Twilight and Discord are a long way from home, and have to journey through a chaotic realm to get back to Equestria. Fortunately, this is Discord's speciality, so Twilight is in safe hands. Less fortunately, all the local gods want him dead.
Twilight and Discord are a long way from home, and have to journey through a realm of madness and chaos to get back to Equestria. Fortunately, this is Discord's speciality, so Twilight is in safe hands. Less fortunately, all the local gods want him dead.
Twilight wasn't sure how she came to be here, hurtling downward through a pitch-black void at what felt like terminal velocity. It was all so disconnected from where her mind insisted that she should be. One moment she was getting lunch, and the next she was here, and she didn't even remember the transition between those moments. Now here she was, falling through total darkness, screaming at the top of her lungs, and with no idea how any of it happened.
Neither the desperate flapping of her wings nor attempting to self-levitate with her unicorn magic seemed to help. In fact, her magic didn't even respond. It was as if she had somehow run out, but that surely wasn't possible. It made no sense. This was like a nightmare. Only it felt too real to be a nightmare. Everything was too vivid. Twilight could feel it all, from the air resistance as she fell, to the strain on her throat from all the screaming, to the biting cold that made the endless darkness feel even more empty.
"Help!" she cried out. "Somepony, anypony, please help me!"
She couldn't even see her own hooves as she lifted them to wipe away her tears.
"Please..."
Then a familiar chuckle echoed in her mind.
"Somepony, Princess? How predictably equicentric of you. Just for that, I think I might not save you at all."
Twilight's eyes widened.
"Discord?" she whispered. "Discord, help! I'm falling, and I don't know where I am!"
"I don't suppose the thought occurs to use your wings?"
"I can't! My magic isn't working either! Please, I don't know how much longer I have!"
"Okay, okay! I'm on my way. Describe your surroundings."
Twilight was about to speak, but words failed her. Was that a joke? Was he serious? If the latter, then how did Discord not know where she was if he could hear and talk to her?
"Helloooooo? I can't help if you don't work with me here!"
"I... I'm nowhere! It's just darkness!"
For a moment, Discord was silent. When he spoke again, it was a grave severity that she wasn't used to hearing in his voice.
"Alright, listen carefully to me. I need you to concentrate on all your worst memories."
"W-What?"
"Bad memories, Twilight. I need you to focus on them. But nothing sad. That's very important. I need moments of shock, anger, and confusion. Concentrate on those. Remember how you felt. Don't question me. Just do it."
Bad memories that weren't sad. Twilight wracked her brain desperately, trying to think of any. All of her worst memories were moments of loss and loneliness. She could think of times that she'd been afraid, but fear wasn't always angry. All she could think of right away was...
The maze. Discord's games, and his dirty tricks, and what he'd done to her and her friends. All the ways he'd broken their minds and twisted their personalities into something ugly. There was so much fighting and hurtful words, and their friendship had almost ended thanks to what he'd done. Those moments were so heated, but also so confusing. Twilight channelled those memories, as instructed, drawing on all her feelings of outrage towards Discord and frustration with her friends.
His voice returned, snapping Twilight out of her haze.
"Excellent! Hold on, I've got you!"
There was a flash of light, so bright that it was almost blinding. Out of the darkness below her, Discord's face emerged from a swirling orange portal, giving her a cocky grin. He grabbed the edges of the portal with his hands and tore it wider, revealing a purple vortex on the other side. To Twilight, it looked like she was about to fall into a whirlpool.
She screamed as she fell through, the portal snapping closed behind her. Then she kept on falling through the vortex. Inside, the energy swirled around her, forming a tight funnel that twisted forever downwards. It was like being inside a hurricane, surrounded by pure chaos on all sides. The vortex crackled and flashed at random, pulsing with eldritch power. Electricity danced on the edges, always threatening to close in and shock her.
Discord chased Twilight down, flapping his wings until he was falling in tandem with her. With a brief smile, he twisted himself upright and moved in front of her as they continued to fall.
"There we go!" he said, dusting off his hands. "Feeling better now?"
"I would if we could stop!"
Immediately, Twilight's momentum ceased, and she felt a sensation of weightlessness on her body. She couldn't perceive a magical field around her, but that wasn't out of the ordinary for Discord's magic. Her heart was still pounding, and she had to take several deep breaths, but at least it was over now.
Twilight looked over to Discord, who casually floated next to her, still wearing that smug grin of his. She pulled him into a hasty hug, closing her eyes and giving a long sigh as she did.
"Th-Thank you, Discord," she said, her voice slightly shaky. "I don't know how I would've gotten out of that one on my own."
Discord's grin seemed to have disappeared when she opened her eyes again, but it quickly returned as she let go of him and backed away.
"Of course! What are friends for, right?"
Once her breathing was under control, Twilight cleared her throat and dried her eyes.
"Where was I just now?" she asked. "And how did you find me?"
"You were in Svartalfheim, the Great Abyss." Discord leaned back and rested his head on his own arms, as if lying in a hammock. "Not sure how you managed to end up there, but of all the places you could've gone to, that's probably the worst. I expected nothing less from you. So what was it? Teleportation accident?"
"I... I don't remember." Twilight looked down and away from Discord, towards the edges of the vortex. "Where are we now?"
"Muspelheim. Better known to ponies as the Warp. This part of it we're in now is called the Eye of Chaos. It's perfectly safe so long as I'm here to keep it under control."
Twilight looked up at Discord.
"And how did you find me, again? What was all that about thinking about my bad memories?"
Under Twilight's scrutiny, Discord's smile slipped away. He averted his gaze and gave a short cough.
"Well... I'm the Spirit of Chaos. I'm attuned to that sort of thing."
Twilight blinked.
"Do you mean... you can hear me any time I'm scared?"
Discord rubbed the back of his neck.
"Not when you're scared," he muttered. "I can hear you when you panic. Fear isn't chaotic by itself."
"But how? How does that work?" Twilight moved closer to Discord, making him back away from her. "Is it part of your magic? Can you do that for everypony? Or everyone? Is there a range on this ability? Wait, do you use this power to spy on us?"
"Okay, I think that's enough question-answering for today!" Discord shoved Twilight away. "It's time we got you home to your little tree-castle. I don't think this realm can handle any more of your insatiable curiosity."
Before Twilight could react, Discord flew down into the vortex, spiralling along the outside. The spell that he had been maintaining to keep her weightless expired. Twilight plummeted once more, and still her wings and magic were failing her. This time, however, she refrained from screaming. She had to trust that she wouldn't be in any legitimate danger. Discord's humour was frequently annoying, but to her knowledge, it had yet to result in actual physical harm.
As Twilight fell, Discord continued circling the outsides of the vortex, descending at the same speed as her. She briefly glimpsed him snapping his talons, but there was no obvious effect. Then he snapped again. Still nothing.
"Is something wrong?" Twilight called out.
"No! It happens to everybody! It's nothing to be ashamed of!" Discord replied.
Twilight rolled her eyes, and Discord tried and failed again at whatever he was attempting. A frown crossed the draconequus's face.
"Actually, this might be an issue. Hold on, Twilight. We're going to have to take the scenic route back to Equestria."
He tapered off from his spiralling descent and began to fall down the middle of the vortex with Twilight, but far quicker than her. Twilight angled downwards, trying to catch up, but Discord with a straight posture was much more aerodynamic than she was, and he seemed to have no trouble outpacing her. Then, far below, a portal opened, similar to the one that Discord had opened before. This one was green, and something churning and grey waited just on the other side of it.
"Brace for impact!" Discord called.
Impact?
There was a splash, and the grey seemed to swallow Discord whole. Twilight's eyes widened. She went to pull up, but her flight still wasn't working, and Discord had left her almost no time to react anyway. She shot through and hit the water hard.
Initially, Twilight expected the impact to give her a concussion. Instead, she somehow emerged on the other side with only a terrible sense of disorientation as gravity changed directions, as well as a very sudden chill. She held her breath and struggled to right herself. There was light somewhere to her left, so that seemed to be the way to the surface, and sure enough, she was already drifting towards it.
Then there was a groaning somewhere below.
Oh no.
Twilight looked down, or in the direction that she thought was down, and saw a monstrous squid creature with thousands of eyes coming her way. Bubbles flew from her nose and mouth, and she tried to swim away from it, but her wings got in the way. Fortunately, it was not long before she breached the surface anyway, buoyancy carrying her away from the beast regardless of her swimming abilities.
Once free, Twilight shook the water from her wings and tried to take flight, only to be reminded yet again that she couldn't right now. With no alternative, she began paddling towards a nearby rock.
Before she could make it, a tentacle closed around one of Twilight's legs and dragged her down. She slipped beneath the surface, in the grasp of the creature. To her surprise, her breathing didn't seem to be impeded at all. There was no air bubble around her, and she couldn't feel any gills, but she seemed to be able to breathe water just fine. More of Discord's handiwork, no doubt.
That didn't solve the immediate problem, however. One of the creature's many slick, slimy appendages was now curling around Twilight's midsection and slowly crushing her. From between its clusters of eyes, a mouth revealed itself, filled with thousands of jagged, razor-sharp teeth. Then it began to pull her towards it. Not for the first time that day, Twilight screamed, and tried and failed to summon her magic.
I'm going to die, she thought. I'm going to die here, and I'll never see my friends again.
There was a flash, and the ocean was gone. The monster's eyes all widened in unison, and Twilight slipped completely out of its grip. Both of them fell, the monster shrieking and wailing the whole way like a dying cat. As she twisted in the air, Twilight could see that they had both been teleported a mile upwards, and were now falling back towards the ocean.
"Alley-oop!"
From out of nowhere, Discord barreled into Twilight and caught her in his arms, falling with her the rest of the way. Twilight squeezed her eyes shut, but they shot open again when she and Discord bounced off the surface of the ocean like they'd hit a trampoline. Meanwhile, the squid monster fell straight through, drenching them both in the splash even as they rocketed back into the sky.
Once they reached a certain height, Twilight felt the weightless feeling from before return, and Discord flapped his mismatched wings to hover beside her.
"Ta-da!" he said, stretching his arms out either side of him.
Shivering and soaked in seawater, Twilight could only glare at Discord, who kept smiling back at her regardless. He was just as drenched as she was, but he plainly didn't care.
"...Well, that could've gone worse," he said, cheerfully, arms dropping to his sides.
"Speak for yourself!" Twilight snapped. "I was almost eaten by that thing!"
"But you weren't!" Discord slapped her on the back. "Congratulations! I knew you had it in you! The Deep Ones have nothing on Twilight Sparkle!"
Twilight kept frowning for a while, but eventually sighed and gave up. Discord, meanwhile, began looking around erratically, before summoning a telescope to examine the horizons. This prompted Twilight to look around as well, and the first thing she noticed was the clouds.
The sky above them was entirely covered in black and grey, and the clouds were at a great altitude as well. This was unusual to see. Most of the Equestrian coastlines had proper weather management, just like the midlands, and there was usually no point to having clouds out over the ocean. Was she really so far out to sea that she was looking at actual wild weather? If so, just where exactly had Discord taken her?
"Uh... So, where are now?"
"Jotunheim," said Discord, throwing away his telescope and donning a pair of reading glasses. "Another of the Realms of Chaos, but less actively chaotic than Muspelheim. Hopefully, I can make a more stable portal here."
He summoned a map, which he began poring over, not looking directly at Twilight as he muttered to himself. Eyes still on it, he snapped his talons, and then looked aside at the portal he had created. This one was yellow around the edges, and smaller than a dinner plate. It sputtered and died in seconds. Discord raised an eyebrow, and Twilight did the same.
"I'm honestly not sure what this is." He shrugged and removed his spectacles. "My magic is working fine otherwise, and I shouldn't have trouble with a simple little thing like cross-realm teleportation."
Twilight gave a sardonic smile.
"Well, you said it yourself. It happens to everybody."
"Haha," Discord said, dryly. "But this actually doesn't happen to me. Something's off with the realms themselves, and I'm not sure what. I didn't have any trouble opening portals to anywhere else, but for some reason, the way back to Equestria is blocked."
There it was again. That sense of gravity and seriousness in his voice. It felt wrong hearing Discord talk like that. It brought to mind their first meeting, the one time when Discord wasn't just being annoying or making stupid decisions, but had instead been actively trying to destroy her. Twilight's smile disappeared, and her brow knit.
"We are going to be able to get home, right?"
"I hope so..." Discord whispered.
"...Okay, that's it."
Twilight tried to move out in front of Discord. Since her wings were no good, she just flailed her limbs and pushed herself through the air until she was in his way and commanding his attention.
"Discord, I'm very thankful that you came to help me, but right now, you've landed us in what sounds like serious trouble. I need you to explain to me what's going on. Can you give me a clear answer, please? What is all this, and what do you know?"
Discord looked out across the ocean, and then back to Twilight. With a sigh, he crossed his arms and pouted.
"What do you know about the Nine Realms?" he asked, joylessly.
"Nothing," Twilight replied. "This is the first time I've heard the term."
"Well, then let me give you the short version."
Discord clapped his hands together. When he moved them apart, a small-scale model of the solar system appeared between them. Twilight's eyes widened. The models were in motion, with the sun, moon, and other planets all orbiting the Earth in as close to an accurate representation as possible.
"Your planet, Earth, Equus, whatever you want to call it, exists in a wide universe. I'll spare you the astrophysics lesson and assume you already know all about that, and that your telescope is for more than just making Princess Luna swoon."
He clapped again, crushing the model. When he drew his hands apart once more, this time there was just a model of the Earth, much larger this time, with a glowing red outline around it. Twilight blinked.
"Your world is special. We call it the Borderworld, because for whatever reason, it's chock full of portals and gateways to other universes, such as the one your mirror relies on, and it has a habit of growing pocket universes around itself."
Discord pulled his hands further apart, and the red glow stretched outwards from the Earth in both directions. When it finally snapped away from it, the glow formed into eight red orbs of light that resembled the Earth.
"There are eight such pocket universes now, each one about the size of your entire solar system, and each one containing a parallel version of it in its entirety, including Earth."
Finally, the representations of the planets all turned to dust and blew away on the wind. Discord's arms fell to his sides. He looked at Twilight with a half-lidded expression.
"Collectively, Earth and its eight parallel versions are the Nine Realms, connected to each other by magic as ancient as the worlds themselves. You ponies are familiar with a few, even if you don't know it. The breezie homelands, the Dreamscape, and even Tartarus itself are all located elsewhere in the Nine Realms from Equestria.
"Somehow you ended up in the Great Abyss, one of the Realms of Order, and now I've taken us away to a different realm, but for whatever reason, I can't take us straight back to the Borderworld. I don't know why, but I can only assume that something is reinforcing the dimensional walls around us. Maybe it's natural, or maybe something wants to make sure our coming here is a one-way trip. I may be able to get us back home, but it could take a while."
Twilight stared blankly at him.
"Does that answer your questions, Princess?"
"It, um..." Twilight cleared her throat. "Yes. Thank you."
"Good. Because I'm not your teacher and I don't like giving lectures. You want to play student again, ask Princess Celestia." He rolled his eyes. "And ponies wonder why I prefer not to answer their questions."
Her lips pursed, Twilight looked down at the ocean.
"So, you're the expert. Where do we go from here?" she asked.
Discord shrugged.
"No idea. Let's just pick a direction and hope for the best."
In time, the churning grey ocean and endless cloudy skies gave way to land, albeit land engulfed by an impenetrable blizzard. Twilight's teeth chattered as she drifted behind Discord and into the heart of the storm, wrapping her wings around herself. Below them, a sheer cliff rose over a stony shore, waves crashing against the rocks. Atop the cliff itself, a thick white blanket had settled, and the wind howled as it whipped at them with a furious intensity unlike any Equestrian weather.
Raising a paw in front of his face, Discord summoned a shield to deflect the worst of it. The cold began to abate, though not nearly fast enough. He glanced behind at Twilight, and frowned when he noticed her discomfort. With a brief snap of his claws, a scarf appeared and wrapped itself around her neck. Her shivering eased, and she let out a sigh as a spell woven into the fabric spread warmth through her body.
"Thank you."
"You had better get over this soon," said Discord, as he turned his eyes forward again. "I'm not going to carry you forever."
"I don't know what this is," Twilight murmured. "It's like my magic just isn't there. It feels like what Tirek did."
The two of them descended towards the white expanse. Discord's shield touched down first, instantly melting the snow beneath them and clearing a circle before they landed together. The surrounding snow reached to Twilight's chin, hindering her view even more than the blizzard was already doing, but Discord, being much taller standing, didn't seem to care.
Idly, he scooped up some snow in his paw and stuffed it in his mouth, chewing it like it was gum.
"You still have a cutie mark, so I doubt it's that bad," he said, his mouth full.
"I'm serious, Discord. I'm really worried about this!"
Discord rolled his eyes.
"Okay, fine. Let's stop and check."
Spitting out a test tube and catching it with his tail, Discord whirled around to face Twilight, and pinched the tip of her horn. He closed his eyes, and suddenly, Discord went eerily quiet. Twilight hadn't even had time to react, and was left no choice but to stand still while he held her horn. Her eyes drifted across the limited area that she could see, and she shifted awkwardly as their mutual silence stretched on, until Discord eventually broke it.
"What on Earth..." he muttered, furrowing his brow.
When he finally opened his eyes again, they immediately shot to Twilight's flank, which he gave a suspicious look. Without warning, he reached down and grabbed it with his claw.
"Hey!"
Twilight's outrage lasted for all of two seconds, as Discord scratched away at her cutie mark and it flaked off like dried paint. Her jaw dropped, and she looked back to the draconequus in front of her, who only gave her a grave look. Twilight reached for the cutie mark on her other flank herself, and it too flaked away when she rubbed at it. A shiver that had nothing to do with the wind ran through her.
"Wh-What is this? Please tell me this is you?"
Discord grabbed the test tube that he had been holding in his tail and started inspecting it.
"Sorry, but you were right to worry. Your magic is gone. The colour in your eyes is an illusion too."
"Gone? But where did it go?" Twilight shouted. "Who took my magic, Discord?"
"Most likely a resident of the Abyss. There are a few possible culprits lurking in the dark there, dwelling in the cracks in the walls between worlds. But it doesn't really matter. Whoever did this, they are small and irrelevant, and I will deal with them myself after we've gotten you home safely."
Discord tossed away the test tube.
"The better question is, why is the background chaos so low here?"
Twilight blinked.
"Low? We're in the middle of a wild blizzard!"
Discord flapped his wings and took to the air again, and Twilight once again found herself floating after him beyond her own control, dragged along as if by an invisible rope.
"Wild blizzards are dime-a-dozen, Twilight. Not every species in existence are such control freaks that they feel the need to seize total control of otherwise autonomous natural processes. Wild weather is normal. And that's just the problem. This all feels... normal."
They stopped abruptly, and Discord held up his hands to the sky. With a big, sweeping motion, he parted the clouds, a booming shockwave blasting them away and letting sunlight spill through. He put his hands on his hips and pouted at the sky.
"Blue. Blue sky. In Jotunheim. This is one of the Realms of Chaos! Who got all this order all over my dimension?"
Twilight was about to say something, but Discord turned to face her first, throwing his arms up in the air as he continued ranting.
"Can you even imagine what this is like for me? It's as if I spent hours carefully making sure that all my books were in one nice big disorganised heap, and then some stranger came into my home and sorted them alphabetically just to annoy me. Eugh."
For some reason, Twilight could only think of one response right away.
"...You have a book collection?"
"Not the time," Discord snapped. "And seriously, if you're trying to make this a bonding thing, don't bother. You won't relate to my taste in literature. You freaked out after I read one little book vaguely related to an empire I toppled ages ago."
"Of course I freaked out! You were being really scary! Good guys don't smile when they talk about bad things they did!"
Discord groaned and grabbed his head in both hands.
"By Chaos, would you just let it go? Do we really need to go through this every time? You know what? I'm not even sorry about it! The dragons would've enslaved or eaten you all if it weren't for me. I did Equestria a favour. You're welcome!"
The sky above them was already growing cloudy again, dragging the world back into darkness. Twilight decided not to argue the point with Discord. Instead, she thought more about her missing magic, and contemplated his words about the creatures of the Abyss.
Nothing good came to mind when she imagined what manner of creature would or could do such a thing. Tirek had needed Discord's own help to become powerful enough to freely steal an alicorn's magic. These beings apparently needed no help at all. Not to mention it seemed as though they had abducted her from across dimensions without leaving her any memory of it, and had even gone as far as to use illusions to hide what they did. But then why didn't they return her home if they already went to all that trouble? Why leave her in the Abyss for Discord to find?
Unless the illusion was meant to fool Discord specifically?
Twilight opened her mouth to voice her thoughts, but instead, something different came out.
"Is that a castle?"
Her attention had snapped ahead instead, to a great stone fortress that rose out of the snow. Its battlements were draped with red banners bearing a white sigil of an apelike skull, and cannons lined the top wall. Tiny figures marched across them and stood guard atop the highest towers, looking almost like ants from their height. Twilight stared at the castle, entranced, all previous thoughts deserting her.
What was I going to say before...? Something... Was it important...?
They came to a stop, mid-air, the castle still a fair way ahead of them. Discord raised an eyebrow at the sight, but said nothing, while Twilight studied his face in an attempt to understand what he was thinking.
"So... should we go down there and ask for directions?"
"We're not lost," he said, simply.
"I thought you said you had no idea where we were going?"
"I didn't then. I do now. We're going the right way."
Instead of elaborating, Discord snapped his claws, and the two of them disappeared in a flash. When they jolted back into reality, they were standing on the ground again, once more surrounded by snow. Discord walked forward with a casual gait, the snow melting in front of his steps, clearing a path for Twilight as she trotted after him.
Looking ahead, she beheld the stone walls of the castle looming over them, the skull banners fluttering in the wind. Bright orange torches burned defiantly in front of its walls, on braziers that stuck out of the snow to mark a path to the castle's front gate. A lifted drawbridge blocked their way, but there was no moat, unless it was frozen over and buried underneath the snow.
Above them, one of the figures she had spotted earlier noticed their approach. Twilight couldn't tell who or what he was, as he was clad in thick winter furs and covered his lower face with rags, but he definitely had hands instead of hooves. The guard gripped a torch in his left, and pointed a crossbow down at them with his right. Discord raised both of his own hands in response, watching the figure warily.
"Who goes there?" the guard shouted, in a gruff voice.
Twilight held her tongue for a moment, wondering what to tell the stranger, but Discord soon answered for them.
"Loki of the Lost River, and his companion, Sigyn of Goldfeather!" he shouted back, affecting a rougher voice than was usual for him.
Her eyes shot over to Discord, but he ignored her, instead staring up at the battlements with an uncharacteristic grimness.
"What is your business?" the guard called.
"We are travellers, bound for the north! Might we seek shelter here on our journey?"
"One last question first, traveller. Who is the one true lord of these lands?"
Discord paused. Twilight noticed a slight smile tug at the edge of his lips.
"The Skeleton King of the Court of Bones, of course," he answered.
The guard walked away, the light of his torch disappearing from view. For a while, Twilight and Discord stood silently in the snow, waiting. Then the drawbridge began to lower, and Discord confidently strode towards it. Twilight followed, and caught his eye when he looked her way.
"Loki?" she mouthed, but Discord just held a finger to his lips.
On the other side of the drawbridge, a trio of bipeds just like the guard waited for them. Two of them were clad in furs just as the gate guard was, and wore the same ragged masks. Sheathed swords hung at their sides, and they held torches of their own. The third was different, dressed only in white hooded robes, and appearing unarmed.
Twilight balked as she took in the robed one's shaggy brown mane and vivid yellow eyes. They were as yellow as Discord's own. The guards shared the look, now that she could see them up close. And then she noticed the batlike wings protruding from their backs. Twilight recognised these creatures. They were gargoyles, of the same species as Scorpan, the brother of Tirek. But what were they doing here, in this alien realm? Gargoyles were meant to be native to eastern Thoroupe.
"Greetings, travellers," the robed gargoyle rasped. "Any who recognise the Skeleton King's rightful claim are welcome in the jarl's castle."
He gave them a predatory smile, which Discord matched. The gargoyle's skin sagged around his neck, and Twilight noted the bags under his eyes and a broken blood vessel or two near where his hair was thin enough to see them. She hadn't seen enough gargoyles in her life to tell for sure, but all the traditional signs of advancing age were there.
"We thank you most humbly," said Discord, half-bowing. "Perchance, might we partake in the night's feast with the rest of the castle? We can pay if need be."
"Visitors are welcome to the castle's meat and mead, provided your welcome is not overstayed. We provide shelter for travellers, but not for beggars. Will you be gone on the morrow?"
"Doubtless."
The old gargoyle nodded and led them in, the drawbridge closing behind them. More burning braziers rounded the outside of the snowy courtyard they crossed, and Twilight watched the guards up on the battlements all around them. In the centre of the castle was a great keep, a pair of enormous wooden doors big enough to march an army through marking the entrance. They hung open invitingly, a warm glow spilling out from within.
"My name is Carthfried of Gaulmore," said the robed gargoyle. "I'm steward to the jarl."
"I am Loki of the Lost River," said Discord. "My companion is Sigyn of Goldfeather."
"So I heard."
The three of them entered the open doors, and Twilight let out a sigh and removed her scarf. The cold was banished the moment they crossed the threshold, entering into a great hall lit by dozens more braziers. Several long tables stretched out before them, all filled with gargoyles speaking and laughing and stuffing their faces. The table was lined mostly with meat and fish, the sight of which made Twilight go slightly green, especially when she passed one gargoyle who was busily devouring a whole pig's head. But there were also boiled vegetables, wheels of cheese, roasted nuts, and the occasional sweet pastry as well, all more familiar to her Equestrian sensibilities. It all smelled delicious, in spite of everything else.
Carthfried led them to the far end of the hall, where another, much shorter table sat atop a raised platform. Behind it sat a young gargoyle with an iron crown, who lounged on a simple wooden throne as he sipped red wine from a brass goblet. A wide spread, which included a far greater number of pastries than the other tables, lay before him. He looked up at Discord and Twilight as they entered, narrowing his eyes and smiling at their approach. Twilight felt distinctly unsettled by the way his gaze lingered on her.
They climbed the raised platform together, until the three of them stood before the jarl's table.
"Loki of the Lost River, and Sigyn of Goldfeather, my liege," said Carthfried.
The young gargoyle only continued to smile, his piercing yellow eyes almost covered by the fringe of his long, flowing mane.
"Always a pleasure to make acquaintance with new guests," he said in a slick, oily voice. "You especially, my dear, are of a sort I have never seen before. I find your appearance quite striking. I would most love to know more about you."
Twilight blinked, unsure of how to react, and did not say anything. The jarl turned to Discord next, his smile wavering slightly.
"And you, sir... You are a draconequus, are you not? Perchance, are you from one of the tribes to the east? Winter Sons, perhaps?"
Discord simply smiled back at him. "The Winter Sons are southern; I'm a northerner. And in any case, my tribe and I parted ways long ago. Now I am but a wanderer, providing my service wheresoever it is needed."
The jarl nodded to Carthfried, who slinked away quietly.
"Strange. With mutations like yours, I would've taken you for one of their shamans."
"I dabble, I shan't deny."
Was this truly happening? Twilight almost couldn't believe what she was hearing. This was actual insight into Discord's past and the nature of his species. Until now, he'd never even confirmed that there were draconequui other than him, but apparently there were whole tribes of them here. And others that were similar to him, at that. And was he telling the truth about where he came from? Was this realm Discord's birthplace?
Carthfried returned shortly, placing a pair of chairs and extra plates in front of them, before leaving again. The jarl bid his guests to sit down with him, while Carthfried instead went to sit at the closest of the long tables, alongside the guards and other castle staff. As they took their seats, Twilight subtly directed a questioning look towards Discord.
What are you doing? What is all this for?
To her surprise, she heard Discord's voice respond in the back of her head.
I need information. Just play along for now.
He looked away and pretended not to notice her, but Twilight couldn't help but openly gawp at him after that.
Was that mind reading?! Nooooo... No, that's not possible! You can't read minds!
Oh no, of course not. Sure, I can rewrite your very personality and twist you into something entirely unlike yourself, alter your memories, take you over and turn you into a puppet, even remove your brain entirely, while you're still alive, so that you can hold it in your own hooves, but nah... Reading your thoughts, that's beyond my power. Honestly, Twilight, you're so dense that light bends around you. How do you think we were communicating in the Great Abyss?
She almost began spluttering, but then the jarl's words pulled her back into reality.
"Is something wrong, my good lady?" he asked. "You seem... disturbed."
"I-I... No. Everything's fine, um... my liege?"
The jarl chuckled. "Please, call me Wulfred."
He reached a hand across the table and placed it over one of Twilight's hooves. Again, her eyes shot sideways to Discord.
Make him stop, she whispered in her mind.
Why? Discord replied.
He's making me uncomfortable.
Then tell him to knock it off. What do you expect me to do?
I don't know what to say!
Heaven's sake...
"So tell me about yourself," said Wulfred. "What species are you? Once again, I must confess to having never seen your like before. I would be most interested to learn."
"She's a pony!" Discord said cheerfully, leaning over the table. "I found her in a hedge maze one day, took her in, fed her, clothed her, and we've been happy together ever since."
"Oh, certainly!" said Discord. "She's the light of my world! Every day has been a new adventure for us, and don't even get me started on the nights!"
She kicked him under the table, but he just kept going
"Seriously, don't trust that meek exterior. She's quiet now, but get her hot and bothered, and she's quite the screamer. I swear, this mare could wake the dead!"
Now it's you that's making me uncomfortable.
And now you know not to bother me to solve your trivial problems. Grow a thicker skin, Twilight Sparkle.
"Speaking of," Discord continued, "will chambers will be provided for us? Your steward seemed to imply as much. We would need quarters with a large enough bed for two."
Just what do you think you are doing?
Don't get your tail in a twist; I'll sleep on the ceiling.
Wulfred gave a small cough into his hand.
"Uh... yes, that can definitely be provided..."
"Excellent." Discord began helping himself to a plate of salty fish on the jarl's table, biting their heads and tails off and leaving the rest.
"Oh, yes! Please, forgive my forgetfulness. Both of you, help yourselves."
A slight rumbling of the stomach reminded Twilight that she had visited three different worlds since the last time she'd eaten. The fish and meat at the table was unappealing to her to say the least, but the rest of it looked better. Twilight took her plate and began stacking it with boiled greens and carrots by hoof. Then she ran into another problem. No magic didn't just mean no spells. It also meant that she couldn't physically hold utensils anymore. They no longer stuck to her hooves.
Uh...
She was tempted to ask for help, but somehow, it seemed like a bad idea right now.
"So, how about you tell us about yourself next?" said Discord, chewing on his fish heads. "How long have you been in charge here?"
Wulfred perked up. "A long time! Next month will mark the fourteenth year since I took the title of jarl from my father. We will be having a troupe of performers here for the event. Grand stuff! I do so love the arts."
"Don't we all?" Discord grabbed a flagon of wine and poured out a glass for himself. "And you're all sworn to the Skeleton King?"
"Ah, yes..." Wulfred's good mood seemed to die. "It was... a necessary concession, to preserve my land and good standing. He has been expanding his borders for years now, and it was only natural that the Stormcliffs would be in his sights eventually. But, I firmly believe that our new lord has the right of it. His forces supplement my own, and they keep the raiders out."
"Raiders?" Twilight repeated, the food in front of her still untouched.
"Raiders, yes. Draconequui, as it happens. They dwell in the east and make occasional forays into my land. In the past, we brokered alliances with some of the more cooperative tribes to keep such activities off my side of the Lost River, but..."
"They've become unruly as well?" Discord suggested.
"Precisely."
"And would this be before or after you started flying the Skeleton King's banners?"
Jarl Wulfred shifted uncomfortably. "Well... it was some time after, yes."
"Hmm." Discord gulped down his glass. "Not surprising. The tribes have always hated the Court of Bones. Too orderly for their tastes."
"Everything is too orderly for those damned savages," Jarl Wulfred grumbled. "I'm too orderly. This castle is too orderly. Of course they don't like feudalism, but Jotunheim has suffered in anarchy for too long. The old gods are gone, and they should accept it. I, for one, don't want to be beholden to chaos anymore. It's time we brought some real civilization to these howling wastes. Goldfeather crowned a king, and they didn't immediately turn into a brutal dictatorship, so why can't we give it a try? Let the Court of Bones claim their dominion. I welcome the rule of law."
"Hear, hear," said Discord, toasting the jarl's speech, though notably not smiling anymore. "I too despair for the tribes sometimes. My people are all just so... stuck in their ways. Too attached to their freedom. Why, I think being told what to do by some smarter folk would be good for them. Teach them their place."
"Hmm." Jarl Wulfred nodded approvingly. "You're clever for a draconequus. I suppose travelling far from home is good for broadening one's horizons."
"Oh, you have no idea..."
It was at this point that Discord finally turned his attention to Twilight again. She paled as he looked between her and her untouched plate, and smiled slyly at her.
"Aren't you hungry today, Sigyn?"
The jarl noticed too, and furrowed his brow. Twilight said nothing outwardly, but gave Discord her best glare.
"There's nothing wrong with the jarl's feast, is there? I know meat isn't to your taste, but the rest of this should suite your delicate palate."
Stop it.
"Oh, I know what it is! The plates!" Discord slapped his forehead. "I'm so sorry. Should I go get your feedbag?"
You're really going to do this? You really have to embarrass me in front this world's nobility?
Always, Twilight. Always.
Well, she wasn't going to play that game. Twilight cleared her throat.
"Actually, I'm feeling a little under the weather. I'm sorry, Wulfred. It was wonderful to meet you, and I'm grateful for your hospitality, but I have to go lie down."
"Oh." The jarl looked surprised, but dutifully stood and reached across the table to shake her hoof. "Likewise, very glad to have met you, my dear. I hope your illness abates soon. Carthfried!"
The jarl's steward was up from his place and over to the table in seconds.
"My liege?"
"Please show our honoured guest up to the guest chambers. The large room, if you please."
Carthfried bowed, and beckoned Twilight to follow him. Together, the two headed out of the great hall and through a small passage by the side of the room, leading to a spiral stairway at the end. As she left, Twilight looked back at Discord and shot him a cocky grin of her own.
Bring some food up later. Then you can start explaining yourself at last.
The bedchamber that Carthfried led her to was spacious and luxurious, or at least it seemed so by the standards of the rest of the castle. Fine paintings hung on the walls, the servants had started a fire in a large stone hearth, and rich velvet covered the soft feather bed where Twilight curled up to rest. A nearby bookshelf taunted her with its vast store of knowledge on this new, alien realm, cruelly held out of reach by its unfamiliar language.
As she closed her eyes and let the warmth of the room lull her into a peaceful rest, Twilight thought on the day's events, and considered all that she had observed with Discord.
They had come to a strange land, where draconequui and gargoyles roamed freely, yet ponies were strange and exotic. Discord had called it one of the Realms of Chaos, and implied that it was his in some capacity, yet it seemed his hold over it was slipping. Was this the natural march of time, the civilizations of this world finally making progress, something that Discord would have disliked no matter how natural it was? Or was this Skeleton King that everybody kept mentioning a malignant force that truly shouldn't be here?
And then, what of her plight? Why had she been taken to the Great Abyss? Who took her magic, and why didn't she remember them? Were they the same entity that was vexing Discord so, and preventing them from getting home? Questions upon questions, and she was stuck here with the one individual in the world who was least likely to provide helpful answers even if he knew them.
Still, I should be grateful to him... Twilight thought, turning over on the bed. Even if he is still a jerk sometimes, I wouldn't have ever escaped the Abyss without Discord.
Suddenly, Twilight jolted awake as a crashing noise sounded outside her door, followed by the breaking of glass and a loud groan. She didn't register the strange, echoing effect of the cry at first, and rushed blindly to the door. With her clumsy, magicless hooves, she twisted the knob and pulled it open, rushing outside.
A little way down the hall, a robed figure was doubled over on the floor, his back to her. The figure's fine embroided clothes were now ruined by deep red stains, as was the carpet near him. A wooden crate full of smashed wine bottles lay on the floor, leaking their contents everywhere.
Twilight gasped and galloped over to the stranger.
"Oh my! Sir, are you okay? Do you need any help?"
The stranger pulled himself up, groaning again. This time, Twilight noticed how his voice echoed, as if he were speaking with many voices at once. He staggered, slowly turning around to face her, revealing not a gargoyle's face, but a gargoyle's bare white skull. The red embers which glowed in the pits of his eye sockets stared at her, and his exposed teeth made him look like he was giving her a macabre grin.
"Help?" the skeleton repeated.
"U-Uh... Um..." Twilight took a step backwards, her heart rate rising.
"You want to help me, fleshy?"
The skeleton advanced, the wine stains on his fine robes doing nothing to make him look less terrifying to Twilight.
"I, um... Y-Yes, if you'd like."
She started to sweat.
Please be friendly. Please be friendly.
"You can give me your skin," the skeleton said.
Not friendly! Not friendly!
Twilight turned away and bolted down the corridor, screaming at the top of her lungs. Behind her, she heard the skeleton's footfalls as he gave chase.
"Come back here!" he roared. "Let me eat your skin!"
Twilight Sparkle reached the top of the staircase and burst through the wooden door, emerging into the freezing night air. It had gotten darker since her arrival at the castle, and the blizzard was worse than ever, but still she galloped out onto the ramparts. The skeletal gargoyle followed close behind, his wine-stained robes billowing in the winds.
Two fur-clad gargoyles worked the snow ahead of Twilight, one shoveling it over the side of the wall, and the other salting the path. She screamed to them for help as she ran by, startling them both and making one drop his torch and shout a curse after her. But neither made a move to help, even as the skeleton weaved between them in pursuit, yelling threats of his own.
"Get back here and let me skin you, small quadruped! It will not hurt if you only remain still!"
This can't be happening! Help me, Discord! Can you hear me? Please, I need help!
There was no answer, and Twilight was running out of breath. She wasn't even halfway across the ramparts yet, and already she was starting to slip and slide. The guards with the salt clearly weren't doing a very thorough job. She wanted to scream, but nobody would hear her; the wind was too loud to even hear herself think. Even the shouting skeleton behind her was becoming indistinct.
As Twilight ran, she struggled to keep her balance on the slippery ice. The castle courtyard loomed below to her left, without so much as a guard rail to protect her, so she hewed to the right instead, hugging the battlements. With no magic to steady herself, Twilight grabbed ahold of them by hoof, and pulled herself along, skating over the ice and occasionally having to maneuver around a cannon. She looked back at the skeleton, who was also having balance problems. He slipped while trying to give chase, rattling as he fell on his face.
Twilight allowed herself a brief smile.
Up ahead, another guard was shouting something at her while waving his torch back and forth, but the storm was deafening by now. She began to hear him more clearly as she slid closer.
"...Inside! Get inside!" he yelled frantically, barely audible over the storm.
"Why?" Twilight shouted back.
"Frost giants!"
That was all he felt the need to say. The guard ran past, heading across the wall walk in the direction Twilight had just come from. Spiked boots on his feet prevented him from slipping on the ice, much to her envy. Since she had none of her own, Twilight kept dragging herself along the battlements to the far end. She still had to escape the skeleton before she worried about whatever he had been raving over.
Suddenly, a set of bony fingers closed around her neck and pulled her down. Twilight and the skeleton both fell over and slipped towards the edge. She grappled with her attacker and tried to flip them over, but he pinned her down against the icy stone. His perpetual grin and the red glow emanating from his eye-sockets made Twilight's blood freeze in her veins.
"What is your problem?" the skeleton shouted in its echoing voice. "I told you, just let me eat your skin, and this will all be over quickly!"
Twilight kicked up with a hind leg, striking the skeleton's pelvis. To her surprise, he howled in agony and let go of her, cupping his hands over non-existent genitals. Twilight didn't question the logic of it, but instead shoved him off and struck him in the skull as she climbed to her hooves. Then she brought her hoof down again.
"Argh!" the skeleton moaned. "Stop it! Stop it, fleshy!"
Twilight didn't relent, only hitting him harder, again and again. She had no idea if it was even possible to knock a skeleton unconscious, but she wouldn't know unless she tried.
A warhorn sounded in the distance, making Twilight pause mid-stomp. She looked around for the source of the noise, until it came again from the castle tower ahead of her. Through the white haze of the blizzard, she saw a fiery glow at the top of the tower. The skeleton, recovering from Twilight's attack, stopped to stare at it with her, his expression still frozen in a perpetual grin. But this time, when he spoke, there was something that sounded like fear in his voice.
"No, no, no!" The skeleton scrambled to his feet and tried to get an even footing on the ice. "Not now! Please, not now!"
Twilight looked out across the battlements, towards the land outside the castle. The blizzard was getting worse; the snow was so thick that Twilight's view was nothing but a wall of white. But above the howling wind, she heard the wailing. There was something alive out there. Something angry.
Then, gradually, she noticed the motions through the storm.
The skeleton immediately skittered back the way he'd come. Twilight couldn't even see from one end of the castle to the other anymore, so he soon disappeared from view. Her heart was beating rapidly, but the exertion was not enough for her to ignore the cold. She started shivering as it crept into her body, and dropped to her knees. The howling grew louder, and Twilight looked up into the oncoming snow. For a moment, she almost thought she saw a face.
"N-No..."
She barely heard the pop from behind her, and was too numb to notice the paw on her side until Discord turned her around to face him.
"We need to go," he urged.
Twilight nodded shakily, but then looked aside into the storm again. And as it emerged from the blizzard, the face of a gargantuan creature bore down on them. It was a cruel face, snarling and angry, pale as the snow itself, and perhaps worst of all, familiar.
"W-W-Windigo!" Twilight cried.
An enormous ghostly hoof crashed down onto the castle ramparts, shattering the stone with a noise like thunder. The stonework crumbled, and Discord and Twilight fell with it, snow and salt and all. Twilight screamed for their split-second of free fall, but they vanished in an instant, reappearing on solid ground, knee-deep in snow. Her teeth chattered, but Discord was soon there, wrapping his lion arm around her.
Screams, warhorns, and the tolling of bells echoed somewhere behind her. She looked back over her shoulder, realising that they were not in the castle anymore. The blizzard obscured her view too much for her to see it, but she could hear the distant sounds of chaos somewhere back there, in the midst of the storm.
"W-We have to help them!" Twilight chattered, air freezing in her lungs.
"The best thing we can do to help them is to leave," said Discord.
"Th-They'll die!"
"Maybe! Or maybe, the monsters will turn around and come after us!"
"U-Us?"
Twilight, still shaking, collapsed in the snow. Exasperated, Discord grabbed her and pulled her back up.
"Twilight, think. It's a windigo. Did you see any disharmony in that castle? Do you think it came to feed on Wulfred's grumbling about uppity draconequus tribes? It came here because we did! It's here because it wants to eat me!"
Twilight hadn't even known she could feel any colder than she already was.
"C-Can it?"
"It can try, but I'm not going to give it the opportunity. I'd rather just let it have Wulfred and his lot. I promise you, they won't be missed."
"N-No!" said Twilight, fighting her own chattering teeth. "Y-Y-You have to h-help them! Y-You can't let them d-die out here!"
Discord sighed and ran both of his hands down his face, stretching it to an extreme length before letting it snap back like an elastic band.
"Fine. Fine. As you command, princess. But you owe me double for this."
With a mocking flourish and bow, Discord popped away. And Twilight was left in the snow.
"Wait! D-Don't leave me out in this!"
She curled up on the ground, wrapping her wings and her hooves as tightly around herself as she possibly could.
"P-Please..."
Was there anything worse than the sanctimonious whining of ponies? For as long as Discord had been around, Yggdrasil had been teaching primitive species how best to annoy him, and ponies were one of her greatest success stories. Twilight was usually an exception, a challenge for him to aspire to, or at least a more amusing plaything than most of her peers. But sometimes, she was just so predictably equine.
Discord cleared the air ahead as he flew through the storm, throwing the wind aside with a casual swish of his claws. Of course, it came back just as quickly as he banished it, but it didn't matter so long as he could move forward. His power was ill-suited for calming any chaos he hadn't directly caused, but he didn't need to. He was the chaos. Nothing could harm him here.
Nothing except the windigo he ran almost headlong into.
"Oh, hi there!" said Discord, backing away from the monstrously huge spirit and grinning. "Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going."
The windigo glared down at him, churning mists pooling in its eyes. It opened its mouth and let out a ghostly screech that echoed through the storm in a thousand iterations. In the cry of a windigo was every kind of conflicting emotion a mortal could know. It was the pain of the wounded, the sorrow of the heartbroken, the anguish of the orphaned and widowed. It was vengeful rage and scornful jealousy, and the guilt of every being that had ever made a terrible mistake. It was an incomprehensible mess of sobbing, wailing, and moaning, with no apparent meaning.
But Discord heard the meaning in it. Finding the signal in the noise was second nature to him, and the windigo's eldritch tones were as clear to him as any other spoken word.
"WHAT IS THIS?" it said, suspicion burning in its voice.
Discord backed away slightly and summoned a map, sunhat, and colourful shirt.
"You wouldn't happen to know the way to Goldfeather, would you?" he asked, laughing awkwardly as he indicated the map. "I think I'm slightly lost."
The windigo leaned down until its huge nostrils came up to Discord's face.
"YOUR VERY BEING IS DISHARMONY. WHAT ARE YOU?"
"I could very well ask you the same question!" said Discord, taking off his hat and shirt and throwing them away into the storm. "But I don't have to, because unlike yourself, I pay attention."
The windigo drew itself up.
"YOU... HEAR MY VOICE." It leaned in again, this time bringing its eye closest to Discord. "YOU ARE... WINDIGO? BUT NOT..."
Discord sighed.
"Perhaps I should just give you my card," he said drolly.
With a flick of his claw, he conjured a stack of business cards, and threw all of them at the windigo. They scattered in every direction, caught in the swirling winds, but the windigo reached out with its magic and pulled several towards itself. Every card was different, each featuring Discord in a different seductive pose, but all of them had the same rainbow-coloured lettering in the same messy font, all reading the same words:
DISCORD, SPIRIT OF CHAOS AND DISHARMONY.
The windigo snarled and threw the cards aside.
"LIES! THE SPIRIT OF CHAOS WAS BROKEN BY THE DAUGHTERS OF THOR! HE ROTS IN HIS STONE TOMB IN THE SHADOW OF MIDGARD!"
"Ugh, don't remind me," said Discord, summoning some stone dust to brush off his shoulders.
"YOU ARE A DECEIVER. I, THIASSI OF THE NORTH WIND, SHALL REND YOUR SOUL ASUNDER, AND MAKE A GIFT OF IT TO YMIR."
"Please don't," Discord said sardonically. "Pulling my soul back together takes a long time, and it'll give you some fierce indigestion."
Thiassi opened his mouth and unleashed a torrent of freezing breath. Icicles burst out of Discord's body, piercing him like swords, but prompting only a yelp from him. His muscles went stiff, and he felt his magic being sapped almost instantly.
"Okay..." he muttered. "As first volleys go, not a bad move."
Drawing from his deepest magic reserves, Discord shaped a spell that he hoped would turn out as heat. The spell would do as it wanted, of course, but he gently suggested that it might want to warm his body. It crawled up his arms and into the icicles, turning their insides into glowing liquid fire, and making the ice explode outwards into hundreds of shards. With the leftover parts of his spell, Discord channeled a chemical change into the shards to see if he could make anything useful. They turned into slightly warm catamar juice, a product of a fruit native to a planet some light years distant. No good, but it was worth a try.
The freeze hit him afterwards, coming from within. Discord choked and fell, no longer supported by his magic. Thiassi was still leeching him, but that wasn't what was causing his magic to fail. The same spell that had birthed the icicles had another effect weaved into its composition. It was some kind of chaos feedback parasite, latching onto his soul. Whenever he tried to use chaos magic, it would drain the spell to create cold within his body, even if he was using a warming spell. Thiassi was trying to make him freeze himself to death.
Discord hit the ground, his fall cushioned by a thick bed of snow. Thiassi's face loomed overhead in the storm, eyes full of wrath.
"...This is annoying."
Thiassi's winds whipped around his body and lifted him into the air. More icicles burst from his arms and chest, each one making him spasm in unexpected pain.
"THIS IS THE FATE OF DECEIVERS, OF ALL WHO HAVE DISHARMONY IN THEIR HEARTS. EVERYTHING THAT LIVES IS A WINDIGO'S FEAST."
If he stopped and thought some more, Discord was sure he could have come up with a cleverer solution. He didn't want to hurt this creature in a way that it couldn't fight against, and it always felt unsatisfying when he abused his magic for the easy win after he had otherwise been outplayed. But he had encountered chaos parasites like these before, and they were very difficult to work around when playing fair. If he were any other being in the universe, he could've simply used another type of magic to subvert its function, undoing the spell with magic that wasn't chaos.
But those were doors that were closed to him forever. Instead, all he could do was parasitise the parasite.
Discord closed his eyes and focused. Deep within his soul, he drew upon something beyond magic, an abstract, alien thing that lay quiet but eternally present. It awoke at his call, and through the Fundament of Chaos, Discord opened up his connection to the bedrock of magic. He felt the chaos all around him, in himself, in the storm, in the spell in his heart, and even within Thiassi. All of it was connected. All of it was a part of him. All of it belonged to him.
As Discord giveth, Discord taketh away.
The spell within him unraveled. Its magic broke apart, absorbed back into the Fundament of Chaos. The icicles broke. Discord pulled away from Thiassi's grasp and floated free. The windigo glared at him still, but now there was a hint of apprehension in his look.
"HOW... DO YOU DO THIS THING?"
Discord reached out a hand, and channeled the Fundament to deconstruct his form. Thiassi noticed almost immediately. As a spirit, he was composed entirely of magic; having it pulled away from him must've been terrifying, like being melted alive. Discord knew the feeling well.
Thiassi's edges broke away in wisps of purple light. Without the energy to maintain his form, he started to collapse into a featureless cloud of magic. In his panic, the windigo scrambled to pull himself back together again. He succeeded, and managed to hold onto his natural shape, but there was nothing he could do about the drain. And as Discord bled more power off from him, Thiassi began to shrink in size.
"NO! NO! WHAT IS THIS TRICKERY?!"
The light swarmed towards Discord, swirling around him and then seeping through his skin. The chaos flowed through his soul, but invigorated him only slightly; Thiassi's power was barely a drop in the ocean for him.
"MERCY! MERCY, YOU FIEND!"
By the time Discord dropped his hand and released Thiassi, he was the size of a small rodent. The tiny windigo turned and tried to fly away into the storm, but Discord reached out and gripped his claw around him, pulling Thiassi up to his face. The blizzard around them quietened as Discord gave him a look of profound disappointment.
"You think I like having to do this?" Discord asked with a gentle shake of his head. "You think I have nothing better to do than smack down uppity little demons all day? I'm bored of this, Thistle, or whatever your name is. But I keep having to do it, because every windigo I've ever met always insists on annoying me."
Thiassi thrashed impotently in Discord's hands.
"I will not stand for this!" he shrieked, his wailing voice reduced to timid squeaks. "In the name of Ymir, I demand you release me!"
"Ever looked up 'hubris' in the dictionary?" Discord willed a dictionary into existence, and floated it beside Thiassi as he flipped to the relevant page. "Notice the picture of your face."
Thiassi tried to respond, but didn't have the chance. Discord summoned a hamster ball around the spirit, trapping him inside the enchanted plastic, and pitched him like a baseball into the storm. His panicked cries disappeared into the distance as Discord shouted after him.
"Tell your brothers! Gods are not food!"
With the windigo gone, the storm cleared quickly. The winds slowed, and the snowfall lessened, until Wulfred's castle emerged from the white haze. Discord floated on high, while down on the battlements, several gaping gargoyles stared up at him. The guards dropped their torches when he looked their way, and by one of the cannons, a robed skeleton cowered and tried to make himself as small as possible.
I should leave them alone, Discord thought. I should take Twilight, go right now, and not look back.
But as much as he tried to ignore them, all the old urges were flaring up again.
Twilight awoke in the jarl's feasting hall, still curled up into a ball, beside a roaring hearth that hadn't been in there before. Gradually, she stretched out her legs and yawned, feeling unusually rested after her ordeal. It was almost as if she'd had a full night's sleep. Almost.
The dismal murmur behind her made her turn around. She found herself atop Jarl Wulfred's raised platform, looking down at the hall. The gargoyles who'd been feasting before now gathered in a standing crowd, many looking much worse for wear. Most were armed and armoured, fresh snow resting on their winter clothes while they grumbled to themselves. The tables had been pushed to the sides of the room, with cold, mostly-eaten food still strewn over them.
She looked behind her, at the rest of the platform. On the far side from her, Wulfred and the robed skeleton who'd been chasing her before were stuck in a pair of iron cages. They raged and pounded at the bars, all in total silence, their cries blocked out by magic. Wulfred's table had been flipped over and placed in front of them as a barricade, and upon it flashed a neon sign. In both Equestrian and an unfamiliar runic language, it spelled out presumably the same word: "SHAME."
And then there was Discord, sitting in the jarl's chair, draped in gold and jewellery many times too big for him. Wulfred's iron crown hung around the wrist of his eagle claw like an ill-fitting bracelet, and when he looked toward Twilight and grinned, she saw that even his snaggletooth had been replaced by silver. Carthfried of Gaulmore stood by his side, looking extremely uncomfortable with a dog collar around his neck that chained him to Discord's chair.
Twilight climbed to her hooves and tentatively approached. This whole scenario was uncomfortably familiar. She recalled Discord sitting atop another throne as he lorded over a world of utter chaos. These gargoyles didn't look like they were willing subjects here either.
"Discord," she whispered carefully. "What are you doing?"
He smiled at her briefly, but then stood up from his chair and walked over to the edge of the platform to address the crowd instead.
"Good gargoyles of the Stormcliffs!" he said, spreading his arms wide. "Feudalism is a contract. A wonderful, orderly contract, which I'm sure you're all very much in love with. It states that you pay homage to your lord and obey him, and in turn, he protects you! Well, that sounds like a wonderful idea to me, only... it seems to me that the Skeleton King has failed you. Jarl Wulfred failed you. Only I answered the call. Me, Discord! I suppose... this makes me your new lord... right?"
"Dis—"
A zip appeared over Twilight's mouth. While she reached up with her hooves and struggled to open it, Discord continued.
"Only, I'm afraid I don't play that game." He took off his jewellery as he spoke, one piece at a time, and started dropping it on the floor. "Do you know why? It's because lords and aristocracy and nobility and feudalism... are a cancer. A recipe for a disaster. You're practically inviting tyranny and oppression on yourselves, because you can't trust these people."
Discord removed his silver tooth and flicked it away, a new one immediately growing in its place, and gestured over to the cages.
"Now, Wulfred isn't that bad, I'll grant you. He's a friendly sort, and a very gracious host to travelling strangers, which my friend and I appreciate. But do you know what makes him a bad liege lord? It's that he's submitting to the Skeleton King. Do any of you know who that is? Who he really is?"
The crowd murmured amongst themselves. Discord let them for a moment, before continuing on with his story.
"...Because I do," he said softly. "I was there back when his flesh first burned from his bones, eons ago before time and space and matter as you know them. And for as long as I've known him, he's always been a nauseating presence, the kind of guy that you wouldn't hang around with if you had a choice, unless you enjoy being regularly stabbed in the kidneys by bored sociopaths. Personally, I think there are plenty of far better ways to channel violent urges, but that doesn't matter to him. The Skeleton King resents other people for having kidneys at all. Beings like him can't be persuaded."
Twilight got the zip on her mouth open, and it faded away immediately after. She coughed to clear her throat, but didn't try to interrupt now; wherever Discord was going with this, she wanted to see.
"Look, I know what you're thinking," said Discord, floating back and forth along the edge of the platform. "If the Skeleton King is so bad, and tyranny is something you want to avoid, then how can you possibly fight him without rallying around another liege lord like Wulfred, with their own army to oppose his? And the answer is, easily. The Court of Bones may not fly Order's flag, but they're just as representative of his ways. And do you know what's best for fighting Order? Chaos.
"Armies may destroy other armies, but so does random chance and bad weather! Poor planning, guerilla warfare, low morale, sneak attacks and betrayals, the list goes on! All these things can stop even the mightiest war machines, and you know what? Less people die that way, too! Trust in fate some more. Chaos is what will ruin the Skeleton King, and what will ruin Order, and your jarl, and feudalism. Chaos is the beginning and the end, the first snow and the last song, and every system succumbs to its eternal grind eventually. This is my promise to you, as Chaos incarnate. You are Jotuns; give anarchy another chance!"
Discord snapped his claws. The cages floated over and turned upside down, and shook until Jarl Wulfred and the skeleton somehow tumbled out through the iron bars.
"I leave it up to you now," said Discord, sweeping a hand over the crowd. "Forge your own future, whether with Wulfred and his ilk, or without. Your destinies are your own to seize! Just remember, when the frost giants come again... and they will... none of these people will save you."
With that, he abruptly hopped off the platform, the crowd parting to make way for him. Looking over his shoulder at her, he beckoned Twilight to follow.
"Come along, Sigyn. We have quite the journey ahead of us."
Twilight scrambled after him, keeping to Discord's side as the crowd closed ranks again behind them and approached the stage. The silence spell that Discord had cast seemed to have faded, because Jarl Wulfric's voice called out.
"What are you—? No, stop! Release me! I am your lord!"
His cries of protest were drowned out by the crowd of gargoyles, chanting the same unintelligible words over and over again in something that started as a low murmur but built into a roar. Twilight stayed by Discord's side until they were out of the hall and the doors slammed closed behind them, leaving them alone in the gently falling snow of the deserted castle courtyard.
"Discord..." Twilight whispered. "What did you do?"
"What you asked me to," said Discord, not looking at her. "I saved them."
A comforting heat flooded the cave as soon as they teleported in. The cold stone beneath Twilight's hooves immediately turned pleasantly warm. The ice on the walls melted away and gathered into a ball of water in the middle of the room, which flew past her and up the passageway behind them with a wave of Discord's hand. A sizzling noise filled the air as the animal bones, dirt, and other detritus littering the cave floor burned up and vanished, and with another snap of Discord's talons, a thick red rug appeared at the back of the cave and unrolled to cover the floor.
Discord strolled into the centre of the room, waving his arms wildly as beds, chairs, tables, a fridge, and an already glowing fireplace with a chimney leading up into the rock all sprang from nowhere, each with a loud pop and a burst of colourful smoke. When he was done, he conjured a pitcher of some thick purple substance, collapsed into a rocking chair by the fire, and took a long, deep drink, which he finished with a satisfied sigh.
Twilight looked around the cave. It was surprisingly normal for one of Discord's creations. Almost cozy, even.
"Discord, what was that back there?" she demanded.
Discord rocked gently, his purple-stained lips forming a contented smile.
"I told you, I did what you asked," he said, wiping his mouth. "I intervened, and I saved them."
"That was not what I asked for!" Twilight shouted, wings ruffling. "I just wanted to save them from the windigo! I didn't know you were going to... to... Oh, Celestia, is he going to be alright? Wulfred? The way you set the crowd on him..."
Discord rolled his eyes and tossed his empty pitcher into the fire. The flames roared, now with a slight purple tint.
"What they do to Wulfred is entirely down to him. If he was as fair to them as he was to us, then I'm sure they'll be inclined to be merciful. Revolution is rarely bloodless, but you don't necessarily need guillotines to overthrow your rulers."
"Why did he need overthrowing?" Twilight marched up to Discord's chair. "He wasn't hurting anybody! He didn't do anything to us!"
"I seem to recall he made you uncomfortable," said Discord, lazily reclining.
"That doesn't mean I wanted him overthrown!" Twilight backed away, and started pacing on the carpet. "I just didn't know how to turn him down and was afraid of embarrassing myself! You didn't have to... Oh, Celestia! Oh Celestia!"
Discord teleported next to her, arm around her shoulder.
"Calm down, before you have a little horsey panic attack." He held a brown bag up to her, which Twilight took in both hooves and breathed into. "I didn't do any of it for you. I put Wulfred in his place because that's what I do. I'm the Spirit of Chaos, Twilight."
Once her breathing was back to normal, Twilight leveled a glare at Discord, who quickly backed off to lean on the mantle over the fireplace.
"Why, then? Explain to me why you had to do that."
A dressing gown appeared around Discord's body, and a pipe in his hand.
"It's as I said, Wulfred was a vassal of the Skeleton King, and the Skeleton King is a monstrous tyrant. The gargoyles fear the windigoes and the draconequus tribes, and they think that turning to him will protect them. It won't. Jotunheim is the last bastion of true freedom in the Nine Realms, the one place where nations and kings do not reign. I will not let another Realm of Chaos fall to Order. Once we've got you home, I'll have a lot of cleaning up to do around here..."
He summoned a match and lit his pipe, blowing bubbles from the end.
"...Is this what you did to Equestria?" Twilight said, bitterness breaking through in her voice. "A thousand years ago when you ruled the world? Is this what you did to us?"
Discord glared back at her.
"Yes," he said, floating off the ground. "I tried to save you ponies from yourselves. But unlike gargoyles, ponies have never appreciated my efforts, and always cling onto the past rather than embracing new opportunities. I tried to give you all freedom before. Twice, in fact. But I've learned my lesson now. If it's your choice to suffer under a yoke when you could be thriving, then I won't force the issue anymore. But in Jotunheim, they know better. This is a land that embraces chaos and meets its challenges gladly, and I intend to preserve that."
"You can't be serious. I was there when you tried to take over Equestria again."
"Yes, I remember," Discord muttered with another eye-roll.
"That wasn't freedom, that was just your own kind of tyranny. Ponies form civilizations by choice, Discord. We don't live in anarchy because we don't want to. How is it freedom if you have to enforce it against everybody else's will?"
"It is freedom for the individual, against the tyranny of the majority," Discord snapped, throwing off his dressing gown and stomping on it. "Not that I expect you to understand that. Participating in society is not voluntary, Twilight. You're born into it, and subsumed by it, because society's rules apply to you from birth, and Harmony brainwashes you into accepting them so that you can be more easily controlled. Ponies might seem like they agree with the idea of society, but they always have their grievances, don't they? Maybe they don't like working, or paying taxes, or not being allowed to play the tuba at 3AM because their neighbours complained, but they shut up and do as they're told because they rely on society to meet their needs, and they can't break the rules.
"I stripped away the arbitrary restrictions of what ponies can and can't do with their lives. I kept out the truly dangerous threats, I made food and resources plentiful throughout the land, and I never harmed doctors or healers. I removed the need for society, and in my Equestria, ponies could play the tuba at any hour they wanted, and the police would never knock on their doors for it, because there were no police."
Twilight scoffed. "That's your excuse? If individual freedom is what you stand for, then why did you violate everypony's minds with your magic?"
Her stomach abruptly growled, and Twilight sat on the carpet, no longer able to ignore her discomfort. She had passed up the opportunity to eat at Wulfred's castle when she left early, expecting Discord to bring food up to the room afterwards. Then everything with the skeleton and the windigo happened, and she had forgotten how hungry she was. It was only now that she was reminded again of just how long it had been since she had last eaten. She'd only just had lunch before she inexplicably ended up in the Abyss. Had it really only been a day since this all started?
As she mused, an oversized silver tray appeared before her, holding a burger, salad, a plate of hayfries, and a mug of steaming hot coffee. Twilight looked up and met Discord's eyes. He stood over her with a dispassionate look, arms crossed, as if awaiting a response.
"...Thank you," she reluctantly allowed.
Discord just turned away from her.
"You were my enemy, simple as that," he said. "It was you six or me. I made a choice. I'm not proud of my tactics, believe me, but all's fair in war and mind games."
A memory of running scared through a twisting maze flashed across her mind, and Twilight suppressed the urge to shudder.
Shaking the memory away, she focused on lifting the hayburger trapped between her forehooves. Eating without her horn was bad enough, but with no magic, she couldn't even easily grip food with her hooves. Normally she wouldn't have been much concerned about making a mess, but Discord had a way of making her self-conscious about these sorts of things. If only she had been trapped in Sunset Shimmer's world instead of here; at least if she had fingers again, a lack of magic wouldn't be such a problem. And Sunset would be a more welcome sight than Discord right about now.
"I wasn't even talking about that," she muttered. "I can understand what you did to us. It was horrible, and cruel, but I can understand it. But if that's really what you fight for, then what about everybody else? Why did you make Big Macintosh act like a dog, or make those buffalo dance? Mind control seems like a way bigger violation of personal freedom than making ponies pay taxes."
Twilight took a bite of her burger. Though it almost slipped from her hooves, the familiar taste of hay, lettuce, and tomatoes was downright heavenly right then. Even the sauces were right.
"Oh please, that wasn't a violation."
Discord teleported and appeared inside the fireplace in a flash of light. His body coiled around the burning logs like a snake, purple-tinted flames harmlessly licking at him.
"I was just giving them all a chance to enjoy themselves without inhibitions, act on impulse. Big Macintosh puts up a stoic front, but he has a playful side underneath. Granny Smith hadn't had a proper dance for years until I came along, thanks to that hip of hers. And have you ever met a buffalo? They're all so stolid! So many traditions and expectations imposed upon them. For a culture like that, the chance to dance and wear pretty dresses is quite liberating. You know, one of them has already since broken away from his tribe to go learn ballet professionally in Manehattan?"
Twilight had stopped chewing to stare. Discord still lay nonchalantly in the fire, which wasn't abnormal as far as his abilities went, but something about it seemed... off. It was random, sure, but Discord wasn't doing it to make a joke, or to illustrate a point, or anything. He was just sitting in the fireplace while trying to have an otherwise serious conversation. Twilight wondered if maybe she was just reading too much into a visual gag that didn't land, but something about it bugged her. Something just on the edge of her memory.
She decided not to comment on it.
"...Really?" she said through a mouthful of food.
Discord nodded. "He and his new boyfriend were living quite happily together, last time I checked. So you see, I am a selfless and heroic force of change and progress."
The flames crackled as they washed over him. A piece of coal fell from the fireplace as he shifted, and Twilight blinked as she realised what was bugging her. She'd seen this before. Spike used to do the exact same thing when he was little. Maybe it was a dragon thing?
Swallowing, Twilight frowned again. "I wouldn't go that far."
"Think what you want. But you're in no position to lecture me about the evils of mind control, Princess." Discord smiled. "Don't think I've forgotten how you wanted to use your reforming spells on me against my will. And let's also not forget the Smarty Pants incident, or any of the other numerous instances of mind magic which Equestria tolerates, such as Princess Candy's talent spell."
"Those were all different." Twilight tried to take another bite of her burger, but it slipped from her hooves and splattered over her tray. "Shoot!"
Discord furrowed his brow. "Are you okay, Twilight? Do you need help?"
"I'm fine," she said, tersely, gathering up the pieces of her burger. "It would help if I had my magic back, but I'll manage."
A silence hung in the air, broken only by the crackling of the fire. Twilight scooped up her now much sloppier burger and tried to finish it.
"So," she said between bites. "This Skeleton King. I'm guessing the one who chased after me worked for him?"
Discord stretched languidly and crawled out of the fireplace on all fours, a thick layer of ash clinging to his underside.
"Yes indeedy," he groaned.
Twilight watched him curiously, remembering the many times Spike tracked ash and soot all over her parents' house. Watching Discord do it was surreal.
"So what does he want? Where did he come from?"
Discord shrugged and slumped on the carpet. "The Skeleton King is one of the elder gods, a being from the universe before this one, where the laws of physics were different. He's cranky because the world has changed, this reality is uncomfortable for him, and his powers don't work as well as they used to. Basically the same things all old people complain about, only the Skeleton King still has the vigour to inflict his misery on the rest of us, and I haven't found any retirement homes willing to take him yet."
"And... what does this mean for Jotunheim?"
"War, conquest, exploitation, same as any petty dictator. The only difference is that an oath to the Skeleton King is more than just an oath for life. Those who serve in his legion or the Court of Bones serve beyond death. And not as mindless animate corpses, either, but as fully intelligent undead slaves, all the better to fight in the next war and harvest more souls."
"That's... horrible!" said Twilight, setting aside the remains of her unfinished burger.
"You don't have to tell me."
She paused as she considered something.
"Back in the castle, you said to the gargoyles that you were there when he became a skeleton?"
Discord sat up and stretched again, leaning back against the fireplace. "Yup."
"And this was... in this previous universe of his?"
"Mmhmm."
"How did you... go there?"
"I didn't go there. I'm from there."
"I thought you were from here?" Twilight gestured around the cave. "This place. Jotunheim. You're a draconequus, aren't you? And this is where draconequui are from."
Discord chuckled deviously.
"Ah, Twilight, you think it's as simple as all that? You find out my species and a possible homeland, and think you have the Spirit of Chaos all figured out?"
"No, I'm asking you because I'm trying to figure you out," Twilight said impatiently. "Your species are obviously local to here, and you know the land and the culture, but you're also claiming to be older than the universe. I'm just wondering how seriously I should take you."
"Your first mistake was taking anything I say seriously," Discord said with a grin.
"You may be right about that," Twilight mumbled. "Well, I don't know what being the 'Spirit of Chaos' actually means, but I've seen you get sick, and I've seen you lose your magic and survive. You didn't fade away or anything, so whatever you are, you're obviously flesh and blood. And it sure seems like this is your birthplace, so I seriously doubt you're actually an elder god older than time itself. I mean, you certainly don't behave like one."
"I could be both; I have what you might call an unpredictable past. And how do you know what an elder god is supposed to act like anyway?"
"Furthermore, being older than time isn't even scientifically possible. For one thing, how would that even work? How can you be older than what is, by definition, the oldest thing?"
Discord shrugged. "Who created time? Who created reality? All of this had to come from somewhere. By definition, anything that existed before time must be older than it."
"Yes, but you didn't create the universe."
Discord subtly tilted his head, and his smile grew ever so slightly wider.
Twilight blinked, and tried to ignore the chill that ran down her spine.
"...No," she said with a firm stomp of her hoof and shake of her head. "I know what you're trying to imply with that look, and no, I don't believe that for a second! The universe is not so badly designed!"
Discord shook his head and chuckled. "Ah, typical Twilight. Thinks she's a scientist, but puts the conclusion before the evidence. You let your preconceived biases dictate what you believe is possible, and dismiss out of hoof that which doesn't fit your worldview. A true scientist should weigh all the possibilities, but instead you blindly cling onto yesterday's theories, even when they don't answer today's questions. You even called time travel scientifically impossible when your own future self was standing right in front of you. Tell me, do you ever think Celestia might have done you a disservice, focusing your education so narrowly on magic and friendship?"
"Don't try to make this about me, or Celestia!" Twilight stood. "You're deflecting the question, because you know that the burden of proof lies on the one making the outrageous claim!"
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Discord sat up and leaned forward, the flickering shadows from the fireplace casting half his grinning face in darkness. "I'm sure you'd just love to pin me down and fit me into a neat little box, because you think if you can categorise me, if you can understand me, then you won't have to be afraid anymore. Because that's what this is really about, isn't it? I frighten you. Because even for all the time we've known each other, you still have no idea what I am, or what I'm capable of."
Something about the way he looked at her sent another shiver through Twilight's body. Discord seemed to notice her discomfort, as his grin slowly disappeared.
"...Oh, very well," he sighed, climbing back into his rocking chair. "Spoil my fun, why don't you? Fine, if it helps you sleep better at night, no, I didn't create the universe, and no, I'm not an elder god... I think."
Twilight let out a breath she'd been holding, but also didn't take her eyes off Discord.
Something was definitely off about him. He was being oddly passive. He'd been sitting around and calmly talking for several minutes now. No gags, no tricks, very little idle magic use aside from sitting in the fireplace. In the castle, it made sense, because they had been undercover. Here, it was almost like he was... tired.
"...How can you be unsure about something like that?" she asked, sitting back down.
Discord breathed a sigh.
"I said I was there when old Lord Skelly lost his skin, but the truth is, I only have his word for that. I don't actually remember being there. In fact, I don't remember anything about the pre-universe. All I know is that the first time I met him, Bones Malone already knew who I was, and he accurately described my current handsome looks long before I ever actually took this form. So I believe him when he says I was there, which means I might be an elder god. But honestly, I doubt it; every other elder god I've met actually remembers being one."
"Hmm." Twilight scooped up a hoofful of hayfries. "Do you think you time travelled? Or maybe something erased your memories? Like what happened to me?"
Discord snorted. "I don't have amnesia, Twilight. I'm not that clichéd. I remember my origins well enough. And time travel is equally unlikely. I can do a lot of things, but not that."
Twilight frowned as she chewed. "But I know you can time travel. Fluttershy told me all about your adventure with the Crusaders."
"I'm talking about time travel into the previous universe," said Discord, throwing his hands up in the air. "It can't be done! I break a lot of rules, but even I have to obey the laws of physics. And the old universe had different physics entirely. Our time travel can theoretically take us as far back as the Big Bang, but beyond that point, time as we know it breaks down. Not even the Timewyrms could go back that far."
"So what's your theory, then?"
"Good question." Discord stroked his beard. "Personally, I think it was most likely an alternate Discord, probably from a universe with similar physics to that one. Or perhaps I'm some kind of rebirth or reincarnation of the old universe's Discord? Reality is annoyingly cycular like that, so it's not outside the realms of possibility."
"Would that make you an elder god or not?"
"I don't think so? It's not there's any hard and fast definitions, but elder gods tend to be... stranger than I am."
Twilight paused.
Stranger than Discord?
While she considered that, a lump of hayfries fell out of her hooves and landed on the carpet. She let out another cry of frustration.
"Ugh!" Twilight stomped. "This is hopeless! I want my magic back! How much longer am I going to be without it?"
Discord leaned back again and closed his eyes.
"I'll find it for you soon enough, don't worry. Just eat up, get some rest for tonight, and we'll take care of it tomorrow."
Twilight sullenly jabbed a hoof at her plate, and pressed it on top of the pile of hayfries. When she pulled it away, none of them stuck to her hoof. When she focused on her horn, no feeling ran through it. She let out a disappointed sigh and drooped her head.
Discord cracked one eye open.
"...Look, if it'll stop your moping, I can lend you a tiny bit of my magic for now."
Twilight's head snapped up.
"What? You'd do that?"
"Only if you're careful, and willing to accept the consequences." Discord stood up. "This is chaos magic we're talking about here. It won't be easy or comfortable, and it can have effects over time if you're overzealous with it, so you have to use it sparingly. I don't want to drop you off with Celestia only to get turned to stone because I left you barking like a dog or rambling about popping soap bubbles."
"That... doesn't sound good."
"It isn't." A dark look came over Discord for a second, but he quickly covered it with a smile. "Plus side is, I'll be able to track you much better if we ever get separated again, so no more screaming skeleton showcases. Hopefully."
Twilight scraped her hoof against the floor.
"...Can I think about it?"
"All up to you, Princess." Discord shrugged. "I don't really care either way."
Twilight tried not to show her smile.
Yeah, sure you don't.
There would be time to consider Discord's offer in the morning. Taking on chaos magic and learning to control it was not a decision to be made lightly, nor an endeavour to attempt while tired and hungry. So Twilight just settled in and muddled through the rest of her meal without magic as best she could, and let the day's worries slip away.
When she finally got to sleep later that night, she considered it a rest well earned.
Discord's magic felt nothing like Twilight's own. Her body seemed to buzz with it, an angry, itchy sensation that ran through her, like the magic was restless and ill at home in an alicorn.
Still, it was a warm feeling, at least. With all the time she'd spent in the cold since waking up in the Great Abyss, she hadn't noticed how her lack of magic was a cold void of its own, a chill that never left even in the comfort of Wulfred's castle or Discord's magically heated cave. Now that she felt magic in her again, she couldn't believe how long she'd managed without it. It was insane to think that unicorns before Celestia used to live most of their lives like that.
Twilight's legs trembled as she took a few steps forward, fresh snow crunching underhoof. In the morning light, Discord leaned against a nearby boulder, watching her with a slight smirk as his breath misted before him.
"So... So do I just...?" Twilight tried to channel the magic through her horn, but felt it shoot down her foreleg instead. "Waaaah!"
Something like electricity crackled around her hoof, and she leapt back as the earth cracked and an enormous beanstalk burst from the ground, only growing dozens of little plantpots instead of beans. Once the beanstalk reached three times Twilight's height, one of the plantpots near the tip grew a disturbingly equine mouth, complete with full lips and visible teeth. Another below did the same, and the rest all followed.
One by one, they opened their mouths, and let out a chorus of blood-curdling screams. Twilight flinched and covered her ears, but they were too loud to block out. Each mouth screamed in its own distinct voice, following no particular rhythm or logic, blending into a meaningless cacophony of crying and wailing. Then, just as quickly as it began, it was over. The screams died off, fading into pained and fearful whimpers.
As they went quiet, Twilight uncurled her ears and looked up at the beanstalk, and the whole thing gradually withered, crumpled, and died right before her eyes. The plant itself burst into ash, blowing away on the frigid Jotunheim winds, while the now-silent plantpots thudded into the snow, their mouths petrified.
Twilight blinked.
"Mmm." Discord leaned over her shoulder, scratching his chin. "A little existential for my tastes, but the tiny plantpots were a nice touch."
He picked up one of them and held it up to his eye.
"I... I didn't mean to do that!" Twilight shouted.
"Of course you didn't." The plantpot filled with green ice cream in Discord's hand, and he took a lick between speaking. "But chaos magic rarely factors in intent if it's undirected. If you don't keep a lid on it, it'll do whatever it wants. Within a certain range of possibilities, of course. It's probably not a coincidence that you channelled it through your hooves like an earth pony and grew a plant. That's your alicorn physiology at work."
"But I was trying to use my horn."
"Accidents happen." Discord shrugged. "We're pumping chaos magic through a body designed for its diametric opposite here. Some wires are bound to get crossed. Just keep the magic use to a minimum and try to direct it better next time, and you should be fine."
"Designed for its opposite?" said Twilight. "What does that mean?"
"What do you think it means?" Discord leaned over while floating midair. "Ponies aren't built for chaos, and alicorns especially aren't."
"You mean because we're designed for harmony?"
"Goodness, no!" Discord laughed, wiping away a joyful tear which froze on his talon. "Chaos isn't the opposite of harmony! Disharmony is the opposite of harmony!"
Twilight paused.
"That's... true," she allowed. "But aren't you the spirit of both? So isn't your chaos magic still the opposite of the friendship magic the Elements of Harmony use?"
"You flatter me, Twilight Sparkle, but no." Discord waved a claw, reclining in the air as he floated in circles around her. "I am the Spirit of Disharmony because that's what I choose to be. I am the Tree of Harmony's ideological enemy, and define myself as such. But there's no such thing as disharmony magic. If you've imagined me and old Yiggsy as two halves of a cosmic duo, then I'm sorry to say that it's nowhere near that simple."
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "'Yiggsy?'"
"Yggdrasil." Discord stopped circling and turned upside down. "That's her name."
She mentally filed that information away for later, and asked the more immediate question on her mind.
"So if you and the Tree of Harmony aren't opposites, what are you? And what does this have to with alicorns?"
"Nothing!" Discord said with a cheerful grin, slowly rotating in place. "You just made an incorrect assumption and led us on a tangent!"
"Wha—" Twilight spluttered. "I didn't lead us on a tangent! You're the one who— Agghhh!"
Discord laughed while she stomped a hoof, causing sparks to fly from the ground, which fortunately didn't create any new life this time.
"Okay," she huffed. "Fine. So chaos isn't the opposite of harmony. How are alicorns designed for its opposite then?"
Suddenly, something shot up beneath her hooves, jolting Twilight into the air. When she landed again, she was sitting behind a school desk, one in a square of nine, the others all occupied by copies of Discord. One lounged next to her blowing a bubble with chewing gum, while another folded a paper aeroplane. In front, another Discord in professor's robes pointed a stick at a blackboard from behind a lectern.
"Pop quiz, class!" he announced, tapping the board as a floating piece of chalk scribbled out a question. "What is the opposite of chaos?"
The chalk underlined his words for emphasis.
"Ooh! Ooh ooh!" A Discord slightly behind Twilight with buck teeth, square glasses, and a propeller hat raised his hand. "Pick me! Pick me!"
"Yes, Discord!"
"It's order, sir!"
The class booed and jeered. Twilight cringed as they threw wads of paper and fruit and school supplies up at the blackboard, all of which bounced harmlessly off of Professor Discord. One of the Discords even threw a burning bottle of spirits. Twilight shrieked as it exploded against the blackboard and engulfed the front of the classroom in flames.
"Yes, yes, I know, settle down," Professor Discord said wearily, making placating gestures to the class even as he stood in the midst of the fire. "I know, we all hate it, but he's correct. The opposite of chaos is order. So! Which beings best embody order?
Discord aimed his still burning pointer at Twilight, and the other Discords all turned to stare at her.
"...Uh... Ponies?" she guessed.
A loud, electronic buzz suddenly sounded from every direction, startling her.
"Wrong! The answer is alicorns!"
The other Discords in the class all burst into laughter, pointing at Twilight mockingly.
"Alicorns are ponies!" Twilight protested, glaring at Professor Discord.
Another pair of Discords dressed as fireponies kicked down a door that hadn't been there a second ago and blasted Professor Discord with a firehose, extinguishing the flames. He didn't acknowledge them any more than he had the fire, instead wagging his pointer at Twilight.
"No credit for partial answers!"
"But you said there's a difference between chaos and disharmony. Ergo there's a difference between harmony and order as well, and alicorns represent harmony, not order."
Professor Discord gave her a smug smile.
"No they don't."
"Yes, we do!"
Discord crossed his arms. "Nope."
"Yes!"
"Nah."
"I became an alicorn through the Elements of Harmony!" Twilight slammed a hoof on her schooldesk. "That's what we represent! That's why friendship and harmony are the founding principles of Equestria!"
As she glowered, a sinkhole emerged in Twilight's desk, and she yelped before catching herself to avoid falling into it. Two pieces of wood emerged from the sides of the desk and met to form an arch, which then also grew a small roof, as well as a bucket and winch.
Discord shrugged off his professor's clothes and walked out in front of the blackboard, waving a hand and banishing the rest of the classroom and his clones, though Twilight's desk and the new wishing well upon it remained.
"Maybe that's what alicorns became by Sunny and Moon-Moon's time, but the first alicorns weren't nearly so peaceful or pleasant."
He flipped the fire-damaged blackboard over, and on the other side was a projector screen. Twilight's chair and the desk/wishing well in front of her morphed into more comfortable seats, which quickly multiplied into several rows as walls grew out of the snow around them and met to form a ceiling overhead. Discord leapt into a seat beside her as the newly created movie theatre went dark and a projector came to life behind them.
On the screen flickered a silent black and white montage of armoured alicorn stallions drilling with spears and hammers, shooting spells at training dummies, or flying in formation. Apart from their size and stature, they reminded her very much of the modern Royal Guard.
"The first alicorns were soldiers, bred for battle," Discord said, leaning over to Twilight while pointing up at the screen. "Alicorn biology isn't a product of evolution, or a spontaneous manifestation of harmony; it was intentionally designed with a specific purpose. There's a reason why your kind grow bigger and stronger than regular ponies, Twilight, and it's not because you're swelling up from all that friendship."
Twilight frowned, looking back at her own wings, and then down at her hooves. She fidgeted in place as she inspected them.
"...In fact, it's precisely the opposite," Discord said ominously.
The images of ancient alicorns flickered away, replaced by a recording of Twilight herself, standing with her friends and Zecora in a Ponyville overrun with Plundervines.
Zecora's voice now came through unseen speakers.
"...The results would be tragic... It only responds to alicorn magic."
"Discord, what is this?" Twilight asked, talking over the rest of Zecora's explanation of the potion.
"Watch."
She looked back to the screen, and blinked in surprise as she watched the recording of herself mustering up the same bubbling black, green, and purple magic that Celestia had taught her, the same magic that Sombra had used.
Dark magic.
She remembered that now, using dark magic on the potion. Zecora had just said "alicorn magic." Why had her first instinct been dark magic?
Twilight shivered.
"Alicorn magic. Dark magic. Order magic." Discord clapped his hands, leaning back in his theatre seat. "Ponies like to think of alicorns as creatures of harmony because that's what you became, but it wasn't always that way. You don't have strength, flight, and magic because you're an abstract representation of tribal unity. Alicorns didn't just come into being when ponies stopped fighting. You have these attributes because alicorns were intended to be a 'master race.'"
Discord made air quotes and gagged, to show what he thought of the idea.
"But that's not what we are!" said Twilight, turning back to him. "I don't think I'm better than anypony else! The princesses don't think that!"
"I know you don't Twilight," Discord chuckled, patting her head. "But that was the original idea, nonetheless. And that's why alicorns have an affinity for dark magic, because dark magic is all about that superiority complex. It's about control, efficiency, running roughshod over the little complications like free will and empathy for others. It's why Sombra took so well to it. And it's also the core of the problem you're having right now."
He illustrated his words by summoning a clear glass of water and pouring a canister of engine oil into it. The oil sat on the surface of the water, refusing to mix, as Discord held it up for her to see.
"Dark and harmonic magic are similar enough that a user of one can generally accommodate the other, but chaos is primal, unshackled, undirected. They require diametrically opposed personalities to master."
Twilight considered his words. It wasn't often that Discord spoke sense, so these last few days had been insightful.
"...Wait." Twilight held up a hoof. "How is harmony more similar to dark magic than chaos is? If anything, chaos and dark magic have more in common with each other than either do with harmony."
Discord laughed.
"Oh Twilight. You might as well be asking how purple is more similar to red than blue is. Magic, like colour, is a spectrum, and Harmony sits smack bang in the middle of it."
Just because he could, Discord swirled his finger in the glass of oil and water and actually did somehow mix it into a single dark liquid.
"The Tree of Harmony is compromise incarnate. Me? I'm more of a free radical." Discord grinned, downing the glass in a single gulp. "Chaos is the extreme end of the spectrum. And dark magic is the opposite extreme, its antithesis. Remember what I said before? Alicorn magic, dark magic..."
"...Order magic," Twilight finished. "And Harmony is a... a synthesis of the two..."
"Bingo," said Discord, turning his empty glass into soap bubbles.
Twilight blinked. Discord's words rapidly ran through her head over and over again as it all came together.
A light clicked on in her mind.
"...There's a third, isn't there?"
Twilight looked up at Discord again, who was staring at something just above her head. His eyes flicked down to meet hers.
"Hmm?"
"Like you and the Tree of Harmony!" Twilight smiled. "There's a third spirit for Order, isn't there? And he's the one who created the ancient alicorns!"
A ringing bell noise sounded from every direction at once, causing even Discord to look around for its source. When he turned back to Twilight, it was with a wide grin on his face.
"Correct!" He applauded, and a burst of streamers and confetti appeared to rain down on them, Pinkie Pie-style, as the lights came on in the theatre to reveal a congratulations banner. "One point to Twilight Sparkle for the answer, and two for the follow-up gag!"
He reached down and snatched something above Twilight's head. When he pulled his hand away, he was clutching a glowing lightbulb.
"Did I make that happen?"
"You did!" said Discord, sounding pleased. "And the bell, too! You're actually taking quite well to chaos. Colour me impressed."
For a moment, Twilight was pleased. But her joy soon dissipated as she considered what she had just learned.
"...What happened to him?" she asked, staring back up at the movie screen, which had since looped back to the footage of the alicorn soldiers.
"Who?"
"This... entity of Order? The creator of alicorns? Did he get turned to stone too?"
She looked back up at Discord, who stared blankly at her.
"That's... a very long story," he said with a sigh. "Suffice to say, he left these realms a long, long time ago, and I don't expect him to ever return."
Twilight thought for a moment.
"When you rescued me, you said that the Abyss was one of the Realms of Order. Was that something to do with him? Could he have taken me?"
Discord laughed, shaking his head, but it sounded strangely subdued for him, almost bitter.
"Trust me, Twilight, the self-proclaimed 'Emperor of the Universe' has better things to do than scare nerdy purple alicorns."
But what if it's not about me? What if I was just a lure for you? You came running as soon as I called...
Twilight took a breath.
"...You're probably right," she said with a sigh.
"Of course I'm right," Discord said indignantly. "I'm always right."
Twilight smiled again, though her brow creased slightly with the niggling feeling that she was forgetting something important.
Discord gave an exaggerated yawn.
"Anyway, I'm bored of ancient Equestrian history. Put on your snowshoes, because it's time we get back to our adventure."
In a flash of light, he clad them both in thick winter clothes, including goggles and wooly hats. Twilight had a saddle on her back, and Discord stuck a pair of ski sticks into the snow as the theatre melted away and the walls collapsed outwards into the snow, revealing the desolate white landscape of Jotunheim once again. With a joyful whoop, he skied away, snow churning behind him as he disappeared into the distance.
Before she took off after him, Twilight stopped and thought. Something was wrong about that conversation. There was something she had missed. If she could only determine what...
She shook her head. Another problem for another time.
With a sigh, she spread her wings as best she could in her thick winter coat, feeling the unfamiliar buzzing magic course through them, and took off flying at long last. Her flight field was shaky at first, distributing her weight unevenly, as if it were her first time flying again, but she recalled her early lessons with Rainbow Dash, and soon she found her rhythm again and managed to stabilise it.
From there, the winds of Jotunheim carried her on, and for the first time in days, she felt truly free again.
