoulder.

“Hey, I know how you feel. I get the same way about Shining Armor. After we defeated Sombra, I didn’t let him out of my sight for a week. I thought that, with him becoming a prince, he’d stop being so much of a soldier. But he still is. I remember once, I asked him why he still wants to risk his neck like that. He told me that he’d rather he did the dangerous jobs, so that nopony else would have to.”

Yeah, that sounded like my knucklehead of a husband too. He always was the sacrificial type. If there was ever a difficult job that needed doing, he’d be the first to volunteer for it. He pushed himself like that, as if he was punishing himself.

Plus, Cadance did make some other good points. As a foreign species, effectively an alien, a lot of the ‘rules’ of this world didn’t apply to him. While we could be affected by magic, neither of us had any within ourselves. I suppose he is the ideal candidate to deal with Tirek then, and any other creature that relies on attacks directed at a pony’s magic. He can’t have his magic stolen, he can’t have his cutie mark taken away; it makes him a lot less vulnerable I suppose. I could see where both he and Celestia were coming from.

And, as my son would put it; ‘the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one’. If him going down there stops another incident like Tirek from happening, then it makes sense for him to do so.

Hell, let’s face it; he’s stubborn as a mule. Even if I still disagreed with the idea, there would be no stopping him. If he says it safe, and if the princesses say it’s safe, then I have to agree that it’s probably safe. Doesn’t mean I have to like it, mind you.

“Roger probably thinks the same way that your Shining does,” I said to Cadance. “Heck, I know I’d give almost anything to prevent another day like the day Tirek escaped. Just promise me that he’ll be safe.” Cadance placed her hoof on my hand.

“I promise, Margaret. Both my aunts will be watching closely whenever he’s down there. So will Discord and Cerberus.”

That was all I could really ask for wasn’t it? I guess the potential danger was more obvious in that situation. My life could be just as dangerous. I could walk outside tomorrow and be struck by an errant bolt of lightning. Blade Star could have an apple tree break and fall on him. Lizzie could get sucked into an out of control storm. They were all just as serious risks, and honestly, based on what Cadance told me, they were just as likely as Roger being hurt down in Tartarus. But I didn’t fret about those every day, did I? So why should I worry about this?

“Thanks for coming here, Cadance,” I said at length. “You’ve taken a load off my mind. Still, I’ll be glad when he’s back on the right side of the line.”

“That’s all I can hope for,” Cadance replied simply. Setting her mug of tea down, she got up and made for the door. “Well, I hate to cut and run like this, but I need to get back to the Crystal Empire. The delegation from Yakyakistan is supposed to arrive in a few days.” I got up and followed her to the front door.

“I appreciate you coming down here, Cadance. And I expect Roger does too. I’m just sorry you had to come all the way down here for something so little as an argument between the two of us.”

“Margaret, I’m the Princess of Love,” Cadance replied. “I’m pretty certain helping couples kiss and make up is in my job description. Think nothing of it.” The alicorn opened her wings and prepared to take off.

“Alright, Cadance. Thanks again. Fly safe.” Cadance then flapped her wings a few times and ascended into the air. After putting a bit of distance between herself and the ground, she activated her magic and disappeared in the signature flash and pop of a teleport.

Cadance’s departure left me alone again for a while. My temper had cooled almost completely, and I’d either accepted or been reassured about the risks Roger might be facing in his new duties. It was actually quite surreal thinking about it. I mean, who else can say that they have to worry about their husband going down to Hell to do inventory once a month?

I decided that it was something I could live with in any case. Living in Ponyville, which seems to be a magnet for unusual and occasionally life threatening events meant he was probably uninsurable already.

Actually, I’m not sure if ponies even have the concept of insurance, never mind premiums.

It was on that peculiar thought that I heard the door open.

“Hello?” Roger called out hopefully. “Margaret? I’m back.” He appeared a moment later in the doorway, proverbial hat in hand. I smiled at him with my arms folded in a faux stern manner.

“Sending the Princess of Love to my doorstep,” I said wryly, raising an eyebrow. “That’s a new one I must say.” He looked at me sideways.

“Did it work?” he asked hopefully. I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, of course it worked, you daft bugger,” I said, hugging him. He relaxed and hugged me back. “Sorry I got so worked up about all this. But you know I worry about you.”

“I know, I know,” he replied. “I worry about you too. Particularly with those Cutie Mark Crusader kids around. Now come on, I’ll put some dinner on.” He then headed into the kitchen. It was a bit late now, but he could probably heat up some leftovers or something.

“So how was Cadance anyway?” he asked as he stood at the stove. “I didn’t have much chance to talk to her after I sent her a letter.” Ah, that explains it.

“Oh, so you roped poor Spike into this as well did you?” I asked. He nodded.

“Come on, us guys have to stick together. Especially in a town with such a skewed bias towards females.” I laughed at that.

The next morning, I got up a little earlier than usual to see Roger off. Since the train ride up to Canterlot takes the better part of an hour, and another half hour for him to get up to the castle itself, he has to leave quite early to be there for the ceremonial opening of the court at eight. I meanwhile, don’t need to be at school until half past eight, so I tend to sleep a little longer.

This time though, given that today was his first proper visit to Tartarus, I made a point of seeing him off and wishing him luck. I wasn’t worried, well no more so than whenever I let him walk out of the house. Dressed in his suit and with his briefcase in hand, he headed off to the train station as I waved goodbye.

After seeing him off, and saying hello to Blossomforth, who happened to be passing by at that moment, I headed back inside. One of my husband’s few annoying habits is what he does with his breakfast. He doesn’t wash the damn things up; instead he puts everything next to the sink. Why he can’t manage those last few inches I’ll never know. Seriously, they might as well be halfway down the sodding garden for all the good it does. I made a mental note to remind him again when he got back. I’ve fixed many of his faults down the years with constant nagging.

So after cleaning off the breakfast table and leaving a few things to soak in the sink, I headed upstairs to get dressed myself.

Ponies, as a rule, don’t wear clothes, at least not often in Ponyville. You see them commonly in bigger cities, but even then, they’re accessories more than anything. Cheerilee doesn’t usually wear anything, and Ponyville school doesn’t have uniform requirements. Me though, I do. And while I’m sure I could probably turn up in my pyjamas and get away with it (speaking of, ponies do wear pyjamas, isn’t that odd considering they don’t wear clothes?) I try to dress professionally. I got dressed in my usual combination of a blouse, thin jacket, jeans, and flat shoes.

Heading back down the stairs, I grabbed my work folder off of the kitchen counter. It has my lesson plans, originals of worksheets, answer keys, and so on. Tucking it under my arm, and swinging my handbag over the opposite shoulder, I checked that I had my house keys and then headed out myself.

School was fairly easy going that day. I only had the morning teaching, while Cheerilee would be looking after things during the afternoon. We try to split the hours fifty-fifty between us, though this past week, Cheerilee had had a bit more on her plate with a meeting with the board of governors. Inspection season wasn’t too far around the corner either.

When lunch rolled around, I took my turn keeping an eye on the foals. For once, much to my surprise, I didn’t have to step in to stop Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon teasing anypony. Maybe those fillies are finally getting the message. On the other hand, I thought they had when my son scared the living daylights out of Diamond when he saw her bullying Apple Bloom.

After the bell rang, the foals all headed back inside with Cheerilee. I meanwhile, collected up my papers, and made for home. I didn’t have that much work to catch up on so far this week, but I did have another errand to run. I needed to go to the hospital.

You see, about a year or so before we all ended up in Equestria, I had a TIA, essentially a mini stroke. There was no major damage, I just had this funny spell where a black spot appeared in my vision. It cleared after a minute, but it still shook me up. The diagnosis was that I needed to lower my cholesterol and take blood thinners.

Luckily for me, while Equestria may lack a lot of human technology, their medical skills are quite advanced; comparable to the NHS. As a result, I was able to stay on my medication, after getting a check-up from the local doctor. I now see him once a month to see if there has been any change.

I suppose I should tell you about Dr. Horse. He’s my GP and the senior doctor at Ponyville’s modest hospital. Unlike the human whose name I’m sure his is a pun of, he’s a very nice pony. He reminded me a little bit of Caramel; Applejack’s cousin, with a caramel coat and a dark brown mane. His cutie mark is an EKG machine, still ticking luckily. While Ponyville is predominately made up of earth ponies, he’s a unicorn, with a knack for healing magic.

Heading up the road, I soon came across the large two storey building. It reminds me of an old manor house in its architecture. Walking through the automatic doors, I found myself in the foyer, with Nurse Redheart sitting behind the front desk.

“Hello, Margaret,” she greeted. I’m told by foals she can be quite stern, but I seem to have gotten onto her good side. “You can go straight on through, Dr. Horse should be ready for you by now.”

“Thanks, Redheart,” I replied, heading down the hall to Horse’s office. I soon came upon the door that read ‘Dr. A. Horse M.D.’ Knocking, I heard him call me in.

His office was fairly well laid out. He himself was sitting at a desk opposite the door. Alongside it was a chair for his patient, and against the far wall was an exam table and a few drawers and cupboards. Horse turned around and smiled at me.

“Margaret, do come in. Sit yourself down.” Smiling back I complied. Horse quickly recapped on things since my last visit, looking through his notes as he did so.

“Right,” he said as he scanned through everything. “Last time you were here your cholesterol had dropped down noticeably, and there’d been no other incidents. Is that still true?” I nodded.

“As far as I know. I’ve been watching my diet as best I can.”

“No vision problems, speech impediments or motor function troubles?” Horse asked.

“No nothing like that,” I replied. “Although I have been bruising a lot more easily since I went on those blood thinners.” Horse nodded in understanding.

“Yes, that is an unfortunate side effect. But since there haven’t been any further problems, I’ve half a mind to take you off those for a little while. While I don’t know exactly what happened to you when you had your TIA, I’m half inclined to suspect it was a fluke occurrence, rather than a systemic problem.” There could be some truth in that, the way my old doctors had bumbled about never filled me with much confidence. “It might have even been something far less serious, such as a floater; debris in the vitreous humour casting shadows on the retina.”

“So you think I should stop with the blood thinners for a while.” Horse nodded.

“Yes, I do. You said it took your…er…NHS was it, three months before they put you on thinners. If you really did have a TIA, I would have expected a reoccurrence before then. I could be wrong, of course, so I’d like to try a brief spell off the thinners. Even if it was a TIA, lowering your cholesterol will make clots less likely.” It seemed like a sound argument.

“Alright, you’re the doc, Doc.” That made Horse laugh.

“Very good, Margaret. Then I shan’t renew your prescription for the thinners. Just keep an eye on your diet. Next time I see you, we’ll take a blood sample and check your cholesterol levels. But if you have any funny spells in the meantime, you come and see me straight away.” I nodded.

“Okay, I’ll make an appointment for next month then.” Getting up, I left Horse to his work again.

Heading back to the foyer, I found Tenderheart in Redheart’s place. Apparently she’d been called away to help another patient upstairs. I made an appointment to see Horse next month. And since I didn’t have to stop by the pharmacy, I then made straight for home.

Much to my relief, Roger arrived home at his usual time that evening, none the worse for wear. He was happy, calm, and relaxed as always. I asked him, more out of curiosity then concern, what it had actually been like. While Tartarus had been something of a hot topic since Tirek’s re-incarceration, I couldn’t even tell you what it looked like.

Apparently, rather than hellfire and brimstone that was the usual interpretation of Hell, Tartarus in contrast, was like a large network of caves, with stone paths leading to small islands, all suspended over an endless abyss. Some were connected by precarious paths, while others were connected by stone tunnels.

I then asked him about the inmates, and what they were like. He said that they weren’t that dangerous, or even that scary. In fact, he claimed that some of them reminded him of people you might find in the drunk tank or a haunted house. The majority of them, he said, weren’t even that scary. He’d also seen Tirek again, apparently the horrid little bugger is still ranting and raving to anypony that’ll listen about how useless friendship is.

He reminds me of some of the more emotionally unstable kids I dealt with in my later school years. Yes, he was scary. But stripped of his dark abilities, his philosophy does become actually quite sad. Apparently Discord is taking great pleasure in tormenting him in a variety of unusual ways.

So, it was a case of no news being good news. He’d gone down to Tartarus, alone, and he hadn’t died, been eaten, turned into something, had his soul sucked out, or been turned into a mind controlled slave. He said there was only one inmate who unsettled him, and he was locked away as tightly as Tirek. Other than that, it had been a walk in the park.

He only had to go down there once a month to do a headcount really, so he wouldn’t be heading down there again for a good long while. And with no apparent problems, I decided to let my concerns diminish. I mean, it isn’t as if he’s regularly going down there and having long, drawn out conversations with the prisoners. That would just be silly.

Chapter 5 - Visiting

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Since Roger didn’t have to go down to Tartarus for another month or so, things quickly settled down again after his first trip. I remained concerned, but I think it was mainly just my own anxiety talking more than anything else.

The weekend soon rolled around again. The weather, while still heading toward winter remained fairly clear and bright, with only a few clouds dotting the sky. It certainly makes a change from living back in our old home. In Britain, rain was not the norm more than overcast clouds was, an irritating mix between fair and middling. Here in Equestria, at least this part, the weather was fairly mild and warm, though not so much that it became too uncomfortable. I suppose that’s what you get for living damn near in the middle of the country.

Since school was out on a Saturday, and I had little in the way of work to do, I decided to go and visit my children. They may both be almost grown up now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t stop by to check in on them from time to time. To me, they’ll always be my little babies. Plus, given the recent near miss involving a certain rainbow maned pegasus who pretty much single handedly blanketed Ponyville in snow a month earlier than usual, I wanted to check on them. Everypony in town had been busy cleaning up that mess, there was still the odd bit of snow left.

I decided to drop in on my son first. While I sometimes see Blade Star looking after the Apple’s stand at the market, and at the odd school function, I don’t get much of a chance to just talk with him. All too often, we speak only in passing, rather than sitting down together to catch up.

So, I made for Sweet Apple Acres. Sometimes, I’m not sure whether to call it a ranch or a farm. On the one hand, the place’s main product is apples from the orchards, as well as few other crops. But on the other hand, I know they let the local cattle and sheep graze some of their pasture and take them in during winter. Heading up the dusty path I worked my way toward the farmhouse. However, as I got within sight of it, I found that the place had been altered somewhat.

You see, surrounding the farm on one side is a few grassy pens, used for holding sheep and cattle. They were all fairly large and around then ran an oval dirt path. Now, instead of sheep and cattle, the pens were all filled with hay bales, barrels, and other obstacles. Perched on the fence was Apple Bloom, currently wearing her older sister’s hat, and next to her was Blade Star. The pair were watching Applejack race around the course.

I think they call it ‘barrel racing’, a ladies sport if I remember correctly. Applejack was quickly weaving between barrels, trying to get as close as she could to each one and following a precise pattern. Both ponies watching her seemed suitably impressed, as was I. She cleared the course quickly and only skimmed one barrel.

“Great work, Applejack!” my son cheered. “Ah’d call that twenty eight seconds. Y’all are on course for that blue ribbon for sure.” Applejack, panting a little, trotted over to the fence and retrieved her hat from Apple Bloom.

“Thank, Bones,” she replied, huffing and puffing a little. “Still reckon Ah can do better though. How ‘bout you take another go at the jump course again.” He nodded in agreement.

“Sure thing, AJ. Who knows, Ah might even have a shot at a ribbon myself.” Hanging his hat on a fence post, he clambered over the fence. As he was halfway over, he spotted me.

“Well, hey, Mom,” he called out, waving a foreleg at me. “Come to watch us training?”

“Training?” I replied. “What are you training for?” Jumping down off the fence and snorting a little, he explained.

“Ponyville’s rodeo is coming up in a couple of weeks. Usually it’s just Applejack who competes. But Ah figured Ah might try throwin’ my hat in the ring. She’s been showin’ me the ropes and gettin’ me in shape.” He paused for a moment. “Remember? Ah told you ‘bout it when ya dropped by the market stand a couple weeks back.”

My son, competing, at sports? I didn’t recall him telling me anything about that, though I do have a knack for tuning out at times. I remember a weedy young lad who could barely play football, never mind run for extended periods.

It’s amazing just how far he’s come this past year. He’s stronger, fitter, and much more focused; he’s finally found a direction in life. It couldn’t hurt to watch, I’d never seen a rodeo anyway. I always thought that was just a bunch of drunken yahoos riding terrified bulls until they got thrown off.

“Well this I must see,” I said, half-sarcastically.

Joining the two Apple sisters perched on the fence, I watched as Blade Star readied himself at the start of the course. It was a simple circuit with eight jumps to complete. According to Applejack, the fastest time around the course would win, with time penalties added for not properly clearing a jump.

“Alright, sugarcube, ya ready?” Applejack called out. Blade Star nodded, he was crouching low like a predator ready to pounce. Applejack readied her stopwatch. “Three, two, one, go!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjnHT4Q2_Ns

Much to my surprise, my son took off like a bat out of hell, kicking up dust as he began to gallop toward the first jump. Keeping up his speed, he took a flying leap through the air and easily cleared the first hurdle, landing a little heavily back on the dirt track.

The next one was a little tougher, with the bars set slightly higher, though this too proved no problem for him. Rounding the first bend, he came to the next, more challenging jump. While it didn’t need much in the way of height, the jump distance was doubled. This took a little more effort from him, and as he landed, I saw his hooves skid a little on the loose ground.

The last jump in the practice course was the toughest, being a high jump, and being immediately followed by a shallow muddy trough. Increasing his speed to full chaff, Blade Star gritted his teeth and leapt skyward like a wingless pegasus. For a moment, it looked as if he would clear it, but a sagging back leg just tapped the bar, knocking it free of its mounting. Still, his distance was good, as he avoided landing in the mud trough.

Coming around the final bend, he galloped across the finish line and pulled up, his sides heaving and his head down, with his tongue lolling out. A moment later, he walked over to join the three of us.

“How did Ah do that time, AJ?” he asked, panting a little. Grabbing his hat off the fence post, he wafted it in an effort to cool down.

“Not too shabby, sugarcube,” Applejack replied. “Although ya didn’t quite pass the last jump.” The now somewhat more recovered stallion nodded.

“Yeah, Ah thought Ah felt somethin'. Put too much into that last but one jump; couldn’t keep my hind legs up. What was my time with that anyway?”

“Thirty one seconds,” Applejack said, showing him the watch’s face. “Ya still got a ways to go before ya beat my record.” Cracking a smile, Blade Star laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘Jack,” he answered. He then turned to me. “What do y’all reckon, Mom?” I smiled.

“Well, as one of your video game characters put it,” I shifted my voice to mimic the character in question. “‘Pretty good, Soap. But I’ve seen better’.” He smiled at the reference. Motioning for me to follow them, Blade Star led Applejack and Apple Bloom over to one of the other pens. In it stood two of the cows that live nearby, a heifer and a young bull.

Cows…they occupy a very strange spot in the pecking order here in Equestria. They’re sentient; they talk and are about as intelligent as a pony. But they are still regarded, not necessarily as livestock, but not the same level as ponies. I guess coming from a world where both ponies and cattle are just dumb beasts makes it a bit harder to get your head around it. Anyway, as we walked up, my son called out to the bovines.

“Hey, Mooriel,” he hollered. Dear god, the puns in this world! “Your boy ready to start on the team roping?” The two cows looked up from their grazing.

“He sure is,” Mooriel replied. “He’s been looking forward to helping all week, haven’t you, sweetie?” The young bull nodded.

“What’s team roping then?” I asked curiously. Apple Bloom explained, while Bones and Applejack grabbed lassos and prepared themselves.

“Simple really,” she said. “Ya start with a runnin’ bull. Two ponies chase after him with rope. The first pony has to lasso the bull either around the horns or the neck, and then pull him to the left. After that, the second pony has to lasso the hind legs. Then they both pull away to make the bull fall down. It’s how we separate bulls that are too big for one pony to handle alone. When they’re young or near matin’ season, they can get real ornery.”

“Sounds pretty rough.” I replied. That bull might have been a bit on the small side, but I still wouldn’t fancy going near it. At this point, my son pipped up.

“Don’t worry, Mom,” he called out. “Applejack an’ me have done this a bunch of times. Hay, we’re getting pretty good at it right, AJ?”

“Eeyup,” Applejack replied, mimicking her big brother. She then called out to the bull. “Alright, sport. Ya get a three second head start whenever you’re ready.”

A moment later, the bull rocketed off toward the other side of the pen, Applejack and Bones in hot pursuit. The pen was pretty large, with plenty of space for all three to go on a merry chase. The two ponies quickly began calling out to each other.

“Alright Bones, Ah’ll take the head, you take the heel!” Applejack shouted over the sound of galloping hooves.

“Okay, AJ, waitin’ on your call.” my son replied, slackening his pace a little.

Putting on a burst of speed, Applejack manoeuvred herself in front of the bull, looking back every few seconds to check that it wasn’t changing direction in an effort to get away. After a couple of seconds, she began to wind up her lasso, spinning it over her head and creating a large loop. Taking careful aim, a difficult thing to do when you’re doing the whole thing with your mouth, she threw the loop toward the back of the bull neck. The lasso landed squarely on top of both of the bull’s horns as Applejack pulled it taught. With another swift tug, I watched as the bull made a sharp turn to the left.

“Now, Bones!” Applejack shouted, her voice slightly muffled from still holding the rope.

My son had been keeping station just behind the bull and had been winding up his own lasso when Applejack did. His though was a little different, instead of the typical over the head style, his lasso was spinning on his left.

As Applejack pulled the bull to the left, he tossed the lasso towards its legs. The open lasso landed under the bull, and it effectively jumped into the lasso. However, Blade Star reacted milliseconds too soon and pulled the rope with only one leg in the loop. Still, it seemed to work. With both ponies pulling in each direction, the bull fell on its side and came to a stop.

The two ponies also pulled up and examined their work.

“Dagnabbit!” my son exclaimed. “Ah only got his one leg. If this had been the real deal that’d been five seconds on our time.”

“Still not too bad for a relative newbie, Bones,” Applejack consoled. “Now, come, let’s set this feller free.” The pair trotted over to the downed bull. Applejack eased the rope off of his horns. The bull snorted irritably. Blade Star meanwhile, went to remove his own rope from its hind leg.

I knew the moment Applejack pulled the rope off his horns that something wasn’t right. And so did Applejack, judging by the worried look on her face. As soon as the rope came away, the bull began to thrash around, presumably in an effort to knock off the rope around its back leg. My son just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. As he moved in to remove his own rope, and before anypony could shout a warning that the bull was getting distressed, he caught a hoof clear in the face that sent him flying.

“Blade Star!” I exclaimed, as did Applejack and Apple Bloom.

Hopping the fence with speed I didn’t know I had, I ran over to the injured unicorn, with the two mares hot on my heels. The bull meanwhile, now free of its confines, went running off toward the other side of the pen.

Running over to him, I got down my knees. He was breathing still, but seemed to be out cold. And the injury looked fairly serious; a nasty gash just above his eye. He’d certainly have quite the shiner in an hour or so. Applejack too seemed equally worried, and I saw tears forming in poor Apple Bloom’s eyes.

“Bones! Bones!” Applejack cried out, shaking barrel a little. “Speak to me, sugarcube!”

I was just about to tell Applejack to run for the doctor, when he stirred at last. He was coming around; evidently the kick had put him out only for a moment. His good eye half fluttered open.

“Are you alright, son?” I asked, still quite worried. However, he still seemed to have been knocked a bit woozy, judging by his response.

“Nah…Ah don’t wanna fight no Union.” he mumbled incoherently, waving a hoof around unsteadily. The three of us looked at in each other in concern. A moment later though, he came around properly, and woke up.

“Ooh, son of a…what the hay happened?” he asked, wincing as he touched the cut above his eye where the edge of the bull’s hoof had cut the skin.

“The bull kicked ya,” Applejack explained. “Knocked ya out for ‘bout a minute.” Pulling him up off the ground she pulled him close in a fierce hug. As his mother, I now stepped in.

Holding up my finger, I told him to follow it. He seemed okay. The kick had been bad, but at least he didn’t seem to be concussed. Still, upon fetching Granny Smith, who brought an ice pack for the swelling, it was decided that he ought to go and see the doctor to be safe.

“Well, at least Ah’ve got time to heal up before the rodeo,” Blade Star said as we all sat together in the kitchen, with him holding an ice pack to the one side of his head. “And ya know what they say, ‘Jack; a bad dress rehearsal leads to a great openin’ night!”

I stayed with the Apples until Nurse Redheart arrived on the scene. Both Applejack, and myself, were quite insistent that she check him over. After all, I remember reading about the infamous ‘Talk and Die’ Syndrome. You take a whack to the head and it causes a bleed in the brain, you maybe get a headache or feel a little drunk, then, perhaps a day later, you drop dead.

Luckily, ponies seem to be significantly more resilient than humans are. After all, on more than one occasion, I’ve seen Rainbow Dash, in the process of trying out a new trick, going flying into the side of a building, and walk away with barely a scratch. Still, always better to be safe than sorry if you ask me.

With my son moving about under his own steam, and the bull given a severe reprimand by his mother, I left Sweet Apple Acres. I didn’t head back home though; I wanted to see Lizzie first.

My daughter lives with Fluttershy, right on the border of the Everfree Forest, in an adorable little cottage that’s damn near covered with bird houses and other shelters for the various little (and not so little) creatures Fluttershy cares for.

Walking over the little cackling brook and up the winding path to the cottage, I knocked on the door. To my surprise, it seemed to be opened by nobody. The door opened, but there was nopony there.

“Er, hello?” I called out. I was half expecting Discord to jump out at me. He sometimes comes and visits Fluttershy, even taking tea with her.

But no Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony was forthcoming. I was about to push the door open and head inside to make sure everything was alright, when I heard something; a signature stamping sound. Looking down at my feet I saw Fluttershy’s pet rabbit; Angel Bunny, who was stamping his foot indignantly as he glared up at me.

According to my son, the small rabbit is the single most evil being in the history of the universe. I don’t think that’s the case. He can be a jerk at times, but he’s not that terrible. The white rabbit stopped his stamping and stared at me with a look of cat-like disgust, as if to say ‘What the hell do you want?’. While only Fluttershy can understand his squeaking, he seems to understand everypony and can communicate pretty well through gestures.

“Oh, er, hi, Angel,” I tried. I still find it a bit weird talking to a pet. “Is Lizzie around?”

In response, the rabbit pointed out toward the nearby pond. Evidently he meant to say that that was where she was. Thanking him, which got him to slam the door in my face, I headed down to the pond. Cresting the little rise above it, I found Fluttershy and Lizzie looking after several ducks and a goose, who seemed to be in something of an argument with one another, judging by all the quaking and wing flapping. As I walked down, I heard Fluttershy trying to negotiate.

“Now, now, Alaxgander,” she said in an admonishing tone. “You agreed to share this pond with Mr. McDuck and his family.” The goose honked irritably. I can’t stand geese; evil creatures.

“Come on now,” Fluttershy continued patiently. “You can still use your half of the pond, and I’ll have plenty of food for all of you. But you can’t go on picking fights like this.” The male duck then pipped up.

“Oh, are you sure?” she asked. The duck nodded in response. “Alright then.”

“Alaxgander, Mr. McDuck here says that he’d be happy to let you in his half of the pond if you keep those mean crows away. Do you think you could do that?” The goose considered for a moment before nodding in agreement. Fluttershy smiled as the two species waddled back into the water.

“Well, that went pretty well,” Lizzie declared, having watched Fluttershy diffuse the situation. “It’ll be nice to be able to rest and not hear those two yelling at each other.” Fluttershy nodded in agreement.

“Alaxgander isn’t so bad once you get to know him, Lizzie,” she replied. “He’s just very set in his way is all.”

“Sounds like my dad.” I chipped in. My sudden arrival though scared the living daylights out of Fluttershy, and the poor mare leapt into the air and wrapped herself around a branch that hung over the pond, sending all the water fowl scattering. Lizzie looked up at the quivering pegasus.

“Relax, Fluttershy,” she called up. “It’s just my mum.” Fluttershy turned her head to see me, and after a few moments let go of the branch and glided back to the ground, blushing all the way.

“Oh…erm…sorry, Margaret,” she apologised. “You startled me.” I smiled in an attempt to calm her.

“No, my fault, Fluttershy,” I replied. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I just thought I’d drop by to say hello to you and Lizzie.”

My daughter trotted over to me and, jumping up onto her hind legs, hugged me tightly.

“Hey, Mam,” she said warmly. Letting me go, she dropped down onto all fours again. “Sorry I couldn’t drop by last week. Flitter busted her left wing, so I have to cover her shifts for a while.”

“How is life in the Weather Patrol anyway?” I asked. Threading her way between us, Fluttershy began to lead us toward her cottage. Lizzie shrugged her shoulders as we walked.

“Oh, you know, same old, same old,” she replied. “It’s been kind of routine lately. But we’re all getting ready for winter soon. This’ll be my first year on snow duty, but Dash says it’s a heck of a lot easier than working with heavy storms, and I’ve managed those just fine.”

“Sounds good then. And how’s Dewdrop?”

At this, my daughter stopped mid-stride for a moment. Her ears perked up and she let out a sharp whinny. Dewdrop, you see, is one of the pegasi on the patrol. He joined up not too long after Lizzie did, since he did so well on Tornado duty (pegasi seem to have something of a draft when a tornado needs forming due to the numbers needed). While she won’t admit anything, I know for a fact that the pegasus is sweet on her.

He actually reminds me a bit of Roger when I first met him. He was shy, quiet, and subdued, but he had his charms. And while I can’t speak for Lizzie, I’m fairly sure she likes him too.

The trouble is, the last boy she went out with turned out to be a bit of a twat, for want of a better word. She started off as just friends, he didn’t have as nice a home life as she did, so I think her maternal instinct more than anything else, kicked in. It was a bit like her bringing home a stray pup. To start with, things went smoothly, and they were like normal high school sweethearts. As the months went on though, he began to get a bit…clingy. Not possessive or abusive, mind you, he just got a bit dependent on her. And as much as I hate to say it, she wore the trousers in the relationship.

Anyway, long story short, she dumped him, though it took some doing, and she’s been a bit hesitant about relationships ever since. So, being the nosy mother I am, I occasionally interfere and try to give her a nudge in the right direction. At least with Bones he was just plain oblivious to the fact that Applejack liked him. This is two ponies who clearly like each other, but neither of whom are willing to make a move.

Lizzie turned to me, a false look of confusion on her face. I spotted her eyes darting about and a faint blush appearing.

“Dewdrop? What about him?” she asked, trying to feign ignorance. I shrugged my shoulders innocently.

“Oh, I just heard from Roseluck that he took you out for coffee up in Cloudsdale last week.” Roseluck is one of the florists in Ponyville, and aside from Rarity, is the main pipeline for gossip.

“Yeah, so?” Lizzie shot back hotly. “Friends do go out for lunch you know.”

“Alright, alright,” I replied placatingly. “Just asking, no need to get your mane in a tangle.” Lizzie snorted a little.

“Dewdrop’s fine, Mum,” she answered begrudgingly. “Rainbow’s had me help teach him some of the more advanced weather control stuff for a couple weeks.”

Fluttershy led us back to her house. Letting the two of us in, we continued to chat on her sofa. Angel grumpily hopped up to us with a tea tray.

The three of us sat and talked for a while. Fluttershy filled me in on the little dispute she had just settled between a newly arrived load of ducks, and the one, extremely cranky goose. Lizzie chipped in a little too. Even with her job on the weather patrol, she still does her best to pitch in and help Fluttershy when she can. She also does her best to mitigate Rainbow Dash’s pranking. Apparently, the pegasus is infamous for her practical jokes. Fluttershy used to be exempt from these, given her sensitive nature. However, given the strides she’s made this past year in building up her confidence, Rainbow seems to have decided that she’s fair game.

Other than that though, the pair seem to be getting along just fine, although Lizzie still can’t stand Discord, and prefers to go for a long flight when he drops by. Aside from that though, they seem to be doing just fine.

I stayed for a little while longer before I headed home. Despite being one of my days off, things had still been a little hectic. Heading back to town, I made for home for the evening.

A few days later, after school let out, I joined Apple Bloom on her walk home. The rodeo was in a few days and Bones, now sufficiently recovered, was again practicing with Applejack for the various events.

When Apple Bloom asked if I wanted to join her, my first reaction was to politely refuse. After all, the last time, my poor boy had been kicked in the head by a frightened bull, and I couldn’t help but feel as though I was a bad luck charm. The little filly though was insistent and all but dragged me to Sweet Apple Acres.

I expected quite a few possible scenarios, most of which involved the two ponies training for a variety of events. But when we got there, Applejack and Blade Star were sitting, slumped outside the farmhouse, looking absolutely miserable. A newspaper sat a little ways off.

“What’s got you two looking so glum?” I asked as Apple Bloom and I walked up.

In response, my son activated his magic, and levitated over the newspaper, kindly holding it just in front of me. The main headline seemed to be the cause of his and Applejack’s bad humour. The headline read ‘Ponyville Rodeo Cancelled’. I took a look at the article that followed.

While there wasn’t much in the way of details, or even a full explanation as to why the rodeo had been shut down, it was quite clear that there was no hope of reconsideration. The article also said that this was part of an on-going trend, with several other rodeos being cancelled at the last minute. Only Appleloosa remained defiant and insisted that the rodeo there would go ahead.

Understandably, the two farm ponies were more than a little disappointed. Applejack had been hoping to add to her collection of blue ribbons, whilst Bones had been looking forward to competing for the first time. And knowing my husband, he was probably ticked as well for all the bets he’d have to take down.

“Well, that’s a bit of bad luck,” I commented as I finished reading the article. “What’s made them close anyway? The article doesn’t say.” Bones shrugged his shoulders.

“No idea,” he replied. “Somethin’ ‘bout a whole mess of accidents and upsets. Whole thing has everypony spooked real good.”

“Well, except Appleloosa,” I prompted. At that, Bones’ and Applejack’s ears perked up and they both jumped to their hooves.

“Say what now?” Applejack asked excitedly. I pointed to the relevant spot in the article.

“Well, it says here that Appleloosa’s organisers are still going ahead with their rodeo a week on Monday.” The two ponies quickly scanned the page and smiled.

With their spirits perked up, the pair let out a loud yee-haw, and started celebrating like nopony’s business. It looked as if the pair would be going to the rodeo after all. All of a sudden though, Applejack stopped.

“Wait a minute,” she muttered to herself, continuing to read the article. “Aw shucks. Bones, ya ain’t gonna believe this!” My son now stopped his celebrating.

“What is it, AJ?” he asked. Helpfully, Appleloosa’s rodeo organisers had attached entry forms in the paper to help boost numbers. But Applejack had spotted something of an issue for Blade Star.

“Here,” she said, pointing to the rule set. “It says right here, that in order to compete, a pony must be of sound mind and body, and not have sustained any serious injury within the last month.”

“Yeah, so...oh, right.” Bones’ ears wilted and he looked down at the ground. That kick from the bull would surely count, and thus bar him from competing. “Well that sucks. Y’all are still goin’ though right? An’ ya can take AB and her friends with ya.” Applejack didn’t look to certain.

“Well, Bones, Ah…Ah don’t know. Ah’m not sure it’d be right of me to go an leave you here.” Bones smiled and gently nuzzled her.

“Hey, come on,” he encouraged. “Just ‘cause Ah have to sit this one out doesn’t mean y’all have to. Besides, Ah’m sure Macintosh will appreciate havin’ somepony around to help out here. Heck, AB would be upset somethin’ fierce too if ya didn’t go.” To my son’s credit, he did make a good argument. It was nice to see how he’d matured.

After considering for a few moments, Applejack agreed. She, along with Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo would head down to Appleloosa. My son, Big Mac, and Granny Smith, would stay here to mind the farm. While it was a shame my son couldn’t go, he didn’t seem too disappointed. As Applejack headed off to find Apple Bloom, I asked him about it. He shrugged his shoulders.

“Eh, just my luck.” he replied.

Next Tuesday, I was taking the morning lessons when the Cutie Mark Crusaders returned. The three had been down in Appleloosa for a couple of days with Applejack, and her cousin Braeburn, at the rodeo. And boy did they have a story to tell. When morning break started, the trio stayed behind in the classroom to tell me what happened.

“So, let get this straight,” I said, after they’d finished recounting their tale. “You three went to the rodeo, heard Troubleshoes was around, snuck out and went to try and find him, got lost, accidentally found Troubleshoes, went back to town with him, staged a jailbreak after he got arrested, snuck him into the rodeo, and then showed him that he was great as a rodeo clown?”

“Yep,” Apple Bloom replied, the three fillies nodding their heads. I leaned back against my desk at the front of the classroom. “We still didn’t get our cutie marks though.” At this, their faces became a bit sullen.

“Never mind the cutie marks,” I said, in an effort to perk of their spirits. “Girls, you just had an amazing adventure, and helped a pony completely change their life. Cutie mark or not, you did good. I just can’t wait to tell Roger.”

“Why?” Scootaloo piped up. I smiled and laughed a little.

“Didn’t you girls hear about it? He was chasing Troubleshoes up near Canterlot last week with the Royal Guard, nearly caught him too. And now he’ll get to find out that three little fillies managed catch him by accident!”

Chapter 6 - Grand Galloping Gala

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Roger was home a little later than usual tonight. It was well after dark when I finally heard the front door. I was actually contemplating going over to Twilight’s to see if Spike could send a letter to the princess to check that he was alright. After all, while his job was quite varied at times, it was a rare thing that it kept him in the office so late.

“I’m back!” he called out as he came in. A moment later, I heard the front door close and latch behind him. Quietly, I breathed a sigh of relief.

“You’re home late,” I replied. “Busy day?” I was curious to know just what had kept him up in Canterlot. It’s a little ritual of ours I suppose. We see each other after work and our first question is usually something along the lines of ‘how was your day with the adorable technicolour ponies, dear?’

“Sort of. One of the prisoners in Tartarus raised hell. Me and Discord had to fetch Celestia to help us break it up. I tell you, it’s like custody cells on a Friday night down there sometimes.”

Tartarus? What the hell was he doing down there? He wasn’t supposed to have to go back down there more than once a month. From what he said, it sounded like there had been some sort of fight down there. And I don’t care what he says, that place is nothing like the local cells. I quickly got up from my seat on the sofa, and hurried out into the hallway. Roger was just hanging up his coat when I got there.

“What was it? What happened?” I asked, deeply worried.

As I’ve said before, I’m not exactly happy with my husband having to go down to that hellhole as it is. Hearing that he’d been put in harms’ way just concerned me even more. I’d been toying with the idea of going to see the princess myself, to see if there was anypony else this duty could fall on. As Machiavellian as it sounds, I was hoping I could use whatever had happened as a way to convince her that it wasn’t safe for him.

Hurrying into the hallway, I quickly ran over and hugged him tightly. I do worry about him after all. I felt his hand run through my hair in an effort to calm me down.

“Just a couple of them taking swings at each other. We just needed Celestia to help reverse a few magical effects,” he reassured me. Still, it had shaken me up.

“You know I worry about you going in there,” I replied. While I didn’t want to start a fight with him again, I wanted to make my position plain. He pulled me into a hug again.

“Oh come on, it’s no worse than back on Earth. And none of those fruitcakes are gypsy glue boilers that cut their brother’s head off when they get in a fight over a football.”

I shuddered, that was true. It had been one of his earliest cases and, as far as I know, the only case he ever passed off to someone else. These two tinkers lived on the outskirts of Cannock, working as horse slaughters. Because you couldn’t legally bury horses, they had to be disposed of by professionals. Or at least, people who had a card that said they were. My old grandmother used to warn me about tinkers when I was young; they had a little camp set up not too far from our house, and were infamous for stealing anything that wasn’t nailed down.

Anyway, these not too nice people made a living from turning dearly departed nags into glue, though I believe they were later done for selling the meat wholesale as beef too. One day, the pair, for whatever reason, got into a fight over a football one of them found. And, because of that, one of the pair, brother in fact, grabbed a meat cleaver, and cut the other one’s head off in one fell swoop. He got caught when a bobby pulled him over with a decapitated corpse in the boot. That got him arrested.

He never once showed a hint of remorse about the whole thing, and even threatened Roger after the case went south. Though I don’t know what he expected to happen; the silly twat admitted that he did it in open court.

After Roger advised against appealing the case, he got even more dangerous, threatening me and our son (this was before Lizzie was born). So, he told both him and the judge that he was no longer able, or willing, to represent him, and that was that.

As evil as all the creatures down there are, I don’t think any of them have actually ever killed anypony. But I digress.

“Still doesn’t mean I have to like it,” I countered as I turned around and headed for the kitchen. I’d kept dinner waiting, since he was back so late. Annoyingly, Equestria doesn’t have microwaves, so I had to leave his dinner stewing in the pot on a slow heat. As he followed me, he did his best to turn the conversation toward a more neutral subject.

“So how was your day, anyway?” he asked curiously. I shrugged my shoulders.

Let’s see now…

I sat in the comparatively empty classroom. Cheerilee was next door running a history lesson, whilst Twilight had taken some of the unicorn foals up to her castle to let them study in her library. I meanwhile was stuck with one not-so-bright student.

He wasn’t even a foal, but a full grown stallion. And believe it or not he was sixth, just after Shining Armor, in the line of succession. The stallion that sat before me, jammed into the too small desk was Prince Blueblood.

For want of a better expression, Blueblood is not very bright. That’s what generations of inbreeding gets you though, I suppose. And due to his infamously stuck up personality, every possible tutor in Canterlot had given up on him. Well, I was never one to take a view that anyone is ‘unteachable’, so when Roger told me about it, I offered Princess Celestia my assistance.

The alicorn readily agreed to my proposal. And since Blueblood has something of a liking for Ponyville’s day spa, it was decided that I could have a lesson with him when he came down for his appointment.

My son had also warned me about the many risks of being in proximity to Blueblood, as did Spike, Rarity, and a good dozen or so other mares in town. While he is apparently quite handsome, he has all the qualities of a Jack Russell terrier when it comes to personality. If Shining Armor is Elliot Ness on four hooves, then Blueblood is something along the lines of Pol Pot.

As a first lesson, I had simply made an effort to get to know him, and understand why he acted the way he did. I asked him what he wanted to learn, and he’d come up with an answer pretty sharpish.

Hence how I was in my current, ludicrous situation.

I was sitting across from Blueblood. On the table in front of us were a few plastic toy cows. Off to our left was an open window. I did my best to repress a sigh as I tried again.

“Right, your highness,” I said, picking up the plastic cows. He insisted that I call him by his title. “Let’s try it one more time. These are small. But the ones out there are far away.”

Blueblood tilted his head curiously. To his credit, I could actually see the cogs vainly turning in his head trying to understand. I held up the small toy and repeated it for emphasis.

“So, small…far away.” I pointed out at what seemed to be equally small living cows, grazing outside the school. Still, the rabbit in his head working the controls was befuddled.

I spent the next four hours at that. And even at the end, he still hadn’t quite got it. But, that is what being a teacher is about sometimes.

“Oh, you know; same old, same old,” I replied. “They’re certainly a lot better behaved that those buggers back at St. Michael’s!”

That was true, not even Blueblood, who was a little taller than average, was taller than me. Back on Earth, I’d had to look up at some of the Year 6’s, and it didn’t help that a few of them come from the rougher estates. Even the larger colts in my class weren’t that intimidating. Foals like Diamond Tiara were even adorable in a certain way when they got frustrated.

The two of us sat down to dinner. With the kids gone, the house is a lot quieter, but it also means less food shopping, and I don’t have to cook large meals. Tonight, I’d gone for something simple; cheesy beef cobbler with sticky toffee pudding for afters.

We were just about to make a start on dessert when I heard the doorbell ring. Roger got up from his seat, dabbing his mouth briefly with a napkin; he’d gotten quite a bit of sauce around his mouth.

“I’ll get it.” He announced, and went down the hall.

I heard the front door open, and him talking to someone. I prayed that it wasn’t Discord. My husband’s best friend, and Equestria’s least trustworthy ally has a tendency for turning up out of the blue and sleeping on my sofa. And that doesn’t even begin to cover all the stuff he does in the house.

But it wasn’t Discord. A few moments later I heard the door close again, and Roger returned, a slightly surprised look on his face. I poured us both a cup of coffee from the nearby pot.

“Who was that then, dear?” I asked, pouring him a cup as well. In response, he held up two golden coloured tickets.

“Spike,” he replied. “He was delivering these; came through his fire breath.”

Spike has an odd ability with his fire breath; apparently, anything burned by it gets sent straight to Princess Celestia. He can also receive important messages from her too. Twilight used to use that to send her friendship reports. Roger set the two tickets on the table.

It took me a while, but I can now read Equestrian as well as I can English. The tickets were gold, and covered in stylish motifs. In the centre was the legend ‘Admit One – Grand Galloping Gala’. I looked up at Roger, who was grinning like nobody’s business.

“We’ve been invited to the gala!” He declared proudly.

About twenty minutes later, I’d finally calmed down. I may or may not have started screaming in excitement…or due to shock. The Grand Galloping Gala was the biggest society event of the year, aside from those once in a blue moon things like royal weddings and births. Invitations to such an event were the sort of things ponies would go at each other with sharpened sticks if it came to it. If you could get into the gala and get yourself known, you were pretty much in with the Canterlot elite.

As exciting as it was though, I was hardly prepared for it. I’m not exactly what you call a high society type for one thing, I’m more of a lower middle class, and so is Roger. And while he may have moved in a few higher political circles, I had no such experience. My mind began reeling about all the subtle rules and protocol I knew nothing about.

Eventually though, with some support from my husband, I managed to calm down and settle on one pressing issue; a dress.

I could hardly turn up to the gala in my usual clothes now could I? For goodness sake, the food served at the gala would make any three Michelin star restaurant quiver in their boots. So I needed to have something special made up. I had been planning to splash out before long as it was. It had been an age since I went clothes shopping.

And there was only one pony in Ponyville I could possibly pay call on to have something suitable made in time, wasn’t there? Rarity, fashionista, gifted seamstress, and owner and proprietor of Carousel Boutique, was perhaps the only pony outside of Canterlot I could trust to give me a dazzling design. When we first arrived here, she had kindly made me a few sets of clothes, since I can’t exactly buy of the peg here in Equestria. I occasionally place a few orders with her, but this would be pushing the boat out a bit.

Roger too decided that he needed some new threads. He’s got some good work suits, but the dress code at the gala for gents is more of a black tie job. So he decided that he’d head up to Canterlot tomorrow to see Elusive, his tailor up there. Rarity after all, specialises in mares and mares fashion.

I headed out the next day for Carousel Boutique. It was lucky that the invitations came on Friday night, so I had a chance to go and get the dress sorted without delay. Rarity’s wedding cake style shop was just up the road from our house, and like Twilight’s castle, stood out amongst the other building nearby, with the exception of the joke shop, which I think is kept in business by the spending sprees of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.

In my handbag was a fairly large sack full of bits. This outfit would probably set me back a couple hundred. But, conversely, it would last for an age and be great for any other important formal occasion. Maybe I’ll wear it after Bones finally plucks up the courage and proposes?

Still, this was my first dress fitting in…well, let’s just say a long while. The last time I’d gone for anything like this, the dress had been white.

I soon came upon Rarity’s shop. Given it was quite warm today, the front door was open. Walking inside, I found the small shop floor bustling with customers, mainly Canterlot ponies; nobles and other upper class snobs. I spotted Rarity attending to a couple, a long, slender mare, with a fluer de lis cutie mark, and a rather well to do looking stallion with a small handlebar mustache. Rarity was amicably chatting with them, but when she spotted me standing at the door, she politely excused herself and trotted over.

“Margaret, darling,” the mare greeted in her affected Canterlot alto. “So wonderful to see you again. What brings you to my humble establishment?” I showed Rarity my gala ticket.

“Ah, so you’ve been invited as well. Splendid! I was just discussing the upcoming gala with Fancy Pants here.” I had to restrain myself from bursting out laughing. There’s a stallion with fond memories of his school days.

“I was hoping you might be able to make something for me, Rarity,” I replied. “Though you do look to be extraordinarily busy today.” The shop was teeming with customers. Rarity though, shook her head.

“Oh, no, no, no, nonsense, darling,” she countered. “I’d be happy to make something for you. And you always do give me a wonderful challenge. After all, who else can say they designed clothing for the only two humans in all of Equestria?” She began to lead me towards the back of the store.

“Come along then, dear. We can go upstairs to my work room and play with a few ideas I have.” I smiled and gestured for her to go on.

“Alright, lead the way, Rarity,” I said.

Rarity quickly led me upstairs, leaving her other customers to browse in the shop, assuring them that she would be back soon. Following her upstairs, she led me to her ‘inspiration room’ as she called it. In contrast to the rest of the boutique, which was clean to an almost fastidious degree, her inspiration room was an utter tip. Fabrics and half-finished designs were strewn everywhere, as were dozens of sketches and notations. It certainly surprised me, but hey, that’s artists for you.

She had me stand in front of a full body mirror, while she selected and began levitating various bits of fabric with her magic. These, rather unsettlingly, floated around me as if they were alive, occasionally settling on me here and there. Eventually, Rarity paused, her eyes wide and sparkling.

“Ah ha, idea!” she proclaimed happily. I turned to face her.

“So what have you got for me, Rarity?” I asked, wondering just what she’d cooked up. The alabaster unicorn was sitting at her desk, hurriedly sketching out the design.

“Oh, it’s inspired, darling. Even if I do say so myself,” she replied excitedly. “Here, take a look.” The sheet of paper, encased in a light blue glow, floated over to me. Taking it out of the air, I took a look.

The design she’d come up with was quite unique to say the least. You see, when you get to my age and have two kids, your figure isn’t exactly what it was when you were twenty five. I’m not fat by any means, in fact compared to the average I’m quite trim, but still, clothes don’t exactly hang off me.

So, what Rarity had come up was a loose fitting ensemble. Later on, when we got to the gala, I would notice that the princess had gone for something similar, though mine was mainly light and dark blues, whereas hers was more purples and mauve. Essentially, it was a long, flowing dress that had sleeves and went up over my shoulders. Along with that, it had a loose fitting shawl that draped over it. Add in a pair of heels and it was quite flattering; a credit to Rarity’s skill as a designer.

“Impressive, Rarity,” I praised. “When do you think you’ll have it ready?” The unicorn tittered for a moment.

“Oh, fret not, darling,” she reassured me. “I’ll be able to fix up this little number well before the gala. I just need to double check your measurements, and then I’ll set to work on it.”

“Great,” I replied. “So how much are we talking all in?” Rarity thought for a moment, putting a hoof to her chin.

“Hmm, I’d say one hundred and fifty bits in all.” I was surprised.

“Really, is that all?” I asked. An expensive gown like this, particularly when you considered the extra material she’d need seemed a little low.

“Friend’s discount,” Rarity replied. I opened my mouth to object, but she cut me off. “And before you start, I insist. This is a rare treat for you, I know, and I have no desire to drain your balance. Besides, I should soon be seeing quite the upsurge in profits when I open my new store.”

“New store?” I parroted. Rarity nodded.

“Yes, darling,” she replied. “Carousel Boutique is expanding its horizons. I’m planning to open up a store in Canterlot in a month or so.”

“Wow! You’re going to have quite the franchise going, Rarity,” I said. “So are you leaving us soon then?”

“Oh, no, no, no,” Rarity assured me. “I’d never leave Ponyville. No, I’m looking to recruit somepony to manage the new store in Canterlot, while I stay here in Ponyville. Although I may head up there from time to time to check on things.”

I knew Rarity had been doing well recently, but I didn’t think she’d got enough to open up a second store. Still, it was a good bit of news. Perhaps when it was completed, I could take Lizzie or a couple friends up to Canterlot for a little shopping spree?

“Well, I wish you luck up there, Rarity, in any case.” Rarity smiled.

“Thank you, darling. Now come along, let’s get those measurements. Then we can catch up over a nice cup of tea.”

Rarity was as good as her word, and a few days later my new outfit was completed. Again, Rarity stuck to her element of generosity and refused to let me buy the thing for full price. She also told me that she was finalising things with the estate agents up in Canterlot to open up her second store.

The night of the gala soon rolled around. I dug out a bit of jewellery for the occasion, a faux pearl necklace left to me by my mother. Initially, I was planning on taking the train up to Canterlot. However, it turned out my genius of a husband had planned ahead, and drafted in two of his guard friends from work to take us there by chariot.

So, at quarter past five in the evening, the two of us were waiting on the front lawn for them to appear. Our ride appeared fifteen minutes later, with Roger yelling up the pair as they descended.

“Good Lord!” he called up to the two pegasi. “And here was me thinking you two would be taking the night off tonight.” While I didn’t recognise them straight away (guards do all tend to look the same in their uniforms after all) I soon realised that the pair were Duck and Cover, two guards Roger had become good friends with.

“No such luck tonight!” Duck (I think) called back as we boarded.

“The princess is pulling out all the stops for the Gala. Security is pretty tight, so they needed a few extra hooves to help with transportation.” Cover added.

Well, it’s only a short trip to Canterlot,” I replied consolingly. “At least you won’t be stuck standing at attention all evening.” The pair laughed at that.

“Very true, Mrs. Owen,” Duck said. He then turned to his colleague “Right, let’s get going. On three okay?” And with that, we took off into the evening sky.

The journey to Canterlot Castle wasn’t too bad. Flying in an open chariot some thousand feet up can at times seem just a tad perilous. But with the darkness of the night obscuring the very long drop to the ground below, I found myself relaxing, and enjoying the smooth twenty minute flight.

The two guards landed perfectly, right in front of the main castle gates following the other ground bound carriages that were queuing up to the gates. The castle was positively glittering against the night sky; we hadn’t even had the fireworks and Wonderbolt display yet. As we came to a stop, Duck turned back to us.

“Alright, here we are,” he said. “Just follow the queue to the main doors. Enjoy your evening, and we’ll pick you up in a few hours to take you home.” I smiled.

“Thanks again, you two,” I replied pleasantly. “Hang around when you get us back and I’ll fetch you a little thank you for your troubles.” As soon as we were out, the pair headed skyward again to make room for the next in line. I turned to Roger.

“Right, come along, dear.” He said.

Taking me by the arm, the two of us worked our way along the path to the large main doors at the front of the castle. We soon found ourselves in a mid-sized queue that led up the steps. Evidently we’d arrived just as the big rush was starting. The ponies around us were dressed in attire similar to our own, with the stallions wearing expensive looking dinner jackets or collars, whilst the mares were resplendent in a menagerie of dresses, a few of which were undoubtedly of Rarity’s design. As we continued to work our way forwards, Roger spotted two ponies that he recognised.

“Bones! Applejack!” he called out. The two ponies ahead of us promptly turned around to see who it was. It was indeed my son and Applejack. The mare quickly trotted over to say hello, with Bones reluctantly following behind.

"Hey, Dad.” My son said in a resigned tone. To be fair, his dad does love to tease him in public settings.

Oddly, Bones had changed his style quite a bit for the gala. His outfit was an aqua blue suit jacket, with an off white shirt, along with a light orange bow tie. On their own, there was nothing unusual; the light colours after all contrasted well with his dark coat. No, the odd thing was his mane, which instead of being its usual dark blue, was now a bone white with hints of silver. Roger poked a bit of fun at his fashion choices, though he was in no position to throw stones. I was starting to wonder how he could breathe with that tight collar. Leaving the pair to their bickering, I turned to Applejack.

“I see you sprung for one of Rarity’s dresses too, Applejack.” I said. The orange farm pony nodded.

“Rarity was kind enough to do a little work fixin’ this up. She made it for me back when we all went to the Gala that first year.” It certainly was a sight. Unsurprisingly, the mare had gone for an apple theme for her dress. Rarity had somehow managed to combine both the formal nature of a gala dress with homey and more relaxed airs of life on Sweet Apple Acres. At least, that’s the best way I can sum it up.

It was at that point that the four of us reached the front door and the princess. Unusually, she too had dressed herself up for the occasion. Celestia is not one to be seen to indulge in passing fashions, or so Roger tells me. At previous iterations of the Gala, she would appear in just her typical crown, horseshoes, and regalia. Tonight though, she wore a rather impressive purple, violet, and lavender ensemble that hung loosely over her larger frame. It sort of reminded me of my own outfit.

“Applejack, Blade Star,” she greeted the two ponies before us. “Wonderful to see you again.”

“Likewise, your highness,” Bones replied, touching the brim of an invisible hat as a sign of respect. Celestia then turned her attention to the two of us.

“And my dear advisor. Welcome to the Grand Galloping Gala. Thank you for coming along too, Margaret.” The two of us bowed as protocol dictated.

“Thank you for inviting us, princess,” I replied kindly. Celestia smiled back. It’s amazing how, despite her position, she can make ponies feel at ease around her.

“With Applejack here, that makes all of Twilight’s friends accounted for. Although I’m starting to wonder where Discord has gotten to. I sent him an invitation this year as well. Anyway, I shall see you two inside.”

Discord was coming here? As I’ve said before, I’ve never exactly taken to my husband’s friend, nor he to me. I just hoped that he would cause too much of his signature chaos tonight.

We left the princess to continue greeting all her guests, something she insists on doing personally, I might add. Heading inside, we found ourselves in the large open ballroom. The place was filled with ponies, all mixing and mingling. As we came in a castle servant announced us both, which made me blush, much to Roger’s amusement.

The pair of us soon began mingling. While most of the guests were nobility, Royal Guard higher ups, and the odd foreign dignitary, there were a few faces I recognised. For one, Twilight and her friends were all here and had formed into their usual little group. Bones had briefly gone to talk to a griffon officer, apparently temporarily on loan to the Royal Guard as part of an exchange program.

I chatted with Twilight and her friends for a while. Fluttershy was here as well. Lizzie had, rather oddly, declined her offer to come to the gala with her, and instead offered to take care of the animals for the night. So instead, Fluttershy had brought another friend of hers with her; a mare called Treehugger. The mare was something of a hippy, and judging by her very blown out pupils, was high as bloody kite. Most questions got a stereotypical response, or a suggestion to ‘mellow out’. Still, I chatted with her and Fluttershy for a while.

“I’d have thought you and Discord would arriving together, Fluttershy,” I said as we listened to the band. “From what I hear you two are pretty good friends.” Fluttershy nodded.

“Well, I was going to, but I haven’t seen Treehugger in a long time, and I wanted to do something nice for her,” the butter yellow pegasus replied. “Besides, Discord should have his own ticket. I’m starting to wonder where he’s got to. I just hope I didn’t upset him too much earlier.”

“Come on, he’s a big boy, Fluttershy,” I reassured her. “I’m sure he’ll come around before long.” Just then Roger came over and asked if I wanted to talk with one of his friends from work. I politely excused myself and followed him across the room.

“Hello there, Steel.” He called out. Steel was a grey unicorn stallion with a silvery mane, and a pair of balanced scales for a cutie mark. He quickly turned around, smiling when he spotted us.

“Roger!” he replied, trotting over to us. “I heard that you’d been invited. And this must be Mrs. Owen.” He bowed slightly. “Charmed, I’m sure.” I shook his hoof.

"Wrought Steel here helped us put Trixie away for a year or two,” Roger explained. “He’s a damn fine prosecutor.” Steel smiled.

“Yes, one who currently takes orders from somepony who used to work for the dark side,” he replied. That got them both to laugh.

At that moment, the attendant at the door announced Discord’s arrival. The deeply unsettling draconequus had turned up in a bright orange suit, complete with top hat. And along with him was a being that was announced as ‘The Smooze’.

This ‘Smooze’ was a bit like Slimer from Ghostbusters; a large blog of green goo that seemed to move around under its own steam. Most ponies were just a tad put off by it, particularly my son, who went storming over to Princess Celestia and all but demanded that she get every single pegasi she could to Canterlot post haste.

Roger briefly went over to talk to him, but it was clear that something wasn’t quite right. Discord was evidently mad about something, and judging by the leering looks he was giving Fluttershy’s friend Treehugger, it had something to do with her.

Discord, despite his age and experience still has a pretty short fuse when it comes to his temper. As ‘reformed’ as he is, and I use that term very loosely, he can still be very dangerous. Evidently, Fluttershy picking Treehugger over him had ticked him off something awful, and he’d brought this Smooze thing along in an effort to show that Fluttershy wasn’t his only friend.

This wouldn’t have been so bad, had the Smooze not had an annoying habit of eating anything shiny. It was like some weird magpie. Even worse, it steadily seemed to grow larger in size as it ate. This soon led to it coating half the gala in gelatinous ooze. An ooze which was immune to the effects of magic, even the extremely powerful magic of the alicorns.

It was when Fluttershy called him out on his behaviour that he really lost his temper. Opening a rift to one of his pocket dimensions, he threatened to hurl Treehugger into a world filled with sentient sock puppets. Luckily, Fluttershy was able to talk him down from that. But between the amount of chaos magic being released, and the fact that the Smooze was now threatening half of the castle, the gala was pretty much done for.

The majority of the nobles and other important guests promptly ran for the hills, while those of us who stayed behind found ourselves heavily coated in thick green goo. Not an experience I’d care to repeat.

Still, Discord did eventually reign the Smooze in, and even apologised to it for using it as a way to get back at Fluttershy. He also apologised to Celestia and everypony else for ruining the gala. It was then that Celestia spoke up.

The gala, as a rule, is always pretty awful. Especially for Celestia, who has to sit through the whole night. So, she likes to make her own fun and spice things up a bit. It was for that reason that she invited Discord in the first place. And while she hadn’t expected things to go the way they did, she decided that she had personally had a great time, enjoying herself immensely. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen the alicorn princess let go in a way like that, before nor since. It certainly seemed to surprise Twilight to. Bones meanwhile simply chalked it up to something called ‘Trollestia’.

With the gala somewhat unofficially brought to a close, things began to break up, and ponies began to depart. Roger briefly left me to go and talk with one of the ponies that was playing in the orchestra. She lives in Ponyville, Octavia is her name, I think. I haven’t spoken with her that often. But If I remember correctly, she lives a few streets over from us with her roommate, some DJ pony or something. An odd combination if you ask me.

When he returned, we joined up with Twilight and her friends, including Bones and a very apologetic Discord. With little else to do for the next while, Twilight suggested that we all go to Donut Joes, a popular little establishment here in Canterlot, and ironically also the same place Twilight and the others had gone after the last Grand Galloping Gala. At least this time though, they at least weren’t the ones responsible for the mess.

A couple hours later, Roger and I arrived back in Ponyville. It was pretty late and we were both dog tired. While things hadn’t exactly gone the way I’d expected them to go, I’d still had a nice enough time. Not enough to convince me to do it all again, mind you.

Duck and Cover stayed for a half hour or so for a cup of tea each before heading back to Canterlot and their barracks. According to rumour, the last ponies who didn’t get back to the palace before sunrise were unceremoniously drummed out by Shining Armor for going AWOL. They were actually really nice guys and great company, so much so that I suggested to Roger that come Hearth’s Warming, we invite them round.

After that, the pair of us were more than ready for bed. After turning out the lights and putting the deadbolt on, we both headed upstairs to bed. I was struggling to keep my eyes open as I changed into my pyjamas. And by the time my head hit the pillow, I was almost completely asleep.

Chapter 7 - A Brief History of Griffons

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Equestria, while a large nation, is not the only major power on this world. There are several other Great Powers that occasionally cross paths with the ponies. Aside from the harsh, volcanic regions of the Dragon Lands, where the typically nomadic dragons congregate, there is also Equestria’s biggest ally; the Griffon Kingdom.

I’ve never actually met a griffon personally, but they are said to be quite different from ponies. The strange half eagle, half lion hybrids are capable of flight and walking on clouds, just as the pegasi of Equestria are. But their temperament is remarkably different. They don’t exactly buy into the whole friendship concept.

The Griffon Kingdom is a lot like a lot of human countries, deeply capitalist and based around personal greed. The kingdom is more a loose confederation than anything else; a bit like Germany in the mid 1800’s. In the past, attempts had been made to turn the place into a single unified empire. That ultimately led to several long, protracted wars with Equestria, each resulting in the griffon’s defeat.

Today though, the reconstituted kingdom is fairly peaceful, and an ally of Equestria. Still, as a rule, the two species rarely mix. So, it came as quite a shock to me, when Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash went gallivanting off there.

I had just gone into Sugarcube Corner to grab a cake. Pipsqueak’s birthday was in a couple of days, and the class was planning a little surprise party for him. Since we were on schedule work wise, I decided that we could afford to skip one lesson to wish him a happy birthday.

I was hoping to pick up the cake, and then grab Pinkie to see if she would help us plan the party. I was surprised at the response I got.

“Oh, no. Pinkie isn’t here I’m afraid, dearie,” Mrs. Cake responded when I enquired about the energetic party pony. “She got called off to Princess Twilight’s castle about an hour ago. Something about that map thing, I think.” I frowned at that. Those little quests the map sent them off on could sometimes last the better part of a week. Evidently, I would need to do this on my own.

Thanking Mrs. Cake for the…cake, I headed off to see Twilight, to see if I could get any more information.

Twilight’s front door was, as usual, unlocked. Heading inside, I found the lavender alicorn sitting in her chair at the map, staring despondently at the images it showed. Each of her five friends’ cutie marks, along with her own, were displayed, hovering around the map. At present, her mark, Applejack’s, Rarity’s, and Fluttershy’s were sitting on Ponyville, as they usually did. Rainbow’s and Pinkie’s however, were quite a distance off, sitting across the ocean in the territory of the Griffon Kingdom. Squinting carefully, I could just about make out a tree like structure, covered in nests.

“I’d heard Pinkie and Rainbow had been sent off on a mission,” I said, startling Twilight out of her ennui. The alicorn jumped out with a start before spotting me.

“Oh, Margaret, it’s you,” she replied. “Yes, they’ve both been sent to Griffonstone to deal with a friendship problem there.” I took a seat in Fluttershy’s chair.

“I didn’t know the map extended its range that far,” I said. “That’s one heck of a trip. Any idea what it’s like over there?” I didn’t know much about the world outside Equestria, and Twilight was a fountain of knowledge. Plus, lecturing always seems to cheer her up. I was right, for she soon perked up a bit.

“Oh, it’s so interesting,” she exclaimed, levitating over a book. “The settlement of Griffonstone if of huge historical importance. It’s the resting place of the Idol of Boreas, and one of the most prosperous cities in the kingdom. It’s a shame the map sent Rainbow instead of me. She wasn’t exactly thrilled about going there.” She laid her head down the table again. “Why do I never get to go to sites of incredible historical importance?”

“What’s Rainbow got against griffons?” I prompted. Rainbow was many things, but she didn’t strike me as a racist. Twilight sighed to herself.

“Gilda,” she replied. I was at a bit of a loss.

“Er…who’s Gilda?” I asked. Twilight sat up and activated her magic. It created a small floating image. It was like watching television. It showed Rainbow arguing quite fiercely with a griffon in Sugarcube Corner, standing in front of her friends with her wings flared out.

“Gilda was Rainbow’s friend at Junior Speedsters when she was a filly. They lost touch for a while, but the pair met up again when Gilda arrived in Ponyville. Unfortunately, Gilda was a bit of a…” Twilight paused to think.

At that moment, Spike came in, carrying a stack of books. Evidently, he’d heard our conversation.

“She was a jerk,” he declared. “And a real bully too. She made Fluttershy cry and even tried to upset Pinkie. Rainbow tried to stop her, but in the end, they had a really bad falling out, and Gilda left. And Griffonstone was Gilda’s old hometown.” Twilight nodded.

“That about sums it up,” she finished. “Griffons in general don’t really see friendship as being that important. They tend to argue more than anything.”

“I can see why the map might send an envoy from the Princess of Friendship there then,” I replied. “It sounds like they could use it. Do you think Rainbow’s up to it?” Twilight promptly nodded.

“Of course she is,” she replied, sounding a little offended. “I’m certain Rainbow can help fix whatever needs fixing. The map wouldn’t have chosen her otherwise.” Fair point, I suppose. I got up to leave.

“Well, I’d best be getting out of your hair,” I said. “Plus I need to get this cake somewhere safe. The class is going to have a little party to celebrate Pipsqueak’s birthday in a couple days. Do you think you could stop by, Twilight?”

“Sure, I’d love to,” she replied, nodding her head.

A couple of days later the missing pair returned to Ponyville, luckily none the worse for wear, though they were both pretty tired from the journey. Well, Rainbow was. I’m not sure if Pinkie Pie even sleeps given how hyper she can be at times. Sadly, they’d not gotten back in time for Pipsqueak’s birthday party, but we’d muddled through. The young colt had had a great time during his little celebration, and the cake had been top notch.

As I headed to the schoolhouse in the morning, I came upon Rainbow talking with Lizzie about her little adventure.

“And then,” Dash went on. “Gilda pulled me up and out of the ravine, and the idol disappeared. Real Daring Do type stuff.” I walked up to the pair.

“Hey, Dash. Hello, Lizzie,” I greeted. “How was Griffonstone, Rainbow?” Rainbow grinned.

“It was awesome!” she exclaimed. “Okay things started out a little slow, but Pinkie and me had a great adventure.”

“Come on then, story time,” I prompted. Rainbow began her tale anew.

“Well,” she said. “It turned out all that stuff Twilight said about Griffonstone being the ‘centre of griffon unity’ was all way out of date. The place was a dump when we got there. Turned out that idol thing the egghead kept yapping on about had been lost ages ago to some monster. None of the griffons were friends with each other. And literally everything cost a few bits.”

“Anyway, we ended up running into Gilda. And let’s just say our friendship hadn’t recovered since we fell out. I figured that they needed that magic idol thing back to reunite them again. You know, like how the Crystal Heart unites all the crystal ponies? Pinkie though just started talking about how nopony in Griffonstone ever sang, and how there were no bakeries.”

To be fair, the number of large scale musical numbers I’ve seen in just Ponyville has been…shall we say a tad excessive. So I guess no singing would be a bit weird to them.

“So we split up,” Rainbow went on. “Pinkie hung around with Gilda and the other griffons, while I tried to get down into the Abysmal Abyss. That was where the idol was supposed to have been lost. But I got stuck down there; my rope gave out and I busted my ankle in the fall, and then that jerk griffon wouldn’t help me unless I paid him.”

“Luckily, Pinkie and Gilda came to help. But before they could throw me a rope, the ledge gave out beneath me. Pinkie dived after me and stopped me falling, and Gilda held her a little further up. But then, Gilda spotted the idol resting on a ledge. Trouble was, if she grabbed it, we’d all fall, and with the winds in the abyss, we’d never get out again. And what do you know, Gilda left the idol and pulled us up. Turns out she wasn’t a total jerk after all.”

“So you two are friends again then?” I asked. Rainbow nodded.

“Yeah. It was stupid the way we fell out with each other. We went through all of Junior Speedsters together for pony’s sake. She’s kind of like a ‘friendship ambassador’ now for Griffonstone, teaching the other griffons about friendship.”

“Sounds like a result to me, Dash,” Lizzie chipped in. “Think you’ll head back sometime?” Rainbow shrugged her shoulders.

“Maybe,” she replied. “It was kinda interesting. Ponies don’t know that much about griffons, and it sucks that there can be such big differences between us.”

That was when an idea hit me. Why not have a bit of griffon history in the school curriculum? We already did Equestrian history, things like Hearth’s Warming, the princesses, and the expansion on the frontier. Why not add Griffon history to the list? It would certainly be good for the kids to broaden their horizons a bit. I snapped my fingers as the idea solidified.

“Rainbow you’re a genius!” I declared. The pegasus smiled smugly and puffed out her chest.

“Yeah, I know,” she replied. I rolled my eyes at that.

“You’ve just given me a great idea; teaching the foals at school a bit about Griffon history.”

“How are you going to do that though, Mam?” Lizzie asked. “Dash just said we don’t know much. It’s not like there’s going to be any kids textbooks on the subject.” I thought for a moment. There was only one real possible solution, wasn’t there.

“Then I guess I’ll go pay Twilight a visit. You said yourself Rainbow that she knows a lot about Griffon history. I’m sure she could help.” Rainbow shrugged her shoulders.

“Sure, your funeral,” she replied. She then turned to Lizzie. “C’mon, kid. We better get that ground fog around Ghastly Gorge cleared up.” The pair then took off into the sky, with Rainbow’s signature rainbow wake trailing behind her.

I got to the schoolhouse just as the little bell on the roof began to toll. Heading inside with the foals, I quickly greeted Cheerilee and asked if I could talk with her for a minute. After she’d set the youngsters to task on a vocabulary test, we went to the front of the classroom to talk. I pitched my idea to her about having somepony come in to give a short lesson on Griffon history. Cheerilee was intrigued.

“Hmm, that does sound quite interesting. And it would be a nice change of pace for everypony. I can’t see the harm in it.” I smiled.

“Brilliant. I’ll head over to Twilight’s at break time then. Want me to keep an eye on this lot for a while?” Cheerilee nodded.

“I’ll watch them at break,” she said as headed for her office. At the door, she briefly turned around. “Oh, they’re going to peer mark these vocabulary tests by the way.” I nodded in understanding, and Cheerilee went to next door to catch up on paperwork.

Morning break soon rolled around. I was scheduled to cover the science lesson after lunch, but I had some free time until then, around an hour and a half. The foals were all playing on the play equipment in the playground. It was a shame really, ever since that thieving bugger Tirek blew through town the climbing frame, slide, swing set, and tether ball have been looking a bit worse for wear. Hopefully we’d be able to get a bit of funding at the next governors meeting.

Heading back to Twilight’s, I soon found myself in the library, as I had a few days ago. I came across Spike with a mop and bucket. The crystals that make up the palace must be a beggar to keep clean. I mean, even the smallest mark would probably show up on them. Still, at least Twilight helps him out too when she can. Although I don’t think her attempts to ‘make it into a game’ will ever quite catch on.

“Hello there, Spike,” I greeted. The young dragon paused for a moment and rested against the mop.

“Oh, hey there, Margaret,” he replied. “Here to see Twilight?” I nodded.

“Yes, I just wanted to run an idea I’ve got by her. Is she in the library?” Spike grinned.

“C’mon where else is she gonna be?” he quipped. “Oh, and thanks for letting me come to Pipsqueak’s party the other day.”

“No worries. Here, tell you what, if I have time when I’m done talking to Twilight, I’ll stop and give you a hand with that.” I gestured to his ongoing housework. Spike smiled and I headed off deeper into the castle.

I found Twilight for once not reading, but writing. Finding that her own data was outmoded was something the lavender alicorn would not stand for, so she was busily correcting it and writing her own article on Griffonstone. As I sat down at the table, I spotted an envelope addressed to the Equestrian Historical Society.

“Hey, Twilight, can I talk to you for a minute?” Twilight looked up from her work. She looked a little tired. I hoped she hadn’t pulled another of her all night study sessions.

“Sure,” she replied, setting her quill down in the attendant ink bottle. “I suppose I could use a break anyway.”

“Oh, been working long on this have you?” I asked. She had a couple pages of notes on her desk. Still, she shook her head.

“No, I’ve been taking it fairly easy. I’ve only done the first seven chapters.” Turning slightly, she revealed a stack of papers some two feet high behind her. To be fair, this is the pony who considered my husband’s copy of War and Peace light reading. I did my best to mask my surprise and disbelief.

“Oh, well in that case,” I continued. “I wanted to ask you about possibly helping me out with a lesson.” Instantly, her ears perked up, and the small pony took on the demeanour of a terrier sniffing at a rabbit hole.

“I thought, since all this business in Griffonstone, maybe we could do a lesson or two about Griffon history, broaden everypony’s horizons a bit.” Twilight thought for a moment.

“That sounds like a great idea,” she proclaimed. “And I know just the pony who can help us. Spike!” Grabbing a bit of parchment, she got up and trotted over to the baby dragon, who had come running at her call.

“You’re writing to the princess?” I asked curiously. I know I was already asking a princess to help out in a lesson, but I didn’t think it would bring down Celestia herself.

“Not Celestia,” Twilight answered. “It’s one in the afternoon; Shining Armor should be giving his weekly report to the princess about now. I remembered that there’s a Griffon serving in the Royal Guard at the moment; Major Hartwin. I can’t think of anypony else who’d be better qualified than a griffon.” That was true. There is no better source than straight from the horse’s mouth, or the griffon’s beak as the case may be.

After dictating a short letter, which Spike dutifully wrote down, Twilight had him incinerate it with his fire breath, which sent it off toward Canterlot faster than any pegasus.

I stayed with Twilight, and as promised, lent Spike a helping hand with the housework while we waited for a response. About ten minutes later, Shining Armor, via Celestia, wrote us back. He’d asked the major, who’d said he’d be more than happy to give a brief lesson, and that he would come down on Monday. Satisfied with that result, I bid both pony and dragon goodbye and went to give Cheerilee the good news.

I got back to the schoolhouse just as break ended. Telling the kids to head inside and take their seats, I went to find Cheerilee. I quickly let her know that Major Hartwin would be coming down on Monday. Cheerilee seemed well pleased.

“That’s great!” she exclaimed. “You better go ahead and tall everypony then. I’m sure it’ll be something they can look forward to over the weekend.” I nodded, it is always nice when you see kids legitimately excited by the prospect of learning.

Heading back to the classroom, I found the foals all chatting amongst themselves. A quick call for quiet got that to taper off.

“Alright, everypony,” I began. “I’ve got a little bit of good news for you before we start our science lesson. I just had a talking with Princess Twilight, and she’s arranged for a griffon soldier to come from Canterlot to give a short lecture on Griffon history.” The class quickly began to chattering again before bombarding me with questions.

“Ooh, is he gonna teach us how to fight with swords?” Pipsqueak asked.

“Or how to do that really cool loud roar?” Featherweight added.

“Is this because of how Rainbow Dash saved Griffonstone?” Scootaloo joined in. I rolled my eyes.

“Alright, everypony, calm down,” I pleaded. “He’s going to be teaching you a little bit about Griffon history.” At this Diamond Tiara broke in.

“Oh great,” she grumbled. “So we have to listen to some mutant featherbrain talk about how he eats worms all day long? If we’re going to sit through stupid history lessons like that, why don’t we just have my daddy come in and talk about how he founded Barnyard Bargains?” Silver Spoon giggled next to her. Did this filly not have a single good bone in her body?

“Well, if you aren’t interested, Diamond Tiara,” I replied. “I’m sure you could go next door with Ms. Cheerilee and do some extra maths worksheets.” That shut her up.

Aside from her, everypony seemed really excited by the prospect of meeting a griffon, and they all headed home that afternoon in good spirits.

On Monday morning, I headed off to the schoolhouse as usual. Roger had headed off to the train station a couple of hours earlier, so I locked the front door behind me. Given how quiet Ponyville usually is, that’s seen as something of an oddity by most of my friends. But I lived perilously close to Birmingham, and you never do break security habits.

After checking the door was locked, and briefly heading back inside to reassure myself that I hadn’t left the stove on, I headed down the road toward the schoolhouse. The weather today was a little overcast, and brown or orange coloured leaves from the trees were steadily starting to litter the path.

Arriving at the schoolhouse, I found the place quite busy. The foals were still outside playing on the equipment. Again, I looked at the sorry state of it all. Perhaps I could enlist my son and Big Mac to maybe come and at least do some temporary repairs? Before long it was going to become a serious safety issue. I certainly didn’t want to see any of the kids getting hurt.

Heading inside, I found Cheerilee in conversation with both Twilight and a large griffon. Presumably, this was Major Hartwin.

He was about the same size as Shining Armor, albeit a griffon rather than a unicorn. His head and front half were that of an eagle, white plumage around the head, neck, and chest, which turned a light brown around the shoulders. A sharp hooked, and bright yellow beak was in the place of a snout. His forelegs too were those of an eagle. Like Discord, they ended in sharp looking talons, which presumably had better grasping abilities than hooves. His rear half was that of a lion, a dark caramel coloured coat connected to a long feline tail. On his sides were his large wings, again, those of an eagle, though like pegasi wings, they didn’t seem to be large enough to allow for flight without magic. He wore no uniform, but just by his demeanour, you could tell that this one someone you didn’t want to tick off.

I walked up to the pair as they continued talking. Cheerilee turned and introduced me.

“Ah, Margaret, good,” she said. “This is Major Hartwin, just arrived from Canterlot.” Given the similarities of claws to hands, I offered a handshake. The griffon shook my hand and, luckily, didn’t do any damage. Those claws did look very sharp after all.

“A pleasure to meet you, major,” I replied. The griffon smiled.

“Please, ladies,” he replied. “You are not soldiers, just call me Hartwin.” His accent while sounding mainly Equestrian, had a touch of a German accent to it, or possibly somewhere in Eastern Europe. He reminded me a little of Aloe and Lotus from the spa; they both hailed from Stalliongrad in the far north.

“As you like, Hartwin,” I agreed. “So, what do you have planned out for the foals?” Hartwin smiled, an odd concept for a creature with a beak.

“Well, I thought I’d talk a little bit about Griffonstone first, since it’s been the local buzzword recently. And believe it or not, that place was my old hometown when I was just a chick. After that, I thought I might talk about my own history a little, give them a snapshot of life in the Kingdom. After that, I’m sure there’ll be more than a few questions, so we can fill the rest of the time with that.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Cheerilee declared. “I think we’ll both sit in on this one too. I certainly wouldn’t mind hearing this.” She then noticed the small case that was standing next to Hartwin.

Say, what have you got in that case?” she asked curiously. Unlatching it with a claw, Hartwin explained.

“I thought a few visual aids might be useful. Something for the young ones to look at and examine.” He began to rummage through the small collection. “Let’s see, there’s a few photographs, badges and medals from my father’s time in the service, some coins, and, ah, my old officers cap. I don’t mind letting them play around with this stuff. It’s better than having it all sit around gathering dust.” He closed the case again and the three of us headed for the classroom as the school bell began to chime.

I was taking the lesson today, so I settled myself down behind the desk at the front, with Hartwin standing next to me. Cheerilee meanwhile, grabbed a spare seat and sat down in the back of the room.

The class soon filed in, and quickly noticed the out of place griffon. In the manner of young children of all kinds, there was a lot of curiosity, particularly from the Cutie Mark Crusaders. It took a bit of effort to get them all to take their seats. Only Diamond Tiara remained unimpressed. When everypony was seated, I began.

“Alright, good morning, everypony. Today we have a special guest for our history lesson.” I turned to Hartwin.

“This is Major Hartwin,” I said. “He’s an officer from the Griffon military, but at the moment he works for Princess Celestia’s Royal Guard in Canterlot. He’s kindly agreed to teach you all a little bit about Griffon history, so pay attention to what he has to say.” I turned to Hartwin and gestured for him to begin. He nodded in return.

“Well, good morning everypony. As Mrs. Owen said, my name is Major Hartwin. I come from the city of Griffonstone in the Griffon Kingdom.” Scootaloo quickly piped up.

“Hey, that’s where Rainbow Dash went last week. I heard she helped the griffons find their lost idol.” I jumped in myself.

“Scootaloo, you don’t interrupt me when I’m teaching, do you?” I warned. “Listen to what Major Hartwin has to say.”

“Oh, yes, Mrs. Owen” the pegasus replied dutifully, falling silent again. Hartwin smiled and looked at the filly.

“Well, er, Scootaloo was it? Yes, my old home did see a visit from Rainbow Dash not so long ago, and we did end up finding a very important idol. Well, briefly anyway. How about I tell you the story of the Idol of Boreas?” The foals all nodded in agreement.

“Well, the idol was once one of the most important artifacts in the whole kingdom. It brought the Griffons together and allowed all the warring tribes in ancient times to come together and form the Griffon Kingdom. Instead of always fighting with each other, it inspired them to seek peace with one another, to trade rather than take what they wanted by force. It sat next to the original throne that sat in Griffonstone.

“But the idol was lost many years ago. An evil creature called Arimaspi came to try and steal it away from us. It was a horrid monster, with goat like horns, and one huge eye. He was obsessed with wealth and sought to keep the idol for himself. Our soldiers tried to protect the idol, but the beast was too strong. It took the idol from its resting place and fled. But our brave soldiers, led by King Guto, chased the demon, eventually cornering it on a rope bridge above the Abysmal Abyss. The king slashed the ropes holding the bridge up, and the demon fell to its death, but took the idol with it.

“The defeat of Arimaspi was both our greatest triumph and defeat. The idol was not seen again, until not so long ago, and sadly, it has never been recovered. But nowadays, most griffons remind themselves that it was just a piece of gold. And it was greed that made Arimaspi become who he was.”

Hartwin went on to explain what happened next, how, after King Guto’s death, the kingdom became unstable. The longstanding alliances between the factions began to break down. Ultimately, the once peaceful kingdom descended into a bloody civil war. It emerged ten years later as the tyrannical Griffon Empire, led by its first and only emperor. The new nation, held together by force quickly grew unstable. In an effort to placate his people at home, the emperor did what any good dictator does; turn to foreign policy.

Through propaganda and cunning deception, he convinced the people that Equestria was the cause of all their woes. The green and pleasant land would be ideal territory for the griffons, and a welcome change from the cold and inhospitable lands of their own battle scarred country.

The First Griffon War, as Equestrians call it, was not particularly long. The griffons could not stand up to the power of magic, certainly not when the princesses themselves joined the fray. The griffons were defeated in just over a year, and forced back to their original borders. The emperor however, managed to hang onto power.

Despite their defeat, the griffons soon engaged in a second conflict a decade later, this time trying to convince Yakyakistan and other nations to form an alliance against Equestria. When this was uncovered, the Equestrians launched a preemptive strike. This time fighting on the Griffons own soil, the conflict was fiercer but again ended with Equestria’s victory.

That however, only served to destabilise the regime further. The imperial government collapsed, the emperor executed for treason. The empire broke up and the griffons again descended into squabbling nation states, one of which, a long-time supporter of the empire again sough vengeance against Equestria. Declaring himself the new emperor, this warlord threatened to declare war against Equestria. However, through means that to this day are unknown, Princess Celestia managed to broker a truce and got the wannabe emperor to surrender large portions of his personal estate to her.

The last war in recent griffon history was a final civil war, which Hartwin, much to my surprise, referred to as the ‘Great Patriotic War’, though known as the Third Griffon War in Equestria. It saw what started as a small coalition eventually uniting the majority of the states, and bring to heel those that still wished to engage in warmongering. This new nation, dubbed the Griffon Republic, existed only for a few years until King Guto’s rightful heir could be found, thereafter it returned to its status as the Griffon Kingdom, albeit with a new capital city, as by then Griffonstone had fallen into disrepair.

After that lesson, which seemed to greatly interest the class, Hartwin turned his box of tricks. The colts in particular were interested in his medals, and Button Mash certainly looked good in Hartwin’s dark green officer’s cap, ill-fitting as it was. In the end, Hartwin simply let the foals have a look. They all rummaged through the gas masks, field glasses, uniforms, medals, and anything else they could get their hooves on.

Kids do seem to learn more when they actually have a chance to interact with something, instead of just reading about it in a textbook. Hartwin seemed to enjoy the experience too. After all, living in Equestria at the moment, I guess that he doesn’t run into his own kind too often, or get to talk about his own country.

Eventually, the bell rang and we had to call it quits. The foals were all sad to see Hartwin go, but we had other lessons to get on with, and he had his post to get back to.

All in all, Cheerilee decided that the lesson had been a success. The vast number of ponies converging on Twilight’s castle that evening, looking for books about griffons, certainly seemed to illustrate that point.

Chapter 8 - Slice of Life

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It isn’t too often that I get invited to important events. The gala was certainly the first high society function I’d attended. But more common ceremonies also tend to fall outside my purview. Weddings for example. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of weddings I’ve attended, including my own. I suppose it’s due to the baby boomer gap that in my family, most of my time in a church was due to the sad matter of a relative crossing through the river Jordan.

For me, it is a bit sad, going to more funerals than wedding or christenings. Our extended family has gotten smaller over the years, with most of my cousins passing away, as well as both mine and Roger’s parents. So, you can imagine how nice it was when I found myself invited to a wedding here in Ponyville.

I’d just finished up another load of ironing for the week and was almost done folding everything up to be put away, when there was a knock at the door. It was lucky I wasn’t working at school today (I was marking homework here; working from home is a bit easier if you ask me), or I might have missed it.

Opening up the front door, I found Derpy Hooves waiting outside. The grey coated, blond maned, and lazy-eyed pegasus is the local mailmare for Ponyville, working with the Equestrian Post Office. She deliverers the morning mail, parcels and helps run the little post office and adjacent telegraph station. She’s also Dinky’s mum. Dinky being the brightest pony in my class by miles. Well, half pony actually. But that’s another story. Derpy had her EPO saddlebags on, and had quite a lot of letters to deliver by the looks of it.

“Morning, Derpy,” I greeted. “What brings you this way?” Usually, mail was delivered in the typical way, put in the mailbox with the little flag raised. So what had caused Derpy to come knocking on my front door? Reaching into her saddlebags, the mare carefully pulled out a letter with her mouth, before passing it to me in her hooves.

“Special delivery for you, Margaret,” she replied brightly. “Matilda insisted that I deliver them personally to everypony in town.”

“Matilda?” I asked. Matilda was an elderly donkey that lived in Ponyville. She was in a small cottage on the edge of town, not too far from the only jack in town, Cranky. I didn’t know her too well, but we were friendly enough. Opening up the letter, I read the invitation within.

“Matilda and Cranky are getting married,” I said happily. The ornate little invite asked for the attendance of myself and Roger at town hall next Friday to witness the marriage of the pair.

“Thanks for this, Derpy,” I said, folding the invitation up again and replacing it in the envelope. “That’s really brightened my day. So I guess the rest of your deliveries today are all the other invitation. Derpy nodded.

“Yep,” she replied, sounding excited. “There’s one for everypony in Ponyville, and a load more for ponies all over Equestria. Even the princesses are getting invites.” My eyebrows went up.

“Wow, sounds like it’s going to be a pretty big affair. Might even put Shining’s and Cadance’s wedding to shame.”

“Well, as long as the changelings don’t try and steal anypony’s love, I think we’ll be fine,” Derpy joked. That made me laugh.

“Very true, Derpy. Alright, I’ll let you get on your way. Take care now.” The pegasus waved goodbye and headed back down the street before somewhat unsteadily heading off into the sky. What with her lazy eye, she isn’t exactly the most capable flyer. Still, I’ve never had any parcel arrive damaged, and she’s never lost anything, and she’s never tried to interfere with the mail, so she’d a damn sigh better than the old Royal Mail back home.

Heading back down the hall, I walked into the kitchen and pinned the invitation for the wedding on the little board we have on the far wall. I then took the calendar off the back of the kitchen door. Double checking the date, I quickly found the day the wedding was to be held. It was going to be a Friday, a little odd if you ask me. I would have thought that a Saturday or Sunday would be better. But hey, not my day, so not my call. Maybe there’s bad weather scheduled on Saturday or something? Grabbing a pencil, I jotted down a little note on the calendar that read ‘Cranky + Matilda’s Wedding @ Town Hall’.

Placing the calendar back on its little hook on the kitchen door, I turned my attention back to laundry. I’d need to think about picking something out to wear soon. My gala outfit would be a bit overstated, but I was sure there was something suitable for me. A few of my clothes came through that rift when it opened the second time. I ought to check and see if I had any of my church clothes.

A few hours later, Roger came home from work. I was upstairs, still trying to choose what to wear when I heard the door bang shut. He really needs to stop doing that, or he’ll knacker the deadbolt.

“I’m home!” I heard him call out. I turned and walked to the bedroom door.

“I’m upstairs!” I called back down to him. Usually, this followed with him coming upstairs to talk. I asked him how his day was, he did the same, and we both chatted, this time though, things were a little out of routine.

“Could you come down here a minute?” he asked. “There’s something you need to see.” I paused where I was a moment. What could be the matter? Curious, I headed downstairs.

Walking into the kitchen, I found Roger standing there in his usual work suit. But much to my surprise, standing next to him with its tail wagging and its tongue lolling out of its mouth, was a fairly large dog. The dog looked to be something of a mongrel, with an Alsatian coat, but a little undersized for a pure bred. It seemed to have a bit of Collie in it as well. It seemed friendly enough though, barking in a friendly way as I walked in.

“Where’d did you find this fella then?” I asked excitedly, going over to the excitable canine and making a fuss of him.

We’d been talking about getting a dog for a while. With both the kids having moved out, the house can get pretty quiet at times, particularly when it’s just me at home. And even with Roger about, at times, the place can feel a bit empty. It happens to all parents, I guess. One day, all the babies have flown the nest. A dog, while not a replacement for children, can be a great companion. They are supposed to be man’s best friend after all. Still, I hadn’t realised that Roger had actually gone out and bought one.

“This is Charlie,” Roger explained. “I…er…met him in Canterlot and thought he could stay with us.” I was too busy making a fuss of the big guy to pay much attention.

“Well of course he can stay with us. He’s adorable!” I exclaimed. Roger cleared his throat in an effort to get my attention.

“Well, before you make your decision, there’s something you ought to know.”

He was about to go on when it happened. I later learned that the love I was probably radiating at that moment triggered it. Charlie seemed to be overcome by a fit of some sort, whining irritably, his teeth gnashing and his body tensing up. I stepped back just as the magic he was using deactivated.

Green flames seemed to wash over his form and a moment later, I found myself face to face, with a changeling.

I’m fairly certain I screamed at that point. Understandable, since the newly unmasked changeling was now hissing like an angry cat and its snake like tongue was out, along with its sharp fangs. All in all, a rather scary prospect.

I quickly did what I could to protect myself from the perceived threat. Running over to the kitchen sink, I grabbed a frying pan from the rack and landed a blow squarely on top of the beastie’s head.

The changeling didn’t seem to like that, for it hissed at me again. I was about to land a second blow, and possibly knock it out, when I found my pan wielding hand seized by another hand. Turning, I saw Roger holding me back, and stopping me from striking the changeling.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” he reassured me, doing his best to calm me down. “He’s a friend.”

“A friend?” I exclaimed. “That’s a sodding changeling, and it’s trying to eat me!” I shouted back. I tried to wrestle free of his grip. Roger then turned to the changeling.

“Charlie, stop it!” he barked. I didn’t expect him to have much effect. But to my surprise, the changeling actually did stop, it even whined a little, splaying its ears back. For a few moments we all stood still, before I finally set the pan down. Roger relaxed too, while the changeling continued to cower.

“Now, I’m sorry about that,” Roger began, more calmly. “I didn’t intend for you to find out like that. But Charlie here is a changeling. He’s a friendly one though, like Strong Shield. He was caught on his own trying to find a food source. He’s not a spy, or an assassin, he’s just hungry. I talked with Celestia and suggested the idea that we look after him. But to keep him safe, I asked him to disguise himself as a dog. I figured that he could pretend to be our pet in order to feed himself.”

“I’ve seen what those things do. Look what happened to Shining Armor,” I replied. “I’m not having a creature that can suck all the love out of me under my roof.” Roger shook his head again.

“He won’t do that. A drone like Charlie doesn’t even need that much. I let him feed off me earlier; all that happens is you have a slight headache for a minute. And he’s not going to hurt us. He does what I ask him, because he sees me as a friend. Watch.” He then turned to the changeling, which was now nursing the spot on its head where I’d hit it.

“Charlie, turn back to a dog for me.” The changeling looked up for a moment. It then activated its magic. Green fire again washed over it, receding a moment later, leaving the same dog I’d seen before.

“See, he doesn’t mean any harm,” Roger explained. “We can easily look after him, and who knows, maybe it will convince other changelings to do the same; become symbiont with ponies rather than predators.”

I turned to look at the ‘dog’, which had evidently listened to our conversation, and was giving me its best puppy dog eyes. It had scared me when I saw it. But it hadn’t done anything threatening until I’d hit it. And I suppose, if someone hit me over the head with a frying pan, I’d be pretty miffed too.

And even as a changeling, the poor thing had looked very sad cowering on our kitchen floor like that. And Roger had shown that it listened to him. Plus, my son would probably point out that if Charlie had meant to do us harm, it had had plenty of opportunities to do so already, and it hadn’t.

“Alright,” I said at length. “He can stay for a while.”

After a week, a while became a permanent residence. We had ourselves a new dog. They do say be careful what you wish for.

The day of the wedding was soon upon us. I was getting dressed in the bedroom when I heard Roger call up.

“Wow, looks like a bugbear’s wandered into town,” he declared, sounding a little surprised.

Bugbears were, by all accounts, nasty things. I remember having to do a lesson on the various fauna of Equestria at the school, and bugbears came up. They were predatory creatures, resembling a large panda, yet they had insect like wings, allowing them to fly, and a stinger that could do serious damage to anypony it touched. All in all then, best to stay out of their way.

“Well, as long as it isn’t another pack of timberwolves and it isn’t coming this way, I don’t mind,” I replied.

Timberwolves were just as nasty, and like bugbears, their name is quite literal; wolves made of wood. Bones and Applejack had been in something of a small war with them the last few months. A pack had been coming awfully close to the farmhouse and the sheep pens. The trouble is that you can’t really kill them. If you hit them, they break apart, but after a minute or so, the innate magic in them reforms them.

As I finished putting on my lipstick, I heard the doorbell go. Charlie quickly began barking. He’d been pacing around all morning since the bugbear turned up. Glancing out of the window, I saw that Twilight and her friends were all after it. Twilight and Rarity were blasting it with magic, Applejack was trying to hogtie it with her lasso, Pinkie Pie was hurling pies at it, Rainbow was shooting around the thing at terrific speed, and Fluttershy was giving the beast her infamous stare. I wondered who it was that braved the current monster attack. Though, if you live here long enough, you get used to it, I didn’t even notice the damn thing until I went to get the mail.

“I’ll get it,” Roger called out. I heard him heading downstairs.

While he dealt with our visitor, I turned my attention back to the girls. They seemed to be winning so far. I just hoped that they’d have everything wrapped up before the ceremony. I checked the clock on the bedside table. The wedding wasn’t for half an hour. As a rule, Twilight and her friends had these problems wrapped up in twenty minutes tops, so we ought to be fine. I’m sure Matilda and Cranky didn’t want their day spoiled by that mutant. A few moments later, I heard Roger close the front door again.

“Who was that?” I asked.

“Time Turner. He needs his suit fixing, wanted to see if I could put him in touch with Elusive or lend him something. If you ask me he’s left it a bit late.” I threw on my cardigan.

“I’m sure he’ll figure something out,” I replied. Roger was ready to go, dressed in his work suit with a few extra touches on it.

“Ready to go?” he asked. I’d been ready for a while. I was waiting on him to get his arse in gear. We were going miss the start of the ceremony if we didn’t hurry.

“Yes, yes, I’m ready,” I replied, adjusting my cardigan a bit. “Come on, let’s get a move on!”

We quickly headed downstairs, grabbing our wedding present for Matilda and Cranky, and hurried out the door. Unfortunately, much to my annoyance, I forgot to pick up my handbag on the way out, so we had to briefly turn around and head back. After that minor setback though, we were off, heading for Town Hall and the first wedding I’ve ever attended in Equestria.

We skirted around a few streets in order to give the still ongoing battle between pony and bugbear a wide berth. We wound our way around past Carousel Boutique, then past Milano’s small abode, and then turned toward the middle of town, walking past the gaudy mansion that Filthy Rich's father had had built when his Barnyard Bargains chain first boomed. The iron gates around the latter, whilst imposing, would do little to hold back a bugbear though.

As we continued our journey, my husband occasionally complaining about the heavy wedding present he had to carry, I picked up the easily recognisable whooshing sound of pegasi in flight.

Looking up, and squinting a little against the mid-morning sun, I picked out a lone pegasus busting up a few clouds around town. The dark blue colour of her coat and her brunette mane quickly told me that it was my own daughter that was systematically annihilating the local cloud population. Roger spotted her too, and cupping one hand against the side of his mouth, he called up to her.

“Hey there, Lizzie!” he bellowed, catching her attention. She paused for a moment. Jumping on top of one of the clouds she was about to kick into fine mist, she peered down at the pair of us. A moment later, she leapt down off the cloud and, opening her wings, let herself glide down towards us. As she drew nearer to the ground, she began to flap her wings in a steady rhythm, arresting her descent. She finally stopped, hovering about five or six feet off the ground.

“Hi Dad, hi Mum,” she replied, continuing to hover. How she did so I have no idea. Aerodynamically, pegasi shouldn’t be able to even glide, never mind hover like a harrier. “You two heading off to the wedding?”

“Yeah, we thought we’d get an early start in case of that bugbear thing,” I replied. “What about you, keeping the sky clear for the big day?” Lizzie nodded and gestured to the almost perfectly clear skies.

“It was supposed to be a few of us. But Dash is helping Twilight and the others, Cloud Kicker’s kid is sick, and Thunderlane…actually I think he’s just hung over.” She chuckled at that last part. It was probably true too, from what Rumble tells me, his older brother does have quite the liking for the demon drink. Though he can’t hold his liquor to save his life.

“Don’t worry though. I’ll manage,” Lizzie went on. “I’ll see you and your pet idiot at the wedding though, right?” I chuckled at that.

“Don’t call your brother that, sweetie,” Roger said pleadingly. Lizzie merely grinned. She’s always had issues with her older brother. Probably something to do with the fact that he first ignored her, and then teased and tormented her for about eight years straight.

With that, she flapped her wings a little harder, gained some altitude, and the rocketed off back into the sky.

Continuing along the road, we soon came upon the odd mix and match house that was the home of two of Ponyville’s most famous musicians; Octavia Melody and Vinyl Scratch.

Octavia, a gifted cellist has quite a following on the classical music circuit, playing concerts in several of the major cities, including Canterlot, where she has on several occasions played privately for Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. With his position, and healthy income, Roger has been able to take me to a couple of those concerts, both large orchestral performances, as well as some of Octavia’s solo concerts. She is certainly a gifted player, though how she manages to hold the bow, never mind depress the strings with just her hooves is beyond me. After all, a cello is designed for a player that is bipedal a far cry from the earth pony virtuoso. Still, as I said, she’s an excellent player, and somewhat close friends with Roger too; I’d seen the pair talking toward the end of the Grand Galloping Gala.

As for Vinyl Scratch, or DJ Pon-3 as she calls herself on stage, I don’t particularly care for her style of music. I won’t knock it, for she enjoys just as many bookings all over Equestria as Octavia does, but dear God it’s a racket. Still, my dad said the same thing about my music tastes when I was younger. I know for a fact Lizzie likes it; she and a few friends from the Weather Patrol went out to a nightclub up in Canterlot not too long ago for her birthday party, and she seemed to have a good time.

As we walked past the house, I could hear both ponies within, practicing their craft. Octavia was playing her cello, while Vinyl was splicing together goodness knows how many other tracks on her turntable. Strangely, as they continued, the two styles seemed to mesh together, forming a unique style of their own. And, if I do say so myself, I rather liked it. It certainly made sense that the pair had been asked to play for the wedding and the reception afterwards.

Before long though, we had arrived at Town Hall, which was now lavishly decorated for the occasion. Carnival style bunting hung all over the outside, and as we walked in, was still being hung front the rafters inside. Everything was nearly ready for the big event. I even spotted Bon Bon abseiling out the window, presumably to put some finishing touches on the work outside. Although, why she had those dark glasses on I have no idea.

In the centre of the hall was the main stage, where Mayor Mare; the local JP would be marrying Cranky and Matilda. Most of the rest of the hall was taken up by rows upon rows of seats for all the guests. A little off to the side though, was a rather odd looking contraption; a glass tank some eight feet high, filled with strange glowing objects. The somewhat steampunk design told me that this had to belong to Time Turner, and I decided that these had to be those new flameless fireworks he’d been working on.

Ah, yes, I haven’t told you about that, have I?

Time Turner is the only creature in Ponyville, aside from ourselves, Charlie, and Spike that is not a pony. Well, technically he is a pony; he looks like a pony after all. But a quick medical examination will flag up an extra heart, a binary vascular system, and an exceptional resistance to extreme temperatures.

Time Turner was actually a Timelord, the Timelord to be precise. I guess the world of My Little Pony wasn’t the only one that turned out to be real. He’d found himself here a few years ago, lost his proverbial magic box and been stranded ever since.

He and I first crossed paths over Dinky. As I said before, the little unicorn filly is smart for her age; too smart. She’s actually only half pony; the result of a union between Time Turner and Derpy. The filly has an IQ similar to him, as well as some of his physiological properties, but lacks the capacity to regenerate.

With no time machine to call on, and a group already available to tackle world-ending threats, he’s settled down into something of a retirement, mending clocks at his shop in Ponyville. But he also continues to dabble in the sciences, greatly relishing the study of magic and invents things at a rate comparable with Caractacus Potts. I was introduced to his latest creation a couple of weeks ago, when I went to his shop to get the clock in our hallway mended.

I entered Time Turner’s little shop just as two o’clock struck. The small shop was suddenly filled with a cacophony of noise, as all the clocks in the building all began to chime, gong, and coo-coo at the same moment. Luckily, after a few moments, everything returned to quiet. Well, quiet as in the constant ticking of some fifty clocks. Walking up to the counter, I found it unattended.

“Time Turner?” I called out, looking into the doorway which led to the rear portion of the shop. “Are you in here?”

As I spoke I heard a sudden loud clatter followed by a short series of small bangs. A moment later, both the stallion in question, and a large amount of smoke came out into the shop front. He coughed slightly, the smoke coming out in a variety of odd colours. Shaking himself, he trotted over to the counter.

“Are, hello there, Margaret,” he greeted. “Sorry about all that. Just trying to get a little something worked out.”

“Oh, another secret project?” I enquired. Derpy had already warned him about those. The silly bugger still didn’t have his eyebrows back from his last project. The chestnut earth pony shrugged.

“Eh, something like that. I’m working on fireworks at the moment.” An instinct in me told me to run like hell.

“They’re flameless though,” he went on. “Something you can let off indoors say, or at least not have to worry about anypony getting hurt when they go off. I just can’t get the triggering mechanism to work. And as you can see, they don’t like being forced to go off.” He gestured to himself. His coat was now a set of multicolour blotches, and he was still coughing up rainbow coloured smoke.

“Anyway,” he said, after a brief pause. “Back to the reason for your business. Something up with this little number?” He took a look at the small wall clock I’d brought with me.

“Yes,” I replied, nodding. “The thing keeps losing time; about five minutes every hour. Roger was almost late for work yesterday, so I figured it couldn’t hurt for you to take a look at it.”

“Fair enough,” Time Turner agreed, picking up the clock with his front hooves. “Give me a couple days and then call back. I think I’ve got a good idea what’s causing your little problem.”

“Thanks, Doc,” I replied. He then carried the contraption into the back of the shop, where he has his little workshop/mad scientist laboratory.

Making our way inside, we first stopped by the large table to drop off our wedding present. Standing there, who do I see but both the princesses. The two royal sisters seemed to be in the midst of something of a spat. From what I picked up as we passed by, Celestia had forgotten to bring the wedding present with her, had tried to blame Luna, who’d protested her innocence, and was now worried about being caught out.

Passing them, and having deposited our little gift, Roger, Charlie, and I went to take our seats. We found one row comparatively empty and settled ourselves down there. Ahead of us sat Princess Cadence and Shining Armor, the latter of whom was weeping like a foal. Cadence turned to us, an apologetic look on her face.

“Sorry, Shining always cries at weddings,” she explained. Shining Armor continued to bawl without restraint.

“Why couldn’t my wedding be like this!” the typically gallant captain exclaimed. Though to be fair, his wedding, and about a week leading up to it, was hijacked by an evil demon and an army of emotion stealing monsters. I turned to look at Charlie; present company excepted, of course.

As the usually calm stallion continued to cry, there was an almighty crash. Through the doors came…well, half the town actually, flying along on Vinyl’s turntable set. The bride and groom suddenly found themselves at the altar, the musicians in place, and virtually all the guests.

Time Turner also appeared, still without his suit, but wearing a very long and well suited scarf that trailed along behind him. He settled himself down behind us, though he was still worried about getting his flameless fireworks going.

Lizzie and Blade Star also joined us. Applejack and Fluttershy were still both busy fighting that bugbear, so they’d decided to sit with us. As the pair walked up though, my son stopped where he was and glared at the seat behind me, where we had left Charlie.

“What the sam hell is that thing doing here?!” he exclaimed. “Can’t you varmints let one wedding go through without messin’ things up?”

Both Roger and I turned around, the problem was quite obvious. Charlie was now no longer in his disguise. To anypony who cared to look, there was a changeling sitting in his place, happily feeding off the love coming from everypony nearby. Roger quickly stepped in.

“No, Charlie! Back as a dog! Back as a dog!” he shouted, waving his arms frantically. Luckily, Charlie seemed to realise his mistake, and a moment later, the green magic of his species washed over him again. When it receded, he was back to his usual disguise of a dog.

The sudden appearance of a changeling, and at a wedding too, put my son on edge. And it took quite a bit of explaining to assure him that Ponyville was not under threat of a changeling army. Lizzie too was quite spooked. Even friendly changeling can look quite scary; the blue, staring eyes, the sharp fangs, and that serpentine tongue; they really are like the stuff of nightmares at times.

Still, eventually they were both satisfied that the solitary drone meant no harm. Lizzie even seemed to take to him in his canine disguise. Bones remained somewhat standoffish.

A few moments later, Derpy trotted in and closed the door behind her, allowing the ceremony to begin. Mayor Mare gave a wonderful little speech on how everypony had come together for the special occasion. That was certainly true; ponies had come from far and wide, and from all walks of life to make this wedding possible. For goodness sake, the best man was a huge sea serpent, with a mustache.

With no objections to the union, and both parties agreeing to the usual vows, Cranky and Matilda were married jack and jenny, with everypony cheering in celebration.

There was only one thing amiss; I hadn’t seen Twilight and her friends. It seemed odd that they should miss such a happy event. They were probably just finishing typing up that bugbear or something.

But hey, what can you do? That’s just a normal day in Ponyville. You live here long enough, you’ll get used to it.

Chapter 9 - Dreamwalking

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For the second time in my life, I found myself standing in the strange celestial void that was the dreamscape, completely lucid. It was just as it had been when Luna last brought me here. All around were stars and planets, with comets streaking across the sky. The world seemed to shimmer with a heat haze as the magic of this place saturated everything. A few moments after my arrival, Luna appeared.

The night princess smiled as she landed on the pathway and walked up to me.

“Margaret, a pleasure to see you again as always,” she said kindly. I smiled back.

“It’s good to see you too, Luna,” I replied, offering a slight bow. “Have another mission for me, do you?” The princess laughed and shook her head.

“No, no, nothing so complicated,” she answered. “I’ve been touring the dreamscape this past week paying call on everypony in Ponyville, thanking them for the part they played in saving Equestria and helping me conquer my own demons.”

Ah, she was talking about the Tantabus. There’d been something of an incident about a week ago now. It first began with Twilight and her friends noticing that they were each experiencing a sudden rash of nightmares and bad dreams. As I’ve said before, dreams were much more important in Equestria than they were back on Earth, so this epidemic was of serious concern.

However, before Twilight had a chance to investigate further, she was approached by Princess Luna, who confessed that she was partly responsible for the sudden surge. You see, the once mare of darkness had been torturing herself for many months. Fearful of what might happen, should she one day slip back down the path that led her to become Nightmare Moon, she fashioned a creature, which she called the Tantabus. Its purpose was simple; each night to give her the same nightmare of falling to darkness, to remind her of her past failings. Harsh yes, but she deemed it necessary.

However, the creature soon found itself no longer content with just her dream and managed to jump to those of Twilight and her friends, having encountered a dream version of them in Luna’s dreams. The risk was that it could spread in such a way, until it gained sufficient power to enter the real world, where it would retain its powers to warp reality into an unending nightmare.

Well, we couldn’t have that now, could we? So, with Luna stabilising the dream, the girls all attempted to help her capture the Tantabus. Unfortunately, the wily demon was too quick and clever to be caught. What was worse, after it entered Pinkie Pie’s dream, it gained access to everypony in Ponyville.

The next night, Luna and Twilight were forced to take drastic action. If the Tantabus was not stopped at this point, it would surely escape. So, we all found ourselves drafted into a rag tag group to try and defeat the creature in our collective dream. The advantage was that, being lucid, we would be able to do anything we could imagine.

Still, it was not an easy task, and the Tantabus almost escaped. It was only when Luna confronted her own self-loathing that the Tantabus was brought under control. Luckily, it did not escape, though it came very bloody close. We all played our part doing everything we could think of to stop the Tantabus, myself included.

“No need to thank us, Luna,” I replied. “Hay, I’m not surprised you’re not just taking a break for a couple of days.” Luna shook her head.

“Alas, marauding nightmares are never entirely dormant. Although it has been quiet these past few nights. And, now that you mention it, I have been ‘taking it easy’ somewhat.” I cocked my head to one side.

“Oh, how so?” I asked curiously.

“I have been joining my subjects in their dreams, taking part in their many adventures. It has been a most pleasant change of pace, just like the old days when Tia and I were youngsters. Perhaps you would care to join me tonight, as a favour for all you’ve done for me in your short time here?”

“Sure, I don’t see why not. It isn’t like I have anything pressing until the morning,” I replied jokingly. Luna beamed.

“Excellent!” she declared happily. “Then let us begin!”

With a flick of her horn, Luna summoned up the many doors that led into each pony’s dreams. Walking over to one with an apple motif on it, she gestured for me to follow.

“Come,” she said. “Let us see what your dear ‘Bones’ is up to.”

Pushing the door open, we stepped through into the white void.

After stepping through the door, I was blinded for a few moments. However, before long, my vision cleared.

I found myself facing Luna, who was sitting directly opposite from me on a rowing boat. Evidently, we were somewhere near the back, because ahead of us, I could see a few sailors heaving away at the oars. And behind me, there stood another, more senior man, presumably the coxswain.

We were slowly making our way through the water towards a sailing ship a little ways ahead of us. It was an old ship, from sometime in the early nineteenth century at a guess. It was, I think, what you would call a sloop. A small, trim raiding craft that preferred speed over firepower.

Fluttering from its stern, I saw the white ensign, with a quartering of the Union Jack; the flag of the Royal Navy’s Grand Fleet. So it was what they call a man-of-war, as opposed to a merchant or passenger ship. As we drew closer, I could make out the closed gun ports, ten on each side. That made this a twenty gun sloop. As we continued on our way towards the vessel, I made conversation with the princess sitting opposite me.

“Any idea where we are, Luna?” I asked, curious to see what she knew.

“Not as such,” she replied, after looking about herself for a moment. “This is clearly your world rather than mine.” She gestured to the men manning the oars. “However, I know that Blade Star enjoys a fine sea story as much as the next pony. So I expect that we shall find him aboard, waiting for us.”

“Waiting for us?” I parroted, curiously. Luna nodded and explained.

“Typically, when I enter a dream, I cause the dreamer to become aware of their state. But since my mission tonight is mere merriment, I avoid taking such action. Thus, while the dreamer will recognise us, rather than making them lucid at once, we shall be integrated into their dream. The mind will give us a role to play. That is half the fun of these little trips. You never know quite what to expect.”

As this explanation came to an end, we began to draw alongside the ship. Behind me, the coxswain order the men to first lay on their oars, and then toss them, that is, to stop rowing, and then raise the oars out of the water and into the air, in order to allow the boat to lay alongside the ship.

A rope ladder was quickly unfurled and clattered against the wooden hull. I opted to take this route, pulling myself up to the deck. Luna meanwhile, who would find the use of such a device a little difficult, opted to use her wings to propel herself up.

As I climbed, I heard a few drums begin to play out a long roll, as well as an odd whistling sound, from what I believe are called a bosun’s call, so named for the bosun’s who play them.

I got up to the deck just after Luna did and, hauling myself up, found myself with quite a surprising sight.

It seemed that most of the crew were turned out to greet us. I later learned that they had ‘piped the sides’ a practice reserved for greeting important visitors and the captain when they board the ship. Before me were the slightly ragged looking pressed sailors, the finely turned out officers in the dark navy blue coats and black bicorne hats, and the red coated, well-armed marines that stood to separate both parties. These now had their muskets presented for inspection and as the drum roll stopped, the officers who were gathered toward the stern removed their hats.

A quick look around found the odd man, or rather odd pony out in the large gathering. Bones was standing with the officers, with the markings of a commander, and was quite clearly the most senior man aboard. His expression was stern, but at the same time welcoming in a genteel way. To my surprise, when he spoke, it was with his old accent, with no trace of the Americanisms he’d picked up from living with the Apples.

“Luna, Margaret,” he greeted us cordially. “Allow me to welcome you aboard His Majesty’s sloop the Sophie.”

Ah yes, my son was always a bit of a fan of the Patrick O’Brian stories. I guess he was standing in for old Jack Aubrey. I’d seen the films, but I’d never read any of the books. Meanwhile, Luna jumped straight into the fantasy that was provided for us.

“I apologise for having compelled you to divert here to pick us up,” she ventured.

“That’s quite alright, Princess,” Bones replied, replacing his hat and walking down the small set of the stairs that led up to the quarterdeck. “We’ve only recently just finished up a French convoy trying to make a run through the straits, so it was a welcome break.”

“I take it though,” Luna asked. “That you’ll be getting underway now.”

“That we shall, Princess,” he replied, bowing slightly. “It is indeed high time we got back out into open water. If anything came upon us here, this little bay might not be such a welcoming spot after all.”

Turning around, I saw that we were indeed in a large bay of a small island. Presumably that was where we had come from.

Bones quickly gave order to dismiss all hands and get them back to work. The sailors went back to their work, the marines returned to their posts as did the officers. I’m no expert in military matters, but based on the insignias, the ships had a commander, a master, no post captain, a lieutenant, and four midshipmen. Walking back up to the quarterdeck, Bones turned to the lieutenant, a tall, dark haired man, who I’m guessing was the first officer.

“Number One, if you would prepare to make sail?” The lieutenant nodded.

“Aye aye, sir,” he answered, turning to the deck below and raising his voice. “Prepare to weigh anchor! Man the capston!” Whistles piped out and orders were quickly passed. One of the midshipmen too now raised his voice.

“Hands aloft to loose the topsail!” the young lad bellowed.

Men quickly began to climb the rigging to reach the sail at the top of the mainmast; the centre of the three masts on the Sophie. At present, like all the others, it was furled away since the ship was at anchor. Down below, in the bowels of the ship, men were preparing to push against the capston, the huge pulley that would haul the anchor up and out of the water.

Bones watched the group climb up onto the mast and station themselves along the sail. Once they were ready, the first lieutenant called out again.

“Heave away at the capston!” he roared. The men all began to push against the wooden wheel, and it slowly began to rotate. A minute or so later, and we heard the midshipman call out again.

“Loose the topsail!”

All at once, the pristine white sail dropped down to its full length, quickly billowing as it caught the wind. A moment later, and the undulating motion of a ship at anchor was replaced by the more familiar motion of moving along on a rolling sea. Other sails were soon brought into play and before long we were underway at a fair old pace, at least by the standards of sailing ships. Bones now turned to the first lieutenant.

“Number One,” he said. “Set a course to skirt around Sardinia, and then take us back toward Gibraltar.” The man nodded.

“Aye aye, sir.” He then turned to the helmsman. “West by north-west, a quarter west.”

We sailed on for about a half hour or so, although Luna told me that, in real time, this was probably only a couple of minutes. Still, it gave us both a chance to look around the Sophie and talk with both Bones and the various dream constructs that made up the crew. As Luna had told me, the two of us had been integrated into the dream’s narrative, and while Bones recognised us, his dreaming mind didn’t pick up on the contradiction of us being there.

After a little while, Bones led us down into his cabin which was right at the stern of the ship. Walking down off of the quarterdeck, we headed inside. The room was fairly small, with a low hanging ceiling that made even me duck my head a little. In front of the large windows which dominated the stern of the vessel, there was a large desk and chair. On the desk was a set of old maps and nautical navigation instruments. Bones pulled out one of these maps and laid it flat on the table.

From what I could tell, we were in the Mediterranean, not to far from the western coast of Italy.

“The Sophie,” Bones explained. “Is what we call a commerce raider. Rather than going after other warships, it’s our job to capture enemy merchant shipping. Once taken, we can take them as British prizes of war, put a skeleton crew aboard, and then they can be sailed back to our base in Gibraltar. Once there, the Admiralty will purchase them, and we all make a tidy profit in prize money.” Luna raised an eyebrow.

“That almost sounds like piracy, Blade Star,” she commented in surprise. Bones chuckled.

“Were it not sanctioned by the government, Princess, it would indeed be so. But I have permission to engage in this kind of warfare and we remain bound by the Articles of War. We are not some damned privateer taking pot shots at whatever strikes our fancy.”

He was about to go on, when I heard a cry from outside. Bones scowled and, after excusing himself, headed back out onto the deck. Interested to see what was up, Luna and I followed him.

Heading outside, we saw some of the crew gathered along the starboard side. Once again, we heard a cry from above.

“Deck there!” a man yelled. “Sail ho!” Bones called back up.

“Where away?” he called back.

“Three points abaft the beam to leeward, sir!” the man yelled.

Frowning slightly, Bones walked up onto the quarterdeck to get a better view. Whatever had been spotted was behind us, and off to our right. He quickly called for a glass to take a look at the small speck that had appeared behind us. It seemed to be getting closer too. After observing a moment longer, he put down the glass and turned to the first lieutenant.

“French frigate,” he said gravely. “And a thirty eight by the look of her. Number One, clear for action.” The officer nodded and shouted out.

“Clear for action! Beat to quarters!” Once again, the ship came alive as it was prepared for combat. The drums and pipes played out the signal for battle stations. Bones’ expression however, remained concerned. He turned to us to explain.

“That frigate has more sail than us, three times our complement, and ten times our firepower. We may be in for some rough weather, I’m afraid. As soon as we come about they’ll be able to close with us.” At that moment, the pursuing frigate put a shot across the Sophie’s bow, splashing water into the deck. At this though, Bones seemed to get an idea. He called over one of the midshipmen

“Take four men with you up for’ard. I’ll be going about shortly. But a moment later, I shall change my mind. On my signal, I want you to run the jib up and flat it out to starboard. Understood?”

“Aye, sir,” the young man replied, hurrying towards the bow of the ship.

“Stand by to go about!” Bones order the helm. I could feel the tension rising, particularly as another ball splashed into the sea near us. Bones instructed the master to watch the closing frigate and report on its movements.

“Hands a lee!” Bones barked out. The command was echoed by the helmsmen and the ship wheeled hard to the right, rolling in the seas.

“He’s following our turn, sir” the master reported. The frigate was turning inside of us and would soon be able to empty its guns into us. Before that could happen though, Bones yelled out.

“Avast! Brace all back again! Set the headsail! Hard to port!”

The Sophie now released a lot more sail and wheeled back on itself, turning almost in place and swerving. The frigate meanwhile, lacking the maneuverability, couldn’t match the sudden change. Bones laughed and called out to Luna and me.

“Ha! He’s tried to follow us but he’s been taken all aback. He’s helpless!”

On the deck below, the red coated marines made ready with their muskets. While the cannons were wheeled out of the open gun ports.

“Number One, take command of the guns. We’ll render passing honours,” Bones commanded dryly.

“Aye aye, sir. Run out the guns!” the first lieutenant ordered.

“Gunners!” Bones called out. “Hold your fire until her mainmast is in your sights!”

Both ships now closed within firing range. There was a strange whizzing sound as musket balls shot past us. Before long though, the frigate had managed to bring some of its guns into range and opened up. The entire ship shook on the impact of the ball and one of the cannons was knocked free of its mount. The Sophie returned fire though and before the two ships had passed, there was a sound of splintering wood from the frigate. The centre mast wobbled and soon toppled down, taking the sails, and the ships speed with it. Amidst the cheering of the crew, Bones let out a sigh of relief as the French crew ineffectually fired muskets in their foe’s direction.

As the Sophie withdrew to a safe distance, out of range of the now crippled frigate, Luna and I congratulated Bones on his success. I had to admit that the little adventure had been quite fun, given that as this was a dream, we were quite safe from harm. Bidding him farewell, Luna lit up her horn, and the two of us returned to the dreamscape and on to our next adventure.

Once again, everything went white for a few moments before my vision cleared up. Luna and I now found ourselves in a steaming hot tropical jungle. The undergrowth was thick, and the canopy all but blotted out the sky. There was no sign of Lizzie, but I could just about make out the sound of people talking a little ways off, so Luna and I began to trek towards them.

I found that was dressed for jungle trekking, as was Luna, though it was still boiling hot and I found myself quickly breaking out into a sweat. Luna ended up creating a sort of magical machete, using her alicorn magic to cut through the thick undergrowth and trees.

After a few moments though, she suddenly signalled me to stop where I was, and gestured forward.

We had come to the edge of a medium size clearing, the sun was beating down and off in the distance, I could see a pyramid like structure that was reminiscent of the Aztecs. In the clearing, I saw several ponies. Firstly, there was Lizzie, like us, she was dressed for the conditions. But standing next to her was Daring Do.

Daring Do is something along the lines of Indiana Jones in Equestria, an explorer/archaeologist/adventurer that spends her time tracking down historical artifacts and occasionally saving the world from the likes of Ahuizotl. The series is written by A K. Yearling and has become a favourite of my daughter’s ever since Rainbow Dash introduced them to her.

Surrounding Lizzie and Daring on all sides, armed with spears were earth ponies, covered in war paint, and they didn’t look too friendly. Standing opposite the pair, was one of Daring’s nemeses; Dr. Caballeron.

“Ah, Daring Do, you chose the wrong friends. This time it will cost you.” He extended his hoof.

With a snarl, Daring hoofed over a small golden idol, while Lizzie watched the surrounding tribesponies. Caballeron smiled as he took it from her.

“And you thought I’d just given up,” he went on, examining the trinket.

“Too bad these ponies don’t know you like I do, Caballeron” Daring remarked, glaring at him as she gestured to the surrounding ponies.

“Yes, too bad,” he replied smugly. “You could warn them…if only you spoke Hoofitos.” It was then that Luna stepped out into the clearing.

“But I do, good doctor,” she called out

She then shouted out something in a foreign tongue that the tribesponies seemed to take notice of. Caballeron also turned to the two of us as we came out.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Daring and Lizzie promptly bolted, with Daring leaving behind a monochrome trail behind her, like Dash does when she rockets off. As Caballeron turned back, Luna used her magic and seized the idol from him. And with that, we began to run too, following Lizzie and Daring. I was glad I could keep up with Luna in this dream, normally a pony at full gallop would easily outpace me. As we ran, I heard Caballeron shout out at the tribesponies, followed by the sound of galloping hooves at our heels.

We soon caught up with Lizzie and Daring, who were also running hell for leather, and weaving left and right as the spears, tipped with poison, came flying through the air and landing all around us.

Before long we broke out of the jungle onto an open plain. Ahead of us was a large lake, with a floatplane sitting idle on the surface.

“Thank Celestia, RD’s still here!” Lizzie cried out. Daring then began yelling.

“Dash!” she yelled “Dash! Start the engine! Get it up! Get it up!”

I spotted the familiar form of Rainbow Dash perched on one of the floats; she had a fishing rod in her hooves and seemed to have something on the other end. But luckily, she decided to abandon her quarry and leapt into the cockpit. A few moments later, we heard the rotary engine fire and the propeller began to spin. The tribesponies were still behind us, still throwing spears.

As the plane revved up, Dash turned it into the wind and began to roll in preparation for take-off.

“Come on, Margaret!” Luna called out over the noise. “We shall have to fly to Rainbow! Jump up!”

I quickly leapt onto Luna’s back, a very strange sensation, and we took a short flight before landing on the floatplane. Daring got in the rear cockpit, Lizzie perched herself just behind the rudder, and Luna and I clung onto a float each.

Dash opened the throttles and we soon began to outrun the tribesponies. And with the idol in hoof, Daring and Lizzie were very pleased.

As we climbed into the air though, Daring got the shock of her life as Gummy, Pinkie Pie’s pet alligator jumped up from wherever he’d been hiding and clamped himself onto her trademark hat.

“Ah…there’s a big gator in the plane, Dash!” she exclaimed. Rainbow turned slightly and called back.

“Oh, yeah, that’s just Pinkie’s pet gator, Gummy. He wouldn’t hurt anypony.”

“I hate gators, Dash! I hate ‘em!” Daring yelled back irritably.

“Oh come on, show a little backbone will you, Daring,” Lizzie called out.

We banked away toward the setting sun, well away from angry tribesponies and evil rogue archaeologists working for the Griffons. With everything now much more relaxed, in spite of our somewhat perilous position riding on the floats, we began to chat.

“So, wait, this is all a dream?” Lizzie asked Luna. The blue alicorn nodded.

“Sorry, Lizzie, but you aren’t going off on adventures with Daring Do just yet,” I said.

“So you and Luna are real,” Lizzie said, pointing to both of us. “What about Dash?” Luna shook her head.

“No, that’s just a dream version of her conjured up by your mind,” Luna replied. “Here’s the real Rainbow Dash.”

Bringing her magic to life, Luna produced a sort of tear in the dream world, through it, we could all see Rainbow Dash. She was busy fighting changelings, as well as unsettling singing flowers. Perhaps she’d had some bad cheese or something?

As the plane came into land at a nearby port town, where Daring and Lizzie were planning to head back to civilisation from, Luna and I bade them farewell.

“Well, that was a bit of fun, Lizzie,” I said. Lizzie grinned.

“Next time,” Lizzie replied. “I get to crash your dream, right princess?” Luna smiled.

“Perhaps, young one,” she answered non committaly.

Jumping down off the floats and onto the nearby jetty, Luna powered up her magic again and returned up back to the dreamscape.

For the third time that night, I found myself n that strange, mystical realm that was neither completely a dream, nor entirely real. Luna described it once as ‘the world between the worlds’, a fitting description given the millions of dreams, all intricately detailed and remarkably real in their own way, that were connected to the dreamscape.

Standing on the semi-solid looking pathway, Luna led me down a long winding road, past dozens of doors, some of which were familiar to me, while most were just random doors whose owners I could only guess at. Eventually, we came upon two doors, both identical and very familiar. Luna gestured to them both.

“Care to take a guess at the owners of these doors?” she asked. I thought for a moment.

“Er, a couple?” I offered. I could think of few explanations for why a door would crop up twice. Luna nodded. “Mine and Roger’s dreams, right?” Again, she nodded.

“Indeed,” she replied. “It would be pointless, and quite possibly rather dangerous to open your door at present. But, while it is not long before my sister ushers in the dawn, I think we have time to visit one more dream.”

It would be rather interesting to see what Roger was dreaming about. I’ve known him for over twenty years, yes, but he is still a fairly private man at times. And he doesn’t seem to care much for talking about dreams. Every time I try to tell him about a funny or strange dream I had, he just rolls his eyes.

Casting her horn alight, Luna pushed open the door, revealing the same white void that marked the event horizon. We both stepped through.

And then, the world exploded.

Okay, it wasn’t literally the world, but I’m fairly certain that in real life my eardrums would have been blown out by the racket we stepped into. Luna and I found ourselves on some street somewhere. It was hard to see much of anything to get an idea of where, or when, we were. We were in some sort of side street or alleyway, and just ahead of us, there was some sort of battle raging. I could hear the sound of gunfire and explosions, as well as men shouting, some screaming in pain. Every now and then, the world was rocked by a larger explosion. It all seemed to so close.

Being a dream, I wouldn’t come to any harm. But your mind doesn’t really pause to think about that when there’s a real chance of you getting shot or blown up. Luckily, Luna put up a small shield around the both of us, as well as some sort of spell that made everything quiet again.

I’d thrown myself down on the floor and covered my ears with my hands. I was terrified, and understandably so. But when things went silent, I opened my eyes and got back to my feet. Luna was standing stock still, looking all around at the now seemingly silent dream through her light blue magical shield.

“What the hell is going on?” I asked as I looked around.

I picked out the odd familiar British street sign here and there, as well as a street name; Springfield road. Directly behind that sign was a pub, which bore the name ‘Kelly’s Bar’. Aside from that, all I could see through the smoke and debris was the odd tracer round and a couple burning cars. Luna turned to me, a look of concern on her features.

“Your husband is having a nightmare, Margaret,” she explained. “And quite a serious one too. I’m having trouble trying to disrupt its hold over him.” I noticed that Luna’s horn was glowing brightly; she was using her magic. Another explosion suddenly went off close by, actually impacting her shield.

“You are not in any danger, Margaret. But I think it would be best if I returned you to the waking world. Dawn is not too far off now. Once you are awake, you should be able to wake your husband up.” I nodded in understanding.

“Alright, Luna. Wake me up then,” I replied.

Luna’s horn began to glow even brighter, and the dream world around us briefly distorted, as if it was all a liquid. I then felt some force lift me off the ground, though Luna’s shield stayed with me. A moment or two later, everything went white, and I woke up with a start.

With a sharp gasp, I sat up in my bed. The first few rays of the early morning were streaming through our bedroom window, and it looked to be a pleasant day.

But pleasant was the last word I would use to describe Roger. He was thrashing around on his side of the bed. Sweat poured down his face and he was mumbling to himself, though I couldn’t understand what he was saying.

Luna was still fighting to dispel whatever in God’s name he was dreaming about, but as he showed no signs of calming down, which I would expect if she had succeeded. While she would eventually be able to stop the nightmare herself, I didn’t want to see Roger suffer any more torment. So I decided to wake him up myself, as Luna had suggested.

Grabbing him by the shoulders, I shook him roughly, as hard as I could; trying to give him a ‘kick’ as one certain movie called it. I found myself shouting at him to wake up as well. He kept rolling back and forth as I tried to keep a hold of him. Eventually though, the combined efforts of Luna and myself prevailed.

With a start, Roger woke up. His eyes went wide, and his pupils were almost the size of pinpricks. He let out a sharp cry as he sat up in bed, knocking the covers off onto the floor.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” I said soothingly, putting a hand on his back. “It’s okay, sweetheart; it was just a bad dream.”

Roger turned to look at me, his face still quite pale. He was breathing heavily, and the adrenaline hadn’t yet worn off. His hands were shaking. I did my best to calm him down for the next few minutes, and eventually, he settled down.

“I’m…I’m okay now, darling,” he said at length. Reaching over to his bedside table, he grabbed a half empty glass of water he’d put there last night. He drunk what was left down in one go before turning back to me.

“You’re lucky Luna and I found your dream when we did,” I said, hugging him.

“Luna?” he replied curiously. “And you?” I nodded.

“She dropped by and offered to take me on a little tour of the dreamscape. We were going to just drop in and say hello to you, but we soon realised that you were having a nightmare. Luna did her best to fight it off from within, and woke me up so I could wake you up just now.” I half chuckled at the silly sounding explanation. “What in Equestria were you dreaming about anyway? It looked like you were living through the bloody Somme!”

I’ve always felt that talking about something scary like that is the best way to deal with it. Roger though, doesn’t subscribe to that view.

“It was nothing,” he replied dismissively. “Just a bad dream, nothing for you to worry about.”

“Don’t give me that,” I replied worriedly. “You know how dreams work here. I didn’t see too much but I saw people shooting at each other and bombs going off. What the hell was it?” At this, Roger scowled.

“I said it was nothing. Now leave it!” he warned angrily.

I tried to wrap my arms around him and hug him, but he threw me off. He got out of bed and put his slippers on, before heading out the door into the hall.

“I’m…going for a walk,” he said quietly as he left. He then closed the bedroom door behind him. A few moments later, I heard the front door slam as well. From my bedroom window, I could see him walking off into town.

Well, that all went sideways real fast, I thought to myself.

Chapter 10 - Shopping Spree

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Roger came back an hour later. I was downstairs having my own late breakfast when he got in. He apologised for storming off in the way that he had, explaining that he’d been upset by the nightmare. I was tempted to ask him again precisely what I’d seen, but didn’t want to upset him all over again. If he wanted to tell me, he would, in time. He’d gone for a walk around Ponyville, and a few of the orchards on Sweet Apple Acres to clear his head, and was now, in addition to having the lower part of his dressing gown soaked in dew, hungry for some breakfast of his own. Luckily, there were still a couple of croissants left in the oven.

Today was Saturday, so neither of us had to be at work today. Roger said he was going to stay in today and have a lazy day to himself. Normally, he has an irritating habit of working on the weekends unless absolutely necessary. So it was nice to see him take a break for once.

As for me, I’d got some plans today. I was going to head up to Canterlot for a day trip, along with Lizzie and Milano. We were going to have a little shopping spree.

Canterlot, after all, is famous for its shopping district, particularly its clothes shops. I know for a fact Roger’s tailor has his shop up there. And while there were quite a few shops that I wanted to visit, there was one in particular.

About a week ago, Rarity had finalised her plans with the estate agent to buy a fairly large store up in Canterlot. Christened ‘Canterlot Boutique’ it was to be the Canterlot branch of what she hoped would become a franchise. Her store in Ponyville already had enough business as it was, and did very well too. But Canterlot, Equestria’s capitol and home of the rich and famous, was where the money was. Plus, it would help improve her career prospects no end. If she could get herself up and running in Canterlot, she could go on to be one of the biggest names in fashion here in Equestria.

Rarity had told me about her little plan around the time of the gala, but things had only recently gone through. The store had had its grand opening a few days ago, and Rarity had been temporarily living in the city to ensure a smooth start up, with the help of her newly recruited manager; one Sassy Saddles. She would look after the day to day running of the store, allowing Rarity to return to Ponyville.

Needless to say, as both my friend, and as a fashion designer, I was keen to see how things were going. Of course, I couldn’t really buy off the rack from her, but her commissions for me have been of the highest quality. Plus, it would be just a fun trip out for everyone concerned. Lizzie and I hadn’t had a day out together in ages. And Milano could certainly use some time away from her two boys.

After finishing up my own breakfast, and making peace with my husband, I went upstairs, got dressed, and headed out.

My first stop was Fluttershy’s little cottage on the border of the Everfree Forest. After that, I’d double back and head to Milano’s house here in town. With everypony together, we’d then go to the train station, catch the ten o’clock train up to Canterlot, have lunch when we got there, and then have a few hours of retail therapy. We’d then come back by the half past five train and get home in time for tea.

After being in Ponyville for more than a year, I know the town, and a good chunk of the area around it, like the back of my hand. Heading out toward the Everfree, I soon got to the little brook than ran in front of Fluttershy’s small, cosy looking home. Crossing over the connecting bridge, I walked up to the wooden front door and was about to knock, when I noticed somepony standing beside it.

I was startled by a sudden, dazzling flash of white light off to my right, and a moment later, I knew exactly who I was dealing with.

“Why, Margaret,” a familiar voice said. “How lovely to see you here. I haven’t seen you since that little soiree you threw three months back.” It sounded like a pleasant enough greeting, but when you realise that it’s Discord talking, you take it with a pinch of salt.

I did my best to avoid rolling my eyes as I turned to the crazy lunatic that my husband calls his best friend.

“Hello, Discord,” I replied calmly. “What brings you out this way?”

“Oh, me?” the draconequus asked, striking a pose. “Well, I’m just here to have my usual weekly afternoon tea with Fluttershy. Why, what brings you out from teaching those little hellspawns?”

“I only do that on weekdays, Discord,” I answered. “And they’re not all hellspawns. Heck, I figured you’d enjoy an environment as chaotic as a classroom.” I knocked on Fluttershy’s front door.

“Chaotic?” he repeated, with an offended air. “Pah, it’s no such thing. It’s the exact opposite of chaos.”

“Well,” I replied with a grin. “Coming from you, that’s a compliment.”

Discord turned and briefly sneered at me before Fluttershy opened the door. The moment she did, his whole demeanour changed. Gone was the semi-cynical, semi-evil, entirely crazy nutcase, and in his place was a perfectly polite and upstanding pillar of the community. If only he could be like that all the time.

“Oh, hello, Discord,” Fluttershy said softly as she opened the door. “Here for our weekly get together?” He nodded happily before scooping the little pegasus up in his arms and hugging her. When he released her, she turned to me.

“And I know you’re here to pick up Lizzie, Margaret,” she added. “She’s been looking forward to this trip up to Canterlot all week.”

“As have I,” Discord broke in. “Now kindly take your little flutter pony daughter away so Fluttershy and I can have our tea.”

Snapping his fingers, Lizzie suddenly appeared in front of me, dropping to the ground with a slight thud. Turning and spotting a grinning Discord she ground her teeth.

“Discord, if you wanted me to leave, you could have just asked,” she said irritably. Discord nodded.

“Yes, but this is quicker,” he countered. Lizzie snorted and turned to Fluttershy, who nodded in understanding.

“Discord, it isn’t nice to kick ponies out of their homes. Lizzie was going to go in a minute anyway. Next time, just be patient, alright?” Discord’s face fell, and he nodded in understanding. “Now apologise to Lizzie.”

“Oh, very well,” he sighed. “I’m sssssooo…” he was struggling.

“Sound it out,” I replied jokingly. Discord glared at me.

“Fine, I’m sorry. Will you please go now?” he asked exasperatedly. Lizzie grinned and getting up, picked up her saddlebags, which had also been teleported in with her, and trotted over to me.

“Okay, mam. I’m ready,” she declared. She then turned to Fluttershy. “I’ll see you around six, okay, Fluttershy? Bye, Discord.”

With that, we headed off to Milano’s.

Lizzie and I talked for a bit as we headed back into Ponyville. She effectively works two jobs at the moment; one for money, and one for the good of her own conscience. When needed, she works with Rainbow Dash and the rest of the team busting up clouds, setting up rainfall schedules, and, of course, takes part in tornado duty each year. But a fair chunk of her time is also spent helping Fluttershy look after her ‘animal friends’ as the butter yellow pegasus calls them. After all, that was the whole reason she ended up becoming a pegasus in the first place.

As it turned out she’d had quite a busy week.

“So, I’m holding station about a hundred yards away, right? Dash and Flitter are still pulling Thunderlane’s back legs to get him out of the cloud, he’s still swearing like a trooper for flying into the damn thing, and poor Derpy’s just standing on top of that storm cloud apologising for nearly hitting him with a bolt. And all the while this bloody great rain squall is bearing down on us. So it ended up with just me and Cloudchaser taking on a storm meant for a dozen ponies. We’re both thinking ‘we are so screwed’, when Dash finally gets Thunderlane free, he goes shooting across the sky, slams into the storms centre mass and bang, no more storm.”

Lizzie burst out laughing as she finished her story. Despite living with the sweet little animal caretaker, her life is anything but dull, certainly more exciting than mine usually is. Still, it did sound pretty funny, and I found myself laughing to. From what I understand, Thunderlane is supposed to be one of the best flyers in Ponyville, he went to the academy the same time Rainbow did after all. So, the idea of him getting stuck head first in a cloud was pretty comical.

“Well, as long as you don’t end up like that, I’ll be happy, Lizzie,” I replied. “He was alright in the end, wasn’t he?” Lizzie snorted.

“Please, the only thing that even got bruised was his ego. It just had to happen after he was boasting about how he was going to follow Dash and apply to the Wonderbolt Reserves. Ain’t karma a bitch?” I grinned and laughed at that before adding.

“Don’t use that kind of language, dear. It’s very crude.”

“Yes, mam,” Lizzie replied disinterestedly.

We were now coming up toward Milano’s house. Looking in one of the upstairs windows, I could see through the closed blinds the lights of a video game, evidently Button was having one of his weekend binges playing games.

Walking up to the door, I rapped on it with my knuckle.

“Milano! It’s me!” I called out. A moment later the door opened, and Milano stepped out.

She had, like Lizzie, got a couple of saddlebags on her back. I’ve always wondered about that. Why the hay do they have saddles never mind saddlebags in a world where nopony rides horses? Walking out my friend briefly hugged me in greeting.

“Hey, Margaret. Hi, Lizzie. You two ready to go to the station then?” I nodded.

“Yep, you sure Button’s going to be alright on his own for the day?” I asked half seriously.

“Yeah, he’ll be fine,” Milano replied, nodding. “I’ve left him some food in the fridge and he’ll be busy with his games all day. Gibson’s even better, literally, sometimes I think that all I do is feed ‘em, clothe ‘em, and let ‘em out to pee.” We all laughed at that. I then looked at my watch.

“Woah, hey, we better get a move on. The train will be here in ten minutes,” I warned.

We were soon at the small station that represented the last stop on the mainline before the terminus up at Canterlot. Roger was usually able to ride for free, as an employee of the Crown who had to travel for work, he had a travel pass instead of having to spend his wages on tickets every day. And I bet he’s glad for it, because a day return to Canterlot was bloody steep; ten bits each no less.

Still, we’d probably be spending a bit more than that today and it was a rare treat. We all soon had our tickets and went to wait on the platform. It wasn’t too busy, not many ponies travel from Ponyville to Canterlot, although there were one or two other ponies on the platform, including a guardsman that I happened to recognise.

“Hello there, Strong Shield!” I called out to the one eyed guardspony, catching his attention.

The unicorn (actually a friendly changeling, but shhh) walked over to the three of us. Lizzie and I knew him from both the Summer Sun Celebration and we were both there when he accidentally got found out. He’s now fairly good friends with Bones and has taught him a few tricks. He’s one of two friendly changelings I know of, the other being Charlie, except he’s a soldier rather than a drone, with intelligence on par with a pony. He’s still a guard, but due to his PTSD, or whatever ponies call it, he is now a senior instructor in Canterlot.

“Hello, Margaret,” the grizzled, one eyed guard said as he walked up. “Are you heading up to Canterlot too?”

“Yeah, the three of us are heading up there for a shopping spree,” I replied. I then turned to Milano. “Milano, this is Captain Strong Shield, a friend of my son’s. He helped him learn a bit about defensive magic.”

“That I did,” Strong Shield replied. “And I’m no longer embarrassed to admit it. Pleased to meet you, ma’am.” He touched the brim of his helmet in respect.

“So what brings you down here then?” I enquired nosily.

“Well this is my weekend off,” he explained. “So I figured I might come down and say hi to that rookie of yours. Kid’s come a long way since I first met him. But now I’m heading back to just take it easy for a day or two”

At that moment, we were interrupted by the train whistle, and the familiar bright pink of the Friendship Express came around the corner. It is, without a shadow of a doubt, the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen on train tracks, and I remember the days of BR. Still, it runs better than anything British Rail ever did, and it’s stopped by the odd leaf on the line.

When it came to a stop and the odd passenger had disembarked, the now four of us boarded together and settled down in the same carriage.

Trains are a bit of an issue for me in Equestria. Since ponies just sit on their hind quarters, they don’t need seats raised off the floor. Luckily though, there is plenty of headroom, so I can get by sitting Indian style, cross legged. But it isn’t exactly comfortable on a middle length journey.

Buy hey, it’s cheaper than back home, it’s on time, it’s well maintained and clean, and you don’t take your life in your hands when you use the loos. So, we all settled down for the ride up the mountain.

Lizzie, Milano, Strong Shield, and I all chatted amicably as the train rattled along at about fifty miles an hour. The old guardspony seemed glad for the company. I suppose that, given his situation, he can’t afford to risk being too friendly with other ponies. Still, he’s friends with us, Shining, and the princesses. Cadence most of all, respects him for his actions during the Royal Wedding.

We all grabbed some drinks off of the trolley that went up and down the train (another five bits gone) and before long, we were pulling into Canterlot station. I groaned slightly as I got to my feet, my back protesting the excess work. Luckily it soon passed and along with everypony else, I dismounted into the sprawling, glittering capitol.

Canterlot really is like something out of a fairy tale to me. Everything about it is just so fantastical and beautiful. It’s just such a shame that more than a decent chunk of the populace are stuck up, arrogant assholes.

Strong Shield bade the three of us farewell and headed up towards the castle that dominated the upper area of the city. We meanwhile, continued straight ahead toward the large shopping district.

But before all that got started, we all fancied some lunch. It had been a fair while since breakfast and I was starting to feel a bit hungry. So, we began to wander around looking for somewhere to eat. The trouble is though, that Canterlot, being the bed of the nobility, prides itself on everything fanciful. Most restaurants, while worthy of Michelin stars and a spot on MasterChef, weren’t exactly filling. Plus, according to Lizzie, who’d heard it from Bones, who’d heard it from Pinkie Pie, most of the food was bland and virtually inedible.

So we wandered, past what seemed like almost identical restaurants, all supposedly granted prestigious awards for their dishes. I guess it’s just an acquired taste. Eventually though, while walking down a small side street, I picked up the scent of something more palatable.

“I smell Indian!” I declared happily. “Lizzie, can you smell it?” Lizzie paused in her step and sniffed the air a moment.

“Yeah, I can!” she replied excitedly. “I didn’t think ponies did Indian food. C’mon, let’s go find the place!” Milano too, had picked up on the scent.

“Mmm, that does smell good. What is it though?” she asked.

“Curries, Balti, Rogan Josh, Masala, Korma, Bombay Allu potatoes, all sorts of spicy stuff,” I explained. “We all used to get a take out of the stuff every once in a while. It’ll kill any diet you’re on, but it tastes great. And if it’s anything like a Balti house back on Earth, it should be a great place for lunch.”

With Lizzie leading; as a pony she had the better nose, we set off in search of a decent curry.

Before long we found what we were searching for. It was indeed a proper curry house, lavishly decorated and with the strong spell of God knows how many spices coming from within. The three of us quickly headed up the steps and through the front door. Much to my surprise, the place was quiet. With that smell carrying for miles, I would have expected half of Canterlot to coming here. But it seemed we were the only customers. The only sound to be heard, apart from sizzling pans, was some sitar music being piped in from somewhere.

“Er, hello?” I called out curiously.

A moment later, there was a sudden clanging of pots and pans, and a few shouted words in a foreign tongue, though it sounded very much like Punjabi. And a second or two later, an orange coated, purple maned unicorn mare came trotting out. This being Canterlot, she was dressed up a bit, with a yellowish shirt with purple trim, and a red bandanna type scarf around her neck.

“Hello, welcome!” the mare greeted excitedly, with a noticeable, though not unpleasant, Indian accent. She certainly didn’t sound as if she was from Microsoft Technical Support.

“Hi there,” I replied. “Could we have a table for three please?” The mare nodded and gestured for us to follow her deeper into the restaurant.

We were settled in at a fairly large table. The mare was even kind enough to replace my chair, which while suited for ponies, didn’t quite fit me, with a large cushion, which was more than suitable. She then gave us a menu each before briefly heading back to the kitchen to bring us a plate of poppadoms and dips.

Lizzie and I quickly picked out what we wanted. Milano on the other hand, who’d never set hoof in an Indian restaurant, was a bit thrown by the bewildering choice of food on offer. With some coaxing, we convinced her to try a vegetable korma; a mild dish that was always a safe bet. Just as we came to an agreement, the mare came back out form the kitchen.

“Hello, again,” she said. “My name is Saffron Masala. What can I get for you three today?” We each put our orders in, as well as getting a large bowl of pilau rice and some naan bread to share.

By the time we’d finished, we were all damn near full to bursting. The stuff was just as good as it had been on Earth, albeit without any of the meat dishes. Milano seemed to enjoy it too, overcoming her slight hesitancy around the same time she took her first bite. Saffron was also very glad of the business. Apparently, they’d set up shop not too long ago, but were still struggling to get off the ground. Canterlot ponies seemingly wouldn’t go anywhere unless it had three horseshoes on the door.

Saffron showed me an article about this big important food critic, and my korma nearly came back. The pale, white mare looked like something out of Alien vs Predator. I knew for a fact I wouldn’t be taking culinary advice from…whatever the hell she was (I don’t care what anypony says, unless she has a genetic test done, there’s no way I’m admitting that she’s a pony).

We paid our dues and thanking Saffron and her father for the meal, heading back out into Canterlot. Our next stop was Rarity’s newly opened Canterlot Boutique.

Heading back out the way we had come, we made our way back toward one of the main thoroughfares through the city. Rarity’s new store was in quite a prestigious spot, not too far from the castle.

We soon found ourselves in the fashion district, if you want to call it that, a sort of concentration of clothing stores. We passed one small shop where I recognised the name; Elusive’s. He’s Roger tailor and has made up a couple of suits for and regularly does repairs for him too. Like Rarity, he is extremely gifted in his craft, although his talent lies with stallion’s fashion than mares.

Rounding a corner, we found ourselves a little ways in front of Rarity’s new store. There was just one small problem. There was a great sodding queue outside. I’m not kidding, there had to be the better part of a hundred ponies trying to get in. I guess Rarity’s business really had boomed.

“Bloody hell!” I exclaimed. “Looks like Rarity’s doing well for herself.” Lizzie nodded in agreement.

“Do you two want to try somewhere else first and come back when the crowd dies down?” Milano suggested.

“I don’t think this crowd’s going to go anywhere,” Lizzie replied. “Besides, we’ve still got plenty of time. And you know how great a designer Rarity is.” Fair point, I thought to myself.

So, we spent the next half hour or so queuing to get inside. Lizzie and Milano took the opportunity to lie down on the pavement to let their lunch go down. Eventually, after the better part of forty five minutes, we got in through the door.

The place was much larger than Carousel Boutique back in Ponyville, but the décor wasn’t too dissimilar. All around, well to do ponies were milling around or going to the counter to pick up their orders. To my surprise, I saw no sign of Rarity at all. Then I remembered that she’d hired somepony to act as manager to help with running the shop. I figured she would be in back, working on her newest designs. I’d heard about her recent flagship pieces; dresses based on the style and personality of each of the princesses.

But as I looked around, I realised something was off. In Carousel Boutique, you will find many dresses and different designs, but it’s a damn rare thing you’ll find two that are identical. This new store though, everywhere I looked, seemed to be stocked to the gills with just one design. If I remember rightly, it was the one based on Twilight’s stained glass window in the castle, and dedicated to her. Still, they seemed to be selling like hotcakes. I just never pegged Rarity as the type to mass produce anything. I looked to Lizzie and Milano, and they both had the same questioning look on their faces. We were about to proceed further into the shop, when we were jumped by Sassy Saddles.

“Hello, and Welcome to Rarity’s Canterlot Boutique,” she said with just a bit too much flair. “Can I interest you three in one of our famous Princess dresses?” With her magic, she levitated the same dress we’d seen all over in front of us.

Now, the alterations I’d need aside, I couldn’t help but see it as a bit bland if I’m honest. It was nice, but it was lacking something somehow, and by the looks of their own expressions, Lizzie and Milano agreed.

“Can we see some of Rarity’s other designs?” Lizzie asked curiously. Sassy Saddles looked perturbed.

“But this is the bestselling dress in the entire store!” she replied. “Our marketing surveys showed that this design is most popular with customers.”

Okay, marketing surveys? Since when did Rarity rely on marketing surveys, or make one design ad nauseum? Something was off here.

“That may be so, but we have particular, individual tastes,” I replied evenly. “Could we perhaps see Rarity for a moment?” The seemed to rattle Sassy even more, she even seemed offended.

“Oh, Rarity is far too busy working on new Princess dresses right now, I’m afraid. She asked me to deal with the clientele.” Did she now?

“I’m not looking to see her in a professional capacity,” I said carefully. “She and I are good friends.” Sassy laughed a false laugh.

“Of course you are, dear,” she replied sarcastically. I needed some vodka to throw in this cow’s face.

Luckily, before that could happen, a very tired looking Rarity trotted out.

“It’s alright, Ms. Saddles,” she said. “I’m more than happy to see them.” Sassy turned to Rarity.

“Rarity, please. You need to keep working on your next batch of dresses.” Just who did this cow think she was ordering her boss around like that? Unwilling to endure her company any longer, I simply pushed my way past her and, with Lizzie and Milano following, went to the back of the store with Rarity.

The white coated unicorn led us to her work room. The place was like a miniature assembly line. On one side were boxes of identical material, and on the other identical dresses. It was like sodding Bangladesh! The poor mare was stuck in here all day long making the same dresses because that snooty cow out front told her they’d sell. We all did our best to offer advice.

“Rarity,” I said. “I’ve never known you to make the same design twice. Every dress you’ve ever made me, or anypony else, has been unique. That’s what makes you a great designer.” Rarity sighed.

“That may be true in little old Ponyville, Margaret,” Rarity replied. “But here in Canterlot, you have to go with the flow if you want to succeed.”

“Screw the flow!” Lizzie jumped in. “If we’d just gone with the flow, when we went for lunch we’d have eaten that inedible rubbish, instead of finding that little Indian place. Your ability to make dozens of brilliant designs is what sets you apart from the crowd.”

“Besides,” I added. “Haven’t you seen how that Sassy Saddles is acting; she’s walking around like she’s the boss!” I paused, realising I was ranting.

“Sorry, Rarity,” I went on, my voice a lot calmer. “But, it’s just that, this doesn’t seem like you.” Rarity sighed again.

“Oh, believe me, I know, darling,” she replied dourly. “This work is driving me to distraction. If this is what it is to succeed in Canterlot, then I don’t want to succeed.”

Kneeling down a little, I hugged the poor mare, with Lizzie and Milano joining me in an attempt to make her feel better.

“You can succeed here, Rarity,” I encouraged. “You’ve just got to try things a different way. Don’t just mimic what everypony else is doing. Ponies came from here to Ponyville to visit your boutique. I’m sure they’ll appreciate having your kind of store closer to home.” Lizzie and Milano nodded in agreement.

“Thank you for that, you three,” Rarity said, smiling now. “You’ve given me a lot to think about. Anyway, I hope this hasn’t put a downer on your little expedition.” I smiled back.

“I may not be inclined to get myself one of those Princess dresses, Rarity,” I answered. “But it’s good to see you at least have lots of business. And I’m sure that I’ll be back up here at some point.” I hugged her again.

“I suppose we ought to be on our way, and leave you to your work now,” I said. “Here’s hoping everything goes well for you. Though if I were you, I’d think about hiring somepony else to run this place.”

After saying our goodbyes, the three of us left Rarity to her work. I really hoped she would change the way things were going. She’d said it herself; yes, her business was doing well, but at what cost to her character? I ignored Sassy request to come back soon.

We spent the rest of the day heading around a few of the other clothes shops in Canterlot. We all had quite the little spree, although of course, my orders would take a bit longer, so it was only Lizzie and Milano who were overloaded with bags by the time we made our way back down to the station.

We got back to Ponyville just before six. We all agreed we’d had a fun time and enjoyed ourselves. But our thoughts were also with Rarity, hoping that she would find her feet in the city.

Well, the next day, we found that matters had come to a head. Fed up with making identical dresses, Rarity had decided to close down, and had Sassy set up a sale for it to get rid of the old stock. But much to her surprise, customers kept streaming in. Even better, they began to turn their attention away from those Princess dresses, and to some of Rarity’s original designs.

Rarity soon found herself swamped with orders for all kinds of different designs, just as she had in Ponyville. That convinced Sassy to come around to her way of thinking. The Princess line was promptly discontinued and before long, Canterlot Boutique was just as unique and diverse as its Ponyville forbearer. The shop quickly took off properly, to both mares delight. And with the business now running on a way that suited both Rarity’s s and her values, she was happy to leave Sassy Saddles in charge as manager, while she would continue her work from Ponyville.

I actually went up there myself not too long ago. It was like a completely different shop, and I found myself putting in more than the odd order.

Still, that queue was still bloody massive.

Chapter 11 - How to Land a Type 40 TARDIS (and Other Vital Skills for the Modern Pony)

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“And therefore,” I said, still writing on the chalkboard. “We see that r equals r-d-r squared.” It had been a bit boring for the kids sitting through a maths lesson focused on algebra, so I’d decided to at least try and inject a little bit of fun. Sadly, while none of the kids were particularly dim, I only heard one or two laughs from the group of students sitting behind me.

Turning around, I quickly realised that the only one who seemed to have cottoned on to my little attempt at humour, was Dinky.

Ah, yes, little Dinky Hooves. Without a doubt, the little unicorn filly is the smartest pony in my class, and is probably one of the smartest foals in all of Equestria. Her test scores are routinely up in the nineties and she certainly seems on track to one day head up to Canterlot and attend Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.

She excels in most of my lessons, but maths and science seem to be her particular forte. She picks up concepts at a remarkable rate and is routinely leaps and bounds ahead of a few other students. Heck, she even sometimes helps some of the other foals when they’re struggling.

Mind you, she’s not conceited about it or anything. Like her mother, Derpy, she has quite a humble personality. And while her thirst for knowledge may appear endless, she doesn’t take praise about her gifts too well. I remember last parents evening, she was blushing furiously when I told how well she was doing. So she isn’t too much of a problem in class. The only real issue is that sometimes, her intelligence outstrips even my own or Cheerilee’s.

Of course, there is an explanation to all of this; genetics. Dinky is predisposed to be unusually intelligent, a consequence of her father’s side. You see, a year or so ago, when we were studying pony biology, and I was trying to teach the kids about the equine heart, we discovered something interesting about Dinky.

She has two hearts.

Further examination by Nurse Redheart at Ponyville’s hospital also revealed a complete binary vascular system, the ability for her to regulate her own body temperature and about half a dozen other things that shouldn’t present in a normal unicorn filly, even if she was the result of a union between two pegasi as Derpy initially claimed.

In actuality, as my son and Twilight discovered, Dinky was sired by Time Turner, the only other pony in town who boasts such characteristics. And according to my son, genetically speaking, Dinky is half equine, and half Timelord.

So there, I have a Timelord in my class. That was new one.

Cheerilee and I have done our best to accommodate and challenge her as best we can, something which has become a bit easier since Twilight started helping out with magic lessons. The little purple polymath is one of the few ponies that can keep up with her when she’s going at full chaff. But you could be sure that, if only one pony was going to understand your lesson, it would be Dinky.

I turned around and smiled at the little blueish grey unicorn, who was still giggling a little at the answer.

“I see you worked that out, Dinky,” I said kindly while a few other foals looked at her curiously. Diamond Tiara groaned in annoyance.

“Who cares? A stupid math problem can’t be funny!” she complained, before adding. “No matter what this blank flank thinks.” I did my best to suppress a sigh. Just when I though she could keep her gob shut for a whole day. I was about to tell her off when Dinky jumped in.

“What, don’t you get it?” she asked with an innocent curiosity. Unlike the Crusaders, Diamond’s insults seem to run off her like water off a duck’s back. “The answer is r-d-r squared, or r-d-r-r; har dee har har?” I had to admit, I enjoyed the confused look on Diamond’s face.

But I more enjoyed what happened next.

“Oh, now I get it,” piped up Featherweight, sitting a couple rows back. He began to giggle himself. It’s always nice when Dinky helps some of the others get through a problem. Diamond Tiara just folded her forelegs and blushed in embarrassment.

I was about to finish up the lesson when the bell rang signalling the end of the day.

“Right, on that high note, I’ll see you all tomorrow,” I said

The foals all began to file out. As much as they like me and Cheerilee, we have to accept that they like being as far away from school as possible even more.

It was just me at school today; Cheerilee had come down with a rather nasty cold and was laid up in bed trying to fight it off. So I’d had to look after things all day long. It certainly gave me an appreciation for how hard she worked before I came along.

And I wasn’t finished yet either. After stacking all the chairs, putting everything away, locking the schoolhouse up, and everything else that needed doing, I still had to run an errand or two. I’d bumped into Time Turner yesterday, and he’d told me that he’d finally fixed my kitchen clock. So I needed to drop by his shop today and pick it up.

I like Time Turner; he’s a friendly enough guy I suppose and good at what he does. My only qualm with him is that he’s never admitted to Dinky who he is. As far as the little filly knows, her father is Derpy’s ex, who skipped town before she was born. That’s what Derpy has told her anyway. However, since her ‘condition’ was discovered, she has been spending more and more time with the old clockmaker. He’s probably the only pony who can really tax her mind. He even teaches her a little bit from time to time.

As I left the schoolhouse, I saw Dinky not too far off with her mother, walking in the direction of the market.

“Hello there, Derpy,” I called out, catching her attention. Derpy and I get on pretty well and I see her most days when she’s on her mail route.

“Oh, hey there, Margaret,” Derpy replied, turning around. “Busy day?” I smiled.

“Not too bad,” I replied. “Though your little prodigy still gives me the run around. You pair heading into town too?” Derpy nodded.

“I’ve got to cover somepony else’s route this afternoon, so I asked Time Turner if he wouldn’t mind looking after Dinky. I’m just going to drop her off at his shop for an hour or so.” She took on a slightly pained look. She doesn’t like leaving the poor filly on her own.

“It’s okay, Mommy,” Dinky said as she trotted alongside. “I like helping Mr. Time Turner at his shop. He’s really nice, and he knows loads of stuff about physics too.” She practically jumped up in the air in excitement.

“Well there’s a coincidence,” I added kindly. “I’m heading that way myself. I need to pick up my old clock that he’s been working on.”

The three of us walked into town, chatting amicably. Before long we came upon Time Turner’s store.

As a rule, Time Turner’s store is fairly quiet. Business for him tends to be a trickle rather than a flood. Still, he does well enough to get by, and conduct the various experiments he always seems to be tinkering with. I think he spends more time in his back rooms and basement than he does at the front of the shop, that’s for sure.

As the three of us walked in, we found the front desk deserted. But while we heard the normal sounds of almost a hundred clocks all steadily ticking away, we also heard the sound of voices from somewhere in the back. Derpy and I looked to one another in confusion. Judging by the tone and volume, Time Turner was arguing with somepony.

“Er, Time Turner?” Derpy called out. “I’ve brought Dinky with me.” At that moment, Time Turner emerged, closely followed by my son, Blade Star. It seemed that it was he who was arguing with the twelve hundred year old Timelord.

“And Ah’m tellin’ you, ya old goat, that there’s no way you can focus the energy matrix and maintain cohesion. If you lose the resonance frequency half way, you’ll lose her forever!”

“And I’m telling you, Bones, that I’m more than capable of such a trifle. Trust me, it’ll work!” Bones threw up his front hooves in despair.

“Fine,” he exclaimed. “Your time machine. Just don’t blame me when the atom accelerator loses sync and jams the transverse valve open!” Seeing Dinky shrink back from the arguing pair, I stepped in to rein in my boy.

“Alright you two, pipe down!” I ordered. To my surprise, both stallions actually did shut up. “Now what’s going on here?” Bones rolled his eyes.

“Time Turner here,” he said, pointed at the chestnut earth pony. “Wants to try and get his ship back. Trouble is he needs more than one pony to do it. Only he won’t admit it.”

“Well, it’s not like there’s that many ponies qualified now, is there?” Time Turner shot back. It became clear that they were just going to start up again.

“Hey, pack it in!” I barked again. “You’re going to get nowhere yelling, and you’re upsetting Dinky.” At this, the pair both took on an ashamed look. Time Turner scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. He sighed.

“Why don’t you three come on back? It’ll be easier to show you, rather than explain it.”

The three of us, along with a now less argumentative Bones, followed him to the back of the shop.

Aside from the usual clock making and repairing miscellany, Time Turner’s store was filled with test tubes, machines, and even something that resembled an old computer. In one corner though, there were a series of consoles and what looked like some sort of space age ray gun.

“Right, Margaret,” he said. “I’m sure you remember that I have a ship.” I nodded.

“Your TARDIS, right?” He smiled.

“Yes, my TARDIS.”

I thought for a moment. When I’d found out about Dinky, I’d also learned from Derpy how Time Turner had gotten here. She’d nearly hit the TARDIS when it materialised in mid-air before it crashed. She landed herself to see what it was. Time Turner had come out, evidently still in the throes of a regeneration cycle. About a minute or so later, the strange blue box had vanished. But instead of dematerialising, it had simply vanished in what sounded like a teleport.

Time Turner explained his ship’s predicament.

“You see,” he said, with the air of a professor. “In this universe, time is structured somewhat differently. It doesn’t like it when somepony tries to travel through it the wrong way, or too quickly. At best, magic allows a pony to appear in another time for a few minutes before they are sent back to their point of origin.

“But with the TARDIS, well, it has no point of origin. Originally, I thought it had been sent ahead in time, but I’ve now picked it up in half a dozen time periods. So it’s actually just stuck in the time vortex, briefly materialising all over the shop.” I nodded in vague understanding, while Dinky seemed greatly interested.

“Well, it isn’t safe to let the poor thing go gallivanting around out of control like that. So I came up with a plan. I’d create a rudimentary atron tractor to grab the TARDIS and keep it tethered here.”

“Erm, ‘atron tractor’?” I asked. Dinky suddenly spoke up.

“Atron energy is a form of benign energy found in the time vortex. It can also be emitted in small quantities by Timelords. When focused and directed toward a TARDIS in flight, it creates a flux in the lateral energy matrix and overloads the atron attractor mechanism, essentially stopping any kind of travel and holding the ship in place.”

We were all taken aback and stared at the little filly in bewilderment.

“Dinky,” Time Turner said at length. “How did you know that?” The unicorn shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know, I just sort of remembered it,” she replied, sounding unconcerned. Time Turner seemed puzzled.

“Dinky, how much power reserve does a TARDIS need to take off?” he asked.

“About ten percent, unless the ship’s running on zero power mode or outside reality,” she replied almost immediately.

“And how does the dimensional transducer form the initial vortex entry beam during dematerialisation?”

“The molecular converter translates the signal into an atron sphere from the main power source.” This was too much for poor Derpy.

“Okay, time out!” she exclaimed. “How in the name of Celestia does she know all that?!” Time Turner thought for a moment.

“It’s probably a result of the meta-crisis,” he suggested. “She didn’t just get Timelord DNA, but a mind to go with it. It would certainly explain her above average intelligence.” At this point, Bones broke in again.

“Well hang on then,” he said. “If Dinky here knows how a TARDIS works, couldn’t she help out?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“That’s what Time Turner and me were arguin’ ‘bout. He wanted to try and latch onto the TARDIS and do most of the flyin’ himself. Ah can do some of the work for him, but not too much. Ah figured it would be too much work and too dangerous. But if Dinky could help out…” Time Turner joined in, nodding.

“She could look after rematerializing the TARDIS, you could help out with the remote piloting, and I could focus on maintaining the atron tractor until she lands. I love it! C’mon, Dinky, time for your driving test!” Derpy fluttered in front of Time Turner before he could go though.

“Oh no you don’t, mister!” she warned him, poking him in the chest with a hoof. “My little filly isn’t doing anything until I’m sure it’s safe.” Time Turner smiled.

“Dinky will be in no danger, Derpy, I promise. The only one who’s sticking his neck out is me. All she has to do is land it with the remote control I’ve rigged up. C’mon you know me, I’d never put her in danger.” Derpy thought. Turning to Dinky, she found the filly looking up at her hopefully, with a puppy eyes expression on her face

“Fine, she can help you,” she eventually decided. “But I’m coming too!” Bones smiled at the pegasus’ attempt to be intimidating.

“And I’m not going to miss this for the world. Plus I want that clock of mine back off you when you’re done, Time Turner,” I added.

With that, all five of us headed over to the small work station Time Turner had set up

“Right,” Time Turner said as he took his position at the odd ray gun type contraption. “I’ll look after powering the tractor from here. The beam should shoot out into that corner, and that’s where the TARDIS should materialise. Bones, you look after the space/time throttle and the flight controls. And Dinky, you’ll be in charge of the rematerialisation process once Bones has manoeuvred her into the path of the tractor. Everypony understand?”

Bones and Dinky nodded, with my son grinning like a lunatic. Then again, who wouldn’t if they were given the opportunity to ‘fly’ a TARDIS? Bones trotted over to a console on the right of Time Turner’s atron contraption, which was covered in levers, buttons, and flashing lights. Dinky meanwhile, took her station on his left, with what looked like a cobbled together collection of gear sticks from cars, and a miniature version of the up and down thingamabob that is in the middle of a TARDIS console.

“Okay, Ah’m ready whenever you are, Doc,” Bones said, now becoming more serious.

“What about you, Dinky?” Time Turner asked. The little filly nodded as she stared intently at some display or other.

“Okay then, let’s get this show on the road,” Time Turner declared. “Have you got a fix on her, Bones?”

“Ah think so,” Bones replied. “It looks like she’s back in the vortex for now. Ah’ve got the remote uplink set up and runnin’ too. Ah’ll yell to Dinky when it’s safe to bring her in for a landin’.”

“Let’s try it, then,” Time Turner said, tensing up slightly. “I’ll start the tractor when you begin the approach.” Bones smiled and took hold of a large level in his hoof.

“If Ah may?” he asked, grinning again. Time Turner rolled his eyes.

“Fine. But just this once.” Bones grinned and threw the switch with a clunk.

“Allons-y!” he exclaimed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rqz_JyAUZyg

With a sudden thud, the panels all lit up. Dinky’s miniature console now had its central thingamajig start going up and down and it began to hum. As for Time Turner, he took to playing his part.

Placing a hoof on his little science project, he smiled as it suddenly began to light up and glow with a yellow light. That would be his innate atron energy going in. I saw him grit his teeth a little as the thing powered up. A moment later, a bright yellow beam of energy shot out toward the far wall, forming a large sphere as it impacted.

“Alright!” he yelled out, for the noise it was making was fairly deafening, and that was without the gale force winds that were now blowing through the shop. “The tractor is up and running; bring her in, Bones!”

My son was now all but dancing around his own console, throwing a switch here, pulling another there. But his main concern seemed to be a switch that resembled the throttle on a railway locomotive. He was constantly making adjustments as he consulted one of the large screens.

“Okay, Ah’ve got the coordinates locked in now!” he replied. “It’s hard to keep her stable; she’s not taking to this vortex too well!” he suddenly bolted over to another lever and feathered it somewhat. “Argh, come on, girl; stay with me!”

“Oy, don’t you go taxing her. Use the flight stabilisers!” Time Turner barked.

“Well if somepony had bothered to recalibrate 'em once in a while, maybe Ah could!” Bones shot back. All of a sudden a shrill bell went off and a series of red lights lit up on the console.

“Okay!” Bones called out. “She’s zeroed in on the landing coordinates. Ah’m slowing her down. Dinky, it’s time to do your thing!” Dinky had been following everything very closely so far and seemed ready for the challenge.

“I’m ready, Mr. Star,” she called back. “Set the space/time throttle to idle now and let it coast on momentum.” Bones brought one of the levers back to its zero position.

“Now invert the atom accelerator for physical flight.” Another switch was thrown.

“Okay, now set the power drives to full output, and get ready to begin reverse braking.” Bones threw two more levers.

Another bell went off, this time an ominous tolling of a great old church bell, and Bones’ console began to spark and short furiously.

“Ah, no, no, no!” Bones exclaimed. “Don’t do that!” The console continued to blow up in places.

“Dinky!” Time Turner called out. “You’ll have to rematerialize her manually! If we leave it up to the flight computer it could cause a catastrophic vortex exit. And I don’t want to see what that looks like!”

Dinky promptly set to work and, like Bones, began darting around her own console. I soon began to hear the recognisable screeching of a ship in flight. A light began to appear in the centre of the tractor beam Time Turner had formed.

“I don’t mean to pressure you, Dinky!” Bones called out. “But I think we have about fifteen seconds before the central circuitry overloads and she breaks out of the vortex. You need to rematerialize her now!”

Time Turner too was struggling. He was visibly sweating from the exertion of keeping the tractor going. Finally though, Dinky was ready and pulled a large handbrake type lever.

“Okay, Mr. Star. Full reverse power. Now!” Bones opened the taps, there was a final bang and shower of sparks, but the tolling of bells stopped.

The familiar screeching grew louder and slowly, a 1950’s police box began to phase into existence. Bones and Dinky briefly stepped away from their consoles to watch it land. Finally, with one last shudder, the ship landed, safe and sound in the beam.

Time Turner collapsed where he was from exhaustion, and the system shut down. The wind died down, as did the noticeable heat. A couple of the consoles were shorted out and some of the screens had ‘error’ messages on them, but the ship had landed. And judging by the way the old Timelord was smiling, it had worked.

Derpy and I merely stood there in amazement. Our respective children had just helped land the single most complicated machine ever created, and it hadn’t ended in some huge catastrophe. There right before us, was a real life genuine TARDIS. My son would also argue that, being a knackered old Type 40, a veritable museum piece, with far too many miles on the clock, and one not so careful owner, it was even harder than it otherwise would have been. Still, he and Dinky too seemed somewhat taken aback at the sight of the battered old police box.

“Hello, sexy,” Bones said, grinning at the big blue box. That got him a smack on the back of his head, courtesy of Time Turner.

“Hey, only I get to call her that!” he reprimanded. I couldn’t help but giggle at that.

Walking over to the still smouldering console again, Bones threw one last switch, and the panel went dark.

“There,” he said, with a hint of pride. “Finished with main engines. As long as the atron tractor holds up, the TARDIS should stay where she is and when she is.” Dinky too was quickly shutting down her side of things, and presumably transferring control back to the ship’s own consoles.

Time Turner meanwhile was standing just in front of the large wooden doors, a look of pure happiness on his face. It’s a well-established fact that he’s always cared for the old girl, and the idea of losing her must have been a terrible blow to him. But by the same token, this reunion was a source of great joy for him.

Trotting over to a small desk on the opposite side of the room, he fished out what looked like an ordinary brass key. The sort of thing you might use to get into your house if it had a deadbolt on. Walking up to the doors of the blue box, he inserted the key in the lock. It fitted perfectly, and a quick turn unlocked the ship without trouble. We’d have been stuffed if it hadn’t; as I understand it, the outer shell of a TARDIS, even a clapped out one like this example of the breed, was virtually indestructible.

With a smile on his face, he threw open the double doors. He couldn’t do his little Discord-esque trick of snapping his fingers, since he had none at present, to open them. Inside, it was all familiar to us. For Time Turner, he’d seen it day in day out for centuries. To me and Bones, it was a well-known sight on our TV screens. To Derpy, she’d briefly been inside when the ship first crashed here. As for Dinky, she seemed to show some familiarity, even though she’d never been inside before; something I put down to the same reason she knows how to fly it in the first place.

The interior was familiar to me and just as I remembered it, a strange mish mash of recognisable things, and that which seemed completely and utterly alien. It was well lit, with a warm glow to it all, though tinged green slightly by the large piston like structure that dominated the centre of the control room. The console was on a slightly raised platform, with steps leading to other chambers in the ship. Time Turner hurried forward and placed his hooves on the controls.

“Oh, it’s so good to be home!” he exclaimed. He then began to fiddle with the controls and examined the large screen that was just ahead of him.

“Well, it looks like she’s none the worse for wear,” he said after a few moments. “A couple scratches here and there but nothing she can’t fix herself. Fuel’s alright, I guess the ‘magic’ of this world is keeping her going. Yep, she’s good. As long as she stays in this spot, she’s good. Though just to be safe, I’ll keep her locked up when I’m not inside.”

“Glad to hear it Time Turner,” I said kindly. He turned back around to face the four of us, who were all still standing just inside the doorway. Time Turner blinked a couple of times.

“Oh, er, and thank you, you four for helping out,” he added sheepishly. “You’re all welcome to take a look inside any time. Especially you, Dinky.”

He then dived down under the console into a small storage area and began rooting around. A moment later, he returned with a book in his mouth. Placing it down on the floor, he pushed it across to Dinky.

“Here, a little bit of light reading for you,” he said, a paternal note in his voice.

The book bore the title of ‘TARDIS – Type 40 – Owner’s Manual’, and was about the size of a university textbook. Dinky quickly picked it up in her magic and began to flick through the pages with great interest.

“Okay, I think that’s enough adventure for you today, muffin,” Derpy said to her daughter, nudging her with a wing. “I’ve got to go and help out at work, but I want you to promise me you won’t try any more experiments with Time Turner until I get back, okay?”

The little filly pouted for a moment, before nodding in agreement. Derpy exchanged a few words with Time Turner and then walked back out into the store, and from there went outside and took off into the sky.

I meanwhile, stayed with Bones, Time Turner, and Dinky a little while longer. I mean, how many chances to you get to look inside a real life alien space ship, and one that travels through time at that!

I stayed for a while, looking around Time Turner’s strange, fantastical, and arguably living time machine. It really was quite remarkable; it had to be almost the size of the Louvre inside. Bones too stayed for a while, helping Time Turner run a few checks on the ship. After all, it had been floating around in the vortex, effectively out of control, for the better part of eight years.

It really was quite a funny story really. When he’d set up shop here in Ponyville, Time Turner’s first priority had been to recover his missing ship. After constructing a rudimentary scanner, he’d searched for and found the TARDIS. It was about twenty five years into the future.

Satisfied that his ship would be safe there until he ‘caught up’ with it, he decided to settle in to what was planned as a sort of temporary retirement, opening up a shop in Ponyville to keep his experiments a secret. After all, the sort of stuff he was working on, he thought, was too advanced for the ponies. In that time though, Derpy, who’d initially helped him recover and find his feet in Equestria, also gave birth to his daughter, Dinky. He’d been her shoulder to cry on when her ex left and, as Derpy put it, ‘things just kind of got away from them’. Hence how I now have a half-pony half-Timelord in my class.

That was how things had gone for several years. Certain that Twilight and her friends could deal with any problems that came up, Time Turner kept his head down and lived a quiet life. It wasn’t until a couple of months ago, when, finding himself wistful, he searched for the TARDIS again. To his surprise, it wasn’t there anymore. That was when he realised it was drifting, and came up with a plan to snare her.

As for how Bones had ended up in the matter, well, in addition to being a fan of the show that took its inspiration from this world, he was also a fan of a very long running show about a fruitcake in a little blue box. Due to a case of having too much free time, he’d picked up a few things about how the TARDIS worked, to the point where he was semi-competent, and actually quite useful.

Hence how, on one sunny afternoon, a Timelord, a half Timelord, a pegasus, a unicorn, and myself all found themselves in the back room of a clock repair shop trying to land a time machine.

Who says chatting with mums after school leads nowhere?

Chapter 12 - Bob

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As I walked out into the schoolyard and warm sunlight just after three, I found the usual group of parents and guardians gathered outside. With the bell still ringing shrilly, the foals all scampered off to their families. As a teacher, you naturally get to know pretty much all the parents, and a fair bit of the local gossip too. At this point, I know pretty much all of them by sight and could rattle off a few little facts and the odd rumour about each.

However, today there was an exception. Typically, Apple Bloom gets picked up by her big sister, Applejack, or occasionally Granny Smith. Today it was neither of them that I saw waiting patiently outside. Instead it was Big Macintosh, or Big Mac as most ponies call him.

He’s a pretty large, deep red, or maroon coloured earth pony, with a small orange coloured mane and tail. His cutie mark is that of a large green apple. And while Applejack has her trademark Stetson hat, Big Mac almost never seems to go anywhere without the large yoke he has draped around his neck.

I’ll say that I know of him. I’ve met him a few times when he was running the Apple’s stand at the market, and of course, I know he and Cheerilee have an on again off again relationship. However, I can’t say that I know him particularly well. He’s quite a quiet fellow; doesn’t really say too much when I talk to him, maybe a little shy too. Still, he’s a decent enough pony. He’s Applejack’s older brother by a few years and, with the exception of the princesses, one of the largest ponies I’ve come across. He’s actually almost eye level with me and stands far above most ponies’ heads, even topping the likes of Shining Armor. Little Apple Bloom looked even smaller than usual as she bounded up to him.

Between you and me though, I can guess why he might be quiet from time to time. After all, for a fair while he had to do practically all the work of the farm himself. And that was in addition to looking after both his little sisters. He is nothing if not a hard worker and known for his exceptional strength, even by the standards of earth ponies.

But for all his labours and triumphs in the face of adversity, the poor stallion does at times get overshadowed by his little sister, Applejack. After all, along with Twilight, she’s saved Equestria from certain destruction more than once. She helped free Princess Luna from Nightmare Moon, defeated Discord, helped defend both Canterlot and the Crystal Empire when they were attacked, and was even partly responsible for Tirek’s re imprisonment. Perhaps understandably then, Apple Bloom looks up to her older sister more than she does her older brother. And then there’s my own son too, who seems to always take on some paternal characteristics around her. In short, the quiet red stallion rarely finds himself in the limelight.

“Hey, big brother!” Apple Bloom greeted as she bounded up to him. The gentle giant leaned down to softly nuzzle her. I walked over to the pair.

“Hello there, Big Mac,” I greeted kindly. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here. Usually it’s Applejack who picks Apple Bloom up. Is she busy at the farm or something?”

“Eeyup.” Big Mac replied. While I know he is quite intelligent and in some areas a damn sight smarter than Applejack, he tends to stick to a somewhat limited vocabulary unless pushed. At times he can be like Father Stone. I then turned to Apple Bloom.

“Oh, Apple Bloom, I almost forgot,” I said, remembering the small flyer in my hand. “I meant to give you a sign-up sheet for the Sisterhooves Social next week. I’m guessing you and Applejack will be competing again?” Apple Bloom grinned excitedly and took the flyer from me.

“You bet, Mrs. Owen,” she replied. “Me and AJ are gonna take home first this year for sure!”

I almost missed the expression that briefly passed across Big Mac’s face, being too focused on the little filly. It only appeared for a moment; something like a mix of annoyance and regret. Still, as I’ve already shown, the stallion is hardly one to speak his mind. I let the pair go and headed off to hand out flyers to other parents and foals.

Ah, yes, the Sisterhooves Social. It’s sort of like a little sports day, but only for sisters, as the name implies. Applejack and Apple Bloom take part; it was actually hosted on the farm last time, so do Rarity and Sweetie Belle, along with Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash. The rule about both competitors being sisters is somewhat loose as I understand it.

I wouldn’t mind trying it with Lizzie if I were a bit younger. Hell, if Bones was a girl it would be a good opportunity for them to bond without killing each other. In that way I suppose, it is a little bit excluding. But it’s all in good fun really, and the event always draws a sizeable crowd. I’d certainly be heading to watch it all when it rolled around. Cheerilee and I had even volunteered to help set things up at the course.

That weekend found me fairly busy helping to set up the course. It was actually quite a complex thing, being a load of different competitions all thrown together in one big race. I was busy helping out at home believe it or not. One of the little contests was a pie eating one, in addition to refreshments for the spectators, and I was pitching in, alongside Granny Smith and Pinkie Pie, and had spent all the morning baking pies in batches.

I pride myself on being a good cook, at least when it comes to cakes, pies and the like. After all, as my mother once told me ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to appear on Bake-off or anything, but I can hold my own. At this point, all the kitchen worktops were either covered by cooling pies, fresh ingredients, or just flour to stop the pastry from sticking. It was pretty warm too. I’d got all the windows open, but since Equestria has yet to develop an extractor fan, it was still plenty hot. But above it all was the smell of freshly baked pies. It was quite a pleasant smell, and at least one other pony seemed to agree. Having apparently picked up the scent through the open window, I’d earlier discovered a light blue pegasus stallion sitting outside my kitchen window salivating like nobody’s business. I ended up having to chase him off with a broom.

By early afternoon, I’d done more than my fair share, and headed out to take them all to Sugarcube Corner. They’d be stored there until the next day in the Cakes larger store rooms and fridges. I planned to take them along in small batches, but as I stepped outside with the first lot, I spotted a potential ally.

“Blade Star!” I called out to my son, catching his attention.

Like me, he looked to be helping out setting things up for the Sisterhooves Social. Behind him, he was hauling a small wagon filled with hay bales, presumably to line the course. He looked a little down, but perked up when he heard me call out.

“Oh, hey, Mom,” he replied, stopping on his way. “You helpin’ out with the Sisterhooves Social too?” Grabbing a few of the pies I walked over to him.

“Yes, Pinkie’s had me cooking all morning for the pie eating contest.” At this, he laughed.

“I heard from RD that you had to chase Soarin off.” My brain sparked.

“Soarin?” I exclaimed. “As in the Wonderbolt? He was that pegasus drooling in my front garden?” It did seem a little far-fetched that I had something of a celebrity at my door. This just made Blade Star laugh again.

“Hah, yeah, it was accordin’ to Rainbow. The guy’s crazy over pies; swings by Sweet Apple Acres almost every month. Ah guess y’all might be takin’ our business.” He then gestured to the wagon he was pulling.

“C’mon, throw a few of those pies on the hay bales. Ah’m headin’ past Sugarcube Corner anyways.” I did as he suggested, and grabbed a few more myself and the two of us set off together.

“So are Applejack and Apple Bloom practicing for tomorrow then?” I asked as we walked. At this, Bones frowned again and shook his head.

“No, there’s a mite bit of bad news ‘bout that,” he replied. “’Bout twenty minutes ago, AJ’s cutie mark started glowin’. She and Rarity have had to head up to Manehatten for somethin’; friendship problem. So AB’s gonna have to sit this one out, Sweetie Belle too.”

“Oh dear, I’m sorry to hear that.” I said. Apple Bloom had been looking forward to it. She always seems to enjoy spending time with her big sister, given how much she looks up to her.

“So what’s happening now then,” I asked. “You and Big Mac left to hold the fort?” Again Bones nodded.

“Say, speaking off Big Macintosh, ya ain’t seen him have ya?” I shook my head.

“No, I haven’t seen him since yesterday at the school. Why?”

“It’s the strangest thing,” he replied. “AB got mighty upset when Applejack had to leave, but Mac just headed off, didn’t tell me where he was goin’ neither.” That did sound out of character for Big Mac. Usually, he was the protective and caring older brother, and it was odd that he should make Bones step up to the plate.

“Well, if I see him I’ll tell him you’re looking for him.” I said as we came up to Sugarcube Corner.

“Thanks, Mom,” Bones replied. “Ah’m just a little worried ‘bout him is all. He’s been awful quiet these past couple days; more so than usual.”

The two of us parted as we reached Sugarcube Corner, with me going inside to see Pinkie Pie, and my son heading on to the course.

Heading inside, I saw Pinkie working behind the counter. She literally bounced up to me as I walked in.

“Hey there, Margaret,” she greeted, taking a few of the pies off me. “Ooh, they're super delicious!”

“Hi Pinkie,” I replied. “I sure hope so. As much as I enjoy cooking I don’t fancy cooking up another batch today.” At this, Pinkie grinned.

“Well, there’s one way to find out for sure.” And without another word, she dived headfirst into one of the pies, emerging not ten seconds later, with pie crumbs and filling all over her face, and the plate clean as a whistle.

“Yep, they’re definitely delicious.” she declared. I shook my head, chalking it up to Pinkie’s naturally eccentric nature.

The two of us headed into the kitchen behind the front of the shop, which was filling up fast with pies from the Cakes’ own oven. Combined with all the ones I’d spent the morning cooking, there had to be around two dozen all together.

“Goodness, do we really need all these pies, Pinkie?” I asked, surprised. Pinkie nodded.

“Uh huh,” she accented. We need pies for the contest, refreshments for everypony, and the decoy pies.”

“Er…decoy pies?” I asked rather curiously. Pinkie nodded again.

“Yeah, otherwise Soarin eats all of them.” she answered, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. I’d just figured that was a one off. I changed the subject.

“Say Pinkie, you haven’t seen Big Mac around today have you?” I asked. “I ran into Blade Star earlier, and he was looking for him.” Pinkie paused in her work and thought, putting and a hoof to her chin and drew a bubble pipe from somewhere, setting it in her mouth, all with a very serious and thoughtful look on her face.

“Hmm, I do remember seeing him a little earlier,” she said. “I think he was going into that fancy dress shop off Stirrup Street.”

That sounded a little odd. Nightmare Night was still a ways off yet. And why else would a pony like Big Macintosh need to go into a fancy dress shop? Bones was right; that pony was acting very strangely.

Still, there wasn’t much I could do about it right now. So, thanking Pinkie for her help, I headed back to fetch the other batches of my ‘decoy’ pies.

The day for the Sisterhooves Social soon rolled around, and I found myself sitting in the stands with Roger as well as Lizzie. She’d spent most of yesterday working with Rainbow and the other members of the Weather Patrol to ensure that the weather was clear today. It would do nopony any good if the whole thing got rained on after all.

The teams had all been milling around the crowd since things got underway. And I was surprised to see Apple Bloom’s name on the teams’ sign-up sheet. After all, hadn’t Blade Star told me that Applejack had been sent off to Manehatten for a day or two? Who could she be racing with?

Glancing around, I soon picked out the large pink ribbon that the filly was almost always wearing. She was surrounded by a small knot of chattering ponies, along with Bones and what seemed to be a mare I didn’t recognise.

“Say, who’s that with Apple Bloom?” I asked my daughter. Lizzie shook her head.

“I don’t know, Mam.” she replied, seeming to be just as perplexed as I was. I tried my husband.

“Roger, do you know?” He shook his head.

“Not a clue, darling.” I frowned and, getting up from my spot in the stands, made my way back down to go and mingle among the crowd. I was rather curious to see just who Apple Bloom had got. Did she have some other sister I didn’t know about? Or perhaps she had a step-sister or half-sister. I wasn’t prepared for what I found.

Making my way through the crowd, I came across a decidedly uncomfortably looking Bones. His cheeks were blushing furiously, his eyes were nervous, and hit hat was pulled down low. All in all, he looked pretty shocked about something.

“Are you okay, lad?” I asked, startling him and causing him to let out a whiney. Which is absolutely adorable by the way. He quickly fixed his eyes on me, looking more nervous and unsettled than ever.

“Oh, mom, it’s you,” he replied hesitantly. “Yeah, Ah’m fine, just a little…concerned is all.”

“Concerned?” I repeated. “About what?” Swallowing for a moment, he began.

“Well, ya remember how Ah told ya that AJ had been called away to Manehatten.” I nodded. “And how Big Mac got all quiet and went off somewhere.” Again I nodded. He mopped his forehead now.

“Well, Ah found out this mornin’ just what he was up to, and so did AB. Ya can take a look for yourself.” He indicated where he had just come from, where Apple Bloom and the mare were standing, talking to ponies.

Still puzzled, I went over to see what was what. Pushing through the crowd, I found Apple Bloom. She quickly spotted me and bounded over.

“Hey, Mrs. Owen,” she greeted happily. “Guess what? Ah’m still gonna get to compete!” Well, at least that confirmed one bit of good news.

“With who though?” I asked. “I thought Applejack had been called away to Manehatten.” Apple Bloom turned and indicated the mare behind her, who until that moment, I hadn’t really taken much notice of. I turned to see who it was.

“This is my cousin Orchard Blossom.” Apple Bloom claimed.

I blinked. Evidently my eyes were playing up.

Oh…I guess not.

Standing before me was Big Mac.

In drag.

Complete with disguised voice.

Well, I guess that explained Bones’ thousand yard stare.

I had to stop myself from blurting out what should have been painfully obvious to anypony. But ponies do sometimes seem to miss things, I find. After all, I remember one time when Milano and I were out at the local watering hole, I had to stop Berry Punch from serving what was quite clearly three young colts stacked on top of each other under a trench coat. But I did stop myself. After all, Apple Bloom seemed happy as could be and nopony else seemed to have picked up on it.

But honestly, there was no way that dress, wig, and far too much makeup was fooling anypony. Big Mac would have made a terrible changeling. His talent for disguises was about the same as a giraffe in dark glasses trying to get into a polar bears only golf club. Extending my hand, I managed to stammer out a few words.

“Oh er, how do you do, Orchard Blossom?”

While I think the English language has more than enough suitable descriptors in it, there are some instances where I find myself at a loss for words. I’m sure there’s some German term for what I felt next. But the closest English term that came to mind was ‘secondary embarrassment’.

“Why it is such a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Owen. Ah’ve heard so much about you humans from little Apple Bloom.”

The voice was a high sour thing and, to me, was like nails on a chalkboard. Mac is the only guy in his family, well, immediate family. How can he possibly think that that is how a girl speaks? It was the most cringe worthy attempt at a southerner’s accent that I’d ever heard, and coming from a native speaker too. I had to struggle to avoid gagging and just simply calling the fool out.

Still, I did my best to force my way through the conversation that followed, and before long, I was able to excuse myself without trouble and headed back to the stand where Bones had now joined Roger and Lizzie, that same look in his eye of some unspeakable terror still in his eyes.

I imagine my expression was no different.

I sat myself down next to my son, who’d taken my own spot. The race would be starting any time now. Roger quickly saw that something was amiss with me.

“Are…are you alright, darling?” he asked, sounding concerned. “You look almost as pale as Bones does here.” He gestured to a sickly looking Blade Star. I turned to the one pony who seemed to be in on things.

“How long has he been like that?” I enquired. Bones kept looking forward, his expression unchanging.

“Since this mornin’. Ah came downstairs and found him out in the yard with AB. His heart’s in the right place, but Ah worry that he’s gonna make a fool of himself when he gets found out.”

Well, there was little either of us could do about that. I have no doubt that Bones had already tried, and failed, to talk Big Mac out of his hare-brained scheme. I just wondered what it was that had made him do something so drastic. I mean, sure, Apple Bloom would be disappointed if she missed today, but it wasn’t like it was the end of the world for her. I suppose in a peculiar way, he was being a very nice big brother. Still, I couldn’t look at that outfit or him for more than a few moments.

There was little to be done and, despite my misgivings, I agreed with Bones to allow events to run their course. He even speculated that this might all build up to a friendship lesson at some point, and he has always counselled Roger, Lizzie, and I to always keep out of the way of those; something about affecting the series continuity, whatever that means.

The race was soon underway. It’s something of an obstacle course, and in places it would put the Royal Guard to shame. There were straight sprints, hurdles, tunnels, mud pits, high walls, all requiring each team of sisters to work together to progress. The same was true for the more complex obstacles like egg balancing and the ridiculous pie eating contest for which I’d spent some time preparing. But as I’ve said before, it’s all in good fun.

If only somepony had told Big Mac, or rather, Orchard Blossom that.

The race started off civilly enough. But not having had too much time to practice, the two Apples’ had a hard time keeping up. As the pair bounded through the obstacles, bit by bit, Big Mac’s disguise was chipped away, both physically and in his manner. About three quarters of the way through, everypony cottoned on to what Bones and I had already worked out. There was a surprised gasp as Big Mac, for it was quite clearly him at this point, came tearing out of one of the obstacles, with Apple Bloom on his back.

He ploughed, quite literally, through the remaining few obstacles leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. It was little surprise then that the stallion with his filly passenger came across the line first to a stunned silence. It was only then that it dawned on the poor lad that his cover was blown.

It all resulted in the pair of them being disqualified, although not for the reason you might expect. I would have thought that the fact that he was her brother, and in disguise would be more than enough to see him kicked out of the contest. But in fact, it was his decidedly unsportsmanlike conduct that had cost the two their first place trophy. In fact, Granny Smith explained that there always been more than a bit of leeway on what precisely constituted sisters, and that, had he simply told them, they would have happily let him compete, rather than make him stoop to subterfuge.

The race then was given to the second place winner; Dinky and her older sister Sparkler if I remember correctly. The little filly was certainly glad for the award, although it would be joining at least a dozen intellectual trophies that adorned her bedroom shelf.

Bones went down from the stands to talk to Big Mac, and I followed, but he was gone before we got down there. Suitably embarrassed, and no doubt feeling like a complete and utter fool, the quiet red stallion had retreated to the family homestead to brood.

I had to admit, I felt bad the big fella. Okay, yes, his plan was ridiculous, and it was no surprise to me that it all came unstuck. But still, his heart was in the right place. He had wanted to do something nice for his little sister. Bones can be just the same at times, although his attempts are often far less well-received by Lizzie. It would be wrong to judge him so harshly, or make too merry over his misfortune.

And after all, the poor stallion does spend an awful lot of time in Applejack’s shadow. For all his skills, intelligence and wit, I know for a fact that, until that day at least, Apple Bloom looked up to her big sister than her big brother.

And, lets’ be honest here, ridiculous or not, it took some balls to do what he did; to go out into a crowd in a wig, dress, and makeup, plus the voice, all to make his little sister smile. It certainly meant swallowing more than a little bit of his pride. So, credit where credit is due. If I were marking all this as a teacher, I’d put ‘good plan, flawed execution’.

The Sisterhooves Social then, came to a surprising end. Mac, Bones and Apple Bloom went back to the farm, and according to my son, this is what happened.

Mac went off to brood for a while, and be alone with his thoughts. Apple Bloom however, went out to talk to him that evening, finding him sitting on a small hill underneath one of the many apple tress that populate the farm. Mac explained his reasons for doing what he did. He wanted the filly to look up to him, but lamented the fact that he’d let his own pride get in the way.

Apple Bloom was quick to cheer him up and the pair reconciled. Bones joined them not long after. He offered up his apologies to the stallion as well. After all, his occasional paternalistic leanings towards Apple Bloom had only further served to exclude Mac at times.

The whole incident left all parties just a little bit wiser and more understanding of each other. And much to Big Mac’s amusement, his much vaunted sister had missed the entire thing! Applejack and Rarity heard quite the interesting tale when they returned from their own adventures in Manehatten.

After that, the whole incident pretty much died away. Small towns like Ponyville may have long memories, but when it comes to gossip, the next piece of juicy news quickly eclipses the last. Still, it made me respect the quiet red stallion just a little bit more. And if I’m honest, I can sort of see why Cheerilee has a thing for him.

Chapter 13 - End of an Era

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School life, as a rule, is fairly routine. You get up, go to school Monday through Friday, then come home to rest up and grade work, before doing all again on Monday. Of course, there’s the half-term, end of term, and summer holidays to break things up, but beyond that, life as a teacher is quite routine.

Of course, there are always exceptions. Important events are dotted through the school calendar. There’s parents evening, exams, the school play, snow days, all sorts really. The most important for me, as a teacher, is the annual meeting of the board of governors. With the sole exception of a school inspection, it is possibly one of the most stressing times in the year. After all, it’s then that the budget is decided, the curriculum is revised, registers get updated, and all the important issues are voted on. Add to that that Ponyville is a small town, and thus enjoys the political climate of a small town, and you have a barrel of laughs.

I’d never actually attended a governors meeting. Back on Earth, I never rose to be a department head, and thus my opinion and the fact that I actually was the one who had to deal with the bloody kids at the end of the day, didn’t count for much. But as I was one of only two teachers, and I suppose technically also the de-facto deputy head, I would now be allowed to sit in on meetings and have a vote. Cheerilee was more than grateful to have someone in her corner who could back up her own views if needed. And I too was rather looking forward to having a bit more influence on how these children were educated.

I wasn’t too sure what to expect though. Like I said, I’d never sat in on a board of governors meeting before. But I assumed it would be somewhat like a local council meeting. It wasn’t as if the governors were much of an issue anyway. Cheerilee said that, most of the time, they were more of a rubber stamp parliament than anything else. But there were times that she had faced resistance, particularly from the PTA representatives. Still, it wasn’t as if I’d be sitting on one of those Trojan Horse schools now would it?

After lessons came to an end that Thursday, Cheerilee gave me a brief rundown on the various members of the board.

“Right,” she began. “Well, to start with, there’s you and me, representing ourselves as teachers, with me as your union rep. Then there’s Sharp Pencil from Canterlot, who represents the Ministry of Education and the inspectors. Most of the other ponies I think you already know. Golden Harvest is the treasurer, Lyra’s the secretary and takes the minutes.” She continued to rattle off the names of familiar ponies, the last but one being very familiar.

“Diamond Tiara is the students representative, as class president.” I shook my head in bewilderment.

“How in the name of Celestia herself is that little filly still class president?!” I exclaimed in consternation. Cheerilee shrugged her shoulders.

“I can’t do too much about it if nopony else runs against her,” she replied. “Besides, she doesn’t exactly contribute much, unless it involves something to do with her personally.” Cheerilee then moved onto the last person on the board.

“And finally, there’s Spoiled Rich, Diamond’s mother.” That piqued my interest.

I’ve met Diamond’s father Filthy Rich plenty of times, more than enough times if I’m honest. It always puzzled me how a filly so rotten could come from such a stallion. Okay, he was a rich, smug bastard, and a bit of a windbag, but underneath, he seemed to be a good stallion. And while he did dote on his little filly, it didn’t really explain her behaviour. He spoiled her sure and ignored her bad behaviour, but I couldn’t see anything that would have started her on such a course.

Oddly enough though, I’d never met Diamond’s mother. I knew of her. Like Filthy, she came from a wealthy family. Her parents had made the fortune and she merely inherited it. At least Filthy had earned his money, just like his father and grandfather. I’d never once seen her at the school; not one single function. She hadn’t come to parent’s evening, she never picked Diamond up from school, she didn’t even come to the Hearth’s Warming play we’d put on. It seemed that while Filthy doted on his daughter, his mother took a somewhat more distanced approach.

“And what does she do then?” I asked Cheerilee.

“She’s the head of the board of governors, though goodness knows why. I’ve never seen a mare despise foals so much. But she always runs for the office and, just like her daughter, nopony runs against her. You should watch out for her though. She can be pretty mean. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was from Canterlot.”

“Oh,” I replied, smiling. “She sounds like the life of the party.” Cheerilee and I laughed.

“The one thing you do have to watch, is her and her daughter working together. If Diamond suggests something, her mother tends to back her, and that tends to convince the other ponies on the board to back her too.”

I shook my head in disbelief. My son used to say that politics was made up of two words; poli, the Greek word for many, and tics, which are blood sucking insects. I think he’s right. Hell, from what Cheerilee had said about Spoiled Rich’s little voting bloc, I almost would prefer a crazy bunch of Islamists trying to get me to ban Christmas.

Still, I did see an interesting possibility. If I could get Diamond Tiara booted from being class president this year and get somepony else in there, it might make things a little bit easier for all concerned. And if and when Spoiled Rich and I crossed paths, she would find I had just a strong a will as she did. At the end of the day, there was no way I was going to let some uptight, foal hating, Canterlot noble wannabe tell me how I should teach these kids.

In a free country, there must always be some form of opposition to the government, to ensure oversight and fairness, and prevent an abuse of power. Even at the highest levels of the Equestrian government; the princesses, each balances the authority of the other. It seemed to me that that was what our little school needed. While it is true that schools are not democracies; they’re dictatorships insofar as teachers are concerned, it seemed a bit pointless having a class president when they did not represent said class.

So, with that in mind, I began to cultivate La Resistance.

The first question was who to gently nudge in the direction of office. Dinky would be my first choice. Heck, that little filly, given five minutes alone with the school’s budget report could probably save us a few thousand bits. On the other hand, I’m not sure how some ponies might react to having a filly far smarter than themselves on the panel.

The Crusaders were definitely out, unless I wanted a three pony version of the House of Commons during Prime Minister’s Questions. Plus, it would hardly be fair to pick one of them over the other two.

Snips or Snails? No, Equestria doesn’t need its own version of the Liberal Democrats. Who to pick? Who would make an ideal candidate and also have a chance against Diamond Tiara?

I was still pondering this question when recess rolled around. I looked out at the foals playing in groups, trying to see if anypony looked up to the job. They needed to be mature, a good speaker, well liked, and with a particular edge of their own.

My eyes came to rest on little Pipsqueak, or Pip as I call him in a nod to Dickens. The young colt was a transplant from Trottingham; Equestria’s caricature of England. He’d settled in very quickly according to Cheerilee and made friends among his classmates. I watched him as he, Rumble and Featherweight played with the battered tetherball.

That reminds me; I need to recommend that we set some money aside to repair all the play equipment. The stupid Tirek somehow managed to damage them during his fight with Twilight before being sent back to the black hole he crawled out of. Oddly enough, just as I was thinking of it, I heard Pipsqueak make a similar comment to his friends.

Every good politician, and every successful one has a big campaign pledge. Repairing all that kit could be something the foals could rally around. The fact that he seemed to be the leader of his little band didn’t hurt at all either. Plus, his status as something of an outsider, being from Trottingham rather than Ponyville, might be good as well.

Yes, now that I thought about it, Pipsqueak did seem like a good choice. The question now was, was he himself actually interested? I called him over.

“Pipsqueak?” I called out. All three colts checked themselves and did their best to appear innocent. Evidently they thought I’d spotted them doing something naughty.

“Could I talk with you for a minute?”

With some reluctance, Pipsqueak broke away from his friends, and with a slightly hesitant air, trotted over to me.

“Er, yes, Mrs. Owen?” he asked, sounding a little unsure.

“Relax, lad; you’re not in trouble,” I assured him. “I just wanted to ask you a question, that’s all.” At this his demeanour changed and he appeared far more at ease that before.

“Yes, Mrs. Owen?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. I kneeled down to be a little closer to his eye level.

“Pipsqueak,” I asked. “How would you like to try running for class president?” The colt seemed surprised.

“Er, me?” he said curiously.

“Yes, you,” I replied, smiling. “I couldn’t help but overhear what you were saying to Rumble and Featherweight. It is high time we fixed up all this equipment. And if you became class president, you could vote on it at the board of governors meeting.”

Pipsqueak noticeably swelled with pride at my unexpected praise, and I could tell that the idea would appeal to him.

“Do you think I could?” he asked, excitedly.

“Of course I do,” I replied. “If you can get a good campaign going against Diamond Tiara, I’d say your chances are very good.” However, the moment I mentioned the filly’s name, his face fell.

“I’d have to run against Diamond Tiara?” he asked, his voice now unsure. I did my best to encourage him.

“You would,” I replied. “But to my mind, you seem like a far better choice. All you have to do is show the other students that. And I’m sure you could find some ponies to help you.”

At this, I turned to look over at the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I’m fairly certain they haven’t tried for a campaign managing cutie mark yet, and the chance to knock Diamond Tiara off her pedestal would only encourage them more. Well, that and a desire to effect political change…probably. Mostly the first two reasons.

In any case, Pip seemed to take my meaning and, with a smile trotted off toward the sandbox, which stood at the centre of the playground. And there, in his adorable voice, he raised his proverbial standard, throwing his hat into the ring, and announcing his candidacy. Foals quickly gathered around him in excitement and began to chatter amongst themselves. With any luck this would be like the Tories against Labour in the eighties; a landslide.

However, a few moments later, Diamond Tiara, along with Silver Spoon stormed over.

“Seriously?” she exclaimed in disbelief. “You idiots are going to follow this silly little blank flank?!”

The crowd promptly shrank back. This was the big problem; Diamond could intimidate her way to victory. I began to have my own second thoughts about Pip’s chances of success. Sure he was the underdog, and the plucky Brit. But the plucky Brit did have an unfortunate habit of coming in second.

And so the campaigning began. As I thought they might, with little prompting, the Crusaders backed Pipsqueak up. To my surprise though, he actually seemed to be doing pretty well on his own. For such a young colt, he certainly seemed to have the right ideas. He promised to fix up the playground amongst about half a dozen other promises, all in favour of the students, and teachers if I’m honest. I tell you, if Equestria has organised labour, that lad could grow up to be the pony version of Scargill.

Within minutes he had the entire school population eating out of his hooves and cheering him on. However, Diamond then made her own countermove.

Pipsqueak might be a good liberal politician someday, but Diamond? That filly was ruthless enough to run under a US Republican ticket. Hell, that girl might even stand a chance at out-intimidating old Maggie Thatcher. While Pip promised actual policies, Diamond went down the route of carrots and sticks. She made damn near impossible promises to ponies in an effort to win votes. And when that didn’t work, she stooped to threats and blackmail. The two foals were like opposite sides of the same coin.

The election campaign wasn’t exactly a long one. As a rule, foals had a day to campaign and then a vote at afternoon break. To be honest, it might be better if other campaigns were so short; it would force politicians to stop slinging mud and make them concisely state their position, their policies, and their reaction to their opponent.

We did have one debate, with a similar tactics being deployed by both sides. Anypony with their head screwed on would vote for Pip. But it also seemed that if you wanted to keep things quiet, you wouldn’t rock the boat too much and vote for Diamond.

Her own campaign, from what I saw, wasn’t exactly well-planned either. Cheerilee had told me that she only used the position, symbolic as it was, for personal gain. It seemed that there was nopony that she wouldn’t step on or throw under the bus in order to win. To my surprise, she even got snappy and angry with Silver Spoon.

Ah, yes, Silver Spoon. To my knowledge, the grey and silver filly is Diamond Tiara’s only friend. Like her, she comes from a wealthier family, Canterlot ex-pats or so I understand. The two are united in their hatred of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and foals without a cutie mark in general. That and they both seem to enjoy looking down their snouts at us mere commoners.

So you could see why it came as such a shock to me that she would turn on her best friend like that. Silver Spoon has always been nice to her. And if I’m honest, she was never quite as vocal or as mean to other ponies. She was usually just with Diamond, following her around and backing her up. If I’m honest, the way Diamond treated her, I was surprised that they were still friends at all, never mind best friends.

As the school day came to an end, the task of counting the votes began. We weren’t exactly running a by-election; in total, the entire electorate was no more than twenty foals; us teachers didn’t have the franchise. The two sides had been locked in a pretty fierce struggle, with one side promising reform, and the other threatening a backlash. I was actually unsure who it was who would win.

As it turned out though, I didn’t give my young charges enough credit.

Both Cheerilee and I double counted the votes, to be sure of a correct count. The two of us sat together in the empty classroom, with the excited foals watching from the window outside. I counted first, and then passed the ballots on to Cheerilee.

“Let’s see then,” I said as I opened up the ballot box, formerly sealed with impenetrable gaffer tape. “Okay, first vote is for Pipsqueak.”

“Well, there’s a good start,” Cheerilee said brightly. “At this point even I’m backing that little colt.” We both chuckled to ourselves.

To my surprise, that first vote very much set the tone. Vote after vote was drawn from the box and unfolded, and each one bore the name of the supposed underdog. His rating went from ten percent, to twenty five, to a win of over fifty, to seventy five. I hadn’t seen a single vote for the incumbent class president yet.

“Pipsqueak again!” I declared, pulling another piece of paper out. “I’m glad that he’s finally knocked Diamond down a peg or two, but how big is this landslide of his?”

“It is amazing,” Cheerilee agreed, turning to look at the chalkboard. She’d tallied up the results. So far there were twenty votes for Pip, and none for Diamond. “You don’t think the Cutie Mark Crusaders are trying for an election fraud cutie mark do you?”

I shook my head, although that would be rather enterprising of them. And if they were this good, they might even earn their mark.

“No, I don’t think there’s anything fishy going on. All of these votes are in different hoofwriting. Diamond does quite simply have a full blown rebellion on her hooves. It’ll certainly be interesting to see how she takes it all.”

The two of us shared a long, worried glance. We both knew exactly how she’d take it; not well, not well at all. She would no doubt cry foul herself, and probably try and drag her father into this. Finally, I came to the last vote in the box.

“Alright, last one.” I unfolded the paper. “Diamond Tiara.” Cheerilee shook her head.

“Well, I suppose there was bound to be one pony to vote for her; herself!” That made me think though.

“Hang on a minute,” I said, glancing over to the two piles of paper and the tally marks on the chalkboard. “If Diamond only has one vote, then that means that not even Silver Spoon voted for her.” Cheerilee shrugged her shoulders.

“Can you blame her?” she asked. “Diamond’s walked all over her and treated her like dirt since they’ve been friends. Hay, I’m not really sure I’d even say they were friends. Silver Spoon may have liked Diamond, but I’m not so sure that the feeling was mutual. She’s put up with it all long enough, maybe, like the rest of the class, she’s had enough.

“True,” I agreed. “Very true indeed.” I sat down the now empty ballot box.

“Well, I’m happy with the count. Twenty three for Pipsqueak and one for Diamond Tiara. It’s pretty clear who’s won and who’s lost.”

“Yep, I’m with you there,” I replied, nodding my head. “You want to go tell them all they’ve got a new class president, and I’ll get ready for the looming electoral crisis.” Cheerilee laughed light heartedly at that and trotted out to announce the news.

With Cheerilee gone, I took a moment to relax and settled down to mark some of the homework I’d received from last week. Election or not, the usual routines of school life go on. Of course, from the classroom, I could see out into the playground and watch the political drama unfold.

I heard Cheerilee announce the winner, and young Pip was lifted off his hooves and carried around by his cheering friends. Diamond meanwhile was left alone and sullen. She quickly challenged Silver Spoon about her own vote. To my surprise, the little grey filly completely turned on her friend, calling her out on her own behaviour.

With little recourse, Diamond fell back on her usual habits, and with a scream, shout and stomp, she stormed out of the playground as the bell rang to signal the end of the day.

I wasn’t surprised at her reaction. If I’m honest I expected something like it. It’s not like the filly was ever known to be gracious in defeat.

I shook my head. It still puzzled me how she’d ended up such a vile creature. As I’ve said before, her father, whatever his other faults might be, was nothing like her. In fact, for the most part, he could be quite the gentlecolt when the occasion called for it.

About twenty minutes later, I was done with what little work I had to do. It was the weekend at last, and I had two whole days to relax before I had to deal with Diamond Tiara again. I’d promised Cheerilee that I’d lock up, so she had already gone back home.

Of course, the both of us would be coming back later this afternoon for the governors meeting, but at least we had a chance to relax before then. Personally, I planned to head into town to stop by the market, and possibly go to that nice bistro restaurant Twilight and Rarity had recommended.

Turning the key in the lock behind me, I left the schoolhouse behind and headed back along the familiar road into town. As I came toward one of the main squares, I came across an unusual bunch of ponies.

There seemed to be some sort of society event on, and I picked out a couple Canterlot nobles in attendance, including Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis. I don’t move in those circles myself, and I wasn’t too bothered about what they were up to and I was about to move past them, when something caught my eye.

I picked out a spot of pink among the crowd; it was Diamond Tiara. She was standing opposite a mare I didn’t recognise. Like her, she had a pinkish coat, although her features were quite worn with age. While I know I’m no spring chicken myself, I would even go as far to say that she was quite an ugly mare, despite the makeup that tried to hide it all. The two seemed to be having something of an argument. As I drew closer, I picked out words, and then sentences.

“What?! You mean I hefted all those party supplies to celebrate nothing?!” the mare exclaimed angrily. Diamond cowered.

“Sorry, mother,” she replied. Ah, this was the infamous Spoiled Rich. I couldn’t say I was surprised.

“It's bad enough you lost to that transplant from Trottingham, but imagine if you'd lost to one of those blank flanks!” she went on in a disgusted tone. “As a Rich pony, you must always think of your social standing."

Off to the side, I saw Fancy Pants turn and scowl with some disgust at the mare berating her own foal. I was pretty mad too to tell the truth. Who the hell talks to their own child like that? For goodness sake, it’s one little class presidency, it’s hardly going to follow her through life! Still, it certainly explained much. Here it seemed was the root of Diamond’s troubles and the source of her dislike for the Crusaders.

After some further berating, Diamond left, her mother’s gaze following her. I’ve met disinterested mothers, I’ve met incompetent mothers, and I’ve met mothers who really make a good argument for forced sterilisation. But I’ve never, in my whole life, met a mother who seems to regard her daughter so coldly, and treats her so cruelly as that.

As Spoiled too departed for the schoolhouse and governors meeting, she barged her way past me.

“Out of my way, you hairless ape!” she snapped viciously. I was so stunned by her behaviour that I didn’t respond. I was only brought to my senses by a voice behind.

“There goes a perfect demon.” said a noble sounding voice. Turning around, I found myself face to face with Fancy Pants.

“I’ve never seen somepony embody all the worst qualities of the nobility in all my days,” he remarked, shaking his head. “And what’s more, she isn’t even from a noble line; what Trotsky called the petty bourgeoisie if I remember rightly.” He looked to me, evidently expecting a response.

“Oh, er, yes. She does seem to be rather lacking in social graces, doesn’t she,” I replied. I’d never met Fancy Pants before and found myself a little off balance for it. With his mustache and Trottingham accent, he reminded me of an old British Army officer from the days of Victoria.

“It’s such a shame she drags her filly down with her though.” At thought stuck me at that moment.

“Well, perhaps there are ways to prevent that.” I suggested, an idea already forming in my head. Offering the usual pleasantries to the noblepony before I left, I made my way back to the school to prepare for the meeting, my earlier plans on hold.

The meeting went as you might expect; it was more like a rubber stamp than anything else along with backing for Spoiled’s own agenda, and her constant berating of everypony else quickly became tiresome. The newly minted class president tried to make good on his campaign promises of repairing the school equipment, but that too was quickly shot down, despite my own efforts. Apparently, we didn’t have enough in the budget. Maybe if we weren’t blowing money on the same bloody cutie mark lessons every other day, we might have. But Spoiled insisted on them being a constant feature of the curriculum.

So, things did not go particularly well. Poor Pip, in an adorable attempt to keep his word, raided his piggy bank for pocket change.

Stepping out into the sunlight again, my temper badly frayed, we all came across an unusual sight. There was both Diamond Tiara and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. The latter seemed to be trying, believe it or not, to help the former, offering their friendship. Diamond seemed to be torn whether to accept or reject them. I was at the back of the column and couldn’t see too much, when Spoiled waded in again.

“Diamond Tiara! I just happened to be here for the school board meeting, and this is what I see when we adjourn? My daughter associating with confused, insignificant lowlifes? Socializing with their kind is not how you move up in Equestria! Come, Diamond Tiara!” The mare haughtily turned away, expecting her daughter to follow. It was then though, that something amazing happened.

Diamond said no. The mare wheeled around angrily and, to my amazement and pleasure, the once evil little filly called her mother out, in front of everypony, on all the horrible things she did, and that she had taught her to do. She even defended the Crusaders against her mother’s insults. And best of all, after brow beating the evil bitch, she got her to deliver a note to Filthy, which convinced him to put up the money to repair the play equipment. It has to be, without a shadow of a doubt, the single most epic thing that had ever happened on the grounds of this little school.

Well, for about a minute it was.

The Crusaders had fallen into discussion after their sudden forming of friendship with Diamond. Cheerilee and I were still trying to process that; it wasn’t so much like watching the Berlin Wall come down, but more akin to watching Kim Jong-Un skip across the DMZ with a basket of flowers and hug it out with South Koreans across the way.

Anyway, it was at that moment the Crusaders came to their own realisation. They had something of a knack for helping other ponies find and understand their own cutie marks. They’d done just as much with Diamond and, if I remember, with Troubleshoes.

Then it happened.

All three of them were caught up in some strange magic and when they emerged, to everypony’s amazement and joy, they had their cutie marks! Each was a shield, with three stripes of purple, pink and red, along with a particular mark for each, an apple for Apple Bloom, a musical note for Sweetie Belle, and a lightning bolt for Scootaloo.

The three fillies cheered and jumped for joy; their long quest finally at an end.

With half the town to hand, word spread quickly and brought Applejack, Big Mac, Granny Smith, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash running. All of them were so proud of their respective charges. And I’ll admit, even I found a few tears in my eyes. Pinkie Pie promptly arranged the biggest Cuteciniera party in Ponyville’s history for the three triumphant fillies.

As we all arrived there in one big procession, I saw Bones waiting for us all. He was trying, and failing, to mask the happy tears on his own face and pulled his hat down a little. Apple Bloom quickly spotted him and cantered out to him at the top of her speed.

In another little show of that paternal leaning which he seems to have for the filly, Bones, with a laugh that was half a cry, lifted her off her hooves with his magic and flew her around in the air, before setting her back on her hooves again and hugging her as hard as he could.

“Ah’m so proud of ya, AB!” he exclaimed. “Ah’m just sorry we all weren’t there to see it happen.” He gestured to her sister, older brother and grandmother. “Congratulations to y’all in any case.”

With that, we all headed into Sugarcube Corner and I think, had a Cuteciniera that pushed even Pinkie Pie to her limits.

Oh, and while Diamond was there, Spoiled Rich was conspicuous by her absence.

Chapter 14 - Call the Midwife

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A few weeks after the monumental paradigm shift that was Diamond Tiara and the Cutie Mark Crusaders becoming friends, things had at last begun to settle down again. It was quite strange really. The Crusaders were, well, no longer crusading per se and there was not an opportunity to find a cutie mark around every corner.

However, they do seem to have found a new line of work. As I said before, their cutie marks seem to signify their ability to help other ponies understand their cutie mark, as well as helping them discover their special talent. Cheerilee says she’s never seen anything like it. And I thought them having a branch in Manehatten with Babs Seed and her friends was something.

The other big piece of news was, of course, Spoiled Rich’s surprise departure from my little world. After being thoroughly chewed out by her own daughter, she quickly found herself facing a little rebellion on the board of governors. With her aura of authority broken, it just so happened that somepony put forward a no confidence vote against. And wouldn’t you know it, it won! She’s still on the board officially, but Cheerilee says she hasn’t seen her in a while. And if worse comes to worst, i'll always have the threat of Social Services dangling over her head.

So, we now find ourselves in this strange almost utopia situation. If I’m honest, it’s actually become a tad boring, not having to deal with Diamond or the Crusaders odd little disasters. Still, I do have the usual work to do. I guess I’m just noticing the void left by it all, and I find myself almost missing it.

Luckily for me, the usual routines of my life were quite suddenly broken up by the arrival of a pair of very special guests.

I hadn’t seen the prince and princess of the Crystal Empire for a fair while. I’d seen Cadence a few months ago when she dropped by to help resolve a little shouting match between Roger and I. Shining on the other hand, I hadn’t seen for a good long while, not since the last Summer sun Celebration, I think.

But this last week, both of them came down to Ponyville with some surprising news. I heard all of this from Rarity, who was quick to spread the news to anypony who would listen.

Shining and Cadence arrived in town, ostensibly for the purpose of visiting Twilight. After all, given each other’s various royal duties, and Twilight’s occasional need to save Equestria from certain destruction, they didn’t get to see each other too often.

However, when they arrived, Twilight and the others found themselves roped into a little scavenger hunt. Apparently, Shining Armor used to set these up for her all the time when they were younger. It actually started with the girls all turning up at the schoolhouse, under directions to visit the Foal Free Press; the school’s little in house, student run newspaper. After that, they headed over to town hall, to find Applejack’s old birth certificate, and finally to the furniture store where they found a crib. After that, they all wound their way back to Sugarcube Corner, where Shining and Cadence were waiting.

Well, it wasn’t hard for me to see all the things that those items had in common; a school, the Foal Free Press, a birth certificate, and a crib. That and I can assure you that Cadence was positively glowing, though not because of the Crystal Heart. No she was glowing in the other sense of the word. She had a bun in the oven, was in the family way, or whatever else you wish to call it. She was pregnant, and Twilight was going to be an aunt!

So after having a little less violent version of the Da Vinci Code and coming to the correct conclusion, Pinkie Pie had thrown them a little party in Sugarcube Corner, that had quickly evolved, as, like I said before, Rarity went around Ponyville, howling out the news for all to hear.

I was out putting out the washing on the line in the back garden when the dress maker came cantering up the path to me.

“Margaret! Margaret!” the fashionista called out as she came running as fast as hooves could carry her. I paused in my work.

“Rarity?” I asked, sounding perplexed. “What’s the matter?” At first, I thought Rarity was upset or distressed.

“It’s Twilight, darling! She’s going to be an aunt!” She squealed in excitement, still overcome by the news.

“What?” I exclaimed. “When did that happen then?”

“Cadence and Shining Armor just told us when we got to the end of their little scavenger hunt,” Rarity explained, now a little calmer, but still close to Pinkie Pie levels of giddiness.

“Oh ,so that’s what brought you six down to the school earlier,” I replied. They’d all left in such a hurry, and I was busy with the lesson, that I hadn’t had a chance to ask them what it was all about. “Are the expectant couple still about?”

“Oh, yes,” Rarity replied. “Pinkie Pie’s throwing them a little party at Sugarcube Corner.

I quickly set down what washing I still had to hang up. It was going to be dry and sunny all day today; I could afford to take an hour or so to go and see the two, and offer my congratulations. It was just a shame Roger was still up at Canterlot, although I was sure Shining would pass the word himself before long.

Following Rarity back along the road, I soon found myself at Sugarcube Corner, which was filled with ponies. Carefully threading and nudging my way through the crowd, I soon found myself inside.

Twilight and her friends were there still, as was the happy couple themselves, along with quite a few ponies from around town. Bones and Lizzie were there, with my son chatting away with Shining Armor. Lizzie meanwhile was with Rainbow Dash. I also picked out both of the Cakes’ and their own children. Pumpkin was happily sitting on her mother’s back while Cadence cooed at her. Deciding that my first job was to congratulate the pair, I made my way over to Cadence.

“Cadence!” I called out over the general hubbub in the bakery. The pink alicorn quickly picked me out. Among ponies, I feel like a Westerner in Japan; I’m fairly easy to spot.

“Margaret!” Cadence greeted with a smile on her face. She walked over to me and I gave her a hug, which was a little easier than with most ponies, since she wasn’t that much shorter than me.

“Congratulations,” I said as we parted again. “To you and Shining Armor.”

“Thanks, Margaret. I still can’t quite believe it myself. I’d actually appreciate having some time to talk with you if have a few minutes.” I smiled.

“Sure,” I replied. “I suppose I can impart a few words of wisdom. Come on back to the house in a little while and we can have a cuppa.” As I headed off to talk to Shining, Cadence found herself swarmed by ponies once again, all offering their congratulations.

Shining meanwhile was still talking with Bones. He too was offering the captain his own congratulations. As I came up, I heard Bones joking about that old classic British royalty rule of the ‘heir and a spare’.

“Congratulations, Shining,” I said, walking up to the pair and shaking his hoof. “Though I expect you’ve heard that at least half a dozen times by now.” Bones smiled and Shining barked out a short laugh.

“I think I’ve had more congratulations today than when I was promoted to by Captain of the Royal Guard,” he replied, scratching at the back of his neck. “It’s sure has been a lot to take in.”

“I just thought that I ought to let you know that Cadence is going to come and have a chat with me back at my house for a while. I’m sure she’ll be back here before too long, and Bones can point you in the right direction. Right, lad?”

“Sure, mom,” my son replied.

“I’ll make sure to send the pair of you a gift for the baby shower when the time comes,” I added.

With that, I headed back to Cadence, who was still trying to fend off all the friendly ponies that were congregating around her.

After helping to politely extract the alicorn princess from the knot of ponies that surrounded her, I took her back home for a well-earned break from it all. Discovering that you’re pregnant is shock enough, never mind having to explain it all to adoring fans.

Heading back the way I had come, the two of us found ourselves back at the modest little house that I called my home. Fishing the keys out of my pocket, I let us in and ushered Cadence inside. Taking her into the front room, I settled her down on the large sofa, before heading through to the kitchen to fix up some tea.

I occasionally stop by Zecora’s little stand. Her herbal knowledge leaves her well placed to provide some good, natural chamomile teas. I must confess though, no matter how hard she’s tried, she’s never quite been able to replicate a Twinning’s Traditional Afternoon bag. The last thing Cadence needed right now though was caffeine, so the chamomile would do just fine. I poured a cup for myself as well.

Bringing the tray through, along with a few biscuits for good measure, I sat down next to the slightly tired looking alicorn.

“There you go, darling,” I said kindly. “Get some of that in you.” Cadence gratefully took the cup in her magic and sipped in the dainty style befitting a princess. She closed her eyes in the brief moment of bliss.

“Thanks for this, Margaret.” She said after a few moments.

“Eh, one good turn deserves another.” I replied, with a shrug of my shoulders.

“Ever since word broke when we told Twilight, it’s been non-stop congratulations. Honestly, I could just use some advice.” I smiled and patted her on the shoulder gently.

“Well thank your lucky starts you’re talking to an old hand,” I said. “I may not know much about ponies, but I do know a fair bit about carrying a kid for nine months.”

Cadence smiled that same slightly tired smile again, so I took my cue to start.

“So, how far along are you?” I asked. Cadence set her teacup down.

“The doctors think only a few weeks. I started getting sick in the mornings, and a visit to the royal physician quickly found out that it wasn’t a stomach bug.” I laughed a little at that.

“Yeah, same here,” I replied. “It shouldn’t last too long though; it usually peters out by the end of the first trimester.”

She was still in potentially for a great barrel of laughs though. I remember when I had my son that he spent most of his time kicking, and it made it damn near impossible for me to keep anything down.

And then of course there was all the weight you put on. I had to fight tooth and nail for a good couple years to get something like my old figure back. Cadence’s lither form would soon make it very obvious what was in the works.

On a footnote though, I must say I’m a little jealous of her on that front, along with most of the mares in Equestria. After the little tyke was born, within perhaps a week, at least when Twilight and the others went to see her, she’d got that supermodel figure back. That really grinds my gears.

“Everything’s just happening so fast,” Cadence went on. “I mean, yes there’s the fact that I’m pregnant, but there’s so much to do. I’ve got to get everything ready in the castle, sort out the nanny, prepare everypony else for when I have to take time off work, deal with the press. It’s all just so….argh!” She threw herself back into the sofa and shut her eyes.

Setting down my own tea cup, I leaned across and pulled her into a hug, letting her bury her head in my shoulder. And of course, dodging the sharp, pointy horn which was now perilously close to my eyes.

“Hey, relax,” I said reassuringly. “There’ll be plenty of time to figure all that out. You’ve got nine months yet to get ready for everything. So don’t stress yourself out. That’s bad for you and for baby.

“And don’t you go around using that ‘I’ all the time. Having a baby isn’t something you have to do alone. You’ve got Shining, your family, and all your people to help out. You just focus on having this baby. The rest can go on hold for a bit.” This seemed to calm her a little.

“I can’t help but feel as though I’m not ready,” she went on. “I’ve faced all these challenges in my life, but I’ve never dealt with something like this.” I smiled to myself, seeing an opportunity to encourage her a little more.

“The way I see it, Cadence,” I replied. “You’re admirably qualified, more so than me even.” The alicorn glanced over to me, confused.

“You’re the Princess of Love, are you not? That’s the cornerstone of being a mother; love. It’s what makes us bond with them when we’re first given them to hold, what causes us to get up every night when they’re crying for us, what causes us to put up with whatever trouble they cause, and it’s what makes a mother the single most dangerous creature in the universe.”

The latter part of that I could testify was true. I remember to this day the one time I had to really protect my children. I decided to impart a little tale to Cadence.

Back when we lived in the Midlands, our own neighbourhood was alright, but the one adjacent to us, a place called Beechdale, was a goddamn ghetto infested with all manner of scum. Of particular problem, were these oikes who used to have fighting dogs, Staffordshire bull terriers and the like. They used them to fight, as status symbols, and to intimidate, since they were stupidly aggressive because of all the stuff they’d been put through by their owners. If the police found them, they were usually seized as dangerous dogs and put down, especially the Pitbull breeds, which are illegal in the UK.

Anyway, one day, both the kids were out playing in the garden out back. I was in the kitchen doing the washing up from lunch. I could see the whole garden from where I was standing, so I figured they were both quite safe. Lizzie, who was four at the time, was climbing around on the climbing frame we had, while Bones was playing with our own Border Terrier.

Out of the blue, I heard this scratching and growling noise at the garden fence, and a moment later, this thing came tearing across the grass towards the dog and my son. Our own dog tried to fight it, but being smaller was quickly knocked down (luckily, she wasn’t hurt that bad) and this thing went straight for Bones. I quickly realised that it was one of those Beechdale fighting dogs.

I’d started out of the kitchen, but before I could get outside, the dog was on him. My boy was smart enough to curl up and cover his face with his hands, but this dog was mental. It was biting at his arms, scratching at him, barking; it was bonkers. Add to that both my children screaming and you’ve got a mother’s worst nightmare.

I ran outside and over to them. My only thought was getting that dog off my son. I grabbed at its neck, but there was no collar, and I couldn’t get a grip on it. Bones was still screaming at me to get it off him, while our own dog, now back on its paws, was barking up a storm and trying to get back in on the fight.

In the end, I somehow managed to grab the dog under its stomach and lift it up wholesale. It didn’t like that, and quickly turned on me. It fastened its jaws around my arm and stayed there. But it was off of Bones. That was what mattered.

After that, my own survival instinct kicked it. I swung the dog around, smacked it on the nose, around its head, on its side and eventually, it let go. I managed to grab a hold of it and hauled it across the yard towards the kids’ playhouse. I threw it in there and locked the door behind it. Believe it or not, even then, it was still going mental.

Fortunately, Bones was alright, although he was scared stiff for a good long time, as was Lizzie. I on the other hand, was quite badly cut up. Flailing about as I had with the dog fasted on had torn my forearm up something fierce. I was bleeding pretty badly and ended up having to call the paramedics. The dog had torn a tendon or two, so I had limited motion in the arm.

But both my kids (and dog) were alright. Even today, I don’t really remember feeling any pain or being scared. If anything I was angry. Bones once told me that he remembers that I was screaming so loudly that he could barely hear the dog.

After some surgery I was more or less mended. My left arm still plays up occasionally. But more importantly, I have a large scar, two scars actually, from where the dog fasted its jaws on me.

Finishing my short story, I rolled up my sleeve to show Cadence. The scars are pretty faded now, but you can tell that once there was some pretty major damage.

“That’s a mother’s love right there, Cadence,” I said. “When the RSPCA; that’s the animal control people by the way, when they turned up, they collared the dog and brought it out. It was still barking up a storm. But when they brought it near me, I stared at it, and it went completely quiet, tucked its tail under its legs and everything. Because it knew that there was nothing I wouldn’t do to protect my kids.”

Cadence had been listening with rapt attention. Clearly she was surprised that the middle aged 5’0 schoolteacher had once gone completely postal, squared off with a fighting dog and won.

“Honestly, Cadence,” I went on. “Half of everything you need is already in there.” I tapped at my head. “Not everything is going to click at first. But the important stuff, the love, it’s hardwired into us. So don’t you worry; if you can manage an out of time empire, you can carry and raise a foal.”

Cadence looked across at me, smiling, and now looking far more relaxed that she had before.

“Thanks for the pep talk, Margaret,” she said after a moment. “I guess I just needed somepony to give me a confidence boost.”

“Come back and hunt me up when you get to the teenager years, you’re in for a real treat then.” I joked. The two of us laughed.

Cadence stayed a little while longer before Shining came to check on her. We chatted about my own experiences; things to expect as time passed, things to go for and things to avoid, and a general chat about all I’d been through on two separate occasions. After all, the next nine months could potentially be one hell of a roller-coaster.

After that, both prince and princess departed back to the train station, bound for home. And I was left with some time to reflect.

Talking with Cadence had brought back a lot of old memories, some good, and some not so good. I was an old hand really. I’d been through the ringer twice and done pretty well by it. And now, I was at the other end. Both my children have flown the nest, and the house is quiet.

In all honesty, that’s the hardest part of being a parent. You know you have to, but you don’t want to let them go. I suppose I’m lucky that they’re still living in my neck of the woods. It has been quite hard. Until we came to Equestria, the kids had both been a pretty permanent fixture in my life. Okay, yes they were both getting ready to fly the coop, but it was still a ways off. Bones had just finished university, and Lizzie was getting ready to start. But when we all found ourselves here, Bones took to staying with the Apples’, and Lizzie with Fluttershy. All at once, it was just me and Roger. And before long, he too was out most of the day at his job in Canterlot.

That left me alone, in an empty house. I thank God that I found that teaching job, or I don’t know what I might have done. Yes, Equestria is a land of sunshine and rainbows, but you can still get lonely given the chance.

I suppose that’s why I’ve gone back to teaching, in a way. It’s a means of filling the void left by my own children’s leaving. I’ve now got twenty odd to look after, and when they get older, there’ll be more just like them. Otherwise, I think, I’d feel pretty lost, purposeless even. Raising kids and looking after them is what I do. If I were a pony, it would be my cutie mark, like Milano’s.

Now that I thought about it. I hadn’t had a chance to talk with Milano since that little shopping trip we went on. Maybe next week I could hunt her up.

The following weekend, I had some free time on my hands, so I went to drop by Milano’s to invite her over for a coffee. She was more than glad of a little break from Button, who we left contentedly perfecting his combo techniques in some fighting game he had. Honestly, one of these days, I’m going to ask Discord to snap up a modern Xbox or PS4 and watch his tiny little mind crash. Milano promised to visit me some time in the afternoon, once she’d got all the washing done and hanging out on the line.

She was true to her word of course, and at about four in the afternoon, there was a knock at the front door. Opening it, I let Milano in and the two of us settled ourselves down on the sofa and began to natter as we always do.

We chatted about the usual odds and ends, rumours going around town, what Twilight and her friends had been up to recently, and anything interesting that had been happening in our lives. It’s amazing how, despite living in such a small town, so much happens in a small space of time. Of course, that can be just as much a disadvantage, as Spoiled Rich was finding out; Rarity, Roseluck, and the rest of the rumour mill were still telling and retelling the story of both her daughter calling her out on her behaviour in front of everypony, and her subsequent removal from the schools board of governors. Eventually, the conversation turned to our own offspring.

“Say what you like about Button,” Milano was saying. “But I know for a fact that I raised him a whole lot better than Spoiled Rich ever raised Diamond.” I nodded in agreement.

“I think it didn’t help that Filthy never really stood up to her either. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t half as mean as his wife, but if he’d just set some boundaries, the filly might have turned out alright from the get go.”

“Hmm, I can’t really see Filthy standing up to either of them though.” Milano replied, chuckling a little. “That poor stallion’s definitely a kept poodle.” I laughed myself.

“That he is,” I agreed. “Poor fellow.”

“Oh come on now,” Milano chided. “You’ve got yours on just as much a leash.”

“I do not!” I countered. Okay I may nag him a little but…Milano cut off my thought.

“For goodness sake, he can’t even pick lunch from Sugarcube Corner on his own.” I smiled at that, since it was true. Back on Earth, if we drove into an empty car park, he really had to think about which space to go in.

“That’s more his mother’s influence than mine,” I defended. “As much as I might nag, scold and hound him over things, he still wears the trousers. And he is a good father.”

“That is true,” Milano agreed, nodding her head. That brought me back to my earlier train of thought.

“Say, Milano, do you ever think about what you’re going to do when Button’s all grown up?” I asked. My friend paused and leaned back a little in the sofa thinking as she sipped at her tea.

“Sometimes, I suppose,” she replied. “I always figured that, after he and Gibson are both grown up and out the house, I’ll have a bit of time to myself. But I half expect to find myself looking after my grandfoals from time to time. Why do you ask?” I briefly explained.

“I was just thinking today,” I said. “I had Princess Cadance around a few days ago and…” Milano almost choked on her tea.

“You had Princess Cadance over?!” she exclaimed in surprise. “As in the Princess of Love, Ruler of the Crystal Empire, and wife to Captain Shining Armor?” At the mention of the Captain of the Royal Guard, her eyes got all sparkly.

“Yep, she’s dropped by a couple times to see Roger and whatnot,” I explained. “Remember they were in town the other day? Well I brought her here to get away from the crowds, and we got to talking about foals.

“And you see, that got me thinking. Both of mine are all grown up now, and if it wasn’t for teaching, I think I’d be pretty bored most of the time. Looking after kids is what I’m good at; it’s why I became a teacher. And I think you’re somewhat in the same boat. That cutie mark of yours,” I gestured to the mark on her flank. “Shows you’re a natural parent. I just wondered what you were planning on when yours fly the coop.” Milano nodded in understanding and stared thoughtfully into her mug of tea.

“I don’t like thinking about it too much,” she said eventually. “I guess I don’t like the idea of having to let Button go someday. I know I have to, but sometimes it feels as though my whole life is built up around my kids.”

Now, for the uninitiated, let me give you a little tip. When a bloke has a problem, he goes to another bloke and tells them about it. Then, they both work together to try and fix it. With women, and mares, it’s a little different. We just want to vent, we don’t want a solution; we just want a sympathetic ear. It throws a lot of guys off when we get mad at them for trying to help.

“I tell you,” I said. “For the first month or so after we got here, this house felt so damn empty. Things perked up so much after I started working with Cheerilee.” Milano held up a hoof to stop me, and briefly headed into the kitchen. She happens to know where I keep the good stuff.

“Come on then,” she said consolingly. “If we’re both going to lament the inevitable departure of our foals, we might as well enjoy ourselves.” She set down the bottle of red and two glasses, filling both quite generously. I grinned.

“What a good idea,” I agreed.

And so the two of us had a quiet drink, talked, joked, and cackled about all the different things we planned to do with our lives in our later years. Milano apparently wanted to sit down and write a novel. She’d never been able to get around to it though, due to all the time she spent looking after her kids, particularly in keeping Button out of trouble.

As for me, when the time does come to hang up my spurs in teaching, I figured that I might try and give dressmaking another go. I used to be not half bad back when I was a teenager, and I still know my way around a sewing machine. Perhaps I could do some light work for Rarity or something?

Eventually, the two of us, both just a little tipsy and giggly, decided to just sit back and watch something on the projector. By a stroke of luck, some of the DVDs and videos that came through the portal were some of my own.

When Roger got back from Canterlot, he found the two of us cackling away like mad hens and watching Sex in the City.

Quite wisely, he went straight upstairs.

Author's Notes:

Proofread by Sweetoldbob18.

for the record, the author religiously watches 'Call the Midwife'. And yes, it makes me cry.

This chapter then, is a counterpoint to 'Troubles, Struggles, and Fatherhood'. To make it clear, Margaret isn't going to find out about Roger's past life, so to speak. I just don't think i'm able to write it as a chapter, it would probably have to be its own entire arc and would take up most of the story. We've already had the fighting couples chapter, and I don't really see what opening up a forty year old can of worms would do for either the story or characters.

I've also now started working on my next story 'Adventures in the Weather Patrol'. With any luck, it will be almost ready to go when this story is complete.

Oh, hey, the story's now got 500 views too.

Chapter 15 - Nightmare Night

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We were now well on course for winter in Equestria. In spite of Rainbow Dash’s little misdemeanor at the weather factory, we would be seeing snow on the ground in a week’s time. At least, that was what was happening according to Lizzie. Cloudsdale had apparently moved Heaven and Earth in order to rebuild their snow stocks in time.

Before Ponyville was turned into a winter wonderland however, there was one event of importance to go; Nightmare Night.

It’s sort of the ponies’ version of Halloween, something that never really caught on in Britain in the same way it had in the States. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times our suburban house was visited by trick or treaters. And I never really bought into it anyway. Our kids were never particularly fazed by the idea either. School didn’t do much with it for fear of offending the Moslems or hard core Christians, and so we didn’t really notice when the calendar rolled around to October 31st. Here in Equestria, though, their version has really taken off.

When we had our first Nightmare Night here in Ponyville, Roger and I assumed it was a kids thing, and we thought Bones a little daft for playing dress up too. But as it turned out, all ponies, both young and old, feared being gobbled up by Nightmare Moon, and turned out at night with a disguise. That left me and Roger feeling a little silly ourselves. This year in contrast, we planned to join in on the fun. And so, I’d placed an order with Rarity to make me a costume.

The early evening of Nightmare Night found me getting dressed in our bedroom. Roger had already changed into his own little disguise, and I was just putting the finishing touches on my own. Rarity had done a tremendous job. I’d gone in for an old standby; a wicked witch.

No, you may not take that as a comment about my age.

Rarity had done me a jacket and dress, both black and ragged looking, along with a matching cape and signature pointy hat. Add in a fake nose from the joke shop and an attendant broomstick, and I looked the part to a T. After adjusting the nose one last time, and checking myself in the mirror, I headed downstairs.

Roger was waiting, just a tad impatient, at the bottom of the stairs in the hallway. Unlike my costume, his wasn’t meant to be scary. Unlike Halloween, Nightmare Night requires only a disguise, rather than dressing up as a monster. He’d used his own funds to splash out a bit himself and had had Elusive, his tailor up in Canterlot, make up the clothes for him.

As I got down to the bottom of the stairs, I found myself face to face with what seemed to be an old soldier. Roger was dressed in a white collared shirt with a dark green necktie. On top of that, he wore a khaki coloured jacket with green and red epaulets on the shoulders, along with khaki trousers, a dark blue belt, and the typical army boots. On his head was the famous 'kepi blanc', the white kepi of la Légion Étrangère; the French Foreign Legion. To Elusive’s credit though, it looked very much the real deal, aside from the lack of medals or rank insignia, but I put that down to modesty and respect for the real legionnaires than anything else. He grinned at me as I walked down to him.

“Well, don’t we both look absolutely ridiculous,” he commented. I shrugged my shoulders.

“Eh, no more than anypony else, dearest,” I replied. “I’m sure there’s somepony out there who’ll outclass us.” That made him snigger a little. Grabbing a small pouch filled with bits, which he attached onto his tunic’s belt, Roger threw open the front door.

“Shall we then?” The two of us stepped out into the festivities.

The sun had only recently gone down, but Ponyville was already coming alive again with ponies all dressed up in disguise. The various shops and stalls were being set up, which would sell food, toys, and of course offer everypony a chance to play those rigged carnival games. Still, it promised to be a fun night, and a chance to socialise with ponies outside of the school.

Leaving our house, we headed towards the town square where the festivities would start. Sadly, this year, Princess Luna would not be attending personally, but she did send us the usual greetings and thanks. She does enjoy this festival herself, despite her initial opposition to it when she first returned. That’s understandable though, considering she doesn’t like to be reminded too often of her misdeeds. At least, not by other ponies. Still, she loves this celebration now, since it is one of the few nights where everypony is wide awake despite the late hour.

As we made our way on, we passed all the decorations that had been hung up around the town. There were banners, bunting, lights, and spooky props hanging from the streetlamps. Costumed ponies bustled about ahead of us, and it wasn’t long before we ran into somepony we recognised. Though, in all honesty, she was the last pony I expected to see.

It was Fluttershy. Now, I know for a fact that the timid pegasus usually stays in on Nightmare Night. While some ponies might like it, she doesn’t particularly enjoy being scared. Last year, Lizzie had stayed home with her to keep her company. This year though, she seemed to be pushing the boat out a bit, a trend I’ve been noticing more and more when it comes to the Element of Kindness.

However, her disguise was, well, shall we say, a little lacking. You could tell it was her from a mile off. Her costume consisted of a long black dress, and little else. It didn’t exactly disguise her from a watchful Nightmare Moon. Still, we went over to say hello.

“Hello there, Fluttershy,” I called out as we walked up. The little pegasus startled for a moment when she saw us, but quickly fixed on us with her expressive blue eyes, and saw through our disguises.

“Oh, hi there, Margaret,” she replied after collecting herself. “Hello, Roger,”

“Hey, Fluttershy,” my husband greeted.

“I’m a little surprised to see you out here. I thought you preferred to skip Nightmare Night.” Fluttershy turned away bashfully.

“Erm, well, I thought that it was time I faced my fears,” she said. “And I didn’t want to make Lizzie miss it all again when she stayed inside with me.” It was commendable of her doing that, and it was good to see that she was doing her best to face her fears.

“So what are you supposed to be tonight?” I asked, interested to know, and not wanting to make a fool of myself by guessing wrong.

“Oh, I’m a guest at a masked ball, only without the mask,” she replied. It seemed a little silly, but it would be wrong of us to laugh, so I bit my tongue.

“I...see,” I replied after a moment. Still, it was a step in the right direction I suppose. “So is Lizzie out and about as well?” Fluttershy nodded.

“I think she was over by the apple bobbing stall,” she said. “She’s the one dressed up in the buffalo outfit.” Buffalo outfit? Ah yes, they were the Native Americans of Equestria. So I guessed we’d be looking for a pony version of Pocahontas. Or should that be Ponyhontas? I never could quite get the hang of all the puns in this world.

Letting Fluttershy go on her way, we headed for the town square and were soon weaving our way among the stalls and side shows. It didn’t take me long to pick out my daughter, even in disguise. After all, a mother always knows her kids.

Lizzie was with Rainbow Dash, who was dressed up as an astronaut. That seemed a little odd to me. As far as I know, Equestrians haven’t even launched a ballistic missile yet, or sent anything up into orbit. Where did the idea of a spacesuit come from? One of those comic books Spike likes to read perhaps? Could there be a pony version of Dan Dare? Even more strange, was the fact that the pegasus, despite wearing a full helmet, was trying to bob for apples. It was like watching a dog when it’s confronted with a glass patio door.

“Lizzie!” I called out, catching her attention. Turning around to face us, we got a better look at her. She had indeed gone for the whole Pocahontas look, She was wearing buckskins, fitted for a quadruped, with a few feathers poking out from behind one of her ears. Completing the stereotypical look was all the beads sewn on the garment along with a couple of bracelets. Leaving Rainbow to continue in her futile quest, she cantered over to us.

“Hey, Mam. Hi, Dad,” she said, briefly hugging us both. “Nice costumes. Rarity’s work?”

“Mine’s Rarity’s,” I replied. “Your father’s was made up by his tailor in Canterlot.”

“You see Fluttershy on your way here?” Lizzie asked. We both nodded.

“I’m not quite sure the poor girl’s got the right idea,” Roger commented. “But at least you aren’t spending this year all cooped up in that cottage.” Lizzie rolled her eyes at that.

“Have you seen any particularly good costumes so far?” I asked.

“Twilight and her friends have put a fair bit of effort this year. Twilight’s some sort of pony Roman soldier, Pinkie looks like she’s going to roller derby, Applejack’s a lion.” At this point, I cut her off as a thought struck me.

“What about your brother? What’s he come as this year?” I enquired. Lizzie though, shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I haven’t seen him yet.”

“Do you think he’ll be playing the mad King Sombra again?” I asked, turning to Roger. For some reason though, my husband suddenly seemed a little unsettled. A moment later, he recovered himself.

“Oh…er, I can’t see him using the same disguise twice in as many years,” he replied, a little unsteadiness in his voice. I racked my brain to try and think what he might choose.

“I wonder if…” My thoughts were then suddenly cut off.

From somewhere fairly close at hand, the three of us, and all the ponies around us, heard a sudden peculiar cry break through the usually still night air. It was a strange noise, like a sort of howling, the yip of a foxhound mixed with the screech of a banshee. I felt a shiver run up my spine as I heard it. However, it did give me a clue what my son would be tonight.

“That’s either Bones,” Roger commented. “Or a rabbit.” It did actually sound a bit like a rabbit’s squeal if I’m honest. But he was right; it was Bones with his damned silly war cry.

When Applejack is happy, excited, or elated, she will let off the typical cowpony yee-haw. Most people, and ponies, recognise it. Bones however, has his own take on it. Instead of a simple yee-haw or ya-hoo, he lets off this dreadful sounding yell as I’ve just described. The sound is sort of like this: yee-aay-eee, a high pitched yelp, a low pitched bark, followed by a long high pitched yelp, all strung together to create this eerie howl.

It was then that the silly bugger came galloping into town in his outfit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ33YFPzfro

A while back, Rarity had made him a grey shell jacket as a gift, having heard first hoof about his interest in the American Civil War. Now it was finally getting some use. Along with this grey coat, he wore his usual Stetson hat, although the brim on right side was now turned up and held in place by a small brass pin with a crossed swords motif similar to his cutie mark. In the centre of the hat was a brass badge made up of a laurel wreath, in its centre were the letters ‘CSA’. Wrapped around his barrel was a black belt holding his sword in its scabbard, a cartridge box with another 'CSA' motif, and a canteen. He cantered up to us, looking fairly pleased with himself.

“And you are supposed to be…what?” my husband asked him. In response, Bones touched the brim of his hat in a mock salute.

“Independent scout, sir, Morgan’s Brigade; Army of Tennessee, out on detached duty,” he reported, still grinning.

To this day, I’m not sure which is more peculiar, his fascination with ponies, or his interest in the American Civil War. Still, as you can see, he enjoys it. Continuing to grin, he turned his attention to our own outfits. He let out a low whistle.

“Wow, you three have really gone all out this year, ain’t ya?” he said with a bit of respect.

“And I see you finally found an excuse to wear the coat Rarity made for you, Bones,” I replied. He turned around in place, showing off.

“Do ya like it?” he asked. “All that’s missin’ is a LeMat and maybe a couple Colt six shooters. Anyway, you three havin’ fun?” I smiled at that.

“I guess so,” I replied. “Your Dad and I were planning to go around the stalls, play a few games, and then get something to eat.” Bones however, looked surprised.

“What, y’all ain’t gonna go in the corn maze?” he asked. Lizzie then jumped in as well.

“Yeah, Mam,” she agreed. “You should definitely check it out. Dash and her friends are going in there later, and it’s supposed to be really scary too.”

“Oh it is, is it?” Roger asked, with a knowing smile. “Well, then I don’t think we should pass it up. What do you think, dear?” He turned to me with his best puppy dog eyes.

“Alright,” I said. “We can make a family outing of it. But promise me, you and Bones, you won’t lose your tempers with each other when we get lost.”

With that, we headed for the corn maze.

The corn maze was a little ways outside of town and was, for want of a better word, absolutely massive. We’d definitely be getting lost. And trust me, my family do not react well to that. Still, if worst came to worst, I’m sure that Lizzie could fly up into the air and help us find our way out.

It did look quite fun though regardless. Ponies had filled it with cardboard cut outs of monsters, fake spiders, and there were even a few ponies inside, waiting to jump out and scare the unsuspecting. Lizzie in particular seemed quite excited.

“Dash says there’s a prize for the first ponies to make it to the middle,” she said, encouraging us along.

“Well, just as long as there isn’t a teleportation spell fixed to it,” Bones replied. “Ah’m not lookin’ to end up in a graveyard.” I looked at him in a bit of confusion.

“Bones, you do know that nopony gets half your references. You know that, right?” I asked.

“Lizzie’s read the Harry Potter books!” he replied hotly.

“Yeah,” Lizzie agreed. “That’s what happened in the Goblet of Fire. The prize at the centre of the maze was a port key. C’mon, Mam, how have you not read that yet? You’re dressed as a witch for goodness sake!” That made my husband laugh, an action he quickly tried to hide when I turned a glare on him.

It was then though, that we came upon our first little obstacle. Cheerilee of all ponies jumped out in an effort to scare us. An effort, which I might add, succeeded in scaring one of us. Dressed up as a zombie pony, she lunged out at us and tried to grab Bones.

He promptly screamed like a filly. Cheerilee was rolling on the floor with laughter, as were we all. The poor lad went bright red up to his ears when he realised what had happened.

“Oh, don’t pout, Bones,” Roger said. “Just be grateful Princess Luna isn't here to see you do that.” This just made him snarl irritably. Still, it’s always funny to see him get taken down a peg.

About twenty minutes later, we were well and truly lost. We’d come to dead end after dead end after dead end. True to form, neither Roger nor Bones would ask anypony we came across for help. Worse still, when Lizzie tried to fly up into the air to find the way out, she was promptly knocked out of the sky by what Bones described as a ‘Stall Field’. Apparently, they use it to prevent pegasi from flying when they aren’t supposed to, like now.

So we were stuck. We kept chatting for a while, but that soon got boring. It felt like we’d been in there for hours. In the end, it got so quiet that Roger started to sing one of the Legion's marching songs, though how he knew it I have no idea.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyqjtCzvPXs

It was then though, that we finally encountered somepony else. I spotted a figure standing pretty much motionless at the far end of the path we were on. It seemed to be facing us, but didn’t say anything. What I did know however, was that I felt that I was being watched. Still, any port in a storm, as the saying goes.

“Cheerilee? Is that you?” I called out. The being didn’t move.

“Discord!” Roger called out. “If this is one of your practical jokes I’m going to set Charlie on you again!” Still there was no reply. Lizzie tried.

“Rainbow? We can all see you. You’re not hiding.” Still nothing. Bones was about to try himself, when all of a sudden, a pair of thin, flimsy wings appeared at the pony’s side, and began to make an ominous buzzing sound.

“Oh ponyfeathers.” That was all Bone managed to get out before the creature, hissing and screeching at us, its serpent like tongue lashing out at us.

The four of us ducked as it buzzed overhead, skimming under the stall field. You didn’t need a master’s degree to recognise the black chitin, blue eyes and insectoid wings that marked it out as a changeling. Of course, this one wasn’t dangerous at all; he was a friend of both Roger and Bones. It was Strong Shield!

“Ha ha ha hah!” The changeling laughed, doubling over in mid-air. “You guys should have seen your faces just now.” He then landed a little way in front of us, and reformed his usual disguise of a dark blue coated unicorn, with an eyepatch over his right eye.

“Ah didn’t know you were in on this, Captain,” Bones said, now quite relieved. Strong Shield smiled.

“Your old man asked me to join in on the fun, Rookie,” Strong Shield replied. “We figured that I’d be perfect for this sort of thing. After all, I can take any form I need to scare ponies, and to hide from them.”

“Hide from them?” Bones asked. The changeling nodded.

“Don’t think I’m going to let you off with just the one scare, Rookie,” he replied with a grin. “I’ll be keeping tabs on you from now until you find your way out. And you’ll never know where I am, or what I am.”

With that semi-ominous warning, he took off, and buzzed away into the night to start stalking us. I turned to Roger.

“I take it you’re having fun with this too?” I asked. He nodded with a goofy grin on his face.

“What’s that old adage, Bones?” he said. “If you can see Strong Shield, Strong Shield can see you. If you can’t see Strong Shield, you may be only seconds away from death.”

We spent the next ten minutes or so in a state of perpetual anticipation. We were looking for a way out, and were also constantly expecting Strong Shield to jump out from every corner to scare us again. Neither Bones nor I reacted to this well.

As we creeped around a corner to what seemed to be another dead end, we paused. Again, I got that feeling of being watched by unseen eyes. Off to the side, in my peripheral vision, I thought I saw something.

“Ah, that rock twitched!” I screeched, pointing to a small rock on the ground. Bones quickly pounced on it, but nothing happened. We turned around and headed back the way we came.

“That fence pole is moving!” I shouted out a moment later. But again, there was nothing to be found.

“Sorry, everypony,” I said as we kept walking. “I know it’s all fake, but this maze has just put me on edge.” Roger smiled and put a hand on my shoulder reassuringly. Bones too turned back to me.

“Don’t worry, Mom,” he said reassuringly. “It’s normal to get scared, and a mite paranoid in a situation like this. What’s important is to remember is that it’s all just for fun, and nothing can…IT’S THE WALL!” In fright, Bones fired off four or five shots from his horn before he calmed down.

He finally got a hold of himself and found the three of us staring at him, doing our best not to laugh again. He meanwhile, simply went beet red, and did his best to stammer out an apology.

“You know, Bones,” Roger piped up, with a very Celestia like grin on his face. “If I were Strong Shield, I wouldn’t actually be following anypony. I’d just let them think I was. Then they’d just drive themselves nuts looking for something that wasn’t there.”

I was, to be honest, getting a little bored of being in this maze. I’d much rather be out in the town square. And Bones had promised to help Big Mac with the hayride this year. Plus, Lizzie wanted to check on Fluttershy, to make sure she was having fun and not getting too rattled. I certainly hoped that she hadn’t found her way in here. While I was letting my mind wander, Bones turned to his dad.

“Ah’m guessin’ that’s what’s happenin', right?” he asked in a deadpan tone. Lizzie too stopped and turned to glare at him as the proverbial bit dropped with a clang.

However, Roger’s reply was cut off by another voice.

“Actually, Rookie, I’ve been following the four of you for about twenty minutes,” Strong Shield said.

All three of us, with the exception of my husband, jumped again in fright, as we found Strong Shield standing right behind us, in his usual uniform disguise. The old eyepatch wearing guardspony grinned.

“Kept you waiting, huh?” he said, before hoof bumping Roger.

“Okay, that’s it!” I said in a half serious scolding tone. “First thing tomorrow, I’m sending the Princess a letter telling her to keep you two as far away from each other as possible. When you’re put together you’re almost as bad as Discord!” Roger though, wasn’t quite done testing my patience.

“Darling, is this a bad time to tell you that I’ve known the way out the whole time?”

And with that, for the second time in his life, my husband suddenly found himself airborne, courtesy of a certain unicorn’s magic.

After being suspended upside down for a few minutes, Roger finally caved in and directed us all out of the maze. I think I’ll be quite happy if I never have to see another single piece of corn again. I mean, seriously, how are mazes supposed to be fun? You just end up with people all stuck together in a confined space. And that just makes tempers flare.

At least in this family.

After setting his dad back down on the ground, Bones said that he’d be heading off with Strong Shield and asked the guardspony if he wanted to lend a hoof with the hayrides. The changeling readily agreed, switching out his usual disguise for something that looked suspiciously like a Xenomorph from the Alien films, albeit pony sized.

Lizzie too said that she would be heading off elsewhere, mainly to seek out Fluttershy to see how she was doing. To be fair, Fluttershy’s decision to join in the Nightmare Night festivities this year was quite a big step, and it would be understandable if she wanted a friend on hoof.

So, once again, it was just Roger and me out on the town. As the night wore on, I began to see some small slivers of humour in his practical joke with Strong Shield, and as we walked around the town, we chatted about how he’d set it up.

“Well, you see,” Roger was saying. “I know for a fact that Strong Shield is a total workaholic, even more so than Shining Armor. Being in disguise all the time can be pretty taxing according to him, and he uses his time off at home to relax in his normal form. So going out after work is just more strain on him, and he’s never liked having to quietly sneak the odd bit of love from ponies in Canterlot.”

“So how did you convince him to come down here than?” I asked.

“Every now and again when I see him, he asks after Bones, checks on how he’s doing and what not. He’d never admit it, but Strong Shield does see him as something of a friend. And that means a lot coming from a pony whose entire species doesn’t really have a concept of friendship. So I suggested that he come down and see him tonight. That, and he does love practicing all those fancy stealth moves of his. That Queen Chrysalis didn’t make him an infiltrator for nothing.”

“He was good, I’ll give him that,” I agreed. “I haven’t been scared like that since I watched Event Horizon.” That’s something I intend to never do ever again as long as I live, by the way.

At that moment, we found ourselves walking into the little fairground that was always set up in town for Nightmare Night. There were all sorts of those rigged carnival games here, although to the ponies credit, they were all actually fair. There were plenty of foals scampering around at the moment. While we’d all been stuck in the corn maze, they’d all gone to give their offering of candy to the statue of Nightmare Moon that’s set up just outside the Everfree Forest specially for the occasion. I quickly picked out Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo at the pumpkin toss.

I tell you, that game would make any health and safety person have kittens. The kids can set up the catapult by themselves, and then hurl a massive pumpkin down range to try and hit a target. Still, they seemed to be having fun, although Scootaloo had so far plastered a few buildings with pumpkin matter, coming nowhere near the target board. Sweetie Belle on the other hand, seemed to have got it down to a fine art.

“Hey there, kids!” I called out as the two of us walked up. “Having fun?” The trio hurried over, giving Button Mash and his friends a chance to have a go.

“We sure are, Mrs. Owen,” Sweetie Belle, who was dressed up as a vampire, replied in her squeaking voice. “We just got back from the statue with Zecora.” She gestured to their now less full candy boxes, which were shaped like jack-o-lanterns.

“Well mind you don’t eat too many sweets tonight,” I warned. Even after all this time, I call sweets ‘sweets’, not candy. “I don’t want you three to have nightmares.”

“Oh, don’t worry, we’ll all be alright,” Scootaloo replied. “Princess Luna promised to come and save us if we do have bad dreams tonight.”

“You know,” Apple Bloom added. “Blade Star told me that the idea of candy givin' us bad dreams is just made up to stop us eating too much.” The other two fillies turned to her in surprise, and then looked to me for confirmation of such a fact.

“Uh oh, darling,” Roger quipped by my side. “Looks like the cat’s out of the bag.”

I was about to reply, when we were all cut off by the sound of laughter and chattering voices. It was Twilight and the others, including Fluttershy.

In stark contrast to the last time I’d seen her, the usually shy and quiet pegasus was now disguised in what looked to be a close approximation of her Flutterbat persona, complete with fake leathery wings, fangs and red eye contacts. She seemed to be having a great time.

The three Crusaders quickly scampered over to their respective siblings and adoptive siblings to hear what had happened. Fluttershy told Roger and I the whole story.

Not long after we’d come out of the corn maze, they’d all found themselves equally lost and couldn’t find Fluttershy anywhere. To their surprise and absolute fright, they’d suddenly found themselves set upon by the terrifying, and supposedly long vanquished Flutterbat, which was actually just Fluttershy in disguise.

After that, they’d taken off at a run away from the demon and found themselves stuck in a cave with even worse monsters, before getting tangled up in the creature’s giant web. Of course, none of it was real. Fluttershy, as I said before, was in disguise. The large monster they encountered was just Harry, one of the bears Fluttershy cares for, and the huge web that entangled them all was spun specially by the spiders she looked after. A fair few of Fluttershy’s animal friends had all pitched in to make the whole thing as scary as possible, and Twilight and the others had pretty much fallen for it and were scared out of their wits. I never thought I’d see the day when Fluttershy got everypony else running scared.

That was when Fluttershy had revealed herself and explained the whole thing. While she admitted that it had been fun to dress up and scare her friends, she didn’t like the idea of her friends actually being scared, even if she knew that they were in no danger. Roger and I could both understand that as a fair point. I always much preferred the obviously fake jump scares, rather than the Shining level stuff Fluttershy had performed.

In the end, she decided that that aspect of Nightmare Night wasn’t for her. She enjoyed the dressing up and candy part, but not the whole scaring your friends out of their wits part. That, she was more than content to leave to Rainbow Dash.

“There’s still on thing I don’t get though, Fluttershy,” I said as she finished up her tale. “I can see you marshaling all the animals to help you out. But I can’t see you cooking up something as scary as all that. How did you do it?” Fluttershy turned and gestured to the companion who was currently sitting on her back.

“I had a little bit of help there,” she explained with a smile.

And there, sitting on her back , with an evil looking grin of his face, was Angel Bunny.

I think I may have to agree with Bones; that rabbit actually is evil.

Chapter 16 - Live in Concert

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Winter, Hearth’s Warming Eve, and Winter Wrap Up had all come and gone at a surprising pace. Equestria was now once again beginning to bloom again as the land shook off the last effects of winter. The snow hadn’t actually been too bad this year, but more than enough to warrant a day or two of snow days. Between you, me, and the gatepost, teachers enjoy an extra day off as much as the next pony, even if it does mean a little bit of extra work next week.

Still, that was all in the past now. The temperature was climbing, and foals were no longer traipsing in with snow on their boots, all decked out in thick coats, ear mufflers, and bobble hats, and walking half melted snow into the classroom. Nor were Cheerilee and I having to constantly put grit on the playground to stop foals from slipping up. Now it was much nicer, warm weather, with the occasional shower to help the new seeds grow. It was a more than welcome change if you ask me. I lived through one of the worst winters on record when I was a little girl; the snow stayed on the ground until late May.

Naturally, that was before global warming and climate change became a thing. Back then we just called it freak weather. I’m sure if the same thing happened today, it would trigger some daft government enquiry.

Anyway, I’m rambling on.

With spring well underway, the foals had all come back from their winter break and were steadily working their way through the spring term. With spring’s arrival, Ponyville’s entertainment season was beginning to kick off. For such a small little town, the place certainly has its fair share of shows pass through. There’s the rodeo, carnival, soap box races, magic shows, all sorts. They however, had all been entirely eclipsed when it was announced that Countess Coloratura would be stopping in Ponyville as part of the Helping Hooves music fesitval.

Now, for the uninitiated and males, let me explain. Countess Coloratura is a pony pop star. Well, no, she’s the pony pop star, even topping the likes of Sapphire Shores in overall popularity. Lizzie, and a lot of ponies around my daughter’s age, adore her music. To my knowledge, her singles have swept awards ceremonies for a few years now. So, when word trickled down that she would be doing a show here, ponies went nuts. It was to be an open air concert, with a little time after the show for the star to meet some of the foals.

That was where things got…interesting for me.

The show was announced a month in advance, and I know for a fact that almost all the foals in my class love Countess Coloratura. Have you ever tried to keep a class focused on their work when something like that is buzzing around in their tiny minds? It’s…challenging.

“Alright, everypony!” I called out. “Can we please quiet down now?”

I was standing at the front of the class, just in front of my desk, with my hands raised in an effort to get the foals to quieten. It wasn’t having that much of an effect if I’m honest. My voice was pretty much drowned out by the chattering foals, and there was only one topic of conversation.

“Have you got your tickets to the concert yet?” Dinky asked Twist.

“I heard that she’s going to come and hang out with all of us after the show finishes,” Silver Spoon butted in.

“Can you believe that the Countess Coloratura is coming here, to Ponyville?” exclaimed Sweetie Belle.

And it went on and on, chattering about the same subject, every second saw the foals grew more and more excited for something that was still a week or so off. And when you’re a kid, a week is like a month, and at this point at five minutes past nine on a Monday, I was beginning to feel the same. It’s times like this that, as a teacher, you have to back up your authority a bit. I’ve seen more than one poor substitute crash and burn trying that whole ‘I can wait’ routine. Trust me, the kids will outlast you. You need to do something to get their attention focussed back on you.

I had an old standby for this occasion, and I thank my dear old dad for telling me about it. He was in the Army you see, Royal Engineers, as a sergeant. And in the Army, there’s two simple way of maintaining order; shouting and corporal punishment, which the school board doesn’t let me do. Taking a deep breath, I let out a bellow that cut across every other voice in the room.

“HEADS UP!” I yelled. Instantly, the talking stopped and two dozen wide eyed foals were looking at me in astonishment. It was like being stared at by a load of owls.

“That’s better,” I went on, in my usual tone of voice, and volume. “Now, I know you’re all excited for the concert this weekend, but we all still have work to do. So, shall we make a start?” Nopony argued with me.

“Good. Now, if you could all take out your maths textbooks, we’ll make a start on chapter seven.”

I managed to keep everypony on task for the rest of the day. But the excitement could still easily be felt. At recess, there was only one real topic of conversation again. Honestly, if Discord had brought forth all the demons and horrors of Tartarus, I don’t think anypony would have paid him any attention. Diamond Tiara even had a record player brought from her house, just so they could all listen to the most recent single at lunch.

I had listened, at Lizzie’s request, to a few of Coloratura’s records myself too. To me, it sounded like your generic post-2000 pop songs; I quite liked it though. It wasn’t the sort of thing I remembered when I was that age, but then again, I remember standing with hundreds of other girls all screaming for John, Paul, George and Ringo. It never hurts to try new things, and some of the songs were quite good if you ask me.

Lizzie was, of course, going to the concert too, so I’d decided to join her. The music was nice enough, but it would also be a chance to spend some time with Lizzie, and I hadn’t been to a proper concert in a good long while. The two of us had pooled our resources to get some good tickets close to the stage. I was actually expecting them to turn up today in the post.

After lunch break was over, Cheerilee took the reins for a while, while I did some marking in the office. I was glad just to have a break from constant talk about Countess Coloratura. Despite my efforts, it was still a challenge keeping the youngsters all on track. The number of Coloratura related doodles I’d confiscated could attest to that.

Heading home that afternoon, I found Derpy waiting for outside the house, an envelope in her hoof.

“Hey there, Margaret,” she called out as I drew up. “I need you to sign for this.”

Reaching into her saddlebags, she pulled out a clipboard and fountain pen for me. I quickly singed for the delivery and opened it. It was what I had suspected; the tickets. I smiled.

“Thanks for getting these here so quick, Derpy,” I said, holding up the tickets.

“No worries,” the pegasus said with a goofy looking smile. “All these special deliveries give me a chance to talk to everypony. You’d be amazed how quiet a mail route can be at times.”

Glancing at her saddlebag, I saw she still had plenty of special delivery envelopes to go. I let out a low whistle.

“Wow, I guess everypony and their mother’s going to this concert.” Derpy nodded.

“It seems like it,” she agreed. “I just hope my own little muffin will be able to see everything. I haven’t been to a concert since I was a filly, and this one looks to be one of the biggest Ponyville’s ever seen.”

“Oh, you and Dinky are going too are you?” I asked excitedly. “With any luck we’ll be able to find a spot we can all share.”

I wouldn’t have minded going with Milano again, as Lizzie and I had done when we all went up to Canterlot. But she had her plate full at the moment, and neither Button nor Gibson were fans of pop music. Having Dinky and Derpy around be a nice little addition. After all, going as a pair to a concert isn’t the best way to enjoy it. You need a group so you can all get excited together.

Thanking Derpy, I watched the grey pegasus jump back into the sky and go on her way.

Heading inside, I heard Charlie barking. He bounded up the hallway and jumped up at me in his usual greeting. Despite our rocky first meeting, the disguised changeling drone seems to like me well enough. I just wonder why he doesn’t talk; Strong Shield can after all.

“Hey there, Charlie,” I said, making a fuss of him. The dog followed me into the kitchen.

Setting the tickets down on the counter along with my folders from school, I put on the record player, then sat in the kitchen and sat down at the table. Again Charlie followed, whining a little in excitement. Of course, it was obvious he wanted feeding. I’d let him feed off me a few times in the past and, while it did feel a bit odd for a few moments, I never had any serious after effects. Still, I never did get used to the strange purple haze flowing out of me and into him.

It only took about thirty seconds or so, and then he was quite satisfied. That would probably keep him going for at least the rest of the day. From what I understand, changelings are never entirely able to satisfy their hunger. Hence, perhaps, why their queen sought to use all of Equestria as a feeding ground. But they are able to survive comfortably enough with relatively little. In any case, the two of us seem more than enough for the young drone.

I took some time to relax, have a cup of tea, and read the paper, before I picked up the tickets and headed out again. I’d promised Lizzie that I would bring her ticket to her as soon as it arrived. Just like the kids at school, she’d been getting steadily more and more excited as the date of the concert drew near.

Leaving Charlie to his own devices again (he has the full run of the house, and I know for a fact that he spends a fair bit of his time reading some of our books) I left and set out for Fluttershy’s cottage.

After a short walk, I found myself outside Fluttershy’s cottage. I was slightly surprised to find a note on the front door addressed to me. It was from Lizzie and went this way:

‘Mum,
Have gone into town with Fluttershy to get more animal feed. Back around four.
Lizzie’

Well, that was clear enough. A quick glance at my watch showed that it was quarter to four already. The weather was nice enough, so I saw no reason to not hang around and wait. If I left, by the time I got back home, Lizzie and Fluttershy would have returned and I’d have to walk back. So, settling myself down by the brook that runs past the cottage, I waited. I figured five, maybe ten minutes, and they’d both be back.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t Lizzie or Fluttershy who turned up first. With his signature pop and flash effect, Discord phased into existence right next to me. His sudden arrival caught me off guard and made me jump with a start. He was decked out in what you might describe as fisherman’s clothes, and proceeded to cast a rod into the stream before deciding to take notice of me.

“Why hello there, Maggie,” he said in that irritating voice of his. He calls me Maggie ever since he found that it’s mildly irritating. “And what brings you out here this fine deeply unchaotic day.”

Now, let’s get one thing clear; I cannot stand Discord. He’s annoying, childish, irritating, difficult, and grouchy at times, and he has all the maturity of a six year old. I’m a teacher though, so surely I should be able to deal with that, right? Yeah, no. Have you ever tried to keep control over a six year old with the powers of a god? Even Celestia struggles to keep him in line. How Roger can stand him for five minutes I have no idea. I can’t stand him for five seconds; particularly after his most recent bout of ‘crashing’ on my sofa.

“What do you want, Discord?” I asked. Please God, don’t let him need to stay in my house again. Discord smiled and then adopted a near perfect poker face.

“Oh, nothing much,” he replied in an offhand way. “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry for stealing your man from you.”

Well, a historic moment, this is only the second time in his life, to my knowledge, that Discord has actually apologised for anything. The last time was at the Grand Galloping Gala, and that was only because Fluttershy asked him to. She seems to be the only one who has any real control over him, and to his credit, he seems to care greatly about her too.

But, to explain just what he was talking about, I need to tell you about my husband’s unexpected trip to Las Pegasus.

As the name suggests, it the pony version of Vegas and is just like the town on earth; a place for suckers to part with all their money. A few weeks back, Roger was supposed to be taking part in the Royal Summit, but thanks to the draconequus beside me, had been forced to step aside at the last moment. After that, Discord took him to Las Pegasus, apparently because he wanted a holiday and wanted Roger to join him. So, he cooked up some hare-brained plot to get him away from the summit.

After that, Roger’s account goes a bit fuzzy. They both had a fair bit to drink and Roger soon found himself in the local lock up. He was sober enough to send me a telegram asking for bail money, but not much else. Both were released and told not to come back to Las Pegasus ever again, and Discord deposited my husband on our front lawn, out cold.

Now, normally, that would have been enough for me to give him a proper telling off. What was more concerning though, was the fact that he’d suddenly gained an extra ring on his finger. A quick check with the registry office in Las Pegasus confirmed my suspicions. The two drunken idiots had gotten married. It was invalid of course; Roger was already married and neither of them was in any fit state to understand the vows, never mind agree with them.

It sounds like something off of Jeremy Kyle doesn’t it; ‘my husband committed bigamy with a draconequus’. Needless to say, it worsened my already dim view of Discord.

“Seriously?” I asked, looking at him in surprise. Discord however, smiled again.

“Oh goodness no,” he replied with a wave of his talon. “I just wanted to see if I could catch you off balance.” I sighed in irritation.

“What do you want, Discord?” I asked again.

“What? Can’t a guy just simply relax and enjoy the peace of fishing?”

“There’s no fish in there and you have an attention span of seven seconds,” I replied acidly. At that, he threw the rod away and, with a snap of his talons, he returned to his normal self.

“Oh fine, spoilsport,” he acquiesced. “I’m here for exactly the same reason as you; I’m waiting for Fluttershy to get back from the market. It’s time for our weekly tea together.”

Honestly, the idea of Discord calmly sitting down for tea and cakes with Fluttershy is just so…odd. It really does go against his nature. I guess it shows how far his ‘reformation’ has come, at least insofar as Fluttershy is concerned.

“What about you then?” he asked. “What brings you all the way out here? Does that cleverly disguised mutt need some attention?” Like me, Charlie and Discord have never got on.

“No, I’m here to drop of Lizzie’s concert ticket. She and I are going to see Countess Coloratura.” The draconequus shuddered.

“Eww, I’ll never understand how ponies can listen to that dreadful noise,” he complained. “I mean really, what’s wrong with a good swing band instead of that electronic drivel?” Oddly, it seems my son and Discord share taste in music.

Before I could respond to that, we were interrupted by Fluttershy and Lizzie arriving back. The butter yellow pegasus flittered over to her friend.

“Hello there, Discord,” she said sweetly. The previously complaining draconequus now became completely docile. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he liked Fluttershy as more than a friend. She certainly seems to have him pretty whipped.

Lizzie also joined us, and while Discord and Fluttershy went inside, I walked over to her and handed over her ticket.

“Hey there, Lizzie,” I said, handing her the ticket. “Here’s your concert ticket for next week. I chatted with Derpy earlier; apparently she’s going with Dinky too, so I thought we might join up with them.” Lizzie smiled and rolled her eyes.

“Okay, Mam,” she replied. “But you have to promise not to be too embarrassing. Things have changed a lot since you went to a gig.”

She didn’t mean it of course. I’ve gone with her to see One Direction and Adele back on Earth. But she liked to joke about it.

“Just so long as you don’t get too excitable,” I prodded back. “I don’t want you getting too tired and having to carry you back home again.” Lizzie laughed and tried to gently bat me with a wing.

“Thanks for bringing this for me,” she said kindly. “Say, Fluttershy’s going to be busy with Discord for a while. Want to help me feed some of the animals?”

“Sure, why not?”

Back on Earth, we used to have a little smallholding. It was nothing major, only a dozen or so chickens for eggs and a few sheep to keep the grass short. Still, it meant I was a bit more used to working around animals than some people. Fluttershy has a small flock of chickens herself, living in a little henhouse and run just outside her cottage. It was these Lizzie and I set to work on.

It was fairly easy going, just throwing down a bit of corn for them all to peck up, and collecting the eggs from the nest boxes. They all seemed to be pretty good layers given the eggs we got out from them, although one hen seemed to have decided that she was going to sit her eggs for a while.

The work gave Lizzie and me a chance to chat for a bit too, which I’m always glad for. I do like to keep tabs on both my kids, even after they’ve flown the coop. She was getting fairly excited for the concert as well. She’d even dug out a Countess Coloratura t-shirt that she’d gotten last Hearth’s Warming Eve.

Before long, all the chickens were happily scratting about in the dirt and pecking up the scattered corn. They even tried to follow us out of the run and make a break for it when we’d finished. If Fluttershy didn’t live so close to the Everfree Forest and all its predators, she might have considered letting them roam free. I know Applejack’s flock are all free range, and it improves the egg quality no end.

Leaving Lizzie’s ticket with her, I promised to stop by to meet up with her again on the day of the concert. Adorably, the little pegasus jumped into the air and did a sort of corkscrew manoeuvre in excitement.

That Saturday found Lizzie and me, along with Derpy and Dinky, and quite a lot of other ponies, all queuing up to catch a glimpse of Coloratura’s arrival. It was something, I’ll give her that. The spectacle of it all was something that I doubt even Vinyl Scratch could top, with lights, electronic music, smoke, the works really.

The Countess had a veil over her face, for one reason or another, and a fairly ostentatious outfit. Still, Lizzie was more than a little excited for it all. I was just there for the music and to spend some time with my daughter.

As with any high profile celebrity, there was quite a bit of security around her too, including more than a couple of fairly burly earth ponies that I didn’t fancy crossing. No doubt Coloratura had her share of fans that weren’t quite the full shilling. They kept the crowd back for the most part.

One pony however, did get through; Applejack of all ponies. It was hard to hear over the noise of the crowd, but from what I could make out, Applejack seemed to know Countess Coloratura, or ‘Rara’ as she called her. However, the conversation was quickly cut off by what I’m guessing was her manager, who encouraged her to move along. Leaving Applejack with one of her ‘hoofsies’, the countess strode off. I’ve never seen Applejack with such a mixture of confusion and anger on her face.

After that little ‘arrival’ we all had a bit of time to ourselves before the show started. After the rehearsal for the show was over, Coloratura was going to do a bit of meet and greet with some of the foals from school. I’d even heard a rumour that there was going to be a contest, and that the winning foal would be allowed to go up on stage and sing a number with the famous diva.

Lizzie went off for a little while to chat with Rainbow Dash, while Derpy and Dinky went to get a bite to eat. That left me to my own devices. I soon found myself walking over to the still stunned Applejack. She was just wrapping up chatting with Rarity when I found her. The fashionista was reassuring her that she would enjoy the show.

“Hey there, Applejack,” I greeted as I walked up. “I’m surprised to see you here. I didn’t know you were into Countess Coloratura’s style of music.” Applejack barked out a short laugh.

“Ah’m not, Margaret,” she replied, sounding a little sullen. “Believe it or not, Ah used to know her; we were in the Filly Scouts together ya see. She was a great singer back then too.”

“But something’s on your mind?” I gently prodded. The mare nodded.

“Ah was just sayin’ to Rarity. Ah hardly recognise her. It’s her for sure. But...she seems so different now. It makes me wonder what happened after we lost touch with each other all them years back.”

It was certainly hard for me to imagine either of those ponies running in the same circles. They seemed to come from completely different walks of life. Still, Applejack was adamant that the diva was indeed her old friend Rara. I tried to think of some advice for the mare.

“You know, Applejack,” I said at last. “I know for a fact that once the rehearsal is done and dusted, Countess Coloratura’s going to stop by and say hello to some of the foals from school, Apple Bloom included. Why don’t you stick around then. It might give you a chance to talk to her at length, connect again and whatnot.” Applejack thought for a moment and then nodded in agreement.

“That does sound like a plan,” she consented. “Ah just can’t believe one of my best friends would grow up to be somepony who says hello by stampin’ your snout with a library stamp.”

Unfortunately, my own plan of giving the pair a chance to reconcile sort of came off the tracks before it had a chance to get going. From what I heard about it afterwards, Applejack happened to overhear a conversation between Pinkie Pie, who was organising the music festival, and Countess Coloratura’s manager, a tosser named Svengallop. He was making all sorts of demands on the party planner, mainly for his own benefit, and threatening to pull Coloratura from the festival if they weren’t done.

When Applejack went to see Coloratura, she promptly told her what she had heard. But given their somewhat rocky introduction (Applejack had already made plain her dislike for the bells and whistles style of Coloratura’s music), and the fact that Coloratura trusted Svengallop almost implicitly, the two had a pretty major row. The upshot of that was that Coloratura said that she was no longer friends with Applejack.

Luckily though, with a little help from Twilight, Applejack and Pinkie were able to expose Svengallop as the jackass he was. Coloratura was furious and pretty much sacked him on the spot. The downside of that being that he’d been the one supporting her through all these shows, and his departure meant that a fair bit of the kit went too.

But, as the old adage says ‘the show must go on’. With a little encouragement from her old friend, Coloratura was able to find her confidence again and go out there. Lizzie, Derpy, Dinky and I were out there, along with half of Ponyville. The lights went down and a bunch of unicorns in the audience lit up their horns, kind of like how people used to hold up lighters back in the day.

Coloratura, I think I ought to drop the ‘Countess’ persona at this point, didn’t go for one of her famous singles, and instead brought out something new. There was no big show or any of the fancy special effects from before. It was just her and the piano, lit up by the one spotlight. All her previous costume was gone too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buuYIBejsuM

As the song began to get going, she got some acoustical backing from some of other musicians who had agreed to lend a hoof. The style was markedly different, as was her singing. It was still brilliant, heck, it was even better than what I’d heard before. Given how it related to all that had happened that day, it was clear that she’d only just recently wrote it, which only further impressed me.

But the highlight of it all was, after that number was done, Coloratura invited the Cutie Mark Crusaders up onto the stage to sing a song with her. Applejack later told me that it was the same song that the two of them had sung years ago when they were in the Filly Scouts.

The crowd of course, went absolutely wild for it, Lizzie and me included. I certainly preferred it to Countess Coloratura’s style of music. Amidst all the applause and cheers, Coloratura and the Crusaders took a bow. It sure was quite a sight; the stage lit up with lights and the crowd covered in little points of multi-coloured light from unicorns horns.

With the end of the concert, came the after party. Everypony stayed around for a good long while afterwards. After all, this was a music festival; it was more than just a stage. There was a mini market set up, similar to the one we had on Nightmare Night a few months back, selling food and drinks.

Of course, Sweet Apple Acres had their own stall selling anything and everything apple related. But with applejack and Apple Bloom both in the audience at the concert, and Granny Smith back home sleeping, it was left to the men of the house to look after the stall. Hence why I found Big Mac and Bones when I got to the front of the queue.

“Hey there you two,” I said as I walked up. “Business good?”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac replied. I ordered myself an apple fritter.

“So, what did you guys think of Rara’s performance just now?” Big Mac, never one to speak his mind, merely shrugged his shoulders. Bones had a bit more to say.

“It’s nice enough Ah s’pose,” he offered. “Ah always preferred somethin’ with a bit more swing to it. How ‘bout you, Big Macintosh?” Mac passed me a fritter and I handed over three bits.

“Ya know me, Bones,” Mac replied. “Ah’ve always preferred country music. Although singin’ in The Ponytones is helpin’ me to branch out a bit.”

Ah yes, that was another side to Big Mac; he was a marvellous singer. He, along with Rarity and a few other ponies, made up The Ponytones; a little singing group. Naturally, he has quite a good bass voice. Stepping off to the side to allow the pony behind me to have their turn, I continued talking.

“You know, Big Mac,” I went on. “I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard you sing. Rarity’s told me you have a wonderful singing voice.” Mac blushed at that, even under his reddish coat.

“Thanks,” he replied shyly.

“You ever do much singing outside The Ponytones?” Mac shook his head. “Maybe you could try some of those country music songs yourself. There’s an amateur act opening in a little bit. I’m sure ponies would love to hear you.”

I only meant it as an offhand, or offhoof, remark. I didn’t really expect Mac to go on ahead and sign up. But as I left, I heard him and Bones chatting to each other. As much as he’d deny it, Bones’ upbringing in rural Wales has left him with a fairly decent singing voice too. Not brilliant, but better than most.

Leaving the two stallions to their work, I returned to Lizzie, Dinky, and Derpy. They’d all enjoyed Rara’s concert. Dinky was still excitedly chatting with the Crusaders, asking them every question she could think of. They were still pretty hyped from being asked to go up on stage by their celebrity idol.

As I’d said to Mac and Bones, the only thing that was left now, as the festival drew to a close, was a sort of open mic for amateur acts. To my surprise, they were all pretty decent, covering a wide variety of different songs, along with a few instrumental pieces from ponies like Octavia and Fiddlesticks; one of Applejack’s relatives.

Still, I don’t think anypony was expecting those two stallions to actually come up and do a performance. They weren’t half bad either.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqbVVYD3je8

Chapter 17 - Beginnings and Endings

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I’ve met more than a few odd ponies in my time. My slightly eccentric son aside, there’s the equally eccentric Twilight Sparkle, the certifiably insane Pinkie Pie, and who can forget the physical incarnation of chaos himself? They're all a little out there, a little whacky in their own way. But they’re all good ponies, mostly.

There is one pony though, now living in town, who I regard as being crazy, rather than simply a touch eccentric. And by crazy, I mean possibly dangerous. Well, actually no, she is dangerous, she proved that on her own quite easily.

Her name is Starlight Glimmer. She’s a unicorn, and as this afternoon, she’s become Twilight’s new student in the study of friendship. The two of them are very much alike. They’re both very knowledgeable, passionate, and skilled in the use of magic. They’re both very powerful; to the point where neither of them can really trump the other. They’re both, or in Twilight’s case were, unicorns. Unlike Twilight though, Starlight has done some pretty messed up things.

I remember first hearing her name a few months back. She’d founded some kind of equality based cult out in the middle of nowhere. She was keeping ponies in this messed up town, having taken away their cutie marks. That stirred up old memories of Tirek and put me on alert, I can tell you. Twilight and her friends had taken her down of course, but she’d done a runner. After that, Roger did his best to keep tabs on her, a difficult task.

She eventually resurfaced this morning when she nearly destroyed Equestria through the use of dangerous time travel magic. She, Twilight and Spike, found themselves locked in a battle to save history. Starlight used some spell to travel back in time to prevent a key event from happening, apparently to stop Twilight ever meeting her friends. A side effect of that was that they never saved Equestria either.

Luckily, Twilight was eventually able to talk her down. She’s now befriended her and, as I said, has taken her on as her student. Still, I don’t like it; I don’t particularly like her if I’m honest. She comes across as…well…a bit like Twilight actually, but without the moral restraint or strong belief in friendship.

The mare relies on her own magic, rather than friendship it seems. She took all those cutie marks, because she associated them with the loss of her own childhood friend. To my mind, that sounds like Silence of the Lambs level of nuts.

Still, Twilight seems to have some faith in her, as do the other princesses; otherwise she’d be locked up in jail right now, a fact that my husband still occasionally moans about. The reaction to her arrival was something of a mix. On the one hand, Starlight claimed that she’d renounced her evil and Equalist ways and wanted to learn about friendship. On the other though, her magic made her extremely dangerous, which was what had got Roger brooding.

To try and ease the tensions, Pinkie Pie had organised a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party for Starlight, who was now living in Twilight’s castle. The idea was for her to get to know everypony, and for us all to have a chance to get to know her beyond the wild hearsay and accusations that we’d all been hearing. Roger and I were getting ready to go now.

“I still can’t believe that Twilight did that,” he was saying with some annoyance in his voice. “I mean, how can you just let someone who belongs in the loony bin come home with you?” I sighed; he’d been like this all morning.

Despite my own misgivings, I was inclined to trust Twilight’s judgement. Yes, ponies do seem a lot more forgiving overall, but the cost of breaking their trust is much higher. Don’t believe me; think about what happened to Discord, a thousand years, trapped in stone, completely aware. Besides, if anything did go wrong, Twilight and her friends were all around, ready to take her down. Still, I’d rather believe that redemption is a walkable, if somewhat rocky path. Look at Princess Luna after all.

“Let’s just see what happens,” I offered. “I’m sure Twilight knows what she’s doing, and I’m sure that Princess Celestia will be keeping a close eye on her too. Now come on, we don’t want to be late.”

Throwing on a jacket, I left the bedroom and walked downstairs to wait by the front door. A few moments later, a still grumbling and suspicious Roger followed. Heading out the door, we made for Sweet Apple Acres.

We arrived outside the barn on Sweet Apple Acres about twenty minutes later, and Roger was still grumbling all the time. I definitely think Blade Star gets his introverted asocial tendencies from his father; neither of them really like big parties or gatherings. They can both be sociable enough of course, but every now and then they need to take a break.

And that, it seemed, was what Bones was doing just now. As we were walking over to the barn, the main door opened a crack and he slipped out into the warm afternoon sun. Pushing his hat back on his head, he took a breath and shook his head, blinking a few times as he did so. Looking up, he quickly stopped us.

“Hey, Bones,” Roger called out, waving to him. The cowpony trotted over to us, a smile on his face.

“Pinkie caught you two as well, did she?” he asked.

“In her usual way,” Roger replied, nodding and barking out a short laugh. “Why? Did she do the same to you and Applejack?”

“Ah still can’t make out how she got into my room,” he said, with some bewilderment, before adding. “Never mind how she managed to hide herself under my bed.” He shuddered at that last part. It was understandable; I can’t think of many things worse than Pinkie Pie doing a jump scare.

“So who’s in there at the moment?” I asked him.

I had an idea to leave Roger with somepony he could talk to, while I went to see Starlight Glimmer. He seemed determined to hold the unicorn in the lowest regard. Bones thought for a moment as he tried to rattle off a list of the ponies attending the party.

“Well, Twilight and her friends are there, along with Starlight. Big Macintosh is there too, so are AB and the Crusaders.” He did his best to recall a few more names. “Er, Cheerilee, Milano, Lyra and Bon Bon, Derpy, The Doc, Bulk Biceps, pretty much everypony in town really. Lizzie too, I think she came with Fluttershy. C’mon, you know how Pinkie gets when it comes to parties.”

I nodded; too right as well. Pinkie Pie’s parties, particularly her ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ parties tended to be pretty big. The idea she had was to introduce the new pony to as many of the townsfolk as possible in the shortest possible time, thereby ensuring that they made a friend, or friends, quickly. Of course, for ponies like Bones, Twilight, or my husband, that could get a touch overwhelming. Still, at least the mare means well, and don’t even get me started on what happens when one of her parties goes badly.

Following Bones, we walked into the barn and joined in on the party.

Walking inside, we found the party to be in full swing. It was Pinkie’s usual fare; balloons, music, good food and drink, and even a few party games. The place was pretty packed too; Bones hadn’t been lying when he rattled off all those names. Between the music and the hubbub of conversation, it was a little hard to hear.

I knew pretty much all the ponies here, but one quickly stood out to me. I spotted Lizzie standing and talking with her friend Dewdrop over by the punch bowl, she was also occasionally breaking off to chat with Fluttershy, who was standing a little ways off. I don’t care what that girl says, she likes him, and judging by the shy smile, blushing cheeks, and inability to make prolonged eye contact, Dewdrop liked her too. Still, there was nothing wrong with her mother coming over to say hello.

“Lizzie!” I called out, catching her attention over the noise.

My daughter looked up just in time for me to scoop her up in a hug. I tell you, one advantage of her and Bones’ change in species is that they’re so much easier to cuddle now. I picked her up by the shoulders, giving her a chance to get on her hind legs.

“Yeah. Hi, Mom,” she replied, her voice sounding a little raspy. I let her down and she caught her breath.

“Enjoying the party?” the young pegasus asked, ruffling her wings for a moment.

“Yes, fine,” I replied. I always did like Pinkie’s parties, even if at times they weren’t exactly designed for my age bracket. “Though we haven’t seen Starlight yet.”

I must admit, I was rather anxious to see this new addition to the town. If nothing else, I wanted to know if she was going to be a problem. On the other hand, her knowledge of magic might give Twilight the odd week off. But I wouldn’t know either way until I met her. At that moment though, Fluttershy spoke up, and sufficiently loud enough to be heard over the noise. I was surprised to see her not stuck to the wall; that mare really has come a fair way in building her confidence.

“I think she’s just over there with Twilight,” she said, gesturing to where the purple alicorn stood near the centre of the room. Starlight was there with her, but had been obscured from view by a few of the ponies around her.

I stopped to chat with the trio for a few moments, the two of us grabbing a glass of punch each. It was actually quite warm in the barn, and my throat was becoming a little dry. After that brief stopover though, we both headed over to Twilight and her new pupil. Roger at last seemed to have stopped putting up such a fight about it, now that we were here.

The alicorn and her unicorn pupil were talking together, the latter looking just a little uncomfortable at all the attention she was getting. Twilight quickly spotted us and brought Starlight over to us.

“Hey, Roger, hi there, Margaret,” Twilight greeted. She then turned to the pinkish unicorn. “This is Starlight Glimmer.” I promptly extended a hand to her; old habits are hard to break.

The unicorn however, seemed somewhat startled by me, or rather us. It was understandable, I suppose. We’re completely foreign creatures here in Equestria. Aside from a couple of articles written by Twilight, and one odd rambling thing churned out by Lyra Heartstrings, you won’t find much on us. Add to that our appearance, and ponies do have a tendency to stare at first. I decided to try and break the ice.

“Yeah, we get that reaction a lot,” I said, startling the unicorn and making Twilight giggle. “I’m Margaret Owen. This is my husband, Roger. And to answer your first question, we’re both humans, from a planet called Earth.”

Starlight seemed to recover, and with some urging from her new mentor shook my hand and smiled. When it came to my other half though, she locked up again. Her eyes went wide, her ears flattened, and I could have sworn that her face turned pale.

“Hello, Starlight,” he said in a calm voice. “Enjoying your party?” I don’t know why, but it was almost as if she was afraid of him. She’d warmed up to me easily enough, so how had he spooked her?

“Or, er, yes. Thank you for asking,” she eventually managed to reply. Seeing that there was, for some unknown reason, a bit of tension in the air, I stepped in again and tried to get a conversation going. Roger seemed to take that as his cue to leave.

“So Starlight, how are you liking Ponyville so far?” I asked, taking a sip from my glass of punch. Starlight traced a circle on the ground with her hoof for a moment before replying.

“Oh, it’s pretty great here,” she replied, still sounding a little nervous. “Twilight’s been introducing me to everypony.”

“I though the best way for Starlight to get started on her friendship studies would be to meet ponies, just as I did when Princess Celestia sent me here,” Twilight explained, beaming.

“Well, you’ll find Ponyville a fairly welcoming place for the most part,” I said. “I’m a teacher at the elementary school with Cheerilee, and Roger is one of the Princesses’ advisors. Have you met our kids yet?” Starlight looked around for a moment.

“Oh, I don’t think they’re here,” she replied. “At least I don’t see any other humans around.” I smiled.

“Well, no, you wouldn’t,” I replied, holding back a laugh. “Both my son and my daughter are ponies.” Starlight naturally looked surprised. Twilight explained for her.

“They both underwent some kind of transformative spell,” she said to Starlight. “Blade Star was turned into a pony when he arrival. Lizzie on the other hoof was changed by Discord.”

Looking around, I soon picked out both of my kids. Bones was talking with his dad, while Lizzie was still with Dewdrop and Fluttershy. I pointed the both of them out to Starlight.

“You and Bones might get along pretty well. He and Twilight are good friends. In fact he was sort of in your position when we got here. Twilight kindly agreed to help teach him about his magic and how to use it. I’m sure you’d have a lot to talk about.” I neglected to mention anything about the TV show. That was something either Bones or Twilight could tell her; it wasn’t the sort of thing you just sprung on somepony.

“Bones?” Starlight asked curiously. “Why do you call him that? I thought you said his name was Blade Star.”

“Just a nickname my husband came up with,” I explained. “It sort of stuck, and now most ponies call him that.”

And speak of the devil, here he was now. Roger was still off on his own, and Bones was coming over to us. Trotting up, he extended a hoof to Ponyville’s newest resident.

“Hey there, Starlight Glimmer. Ah’m Blade Star, but most ponies round here call me Bones.” I was actually a little surprised at him. Once upon a time, it would have taken several hours of nagging to get him to go outside, never mind go and meet someone new. Yet here he was being all social.

“Pleased to meet you,” Starlight replied, returning his greeting.

“Ah see you’ve met my folks,” he went on. “But if you’ve got a minute, Ah’d love to talk magic with ya.” At this, Starlight brightened up noticeably.

“Yeah, sure,” she readily agreed.

“Ah’m a bit of an academic in my spare time, ya see,” he said. “Ah’ve been studyin’ magic ever since Ah got here as a unicorn, but my special talent is more toward defensive magic. I was wonderin’ where ya got that crystal restraint spell from. Twilight told me ‘bout it, but Ah ain’t never heard of anythin’ like it.”

“Oh, well, you see it’s actually a variant of…”

And they were off. I must admit, I sort of tuned out at that point. Bones may not be particularly powerful when it comes to magic; even he admits he can’t hold a candle to Twilight. But he is fairly skilled, and he enjoys learning all he can. As for me, there’s a reason I leave magic lessons to Twilight. It’s not that I’m not interested or anything, on the contrary, I find magic fascinating. But the level those three were chatting about was well beyond my meagre understanding.

However, it did give me an idea. Starlight had knowledge of magic on a par with Twilight. Perhaps I could rope her in to helping with magic lessons once in a while. It might be something she could do to keep herself busy, and it would be an opportunity to make some friends; something the mare needs to do pretty desperately. A few moments later though, I picked up a bit of the conversation I could almost understand.

“Well, ya see,” Bones was saying. “In my spare time Ah’ve been studyin’ dark magic. Not practicin’ it mind you, just examining it. Ah figure the best way to fight it is to understand how it works.”

“That does sound really interesting,” Starlight replied, although Twilight was now frowning.

“Anyway,” Bones went on. “Ah reckon that Ah’ve found a means of reducing mana flow to a negative state, without having to contribute equal amounts from a pony’s own reserves. All Ah need to do now is test it out.” Twilight then stepped in.

“Blade Star, no!” she said sternly. “I know you have an interest in dark magic, but I’m not letting you use Starlight as a test subject.”

“Ah'm not, Twilight. Ah just need somepony to practice it with,” he replied. He then turned to the other unicorn in the group. “Come on, Starlight.” He gestured for her to follow him, which she did. The pair quickly left through the main door, with a few curious onlookers following.

“What exactly is he doing, Twilight?” I asked, now a little worried. Twilight was still frowning and staring at the barn door they’d just gone through.

“Blade Star has had this new idea in his head for a few weeks now,” she explained. “He’s been trying to find a way to cut off foreign spells, even if a pony doesn’t have the physical energy to do so.” Yeah, that just went over my head. Twilight tried to put it in layman’s terms.

“Say I used a telekinetic spell on Blade Star. I’m more powerful than he is, so he wouldn’t be able to override it. This new spell he’s been working on though, would allow him to deactivate the spell. It wouldn’t overpower me, but it would nullify the effects of that particular telekinetic spell. He’s been tinkering with it as a way to allow ponies to resist dangerous creatures. If, for example, it had been around when Tirek escaped, ponies could have used it to hold onto their own magic.”

That did sound like an interesting idea. But Twilight evidently had concerns. And even I know that dark magic isn’t something to be trifled with.

“So what’s the problem with it?” I asked.

“Well, for starters, there’s the fact that it relies partly on dark magic to work. I’m sure you understand how dangerous that kind of magic can be. Blade Star knows to be careful, but this spell is untested, and we’re not sure what exactly it will do if it goes wrong.”

“Should we be worried then?” Twilight shook her head.

“Oh, no, it’s not dangerous per se,” she replied. “It’s just that this kind of testing should be done in a lab, not at a party with a unicorn who has only just finished fighting an alicorn across time and space.” Putting a hoof to the bridge of her snout, she sighed.

“Well, we might as well go and see what happens,” I suggested. “If it goes wrong, you can at least tell him ‘I told you so’.” That made Twilight smile, and so the two of us followed a few other ponies outside back into the sunshine.

Heading outside, Twilight and I found that ponies had all gathered around the two unicorns, to watch the spectacle unfold. They were standing opposite from each other about fifteen feet apart; duelling positions. Bones’ horn was glowing slightly with its usual dark blue aura as he prepared whatever this spell of his was. Starlight meanwhile, watched with interest.

Twilight nudged her way through the small crowd with me following at her heels. Despite her reservations, I could tell that she was interested to see whether or not it actually worked. As we got to the front of the mob, Bones spoke up.

“Right, Starlight,” he called to his new friend. “Ah want ya to hit me with a spell; any old spell will do. If Ah’m right, it should stop and dissipate. But just be ready for a feedback loop.” Starlight nodded in understanding. Lowering her head and tensing up, she braced herself. Bones too mimicked the action.

“Alright, kid,” he said with a smile. “Let’s see what ya got.”

Starlight’s horn began to glow a sort of electric blue colour, far lighter than Bones’ own, which was more the shade of Princess Luna’s coat. A moment later, she let off a spell. Her magic turned into a solid beam of energy and flew straight at Bones.

Beside me, I could tell Twilight was worried. After all, not too long ago, she’d been on the receiving end of that. I was pretty worried myself. Whatever Starlight had done looked pretty nasty, and it was heading straight for him.

A couple of seconds before the beam struck him though, Bones brought his new spell into action. I watched as the glow around his horn changed from dark blue to a jet black colour. His eyes were screwed shut and his teeth were gritted in concentration. Suddenly, his head shot up and he reached out with his left foreleg. I suspect that might have been for the dramatic effect. I wasn’t particularly bothered about it, in light of what happened next.

To the surprise of everypony, Starlight’s spell, slowed, stuttered, and finally just plain stopped in mid-air. The greenish blue beam of magic hung between the two unicorns, virtually motionless. Occasionally it juddered back and forth, trying to continue on its way, but Bones’ spell seemed to hold it firm.

The assembled crowd, Twilight and starlight included, gasped in shock and surprise. At the sound, Bones allowed himself to relax slightly, and opened his eyes. Unsurprisingly, when he saw the magic hanging in front of him, he was quite pleased.

“Yes!” he exclaimed, punching the air in excitement. “Now let’s see ya try and steal my magic, Tirek!” Grinning, he stepped to one side, out of the way of the spell.

Deactivating his own magic, and letting his aura regain its usual hue, Starlight’s spell suddenly began to continue on its way, impacting the tree just behind where Bones had been standing, partially encasing it in crystal. Twilight trotted over to him with Starlight following. Across on the other side of the crowd, I spotted Roger, who seemed to be just as surprised as anypony else.

“How did you do that?” I heard Starlight ask him.

The three ponies once again fell into a discussion about magic, one that was far more complicated that the last one I listened to. So I left them to it. I did, I think, pick up on the fact though, that the spell, while effective, wasn’t really a viable option just yet, due to the time it took to manifest, or something like that.

Anyway, leaving the trio to it, I walked over to my husband, who now looked, judging by his expression, to be in a far less grumpy mood.

“Well, you look to be less of a gloomy Gus now,” I said. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

“Eh, I guess you were right,” he confessed. “She’s a little kooky, but she seems to have given up her megalomania streak. Did you see what Bones just pulled off there?” he gestured to the grey unicorn, who was still chatting with Twilight and Starlight.

“Was just a tad impressive, wasn’t it?” I agreed. “I’m just glad he’s still using that brain of his for something besides just farming.” Roger looked around.

“Do you want to stick around?” he asked. I shook my head. I think it must have been the punch; I was starting to develop a splitting headache. I always do if I have too much of the good stuff, and for me, ‘too much’ constitutes half a glass.

“Not really,” I replied honestly. “I’ve said hello to the new arrival. I think now I just want a lie down before dinner.”

“Oh, so I take it I’m cooking then?” Roger asked, pretending to be offended.

“Practice makes perfect, dear,” I countered.

Heading back along the dirt path, the two of us headed back into town and home. We decided that, for a change, we’d take a little detour through the park. It was filled with flowers and greenery at this time of year, along with almost as much wildlife as there was in Fluttershy’s cottage. There were a few benches near the fountain and gazeebos too.

As we got near though, I picked up the instantly recognisable sound of somepony crying. Not hysterically or anything, just a quiet weeping. Rounding the corner, I was surprised to see none other than Cheerilee, curled up on the bench by the fountain, crying her eyes out. Letting go of Roger’s arm, I quickly ran over to her and kneeling down, pulled her into a hug.

“Cheerilee!” I exclaimed in surprise. “What is it? What’s the matter?” Holding her head, I let her cry and ran a hand through her mane in an effort to comfort her. It took about a minute or so before the poor mare could bring herself to say anything beyond sobs and sniffles. Roger kindly passed over his handkerchief for her.

“It’s Mac and me,” she sobbed pitifully. “We broke up.” The two of us were aghast. Hell, Roger looked like he was ready to thump the red earth pony, regardless of his chances of winning. Cheerilee went on.

“We both agreed to it,” she went on, now a little more composed. “And we’re still going to stay friends. But we just couldn’t make much time for each other; me at the school and him at his farm. So we decided to end it, at least for the time being.” That got our respective tempers to cool. Still, the poor mare was in a bad way.

“Oh, Cheerilee. I’m so sorry,” I said, pulling her close again. “Come on, come to our house and have a cup of tea.” It was all I could do really. I wasn’t going to leave the poor girl to cry on her own.

Blowing her nose once more, Cheerilee shakily got to her hooves, tears still matting her coat. If I’d had the strength to, I might have even considered carrying her. Between the tearful eyes, wilted ears and her general melancholy expression, it was impossible not to feel sorry for her. It pretty much kicked off my old maternal instincts.

Walking between the two of us, she came with us to the house. Roger unlocked the door and let us in. He headed through to the kitchen to put the kettle on. What can I say; it’s a British reaction. Whenever something bad happens, you have a cup of tea first. I remember, when my dad died a few years back, sitting in his old house, sipping tearfully on a bitter cup of PG Tips in an old, slightly stained mug, with half stale biscuits to go with it. Cheerilee was just as receptive and gladly took the mug from the tray.

Slowly but surely, she told me the whole sad story. She’d been telling me a few days ago that it had been a while since she and Big Mac had had a chance to do anything. Their schedules just kept clashing. When she had a day off, he was hauling produce up to Whinnyappolis, when he had a day free, she was stuck marking tests. Despite living in the same town not five miles from each other, the pair existing in something that was almost a long distance relationship, rarely getting a day together.

And, let’s be honest, their relationship was always a bit of an odd one. Sure, Cheerilee, like most mares, had a healthy interest in Big Mac, much to Applejack’s chagrin, but it wasn’t until after the two inadvertently consumed a love poison and almost tied the knot, courtesy of three certain fillies, that either thought anything of a relationship.

They both liked each other, and when the opportunity presented, they had a great time together. But opportunity was a very fleeting thing. And where was such a relationship going; marriage? Neither party was interested in settling down just yet. But the relationship they had wasn’t the best either.

So, while Starlight’s party was in full swing, the pair had quietly gone out to one of the orchards to talk. It was a long and difficult decision, but in the end, they both decided that parting ways was for the best. That didn’t mean either of them found the separation pleasant.

I sat there, and consoled my friend as best I could. I wanted to, at first, dissuade her from breaking things off with Mac. After all, her current plight was not the result of leaving a loveless relationship. I even considered asking a favour from Princess Cadance to try and patch things up. After all, her signature spell was known for allowing ponies to realise their love for one another, and it had worked on Bones, so I had no doubts about its effectiveness.

On the other hand though, I realised that, as much as I wanted to help, there was nothing that I could really do. The two had made their choice, as painful as it was, and I had to accept that.

After a few hours of sobbing, lamenting, ranting, and raving, Cheerilee was composed enough to head back home. I walked the road to her own little house with her, promising to take over the next week of school so she could have some time off to get her head straight.

“No, no, no, Margaret,” Cheerilee insisted with a wave of a hoof. “Trust me, that’s the last thing I need. The best thing I can do is get back to work to keep my mind off it. Although I do appreciate having you around to talk to.” She nuzzled me affectionately.

“Alright, Cheerilee,” I agreed. “You know best.” Reaching her front door, the mare jumped up onto her hind legs and hugged me one last time before going inside.

It was now early evening and as I headed back home, the market square was fairly quiet, apart from a few ponies packing away their stalls. Among them, I picked out the Apples’ little shop, and pottering around it, I spotted the familiar orange form of Applejack. I decided that it was best that we compare notes.

“Hey there, Applejack,” I greeted, somewhat subdued as I walked up. She turned around at me call. I could tell by her expression that she’d been dealing with the same problems as I had.

“Oh, hey there, Margaret,” she replied, just as subdued. I stuck my hands in my pockets.

“I just got Cheerilee home. How’s Big Mac holding up?” Applejack paused in her work and turned to face me, taking her Stetson off her head.

“Ah’ve never seen him so sad,” Applejack said, with a shake of her head. “He’s just been up in his room all evenin’, curled up on his bed; won’t say a word. Granny Smith’s sitting up with him now, talkin’ to him, tryin’ to help him through it.”

She didn’t cry, but I happen to know that Applejack cries on the inside. And boy was she crying now. I sat down next to her one of the crates that were piled about.

“He’ll come around in his own time,” I offered reassuringly. “I just hate to see them part like this.”

“Yeah, me too,” Applejack replied. I patted her on the shoulder comfortingly.

A week later, and things were slowly getting back to normal. Starlight had settled down into life in Ponyville and the two broken hearts in town were slowly beginning to mend. At school, I had noticed that Cheerilee was starting to perk up again, putting more passion into her lessons and regaining that fire that marked her out as a brilliant teacher.

Mac too was also getting back on his hooves. He was answering me now when I talked to him at the stall, and he was starting to smile again. I guess, with it being his first relationship, albeit a high school sweetheart one than anything else, it had hurt him more than it had Cheerilee. It had knocked his confidence for six too. But he was slowly getting back to his old self. But hey, all things in their own good time, right?

So, Starlight’s arrival did mark out a bit of a watershed moment I suppose. I see her around town every now and then. She gets on well enough with her new mentor, and she occasionally talks with Bones. Unfortunately, a lot of ponies are still quite suspicious of her; small towns for you. My own attempts to include her in magic lessons, despite Twilight’s backing got shot down in flames by the parents. I think the mare really needs, above all else, a friend she can talk to and confide in. It’s just a shame that she hasn’t be able to get in touch with that Sunburst fellow she used to know as a filly. Perhaps I could head up to Canterlot and Celestia’s little school up there. Surely they’ll have some record of where he went.

In any case, things at the school have once again returned to their peaceful and comfortable routines. I have to admit, that is what I really like about school. It’s rewarding work, but comforting too. My time here has almost bordered on idyllic on occassion; a far cry from the rough low class schools I started out in. I may be getting on in years now, but it’s going to be a heck of a long time before anypony or anyone can tell me to hang up my spurs.

Epilogue - Free at Last

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It was four or five days after Twilight and the others returned from their brief trip up north to the Crystal Empire. Dear Cadence had finally popped and the extended royal family now had a new addition in the form of little Flurry Heart; the first natural born alicorn in quite some time.

I’d heard about the whole thing, both from Twilight, as well as from what I read in the papers. In the latter’s photographs on the new parents, I couldn’t quite believe that Cadence, barely a week after giving birth, following an easy labour I might add, already had her figure back. She was as thin and youthful looking as ever, and made pretty much every mother in Equestria feel jealous and briefly visit the gym in an attempt to get their weight down.

I just felt sorry for poor Shining Armor. In all the photos, he looked far more haggard and worn out, with a ruffled mane and a fair amount of dark blue stubble growing all over his snout, never mind the bags under his eyes and the generally spaced out look. I guess you could work out which one of them was doing the night time feeding.

The little foal was so adorable though, with large, oversized wings and an adorable little face. I’ll be honest; I’ve never liked the Cakes’ foals. It’s something about those soulless eyes of theirs, and the fact that one of them likes to walk on ceilings in the dead of the night, gurgling ominously all the time. Still, Flurry Heart was a cute little baby, although her alicorn magic was making for some problems. It was lucky that they were able to put the Crystal Heart back together in the end.

It was also nice to hear that Starlight had indeed met up with her old childhood friend, Sunburst. The stallion had done alright for himself. While not excelling, he was still very knowledgeable, and his quick thinking had earned him a place in the imperial family’s inner circle. From what I understand, he is now something along the lines of a godfather to Flurry Heart.

And speaking of godfathers, Roger has been in the papers recently too, due to the part he played in busting up that mafia ring. I’ll admit, I was quite worried when I heard that he’d been investigating organised crime, even if it was just the pony version of it. Still, at least he wasn’t in Tartarus when he was doing that.

The whole thing had happened just as little Flurry Heart was having her ceremony. In five or six different cities, Royal Guard, local police, and even the Griffon military had taken part in coordinated raids to arrest all the higher ups in this syndicate. From what Roger told me, the entire thing went off without a hitch. He even helped one pony and his family get a second chance at life. He’s now back to working with Celestia in court most of the time.

Not much else has happened really. At the end of the day, I’m just a schoolteacher; action and adventure rarely come my way. The only other big incident that I can think of happened a few months ago during Hearth’s Warming Eve.

We both get our fair share of cards from friends in town and beyond. They all come in similar looking white envelopes, and there usually isn’t anything too remarkable about them. However, the couple of days before the holiday, Roger had a letter post marked from Canterlot. He’d had a few from up that way, a couple from the princesses, a few friends in the Royal Guard, along with a few nobles. A few of these came in nicer looking envelopes. So I wasn’t surprised when the cream coloured envelope, bound with a red wax seal on the back, landed on our doormat. It was addressed simply to ‘Roger’ with a post mark that indicated that it came from the headquarters of the Royal Guard in Canterlot Castle. It struck me as odd that there would be no address.

I managed to catch Derpy up a little way down the road and asked her about it. I was actually quite curious as to how such a simply addressed letter had made it through the postal system. The mailmare told me that it had arrived courtesy of a runner from the guard, with instructions for to deliver it here. Other than that, she didn’t know any more than I did, and was just as perplexed by the whole thing.

Heading back home, I showed the letter to Roger when he got back. He was glad to have another card. Grabbing a letter opener from his office, he peeled off the wax seal. As it turned out, it wasn’t a card at all, but a letter. I didn’t see what it said, but it ran for a couple of pages and was written entirely in cursive in ink. The reaction in my husband was almost instantaneous. After reading perhaps one or two sentences, his eyes went wide in fear and he dropped the letter. I asked him what was wrong, but he didn’t reply. A moment later, he picked up the letter, stuffed it into his coat pocket and dashed out the door, saying only that he needed to see Twilight.

Twenty minutes later, he came back, much calmer, and apologised for rushing out. He explained that the letter had come from a prisoner that he had helped put away. And while it didn’t say anything outright, it did make a few veiled threats. He had Spike contact Princess Celestia, who had now apparently cleared the matter up. She even sent a letter back, apologising to the both of us for the breach in security.

That was all in the past now though. Both Hearth’s Warming and little Flurry’s arrival had come and gone, and things were now settling again into their usual quiet routines. Roger was still working in Canterlot on weekdays, but as of a couple weeks ago, he was no longer required to work in Tartarus. I was fine with that.

We’d had Celestia, Luna, and Discord around for a little get together not too long ago as well, which had been nice, if a little stressful for me. Now though, one of the best times of the year was coming up. Today was the last day of the school year. When the bell rang at three o’clock this afternoon, Cheerilee and I would be on holiday for the next six weeks.

The day was coming to an end; the last day of the school year. The excitement in the air was palpable as the foals all tried their best to keep themselves from jumping up and down in their seats. Cheerilee and I were feeling just the same; in another half hour, no more marking, no more tests, no more lesson plans for six weeks.

We’d already made out plans, just as the kids had. Cheerilee needed a break, and a good time. So, she, Milano, Lizzie and I were all going on a weekend trip to Las Pegasus, staying in one of the nicest hotels in the city.

“Alright, everypony, calm down,” I called out. “I know it’s nearly the holidays, but we’ve still got one more lesson to go.” The kids let out a collective groan.

“Oh, c’mon, don’t be like that,” I replied, smiling.

I quickly set them their last bit of work, after briefly teasing the possibility of homework over the holidays. What can I say, all teachers are a bit of a sadist at heart. It wasn’t anything too taxing for them, just a couple of maths worksheets to complete. They all settled down to it fairly quickly, leaving me to relax for a moment, sitting down at my desk.

I began rooting through one of the desk drawers. As it was the last day, today was the day that all the ‘contraband’ that Cheerilee and I had confiscated over the year was returned. There were yo-yos, comic books, slingshots, and that one copy of Playcolt (I’d be having serious words with Snails’ parents soon enough). With the exception of that last item, they’d all be returned to their rightful owners, with the warning not to have them out in class again.

At that moment, Cheerilee walked into the classroom, causing a few heads to look up. She trotted over to my desk and we had a little natter.

“Ah, holidays at last,” Cheerilee said, with some relief. “As much as I enjoy teaching all these colts and fillies, a break is always nice too.” I smiled at that.

“I hear that,” I replied. “You looking forward to our trip next week?”

“Of course,” Cheerilee replied with a nod of her head. “It will be nice to get back out there.”

Ah yes, after an acceptable amount of time moping around after she and Big Mac broke things off, Cheerilee seems ready again to put herself out there. Of course, going to Las Pegasus, she isn’t looking for anything serious. Like the song says; girls just wanna have fun. As for me, I did rather fancy a night on the town. Heck, I can’t do worse than Roger when he went there. Although I do hope I’m allowed to go back to Las Pegasus sometime after we’ve had our fun. He still can’t remember exactly what he did you know.

In any case, it would be fun for both those married and the single mares. Milano and me were quite happily spoken for, but that wouldn’t stop us from having a fun girls’ weekend out with our friends.

The clock was ticking ever closer to three, when the last bell would go. Most of the kids had finished up their work, and we were letting them just chat amongst themselves, quietly of course.

“What about you Apple Bloom?” Cheerilee asked. “Are you doing anything fun over the summer vacation?” The Crusaders all looked up and nodded enthusiastically.

“We sure will, Miss Cheerilee,” the little filly replied. “Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and me are gonna see about getting’ our…” she paused. “What did ya call it again Sweetie Belle?”

“Our consulting office,” Sweetie Belle replied.

“But it’s still the clubhouse though, right?” Scootaloo checked.

“Sounds like you three have a pretty good business start-up going,” I offered kindly. “You three really are becoming quite famous in town.”

“Yeah, as opposed to infamous,” Diamond Tiara added, for once good naturedly.

“Look!” Apple Bloom suddenly piped up. With a hoof, she pointed toward the clock. The second hand was ticking down the last minute. In a little tradition that I think most schools had, we all counted down.

“Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…one!”

With all the foals cheering, the bell let out its familiar shrill ring. Cheerilee and I also let out a welcome sigh of relief.

“Okay, everypony,” Cheerilee called over the noise. “That’s it. Enjoy you summer vacation.”

“We’ll see you all in September,” I added.

With that, the excited foals all charged out of the school and headed for their homes, all of them paused to wish us all well on our holidays. A few moments later, the once packed classroom was empty, save for me and Cheerilee.

After checking that all the foals had found their parents or guardians, and were safely on their way home, Cheerilee and I began to close the school up for the summer. As ever, we stacked all the chairs, tidied up the classroom and our office, turned off all the lights, locked all the doors and windows, and generally made sure that everything was ship shape and Bristol fashion, as the saying goes.

With everything sorted, we headed outside and locked the front door and the gate behind us. I wished Cheerilee well, and told her that I’d drop by her house on the morning that we were all due to catch the train to Canterlot. From their we’d take an airship, as well as a cloud walking spell, up to Las Pegasus.

“Well, enjoy the next couple days to yourself, and I’ll see you when I see you,” I said to her, briefly hugging her in fond farewell.

“Have fun yourself, Margaret,” Cheerilee replied. “Trust me, this vacation will go faster than you think.” Laughing, the two of us parted.

I decided to take the scenic route back home, heading over the bridge towards town hall. I stopped for a while on the bridge and looked down into the stream. The water level had dropped a bit but it was still flowing pretty full. The only time it didn’t was when there was a drought, which was rare considering the whole weather control ponies have, or when they dammed a portion of it up to use as a track for that soap box race they have for siblings.

As I was staring down into the clear blue water, I heard the tell-tale whoosh sound of a pegasus passing overhead. Looking up, I spotted Lizzie. She was stunting; pulling all sorts of crazy manoeuvers that would make even a Harrier pilot jealous. Close behind was Rainbow. The mare’s become something of a mentor to her over this past year, showing her the ropes of flying and weather control. Now it seemed she was teaching her stunt flying. Well, being a Wonderbolt reservist, I guess she is qualified.

“Nice one, Lizzie,” I heard a voice call out, catching my attention. Looking up across to one of the river’s banks, I saw Blade Star and Applejack sitting together watching the display.

“I didn’t realise you two were here,” I said walking over to them both. “What brings you two out here than?” Bones gestured to the two pegasi.

“Lizzie’s tryin’ to learn some of RD’s tricks,” he explained. “She wanted me an’ ‘Jack to come watch. Ya know, have an audience and everythin’.”

At that moment, Lizzie and Rainbow Dash pulled another manoeuver. Pulling up into a dead straight climb, they kept going until they ran out of speed, and began tumbling back down. Then, they began to criss cross over each other, with only a few feet between them, before finally pulling out a little way above the ground. I let out a low whistle.

“Wow,” I exclaimed. “I didn’t realise that she’d gotten so good.” Applejack nodded in agreement.

“Eeyup,” she agreed, mimicking her older brother. “One year after becomin’ a pegasus pony, and she's already learnin' tricks. She’s certainly a better flyer than Scootaloo.”

“AJ!” Bones admonished, elbowing her and smiling. “Ah know you’re the most honest pony in Equestria, but ya don’t gotta be quite so blunt about it.”

Lizzie and Rainbow now stopped their routine and hovered about fifteen feet up and called down to us.

“Hey, Mam!” Lizzie called out, waving a hoof. “What do you think? Dash says I’m almost good enough to apply for the academy like she did.”

“You certainly put on a good air show, sweetie,” I called back.

“And what do the country bumpkins think?” That got her a blast of light blue magic, courtesy of her big brother, which she deftly dodged. “I’m just kidding!”

I laughed at that. Even as ponies, in a new world, the two siblings were still the devil to each other at times. Leaving the four ponies to their private air show, I continued to make my way back home.

Huh, I guess I hadn’t realised, but I do think of our house as home. I wonder when that happened. When did I start thinking of Ponyville, or Equestria as my home? In all honestly, it was probably the day I landed a job teaching here. In one short year I’ve laid down a lot of roots, made lots of friends, and the odd enemy. I’m not sure even if I did find a way back to Earth that I’d take it. Hell, I probably wouldn’t. Because this place is my home.

Getting to the house, I unlocked the front door. I quickly found myself accosted by Charlie, who was very happy to see me again. Making a quick fuss of him, I took off my jacket and hung it on the hook. Then, with the disguised changeling still following me, I plopped myself down on the sofa.

I let him feed off me for a moment to keep his strength up. Then I went over to the little store case where we keep all our film reels. Heading over to the projector that was placed up against the back wall, I put in a copy of some old Coronation Street omnibus. Then, pouring myself half a glass of wine, I let myself relax until Roger got home.

Author's Notes:

Proofread by Sweetoldbob18.

Well, as they say in the movies, that's all folks! I hope you've all enjoyed this story. I'm currently working on the next right now. I've got two chapters written, and I'm working on the third.

The story should hopefully be up by the end of next month. I'm afraid that I've somewhat lost my mojo a bit this week though. We had the last of our pet dogs put to sleep on Wednesday, so i'm still feeling kinda down. Still, on the other hand, I've got an invite to an assessment centre for the police, so that's one step closer to a long term job.

Anyway, feel free to comment below, and I'll see you all when the next story goes out. As always, I'll post a blog for it, tagging 'My Family and Other Equestrians'. As long as you've favourited that, you'll get a heads up.

Lessons From Ponyville Elementary

by Blade Star

Prologue - Just When I Thought I Was Out...

Chapter 1 - Extracurricular Activities

Chapter 2 - Parents

Chapter 3 - Special Assignment

Chapter 4 - Long Term Relationships

Chapter 5 - Visiting

Chapter 6 - Grand Galloping Gala

Chapter 7 - A Brief History of Griffons

Chapter 8 - Slice of Life

Chapter 9 - Dreamwalking

Chapter 10 - Shopping Spree

Chapter 11 - How to Land a Type 40 TARDIS (and Other Vital Skills for the Modern Pony)

Chapter 12 - Bob

Chapter 13 - End of an Era

Chapter 14 - Call the Midwife

Chapter 15 - Nightmare Night

Chapter 16 - Live in Concert

Chapter 17 - Beginnings and Endings

Epilogue - Free at Last