A crossover of MLP and Catherine, starring Big Mac and several others as they climb to freedom.
Caught in the middle of an accidental affair, Shining Armor is thrown into a nightmare that continues every night. Being forced to climb the large tower of blocks above him or die at the hands of the creatures that chase him, he must reach the door at the end and continue living one more day at a time. All he wants is to set things right between him and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and end the mistake that was his affair with a mare named Catherine.
But every time he finds himself trying to break off ties with Catherine, he wakes up the next morning after his nightmares to find her lying in his bed. Not sure exactly how this started, and unable to remember his dreams in detail, Armor is forced to face the reality of the two mares he’s involved with, and make a decision on just what it is he truly wants in his life.
This story is not only set in an alternate-universe Equestria, but also set before Armor and Cadence’s wedding.
For any fan of the story of the hit puzzle game “Catherine”, this story is right up your alley! Rated Teen for sexual themes, strong language, use of alcohol, and violence.
We’ve all heard the stories. Men who cheat are cursed. Men who refuse to commit to a relationship are cursed. Men who refuse to settle down and contribute to the population of society are cursed. We all know the tale of the succubus and womanizer, the judgment of men unfit to be allowed to continue wasting a woman’s time. Thomas Mutton has told this tale oh-so many times.
But now his eyes see farther. His negative feelings for the unfaithfulness of man have grown tenfold since the day Vincent Brooks beat him in his own game. Having done his job for the third time on Earth, Thomas has decided to turn his eyes toward another world entirely. With the help of the Divine Overseer Astaroth, Thomas has moved on to purge a new world of the unfaithful swine known as man.
My name is Trisha, the Midnight Venus, and I would like to welcome you back to the Golden Playhouse for another exciting tale of another man who climbs the endless tower to reach his ultimate goal. After Thomas’s humiliating defeat at the hands of Vincent, he has decided to try and purge a new world of the unfaithfulness that haunts the hearts of every man.
I would like for you to join us tonight as we recount the tale of the stallion that was dragged into this mess, in almost an identical fashion as our beloved Vincent. Turning his eye away from the world of humans, Thomas has used his pull with the Demon Lord Nergal and Divine Overseer Astaroth to take a new form. His new world is a simple, happy place. But it’s still filled to the brim with unfaithful swine and detestable vermin.
This new world isn’t filled with humans or even demons. This new world is inhabited by ponies. Magical, sentient, and carefree ponies. Thomas has turned his eyes to the wonderful world of Equestria. But is this new world too much for his judging eyes to handle? Can he really rightfully judge the injustice of the men of this new world? Well, he’s certainly going to try.
The star of tonight’s show, and the first true victim of Thomas’s judgment in this new world, is Shining Armor. He’s the captain of the Royal Family’s guard, and a loving stallion. He’s been with his lover Princess Mi Amore Cadenza for nearly three years, but the two of them have yet to tie the knot. When an unfortunate series of events unfold, Armor finds himself cast into the game created by Thomas and has his life flipped around.
Can Shining Armor truly decide what it is he wants in his life, and make the choice between the two mares vying for his love and companionship? Or will he face a horrible end at the hands of the creatures that haunt his nightmares? We’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?
Night 0, Stray Stallion- 12:32am
Just down the road from Canterlot Castle, a new bar was being opened. It was a small establishment, no larger than the average bar in a crowded city like New York. The place was decorated nicely, with paintings and miscellaneous collectibles hanging about the walls. The booths were made of solid polished oak and soft leather. The bar stools were made of black marble and had leather cushions. The bar counter was crafted from the finest white marble. The shelves behind the counter were stocked full of just about every kind of alcohol known to both man- and pony-kind
Aside from a single stallion standing behind the counter, the bar was completely empty. It hadn’t even officially opened yet, as the building had just been bought the previous day. The stallion was tall, lean, and old. He had the look of an aged, experienced pony. His mane was a silver-gray color, and his coat was an off-white color. His eyes were covered with a pair of reflective black sunglasses, even though it was already dimly lit in the bar. He wore a white suit around his front legs and torso, with a bowtie around his neck. He looked like a sophisticated stallion.
The stallion let out a sigh, “What have I gotten myself into…?” He was busy shining the many mugs and glasses laid out on the counter, stacking them into the shelves under it. He shook his head in disappointment, shining glass after glass.
He heard a ringing noise sound from the direction of the bar’s front door. Turning to look, he saw a beautiful mare come trotting up to the counter. The mare’s coat was a light pink shade, and her long, flowing mane was a bright blond color. She wore a white, skin-tight dress, like one you would wear for a somewhat-formal dinner party. The dress was low cut, and the sleeves were virtually nonexistent. The dress was held together around her neck with a small red ribbon tied in a bow.
She trotted up to the counter, taking a seat on one of the brand new barstools. She giggled, “It’s only been a day and you’ve already got the place cleaned up!” She had a sensual, alluring tone to her voice.
The stallion groaned, “What business could you have in a place like this? Don’t you have humans to seduce somewhere? I haven’t even asked for your help yet!” He maintained a composed posture, all the while shining the mugs.
The mare waved her hoof, “You didn’t think I’d let you have all the fun in a new world, did you? I’ve never been with a pony before!”
The stallion shot her an angry glare from behind his shades. “I don’t need you ruining this for me again. The last time you interfered with a victim, he ended up beating the daylights out of me.”
The mare laughed, “You had that coming, you old geezer! You shouldn’t have messed with Vincent!”
The stallion placed the final mug into the shelves under the counter. He sighed, “I can see that now. But why are you here? Don’t you have a job to do?”
The mare laughed, “Aw c’mon, Boss! You don’t think I would just swing by for no reason, do you? Daddy sent me to give you a helping hand! Er, I mean hoof!” She raised a hoof, a smile on her face.
The stallion’s jaw dropped, “Lord Nergal sent you here?! B-but why? I thought he didn’t approve of your line of work…”
The mare giggled, “He doesn’t approve. But I’m a succubus, it’s what I do. He doesn’t have a say in the matter.”
The stallion smiled, “That is true. Do you have any unsuspecting stallions lined up yet?”
“A few. Some here in Canterlot. There’s a few in some other towns. I’ve got one or two in a small town called Ponyville. And even more in the city of Manehattan.” The mare looked at the stallion with alluring eyes.
The stallion scoffed, “I’ll be certain to inform you if I find a stallion that needs a little…convincing…that he’s not quite ready to commit. But try not to overload yourself, Ms. Catherine. There are only so many hours in a day.”
The mare laughed, “Boss, you’ve still got that dry humor! How’re you holding up being a pony?”
The stallion cleared his throat, “It’s not bad. I wasn’t expecting Astaroth to actually turn me into a pony, but I suppose that’s for the best. I’ve yet to see a single human here.”
The mare smiled, “It’s because there aren’t any. Daddy told me this place is ran by nothing but mythological creatures. Unicorns, pegasi, griffons, dragons, et cetera. Well, I need to get going now, Boss! I’ll check back tomorrow!”
The stallion nodded. He chuckled, “Don’t get too many ponies in trouble, Ms. Catherine. I would hate to have to report you to your father.”
The mare turned at the door and giggled, “You wouldn’t do that! You know you need me!” She blew the stallion a kiss and walked out of the bar.
The stallion was left alone in silence to ponder his thoughts. He sighed, “I need a drink.” Taking a glass from under the counter and pulling a bottle of whiskey from the shelves behind him, he popped the top and poured the glass to the brim. In a single swig, he downed the entire glass. Placing a cork in the opened whiskey bottle, he placed it under the counter. He rinsed the glass out in the sink below the shelves of alcohol and dried it with his cloth.
Thomas Mutton was here to do a job. He was here to rid the world of the unfaithful stallions that refused to commit. If they needed a little convincing that they were unfaithful, Catherine would provide that convincing. The two had worked together for years, the Demon Lord Nergal never actually accepting his daughter’s occupation. Just like her mother, she was a succubus, and had to do what she did.
Thomas’s eyes shined brightly beneath his shades. He was going to open the bar to the public the following night, and he would keep a watchful eye open for any pony that seemed to need a little convincing…or a little judgment…
"Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love; it is the faithless who know love’s tragedies." -Oscar Wilde
It was a bright, sunny spring morning, and Shining Armor awoke to the sound of the birds chirping outside of his window. Armor didn’t have to be on duty at all for the rest of the week, so it was his time to kick back and relax. He stretched and yawned, trying to wake up before hopping out of bed. His ruffled blue mane shined in the sunlight that poured in from the window. His blue eyes glistened in the light as he stared at the ceiling.
Beside him in his bed another pony stirred awake. The mare was holding him tight, her head resting on his shoulder. Her pink-purple mane was rustled into a messy bundle, scattered around her head. Her light-purple eyes glowed as she yawned and stretched beside Armor. She sat up in the bed, placing a hoof gently on his chest.
Armor spoke softly, “Good morning, Princess. Did you sleep well?” He smiled.
Princess Cadence giggled, “I sure did. How about you?”
Armor nodded, looking back up at the ceiling. “So, did you have any plans for tonight?”
Cadence yawned again, “Sort of…Why do you ask?”
Armor sat up in the bed. He said, “A couple of the other guards were talking about some new bar opening tonight in town. I was wondering if you wanted to check the place out.”
Cadence smiled sheepishly, “I don’t know about that… I don’t really like bars.”
Armor frowned, “At c’mon, Cadence! It’ll be great. It’s supposed to be a really fancy place opening up.”
“I think I’ll have to pass, Armor. But you should go ahead and go.” She looked him in the eyes.
“Are you sure about that? I don’t get days off often, so I thought we could spend this week together.” He looked at her.
She smiled, and then spoke softly, “We’ll have plenty of time to spend together when I get back from my trip.”
Armor looked at her with a confused expression. “Trip? What trip?”
She scoffed, “The one I told you about last night! Celestia, Luna, and I have to leave Canterlot for a few days. We’re going to visit some friends out of town.”
He couldn’t remember anything about a trip. In fact, now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember anything about last night. From the time he got off duty to the time he woke up this morning, he couldn’t remember anything. “I guess I must’ve forgotten…” he said sheepishly.
Cadence rolled her eyes. “I don’t guess I can blame you. Last night was a little wild.” She smiled at him.
Armor scratched his head, trying to remember what had happened last night. He couldn’t remember anything. It was starting to bug him. “Well, are you sure you don’t want to check the place out before you leave?”
Cadence shook her head before climbing from the bed. She walked over to the small rack that stood against the wall of the room. Using her magic, she wrapped her dress around her and placed her tiara on her head. She stepped into her shoes before turning to say something else. “You know, Armor… We’ve been together for a few years, right?”
Armor looked at her, unsure of where this was going. “Yeah, three of them. And they’ve all been wonderful.”
Walking closer to the bed, Cadence sighed, “You know, Armor, I think we should make it official.”
Armor looked at her with wide eyes. Of course he knew what she meant. “Y-you think we should? I-I don’t know, Cadence…”
Cadence scoffed, “You know, we can’t stay in the same spot forever. We should think about moving forward. You know I’m right…”
Armor had nothing to say to that. He was speechless. He’d always known that the day would come, but he never truly readied himself for it. Now that he thought about it, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to get married yet or not. Seeing his expression and knowing he had nothing to say, Cadence turned to leave Armor’s chambers without another word. She left the room, closing the door behind her. Armor was left speechless.
She wants to get…married? But I just don’t think I’m ready for something like that. Not yet. I’m not even really sure. I’ll have to think about this a little bit longer… Armor’s thoughts bounced all over the place over the course of the next few minutes. Finally, he decided to cast the thoughts out of his head.
He decided he would go check on the other guards in the barracks. He wasn’t the only guard on vacation this week. Four of his best friends—and loyal subordinates—were also on vacation. They were the ones who told him about the new bar. He decided he would go see if they were awake yet, and off he went.
He had a bad feeling that Cadence was mad at him, and that was something he didn’t like very much. He tried not to think too much about it as he entered the Royal Guards’ barracks on the east side of the castle. He wasn’t surprised when he found majority of the guards still asleep. It was only around seven in the morning, so it made sense that they would be out cold. A voice called to him from the spiral staircase that led to the upstairs barracks.
“Whatcha doing Captain? Aren’t you on vacation?” One of the Royal Guards walked down the stairs to greet him.
He chuckled, “I could ask you the same thing, Rough! What have I told you about wearing your armor off-duty?”
The guard laughed, “It makes me look good for the mares. Besides, what are you doing here, anyway? I figured you and Princess Cadence would still be snuggled up together in bed.”
Armor shot him an annoyed glare, “Yeah, I don’t think Cadence is too happy with me right now.”
One of the other guards stirred in his bed, yawning. “Captain, that you?” The guard sat up, stretching.
“Sorry Rain, we didn’t mean to wake you.” Rough spoke a little quieter.
The guard yawned again, “It’s alright. Is something up?” The guard stood up from his bed and stretched his back.
“I think we oughta go someplace else before we wake anypony else up.” Armor looked at Rough. With a nod, the three now-awake ponies left the barracks and headed toward the castle’s Dining Hall for some breakfast…
The three of them happily enjoyed their breakfasts, waking up and getting ready for the day ahead of them. After they had finished eating, Armor asked, “We’re still on for that new bar in town, right?”
Rough replied with a laugh, “What kind of self-respecting stallion wouldn’t want to try a new bar? Especially on the grand opening! I hear the owner has every drink you can imagine stocked on his shelves!”
Rain groaned, “Yeah, and I hear he lives in the back of the bar. Dude doesn’t have a house in town.”
Armor chuckled, “I heard he bought the building for over two-hundred-thousand bits! Can you blame the fella for not having a house?”
Rough waved his hoof in enthusiasm as he said, “The building is supposed to be huge by Canterlot standards. I can’t imagine why he’d need a separate home!”
“Do you guys even know the owner’s name?” Another of the guards from the barracks plopped down beside Rain, a tray of food in front of him.
Rain laughed, “It’s about time you got your sorry ass outta bed, Lightning!” He slapped the guard on the back with a hoof.
Rough talked quieter as he said, “I hear he comes from a town all the way on the other side of the world, beyond the Everfree Forest. The sign on the bar’s door says his name is Boss, but I get the feeling that isn’t his real name.”
Armor couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Boss? What kind of egotistical jackass do you have to be to call yourself Boss?”
Lightning clapped his hooves, “Apparently a super-rich one. I hear the monthly payments on that building are so high that even Fancypants can’t afford it!”
“How much money does this dude have?!” Another guard plopped down beside Rough, his tray filled to the brim with food.
Armor mumbled, “Hopefully enough. We don’t want to get hooked on the place just to have it go bankrupt.”
Lightning scoffed, “What took you so long to get here, Brawny? You left the barracks before I did!”
The new member of the group scratched his head as he said, “I had to talk to the old mare. You know how spouses are…”
Rain waited a second before commenting, “Dude, you’re the only one here that’s actually married. We don’t know how it is.”
Armor’s eyes lit up at the mention of the word ‘marriage’. He lowered his voice as he told them, “So…uh…I think Cadence wants to get things a bit more serious now…”
Brawny raised an eyebrow in curiosity. He asked, “More serious how? You don’t mean…?”
Armor nodded. Lightning’s hoof hit the table, “You two are finally tying the knot?!”
Armor shushed him, “No! I mean, not yet. I mean…I don’t know. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that kind of commitment.”
Rough looked around the room. “I think we oughta save this type of talk for when we’re away from listening ears and prying eyes. We can talk about it at the bar tonight, alright?”
The five of them shared nods of agreement, and they changed the subject back to talking about the new bar.
Lightning rubbed his hooves together excitedly as he told his friends, “The barkeep actually sold tickets to his grand opening yesterday. They were sold out within the hour! So when I went there last night to buy some for us, he turned me down! But luckily I’m a guard, and I have a little bit of authority in this town…” His voice trailed off as Armor shot him an angry glare.
“You extorted tickets from him with your title?! What the hell is wrong with you?!” Armor’s hoof hit the table.
Lightning flinched and continued, “N-no, nothing like that! When he saw my uniform, he told me to sign our names on some clipboard, and he’d make sure we had some seats reserved! I didn’t do anything! I was about to leave when he practically forced the clipboard into my hooves!”
Armor sat back down, letting out a sigh. “You had me scared for a second, Lightning. Do you have any idea how much trouble you could get in for abusing power like that?”
Lightning thought about the last stallion to get punished for abusing his influence. “Yep, we could end up like poor old Larry…”
The group laughed at the mention of the dumbass. Rain stretched as he stood up from his seat at the table. “So, we’re set for nine, right?”
Lightning nodded, and Rain walked off to put his tray up. Brawny followed him. It was at this time that the three remaining ponies got up from the table and went their separate ways. They’d have plenty of time to talk at the bar tonight. In the meantime, they each had business to attend to…
Day 1, Stray Stallion Back Room- 7:23am
Thomas Mutton sat on his small cot he called a bed, listening to the sounds of the ponies in the streets happily passing by his bar. Many would stop and read the signs on the door, then continue on with excited chatter. He hadn’t expected his grand opening to sale out. He was almost guaranteed to find at least one unfaithful stallion tonight. Maybe it would even be the guard that came to him last night.
He closed his eyes for just a second, and when he reopened them, Catherine was sitting in the chair across the room. He jumped when his mind registered her presence. He shouted, “Don’t scare me like that, Ms. Catherine! I thought you said you had clients outside of town!”
She giggled, “I do, but I decided to stop by and say hello. It’s not like I have to worry about being late. I mean, I can essentially teleport.”
Thomas sighed, “Really? Lord Nergal finally gave you that, eh?”
“Yeppers! Now I can go anywhere I want with a snap of the fingers!” She laughed as she fiddled with the small round emblem around her neck.
“I hope he knows just what he’s done…” Thomas leaned back against the wall, looking at the clock. “It won’t be long now. You should probably clear up your schedule, because there will be dozens of stallions here tonight. I’m betting at least one will need a little bit of tempting.”
Catherine squealed excitedly, “Ooh, more work! I can’t wait! I hope it’s a sexy stallion, just like Vincent! <3”
Thomas chuckled, “I’m sure you do, Ms. Catherine. At any rate, you should do your best to avoid messing with anyone tonight. There will be too many witnesses that won’t be able to see you.”
Catherine laughed, “You think I don’t know that? I learned my lesson with Vincent. If I’m going to beat someone up, it needs to be where no one will hear!” She let a seductive smile grace her lips.
Thomas stood up from his bed, grabbing his shades and putting them on before opening his eyes. “I think you ought to leave, Ms. Catherine. I can’t have potential customers thinking I’m talking to myself.”
Catherine giggled, “Okey-dokey! I’ll be back later tonight, kay? Try not to judge too many stallions before I get a chance to find one, alright?” Blowing another kiss in Thomas’s direction, she disappeared as suddenly as she showed up.
Thomas adjusted his shades as he sighed, “This will prove to be an interesting game. I do hope I find a competitor like Vincent. At least then I might have to work harder building the towers.”
He stepped out of the bar’s back room and walked behind the counter. He pulled a glass and the bottle of whiskey from under the counter and took another swig. His mind raced with thoughts of just what kind of ponies he would meet tonight…
Day 1, Princess Cadence’s Room- 1:25pm
Princess Cadence paced back and forth from one side of the room to the other. She stopped periodically to look at the door, almost as if she was expecting something or someone to come through. After staring at the door for a few seconds, she would return to her pacing. After a few more minutes of pacing, Shining Armor walked into the room.
Cadence snapped, “Where have you been? I’ll be leaving in less than half an hour!”
Armor walked up to her, an ‘I’m screwed’ expression on his face. He stuttered, “I-I kind of lost track of time. But in all fairness, the message was short notice.”
Cadence stepped up beside him and lowered her voice. “Look, I know what you’re thinking about earlier today. It was a bit sudden to bring it up.” She hugged him, and then continued with, “But when I get back from this trip, we have to have a real discussion about it, okay? Promise?”
Armor hugged her back. He whispered sheepishly, “P-promise. A real talk.”
With that, Armor picked up Cadence’s large luggage bag and followed her as she made her way to the throne room to meet with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Placing the luggage bag next to the rest of them outside the throne room door, Armor said one last goodbye and walked off, headed for the barracks once more to meet up with the other guards…
Day 1, Upstairs Guards Barracks- 3:00pm
“I’m telling you guys, she’s serious about this!” Armor sat down at a table with his friends, playing some blackjack to pass the time.
Rough scoffed, “Just give her a few days. I bet once she gets back from this trip she’s going on, she’ll forget all about marriage talk.”
Brawny laughed, “Just don’t screw yourself over and bring it up. Let her do that.”
Lightning slapped Armor on the back. “You’re worrying too much about this, Captain. Just drown your worries with some liquor when we get to the bar, and see if that doesn’t help you out!”
Rain nodded his head, “Yeah, I think a few drinks will definitely calm you down a bit.”
Armor sighed, “Alright, fine. I’ll try and forget about this for now, but I know this won’t be the last I hear about it…”
Rain placed a hoof on Armor’s shoulder, “You are worrying way too much. At least you know Cadence won’t be around for a few days, so you’ve got some time to relax until she gets back.”
“Rain’s right. At least relax while she isn’t here. You can cross the bridge when you get to it.” Brawny took a swig from his mug of cider.
“Fine, I won’t worry about it until she gets back. What time is it, anyway?” Armor looked around the room, seeing that there wasn’t a clock in sight.
Lightning cheered, “Almost three! We only have a few more hours to wait!”
The five of them sat at the table playing blackjack and shooting the shit for what felt like forever. Finally, at about half-past eight, the group decided it was time to head to the bar and see just what kind of services were offered there...
Night 1, Stray Stallion- 9:23pm
The five guards sat in a booth at the very back of the bar. They were astounded by the sheer luxury of the bar’s designs. The tables, chairs, and booths were all so carefully crafted and shaped for comfort. The rumors about the barkeep owning every type of alcohol imaginable were also true, to Armor’s delight. The bar was completely packed with stallions and mares all wanting to find and try something exotic. It was surprising that the bar didn’t actually run out of alcohol with as many ponies as were in attendance.
After the first few hours, the bar really died down. By midnight, most of the patrons had already left, satisfied by the number of drinks they were able to try. Either that or they had run out of bits. No matter the reason, most of the ponies had left early and the bar was now peaceful and quiet. Aside from a few ponies here and there, and a jukebox in the far corner of the bar, the place was silent.
Rain sparked a new conversation by saying, “Okay, we all know the rules. Whatever we say here will stay here!” The others nodded. “There will be absolutely no talking your drunken friends into doing something incredibly stupid!” Another round of nods. “And, of course, if you get wasted and end up waking up next to an ugly mare, you have to tell each of us all about it.” The group burst into laughter.
Armor called to the stallion behind the counter, “Hey barkeep, another round of drinks over here!”
The stallion adjusted his shades, “Certainly. Five glasses of rum and cola coming right up.” He quickly poured the five beverages and placed them on a tray. A mare with a gray coat and black mane picked up the tray and carried it over to Armor’s booth.
The five guards’ jaws dropped when they realized who the mare was. Lightning was the first to speak up, “Octavia?! W-what are you doing working here?!”
The mare scoffed, “Just because I’m a musician doesn’t mean I don’t do actual work, Lightning. This job opened up, so I figured why not.”
“I never would’ve guessed you would work as a waitress in a bar.” Rain shrugged his shoulders, taking his glass from the tray. The others did the same.
Octavia smiled, “You learn something new every day, don’t you?” She took the tray and walked back toward the counter.
“Thank you, Ms. Octavia.” The stallion behind the counter nodded in thanks, and returned to polishing the mug in front of him.
Armor got up from his booth and walked over to the counter. He took a seat on one of the barstools, his glass in his hoof. “So what’s your name, buddy?” He looked at the stallion behind the counter.
The stallion laughed, “I assume you aren’t one of the dozens of stallions that stopped to stare at the signs on the door.”
Lightning chuckled as he took a seat beside Armor at the counter, “You’d assume correctly, good sir.”
“Geez Lightning, why don’t you kiss more ass?” Rain plopped down beside him.
Brawny and Rough walked over and took seats on the other side of Armor. The stallion behind the counter continued, “My name is Boss. Or at least, that’s what everyone back home called me. I’m the stallion that purchased this building and stocked this bar. Are you having a good time?”
Armor tried to hide a laugh. “So wait, your name is really Boss?”
Boss nodded, and the five guards burst into laughter. Brawny managed to stop laughing long enough to answer Boss’s question. “This place is amazing! It’s got everything! Atmosphere, friendly service, convenient location, and the largest selection of alcohol ever!”
Lightning added, “It must’ve taken forever to gather all these different drinks.”
Boss laughed, “It didn’t take that long. I’ve had plenty of time, either way. I’m not sure if you can tell, but I’m not the youngest stallion in town.”
Armor chuckled, “Well, you’re definitely the richest if you’re paying for this place!”
Boss scratched his head, blushing. “So, tell me a little about yourselves. I care to take interest in the goings-on of my customers.”
Rough slapped Armor on the back. “Well, old Captain here’s afraid of tying the knot with his lover!”
Armor shot him an angry glare. Boss raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “Afraid to tie the knot? Why ever would that be?”
Armor sighed, “It’s not that I’m afraid, I just don’t think I’m ready for such a large step up the ladder.”
Brawny laughed, “Trust me, man, it ain’t that bad. I mean, you lose almost all of your freedom, but at least you have someone to hold at night.”
Boss looked at Brawny with a smile. “I take it you are married, then?”
Brawny shrugged his shoulders, “Yep. Been married for almost a year. If the first year is the hardest, then my marriage is a piece of cake.”
Rain looked at Boss with a curious smile. “And what about you, Boss? You got a significant other?”
Boss adjusted his shades. “I did, at one point. Alas, she went out of town for a few days. When she returned, she caught me with another woman in our home. I was a fool, and she was a scary lady. We split up not long after that. Of course, I also lost the harlot I had cheated with. In the end, I was left with nothing but my money.”
Armor gave him a sympathetic frown, “That’s rough, dude. Any particular reason you cheated?”
Boss smiled, “When a love comes to an end, weaklings cry, efficient ones instantly find another love, and the wise already have one in reserve…to quote the musings of a certain someone. To put it simply, I was playing the field while my lover was gone.”
The five of them looked at Boss in confusion. Armor asked, “Have any advice you want to give me with my problem?”
Boss sighed, “Sadly, I do not believe that I am the one to ask for relationship advice. However, I would suggest you decide what you want to do. Do you want to be with your lover forever, or do you want to be able to sleep around with other women?”
Rough laughed, “I know what I’d do! But I think it’s pretty obvious what Captain’ll do.”
“I-I don’t know. I mean, I want to be with Cadence, but I’m not sure if I want to be tied down like that…” Armor took a swig of his rum and cola, taking a deep breath.
Boss placed a hoof on Armor’s shoulder, “Of course you have no reason to decide immediately. These kinds of decisions take time. Perhaps if you mull it over before you go to sleep, your mind will clear itself when you awake.”
Armor chuckled, “Do you think so?”
Rain scoffed, “Probably not. The answer won’t come to you in the blink of an eye.”
The group sat at the bar and drank down a few more glasses before finally deciding it was time to leave. Brawny patted Armor on the back, “You ready to head back to the castle?”
Armor laughed, “Nah, I think I’ll stick around and have a few more drinks. You guys take it easy.”
Lightning asked, “You sure about this, Captain? We don’t need you getting wasted and screwing something up.”
Armor scoffed, “I’m perfectly fine, Lightning. I can handle my alcohol, thank you.”
With that, the four guards left the bar. The only people left in the bar were Boss and Armor. Octavia had left an hour or so ago so she could leave and get some sleep. Tomorrow would be another busy day at the bar. After a few more drinks, Armor decided it was high time to head back to the castle. He left his bits on the counter and headed toward the door. Just as he opened the door, a young mare walked through and collided right into him. They both fell to the ground.
Armor hustled to his hooves, flustered by his clumsiness. He extended a hoof to help the mare up. “A-are you o-okay, Miss?”
The mare looked up at him with innocent blue eyes. She exclaimed, “I-I’m terribly sorry! I should’ve been watching where I was going!” She took his hoof and lifted herself up as Armor pulled her to her hooves.
Armor blushed, captivated by the mare in front of him. “Th-that’s fine, Miss. I-I should’ve been more careful…”
The mare looked into his eyes, and giggled, “Here, let me buy you a drink for the inconvenience.”
Armor couldn’t look away; he was captivated by the mare’s beauty. “N-no, that’s alright. I was just heading home to-…”
The mare took his hoof and dragged him back to a booth. She looked over at Boss and winked. Armor couldn’t resist. It was as if her beauty literally left him immobile. He managed to choke out, “S-so what’s your name, M-Miss?”
The mare giggled again, “You don’t have to be so formal, Mister. My name’s Catherine. What’s yours?”
Armor fell silent for a second, before realizing she had asked him a question. “Uh… My name is Shining Armor… Catherine’s a nice name…” He blushed as he realized what he had said.
Boss walked up to the booth, carrying two glasses of whiskey on a tray. “Two drinks, Ms. Catherine.”
Armor looked at them with curiosity. “You know each other?”
Boss blushed, “We met earlier today. She helped me organize the alcohols in the shelves.” Boss was a quick thinker when he needed to be.
Catherine laughed, “Thank you, Boss. So…Shining Armor, you say? What exactly do you do around here?”
Armor stuttered, “I-I’m captain of the R-Royal Guard. I make sure the town is s-safe.” Catherine slowly started moving closer to him.
She exclaimed, “The captain of the Royal Guard?! That’s sounds like an amazing position! I’m sure you get tons of work in such a large city.”
Armor rubbed his hoof through his mane, trying to think of something to say. “Well, it’s not the easiest job ever, but it isn’t that bad.”
Catherine placed her elbow on the table and rested her head on her hoof. She looked up at Armor with those innocent eyes. “So, how long have you been with the Royal guard?”
“About sixteen years now, I think.” He looked into her eyes, butterflies taking flight in his stomach.
“Wow, so you’re a veteran!” Catherine’s eyes lit up.
Armor’s hoof shook wildly as he picked up his glass of whiskey. He took a swig, and then replied, “Not really. I just keep my eyes open…”
Catherine laughed, “You’re pretty humble for such a high-ranking officer.”
Armor went to take another swig of whiskey, but the glass slipped right out of his grip, spilling all over the both of them. He jumped from his seat, “I’m so sorry! Hey Boss, can we get some towels?!” He face flushed red as the alcohol ran all over the table and their coats.
Catherine giggled, “Well, at least the day’s over now. It’s not like anyone will notice.” Boss handed them a few towels and left them to clean up the mess.
Armor mumbled, “I’m so sorry for this! It was a complete accident…”
Catherine took his arm and pulled him back down into his seat. She whispered in his ear, “You know, you really oughta loosen up a bit, big fella…” Before Armor could say anything in response, Catherine planted a kiss right on his lips.
Armor’s face flushed red and his body loosened up. Before long, he was embracing the beautiful mare beside him, returning the kiss…and then some.
Boss smiled as he watched Catherine yank Armor back to his seat and kiss him. Maybe now Armor would see just how faithful he truly was to Princess Cadence. It’s a shame that such a high-ranking pony would have to be the first victim of the nightmares. Of course, Armor’s other friends were just as bad…
"All things truly wicked start from an innocence." - Ernest Hemingway
A/N: After this chapter, don't be alarmed if updates take a while to come out. Writing the nightmares will take some skill, considering how difficult it will be transform the essence and feel of the gameplay into words.
*A/N: If you’ve read The Grand Opening (chapter 2) any time before 9:30pm on June 4, 2012, the names of the four guards have been changed from human names to more Pony-esque names. I’ve added a blog post telling what the names were changed to. Please refer to that for less confusion. Thank you.*
Night 1, The Underground Cemetery- 3:00am
Shining Armor squirmed and writhed as he felt an eerie cold wash over him. His eyes jolted open as he listened to the sound of terrified screaming echo around him. Leaping to his hooves, he looked around him, trying to find the source of the screaming. He didn’t see anything. He found himself in a large, open, black expanse, with dim light and no outstanding features. A little ways away from him was a large purple door, a dim white light glowing around it.
Armor’s head jerked back and forth, searching the darkness for anything other than the door. To his dismay, he found nothing. Suddenly, another scream rang out in the dark expanse. It sounded like it was coming from the other side of the door. With nothing else to do, Armor approached the door with a frightened and curious expression. He placed a single hoof on the door’s knob, and a beam of white light engulfed him.
When the light faded, he found himself standing in front of the very door he had just touched. In front of him, he saw giant white blocks lined up, stack on top of one another, reaching ever upward like a staircase. He looked all around the area, scanning the blocks with his eyes.
“What the hell is this place?” he mumbled to himself.
A loud rumbling sound echoed throughout the area, and the platform he was currently standing on vibrated wildly. He looked around, almost losing his footing, trying to find the source of the rumbling. Looking down below him, he watched as an entire level of blocks fell from the pile, falling into a seemingly endless black void. He looked around the rest of the area, noticing distinct features in the distance.
The area was surrounded by a huge wall of what looked like dirt, tree roots bursting from it and reaching ever upward. Armor looked down into the black void once more, wondering where he was. He could’ve sworn he saw something move in the darkness.
A voice snapped him back to reality, “Excuse me sir, I don’t know who the hell you are, but you had best get moving!” Armor looked up to find the source of the voice. There was a single pony a few dozen steps above him. The pony had no significant features aside from a thin blue mustache above its lower lip. Its coat was solid black and it had no mane or tail. Its eyes were crimson red, with a single black slit for pupils.
“Wh-where the hell am I?!” Armor called to the pony.
The pony shrugged its shoulders, climbing up another step. “I honestly have no clue. But if you don’t climb, you’ll be dragged down with the blocks!” The pony pointed a hoof downward as the tower of blocks vibrated again. Armor looked down to see another row of blocks fall into the darkness.
He screamed, “You’ve gotta be kidding me, right? This is just some trick, right?!” He climbed up the block in front of him, attempting to get farther from the bottom of the tower.
The pony climbed another step before calling back down, “I’m not going to find out! Get climbing, my friend! We can talk when we get to the top!”
Armor was about to call up to the pony when it left his line of sight, reaching ever higher into the tower. With another rumble, another row of blocks fell from below him. He looked down for a moment, and then stamped a hoof. He had to climb up this expanse of blocks if he wanted to live.
Armor climbed up the staircase of blocks, one step after another, trying as hard as he could to believe that this would end. He didn’t know where he was or why he was here. All he knew was that he had to survive. After climbing a dozen or so steps, the pony called down to him.
“Do you see that pillow right there?” The pony pointed a hoof at the block a few blocks away from Armor.
Armor looked at the object on the block and nodded to the pony. “What about it?” he called back up.
The pony smiled, “I’m not sure what it does, but you might want to grab it! You can’t be too certain about anything in this place!” The pony continued climbing once he finished talking. He was out of sight once again.
Armor ran across the few blocks and picked up the object. It was soft and cushiony, similar in shape and size to a pillow. The object disappeared in a flash of blue light. Left to ponder just what the pillow did, another few rows of blocks fell from underneath Armor. He shook the wonder from his mind, deciding it would be best to continue climbing.
He was surprised with how simply the tower was built. It was exactly like one giant staircase. There was no maneuvering or thinking required. All he had to do was keep climbing up the steps one by one. After another few minutes of climbing, the pony’s voice called to him again.
“You’re still going at it? That’s good!” Armor looked up to see the pony standing on a golden block right in front of a glowing door.
Armor called to him, “Is that the exit?”
The pony laughed, “I think so! I think we’re home free now! Do you see that bag right beside you?”
Armor looked to his right, and a small bag sat on a block a few blocks away. “Yeah, what about it?”
The pony cheered, “I don’t know what’s inside of it, but you might find a use for it later on! In fact, if you see anything lying around, you should definitely pick it up! You’ll never know when something may come in handy!” The pony placed a hoof on the door and disappeared in a flash of white light.
Armor stamped a hoof and picked up the bag. It disappeared in a flash of gold light, almost exactly like the pillow had before. Without wasting time to think about what could’ve been in the bag, Armor turned his head upward toward the door. He continued climbing up the tower, getting ever closer to the door.
Finally, Armor stepped up on the golden block and reached a hoof out to the door. A scream rang out from below him, stopping his hoof. Looking down into the dark expanse, Armor saw something move. A giant hoof appeared in the darkness, seemingly reaching toward him.
A distorted, demonic voice called out to him, “You’ll never escape this place! You’ll climb until you die!” Armor watched as a face and body materialized in the darkness.
The sight of the creature appearing out of nowhere made Armor leap backwards into the door behind him. He let out a single loud shout as a white light engulfed him. “What the hell is that thing?!” His voice echoed in the vast expanse of the tower as his body disappeared in the light. The creature below disappeared...
Night 1, Stray Stallion- 3:30am
“Judging by the way he was squirming when I left, I assume you’ve already put him in the nightmare?” Catherine sat on the bar’s counter, her hooves tapping against the marble as she impatiently waited for the time to pass.
Boss adjusted his shades, a smile on his face. “Yes, Ms. Catherine. You’ve done well. Hopefully by the end of tonight Mr. Armor will decide what he truly wants to do.”
Catherine scoffed, “You know it isn’t that easy! If you should’ve learned anything back on Earth, it’s that some men’s wills just can’t be shattered.”
Boss groaned, “Yes. There were eight men last time that survived and continued fighting until the end. Vincent saved them all.”
Catherine giggled, “You know, it takes a powerful leader to help so many people with their problems. Especially while he’s dealing with his own.”
“Yes, it does. I underestimated those men. I had never encountered such willpower before that time.” Boss sighed as he placed a newly-polished mug under the counter.
Catherine frowned, “Do you think he’ll make it through the night?”
Boss smiled as he said, “Of course he will. He may not be very certain of marrying Cadence, but he definitely has the will to live. I don’t think he’ll die easily.”
“And what about the other stallions that were here tonight? Was Armor the only one you sent to the nightmares?”
“Of course not. There were a few other stallions here tonight that I sent in to be judged. In fact, a couple of them have already passed away.” Boss’s shades shined with a faint light as he said this.
Catherine squealed, “Ooh! So it’s already begun then? This should be a fun game, don’t you think?”
Boss laughed, “Of course it shall be fun. I feel as if this world will give me a challenge. I do hope I have to create more difficult towers for these ponies.”
“I had best get back to bed before Armor wakes up! See ya tomorrow Boss!” Catherine disappeared in the blink of an eye.
Boss turned to look at the clock on the wall. Just as it struck four o’clock, his shades lit up again. He bowed his head and smiled, knowing that another unfaithful swine had been killed. He was happy with himself. Only one night of judging the men of this new world and he had already rid it of four stallions…
Day 2, Shining Armor’s Chambers- 5:30am
Shining Armor groaned and thrashed in his bed as the nightmare continued playing back in his subconscious mind. His eyes darted open as he finally let out a scream of fear. Jerking his body to look around the room, Armor found himself in his chambers, under his covers, in his own bed. His eyes darted around, praying that he wouldn’t find any trace of the eerie darkness that clouded his head as he slept.
What the hell just happened? What was that about? I…I can’t remember anything! All I remember is climbing some stairs…but what does that mean? Armor’s thoughts raced all over the place, trying to remember just what exactly he had dreamed about. All he could remember is that it was scary.
The mare lying beside him mumbled as she stirred from her sleep, “Is something wrong, Armor? You seem a little tense…”
Armor’s eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped as he took notice of the mare in his bed. She had a familiar coat and voice. He recognized her vaguely from the bar. He remembered running into her just as he was leaving and helping her off the ground. He couldn’t remember anything else about the mare. It wasn’t his lack of knowledge that scared him, however. It was the fact that the mare wasn’t Princess Cadence.
The mare stared into his eyes as she asked, “Did you sleep well?”
Armor’s thoughts raced as he tried to piece together just what exactly had happened to lead her to his chambers. He couldn’t remember anything else about her aside from knocking her down as he was leaving the bar. He stuttered, “Y-yeah, perfectly f-fine… Wh-what about y-you?” He couldn’t believe what was happening. Had he really cheated on Cadence with this new mare?
The mare rose up in the bed, placing a hoof on Armor’s chest. She spoke softly, “I slept wonderfully. Last night was amazing…” She had an alluring tone in her voice, and her eyes seemed to shine in the sunlight that came through the window.
Armor’s eyes grew wide as he thought about what she said. He managed to choke out, “Th-that’s great! I-I’m glad you enjoyed it… So uh, w-what time is it?” His eyes darted from side to side, trying to find some way out of this situation, hoping to get out of here and get to the barracks.
The mare replied softly, “Almost six. Do you have someplace you have to be?”
Armor’s brain latched on to this one moment of opportunity. “Y-yes! I need to get to the barracks before long! I-I’m sorry, but I have to get going!” He tossed the covers off of him and leaped to his hooves. He darted over to a small chest in the corner of the room and began placing his armor on.
The mare exclaimed, “That’s right! You said you were the captain of the guard! You really should get going!” She leaped from the bed and snatched her white dress from the floor of the room. Quickly placing it on and tying the bow around her neck, she headed for the door. Before opening it and heading through, she giggled, “Try not to overwork yourself, Armor! <3” Blowing a kiss in his direction, she swung open the door and headed out of the room.
In an instant, Armor was left to ponder just what exactly had just happened. He quickly closed the chest and plopped down on top of it, his mind racing with thoughts and questions.
What the fuck have I done? Why can’t I remember who that mare is? And why the fuck was she in my bed?! Did I really just cheat on Cadence? No, that’s not possible! I would never cheat! But…there’s no other explanation. I had to have cheated…but… Armor cradled his head in his hooves and screamed, “What the fuck just happened?!”
Day 2, Upstairs Guards Barracks- 8:30am
The five guards were gathered around a small table in the barracks, playing blackjack and discussing the matter of Armor’s morning. He explained to them everything that had happened after they left the bar the previous night. He also explained how he had woken up. At least, he explained everything he could remember. “Damn Captain, I never would’ve thought you were a cheater!” Brawny slapped a hoof on Armor’s back, trying his best to hide a laugh.
Lightning chuckled, “I tried to tell you that you should’ve left with us. But no, you had to stay and drink some more!”
Armor thrust his elbow into Lightning’s side. “That’s not funny, Lightning! This is serious! What the hell will I do?”
Rough scoffed, “There’s not much you can do. You can try and break it off with the new mare, explain everything to Cadence, and hope for the best. Or you could call it quits with Cadence and have fun with the fling. Your choice.” He took a swig from a bottle of cider sitting on the small table.
Armor shot him an angry glare, “You’re not helping much!”
Rain spoke up, “There’s not much we can do, Captain. You’ve dug your own grave, now you gotta live in it. Rough’s right about one thing, though: You’ll have to tell Cadence, no matter what you do.”
Brawny scoffed, “Or you could just keep them both and hide one from the other. That could get messy after a while, though.”
Armor slammed a hoof on the table, “This isn’t a joke, guys! I seriously need help! I can’t even remember her name…”
Lightning laughed, “You can’t remember the mare’s name? I thought you were at least better than that!”
Rain chuckled, “Oh boy, that’ll serve as some funny conversation the next time you two meet, won’t it? ‘Hey, I know we slept together and everything, but can you remind me what your name is?’” He lifted a bottle of cider from the ground and took a drink.
Armor laughed at Rain’s comment. He sighed, “You know, I really hope I can straighten all this out before Cadence gets back in town…”
Brawny placed a hoof on his shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll be fine, Armor. Cadence is a forgiving mare. She’ll look past a simple mistake. But you have to break it off with the new mare.”
Armor lowered his gaze to the table. He spoke softly, “Yeah, I know. I just don’t know how to tell her that I’m in a relationship. There’s no telling what she’ll do…”
Rough took another swig of cider before commenting, “You’re willing to risk your relationship to spare the feelings of a woman that very possibly seduced you while you were drunk? That seems totally legit, Captain.”
Brawny laughed, “He’s got a point, Captain. You really do have some backwards priorities right now. Tell you what: Let’s go to the Stray Stallion tonight and ask Boss what he thinks.”
“He did say he likes to help his customers with their problems.” Rain added.
Armor nodded his head, “I don’t have much to lose, do I?”
Rough laughed, “That’s the spirit, Armor! Just stop worrying so much and focus on what you’re going to do. Don’t worry; just let the answer come to you!”
The five of them sat around for most of the day, playing cards and talking about their thoughts on the whole situation with the new mare and Armor. The entire time he was with them, Armor couldn’t help but wonder just how exactly the affair started. He also couldn’t quite understand just why he couldn’t remember anything about last night or the dream he had had…
Day 2, Stray Stallion Back Room- 10:00am
Boss sat on the small couch in the corner of his room, kicked back and watching the news on his television. He laughed as he changed the channel to a news station. “Otherworldly television. At least Lord Nergal’s hooked me up with entertainment in this weird world.”
The program on the television had a small blue bar at the bottom with the words ‘Stray Sheep’s Closure’ written across it. Boss looked at the text and switched the TV off. A voice beside him rang out, “So I guess they finally closed the bar, huh?”
Boss jumped, not expecting the voice to come from nowhere. “Yes. And it’s about time, if you ask me. That place is nothing without me.” Boss chuckled, adjusting his shades and sitting up on the couch.
Catherine’s wide smile greeted him as he turned his head to the side. “You know Vincent and his friends will be pissed, right?”
Boss laughed, “Sacrifices must be made, Ms. Catherine. The next time you see your father, tell him I said thanks for the TV.”
Catherine giggled, “Sure will. So, how many stallions died last night?”
“I’m not quite sure. At least five. There were a few survivors. I hope that I’ll soon be able to either remove them from the tower or send more in.” Boss looked across the room to the small wooden door.
“Armor survived. He was freaking out when he woke up this morning.”
Boss raised an eyebrow. “Can you blame the poor man? He’s been a faithful lover for three years, and then suddenly awakes to find himself with a strange mare.”
Catherine smiled, “Them’s the brakes when you meet a succubus.”
“I imagine that he can’t even remember your name. He probably doesn’t remember the time you two spent here last night.” Boss remembered all too well how Vincent freaked out the first day after meeting Catherine.
“I have to be more careful this time. Armor already knows that you know me. I don’t have anonymity on my side this time.” Catherine crossed her arms, bowing her head low. She asked, “Who were the other stallions you brought in last night?”
Boss thought about it for a second. “They were just a bunch of stallions here in town. Most of them were just regular citizens. There was one very rich and influential pony here last night. He told me all about his many consorts he had in the town. He very much pissed me off, so I sent him to be judged. Sadly, he survived.”
Catherine noticed a slight tone of irritation in Boss’s voice. “I’ve never actually heard you get upset before. You’re always so calm. It’s scary…”
Boss cleared his throat, “Never mind that. I’m perfectly fine. I just can’t believe a stallion would go about bragging to others about the many lovers he has. An abuse of position and power if I’ve ever seen one.”
Catherine giggled, “You’ve got your work cut out for you, then.”
Boss laughed, “Nonsense. I don’t intend on letting any of these wretched swine reach the top of the tower. True freedom shall not be theirs.”
With a laugh, Catherine stood up on her hooves and walked to the door of the room. She winked at Boss, and disappeared again. Boss let out a deep sigh, kicking back on the couch. He thought about just what he would have to do to get the men of this world to realize their faults and change their ways. He also knew that he would need to step up the difficulty for them at this point. The first night was always the easiest, but that didn’t mean the rest had to be…
Night 2, Stray Stallion- 8:42pm
Boss stood behind the counter, listening to the miscellaneous chatter of the dozens of ponies gathered in the bar again. He happily listened to the problems and dreams and aspirations of his more drunken customers, and watched as their more sober companions attempted to convince them to leave. The bar was nowhere near as busy as it had been the previous night, which was a relief for Boss. He decided to focus his efforts on the few stallions that had survived the previous night’s nightmare.
He watched as Shining Armor and the four other guards wandered into the bar, working their way back to the booth they had sat in the previous night. Octavia quickly joined them and took their orders. Boss listened carefully to their conversation, noting Octavia’s expression as Armor lowered his head to the table. He turned to the stallion that was sitting at the counter recounting tales of wealth and grandeur. With a polite smile, Boss dismissed himself from the drunken stallion’s company, and went on his way to Armor’s table.
With a wave of his hoof, Boss greeted Armor. “Good evening, everypony. Is there something wrong, Mr. Armor? You seem a bit out of it.”
Lightning waved his hoof and greeted the bartender with a smile. “Captain’s just down on his luck right now. Got a lot going on in his head.”
Armor sighed, “Hey Boss, have you ever woke up in your bed with a mare that you didn’t know?”
Boss blushed as he replied, “My dear friend, of course I have. Alcohol can truly mess with one’s ability to think rationally. Why? Did this happen to you?”
Brawny chuckled, “Captain woke up next to some gorgeous mare. Now he’s going nuts trying to remember how it happened.”
Rain clapped his hooves, “Yep, can’t remember anything about last night or the mare’s name.”
Armor groaned, “I’m glad you guys are so willing to give out my personal info!”
Boss chuckled as he adjusted his shades, “You know, I do remember you and another mare sitting here last night. Ms. Catherine, I do believe.”
The name made something click in Armor’s head. He suddenly remembered not only the mare’s name, but the events that led up to them returning to his chambers in the castle. “Catherine was her name! So wait…You do remember her in here, right?”
Boss nodded, “Of course. She came in just as you were leaving. When you bumped into each other, she insisted she buy a drink to make amends. One thing led to another, and soon you two were kissing passionately in the booth.”
The four guards’ jaws dropped, their eyes fixed on Armor. His face flushed red as he laid his head on the table and plopped his hooves over it. He groaned in anger and humiliation.
Octavia came back to the table carrying a tray of food and drink. “So you cheated on Cadence. It’s not that big of a deal. People make mistakes. You just better hope to Celestia that she’ll forgive you.” She placed the plates and glasses in front of the respective customers.
Armor looked at her with curiosity, “I figured you of all people would chew me out!”
Octavia giggled, “Why should I? It’s not like you purposefully went out and found a mare to join you in your bed. Things happen sometimes.”
Boss cleared his throat to get their attention. He said, “Sometimes it is best to give in to the temptations of your heart so that you may better understand what it is you truly want in life. So let me ask you: What is it that you truly want?”
Armor sighed, “I want to be happy. What else would I want?”
Rough laughed, “I would prefer to have a little more fun in my life. To be able to let loose every now and again.”
Brawny shrugged his shoulders, “I could use a little more freedom from the Misses, but I’m pretty happy where I am.”
Rain shook his head, “I want a lot of things. But you know the old saying ‘want in one hoof, shit in the other.’”
“I want a mare to hold and care for. You know, I want to meet ‘the one.’ My soul mate.” Lightning held a hoof to his heart and put on a dramatic face.
Boss’s expression shifted from one of curiosity to one of disappointment. “You all seem to be occupied with helping yourselves. I can’t say I blame you, but it still seems to be a running pattern with you five.”
Armor’s hoof hit the table in irritation. “Tell you what I want Boss. I want to figure out why the hell I woke up next to Catherine and what my nightmare was about last night.”
Boss flinched back as Armor said this. “Well, I can assure you I am always here to talk if you need me. I am always glad to-…” Boss was in the middle of a sentence when a voice called to him from the counter.
“Excuse me, sir, but I would really care for a drink.” A tall, sturdy-built unicorn sat on the farthest barstool. He wore a black suit around his front hooves and a purple bowtie around his neck. He had a slicked-back blue man and thin blue mustache. The cutie mark on his flank was of three small crowns, each with a purple gem in the center.
Boss flushed red as he turned to address the stallion. “Of course, sir. Right away.” He nodded at the group of guards and headed back behind the counter to take the stallion’s orders.
Lightning whispered to the group, “Isn’t that Fancypants? I wonder why he’s in a bar like this…”
Rain shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, but he looks a little out of it.”
Armor looked at the rich pony sitting at the bar. He couldn’t place his hoof on it, but Fancypants seemed familiar for some reason. He could almost swear he had seen him recently. Getting up from the booth, Armor grabbed his glass of whiskey and headed over to the counter to talk with the two stallions that were conversing.
Armor took a seat next to Fancypants and listened as he finished his story. “…and I felt like I was climbing some strange staircase. All I really remember is that I was afraid I would die if I didn’t keep going up.”
Armor’s eyes lit up as he heard the story. “I know what you mean! I had a dream like that last night! It felt almost like I was climbing some stairs…”
Boss commented, “You both had similar dreams, then? That’s highly unusual, I would think.”
Fancypants looked Armor over carefully. “You know, now that you mention it, you do feel quite familiar. I know you’re the captain of the guard, but I don’t believe you and I have ever met.”
Armor thought about it for a second, “Actually, you may be right. But I still feel like we’ve met before somewhere…” He extended his hoof for a hoofshake.
Fancypants took his hoof and shook it, trying to figure out why he felt so familiar. He turned to Boss and continued, “There was another stallion in the dream as well. He was climbing below me. He had no defining features on him aside from a cutie mark on his flank. In fact, none of the ponies I saw in the dream had more than one defining feature.”
Armor nodded, “The same here. I was climbing some steps and met a pony that was completely featureless. The only thing that stood out was his blue mustache.”
Boss’s face contorted in shock as he looked between the two stallions. In his head, he screamed in anger. Keeping a calm, kind tone, he asked, “Do you have any idea what caused the dream?”
Fancypants shook his head, “I have no guess as to what brought it on. I can certainly hope that it doesn’t happen tonight, however.”
Armor sighed, “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Boss. If Cadence finds out…Or if Catherine finds out… I don’t think there’s any way for me to get out of this mess without consequence.”
Boss laughed as he refilled Armor’s glass of whiskey. “You really need to think about what you’ve done. I don’t believe in preaching to my customers, but you need to decide which of the two mares you care for the most.”
Armor took a drink of the whiskey before saying, “I know for a fact that I love Cadence. I don’t even know how I ended up in bed with Catherine. It’s just…I don’t know if I’m ready to marry Cadence just yet…”
Fancypants raised an eyebrow and drank down a shot of sake. He asked, “You and the princess are lovers? I had no idea. I would think the answer would be obvious.”
“Oh yeah? Well what’s the answer?” Armor scoffed.
“If you simply must make a choice, the princess is the better of the two.” Fancypants waved a hoof matter-of-factly.
Boss adjusted his shades, “Why do you say that, Mr. Fancypants?”
Fancypants scoffed, “Because she is royalty, and of the highest ranking in society. Social status is much more important than any other deciding factor.”
Armor looked at Fancypants as if he were insane. “Are you kidding me? So it doesn’t have anything to do with love? You’ve got some backwards priorities, man.”
“And you don’t? Believe me, I didn’t make my fortune by committing to a single mare. I used the ones I needed to get where I am. Once I had what I needed, they were gone, and I was a richer stallion.” Fancypants grinned as he thought back to all the mares he had used to get to his position in society.
Boss sighed, “Sadly, not all men can be like you, Mr. Fancypants. Most of us don’t have the guts to simply use a lover and leave her the moment we’re finished. Some of us give our hearts out too easily.”
Armor added, “Not to mention a relationship is about love, not status. I don’t love Cadence because she’s a princess; I love her because she’s a kind, caring mare.”
Fancypants drank down another shot of sake, placed some bits on the counter, and stood up from his barstool. He laughed, “If you love her so much, just why exactly did you allow yourself to wake up next to another mare?”
Armor gave him an angry glare. “That’s what the fuck I’m trying to figure out!”
Boss spoke softly, “Have a good night, Mr. Fancypants. I hope your dreams tonight are pleasant.”
Fancypants replied as he walked toward the door, “Thank you, Boss. I do hope your night is enjoyable.”
The four guards in their booth watched as Armor and Fancypants exchanged somewhat hostile words before Fancypants walked out of the bar. Swallowing down the last gulp of his cider, Rough stood up from his seat. He walked over and placed a hoof on Armor’s shoulder.
“I think we should get going. It’s late. Are you coming?” he asked.
Armor turned to see the other three headed for the door. “Nah, I think I’ll stay and chat with Boss for a little while.”
Rough looked back at the other guards. He shook his head, “Suit yourself, Captain. Don’t get too drunk tonight, okay?”
Armor nodded as the four of them left the bar. Once more, it was just himself and Boss, left to chat together. Another hour or so passed before Armor decided it was best to leave before it got too late. He placed a few bits on the counter, nodded goodbye to Boss, and headed out of the bar. He was headed for his comfy bed in his familiar room in the secure castle. He prayed that he wouldn’t have the same dream as the prior night…
"If there is evil in this world, it lurks in the hearts of man." -Edward D. Morrison
Shining Armor’s eyes jolted open as an ice-cold wind blew over him. He heard the terrified screams of a dozen ponies echo around him. He looked around, finding himself in the black void once again. This time, however, there were at least five other ponies around him, similar in shape and appearance to the pony from last night. Each pony had a single distinguishing characteristic, although they were subtle differences.
The ponies hesitantly wandered through the large purple door in the middle of the black void, their heads twisting and turning in different directions, trying to figure out where they were. One after another, they entered through the door and found themselves in a horrific and gruesome tower. All around them, cages lined the massive brick walls that reached upward around the tower of blocks in the center. In each cage was another pony, identical to themselves, solid black with no defining features whatsoever.
Armor looked around his surroundings, seeing all of the ponies screaming for help in their cages. There was more than just one tower of blocks in the center of this nightmarish room. Several of the ponies from within the black void were gathered on separate towers, climbing past different obstacles. Armor recognized one of the ponies on his tower. The pony had a blue mustache.
The pony with the blue mustache turned to look at Armor. He said, “I’m glad to see that you made it out of last night’s tower alive. However, tonight’s tower will not be quite as simple.” He pointed a hoof upwards. Whereas last night’s tower was a simple staircase, tonight’s resembled more of a wall with footholds every few blocks up.
Armor’s jaw dropped as he noticed the steep wall-like tower above them. “How are we supposed to climb this?!” he shouted.
The pony with the blue mustache was just about to say something when a mysterious voice echoed around them. “I would like to welcome you to the Prison of Despair. This is the second floor of the tower. Assuming you can climb these walls, you will be able to see the light of day again.” The voice was hollow, eerie, and seemingly came from nowhere.
Armor screamed, “Who the hell are you and where the hell are we?!”
The voice called back, “You needn’t concern yourselves with that. Who I am is no matter for your concern. I may tell you if you survive this floor, however.”
The pony with the blue mustache scoffed, “As if we can trust a voice with no body? Just tell us how we can find our way out of this place!”
“The only way to escape is to climb. Try pulling and pushing the blocks around to make a staircase. It may sound simple, but you might just be surprised.” The voice laughed as it finished saying this.
Armor looked at the block in front of him. Above him, a block was suspended in seemingly midair. Thinking about forming a set of stairs, Armor grabbed the block beside him and pulled it out, connecting edges with the block above him. He slipped from the platform, but his hooves held on to the corner of the block he had been standing on moments before.
The pony with the blue mustache shouted, “Are you insane, sir?! That’s suicide!” Armor slid his hooves to the side, latching on to the block beside him and pulling him from the hanging position. He was now standing back on solid ground.
“That was…scary. My hooves just latched on and wouldn’t let go…” Armor looked at his hooves, unsure of just why they had stopped his fall on their own.
The mysterious voice laughed, “Very good, pony. You did well to form a passage up. Perhaps if you continue using your brain like that, you can reach the top.”
Armor shouted upward, “What the fuck is going on here?! What’s the point of all this?”
The voice said bluntly, “It’s all fun and games. Just remember that if you have no block to stand on, you can climb along the edges of the blocks. Perhaps you two can work together and reach the top?”
The two ponies shared nods of agreement. Armor climbed up the steps he had just formed, the pony with the blue mustache (PWBM) following him. Reaching the top of the steps that had been formed, the two found themselves at another dead end. With a loud rumbling sound, a few rows of blocks fell from the bottom of the tower. A terrified shriek echoed in the void as a pony fell down into the nothingness.
PWBM noticed a pair of blocks suspended a few rows up above them. He moved to the end of the row and pulled a block from the wall. Sidling along the corners of the blocks, he pulled it closer to the opposite edge. Armor watched as PWBM stood on top of it and pulled another block from the wall. The uppermost block flashed blue as it connected to the pair above it. PWBM leaped from the newly-pulled block and landed beside the first one.
“If we use our brains and think about it, we can simply form stairs by crawling along the edges and abusing the physics of this strange place.” PWBM pulled the first block back one step, forming a staircase leading to the pair of blocks above them.
Armor hung off the side of the blocks, sidling past the first block on the stairs. He lifted himself back onto the platform and followed PWBM up the new staircase. “That was quick thinking, pal.” Armor sighed as they continued climbing up the wall of blocks.
Taking turns pushing and pulling blocks and planning routes to continue upward, the pair eventually made it to the very top of this tower. Up above them was a solid platform that wasn’t made of blocks. In the center of the final row of blocks was a large golden block with a rope hanging right above it. Armor stepped up onto the golden block.
“Go ahead and pull it. I assume it will take us to the landing above.” PWBM nodded, and Armor leaped up and pulled the rope down.
With a rumbling sound, a series of golden blocks fell one by one, connecting at their edges, building a staircase upward to the landing. Armor and PWBM cheered as they climbed the staircase. They found themselves stepping onto a landing filled with pews and a small building on the far side. Above the building, bells were ringing loudly. There were a few other ponies sitting on the landing, either on the ground or in a pew.
A pony with a black necklace sighed in exhaustion, “At least we get a break… What is this, some kind of chapel?”
A pony with a red tie wheezed, “I think so. Seems like this is just the way to another tower.” He pointed a hoof upward, noticing a bunch of block towers hanging in the air above them.
PWBM plopped down beside the two new stallions. “I suppose we’ll have to continue climbing until we reach the door?”
Armor sighed, taking a seat with the trio, “Looks to be that way. Why are we here…?”
The mysterious voice from before called to the ponies on the landing, “I’m glad to see you all made it this far. Whenever you wish to continue climbing, just step into the confessional and have a seat. I should warn you, though: The towers will only become harder from here on out.”
The pony with a red tie (PWRT) shouted at the voice, “What kind of sick game is this?! Why do we have to keep climbing?”
The pony with a black necklace (PWBN) sighed, “Because we want to live. You don’t have to climb if you don’t want to, but I’m not letting myself die here.”
The mysterious voice laughed, “My, aren’t you determined? You are forced to climb because someone from your world put you here. It’s as simple as that. Now, I would suggest you keep climbing, lest you let yourselves fall with the landing…” The voice faded away, its laugh still echoing.
Armor looked at the trio of ponies and chuckled, “We don’t have a choice, fellas. I’m going on ahead. Try not to get killed on your way up.”
PWBM slapped a hoof on Armor’s shoulder. “I wish you the best of luck. We’ll meet up on the next landing, be it tonight or tomorrow.”
“Assuming this will still go on tomorrow…” PWBN scoffed.
PWRT laughed, “Of course it will! Didn’t you hear the voice? It said somepony wanted us to be here! That means we’ll keep coming back!”
Armor laughed, “Then we’ll keep climbing! Promise me you guys will survive. We’re going to meet again, got it?” He turned on his hooves and headed for the small building at the back of the landing.
“Good luck, my friend!” PWBM called to him.
Armor approached the building with a sense of foreboding. He drew back the red curtain of the door on the right to reveal a small booth with a single-person bench and a small window. It looked just like a chapel confessional booth. There was a small portrait on the back wall of the booth. It depicted Armor hanging from a ♀ symbol.
The mysterious voice called, “Perhaps you ought to sit down now. I mean, we can’t start the interrogation without you being comfortable. Hahaha!”
Armor looked at the small bench and took a deep breath. He sat down and asked, “What is this place?”
The voice answered, “This is where stallions are sent to be judged for their wrongdoings. I thought you would have figured that out, what with all the ponies locked away in here.”
Armor remembered seeing the ponies trapped inside the cages at the start of the tower. “They’re being punished for doing wrong? So why the hell am I here? I’ve done nothing wrong!”
“That isn’t for you to decide, Shining Armor. You may be a guard captain, but you are not one to judge your crimes. Now, to the point. I’ve answered a question of yours, now you answer a question of mine.” Two ropes fell from the roof of the confessional, one on either side of Armor, and the voice laughed. “You must kiss one of the following: a cephalopod-like alien or a beautiful corpse. Which one do you choose? Your options are respective to the left and right ropes.”
Armor’s eyes widened at the question. “What kind of fucked up question is that?!”
“Just answer the question. The sooner you do, the sooner you can get back to climbing.” The voice sounded irritated.
Armor looked back and forth from rope to rope. “A squid…or a dead person…?” As much as he hated to make the decision, it didn’t take long to do so. His hoof grabbed the rope on the right and pulled.
“So, that’s your answer? Very well then. Allow me to take you to your next trial.” The booth began to rumble loudly before lifting itself from the ground. Armor watched as the landing below him grew smaller and smaller as the booth lifted ever higher. Finally it stopped moving, and he was pushed from the booth by an unseen force. He found himself standing at the bottom of another tower of blocks.
Night 2, Prison of Despair- Floor Two
The imprisoned ponies still surrounded the tower. There were several other ponies already climbing the other towers. Armor looked down, but saw nothing but a giant black void once again. He looked up the tower and found it was a simple enough puzzle. All he would need to do is remember to cling from the side of blocks to maneuver around them.
The first few steps were simple. Push a block here; pull another there. After a few steps, however, the walls got higher and the steps got fewer. There were two blocks suspended above him a few steps up. Looking around and examining the row he was left with, Armor tried to find a way to form a bridge. He remembered PWBM’s technique earlier: To pull out a block and stand on top of it, then pull out the block above it.
By doing this, Armor was easily able to push the blocks in a certain order that would build a staircase up to the two suspended blocks. He climbed up and found himself standing on a solid, flat row of blocks. There were a few easy steps up before Armor reached another wall. He stopped to think about the situation for a second. Unlike last time, there were no suspended blocks for him to build to. He tried to see if he could build a staircase from scratch.
After a minute of thinking without success, the mysterious voice called to him. “You aren’t stuck already, are you Armor? I’ll give you a little hint: If you can’t climb up a wall, try knocking it down. A block will only connect to the corner of a block beside it. If you remove the support blocks, the others will fall.”
“Why are you helping me?” Armor scoffed.
When the voice didn’t reply, Armor decided to try and use the new trick to get up the wall. He started pushing all the blocks from the two sides of the wall. After pushing the first three from the left, the three columns they had supported fell into place one after another. They built a simple staircase up the wall. All Armor needed to do was pull another block out and use it to get to the staircase.
Armor flinched as a loud ringing sound echoed out of nowhere. He looked all around, trying to pinpoint the source of the ringing. A voice called to him from below. “The ringing means you’re almost at the landing! Keep climbing!”
Armor looked down to find PWBN below him, climbing up the blocks Armor had just moved. Armor called back, “Are you sure about that?”
PWBN laughed, “Don’t you see the golden block?” He pointed a hoof up past Armor, the golden block shining brightly. There was another rope above it.
Armor looked down at PWBN and nodded. Without wasting any time, he continued his trek up the tower. He moved a few blocks here and there to make a step to climb on. Finally, after another dozen rows of blocks, Armor stepped up on the golden block, ready to be done with this tower of blocks. He leaped up and yanked the rope from the air. Another set of golden blocks fell down as a staircase up to the landing.
Armor climbed up with enthusiasm, PWBN close behind. The two sat down on the ground near the staircase and waited for the other two ponies from the previous landing. After a few more minutes, PWBM and PWRT showed up, exhausted and totally out of it.
Armor laughed, “Glad to see you guys alive!”
PWBN sighed, “I think the next tower is the last for tonight. You can see the faint glow of the door up there.” He pointed a hoof up, showing the other three the faint white light.
PWRT groaned, “This sucks. We actually have to climb another one to get out?”
PWBM scoffed, “Quit complaining about these hardships. Just think, tomorrow night you’ll be ready for another round! I imagine we’ll all be back tomorrow, correct?”
Armor shook his head in disappointment, “Yeah. More than likely, anyway.”
The mysterious voice called to them once more, “You really should hurry, everypony. The night is almost over, and you’re all still trapped in here.”
Armor laughed, “Not for long, you freak! We’re getting out of here tonight!”
The other three ponies looked at him with curiosity. Armor returned their gaze with a determined expression. He smiled and nodded, standing to his hooves and taking a few steps toward the confessional. The three waved their wishes of good luck and watched him enter the small booth.
He was greeted by the mysterious voice again, this time with an excited tone. “You lived! I’m truly surprised you did it! But we shouldn’t dilly-dally here. I’ll get straight to the question.” Two ropes fell to Armor’s sides. “Does your job always come first? Yes or no?”
Armor thought about it for a second before raising a hoof. He said, “Not always. There are times when loved ones and personal matters are more important than a job.” He pulled the rope on his right, representative of the ‘no’ option.
“So that’s what you think? Oh well… I hope you’re ready for the big one tonight. The next tower is the last one for tonight. If you don’t think fast enough, you might find yourself on the wrong end of a hoof. Hahaha!” The voice’s laugh echoed as the confessional booth lifted into the air…
Night 2, Prison of Despair- Final Floor
Once more, Armor watched as the landing below him shrank into nothingness, instead being replaced by a dark void. He listened to the screams of other ponies around him, all of them trapped in cages and falling from their towers. Armor was pushed from the booth and left standing on the first row of blocks of the final tower. He saw the white light of the door at the very top. He laughed as he looked the wall over.
This wall looked nearly identical to the previous one. None of the blocks looked hard to access or any harder to traverse. The only thing different that he noticed about this wall was that some blocks were black instead of white. He didn’t think that the color was too important, so he had an optimistic and cocky attitude about this last tower.
A horrific roar echoed from the void below him. “You’ll never escape, Armor! I won’t let you escape!” Armor looked into the blackness to see a pair of pink, golden-tipped hooves appear from nowhere. One hoof carried a large knife in it while the other was empty. There were locks of different-colored hair wrapped around the two arms.
Armor thought that the voice sounded familiar, but he wasn’t sure. It was distorted and hollow. Before having much time to think about what was going on, Armor found himself staring at the pair of hooves and the shining knife. He leaped back and up a single step as one hoof brought the knife cutting across the bottom row of blocks. The blocks went tumbling into the darkness as the creature roared in anger.
The mysterious voice laughed, “Tonight you’ll be facing the Fist of Grudge. It’s a killer, don’t die!”
Armor looked up behind him and started thinking about his path upwards. He leaped to his hooves and immediately started pulling out block after block, trying to make a staircase as he had the previous tower. He had to be wary of the pair of hooves flailing around wildly behind him. He narrowly moved out of the way as the empty hoof crashed into the block he was standing on, cracking it.
Luckily, Armor had finished making his staircase in no time, and darted across the cracked block and up the others as fast as he could. He watched as the knife cut across the few rows of blocks below him and knocked them into the void. His heart pounded as he realized he had narrowly escaped falling to his death. The empty hoof flailed in his direction, missing the tower completely.
The creature screamed, “I’m not letting you get away!”
Armor screamed back at it, “What the hell are you, anyway?!” He scrambled up another few blocks before coming to another wall. The entire row of blocks in front of him was black. He tried to pull one out, and found that it did move, if only very slowly. They were heavier than the white ones, and it took him longer to build his stairs up.
After he had pulled out the sufficient number of blocks to reach the next level of the tower, he darted upward. As he reached the top, he lost his footing and fell down a block. The empty hoof flew right at him. He hurriedly leaped up to the next step, and the hoof cracked the block he was standing on. He ran to the other side of the row, trying to catch his breath and think about how to proceed.
The creature grew quiet for a moment, and Armor heard a faint ringing sound. He looked up with hopeful eyes to see that the door was only two steps above him. He cheered and jumped for joy as he realized he was almost out of this mess. He tried to pull out the last few blocks he would need, but none of the blocks on this row would budge. He took a look at them and realized they were different. They were black, just like the heavy blocks, but they had the emblem of a sheep’s head engraved into them.
“You’re fucking kidding me! Why won’t they move?!” Armor pushed and pulled with all his might, but these blocks wouldn’t move at all.
The mysterious voice called to him, “Looks like you’re up shit creek without a paddle, eh? I would hate to cheat you out of surviving such an amazing encounter. I’m not supposed to do this, but here’s a present from me to you.”
A bottle appeared on the block beside Armor. He picked it up and read the label. It said ‘Energy Drink: Allows for two steps to be taken in one.’ Armor popped the top and gulped it down, a golden light engulfing him. His muscles started to burn and his nerves began jitter. He felt so pumped full of adrenaline that he jumped from the spot he stood and latched on to the block two steps above him.
Without wasting time, he darted over to the golden block and climbed on top, placing a hoof on the door. It slid open slightly, letting a little more light shine in. The creature threw its arms up to meet him at the highest level of the tower. It thrashed its arms wildly.
It screamed, “Don’t you run! I WON’T let you escape... You won’t...escape...!” The hoof with the knife went flying at Armor as fast as it could. Armor shoved the door open a little wider, and a beam of solid white light pierced through the two hooves and shredded them with its intensity.
The creature screamed in agony and anger as its arms were disintegrated by the pure light. Armor raised a hoof in the air and cheered as he watched the creature leave. “Woo-hoo! I did it! I survived another night!” He had a smug look on his face as he stepped into the white light of the doorway.
The light engulfed him as he passed through, the nightmare around him melting away into nothingness…
“For man, as for flower and beast and bird, the supreme triumph is to be most vividly, most perfectly alive.” –D.H. Lawrence
Boss stared at the ceiling as he felt a strange burning sensation in his chest. His shades glowed brightly as he sat up from his small bed. His thoughts raced back and forth, reviewing the events of the nightmares that had been given out the previous night. He felt an incredible urge to throw something. A voice on the other side of the room snapped him out of his thoughts.
“How many stallions died last night?” Catherine had a serious tone in her voice. She wasn’t her usual cheery self.
Boss sighed, taking a moment to reflect back on the night. “About five. All of them just Canterlot rabble.”
Catherine smiled, “Armor lived, right?”
Boss slammed a hoof on the floor. He shouted, “Only because Astaroth allowed him to!”
Catherine’s face twisted in confusion. “What do you mean he allowed Armor to live?”
“I set the tower up so that the only way to reach the door was to gather the bell and use it to transform the blocks to normal. Armor left the bell behind, and thusly couldn’t reach the door. Astaroth gave him an energy drink so that he wouldn’t die…” Boss explained, his shades glowing a deep orange.
Catherine laughed, returning to her normal demeanor, “So you got cheated by the man you work for? That’s really funny, Boss!” She clapped her hooves together in excitement.
Boss scoffed, “It’s not funny! It was because of his own lack of perception that he was placed in such a horrible position. Astaroth should not have saved him!”
Catherine stood up, walking toward Boss. “You know, Cadence will be back in town tomorrow. At least, that’s what Armor’s journal says. After tomorrow, things may get complicated.”
Boss adjusted his shades, a smile on his face. “Yes, and unlike last time, I shall be prepared for it. I will not be beaten this time.”
Catherine giggled, “You know, if things do turn out like last time…you may have to leave Equestria.”
Boss chuckled, “No need to worry about that. It won’t happen.”
Catherine waved a hoof and disappeared. Boss let out a deep breath and fell back on the bed. The burning in his chest wouldn’t go away. In the back of his mind, he was truly worried about how this would all play out. He feared that Armor may have potential to be a Man of Legend. Why else would Astaroth save him?
Day 3, Shining Armor’s Chambers- 7:25am
Armor let out a surprised shout as his eyes flew open. He quickly tossed himself upright, taking in the room around him. He looked at his hooves and other features, wondering just what exactly had put him on edge so suddenly. He felt as if he hadn’t slept a bit, as if he’d just been lying there in a sleepless stupor. His legs ached with tense muscles, as if he’d been straining himself the entire night.
A giggle caught his attention as his mind pieced together where he was. The blond-maned mare from the night before last sat up in the bed, her bare coat shining in the sunlight from the window. She spoke quietly, “Good morning, stud. Did you sleep well?” She let a smile stretch across her lips.
Armor’s eyes widened in horror as he realized what must have taken place. The worst part about all seeing Catherine in his bed again was that he didn’t even remember seeing her the previous night. He stuttered, “C-Catherine! Wh-what are you doing here?” He quickly scratched his mane with his hoof, trying to play it off as a type of short-term memory loss.
The pink mare giggled gently, “I think you know exactly why I’m here, silly…” Her voice trailed off and her eyes slowly moved down Armor’s figure until reaching a spot underneath the covers.
The stallion waved a hoof in front of her face, bringing her gaze back to his own. He stammered nervously, “B-but when did you get here? H-how’d you get in?” His face flushed red as she trained her gaze back to his nether regions.
She sighed, “You invited me in last night, you mule!” Her face twisted in anger as she apparently took offense to his forgetfulness. She scoffed, “If it was that unremarkable, maybe I should just stop altogether, humph!” She turned her head to the side and crossed her arms over her chest.
Armor looked at her with a regretful expression. As much as he couldn’t stand cheating on Cadence, he also didn’t want to hurt the new mare’s feelings. He pondered his next move for a few seconds before sighing, “I’m so sorry, Catherine… It’s just that I…must’ve been really drunk last night, that’s all.” He scratched his mane, remembering the time he spent in the Stray Stallion the night prior. He did feel a slight pounding in his head, so maybe he had drank too much.
Catherine turned her eyes so that she could barely see Armor out of the corner of the right one. She pouted her lips and muttered, “You didn’t remember the night before last, either.” She turned her head away again, lifting her muzzle in the air.
Armor thought back to what they’d said yesterday morning. He said, “I never once said anything about not remembering it! You’re just being self-conscious!” He hoped his memory didn’t serve him wrong.
Catherine turned to glare right at him. She shouted, “Do you think I’m stupid?! I could tell how flustered you were! You don’t have to lie to me, Armor…” She shoved him hard with a hoof, knocking him flat on his back.
Armor’s thoughts raced as he tried to figure what the fuck was going on. He didn’t remember seeing her last night. He didn’t remember either of their nights together. He knew he hadn’t drunk too much last night. He knew for a fact that he didn’t invite her to his chambers. Something was wrong, but he wasn’t sure what it was. On top of everything else, he couldn’t remember his dream to save his life!
He managed to sigh, “I’m sorry, really. I’ve been out of it lately, okay? Can you forgive me?” He smiled sheepishly as Catherine turned back to face him.
She tilted her head and smiled. She lunged on top of the laid-back stallion, her lips curled up in happiness. She giggled, “I guess I’ll forgive you this time. But you better not forget again, okay?” She placed a hoof right on the tip of Armor’s muzzle, preventing him from speaking. She lowered the other hoof under the covers.
Armor’s mind immediately registered what she was reaching for. He gently shoved the mare a few inches away, not quite in the mood for what she wanted. The pounding in his head prevented any kind of relaxed thoughts as he continued trying to piece together the events of the last few days.
Catherine sighed, “I thought you liked it when I-…?” She pulled her hoof back as the stallion pushed her away. He placed a hoof to her muzzle to silence her as he looked out the window at the sky.
Armor cheered, “Believe me, I definitely do, but I’ve gotta go!” He leaped over the mare and rolled from the bed, heading for the chest where he stashed his armor. He immediately started placing it on, expecting Catherine to leave as he prepared for ‘work.’ Instead, she walked up beside him place a hoof to his underside.
The armor he wore covered his chest and head, but his flank and hooves were completely exposed. He lurched back as the mare place a hoof beneath him. She giggled, “Aw, come on Armor! It’ll just be a quickie! <3” She winked, causing Armor to hesitate with his response.
Thoughts flooded his brain. He cast out the attempts at remembering his dreams or his nights with Catherine. Instead, he focused on what was going on at that moment.
Okay Armor, you’ve gotta decide right now. You don’t actually have to work today, so there’s no reason to rush out of here willy-nilly. I mean, she really wants to ‘help’ you out… But wait, this is so wrong! Cadence will be back tomorrow, and if she finds out… You’ve gotta break it off with Catherine, now! But…I don’t think it’d be right to break the poor girl’s heart, would it? She really wants to make you feel good, so why not let her just this once?
Armor’s thoughts flip-flopped back and forth from accepting Catherine’s advances to breaking ties with the mare on the spot. Much to his relief, a knock came to his chamber door just as the pink mare started another advance. Relief quickly vanished as he realized that the pony at the door could be anypony, and only a select few would keep his affair secret. He decided to risk it and called to the pony to enter the chamber.
Much to Armor’s delight, the pony that entered was none other than Rain, who beamed a smile at his captain. He laughed, “I thought you said we aren’t allowed to wear our armor off duty, Captain?”
Armor was confused that Rain completely dismissed Catherine’s presence. That is, until he looked to the spot Catherine should have been in. To his horror, the pink mare was nowhere in sight. Armor decided to chalk the mare’s appearance up to guilt, and cast her out of his thoughts. Trying to maintain a calm expression, he tossed his armor back into the chest and slammed it shut, taking a seat on it.
Armor chuckled, “I must have been sleep-walking… I don’t remember putting it on at all!” He scratched his mane as the soldier stepped further into the room.
Rain sighed, taking a seat on the chest, “You seem a bit off, Captain. Have you been getting any sleep?” He had a glazed look in his eyes as he stared at Armor.
The white stallion sighed, “Not much, if any. I wanna say I had a weird dream last night, but I can’t remember it…” He noticed a shiny object near Rain’s chest. He examined it further to find that it was a necklace.
The soldier noticed Armor’s attention and grasped the necklace with a hoof. He chuckled, “Do you like it? The marefriend bought it for me. It’s made of pure onyx!” He flashed the necklace to Armor, who immediately felt a sense of familiarity with the object.
Looking into Rain’s eyes, he noticed the glazed look. He asked, “You don’t look like you’ve slept well, either…”
The brown stallion’s black mane looked sleep-tussled and tangled up. He chuckled, “Yeah, I had a nice little nightmare last night. Something about being chased by a demon or some shit.” He waved a hoof as if he expected something to fly at his face. He let out a deep sigh and lowered his head.
Armor asked, “So what brings you to my neck of the castle, Rain?”
Rain suddenly remembered why he had shown up in the first place. He cheered, “We’re heading to the bar early today. Be there at five, okay? We’ve got some stuff to discuss with Boss.” Without saying another word, the stallion hopped to his hooves and darted from the room, remembering something important he had promised his marefriend.
Armor was left alone to ponder his thoughts. He sighed as he tried to figure out why the necklace was so familiar to him. The image of the necklace rested right on the tip of his mind, and he knew he recognized it from somewhere. He then thought back to his dream, and tried to figure out what it had been about. Rain said something about being chased by a demon, which felt familiar enough. At the same time, most nightmares are about demons, so there’s no telling just what exactly he meant by ‘being chased’. Armor was left with the feeling that he too had been running from something.
A stern but gentle voice drew him back out of his thoughts. “I’m glad to see you were lying about having to work today!” The pink mare’s blond mane was strewn about her face as she angrily stomped over to Armor. She scoffed, “And you didn’t even bother to introduce us! How rude!” She shoved the stallion hard off of the chest, causing his legs to flail wildly.
Armor was taken aback by Catherine’s sudden appearance. She had completely disappeared from the room just moments before, and now she was back, acting as if she’d always been there. The confused stallion shouted as he sat upright, “Where the hell’d you go?! I was gonna introduce you, but you just left!” He thrashed a hoof forward in anger, making Catherine giggle at his outburst.
“You silly, I had to use the restroom…” She pointed a hoof to the smaller doorway on the far side of the room. Armor’s own personal facilities… For some strange reason, he never considered the fact that she may have just went to the restroom to allow Rain and himself to talk…
Armor sighed, “Sorry I lied about working, but I really do have someplace to be.” He stood up on his hooves and headed for the door to the chamber.
Catherine giggled, “That’s okay, I have a Girl’s Day with some of my friends in town. I have to be going soon, too.” She winked as Armor opened the door and headed through, shutting it promptly behind him.
The confused stallion let out a deep sigh as he thought about everything that had happened to him. He wondered just how he would find his way out of this whole mess. He needed to break it off with Catherine, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. At the same time, he didn’t want to hurt Cadence, either. The conflict in his own mind was starting to fatigue him. He shook his head violently from side to side before deciding he would simply talk to Boss in the bar later that evening. Celestia knows none of the others would understand his situation…
Day 3, Stray Stallion- 5:35pm
“…so I tell her how much the champagne costs, and she starts flipping out on me!” Rough downed his glass of whisky as he recounted the tale of a love long lost.
The five soldiers were gathered at their usual table, Octavia standing off to the side listening to the stories. Although she thought about how it was way too early to be drinking, she was at least getting paid extra for putting up with the five crazy stallions. Boss stood behind the counter, chatting away with two particularly tired-looking stallions. The one at the far end of the counter was the same as the night before.
The one closer to the center of the counter was a new face in town. He was a short amber-coated stallion with a dark-gray mane. He wore a white business-esque collar around his neck with a red tie that hung down past his chest. It had a golden dollar sign imprinted on it. He down a bottle of beer as he and Fancypants exchanged financial secrets to one another. Boss listened to their own special brand of arguing.
After chatting with the soldiers for half an hour, Armor decided to go talk with the two businessponies at the counter. Besides, he needed to talk to Boss anyway, so why not be friendly while he was at it?
He took a seat between the two stallions, who sat at least five seats apart despite their conversation, and ordered a glass of rum and cola. Nodding his thanks and taking a sip, he turned to greet the new pony. “The name’s Shining Armor. I don’t think I’ve seen you in town before… Are you new here?” He extended a hoof to the obviously worn-out stallion on his right.
The stallion chuckled as he hoof-bumped the captain of the guard, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Armor. The name’s Filthy Rich, from Ponyville. Call me Rich…” He raised his empty bottle to Boss, wanting a new beer.
Fancypants sighed, “Last night was another sleepless one. How about yourself, Armor?” The comment brought their previous day’s conversation about the climbing and the familiarity of one another.
Armor nodded, “Same here. I think it may have been the same dream, too…”
Mr. Rich scoffed, “Small world after all, eh? I had a crazy dream last night! Some monster was chasing me up some stairs, and it took everything I had to keep running… I think I barely got away…”
Rain’s ears perked up as he listened to the three stallions carry on their conversation. Lightning laughed, “Didn’t you say something about a nightmare, Rain? Maybe you oughta join in the sentimental hoopla!” He waved a hoof dismissively to the older stallion, which evoked an angry glare and a threatening hoof to the arm.
The disturbed stallion thought for a moment before sliding from the booth and taking a seat between Armor and Mr. Rich. Lightning’s face twisted in confusion as he didn’t really mean to run Rain off.
Rain greeted the two non-guard stallions, “The name’s Rain. How’s it going?” He ordered a beer and nodded to the two stallions.
Fancypants nodded and cheered, “Fancypants, nice to meet you!”
Mr. Rich followed suit with, “Filthy Rich, at your service.”
The four stallions started sharing what few details about their dreams they could remember. They each felt a sense of familiarity with the other three, so much so that it was a bit disorienting. Armor and Rain had a reason to be familiar, what with being friends for years now. The other two stallions, especially Mr. Rich, had no reason to be so…remembered.
After about two hours of listening to the four discuss the dreams, Boss decided to change the subject. He cleared his throat and turned to Mr. Rich. He asked, “So what brings you to Canterlot from Ponyville, Mr. Rich?”
Mr. Rich took a swig of his beer and pointed a hoof at a poster hanging on the beam beside him. The poster had a picture of a group of uniformed Pegasi that anypony would recognize. Underneath the picture were the words ‘The Wonderbolts Super Show’ with a few times and dates scribbled underneath. It was a flyer for the upcoming Wonderbolts show, the most popular group of Pegasi in Equestria. They were performers that could move fast and do amazing stunts and tricks in the air.
Boss examined the flyer, completely unaware that it had been taped to the beam of his counter. He thought to himself how unusual it was that people would show up from such a faraway town like Ponyville to see a few Pegasi fly around. He couldn’t see the appeal, especially if the town the viewer came from already had a Pegasus in it.
His thoughts were broken when Mr. Rich continued, “My daughter, Diamond Tiara absolutely adores the Wonderbolts. Since I’m on vacation this week, I decided to go ahead and take her to one of their shows.” He sighed and took another swig of beer.
Rain looked at the troubled stallion with a curious expression. He asked, “So what’s wrong with you? You seem out of it for somepony that’s had a single bad dream.”
Mr. Rich shot Rain an angry glare as he chugged his beer. He bowed his head and sighed, “I’m just glad to be away from the Misses for a while. I mean, after what happened…” His voice trailed off as his mind was drawn back to an event that took place a day or two ago. When he realized the others were waiting on him to finish his story, he cleared his throat and turned his head away.
Fancypants scoffed, “One stallion’s business is his own, Rain. No need to pry too far into it. We all have luggage…” Armor thought back to what Fancypants said yesterday about relationships being about status and not connection.
The white stallion slapped a hoof to the counter and muttered, “Like you, Fancypants? What kind of luggage do you own?”
The elegant stallion lost his proper posture and twisted his face in anger. He took a swig of whisky and grumbled, “Right now I’m in the process of learning a certain fashion designer’s secrets to use in my own business. After that, my luggage is empty.”
Rain sensed the tension growing between the two stallions. Armor’s hoof hit the table as he shouted through clenched teeth, “What kind of mule are you? How can you just use somepony to get more of what you already have?!” Rain leaped from his stool as he felt anger swell in his captain.
The rest of the bar fell silent as Fancypants returned the anger with his own, “At least I have something to gain from my actions! From the way you talk, you do it for no other reason than because you can!” He of course meant using Catherine for pleasure while Cadence was away, a comment that made Armor get really angry.
Before any other words could be shared, Brawny leaped from his booth and caught Armor in what can only be described as a full-nelson. Rain quickly stopped Fancypants’s advances toward the stallion. Boss watched in silent amusement as two of the very few stallions who were good at his game nearly tried to beat each other up. Although they had no idea they were the same ponies from within the nightmares, it was still fun to watch such friends fight.
He could almost taste the irony as Filthy Rich intervened in the fight, acting as the voice of reason. He shouted, “This fight won’t get anything done! You both have your problems, fine! But don’t make those problems a burden on the rest of us!” With that, the two stallions seemed to calm down, realizing that they were acting like fools in front of all of the bar patrons.
Armor blushed as he realized he had snapped for almost no excusable reason. Fancypants sat back on his bar stool, taking a swig of his whisky and placing his head on the counter. He looked at the other five stallions by the bar and sighed, “This lack of sleep is driving me insane… Those damn nightmares…”
The five of them all settled down, taking a seat at the counter. The rest of the bar sprang back to life in an instant, realizing the fight had been avoided. Brawny, Rain, Armor, Mr. Rich, Fancypants, and Boss were all gathered at counter, enjoying their favorite beverages. Even Boss liked a bit of alcohol every once in a while to calm his nerves.
He cleared his throat and chuckled, “Ever hear the story of the Woman’s Wrath?”
Lightning laughed from within the booth, the name obviously sounding funny to him. Rough delivered a punch to the side with a hoof and silenced the laughter. Brawny sighed, “No. Why, is it some sort of play or something?”
Boss smiled, adjusting his shades. He laughed, “Not quite. It’s actually a curse. Where I come from there’s a legend that says men who cheat are cursed to climb an almost endless tower. Any men that can’t climb the tower are killed.” He clapped his hooves together before pouring himself another shot of whisky.
Armor thought about this for a second before scoffing, “Yeah, that makes perfect sense. And I bet there are monsters that can turn into other ponies, right?”
Boss continued, “Ah, but this is quite true. In fact, I’ve been cursed by this Woman’s Wrath before myself. It was back in my younger days, when I was quite the lecher.”
Mr. Rich laughed, “Oh yeah? And how are you alive?”
The bartending stallion sighed, “I reached the top and got my wish. Sadly, I lost my lover and my job, but at least I was free from the curse.”
The womanizing rich pony at the end of the counter couldn’t hold back his laugh. He choked out, “And I bet that’s how you got here, eh?”
“I believe him. I mean, if we’re all having nightmares about climbing stairs, can’t they be the towers in the legend?” Armor spoke up, planting hoof on the counter.
Rain nudged him in the side with force. He scoffed, “I’m having nightmares and I’m not cheating, you dolt!”
Fancypants clapped his hooves and chuckled, “I may use mares for personal gain, but I would never cheat on my target.” The other five ponies gave him disapproving glares.
Mr. Rich sighed, placing his head on the counter, “I can’t say the same. I’ve done my share of wrong…”
Brawny stood up from his stool and headed back towards the booth where Lightning and Rough sat. He said bluntly, “You guys are depressing me. Take a fucking happy pill, would ya?” He plopped down in the booth, trying to take his mind off of the sad stallions at the bar.
Rain scoffed, “I’m not a cheater. I’m just not…completely committed.” He held his necklace in his hoof, thinking about his marefriend.
Boss shook his head as he sighed, “The legend also says that men who refuse to commit are also cursed. That could explain your problems.” He pointed his hoof at Fancypants and Rain.
Fancypants’s ears perked up. He chuckled, “Yes, because some curse is going to kill me for doing what I’ve always done. Why wait until now to stop me?”
Rain laughed, “Yeah, I mean why would something kill me just because I don’t want to have kids?”
Armor hit the counter with his hoof and muttered, “I guess that’s a double-whammy for me, huh? I don’t want to get married and I’m cheating on Cadence. This is lovely…”
Mr. Rich placed a hoof on Armor’s shoulder and stood from his barstool. He laughed, “I’ve had enough of this depressing jargon for one day. I’m heading to the hotel… Take care, fellas. Don’t let the demons make you fall tonight!” He chuckled as he headed out of the bar.
Rain turned to say something to Armor, but found the guard captain already passed out. He looked at Boss and asked, “Uh…did you drug him or something? Hey Fancypants, check this out…?” He turned to the rich stallion on his other side, only to find that he was also unconscious.
Octavia stepped up behind them and giggled, “Well, they were talking about loss of sleep. I guess it only makes sense they’d be out.”
Brawny got up from his booth and headed over to Armor’s side. He sighed, “Guess I’ll carry the Captain to his chambers. It’s early, but I’m feeling pretty tired myself…” He lifted Armor over his back and headed for the exit.
Rain picked up Fancypants and decided to carry him to his house, wherever that may be. “Mind helping me find this guy’s place, first?” he called to Brawny.
Lightning and Rough walked up beside the burdened stallion. The latter of the two laughed, “We’ll keep you company, Rain. We’re feeling a bit out of it, too…” He yawned.
Lightning scoffed, “Speak for yourself, dude.”
They all headed off on their ways. Brawny was carrying Armor to his chambers before heading to bed himself. Rough, Lightning, and Rain set off to find Fancypants’s home within the large city. Although it was still rather early, a wave of sleepiness seemed to have crashed over the patrons of the Stray Stallion. By eight o’clock that evening, the bar had been cleared out aside from Boss.
A smile stretched across Boss’s face as he played through the last few hours’ events. He had successfully dodged a bullet by telling the stallions the story of Woman’s Wrath. Now that they were aware of his having been a victim at some point, they wouldn’t expect him to be the cause of it anymore…
“In every man's heart there is a devil, but we do not know the man as bad until the devil is roused.” --James Oliver Curwood
Armor leaped to his feet as the eerie cold settled over him again. The neighing of horses echoed around him, and loud metallic banging filled his ears. In the distance from where he stood was another large door, and it opened slightly to allow light to guide the stallions in the dark void. Stepping toward the door in sync with the unremarkable stallions, Armor considered just what might be thrown at him in tonight’s nightmare.
With a touch to the door, he was once more placed at the bottom of a tower of blocks. Taking in his environment, he noticed a lot of medieval torture devices scattered off in the background. There were crucifixes, wooden horses, guillotines, sarcophagi filled with spikes, and other grotesque and horrifying devices dotting the walls of the tower.
“Not this shit again! Guess I just gotta climb…” Armor climbed up a single level of blocks, feeling tired and worn out. Without any sleep for the past two days, the fatigue was beginning to take its toll.
The PWBM’s voice called to him, “If you don’t climb, you’re finished. We’ll be waiting for you up top.”
Armor looked all around but found not a single pony in sight. He shook his confusion off and chalked the voice up to stress. He quickly shoved a block a few steps to the side and climbed up it to the next two levels. On the far end of this new level, he noticed a white pillow similar to the one from the first night floating in midair. Darting across the row of blocks and touching the pillow, it disappeared in a flash of blue light.
Just as the pillow disappeared, a loud metallic bang echoed underneath Armor. Without a chance to react, spikes lunged out from within the block and impaled him in an excruciatingly painful manner. With a drowned-out groan, Armor’s muscles loosened and his heart stopped beating. Blood spewed from the holes and painted the blocks around him, and blood poured from his now-agape mouth. In a flash of red light, his body disappeared.
“I thought you were better than that, Armor. Perhaps I should tone it down for you?” The mysterious voice called to him.
Armor’s eyes darted open and he found himself standing back in the black void. This time, there was no door. In front of him, a light blue ball lifted into the air and took the shape of the pillow he had just touched. “Wh-what happened? Where am I?!” he called to the voice in the darkness.
“You died. The spike trap put a quick end to your crusade. But, since you retrieved one of my mystic pillows, I’ll gladly let you try again. You now have two pillows you can risk losing, if you want to. I should tell you that the spikes on the traps break off a second after being released. You could try triggering the trap and quickly walking away. I mean, you have one extra pillow to test with.” In a flash of red light, Armor found himself back at the bottom of the tower, everything exactly as it had been before he started climbing.
Regaining his bearings, he quickly followed the same actions he had before his death. This time, however, he quickly leaped on top of the trap and snatched the pillow before darting off of it. The spikes popped out and snapped off, falling into the void below. They were rendered harmless to him. He smiled and nodded his head. He now had two pillows and knew how to handle the traps.
Armor noticed similar-looking blocks as his eyes examined the tower above him. With a loud rumble, the falling rows of blocks returned him to the present situation. He pulled the spike trap to form a step up to the next level of blocks. With a smirk, he noticed an entire staircase of spike traps leading up a dozen levels higher. He clapped his hooves in respect of the clever creator of this hellish architecture before darting up the stairs as fast as his legs would carry him.
Upon reaching the top of the staircase of traps, Armor noticed that the entire row he found himself on—save for his current block—were all traps. He wondered for a moment how he could be expected to survive pulling any of the wall blocks to form a staircase when the spikes would just impale him immediately. He called out into the empty tower, “Hey Mr. Voice, mind giving me a hoof here?”
The voice promptly called back, “The coolest thing about those spike traps is that so long as you aren’t standing on them when they activate, you can go ahead and walk across them. Even if the spikes haven’t broken off, you can still use them as steps. Maybe that will work here?” With a laugh, the voice went away again.
Armor thought for just a second about his next course of action. Nodding to himself, Armor darted across the row of blocks until he reached the last trap, turned on a dime, and darted back across through the still-standing spikes. None of the spikes touched him as he ran through them, which led him to question this realm’s logic even more. Without thinking too hard about the subject, Armor quickly began pulling blocks from the wall to build a staircase up to the next few levels.
As he reached the top of this staircase, the bell began to ring. Looking up, Armor found himself less than five steps below the rope that would take him to the landing. Pulling a few more blocks out and using the technique taught to him the previous night about sliding along the edges, Armor formed a staircase that led him right up to the golden block. With a loud cheer, he leaped up and locked his hooves on the rope, causing another golden staircase to fall and lead to the landing.
Armor was greeted with cheers from a small group of stallions that sat casually on the landing by the staircase. PWBM greeted him with a sincere voice, “Good to see you haven’t lost your skill!”
PWBN cheered, “It’s great to see you alive again! I mean, it sucks that you’re here, but still.” He slapped Armor on the back with a happy hoof.
PWRT sighed, “How much more of this do we have to take? I don’t think I can survive another night of running from that…thing…”
“What thing?” Armor asked, uncertain of what PWRT meant.
PWBM shook his head and sighed, “That monster. It chased us last night. I’ve been talking to other ponies, and it seems the monster is different for everypony. The monster that chased me resembled my current courtesan, a fashion designer from Ponyville…” PWRT’s eyes darted open at the mention of the town.
“You’re dating a pony from Ponyville? But that’s where I’m from!” PWRT’s heart started racing. Suddenly, these strange ponies were beginning to learn about each other, and they were becoming less anonymous.
Armor placed a hoof on his muzzle and thought for a second. PWBN sighed, “I’m a Canterlot guard. The monster last night took the form of my marefriend…” Armor couldn’t help but feel he recognized both the necklace and the voice from somewhere.
PWRT laughed at PWBM, “I come from Ponyville, so I might actually know your monster. I own a small business there. My monster…was my own wife. And for good reason I suppose, after what I did…” His voice trailed off as he told them about his monster.
Armor scratched his mane and sighed, “I can’t help but feel like we know each other. These stories seem…familiar. Anyway, my monster was my marefriend…probably because I cheated on her with some new mare in town. Oh yeah, and I’m a Canterlot guard.” Armor chuckled as the other three shared silent nods of agreement.
PWBM laughed, “Based on the way you climb these towers, I would assume you are among the higher-ranked guardsmen. Could you, in fact, be a captain?” The other two stallions gave Armor a reassuring nod.
Just as Armor was about to say something, another stallion walked over to the group. He had a large hazel yoke strapped around his neck. He said in a thick country accent, “I ain’t wantin’ to disturb y’all, but I heard ya saying something ‘bout Ponyville. Ya see that’s where I’m from. I came to Canterlot for some show with my little sis, and now here I am.” The stallion took a seat beside PWBM.
PWRT clapped his hooves and laughed, “Well, small hell after all, huh? So, we’ve got two Ponyville ponies and a stallion dating a third, and two Canterlot guards. How’d a city pony end up dating a mare from Ponyville, if you don’t mind me asking, blue ‘stache?”
PWBM scoffed at the nickname. He then answered, “I think her name is Rarity, or some such nonsense. Not that it matters much. After all, it’s all a relationship of position. She designs clothes, I cash in on them, and then I’ll be done.” The other four stallions shot him disappointed glares.
PWHY tapped the ground with a hoof and asked, “Now how can ya bring yourself to do somethin’ so mean to a lady as nice as Rarity, Mr. ‘Stache?”
Something in Armor’s head clicked, and he exclaimed, “I know who we are now!” The sudden nature of his outburst made the other four, as well as the unmarked, stallions lurch to the side in fright.
PWBN gasped, “What the hell is wrong with you?! You scared the shit outta us!”
Armor clapped his hooves and laughed, “I get it now! It all makes sense! We’ve started having these dreams where we’re completely anonymous to the ponies around us, but we can’t remember the dreams when we wake up. To everypony else, there’s nothing special about the others. But we all have things that set us apart from the other ponies…” He leaped to his hooves and let out a loud laugh.
PWHY cocked his head to the side and asked, “Uh, you mind makin’ things a little clearer? That don’t seem like a big deal. We already knew that.” The others nodded in agreement.
Armor gave the four of them a smug grin and cheered, “If you want to hear more about my special epiphany, you’re going to have to live to the next floor. I’ll be waiting, Rain!” PWBN gasped as he heard the word escape Armor’s mouth.
The guard captain stomped off into the confessional and plopped down on the bench. The voice laughed, “You seem way too happy to be here, Armor. Maybe you should realize that you’re not going to reach the top floor and just let yourself die.”
Armor scoffed, “No fucking way, man. Ask me the question and let me climb. I’ve got stories to tell. But can I ask you something first?”
“Of course you can. You’ve been nice enough to answer my questions. I’ll answer one of yours, if you want.”
“Why are we all in here? Rain, me, all of us…why are we here?”
The voice cheered, “Because, Armor, somepony wants you to be here. Somepony thinks you deserve to die in this hell. Each night you survive, you make him a little bit madder. I’m surprised you’ve noticed the connection between these stallions and the ones back in your world. After all, it took Vincent the whole seven days to figure it out, and even then he was still in the dark. Of course, the other sheep understood exactly who he was by the time it ended…” It started to trail off at the end.
“What are you talking about? Who is Vincent? And what sheep?” The guard captain was completely in the dark on this topic.
The voice focused, “Oh, I’m sorry. I must have been ranting about the last man with potential to become legend. At any rate, that’s not important to you, Armor. Okay, here’s the question for tonight: Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from being too excited? Yes or no?” The usual two ropes fell beside Armor, and he looked back and forth. He’d established that the left hoof was always the more positive answer and right hoof was the negative one.
He reached up and yanked the ‘yes’ rope. He chuckled, “Once or twice. Cadence really doesn’t know how sexy she is…” His mind drifted off thinking about his lover before the voice snapped him back to his current situation.
“Yes, she is quite a looker, even when she’s in demon form. Yes, but you still haven’t seen her, have you? That comes later. I’ll be taking you to the next floor in a moment. I just have to wonder what Cadence will do when she learns you’ve been cheating on her.”
“She’ll kill me, hooves down. That’s why I have to break it off with Catherine tomorrow, before she finds out.” Armor slapped a hoof to the bench, apparently signaling the confessional to launch into the air.
Night 3, Torture Chamber- Floor Two
It did. It lifted him up high above the landing where the other stallions sat and waited for the time they would have to do the same. The mysterious force shoved him from the booth and fell back to the landing below to pick up the next possibly-unlucky stallion. This new portion of the tower was almost identical to the previous one, letting Armor know that he was still trapped in the hellish nightmare.
There were no monsters following him yet, so he knew this wasn’t the end of the nightmare. He laughed to himself as he climbed the first few steps up. Before he made it anywhere up the tower, he was confronted by rows upon rows of spike traps. He knew he would need to be both quick on his feet and clever to surpass this treacherous climb. He started his work moving blocks and activating the safer of the traps.
He came to a point about halfway up the tower that puzzled him completely. Hanging over the edge on the far end was a single block, which supported an entire column of blocks by itself. He knew that if he wanted to climb up he would need to maneuver the block to let him pull out others and form steps. The only problem was that if he moved the block in either direction, the entire column would fall.
Taking a chance, he pulled the block back one step and tried to use it as a means of pulling out other blocks. As he climbed up the block, the column it supported fell into the abyss, rendering him one column shy of having enough room to climb up.
Armor cursed himself, “Dammit! That was a dumbass mistake! What do I do now…?” He scratched his mane with an angry hoof.
The voice laughed at him, “You must be joking, right? That was a rookie mistake, Armor. Maybe I should leave you stuck like that…”
He called back, “Are you saying you can do something about this?”
“No, but you can. Take this, my lost little pony.” A small circular object fell onto the block beside Armor in a flash of purple light.
The stallion picked it up and looked it over in confusion. “What is it?” he asked.
“I’m not going to condemn a stallion to death for a stupid mistake. If you do something stupid and get stuck, push the button on that stopwatch and it’ll undo your last move. You can push it ten times at once. That means that the last ten blocks you moved and anything that happened during that time will be reset, even you.” With an echoing laugh, the voice faded away.
Armor pushed the button on the watch and lurched backwards a step. He was a bit disoriented by the rapid movement, but he found that the block he pulled and the fallen column had both returned to their original spots. He stopped to think about his next move. He decided to start from the other end of the row and build up from there.
His new starting point served well in helping form a staircase up. Before long, the bell began taking its toll. Within minutes, he was pulling the rope and climbing the golden stairs to the next landing. He found that he was alone on the landing, the only stallion to arrive so far. He took a seat on the pew closest to the stairs and waited for the others to arrive.
The voice decided to have a conversation with him. It cheered, “You made such quick work of that floor that I think you may be a god yourself.”
Armor scoffed, “No need for flattery, Mr. Voice. I’d be more than happy to answer a question and head on up to climb more, but I’ve got some friends on their way.” He waved a hoof dismissively.
“No flattery, Armor. Just the truth. I think you have potential, just like Vincent. In fact, that’s the only reason I helped you last night with the energy drink. You are accepting of this fate, despite knowing what awaits failure. I wish you the best while you climb. I think your friends are coming soon, so I’ll be waiting for you in the confessional.” The voice faded away as the sound of hooves on the marble landing approached the pews.
PWHY greeted the already-sitting stallion with a chuckle, “Ya sure didn’t waste no time gettin’ up here, did ya? You’re one fast fella, Mr. Mark.”
Armor looked at the stallion incredulously and asked, “What do you mean by ‘Mr. Mark’?”
The country stallion answered, “Well shucks, the ponies here ain’t got but one feature, so I figured I oughta call ‘em by what I see. You ain’t got nothin’ but a purple shield on your flank, so I figure I’ll call ya Cutie Mark.”
Armor laughed, “So my feature’s my cutie mark? That should be a dead giveaway who I am… Okay, Mr. Yoke, how is it you managed to get up here before anypony else on your first night?” He tapped the pew, signaling for PWHY to sit beside him.
PWHY chuckled, “I’m a work pony, Mr. Mark. I’m used to doin’ physical work, so this climbing ain’t nothing for me. I ain’t even broke a sweat yet.”
“Well aren’t you special, Mr. Yoke?” PWRT slapped a hoof on his back and laughed.
PWBN plopped down on the pew beside PWHY and asked, “So Mr. Mark, what was this epiphany you mentioned before?”
Armor laughed, “Let’s wait for Mr. ‘Stache to show up. That way I don’t have to repeat myself.”
“Don’t restrain yourself on my behalf, Mr. Mark. Go right ahead and tell the story.” PWBM walked up behind the group and leaped over the pew.
PWBN sighed, “I’m ready to hear this epiphany. Especially since you called me by my name earlier. What’s the deal with that?” He leaned back as far as he could in the pew and let out a tired groan.
Armor took a deep breath and thought about how to tell his story. “So, I knew when I first met you that you were familiar. You’re Rain Crasher, aren’t you?” PWBN nodded and Armor continued, “Yeah, the voice and necklace gave it away. When you told me about your marefriend giving you the necklace this morning, I knew you were Rain.” Armor turned toward PWBM and scoffed, “And you, you’re Fancypants. That scumbag stallion from the bar…”
PWBM scoffed, “Scumbag, eh? Excuse me, Mr. Mark, but we all have crimes. Mine just so happens to be using mares for personal gain. I’m sure we wouldn’t be here if we all didn’t have crimes.”
PWRT sighed, “Yeah, I think I get it now. If ‘Stache is Fancypants and Necklace is Rain, then you must be Armor…”
Armor nodded his head and chuckled, “That’s right, Mr. Rich. I’m Shining Armor, captain of the Royal Guard. But I don’t think I’ve met you yet, Mr. Yoke. Mind telling me your name?”
PWHY scoffed, “Name’s Big Macintosh, Mr. Armor. Pleasure to meet ya, I guess. Wish it was on better terms, though.”
Fancypants stamped a hoof on the back of the pew, “So, we’re all real ponies. What’s the point of this? It doesn’t change anything. No matter who we are out there, we’re nothing in here. We have to continue climbing to survive and see the daylight.”
Mr. Rich chuckled, “But is it really worth it? We’re just going to end up here again tomorrow night. Maybe if we just die, then we can be free..."
Rain slapped Mr. Rich hard in the face. He shouted, “Don’t you ever say that again, got it? There’s no way we can let ourselves die in here, not like this. We have to keep fighting whatever the hell is chasing us.”
Fancypants laughed, “Easier said than done, Mr. Rain. You see, my current concubine is a very angry demon in these dreams. If it hadn’t been for that bell last night, her sewing needle would have completely eviscerated me. Rarity is quite the expert at designing and putting together clothes, and as such her weapon of choice is the dressmaker’s ultimate tool…” He shuddered at the thought of being impaled by a large needle.
Armor sighed, “Yes well, Princess Cadence isn’t the nicest demon either. That giant knife…was scary.”
Mr. Rich began to speak, but his voice cracked horribly. His eyes quickly filled with tears. Taking a moment to compose himself, he spoke slowly, “My...My demon is my…d-daughter… Sh-she chased me up the tower shouting profanities at me and cursing my title as her father… Do you have any clue how s-sickening it is to be called a useless piece of shit by your own daughter? Even if she isn’t r-real, it still hits me deep in the heart…” He cradled his head in his hooves, trying to hold back the urge to burst into a fit of sobs.
Big Macintosh placed a hoof gently on Mr. Rich’s back and sighed, “That’s pretty tough, Mr. Rich. I can’t imagine Diamond Tiara actin’ in such a way. So I gotta ask ya, why d’you think your demon’s your daughter?”
“Because she’s right!” He screamed, unable to hold back the boiling shame. He continued, “I’m a useless piece of shit! I have a wonderful wife and a beautiful daughter, and I fucking betrayed them with some random stranger! That…that new pony in town seduced me, and I let myself fall for her! Now I can’t stop thinking about her when I should be worrying about the wife back home! Dammit, what kind of father am I?! What kind of example is this for Diamond?!”
Big Macintosh had to hold back his own tears. He had known Mr. Rich for years, but he’d never seen the stallion in such a fragile state. He sighed, “Mr. Rich, now that ain’t true. You’re a great dad to your daughter. And you’re a wonderful family man. Ya just had a moment of weakness, and everypony has one of them every now and then. Ya can’t beat yourself up so much over one mistake. Have ya tried talkin’ to your wife about it?”
Mr. Rich sobbed, “Of course not…I can’t bring myself to do it. I mean, it wasn’t just once, Big Mac. I slept with the damn mare again last night! While Diamond was asleep in the other room, for crying out loud! I…I don’t know why. I don’t remember what we did. All I know is that neither of them knows… But Diamond, she’s everything to me. Just the possibility that she would hate me makes me want to throw in the towel…”
Fancypants bopped the crying stallion hard on the back of the head and scoffed, “Get it together, Mr. Rich! What would Ms. Diamond think if she saw you breaking down like this?”
Armor sighed, “Look, Mr. Rich, your daughter will never hate you. You’re her father, she can’t hate you. But you have to break it off with the new mare and apologize to your wife. If you do that, maybe everything will go back to normal for you.”
Rain laughed, “You say it like it’s simple, Captain. You think he hasn’t thought about that before?”
Mr. Rich chuckled, “Of course I have. But I can’t do it. I want to love my wife and daughter and be there for them, but that mare is just so…irresistible that I can’t help myself around her…”
Big Macintosh’s eyes opened wide as something in his head clicked. He leaped to his hooves and gasped, “Mr. Rich, you said she was the new mare in Ponyville, right? But that can’t be right, ‘cause I was with her last night. If I was with her, then there ain’t no way you was.”
Mr. Rich looked at Big Macintosh as if he were dumb. “What the hell are you talking about? Of course I was with her! Do you think I imagined it?”
Big Mac stamped a hoof and scoffed, “There ain’t no way you was with Catherine! Me and her was in the barn tryin’ not to wake my sisters up!”
Armor butted in, “Did you just say ‘Catherine’? What’d she look like?”
Mr. Rich shoved a hoof in Armor’s face and shouted, “That’s not possible! We were in bed together last night! I remember because I was terrified Diamond would hear us!”
Armor butted in again, “Would you tell me what she-?”
Both Big Macintosh and Mr. Rich shouted at him, “Shut the fuck up!”
Rain gripped Big Macintosh’s shoulder with a hoof and pulled him closer. He groaned, “Nopony speaks to the Captain like that, Big Mac.”
Big Mac shook the guard off and scoffed, “This ain’t none of your concern, Mr. Rain. This is between me an’ Filthy Rich.”
Fancypants laughed, “All of you are acting like little fillies! Maybe you ought to settle down and take a little filly nap?”
Armor screamed, “I don’t like your tone, Fancypants! And quite frankly, I don’t like you! These guys have their problems, but they’re nowhere near as disgusting as you!”
Fancypants shoved a hoof in Armor’s face and snarled, “Why don’t you quit talking and do something about it?!”
The five of them were going at it. They were each, for some reason or another, at one another’s throats, threatening to burst into a fight in an instant. Threats, insults, and cold guilt trips were shared by each one of them. It wasn’t until the landing began to shake violently that they all were snapped back to the reality that they were still trapped in the nightmare.
The mysterious voice laughed hysterically, “You should all be proud of yourselves! Because of your petty squabbles, you’re all about to fall to your deaths along with the landing that you believe to be safe. There’s no way all five of you can enter the confessional, answer the question, and get to the tower before the landing falls.”
Big Mac, Mr. Rich, Fancypants, and Rain all glared directly at Armor. They all shut up immediately and thought about how horrible they had just behaved. With a loud grunt, Big Mac bucked Armor hard in the side, sending him flying into the booth on the far edge of the landing. The red curtain drew itself across the door and Armor squirmed to pry it back open.
The landing shook even worse and suddenly detached from the chapel. It fell slowly downward as the confessional remained stationary. Armor’s voice could be heard calling to the four stallions that were falling to their deaths.
The voice laughed,“Sorry Armor, but your friends are going to die now. Congratulations on falling into the disparaging pleasures of petty quarrels and allowing them to waste their time.”
“Let me out of this damn thing! I’m not going to let them die! Not like this!” Armor screamed, thrashing his hooves at the red curtain.
“Okay then. I guess this is tonight’s question. Are you really willing to commit suicide if it means you might be able to save those four stallions? Yes or no?” The voice became serious all of a sudden and let the two ropes fall.
Without a second’s hesitation, Armor pulled the ‘yes’ rope and said, “Of course I am! Those guys are the only ones who know what I’m going through! I’ll never make it out without their help! Let me out!”
“If you really want to try, go ahead. I won’t hold you back. Don’t think you’re getting out of fighting your demon, though.”
Night 2, Torture Chamber- Final Floor
The curtain pulled back and a force shoved Armor from the booth. He held himself tight together so as to fall faster and catch up with the landing below him. Suddenly, he found himself suspended in midair, the torture devices around the area growing more vivid and real. The landing rose up into view and stopped just a few yards below him. The other four stallions were unconscious on the landing, the shock of the fall causing them to pass out.
Suddenly, a loud roar echoed out from below the landing. A large hoof suddenly appeared between him and the landing, obstructing his view of the helpless ponies. A head took shape and connected to the hoof. There were five faces on the head, all with different structures and expressions. Angry, Happy, Sad, Guilty, and Pleased.
The Sad face cried out, “Why do you hate me so much, Armor? Did I do something to hurt you?”
Armor floated lazily in the air, unsure of what was going on. He mumbled to himself, “What the hell is that thing?”
The Angry face screamed, “You don’t remember me, Armor?! You are a horrible pony!”
Armor tried to lower himself closer to the head, but he was stuck in place. The landing below him didn’t move one bit. The four stallions on it began to float off of it and into the air. Armor asked, “Hey Mr. Voice, what’s going on here?”
The voice laughed, “I’ve never done this before. You are a special man, Armor. Are you prepared to try a new kind of puzzle? If you win, I’ll send all of you back to your world for the day. This is the Face of Conflict. It’s a killer, don’t die!”
In the blink of an eye, Armor found the head not three inches away from him. His four friends each flew into the open mouth of one particular head. Fancypants flew into the Angry mouth. Big Mac entered the Pleased mouth. Mr. Rich entered the Sad mouth. Rain entered the Happy mouth. The head moved closer to Armor with the opened Guilty mouth. It swallowed him whole.
Armor’s eyes opened in a dimly lit chamber resembling the Canterlot Castle throne room. Four paintings hung on the walls of the room, each depicting a different of the four stallions he had tried to save. At the front of the chamber was a large, jumbled up picture. Armor approached the picture and started messing with it. He quickly found out that it was a sliding puzzle with a single missing piece, like those you would find in a toy store. He began sliding the pieces this way and that, trying to figure out what the picture was meant to display.
He soon noticed a few pieces that gave it away. There was a piece reminiscent of his cutie mark: a shield with a large star in front of it and three small stars above it. Another piece resembled his face and mane. He was soon subconsciously piecing the puzzle together, wondering just what would happen when it was fully assembled.
Before long he had the puzzle put together. He happily slid the last piece into place to finish the picture of himself. Just as he did, everything around him melted away. In a flash of black light, Armor found himself at the bottom of a large tower of blocks. Below him, the Face of Conflict floated lazily below him. It barely moved, and the few times it did, it was following him up the tower.
The entire time he climbed the tower, never certain of what had happened to bring him back to the blocks, the faces never attacked. All they did was scream things at him in different emotions. He focused past the annoying whining and crying of the faces and pushed blocks to and fro. In less than ten minutes, he found himself at the door at the top of the tower.
With a tired hoof, Armor shoved the door open and let the nightmare around him dissolve into nothing. As he was engulfed in the bright white light he heard the mysterious voice laugh, “You did well, Armor. I’ll keep my end of the deal. No matter what Thomas wants, you and the other four will live to tell the tale tomorrow night.”
Before he was able to question the significance of the name ‘Thomas’, the nightmare evaporated under him, and he was lost in the black void once more…
“Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.” --Josephus Daniels
Armor’s eyes darted open as he felt the cold air of the hellish tower slowly warm. He leaped from his bed, not wanting to waste any time. He remembered everything. He remembered the fighting and the puzzles. He remembered the towers and the traps. He remembered the voices. He remembered the stallions.
He was happy to see that Catherine wasn’t in his room. Then again, there would be no possible way for her to have joined him last night. After all, he had passed out early and been carried to his chambers by Brawny. The fact that he had passed out so early may have contributed to the strange feeling in his gut.
Today would be the day that he not only broke off ties with Catherine, but told Cadence everything that happened. He was tired of this sick game that the voice was playing with him, and he would be ending it no matter the consequences. He walked over to a small table by the door and lifted a photo into the air with his magic. He examined the photo longingly before a knocking sound at his door snapped him back to reality.
Without waiting for a response, Rain burst through the door and tackled his captain. He cheered, “You did it, Captain! You saved us from that thing! I don’t know how, but you did!”
Armor shoved the soldier off of him before laughing, “I don’t get it either, but what’s done is done. Now, we have a lot to discuss at the Stray Stallion tonight. We all have a bunch of shit to tell Boss.” He stood back up on his hooves and clapped them together, wondering how Boss would handle all the fucked up stories.
The two shared confirming nods and headed off on their way to the barracks to discuss matters with Brawny and the others…
Day 4, Stray Stallion Back Room- 10:18am
“This isn’t possible!”
A large mug crashed into the wall with enough force to shatter it and its point of contact. Boss’s eyes shined a deep crimson color as his head throbbed in agonizing pain. The anger boiling inside his brain was threatening to strip him of his ages-long sanity. He paced back and forth with angry force, keeping himself steady and frightening in case somepony should show up to speak with him.
The pink mare joined him in the blink of an eye. She giggled, “Armor survived. So did my other two clients. I think you’re slacking, Boss.” The old stallion shot her a terrifyingly angry glare.
He groaned, “Astaroth is trying to be the death of me, I feel. He’s giving that Armor too much leeway. When there’s a chink in your opponent’s armor, you exploit it. But Astaroth is dead set on repairing the weakness rather than use it!” Another mug was sent flying at the same spot from before.
Catherine sighed, “It’s only day four. Cadence comes home today, and that’s when I make my move. I'm tired of playing this game with him. I know it's my job, but it just doesn't feel right.”
Boss screamed, “Are you daft, Miss Catherine? Don’t you see that if you stop seducing him, I have no reason to send him back? Unless he turns out to be like Vincent and continues to challenge me, even at the end.”
The pink pony cheered, “What if he still refuses to commit? You can still send him in to try and 'convince' him.”
The old pony sighed, “Perhaps you’re right, Miss Catherine. I will see how today’s events play out. I should tell you that they were all fighting last night on the final landing. None of them made it to the night’s boss, yet they still survived. This Armor is definitely something else…” He fell back onto his small bed, the anger inside him subsiding slightly.
Catherine giggled once more before disappearing. She knew exactly what he meant, and she knew that it burned him up inside. For some reason, she found it funny when Boss actually got angry or scared…
Day 4, Stray Stallion- 8:52pm
“Nice to see you are all still okay. After your sudden change of attitude last night, I feared you may have come down with something horrible.” Boss greeted the usual group of stallions as they entered the bar for the fourth night in a row.
Armor and the rest of the guards took seats in their usual booth and sent ambiguous greetings in Boss’s direction. Armor and Rain shared knowing, sly, and curious looks before nodding in silent agreement. The other guards were completely unaware of these signs as they ordered their beverages of choice from Octavia.
After about ten minutes of shooting the shit, the three ponies Armor had been waiting on entered the bar together. Fancypants and Mr. Rich took their usual barstools, whereas a large red stallion took a seat beside the latter of the two. The richest pony took it upon himself to order a round of the most expensive liquor available for everypony in the bar, to which nopony objected. Armor and Rain wasted no time in joining the other three at the counter with Boss.
“Listen guys…About last night…” Armor tried to think about how to start this conversation. He wasn’t certain any of them remembered the dream aside from Rain.
Fancypants cut him off by saying, “You needn’t say a thing, Mr. Armor. We all behaved like children and fell victim to our own emotions. We should have died last night in the tower, but you saved us. There is nothing left to say on the matter.” He placed a hoof on Armor’s shoulder as a sign of thanks.
Mr. Rich sighed, “You saved our flanks. End of story. We owe you our lives now, Armor.” He took a few gulps of the strong liquor in front of him before letting out another deep sigh.
Big Mac chuckled, “Eeyup. We owe ya a bunch, Mr. Armor. Sorry to say there ain’t much a farm pony like myself can give ya, but I want ya to know I’m here if ya need me.” He took a swig of his own beverage.
Armor cheered, “So we’re all good, then? No hard feelings? I mean, we said some harsh things last night…” He thought back to how he’d called Fancypants a scumbag and then proceeded to tell him why he was one.
The rich pony smiled and said, “No hard feelings, my boy. We’ve got bigger problems than personal vendettas at the moment.”
Armor sighed, “Mr. Rich and Big Mac, you both said something about a mare named Catherine last night. Do you remember that?”
The two shared guilty looks before Mr. Rich answered, “Yeah, we remember. She arrived in Ponyville a few days ago. Pink coat, blond mane, blue eyes. A trio of winking hearts as her cutie mark. Beautiful gal…” He shut up as he noticed Big Mac’s annoyance.
Big Mac chuckled, “Eeyup, she’s a real looker. Got curves in all the right places, if ya catch my drift.” He smiled as he thought about the beautiful mare.
Boss’s eyes opened wide as he realized what was going on. He knew she would seduce multiple men, but he had no idea that she would stay in the same form for all of them. When she worked on earth, she took the form of her target’s dream woman. For Vincent, it was a Caucasian blond with large breasts. For Steve, it had been a thin, round-assed African woman. But it seemed that here in Equestria, all of the stallions viewed Catherine with the same appearance.
The shit was about to hit the fan for Boss, and all he could do was stand right in front and breath the breeze. He had made a fatal miscalculation in his plans to judge Equestria, and it could cost him his position in this world. If any of the stallions made the connection between him and Catherine, things could get violent… He wasn’t prepared for that.
Armor laughed, “So, your Catherine is the same mare as mine. I thought so. The way she just suddenly disappears and reappears. The fact that we can’t remember what we supposedly do with her…or to her. I get it now. We can’t all have been with her on the same night, not in two different cities. That either means she isn’t real or she’s a monster. I honestly can’t say which one I believe more…” The two Ponyville ponies gave him a quizzical look, uncertain of the ‘not real’ possibility.
Boss prepared himself mentally for the proverbial shitstorm heading his way. Fancypants laughed, “Are you insane, Mr. Armor? There’s no possible way that she isn’t real, if all three of you have been with her.”
Rain butted in, “Didn’t you say Boss introduced you both the other night, anyway? That means she has to be real.”
From within the booth on the other side of the bar, Lightning laughed, “Great, not only are you cheating, but you’re cheating with an imaginary woman! How hilarious is that?”
Octavia delivered a firm hoof to his gut before giggling, “Forget about him, Armor. She’s a real pony, there’s no doubt about that. I brought her a drink just last night.”
Boss’s heart started to race. Catherine had arrived shortly after the bar cleared out the prior night, and Octavia had taken her order. He wasn’t sure why, but he was making terrible mistakes at this point in his game, and that would cost him dearly. What if one of the stallions challenges him like Vincent did?
Mr. Rich groaned, “You did? Dammit…”
Big Mac chuckled, “Are ya sayin’ you actually want her to be fake, Mr. Rich?”
The depressed stallion sighed, “It’d make my life easier… If she isn’t real, it’s not cheating, right? So I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about cheating on the Misses…”
Armor laughed, “If only that were the case, Mr. Rich! Then I’d have nothing to worry about when Cadence-!” A sudden realization crashed down over him like a tidal wave. He gasped, “Oh shit, Cadence got back today! I…I have to…” He slammed his bottle of liquor back down on the counter and tossed a few bits beside it before leaping from the stool and darting from the bar.
“Hmm…” Brawny hummed as he approached the counter. He chuckled, “So have any of you seen Catherine since last night? Because I think I’d like to meet this curvy lady of yours.” He placed a hoof on Mr. Rich and Big Mac’s shoulders as he said this.
Rough scoffed between puffs of his cigarette, “You’re a married man, Brawny. Or at least that’s what you complain about all the damn time.”
Lightning cheered, “You really shouldn’t joke about cheating, Brawny. Never know when your moment of weakness shows up. It’s like a ninja!” He waved his hooves around in a mock-martial arts style.
Octavia sighed, “You really shouldn’t joke about it. This is serious stuff these guys are going through.”
Brawny clapped his hooves and chuckled, “It was one joke, fellas. Calm the fuck down.” He took a sip from his bottle and sat on Armor’s unoccupied stool.
Boss coughed, “Yes well, I can safely assure you that Miss Catherine is indeed a real mare. And a beautiful one at that. However, I have no clue how it would be possible for her to be in both Ponyville and Canterlot at the same time to have relations with the two of you. I’m afraid she may be some sort of monster or demon, if that is the case.” He adjusted his shades and prayed that his dialogue would draw any and all suspicion away from him.
“Well that wasn’t very nice, Boss!” The seductive and innocent voice filled the air of the bar, and suddenly all the chatter subsided and gave way to amazed muttering.
Boss’s jaw dropped as he heard the voice. Everything he had planned was falling apart on him. Just when he was going to clear his name, the one pony that could ruin his escape clause showed up. He sighed, “G-good evening, Miss Catherine. What brings you here so early?”
Every eye in the bar locked on to the pink mare as she strutted her stuff to the counter and took a seat right between Rain and Fancypants. A slight pinch of awe clouded Rain’s thoughts for a moment before he remembered that three stallions—as far as they knew—had already been with her. He decided to keep away from lustful thoughts involving her.
Fancypants, on the other hoof, was not one to shy away from a beautiful mare, so long as he had something to gain by it. However, he did not, and so went about his business of drinking his alcohol. Mr. Rich and Big Mac looked back and forth from one another to the beautiful mare, wondering what they should say or do, or what she might say or do.
Lightning hopped up from the booth and leaned right between the mare and his friend. He chuckled, “Howdy there, Miss. The name’s Lightning, and you are?”
Catherine looked into the young stallion’s eyes and said bluntly, “Not interested.” She slapped his hoof away with one of her own before sliding Rain’s drink out from in front of him. Rain didn’t object to his drink being stolen as she—very oddly sexually—gulped down the alcohol.
Lightning scratched his mane and blushed as he was outright rejected by the beauty and slumped back in his booth. Brawny laughed, “Ask and ye shall receive, my child. The name’s Brawny, and it’s a pleasure to see what all the fuss is about.” He extended a hoof past Rain to the mare.
She giggled, “Oh, how nice. I bet you’re a strong one, eh?” She touched his hoof with one of her own and let out a light hiccup.
Fancypants couldn’t resist the urge any longer. He turned toward the mare and bowed, “My name is Fancypants, Miss Catherine, and it is an honor to meet such a gorgeous individual.”
She returned his bow with a giggle and a pat on the head. She sighed, “It’s a pleasure to meet all of you. So Boss, what’s all this about me being a demon?”
Boss stammered, “U-uh…it’s nothing! I was simply trying to comfort these poor stallions. They are at a loss for reasoning behind their current dilemmas, so I wanted to help fabricate some form of comfort.”
“Nice. So you make me a demon? Well, I guess I kind of am a demon, at least in bed. <3” Catherine injected as much of her seductress charm as she could into those last three words. Jaws dropped all throughout the bar, stallion or otherwise. Boss stood stock-still behind the counter, unsure of what Catherine was hoping to accomplish by complicating matters.
Where every other patron of the bar was taken by the mare’s charm, Lightning simply scoffed, “You sure aren’t afraid to admit it, huh? Do you just go around advertising that you’re easy?”
Rough sent a hoof right at the insulting stallion, but it fell short thanks to Octavia’s intervention. She giggled, “You’re really outspoken today, aren’t you Lightning? You must be a little drunk.” She winked at him, trying to send the message that he should shut up.
Catherine smiled as she said, “There’s nothing wrong with wanting a little pleasure is there? Besides, my clients don’t seem to mind, right Filthy?” Mr. Rich’s eyes opened wide as she called him by name. “You could also ask Macintosh.” Big Mac followed suit.
Boss groaned, “Miss Catherine please stop this. I have no desire to witness a brawl tonight. If you keep up your mannerisms, I will have to ask you to leave.”
Catherine pouted, “Aw, but it’s just a little harmless fun! Okay…”
…
Day 4, Princess Cadence’s Chambers- 9:17pm
“It’s so great to see you again, darling! I’ve missed you so much the last couple of days!” Armor embraced his loving mare tightly as they said their greetings for the first time in three days.
Cadence returned the embrace with one of her own and sighed, “Oh Armor, I’ve missed you too. It was rather lonely without you by my side the last few nights…”
Armor released his lover and began helping her unpack her luggage and store it away. Taking care to avoid her more personal belongings, he quickly had everything packed away and placed back where it belonged.
After they had completely packed away everything in the bags, the caring stallion took it upon himself to start the inevitable conflict that would soon follow. He sat down on her bed and sighed, “Cadence…we’ve been together for four years. I…I love you, Cadence, more than anypony can imagine. But…I’ve done something that I regret terribly, and you deserve to know the truth. You see, while you were gone, I sort of…” Although he started strong, his voice began to trail off towards the end.
Cadence placed a hoof on Armor’s shoulder and touched her horn to his. She sighed, “Cheated on me?”
Armor’s eyes opened wide as these words left her lips. He stuttered, “Y-yes, well, kind of, but I… Look, I can explain!”
Cadence placed a hoof to his muzzle, “You don’t have to. She already explained everything to me. It was a fling, a drunken accident. Everypony makes mistakes, Armor. The fact that you were going to be honest with me tells me how much you love me.”
Okay wait, what the hell? She already told Cadence? But is that even possible? They don’t know each other. There’s no way they could have met without me knowing. What’s going on here? And wait, did Cadence just forgive me? But does that mean I’m off the hook? I haven’t even broken up with Catherine yet. In fact, how the hell did Catherine know about Cadence? And why would she cover for me? What the fuck?
“You’re…not mad at me?” was the only thing Armor could choke out in his confusion.
Cadence giggled, “Of course not. We all make mistakes. You’re not the only stallion that cheats on his lover… But you were going to be honest with me, so I can’t be mad at you.”
“Wh-what if I told you that I haven’t actually…broken up with her yet? I mean, I was going to when I saw her, but she hasn’t been around today…” Armor hoped that the situation wouldn’t change, but he couldn’t be sure of anything anymore.
Cadence smiled, “Don’t worry, Armor. She told me she has no intentions of seeing you again. She also told me that she was the one who seduced you. You’re in the clear, darling.”
Armor couldn’t believe how easily he was getting off the hook. He asked, “Are you sure about this? I mean, I cheated on you, Cadence! I violated the sanctity of our relationship. And you seriously aren’t mad?”
Cadence planted a hoof firmly on Armor’s shoulder and shoved him back on the bed. She giggled, “Armor, if you’re really that worried about it, why don’t I show you how mad I really am?” She used her magic to remove her royal garments and tossed them to a random spot on the floor.
What the fuck is going on? Why the hell isn’t she mad? I mean, I don’t want her to be mad, but shouldn’t she be mad? Wait…the only reason she shouldn’t be mad about me cheating…is if she cheated on me! But no, Cadence wouldn’t cheat, would she? I guess I didn’t think I would cheat, and look where I am now… If she cheated on me, would that make me the better person because I tried to be honest and she’s just keeping quiet? No, I can’t think like that! Cadence is the nicest mare I’ve ever met, she would never betray me!
Or would she?
“It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, which lures him to evil ways.” –Buddha
“Every night it’s the same old thing. I’ll play your game, Mr. Voice, but you better be ready to explain something when I get to the damn confessional!” Armor stomped boldly towards the large purple door within the dark expanse.
He noticed the crowd of ponies entering the door was beginning to thin out. The last few nights there had been dozens of stallions entering the door and facing their demons, but tonight there were only a few. And each night, none of the stallions were the ones he actually cared to see. He was tossed into a group of unremarkable ponies and sent to his hell.
The tower he found himself in seemed simple enough. It reached up really high into the prison that was the tower. Off in the distance, symbols could be seen glowing along the walls. On the eastern wall were silver male symbols, and on the western wall were crimson female symbols. Far off in the background along the northern wall was a large statue of a mare cradling a book in one arm and holding a torch firmly in her other hand.
Another thing Armor noticed was an overabundance of unremarkable stallions just standing around doing nothing on the blocks. He thought they may have been in shock, but as he tried to climb up the steps, they refused to allow him to pass. In fact, one of them tried to stab him with a pitchfork. Without any means of making it up the tower, Armor resorted to the only thing he could think of.
“Hey Mr. Voice, do you mind giving me a hoof? I can’t seem to get past these pricks.” He called out into the void, hoping the voice would send him some help.
The voice laughed, “Of course I’ll help. Do you see that book over there?” A large red book manifested itself on the rightmost block of the lowest level.
Armor walked over to it and touched it, causing it to turn into a small cube. He sighed, “Yeah, so what does it do?”
The voice continued, “You know, not all stallions are trying to reach the top, right? Some of them have gone completely insane. All they want to do is see how many other stallions they can kill before they fall to their deaths.”
The annoyed guard captain scoffed, “Yeah, and look what happens to them. What the hell does this book do?”
“That is a Bible. If you activate it, it will kill every other stallion in a six-block radius of you. This includes your friends, so do be careful. To activate the book, simply throw in into the air and close your eyes.” The voice faded away with a laugh.
“Close my eyes…?” Armor thought about that for a second. Why would he need to close his eyes? At any rate, he did what the voice told him to.
He cupped the book in the crook of his hoof, closed his eyes tightly, and launched the thing high into the air. In a loud burst of sound, bolts of lightning crashed down onto all of the stallions around Armor, causing them to disintegrate on contact. All that remained of the unremarkable killers were a few scorch marks around where they stood.
Not stopping to imagine the horror of being vaporized by electricity, Armor quickly climbed up the stairs that the stallions previously blocked. After disposing of them, the path to the top was a simple climb. In fact, it seemed that he only needed to move a few blocks here or there in order to complete his climb.
He encountered a few other stallions along his climb, but they didn’t try to attack. They just sat and waited for some unsuspecting pony to try and cross their blocks. He also had to pull out a few blocks and push them over a small gap between the two sides of the tower in order to pass over and reach the golden block, but it was nothing too serious or involved.
Armor leaped up from the golden block and pulled the rope with all his might. He wasted no time in climbing the golden stairs to the landing above him. He was both hoping to see his friends alive and wishing they weren’t trapped in the nightmares again. Fortunately—or unfortunately, based on your viewpoint—the four of them were perfectly fine, and greeted him with cheers.
Fancypants cheered, “It is marvelous to see you fine and well, Mr. Armor! I take it tonight’s climb was nothing for you?” They were all gathered in a small group at the front of the landing, overlooking the massive expanse below them.
Big Mac chuckled, “Eeyup, only problems I had were them crazy kooks tryin’ to stab me with them pitchforks. How ‘bout y’all?”
Armor sighed, “Nothing too serious, just a few ponies that were fucked up in the head. A little lightning took care of them though…the crazy bastards.” He plopped down on the ground facing away from the edge of the landing.
Rain scoffed, “Of course, the Bible. I wonder why this place is so forgiving tonight. I mean, if it weren’t for the Bible, I wouldn’t have been able to climb at all…”
Mr. Rich laughed, “Maybe the voice is getting tired of playing these games with us?”
Armor shook his head and said bluntly, “Don’t count on that. We still have to climb, I just don’t know for how much longer.”
Rain pointed a hoof upwards and asked, “Is that the door up there?”
Every eye shot directly in the direction Rain was pointing. Sure enough, at the very top of the next tower, a bright white light was shining. The door was only one tower away, a fact that sent everypony’s heart fluttering with hope that they’d be back in their beds soon enough. Armor leaped to his hooves and was about to say his goodbyes when he noticed three stallions sitting in a group separate from them.
The only reason this trio caught his eyes is because each member had a defining feature, rather than just being a blank slate like most of the others. He called to the trio, “Hey you three, you look a little down. Want to come over here and join us?”
The other four stallions sent Armor confused looks, not certain if allowing more ponies to join the group would be a good thing. Their thoughts were broken when a cloud of smoke entered their lungs suddenly. The first of the other three stallions to approach was smoking a cigarette. He had a pack of smokes attached to some invisible pocket on his chest, with a lighter tucked into the pack.
The cigarette-smoking pony coughed, “You all realize that making friends in this place is pointless, right? You’re only postponing the inevitable.” He plopped down beside Rain and thumped the ashes from the end of his current cancer stick.
Fancypants scoffed, “I’m afraid you are mistaken, my friend. This place has an end, of that we are certain. Boss even told us the story of how he reached the top when he was younger!”
“Boss? So you guys are Stray Stallion crowd after all.” The second of the three foreign ponies approached. A shining silver band was placed around his right hoof. Each time he took a step, it would flash brightly.
Mr. Rich laughed, “Are you saying you three are as well?”
The cigarette-smoking pony laughed, “Yep. Well, at least me and this lug. The other guy isn’t even from Canterlot.”
Big Mac turned toward the last pony who had yet to join the group. He chuckled, “Let me guess, you’re from Ponyville, ain’t ya?”
The last stallion’s eyes opened wide. He stood to walk over to the group before answering, “I am. I take it you are?”
“Introductions are in order, everypony!” Armor clapped his hooves as he cheered.
The ring-wearing pony started, “I guess names can’t hurt in this place. I’m Brawny Soldier, a Canterlot guardsman.”
Rain shouted, “Brawny?! Why the hell are you here?!” He slapped a hoof on the stallion’s back in disbelief.
Armor did the same as he said, “If men who cheat are cursed, then I can’t believe you cheated on your wife…”
Brawny broke away from the two stallions he didn’t recognize and scoffed, “I didn’t cheat on anypony! And how the hell do you know who I am?”
“It’s us, Brawny. Rain and the Captain!” Rain pointed from himself to Armor as he called them respectively.
The cigarette-smoking pony laughed, “It’s a small world after all, eh boys? It’s me, Rough Charger.”
The four guards all shared confused and excited looks. They hated the fact that they each were trapped in this nightmare, but they loved the fact that even in this hellish place they were still together to help each other. Every other pony introduced themselves to the group, even the ones who had already done so. Finally, it came down to the last unfamiliar stallion to introduce himself.
The pony laughed, “Everypony calls me Doctor Whooves. I guess that’s my name.”
Big Mac chuckled, “You gotta be kiddin’ me, Doctor! How’d a pony like you end up in a place like this?”
Doctor sighed, “I could ask you the same question, Big Mac. And what about you, Mr. Rich?”
Mr. Rich scoffed, “It’s a long story, and I don’t feel like telling it again.”
Armor clapped his hooves and cheered, “Great, so now the gang’s all here! We got the Royal Guard, two businessponies, and two small town stallions! I think we’re ready to get this night over with!”
Rough coughed between puffs of his new cigarette, “Just one thing is bugging me, though. Captain, you’re here because you cheated on Cadence. Fancypants is here because he uses his lovers. Mr. Rich is here because he cheated on his wife with Catherine. But why are Big Mac, Doctor, Brawny, Rain, and myself all here?”
The five seemingly innocent stallions thought about this for a minute. Brawny hit himself in the chest in a show of confidence as he said, “I know for a fact I didn’t cheat on the Misses. I love her more than anything else in the world. Besides, I live with her, there’s no way I could have an affair and her not find out.”
Rain sighed, “I know I didn’t cheat. There’s no way I could cheat, I’m always around her when I’m not with you guys in the barracks or bar. I don’t have time to cheat, not that I would even if I did.”
Big Mac placed a hoof to his muzzle and pondered the question for a few moments more. He finally said, “I ain’t got a clue. I slept with Catherine once or twice, but I don’t think that’s cheatin’, is it? I ain’t got a marefriend in Ponyville, so I can’t be cheatin’.”
Doctor thought about it and nodded his head. He said, “My situation’s the same as Big Mac’s. Although my partner wasn’t Catherine, the fact remains that I haven’t cheated on anypony.”
Rough coughed, “I mean hell, I’m the one trying to get the marefriend to marry me! Why the fuck would I cheat when I’m trying to tie the knot?”
Rain chuckled, “You’re trying to tie the knot, Rough? I never pictured you as the romantic type.”
The annoyed smoker groaned, “I don’t tell people my business. If word gets out about this, it’ll be the end of you, Rain.”
Fancypants chuckled, “You are all too focused on the aspect of cheating. If you remember what Boss told us the other night, you would find it very clear why you are here.”
Armor scoffed, “Okay wise guy, shoot.”
The rich pony laughed, “When he told us about the Woman’s Wrath, he mentioned it wasn’t only cheaters that end up here. Men who cheat, men who refuse to commit, and men who refuse to settle down and start a family are all cursed. In my case, I refuse to commit, and instead use my lovers until I’ve had enough. In your case, you cheated on Cadence with Catherine. In Big Mac’s case, he has no intention of settling down and starting a family with Catherine, causing him to be cursed. The same holds true for Doctor.”
The seven stallions stared at Fancypants as if he were a genius beyond comparison. He used a few cryptic messages to decipher the majority of their problems. Brawny spoke up, “But explain my situation, o powerful rich one. Why the hell am I here if I’m settled down and committed without cheating?”
Rough chimed in, “And what about me? Am I being cursed because she doesn’t want to settle down? That seems a little backwards to me…” He crushed the cherry of his cigarette and tossed the butt away, immediately lighting another one.
Fancypants thought for a moment before sighing, “I do not know, my friends. Yours are special cases, it seems.”
Armor clapped his hooves together and cheered, “Tell you what, everypony! When we see each other in the bar tomorrow night, we can talk all about this with Boss! Maybe he can help figure out why you two are in here.” He hopped up to his hooves and started trotting toward the confessional.
Brawny laughed, “Don’t get your ass handed to you by whatever’s waiting up there, man.”
Each stallion said their farewells to Armor and wished him luck. Without hesitation, the guard captain tossed back the curtains of the booth and plopped down on the bench with a thud.
The voice greeted him, “You made it! I see that the Bible really saved your coat, eh? Nothing like a nice plate of fried stallion, right?”
Armor chuckled, “Cut the crap, Mr. Voice. You feel like answering a question or two for me?” Armor knew that this was the voice’s game. He was in no position to demand answers, especially not after how much help the voice had given him.
“Ask your questions, and I might answer the ones I like the most.” it called.
Armor nodded and asked, “Just how long do we have to keep climbing?”
The voice laughed, “There are seven floors to this tower. The Underground Cemetery is where you started. Then it was the Prison of Despair. Last night was the Torture Chamber. Tonight you are in the Inquisition. Tomorrow comes the Quadrangle, followed by the Clock Tower. The final floor is the Cathedral, where the most determined stallions get their true freedom realized.”
“Seven floors. That means we’re over half way done, right?”
“You can do math! I’m so proud of you, Armor. Do you have any other questions, or should I ask mine instead?”
Armor thought for a second before sighing, “I may be stepping out of line with this, but can you tell me exactly why we’re all here? Can you tell me what we all did to end up in this hell?”
The voice hesitated before it spoke, “I can indeed tell you why. However, you have not earned that quite yet. I will tell what you wish to know later on down the road. For tonight, I believe it is time for you to face your demon and see sunlight again.”
“I won’t argue. Ask your question and let’s be on with it.” Armor clapped his hooves and readied himself for the ropes to fall.
With a laugh, the voice asked, “Bear with me here: Are you more of a sadist or a masochist?”
The two ropes fell beside Armor in respect to the order the voice said them. “A sadist or a masochist? I wouldn’t say I’m either… But if I had to choose, I’d probably be more of a sadist…” He pulled the rope on his left.
“Hmm? I guess I can kind of see that in you. At any rate, it’s time to face tonight’s demon. This is the final floor for tonight, Armor. I’m amazed by your skills in climbing this tower. Perhaps Thomas is going easy on all of you. More of you should be dead by now…”
Armor’s eyes darted open as he remembered a question he forgot to ask. He quickly said, “Wait, that’s something I meant to ask you! You mentioned a guy named Vincent last night, and just now you mentioned a guy named Thomas. Who are those people? Why are you comparing me to this Vincent guy, and why did you say Thomas is going easy on us?”
The voice groaned, “I was hoping you wouldn’t ask me that. It is a very confusing endeavor, explaining the stories of other men of legend to the one with the current potential. If you reach the door tonight, I’ll be sure to explain what I can to you, okay?”
Armor clapped his hooves and cheered, “It’s a deal! Now get me outta here…”
The booth launched into the air once again, taking Armor up to face tonight’s demon. The only thing he could think about during the short trip is just who Thomas and Vincent were. He wanted to know why so many comparisons were being made, and who the ‘man of legend’ was that the voice kept mentioning.
Night 4, Inquisition- Final Floor
Armor stepped willingly from the booth, the invisible force not having time to shove him out. He was dead set on reaching the top and getting his answers. One thought that he’d tried to repress during the whole ordeal was why he was still in this nightmare. Catherine had broken everything off with him, and Cadence had forgiven him. Why was he still forced to climb?
A loud moan echoed from the void below. Armor turned to look into the void to see a large…thing…manifest itself and speed its way up to his point on the tower. The thing most closely resembled a pair of hind hooves and a plot, with a tongue and eyes. The eyes were reminiscent of Catherine’s. The creature made moaning sounds synonymous to a pleasurable experience in bed, accompanied by angry shouts of displeasure.
Armor wasted no time in climbing. He didn’t care what the monster was, why it was there, or what it would do. All he wanted was to reach the door and get his answers and be free for the day. The voice called to him as he climbed the tower, “This is the manifestation of the lust within your heart, Armor. I call her the Immoral Beast. She’s a killer, don’t die!” It faded away with a laugh.
The stallion decidedly ignored the voice’s taunting laugh and continued his climb. He dodged random attacks by the creature, and ignored the moaning and screaming it bellowed out periodically. He was happy to find that the tower was very simple to climb, using basic techniques to create simple steps up. He had relatively no problems at all until he reached the point where the bell began to ring. Only four steps up, the door waited for him on its golden block.
At the far end of the row of blocks was a large golden needle with a wooden sign hanging around it. He walked over to it and placed a hoof on the sign. The needle snapped in half and faded away. Armor called, “What’s the deal with this thing, Mr. Voice?”
The voice called back, “You’re the first stallion tonight to touch it. That’s a checkpoint. If you die now, you’ll start right back where you are if you use a Mystic Pillow. But be careful, if you undo a move to a point before touching it, it becomes null and void, and you’ll have to redo the whole tower.”
“Sounds useful, I guess. But how the hell do I get up there?” Armor looked around to find all of the blocks around him to be the immovable blocks. He was in the same situation as he had been two nights ago, facing the Fist of Grudge. The only difference was that he had four steps left instead of two.
The creature’s large tongue came crashing down beside Armor, snapping him from his thoughts. The beast screamed, “Please…give me more, Armor!” It thrashed its tongue up and down the column of blocks, cracking and destroying a grand majority of them.
“What the hell are you doing?!” Armor darted to the opposite side of the row of blocks, hoping some escape route would open up from the damage the beast was doing.
To his amazement, the beast managed to create a staircase for him from where he was right up to the golden block. In its rage, it had systematically smashed enough blocks on the three columns beside it to form a set of steps he could climb. He didn’t stop to thank the beast as he leaped up the steps and placed a hoof firmly on the door.
The bright white light shot through the door and began its terrible disintegration of the Immoral Beast. It screamed in a mix of pleasure and pain, “Wah! I…want…more…!” Before long, it was completely gone.
Armor let out a relieved sigh. He said, “Okay Mr. Voice, it’s time for the answers.”
The voice called back to him, “You truly are something else, Armor. I’m proud to say I had faith in you the entire time. Before I give you your answers, I should warn you of something. When you pass through that door, you’re in for a rude awakening. In fact, you may find yourself at a loss of will to carry on. But from a God to a mortal, you have to keep fighting. Now, what answers do you want?”
Armor thought for a second about what the voice meant when it said ‘rude awakening’. He turned his thoughts back to his original questions. He laughed, “Would you mind telling me who Vincent and Thomas are?”
The voice groaned, “I can tell you about them, but I would think it best if somepony else told you. It would be much more interesting to watch Boss try to explain it to you.”
“Boss? What does he have to do with this?”
“Everything, Armor. He has everything to do with this. The towers, the monsters, the stallions. He has to do with it all. When you go to the Stray Stallion tomorrow, tell him Astaroth sent you. He’ll have no choice but to answer any of your questions.” The voice faded away.
“Wait! I’m not done… So, Boss has my answers, right? He’d best be ready to tell me everything!” Armor shoved the door open all the way and stomped through it, welcoming the outside world.
He was tired of all these mind games. All he wanted was to be with Cadence and put everything that had happened the last few days behind him. He wanted to stop the madness that was the nightmares and just be happy with his lover. The whole ordeal involving Catherine and the fights he had had with the Stray Stallion crowd were of no importance to him anymore. The only reason he kept climbing was so he could see Cadence and set everything right.
But there wasn’t anything to set right anymore, was there? Cadence forgave him, Catherine left him, and he only had one lover now. Why was he still having nightmares?
“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to bring you joy.” --Unknown
“You have a big day ahead of you. It’s time to wake up, Armor.”
Armor squirmed as he heard the mysterious voice call to him. He opened his eyes hesitantly, expecting to find himself still in the nightmare. He’d never heard the voice speak to him outside of them, so he didn’t know what to expect.
“Thank goodness you’re awake! You were out when we arrived, so I decided to just let you sleep.” A kind, gentle voice drew Armor’s attention away from his thoughts. Looking to his side he saw, standing at the edge of the bed, Princess Cadence and her loving smile.
What? But…but we were together last night, right? Wait…is this my room?! But we were in her room last night! I helped her unpack! This…this isn’t happening… Did I just imagine all that? But that’s impossible! It’s crazy! But…
Cadence giggled, “You seem tense, Armor. Is something wrong?”
“Wh-what? Oh, no-nothing… I’m just a little…out of it…is all.” Armor managed to choke out through his confusion.
Suddenly, his heart leaped to his throat as he felt something stir beside him under the covers of the bed. In his mind, he was already screwed. He knew exactly who it was, and he couldn’t begin to understand why she was there.
Tossing the covers back, Catherine popped her head out from under them and yawned, “What’s with all the noise, it’s too early to get up…?” She rubbed her eyes with her hooves as both of the other ponies fell dead silent.
Okay Armor, this is bad! What the hell do I do now? I can’t just play this off as some mistake! How the hell did we end up here, anyway? Oh man, this is not good! There’s no telling how Cadence is going to handle this… And what will Catherine think? She has no idea I have a marefriend… Oh Celestia, this is horrible!
“Armor…Who is this mare?” Cadence bowed her head. Her tone was steady and light, but Armor could hear the sadness tucked away within it.
Armor stuttered for a few seconds, trying to find the right words to use. Catherine cut him off and cheered, “I’m Catherine, and you must be Princess Cadence! It’s nice to finally meet you!”
Both of the ponies stared at her with confused expressions. Cadence scoffed, “What are you talking about? ‘Nice to meet you’?”
Catherine giggled, “I’ve read all about you in Armor’s journals! He really loves you, you know. And I can kinda see why…” She examined the alicorn in front of her top to bottom with her eyes, placing a hoof to her muzzle.
Armor stuttered, “Wh-what are you talking about? Is this some kind of game to you?” He looked over to Cadence to see tears swelling in her eyes.
The pink pony giggled again, “Well, I’m always up for trying new things. I’d be more than happy to share him with you.” Cadence’s jaw dropped in disbelief that the mare would say something like that.
She screamed, “Share him? He’s my coltfriend, why would I share him?! Well…he was my coltfriend, but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore, huh?” She took a few steps back toward the door.
Okay Armor, get a grip. You have to do something. Just try to explain everything to her, and get Catherine out of here! She may not forgive you, but you should at least be honest! …On the other hoof, there’s a good chance she’ll just leave you anyway, so why not stick with Catherine in the end? Dammit, no! I can’t think like that! I have to stop this, now!
“Wait!” he screamed as Cadence walked closer to the door. “This is all one huge misunderstanding! Just let me explain everything, please!”
The alicorn turned back toward him and gave him a very angry glare. She scoffed, “There’s nothing to explain, Armor. I’m gone for three days and you cheat on me with some floozy.”
Catherine butted in at the insult, “There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun, Princess. Then again, you do seem like the stuck-up noble type, so I guess fun isn’t something you’re capable of, eh?” She closed her eyes and stuck out her tongue as a sign of provocation.
“What did you say?! Being a princess has nothing to do with being able to have fun! Are you trying to start a fight?!” Cadence stomped her hoof and took a few steps toward the bed.
Dammit Armor, do something to stop this! There’s no way this will end well if you let it keep going!
Armor rolled from the bed and approached Cadence. He asked, “Would you please let me explain?”
Cadence shook her head and turned back toward the door. She scoffed, “I’m done with this stupid fighting. Tell you what, Armor, why don’t you just enjoy your little floozy while you have her? You don’t have to worry about me messing it up for you.” She shoved open the doors and stomped through.
“Cadence, wait!” the stallion pointlessly called after her.
Catherine waited for a few seconds before asking, “So does this mean we’re not having a three-way?”
Something in the back of Armor’s mind snapped. He turned toward the pink mare and screamed, “This is all your damn fault! Why the fuck are you still here, and how the hell did you even get in here?!”
Catherine sighed, “You invited me, remember? And I don’t think I like your tone of voice.”
The stallion didn’t hesitate to continue, “I know for a fact I didn’t invite you! The last thing I remember is leaving the Stray Stallion and heading back here to go to sleep! You weren’t in any of that!” He was, of course, lying. He remember sleeping with Cadence, as a matter of fact, but he refused to let his probable insanity come to light.
The pink mare, with a sly smirk, asked, “Are you sure you didn’t sleep with Cadence last night, Armor?”
Armor’s rage vanished in an instant. He sighed, “H-how…do you know that?”
Catherine giggled, “Because, Armor, you’re just that gullible. You kept calling me Cadence last night. I guess you were just drunk or something.”
The stallion was at a loss for words. He managed to find a single question to end the silence. He asked, “So…you slept with me…even though you knew I had a marefriend?”
The mare replied in a cheery voice, “Yep! I don’t really care for relationships that much, so I’m more than happy to share my man. Other mares don’t seem so open-minded though…”
Armor was on the verge of snapping again. He instead sighed, “Because of you, Cadence left me… She’s the only mare I care for in this damn town, and she left me…”
Catherine scoffed, “Don’t blame me because you cheated. You should’ve just told me to back off and leave you alone. Well, look on the bright side.”
“What bright side?”
“Now that you two aren’t together, you don’t have to worry about your nightmares any…more…” Catherine quickly slapped a hoof to her muzzle, realizing she may have said way too much.
Armor perked up at her words. He screamed, “What the hell do you know about our nightmares?! Do you have something to do with them?!” He firmly grasped Catherine’s shoulders, staring right into her eyes. He wanted answers.
Catherine gasped, “Th-that hurts, Armor! Stop!”
Armor didn’t loosen his grip. He asked again, “What do you know about the nightmares?”
“I don’t know anything more than why you’re having them! I don’t know what they’re about or what happens in them!”
Armor released his grip. He sighed, “You know why we’re having them…Well so do we! That doesn’t help at all!” Something dawned on him in an instant. “So tell me…you said you helped Boss stock his shelves the other night, and that’s how you knew each other. But you two seem too friendly for that to be the case. How do you two really know each other?”
Catherine thought about the question for a minute or two before saying, “Even if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me. If you want answers, you’ll have to ask Boss. He’s the only guy that has them.”
Armor turned to ask another question, but decided against it. He remembered that the voice had told him to talk to Boss. He instead waved a hoof at the door and commanded, “Get out of here. Now.”
Catherine, losing her cheery demeanor, immediately leaped from the bed and grabbed her dress from the floor before darting from the room. Armor was left to ponder his own thoughts.
So Cadence left me. I just scared the fuck out of Catherine. This is great…just great. I have to figure out some way to get Cadence back before she’s gone forever. I just hope Catherine gets the message and leaves me the hell alone… But what if Cadence doesn’t take me back? Should I have Catherine waiting to…? No! Who the fuck am I kidding? If I keep thinking like this, maybe I don’t deserve Cadence back…
“Come now, Armor, remember what I told you? You have to keep fighting for what you want. Besides, you haven’t reached the Cathedral yet, so anything is possible.”
Great, now you’re talking to me outside of the nightmares? Am I going insane, or are you a real thing?
“If I have to answer, I’d say both. This whole ordeal with Catherine is definitely taking its toll on your mind, right? Well, just be sure to tell Boss Astaroth sent you. You’ll get all your answers when you do.”
Armor shook his head and pulled himself away from his thoughts. He started toward the door to his room. He decided he would go to the barracks and talk to everypony to see how they were holding up…
Night 5, Stray Stallion- 7:53pm
“Cut the crap, Boss!”
Armor’s hoof hit the counter with as much force as it could. The bottles on the shelves behind him shook violently. The other eight stallions around him were trying their best to hold him back to avoid physical conflict.
“I assure you I have no idea what you mean, Mr. Armor.”
Boss lifted his front hooves high in the air as a sign of innocence and confusion. He placed the bottle of whisky in his hoof onto the shelf behind him so as to avoid spilling it. He adjusted his shades and backed slowly up to the shelf, trying to find a way to get away from the angry guard captain.
Aside from the group of stallions and Octavia, the bar had cleared out long before, at about the same time the conflict between Armor and Boss started.
“Don’t play games with me! The voice told me it was you!” Armor waved a hoof angrily at the old stallion behind the counter.
Boss shook his head once more and sighed, “I do not know what you are referring to. What voice is it you are hearing?”
Brawny placed a hoof firmly on Armor’s shoulder and yanked him away from the counter by force. He groaned, “C’mon man, you’re making a fool of yourself.”
Armor jerked out of his friend’s grip and screamed, “That damn voice that talks to us in our nightmares told me this guy was responsible for everything! Astaroth sent me to talk to you!” Boss’s eyes lit up at the name.
Boss laughed, “Astaroth, you say? Well why didn’t you tell me sooner? I would be more than happy to answer any questions Astaroth has sent you with.” His eyes shined a bright crimson color.
The eight stallions standing around Armor jerked back at the sight of the crimson glow. Rough coughed, “What the hell’s going on here, man?”
Octavia gasped, “What’s going on, Boss?”
Armor slapped a hoof to the table and chuckled, “That voice of ours wants you to spill the beans, Boss.”
The old stallion clapped his hooves together and gave a sly smirk. He said, “You’ve done more than I could ever imagine, Armor. When I first came to this world, I never expected ponies to be able to beat my towers. But here you are, on your way to the Quadrangle, and you’ve already amassed a group of followers.” He paused here to allow the ponies to calm down.
Mr. Rich asked, “What do you mean by ‘when I first came to this world’? Are you saying you aren’t from Equestria?”
Armor scoffed, “Of course he isn’t. Neither is Catherine, if my guess is right.”
The stallions all sent him confused glares. Boss laughed, “No, I am not from Equestria, as you all are. In fact, I’m not even really a pony. And Catherine is the same. To explain my whole story to you would take more time than we have, I fear. Ask your questions, Armor, and I will answer.” He placed his hooves on the counter and took a deep breath, readying himself for the barrage of questions.
The ponies in the room all exchanged looks of uncertainty before nodding at Armor. The guard captain asked his first question, “The voice mentioned two people by the names of Thomas and Vincent. He called the ‘men of legend’. Who are they?” The other nine ponies were in the dark as to where the names came from.
Boss cleared his throat before beginning. “I would have hoped your first question would be less confusing to answer. I will explain as best as I can. A few months ago, back when I was in my other world, I played this game with the residents of that world. I judged the men that needed to be judged, and sent them to face their nightmares, just as I have you. Except that time, a man named Vincent came out on top, and bested me at my own game. He received his wish of True Freedom, and was able to restore his relationship with his long-time lover after having an affair with Catherine.”
The stallions’ ears perked up at the mention of Catherine’s name. Boss continued, “A few centuries before that, another man besides myself controlled the nightmares. After cheating on my wife, I was judged and sent to the nightmares to play his game. I challenged him and won. My wish was for immortality, and so Astaroth took me on as his new game-maker. I was the one who judged Vincent and lost. I am the one judging you.”
Armor spoke up, “So you beat your nightmare and made your wish. You started making the nightmares, and Vincent beat you. Now you’re here to judge us. Right?”
Boss cleared his throat and adjusted his shades before continuing, “Correct. For centuries I have judged man’s sins, and have always come out on top. But Vincent was determined enough to not lose. A man of legend is one with the potential to climb all the way to the top of the tower, past the Cathedral, and have his one true wish granted. There is a difference between the True Freedom granted at the Cathedral and the true wish granted at the Empireo.”
Fancypants scoffed, “So there are nine floors, for those dumb enough to want another night of torture?”
Brawny laughed, “I’d rather just end it as soon as possible. Why can’t we climb more than one floor a night?”
Rain jabbed his friend hard in the side and groaned, “Are you a dumbass?! Don’t give the bastard more ideas!”
Boss sighed, “In case you have yet to figure it out, my name isn’t really Boss. No, my name is Thomas Mutton, the name I lived with before becoming the God of these nightmares. I assumed the name Boss to remain inconspicuous while I worked at the Stray Sheep to judge men. Just as Vincent before you, you have been able to lead these stallions to survival night after night, Armor. Although none of you may think it, you owe Armor for more than just his actions in the Torture Chamber. His ability to climb has carried you all farther than you think.”
Rough sighed, “No shit, captain obvious. This guy’s given us something to strive for: being better than his sorry ass.”
Brawny and Rain busted into laughter. Big Mac chimed it, “Ain’t no way we can repay the favor, but we gotta at least keep climbin’ so them risks he keeps takin’ ain’t for nothin’.”
Doctor sighed, “Maybe we all do deserve to be in there, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to stay!”
Armor laughed, “So you say I’m carrying them, eh? I’ll believe it when there’s proof. Look Boss…or Thomas…or whatever the hell your name is…these nightmares have to stop. You’re not getting anything from doing this. In fact, the only things you’ve made are enemies.” He pointed a hoof directly at Boss and everypony joined him.
Boss shook his head and chuckled, “I’m afraid the nightmares won’t stop, not until you all reach the Cathedral. And even then, you can continue to fight if you want your true wish. But do you know why the Cathedral is the last floor?”
Mr. Rich scoffed, “No, but I have a feeling you’ll tell us.”
Boss groaned, “It’s because by the time you reach the Cathedral, you’ve been forced to face all of your fears and doubts. You’ll understand what you truly want more than anything by the time you reach the Cathedral. For example, Vincent Brooks cheated on his lover with Catherine for a whole week. By the time he reached the door at the top of the Cathedral, he knew that he wanted his lover more than anything else in the world. The only reason he climbed the Empireo is because his lover left him for cheating, and he wanted a second chance. That was his wish: a second chance.”
Armor laughed, “So he realized he wanted his lover more than anything, only to wake up and have her leave him? That…” he stopped laughing, “…really sucks, actually.”
Brawny took this chance to butt in, “So would you mind telling us why we’re all here? I get that Fancypants is a manipulating scumbag, Mr. Rich cheated, Armor cheated, and Big Mac and Doctor don’t plan on settling down. But what about the rest of us? What’d I do to get sent in?”
Boss smiled and sighed, “I was hoping you would ask, given the circumstance. I sent you into the nightmares because of the increasing unfaithfulness in your heart. I can see the weakness growing ever greater inside of you. You need to realize that you are either unhappy with your wife, or that you are willing to put up with the lack of freedom you have to be with her. As for Rain…” He turned to face the stallion that was determinedly fiddling with his necklace. “You know exactly why I put you in there, don’t you?”
Rain sighed, “Of course I do. I know she loves me, but I just don’t think I’m ready to marry her…”
“Lack of commitment.” Boss sighed. He turned to the stallion covered in a cloud of smoke and laughed, “I regret sending you into the nightmares, Rough. I truly do, but Astaroth ordered it. I sent you in because you are cheating yourself out of a committed relationship. You know your marefriend has no intention of settling down, but you still waste your time on her. Although it is not the woman’s time being wasted, your lack of changing your lover is still having the same effect.” He shook his head in a genuinely apologetic fashion.
Rough coughed, “Of course. That makes sense. Punish me because she won’t commit. What kind of operation is this Astaroth running, anyway?”
“A very good one, if I do say so myself.” The mysterious voice called out to the group of ponies.
Octavia gasped, “What was that?!” Her head shot back and forth through the bar, trying to find the source of the voice.
Lightning groaned, “Oh man, it’s the voice Armor was talking about… Does that mean I’m cursed, too?”
“You are an idiot, Lightning. But that fact aside, I’m proud to see you come clean so easily, Thomas. I think a special arrangement is in order for such a wondrous occasion.” It laughed maniacally.
Boss hesitantly sighed, “What kind of arrangement would that be, Astaroth?”
“It’s not every century a man figures out the key to the nightmares so quickly. Some of them don’t even find out at all. Vincent was the last one, and that was a freak accident. I think this calls for a celebration.”
Armor called, “What the hell are you talking about, Mr. Voice? What kind of celebration does your sick humor have in mind?”
“How about we end the nightmares early this century, Dumuzid? Make tonight the Cathedral for these extra-special ponies?”
Boss’s jaw dropped and his eyes shined crimson. He screamed, “I certainly will not, Astaroth! The game must be played the whole way through! There are no cheat codes in real life!”
“You understand that I can simply help them to the top anyway, so why not let them go already? We both know they’ll make it to the Cathedral anyway, so why postpone the inevitable?”
Boss’s face twisted into an expression of anger. His hoof hit the counter as he screamed, “Have you gone soft, Astaroth?! These stallions deserve no such assistance! If they deserve to be free, they will reach the Cathedral on their own hooves!”
“You are too stuck in the old ways, Dumuzid. Your towers just simply aren’t getting the job done. These stallions have too much willpower to be brought down by a few blocks. Just take them to the Cathedral and let them be free.”
“I will do no such thing! The towers I’ve constructed are perfectly fine for judging these ponies! Many have already fallen; aside from those you’ve given special treatment!” Boss’s eyes shined even brighter crimson, his shades barely containing the angry glow.
“It’s settled then. Tonight will be the Cathedral. After tonight, you will all be free.” The voice laughed maniacally.
“What?! I agree to no such nonsense!” Boss’s hoof hit the counter with enough force to crack the wood. A few bottles of liquor tumbled from the shelf behind him, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“You don’t have a choice, Dumuzid. I control the nightmares. You just make them look pretty. I think it’s time for you all to go to sleep, though.” With a light chuckle, the voice faded away. Suddenly, as if some magical aura enveloped them, everypony aside from Armor and Boss fell out on the floor of the bar, unconscious.
Armor stared in horror at the bodies on the floor. He stuttered, “Wh-what? What just…happened?” He looked over to Boss, who was in just as much shock.
The old stallion calmed himself and sighed, “It seems the master is changing the rules. Tonight will be the final tower for you all. Tonight’s climb will have more at stake than just your own life, however.”
The voice spoke, “Armor, I believe you have a mare to try and win back, don’t you?”
Armor’s eyes opened wide as he realized why the voice left him awake. “Th-thanks, Mr. Voice!” He nodded at Boss and darted from the bar. He needed to find Cadence to try and explain everything to her. Now that the nightmares would be over after tonight, this was his last chance to set things right so he could have his True Freedom.
Now that Catherine wasn’t in his way, he would surely be able to explain the situation to Cadence calmly and convincingly.
He had to try, at least…
“A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love.” --Stendhal
Armor left the Stray Stallion with the intention of explaining everything to Cadence as best as he could. If tonight would be the final nightmare, he would need her to understand exactly what had happened and how much he regretted everything with Catherine. He hurried back to the castle and to her chambers, hoping she would be willing to listen to him.
Luckily for Armor, Cadence was a very kind mare. When he knocked on her door and asked for a chance to explain himself, she let him in and was willing to listen. He tried to explain everything to her as best as he could. He didn’t make excuses for anything, and he explained everything as he remembered it. He didn’t mention Astaroth or Boss or the nightmares, for the sake of not sounding insane.
Armor paced back and forth from wall to wall as he tried to explain everything to her. “The night you left, me and the guys went to the new bar that opened up, the Stray Stallion. We sat and drank and hung out with Boss, the owner, for a few hours. Everypony else left, but I stayed and chatted for a little longer. Just when I was leaving, I bumped into Catherine, and she offered to buy a drink to make up for her clumsiness. We drank, and I guess I must’ve been too drunk to remember, because the next thing I know, I’m waking up next to her in my bed…”
Cadence didn’t say a thing as she let Armor tell his story. He continued, “I’ve been beating myself up ever since that first night, but it’s even worse. We all went back to the Stray Stallion and drank again. This time, I left a little bit earlier, and went straight to bed. Or at least, I thought I did. When I woke up, she was there beside me again…” Again, Cadence remained silent, deciding whether she believed any of this or not.
Armor continued with a slight hint of worry in his voice. “The day went by, and we all met back in the Stray Stallion. We all got into a huge argument with each other, and some of us were so exhausted that we passed out. Brawny carried me back to my room and let me sleep before heading to bed. When I woke up, Catherine wasn’t there. There was no way she could’ve been there.”
Cadence was almost ready to tell him to stop his little story, but she decided to let him finish. He continued with a sense of urgency, “The day played out, we went to the bar, and we drank and talked. I remembered you were supposed to be home last night and rushed back to the castle. When I got here… Look, you won’t believe me when I tell you this…but…”
“Go ahead. I’m still listening.” Cadence sighed.
Armor swallowed the lump in his throat and continued, “When I got back here, you were waiting on me. I went to your room and helped you unpack. We talked, and then the rest is a blur. But…waking up this morning…I was in my room with Catherine… I don’t know how that’s possible, because I swear I was with you last night! All of this crap has my brain fucked up, you gotta believe me! Even Catherine said I thought she was you last night…”
Cadence scoffed, “Is that the end of your story? So you went to the bar every night and got drunk? Are you seriously going to tell me you cheated on me three times on accident?” She waved a hoof dismissively at him.
He clapped his hooves and groaned, “I know you don’t believe me, but I swear it’s the truth! I can’t remember anything about the time I spent with her! I was only with her last night because I was convinced she was you! I don’t know how this started or why it keeps happening, but I just want it to end! I want to be with you, Cadence. Only you.” He placed a hoof on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes.
“How can I believe you, Armor? How could you possibly mistake her for me?” she scoffed.
Armor stuttered, “I-I don’t know, Cadence… B-but I swear I’m telling you the truth! I’ve been trying to break it off with her since the day it started…but every time I’ve seen her I have large chunks of memory missing… Look, I just want you to know the truth. You don’t have to believe me, but just give me another chance…please…” He took a few steps back and bowed his head. He let out a deep sigh in anticipation of the inevitable rejection.
Cadence shook her head and said, “I don’t know if I can believe you, Armor. I mean… this is a big deal. Not once, not twice, but three times…” She turned her head away and was lost in her own thoughts.
Armor started to say something, but was cut off when a cold air started to fill the room. Both ponies shared confused and concerned looks as the temperature swiftly dropped a few dozen degrees. It was an eerie cold, almost as if there were nothing there. Their concerns doubled when the room around them started to melt away like ice.
Night 5, Cathedral
Before long, the textures and colors of the objects within the room were completely gone, evaporated into nothingness. The walls and ceiling followed after. The last thing to go was the floor, which left the two of them standing in a large, empty black void. In the distance they could see seven doors, all letting a tiny bit of light shine through, with one larger closed door a few feet away from them.
Cadence’s eyes darted back and forth through the dark expanse, unable to figure out where she was or what was going on. Armor, on the other hand, recognized this place all too well.
The mysterious voice called out to them, “Welcome to the Cathedral, Shining Armor. Remember how Thomas told you that you wouldn’t be climbing for just your own life tonight? No, tonight you’ll have to help Cadence reach to top. Good luck.”
“Who was that?! A-Armor, what is this place?” Cadence gripped Armor’s arm with a frightened hoof, her nerves starting to go crazy.
Armor thought for a minute about this new situation. He was used to climbing the towers and pushing blocks. He had done it before with other people following him. But he knew Cadence had no idea what all this was about, or how to traverse the tower safely. To her, this place was a death trap waiting to go off. He contemplated how to explain all this to her.
He gripped her hoof firmly in his and said, “When we go through that door, we have to climb up, okay? We can’t stop for anything, got it?”
She managed to nod hesitantly before asking, “Where is this? Why are we here?”
“I’ll tell you everything when we get out of here, okay? Just follow me, and everything will be alright.” Armor guided the unwilling mare towards the large purple door beside them.
He pushed it open and the white light enveloped them. They were standing at the lowermost level of a moderate-sized tower of blocks. Below them was an expanse of nothingness. Off in the distance, the walls that had been concrete symbols the night before were now marble pillars leading upward. Looking around, Armor saw seven different towers, each with a monster climbing up the bottom, knocking them to pieces. He could just barely make out the figures of the stallions he had been helping the last few nights.
In the back of his mind, Armor was sending them all wishes of good luck and hope for the best. The towers were all huge, and most of the stallions had another pony following behind them, just as Cadence would follow him. At the top of each tower was a giant chapel landing, with a large pearl altar at the center. Armor noticed the bright white light shining from the altars.
A loud roar snapped him back to his current predicament. A pair of large pink hooves ripped through the darkness below, followed by shoulders, a torso, and a head. The creature’s blond hair was scattered all about messily. Its blue eyes were lifeless and dull, and its teeth were ground sharp like spikes. It had blood splattered all around its neck and chin. It roared in a voice similar to Catherine’s, albeit a bit more demonic, “I’ll free you from your chains…”
A hoof flew toward the pair of ponies at a fast speed, barely missing them and instead destroying one of the blocks on the bottommost row. Armor took a moment to look around at the other towers and figure out what their demons were tonight.
He called to the stallions on the other towers, uncertain whether they could hear him or not. He cheered them on, “You can do it guys! Don’t give up! We’ll meet at the Stray Stallion tomorrow, got it?!”
Armor couldn’t take time to consider the symbolism of their demons as Catherine’s hoof crashed into his tower for a second time. He grabbed Cadence by the hoof and pulled her behind him as he climbed up the first few steps of the tower. The alicorn followed him as fast as her frightened mind would let her. Armor stopped her every now and then to move a block or two, but for the most part the tower was simple to climb and maneuver. Compared to the Prison of Despair and Torture Chamber, the Cathedral didn’t seem to be any problem.
The two climbed up the tower as fast as they could, dodging each of the demon’s attacks and maneuvering blocks to make stairs. Cadence didn’t question Armor’s skill at creating the life-saving staircases, and instead just followed close behind her determined partner. She wondered for a second why he was being so cautious to keep her right by his side, but she already knew the answer.
Finally, after what felt like hours of climbing, the duo reached the large landing at the top of the tower. Bursts of white light let Armor know that his friends had made it out safely, and he watched their demons evaporate in the light of the altar. Armor dragged Cadence by the hoof to their respective altar and placed his unoccupied hoof onto it.
The mysterious voice laughed, “You did well, Armor. I assume you know what you want by now? That’s not to say you’ll actually get it, of course. This is only the Cathedral, not the Empireo.”
Armor called back to the voice, “Fuck you, Astaroth! We made it to the top, now let us go home!”
Cadence whispered to the stallion, “Is it…Is it almost over…?”
Armor nodded in a reassuring confidence. The voice cheered, “Uh-uh-uh. You may have reached the top, but your vows are still waiting. The altar is there for a reason. An epiphany to end all others awaits you in its words. Take them to heart, and put your demon to rest.”
Catherine appeared at the edge of the landing, her face twisted in demonic rage and her hoof flailing wildly at the pair of ponies. Armor pulled Cadence as close to him as he could and started to read what was written in the book on the altar. As he read, the book started to let out a gentle glow, which soon became brighter and more intense. As he read the final sentence, the light shot from the book and pierced Catherine’s head.
Instantly and comfortingly, the demon evaporated into the nothingness of the void, leaving only Cadence and Armor together on the landing. Letting out a sigh of relief, Armor placed a hoof on the altar and welcomed the embrace of the white light as it returned them to their world.
Night 5, Princess Cadence’s Chambers- 3:08am
The two found themselves lying on Cadence’s bed, exhausted and unable to get up. Although the tower had been relatively short and the puzzle easy, the fact that they had been together took its toll on Armor’s body. His constant worry for Cadence left him mentally drained. Cadence, on the other hoof, was genuinely exhausted because she had never been faced with the nightmares before.
Armor sighed, “We did it. You’re safe now…”
Cadence had tears in her eyes. She asked, “What was that, Armor? That was…”
“It was hell. At least, as close as you can get. The other guys at the Stray Stallion… we’ve all been sent there every night for the last few days. We’ve had to climb for our lives every night.”
“Okay Fancypants, it’s time to wake up. Tonight’s tower holds a special challenge for you. You should open your eyes and greet tonight’s hell.”
Night 5, Cathedral
Fancypants squirmed as the warmth of the bar faded away and gave way to the icy cold he had felt many times before. He slowly lifted himself to his hooves and shook the fog from his head. He opened his eyes to see the dark void all around him. In the distance, seven doors stood closed, each emitting a faint glow. A frightened voice snapped his attention back to his immediate area.
“Wh-where in Equestria am I?!” The voice was gentle and proper, something of a sophisticated mare. The source of the voice stood to her hooves and spun around wildly, trying to figure out where she was. Her white coat shined faintly in the dark void. The faint glow of the door reflected from her purple mane.
Fancypants thought briefly about who the mare was before the realization poured over him like a tidal wave. He gasped in horrified shock, “M-Miss Rarity?! What in the name of all that is beautiful are you doing in this place?”
The mare’s attention immediately snapped to the stallion that was slowly approaching. She darted toward him and cried, “Fancypants! Wh-where are we?” She buried her head in his chest as the stallion embraced her.
“Welcome to the Cathedral, you precious ponies. Tonight, you’ll be guiding your victim to the top. It would be a shame if she turned up dead tomorrow, wouldn’t it?” The mysterious voice laughed hysterically at them.
“Who was that, Fancypants?! What is going on here?” Rarity’s voice trembled as she searched for answers.
Fancypants tightened his embrace and scoffed, “I’ll play your game, Mr. Astaroth! But you had best swear that this is the end!” Rarity gave him a look of total confusion. He whispered to her, “Miss Rarity, dear, I know how you so detest physical labor… However, once we pass through this door, we are going to have to climb to the top. Just follow behind me and everything will be fine. I’ll answer your questions once we get there, okay?” He gripped her hoof tightly in his own.
Rarity nodded hesitantly once before releasing her lover. She let out one deep sigh to calm her nerves. Fancypants guided her toward the door, which swallowed them in its white light. Once the light faded, they were standing at the bottom of a tower of blocks, similar to the ones from the previous nights. Fancypants noticed the seven other towers, but ignored them as he started to climb his own. He pulled the frightened mare gently behind him as he climbed up each step.
After a few steps, a distorted voice screeched at them, “How dare you, you heartless mule?!” A large hoof popped into existence just below them, wielding a large silver needle. The demon’s face and front half exploded into view just after it, revealing its appearance to the ponies.
Rarity looked the creature over worriedly. She recognized the faded white coat and bloodstained purple mane. She noticed the needle and immediately realized what the creature was. She gasped, “I-is that me?!” She latched on to Fancypants’s arm as she realized the creature was meant to resemble her.
Fancypants cupped her chin in his hoof and groaned, “No, Miss Rarity. That is not you. You’re much more beautiful than that. Just ignore that beast and let us continue on.” He took her hoof again and continued his climb.
The tower was simple enough to traverse. Of the four previous nights, this tower most closely resembled the one from the Underground Cemetery. Aside from pushing a block here or there, it was a straight climb up to the landing and the altar. However, the demon wasn’t planning on letting them get out alive. It let out an ear-shredding roar and sent its needle flying across an entire row of blocks and caused the tower to shake violently. It then destroyed an entire column of blocks, which threw the ponies off even worse.
The demon jerked its hoof back far as if preparing a punch. Fancypants shoved a block to the side and pushed Rarity on her way. “You go on ahead! I’ll distract this thing to the best of my ability!” Rarity climbed a single step before the hoof came crashing down to the block Fancypants stood on.
The block crumbled, and for a single instant, the physics of the realm shattered, and the rich pony latched on to the edge of the block beside him. Such a move was unheard of in the nightmares. Rarity immediately stopped in her tracks and turned back to her lover. She dropped down one step to try and help him climb up from the edge. The demon prepared its needle for another swipe. For a single instant, the rich pony was certain he heard Shining Armor’s voice calling into the dark expanse.
Fancypants screamed at his companion, “Get out of here, now! The end is right there, just go up! This is the end of my mountain, but there’s still time for you to go!” Despite his objections, the unicorn continued to pull on his mane and hooves, trying to get him back up. The demon was almost ready to attack.
Rarity scoffed, “I’m not leaving you here, darling! Whatever this beast is, it will not take you from me!” She put all the strength she had in lifting him from the edge, a feat which amazed him. He decided to stop fighting it and squirmed to get his footing back.
If only she knew what kind of stallion I really am. I doubt she would continue to help me… What if she knew I’ve only been using her? Would she still be so determined to save me?
“You give her too little credit. You may think you’re tricking her, but she knows you’re only in it to cash in on her designs. She’s not a fool, Fancypants. She knows you have no intention of staying with her, and yet here she is, risking her life to pull you back from the brink. How does that make you feel, rich pony?”
She…knows? But how?
“Your reputation precedes you, Fancypants. Now get the hell off of your sorry plot and get her to the altar. I have no intention of helping you survive tonight, pony.”
Fancypants swallowed the lump in his throat and, in a sudden burst of energy, leaped to the top of the block and regained his footing. He took Rarity’s hoof tightly in his own and hurried up the steps to the landing. Just as the demon sent its needle flying across the row of blocks, the two ponies reached the landing and wasted no time in climbing up.
Fancypants dragged Rarity up to the shining altar and placed his free hoof on it with confidence and relief. Rarity placed her free hoof on top of his and let out an exhausted breath. The two looked into each other’s eyes, and a beam of light burst from the altar. The demon lifted its head to the level of the ponies just as the light passed by, causing it to evaporate into the abyss around them.
The white light engulfed the pair of worn-out partners. The rich pony sighed, “You knew all along, didn’t you?”
The mare thought for a second before realizing to what he was referring. She giggled, “Of course I did. Did you think I was dumb? I was never convinced such an influential stallion would ever genuinely want to be with me…”
He placed a hoof firmly on her shoulder and whispered, “You were wrong.” He gently placed kiss on her forehead before the light absorbed the both of them.
Rarity’s awe-filled voice echoed, “Was I truly?”
Fancypants used ponies to obtain personal wealth and status. He was thusly sent into the nightmares for wasting each mare’s time with his own selfish intentions. Rarity’s act of generously saving him, despite knowing his true intentions, helped him realize the error of his ways. For the first time, he felt genuine affection for another pony. Fancypants decided it was time to give true love a shot…
“Okay, Filthy Rich…time to wake up. I believe tonight’s hell might test your limits of being a family man.”
Night 5, Cathedral
Mr. Rich slowly pushed himself off the ground and tried to ignore the chill in his bones. He groaned, “Couldn’t you have warned us, Mr. Voice? That floor’s pretty solid stuff…”
An innocent and terrified voice squeaked, “D-Daddy, is that you?”
Mr. Rich’s eyes locked on to the direction of the voice. Its source made his heart skip a few beats. Sitting there, a few feet from him, was his daughter. The hair of her magenta coat stood up in fear and confusion. Her pale violet mane was sleep-tussled and unruly. The fear was overabundant in the young filly’s eyes.
The stallion stepped slowly closer to his daughter. His voice cracked as he sighed, “Yeah, it’s me…Are you okay, Diamond?” Tears swelled up in his eyes as he slowly made his way to his daughter’s side.
Why did you drag her into this, Astaroth?! She’s just a child! What kind of monster would make an innocent filly suffer through these nightmares?!
Mr. Rich knelt beside his daughter and hugged her, knowing that this could very well be the last night the two of them would spend together. He knew all too well the dangers of the towers in these nightmares, and knew that one of them could easily lose their lives tonight. He prayed that her life wouldn’t be the one to end.
The mysterious voice called to them, “Tonight is the Cathedral, Filthy Rich. For added difficulty, you have to guide your precious daughter to the top of the tower. I wonder, are you as big of a family man as you like to think?” It faded away with an eerie laugh.
Mr. Rich shook his head in anger, and took his daughter by the hoof. He whispered, “Listen to me, Diamond. The only way for us to go home and see Mommy is to go through that door over there.” He pointed his free hoof at the large door next to them. He continued, “When we do, you’re gonna have to follow close behind me. When we get to the top of the stairs, we’ll be able to go home. If I tell you to do something, do it, okay?” He placed his hoof on her head and shut his eyes tightly.
The confused filly nodded and gasped, “O-okay Daddy. I’ll listen…”
The stallion regretfully stood up and opened his eyes. He sighed, “Astaroth, this isn’t funny anymore! How could you bring a child into this hell?!”
He looked back at the door with determined eyes. He slowly stomped toward it, his daughter following close behind him. His mind flooded with horrific thoughts of all the ways he could potentially lose his daughter on the tower. He guided her by the hoof through the door, letting the white light engulf them as they passed through.
There they were, standing on their tower, about to have to climb for dear life to the very top of the tower. Mr. Rich looked up to notice that the tower was extremely short. He also noticed that the blocks were abnormally large. In fact, standing on her hind legs, Diamond was still barely half the height of one block. The stallion immediately realized that he would be pulling Diamond up block by block as they climbed.
This fact didn’t bother him until a childlike voice roared from the void below them. It called, “Why don’t you love us, Daddy?” The body of a filly took shape below them and lunged up to their level. Its features were identical to Diamond Tiara’s, aside from the fact that its eyes were faded and its face had bloodstains on it.
Luckily for her, Diamond was unable to figure out what the creature was supposed to be. Her still-developing mind, added with her confusion and fright, wouldn’t let her piece together the appearance of the demon. She simply latched on to her father’s leg and asked, “Wh-what is that thing, Daddy? Is it a monster?”
Mr. Rich knew what it was. He had run from it for four nights now, and tonight would be the fifth. He shook his head and sighed, “It’s just a creepy ghost, sweetie. Like from those little stories you like to read. We just need to keep going up, so follow me.” He struggled to climb the first block beside him. He reached both hooves down for his daughter to grab and proceeded to pull her up to his level.
The tower was simple. There were no special blocks or movements required. All they had to do was climb up. Every few steps the demon would slam its silver spoon into the side of the tower, but Mr. Rich kept climbing up with his daughter. Everything went fine, until the two of them reached the landing at the top.
The reach from their current row of blocks to the landing was slightly higher than the rest of the blocks of the tower. Mr. Rich completely and utterly struggled to climb up to the landing, and to his horror, he only barely made it. He hung the front half of his body over the edge to help pull his daughter up to him, but found that he was suddenly drained of energy. He strained and struggled to lift Diamond from the blocks below, but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get her off of the ground…
He looked up to see the demon drawing its spoon back. His mind raced with horrible images of what would happen if he didn’t get Diamond up on the landing. He closed his eyes tight, gritted his teeth, and used every bit of energy he had to lift his daughter up, but it was still to no avail. It seemed that the nightmare didn’t want him to save her.
The mysterious voice called out to them “If it takes the death of a close loved one to make you realize how horrible of a person you’ve been, then I have no choice but to give you that.”
How dare you?! She’s only a child, Astaroth! Why would you do something like this to a child?!
“Because, Filthy, I assume your daughter’s death will hold a greater place in your heart than your wife’s. I’m sorry it came down to this, but tonight is the last trial. Everypony has to learn their lesson one way or another.”
The demon in the distance roared an unintelligible profanity aimed at Mr. Rich. It thrust its arm forward, and in a single instant every block on the final row shattered. All the connecting blocks below them fell into the void. Diamond Tiara, the frightened filly, latched tightly on to her father’s hooves as she dangled helplessly over the void below.
Mr. Rich couldn’t bring himself to look up, fearing that he might see a final attack coming. Tears ran from his eyes as he said, “Everything’s going to be okay sweetie… This is all just a bad dream, okay?”
The filly screamed in fear, “D-Daddy help! Th-this isn’t any fun!”
The stallion continued, “Listen to me Diamond. I’m sorry you were dragged into this. But I swear this isn’t over…” The monster let out an angry roar and drew its spoon back again.
You hear that, Astaroth?! This isn’t the end, you sorry bastard! If I challenge Boss to another night, I can get any wish granted, right? I don’t care what the risk is, I have to try!
“Be my guest, my precious pony. But the fact remains that Diamond will still die in about three seconds.”
The angry stallion looked up at the demon just in time to see it swing its arm in their direction. The tip of the demon’s spoon slammed into his face and sent him flying toward the altar. The force of the impact caused him to lose his grip on his daughter, and the sad realization crashed over him that she was falling into the void. It was a fate that he had witnessed personally once before in his previous climbs, and it filled him with a deeper sorrow than he’d ever felt before.
But he didn’t stop and mourn. He threw himself to his hooves and stomped to the altar. He slammed a hoof onto the glowing book and let his tears pour onto it. The anger was boiling in the back of his mind, and he had no intentions of just letting his daughter die. If it meant he would have to climb for one final night, he would be more than happy to do it.
The light from the altar focused into a beam and shot itself at the demon. Mr. Rich watched as the beast that so closely resembled his daughter shattered into pieces and disintegrated into dust in the void. The demon’s death only dug deeper into his sorrowful heart. He might as well have been watching Diamond die twice.
The white light engulfed him and carried him from the cold emptiness of the large void. The stallion welcomed the warm air of the real world with open arms. His tears continued to fall, even as he awoke.
Filthy Rich cheated on his wife and racked himself with guilt for not telling his family. That guilt kept him from making amends, and he was sent into the nightmares to be judged due to his unfaithfulness and lack of apologizing. His Cathedral challenge was meant to help him decide which of his joys he loved more. Did he love his family more than his own life? The answer was clear to him as he watched Diamond Tiara die in the tower…
“Let’s go, Rain. You have a tower to climb, and a special mare to save…”
Night 5, Cathedral
“Ugh…my head. Why the hell’d you knock us out like that, Astaroth?” Rain pushed himself from the cold ground of the black void. He wasn’t surprised to find himself in the void for the fourth night. At least he could find comfort in the fact that this would be the last.
He opened his eyes and stood up tall, taking note of the seven lights in the distance. He then focused on the single door a few feet away. Just as he took a few steps toward the door, a frightened voice called out, “Wh-where am I? What is this?”
The voice made Rain’s brain kick into overdrive. It couldn’t possibly be…
Cloud… No… She doesn’t deserve this hell, Astaroth! She’s done nothing wrong!
He looked around to find the source of the voice. There, a few feet away, lying on the ground of the dark void was a Pegasus mare. A familiar mint coat and cyan mane greeted him as the light from the door made the mare barely visible. Rain was at a loss of words as he realized that she was, unmistakably, his marefriend. The very marefriend that had given him his single defining feature in the previous nightmares and had caused the uncertainty that ended up sending him into the nightmares.
He approached her slowly and gently extended a hoof. He sighed, “Everything will be fine, Cloud.”
The mare’s eyes locked on to him, trying to figure out who the stallion was. To her relief, she recognized him almost immediately in the dim light. She stood to her hooves and asked, “Is that you Rain? Where in Equestria are we?” She took his hoof with one of her own.
“Welcome to the Cathedral, my little Pegasi. If you make it to the top of tonight’s tower, you’ll both be free.” The mysterious voice had a touch of venom in it.
Noticing Cloud’s confused expression, Rain shouted into the void, “This isn’t funny, Astaroth! She doesn’t deserve to go through this!”
The mare gripped his hoof tight and asked, “What’s going on, Rain? Who was that?”
Rain sighed, “Listen up, Cloud. If we wanna go home, we have to go through the door. When we do, all hell is going to break loose, and we’ll have to climb. I need you to follow me up the steps, okay?” His eyes held a fire of serious determination.
The mare nodded and gripped his hoof tighter. The two of them headed right for the door. A white light enveloped them and temporarily took away all of their senses. Once it faded, the area they were in came into focus. They rested at the bottom of one of eight block towers. Rain was fully ready to get started climbing, but his marefriend stopped to take in the surroundings. Marble pillars in the distance, glowing altars at the top of the neighboring towers, and two large demons climbing up respective towers.
Rain recognized one demon from Fancypants’s description of his monster. The other demon appeared to be a filly, so he assumed it was Mr. Rich’s monster. Keeping that in mind, he stared into the dark void below to wait for his own demon. He wondered if Cloud would be able to realize that the demon was her.
A roar echoed from below, followed by the front half of a Pegasus with bloody wings and a bloodstained wedding dress. The demon was identical to Cloud, aside from faded irises and needle-like teeth. In one hoof the demon carried a bouquet of knives, and in the other it held a saw blade ground to look like a wedding band. It swung its bouquet at the ponies before crying, “But we’re…perfect for each other!”
Cloud looked back and forth between Rain and the demon. She scoffed, “I take it this is supposed to be me? A mare in a wedding dress chasing you? Is this the nightmare you were talking about the other night?”
Rain bowed his head and nodded hesitantly. He sighed, “Yep, this is it. And yeah, that’s supposed to be you, although she’s a good deal uglier.” He took her by the hoof and climbed the first few steps up the tower, dragging her behind him.
They climbed up a few levels before Cloud angrily mumbled, “If I’m such a nuisance that you actually have nightmares about marrying me, then why the hell are we still together?” She followed Rain up the tower, not out of love but fear.
The stallion, as he steadily climbed up, groaned, “Because I love you, Cloud! I just don’t think I’m ready for marriage… And all this wedding talk has me going insane!” He continued pulling her up the tower as the demon thrashed its arms. A few blocks were crushed here and there, but it was nothing too serious for the ponies to avoid.
The annoyed mare gasped between steps, “So instead of…talking about it with me…you’ve been letting this bitch…chase you every night?” She was slowly running out of energy, and was uncertain of how much longer she’d be able to climb. It seemed that the tower was draining her of her will to continue.
Rain screamed, “I didn’t want to worry you, okay?! Now just shut up and save your breath for climbing! We’re not even half way there yet!”
The mare followed his directions, finding it the best course of action. She followed him up the tower ever further, still dodging the demon’s attacks. A little ways further up the tower, the two of them listened to a stallion’s voice echo through the dark void. Suddenly, almost every tower had a demon climbing up the bottom, knocking them to pieces.
Finally, they reached a point on the tower that proved inconvenient. The tower had completely drained Cloud of her energy before they reached the top. In fact, there were only about a dozen steps left before she simply collapsed onto the ground. She found herself unable to get back up, and her breath was heavy. The tower was determined to not let her go on.
Rain stopped and tried to help her to her hooves. He groaned as he pulled her up, only for her to fall back down, “C’mon honey, we’re almost at the top! You can’t give up on me now!”
Cloud scoffed in heavy breaths, “It’s not like I’m…trying to die here… My muscles just…won’t work…”
Rain hit the block beside them with an angry hoof. He screamed, “Dammit, I’m not leaving you here! C’mon, we’re getting the hell out of here!” With a burst of angry energy, he pulled her off of the ground and placed her on his back. He held one hoof on her side to help her maintain her balance as he struggled to climb up the first step.
The exhausted mare sighed, “This is stupid… If you keep this up…we’re both gonna die. Just leave me alone…and get the hell out of here.”
The stallion stomped a hoof and shouted, “That’s not happening! I’d rather die here with you than just leave you for dead! We’re either getting out of here together, or not at all!” He climbed up the next step with just as much trouble.
The demon in the void drew back its bouquet and readied it for a quick thrust into the ponies. It screamed, “If you won’t love me, then you won’t live!” It thrust its knives directly at them.
Rain spun around and screamed at the monster, “If I have to die for wanting to save my woman, then go ahead and kill me! But just know what kind of mistake you’re making by taking an innocent mare’s life, Astaroth!” He closed his eyes and turned so that Cloud wouldn’t have to see the impending doom heading for them.
Just as the knives were about to completely destroy the targeted section of the tower, an agonized roar rang out from the demon, and it suddenly burst into dust and fell into the oblivion below the tower. Opening his eyes, Rain barely caught a glimpse of a white ray of light extending out toward the walls of the void. He turned and focused on the altar of the landing, and watched the beam retract into it.
He let out an over-relieved sigh, “I guess the voice has a heart after all. You still with me, Cloud?” He craned his neck to look at the mare on his back.
She sighed, “Yeah. That was...scary. Can we go home now?”
Rain nodded and continued his struggle up the last ten or so steps to the landing at the top. As he reached the solid surface of the platform, he dropped Cloud gently on the ground and plopped down beside her. He laughed, “I guess you never know what you really want until it’s about to be ripped away from you…” He placed a hoof on the necklace hanging over his chest. He gave Cloud a loving glare and sighed, “You still wanna tie the knot, right?”
The mare giggled, her energy starting to return, “Can we talk about it after we get out of this place? I think I’m catching a cold here…” She let out a deep breath, which formed a cloud of fog as it left her muzzle.
“Right…” Rain groaned. He continued with a chuckle, “…we better get going. There’s no telling how long this landing will stick around.
He took Cloud by the hoof and gently lifted her to her hooves. The two walked side by side up to the welcoming light of the altar. It swallowed them as they approached, and the cold air of the nightmare quickly drained away from them.
The mysterious voice sighed, “You have guts, standing up to your demon like that. Congratulations.”
Rain Crasher was a hard-working stallion that loved his job as a guard. He also loved his marefriend, Cloud Tumble. But despite his strong feelings for her, he was hesitant to marry her and start a family. He was sent into the nightmares because of his hesitation, and he was judged to see whether his doubt could be erased or not. His Cathedral challenge helped him see just how much he loved her, and he realized that as long as she was by his side, he’d be ready to face anything head on. He decided he would propose once all of this Woman’s Wrath nonsense was over…
“C’mon you big brute, it’s time to face tonight’s hell. You have lessons to learn tonight, my pony.”
Night 5, Cathedral
“You coulda warned us before knocking us the fuck out, Astaroth…” Brawny groaned as he lifted himself from the ground.
A familiar voice caused him to leap immediately to his hooves. It scolded, “Who are you talking to, you senile old mule?”
He looked around the dark expanse wildly, praying he wouldn’t find what he was looking for. To his dismay, his eyes found the familiar yellow coat and shiny red mane of a mare he knew all too well. His wife of almost two decades was lying less than a foot away from him, having been awake longer than he had. She had seemingly waited for him to wake up simply so she could scold him for this weird turn of events.
“I’m talking to the guy that brought us here. It’s nice to see you too, Starlight.” The old stallion scoffed in annoyance. Waking up to his wife’s annoyed tone wasn’t helping him cope with the fact that they were together in the nightmare.
The unicorn muttered, “So where the hell are we, Brawny? Is this one of those interactive plays or something?” She looked around to see the seven doors in the distance, each letting off a bit of light.
“I’m afraid not, Starlight. This isn’t a play, this is hell. Tonight’s the Cathedral, Brawny. Considering this is only your second night, you might be in for a rough climb. Especially since you have your old lady with you tonight. Good luck.” The mysterious voice laughed at the ponies.
“Who’re you callin’ old, you creep? I’m barely a day over forty!” The mare waved an angry hoof in the air, not frightened by the disembodied voice.
Brawny slapped the mare’s arm out of the air and sighed, “Look darling, we’ve gotta get going. When we head through that door, we have to go up, got it?”
Starlight sent her husband a smug look and scoffed, “Ha! Up, you say? I think I can handle that. Try not to fall behind, big guy.” She took the initiative in approaching the door and opening it. Its bright light engulfed them and sent them to their tower.
The only thing on Brawny’s mind was how horrible the whole experience was going to be. The simple fact that his wife was an egotistical control freak could only mean trouble in the end. He did stop to notice all the other towers in the distance, three of which with demons climbing up the bottoms. He recognized the demon that was meant to resemble Rain’s marefriend, but the other two were completely foreign to him.
The annoyed mare called to him, “Are you coming or what, idiot?” She was already roughly a dozen steps up the tower.
Brawny scratched his mane in confusion and asked, “Where’s the fire, dear? You shouldn’t run on ahead like that!”
Starlight was about to laugh at him and make a snide comment when a loud roar echoed from the void below them. The shape of a unicorn’s body burst into view as a large chain came crashing into the tower beside Brawny. On one hoof was locked half of a pair of handcuffs. In the other hoof rested the end of the large chain. The creature screamed, “You’re mine, you bastard! Get back here!” The handcuffed hoof went flying toward the terrified stallion.
Just before it made contact, Brawny was jerked from his paralyzed position and pulled up one step. His wife delivered a firm hoof to the side of his face and groaned, “Are you dumb, Brawny? You just gonna let that thing take you from me?” She took a firm hold of his hoof and hurriedly climbed back up the tower.
Brawny, uncertain of just why his wife was so calm, followed closely behind her as she climbed the tower. After a few dozen more steps and a few hostile attacks from the demon, he was tired of being dragged behind the mare he was supposed to be guiding.
He firmly planted his hooves on his current block and scoffed, “Ain’t I supposed to be helping you, darling? Looks like you’re doing all the work here…” The mare smirked slyly and let go of his hoof.
She laughed, “If you wanna take point, be my guest, big fella.” She waved a hoof at the steps beside them and bowed.
Brawny grumbled, “Why thank you, mistress… C’mon.” He climbed a few blocks before coming to a nice split in the tower. They were faced with six blocks on either side of a two-block gap.
He started to climb up the blocks on the left side of the gap, but was stopped when Starlight interjected. She giggled, “You shouldn’t go up there, dear. It’s a trap.”
He groaned, “How the hell can you tell? Got some secret sixth sense I don’t know about?” He continued climbing up a few steps.
She shrugged her shoulders and scoffed, “I’m warning ya, don’t go up there.”
Brawny ignored her warnings and climbed up another step. A loud clicking sound echoed and a sizzling sound started to ring out. He quickly looked down at his current block to see it flashing a red color with a spark following the edge of the block. Without hesitation, he immediately turned back around and ran down the steps until he was level with his wife.
Within a few seconds of reaching her, the block exploded, and the blocks around it crumbled into dust. Starlight laughed, “I told you. That block was different from the rest. It had a blue center. You shoulda listened. Now we’ve lost precious time. Let’s go.” She started up the right side of the steps and climbed faster than before, trying to outrun the demon that was catching up to them.
Brawny shamefully followed behind his wife, wishing that she wasn’t always right. The two continued up the tower until they had just about reached the landing. Starlight stopped for a minute to catch her breath and let Brawny catch up to her. He stopped by her side and waited for her to get ready for the remainder of the climb. The two ponies shared happy smiles.
“This is just about the first time since we got married that we’ve done anything exciting together… Why don’t we anymore?” Starlight sighed as she rested on the block.
Her husband clapped his hooves and chuckled, “Because you won’t untie my leash, you old hag.”
She giggled, “That’s right. You know, all things considered, you’re a pretty good pet.”
“Just shut up and let’s get going. This place is giving me the creeps.”
“You sure it’s the place? Maybe I’m just good like that…” She winked at him and gave him a nudge in the side with an elbow. She hopped up to her hooves and started her climb up the next step.
Brawny let out a hearty laugh and followed her. Before long, the two of them were staring at the glowing altar on the landing at the very top of the tower. The demon reached up over the edge of the landing and tossed its chain at them. A beam of light from the altar shattered the chain and pierced the demon right through the chest. It completely burst into dust and spread throughout the nightmarish void.
The mysterious voice couldn’t hide its amazement as it said, “Color me impressed, Brawny Soldier. You and your wife very easily conquered your demons and reached the end of the nightmare. I assume you learned your lesson, correct?”
Brawny scoffed at the voice, “Of course I did, ya bastard! Now send us home so we don’t get frostbite.”
The two ponies shared a loving kiss as the white light’s warmth swallowed them.
Brawny Soldier was a stallion that had lived his entire life with the same old process. He would wake up, get suited up, head to his post, and keep watch all day. Then he would go back to the barracks, remove his armor, and head home to spend time with his family. After he got married, his life became a boring rut. He was tired of the rut. All he wanted was to be free from the proverbial shackles of his personal and professional lives. His Cathedral showed him that his shackles were just a figment of his once-wild life’s dreams. He found that he was actually happy under his wife’s watchful eye. After all, she had saved his life with her constant nagging during their climb…
“A man punished for his lover’s sins. How unusual. But if the Cathedral is the only thing that will show you how wrong you are, then so be it. Wake up, Rough.”
Night 5, Cathedral
Rough coughed as he pushed himself from the ground. The cold air reminded him of the previous night’s nightmare, and he knew that he had been sent back. He searched nervously over the ground, hoping to find his pack of cigarettes and lighter. He had no intention of climbing the tower without a cancer stick between his lips. They relieved his stress, if only slightly.
He coughed as he lit up a cigarette and took a puff, “Dammit Astaroth, you coulda warned us before dropping us.” He looked around the dark expanse only to find seven doors in the distance with an eighth beside him. He sighed and readied himself for the climb that would soon come.
A confused voice rang out into the void and caught his attention. It groaned, “What the fuck is this place?” The figure of a mare squirmed in the darkness a few feet away from Rough. The voice sent shivers down his spine.
You gotta be kidding me! Why is she here?
He walked slowly over to the mare’s side to examine her. He was greeted with familiar eyes and a frightened voice, “Wh-what’s going on?”
He examined the mare in the faint light the door was putting off. She was without a doubt his marefriend, though he hadn’t doubted that fact upon hearing her voice. She had the same dark purple coat and yellow mane he’d seen every day for nearly five years. All of this led Rough to wonder exactly what she was doing in this hellish place.
Rough helped the mare to her hooves and sighed, “A whole lot of shit, Sugar. Look, we have to get out of here. The sooner we head through that door, the sooner we’ll be home.” He grabbed her hoof and started heading for the door.
She planted her hooves firmly on the ground and scoffed, “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me where the hell we are!” Her face was twisted in anger and annoyance.
He groaned, “I told you I’ll explain everything once we’re outta here! Now c’mon, it’s not smart to hang around too long.” He tried once more to pull her to the door, but she wouldn’t budge an inch.
The mysterious voice took this opportunity to butt in, “Trouble in paradise, ponies? I wonder how long it will take you to realize just what your problem is, Rough. I would think it was obvious, but someponies are just too blind. Tonight is the Cathedral, where your lesson will be learned, no matter the cost. I would suggest you hurry and start climbing. The sooner you reach the altar, the sooner you can lift your burden.” It faded away with a laugh.
Sugar sent a frightened glare at Rough before joining him at his side. She gasped, “Okay, I’ll play it your way. Let’s go.” She followed as he led them up to the door.
It opened and embraced the ponies with its bright light. Once it had faded, they found themselves on the bottom of a relatively small tower of blocks. In the distance they saw seven other towers. Four of those towers had monsters climbing up and destroying the bottoms as they went. Rough ignored the other demons as a roar echoed from below his own tower.
He looked over the edge into the void and watched as a demonic body materialized below him. Tonight, for the second time, he would be facing a demon he recognized all too well. The demon’s white coat and red mane, mixed with the golden breastplate and helmet, let him know that he was his own demon.
It leaped through the void and stopped level to the two ponies. With a chuckle it roared, “She doesn’t love you, dumbass!” and thrashed its hooves at the tower.
Rough took a puff of his cigarette and laughed, “You keep telling me that, but I ain’t gonna believe it!” He turned to Sugar and took her hoof. He led her up the first couple of steps before sighing, “Stay close and watch out for that thing’s hooves. It’s a killer, and won’t hesitate to do its job!” With a nod, she followed close behind him as they climbed the tower.
As they continued going up, both ponies started to quickly lose their energy. Where they were pumped up with adrenaline in a race to the top of the tower, they were now struggling to climb a single step. With each step they had to stop and catch their breaths. Rough hadn’t had this problem the previous night, so he knew it could only be one of two things causing the struggle. Either Astaroth was being a dick or escorting his lover was draining him worse than he would have imagined.
This is a fun game you’ve made, you sick fuck! Just let us get to the top and end all this bullshit. Isn’t that what you want, anyway?
“You seem to misjudge my intentions, Rough. You have to learn your lesson before I can send you back.”
Oh yeah? And what lesson might that be? That you’re a complete and total prick to be killing us so cheaply?
“Alas, you could never understand the beauty of what I’ve done. Why don’t you forget about that unfaithful marefriend of yours and hurry on your way? No matter how drained you feel, she is definitely worse off than you. You could easily leave her behind, like you should have years ago.”
So all this is because she doesn’t wanna get married? What kind of bastard would punish a person for not wanting to be married?! Ain’t this a problem I should work out on my own?
“You’re wasting your time with her, Rough. There are so many other mares that would be more than happy to settle down. Spending all of your personal time with her is taking the chance for a real relationship away from you. Surely you don’t want that?”
Do I look like I give a damn?! If she ain’t ready to settle down, then so be it! But I love her, and I ain’t abandoning her!
“If that’s how you want to play it, then I simply can’t allow you to leave this place alive. Good night, Rough Charger…as much as it pains me to do so.”
With that final comment, the demon reached the area level with the two exhausted ponies. It roared, “You just can’t take no for an answer, eh?” and sent one hoof flying directly into the few blocks below Sugar.
Mustering up all of his energy, Rough darted to the edge of the undamaged blocks and latched on to the mare before she could fall into the void below. The half of the tower that had been struck continued to crumble to pieces while the stallion used all of his remaining energy to try and save his lover.
Rough coughed as he spat his cigarette away, “I ain’t letting go of you, Sugar! I don’t care what happens, I love you, and that’s a fact!”
The mare looked up at him with a mixture of sadness and regret in her eyes. She sighed, “That voice isn’t subtle, is it?”
Rough shook his head and asked, “You heard what he was saying, didn’t you?”
The mare nodded her head and mumbled, “So…this is my fault, right?”
The weakening stallion shook his head violently and groaned, “No way! You can’t blame yourself! There’s nopony to blame except for the guy that sent us here…”
The demon let out another violent roar. The two ponies turned to see it draw its hoof back once more. With a sigh, Rough readied himself for the attack that would surely end him and his lover. The hoof went flying, shattering the blocks at the top of the tower, which started a chain reaction that sent every block below them tumbling into the dark void.
Even as they fell to their deaths at the hooves of whatever waited at the bottom of the void, Rough refused to let go of Sugar’s hoof…
“You were a fool. You could’ve easily saved yourself and been free from this prison. But no, you had to try and save a woman that was simply wasting any potential you truly had. You were a complete idiot, one of the few I can safely say I do not regret killing in this place. I can’t begin to understand your reasoning, but then again, I don’t need to. ‘Rough Charger and Sugar Heart died together in blissful romance’…I can already hear the obituaries…”
“Love without return is like a question without an answer.” --Unknown
“Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law. It must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration” --D.H. Lawrence
*A/N: This is the official end of the Cathedral Chapters. Big Macintosh and Doctor Whooves will be explained in the next chapter of the story. I hope you enjoy. Also, the two quotes I've used here are for the sake of covering all the Cathedral chapters, not just this one.*
“I’ll be honest with the both of you… Thomas has no reason to send you here. Your nightmares have been unnecessary. For no other reason than his own convoluted opinions he sent you in here. Wake up, I’m sending you back.”
Night 5, Cathedral
“What in tarnation? Any reason ya knocked us out like that?” Big Mac squirmed on the cold ground of the dark void as he slowly regained consciousness. His head was pounding from the impact of hitting the hard wood floor of the bar.
Another stallion beside him rolled over and sat upright. He groaned, “I concur, Big Mac. We’re going to be sore in the morning, eh?” Doctor Whooves stretched the arm that he had landed on and flinched at the sharp pain in his shoulder.
The two stallions shared confused looks as they realized they were both in the same dark void. Big Mac looked around to find the seven other doors in the distance, five of which were hung wide open. He chuckled as he realized they were in the nightmares again.
Doctor sighed, “So we have to climb again, huh? The voice said tonight was the end, right?” He stood up to his hooves and shook the dizziness from his brain.
The red stallion lifted himself from the ground and chuckled, “I’m guessin’ that’s about right. Well, we oughta get started.” He started toward the large door beside them.
The mysterious voice called to them, “Ha! I can’t even tell why you’re both here. I mean, you’ve done nothing wrong. So what if you have no intention of settling down with your current courtesans? Neither do they…” The voice sounded slightly annoyed.
Big Mac raised an eyebrow and asked, “Whatcha mean, Mr. Voice? Who ain’t got no plans of settling down?”
“Macintosh, your lover is Catherine. Of course she has no interest in being with you forever. And Doctor, the same goes for you. That Pegasus friend of yours doesn’t plan on settling down. As far as I’m concerned, neither of you have done anything wrong as far as hindering the growth of society is concerned.”
Doctor scoffed, “How kind of you to finally realize that, Astaroth. Now what are we supposed to do here?” He rolled his eyes and approached the door.
“I suppose I’ll send you back to your world. I have no reason to make you climb the tower. Say hello to Thomas for me, will you?”
Night 5, Stray Stallion- 3:16am
The door opened wide and let the white light pour into the void. The two stallions entered through the doorway and felt the cold air around them give way to warmth. When the light faded, they were lying stretched out in one of the booths of the Stray Stallion. They adjusted in the booth and took in their surroundings.
An overly-excited voice greeted them, “Nice to see you guys awake so soon! I take it the Cathedral was a piece of cake?” Lightning waved a hoof in greeting before chugging the rest of the beverage in his other hoof. He and Octavia were sitting on the barstools beside Boss, waiting for everypony to wake up.
Doctor shook his head and groaned, “Not sure. We didn’t have to climb it…”
Boss responded with an indignant gasp, “What do you mean you didn’t have to climb it?! How could you possibly be awake without doing so?” He adjusted his shades and set a bottle of whisky on the counter beside Lightning’s empty mug.
Big Mac chuckled as he sat upright in the booth, “Mr. Astaroth ain’t got a reason for us to climb, so he let us go home.” He stood up from the booth and stretched, trying to get fully awake.
Doctor walked lazily to the counter and took a seat beside Lightning. He sighed, “I’m going to assume that the Cathedral has a special twist to it, right? So what is it?” He rested his head on his hooves in a worn-out fashion.
Octavia giggled, “Turns out that the stallions who have to climb the Cathedral have to help their special pony up with them.” She thought about how romantic such a notion must be. She didn’t know, however, that she was dead wrong on the whole ‘romance’ theory.
Big Mac chuckled, “Eeyup, sure sounds like a mighty fine way to spend a nightmare. So how long have we been out for?” He walked over to the counter and sat on the barstool beside Doctor.
Boss pulled two mugs from behind him and popped open a bottle of Sweet Apple Acres Super Sizzling Spicy Cider. He poured the two mugs to the brim and handed them to the new stallions. He sighed, “It seems Astaroth doesn’t want me to win at all anymore. He let you two go free without a trial of any sort. The same cannot be said for your friends over there.” He waved a hoof in the direction of the five unconscious stallions still resting in the booths.
Lightning cheered, “Oh well, they’ll be fine! They survived the last few nights, so tonight can’t be much worse!” He chugged down his newly-refilled mug of whisky before turning back toward his fellow guards. He added, “At least I hope so, anyway…”
Big Mac reached around the other Ponyville pony and placed a hoof on the guard’s shoulder. He chuckled, “Now don’t you be worryin’ about none of them, fella. They’re tough. They ain’t gonna die on the last night.” He took a swig of his mug of cider.
The five of them sat there for a few minutes and just talked about the nightmares. Big Mac explained everything he’d been through during the last few nights. He tried to paint a clear picture for Octavia and Lightning to grasp, but he wasn’t sure if he was doing it right. After about an hour of describing the nightmares to the ponies, a familiar voice called from the corner of the bar…
Night 5, Stray Stallion- 4:34am
The sophisticated and suave voice called out, “Well, that was a fun endeavor…”
Boss called back, “How nice of you to join us in the real world, Mr. Fancypants. Would you care for a drink?” He poured another mug of cider and placed it in front of an empty barstool.
The rich stallion rolled out of the booth and stretched his tired limbs. He stumbled over to the stool and took a seat, chugging the cider without hesitation. He groaned, “What a climb… I daresay I won’t be forgetting that tower anytime soon…”
Big Mac chuckled, “Did ya learn whatever Mr. Astaroth was tellin’ ya to?”
Fancypants nodded and sighed, “I certainly did. It’s amazing, really. Even though she knew I was an unfaithful jerk, she still stopped to save my life. Perhaps I should at least try my hoof at a true romance…” He looked back at the other two stray stallions. “I venture a guess that your Cathedrals went well, then?” he asked.
Lightning laughed, “The lucky bastards didn’t have to climb it!”
The rich pony raised an eyebrow and said, “I see. I suppose not wanting to settle down with a pony that doesn’t want to does not quite count as a crime, right?”
The red stallion cheered, “Not enough to matter much to Mr. Astaroth. He ain’t a bad fella, he’s just doin’ what he thinks is right…”
“That still doesn’t make it right, Big Mac!” Octavia butted in. She continued, “Killing is killing, no matter the reason. It’s not right at all.”
“Oh please, Miss Octavia! Are you really going to start preaching about the rights and wrongs of murder and morality?” Boss poured a small mug of whisky and gulped it down. He looked at the five ponies sitting in front of him and scoffed, “Let’s be honest here, are any of us actually innocent and pure?”
The sudden change of topic threw most of the patrons off guard. Fancypants sighed, “Though none of us may be pure, I assure you that the crimes we commit don’t begin to compare to the evils you and Astaroth have done.” He slapped his hoof on the counter with an angry flame in his eyes.
Boss refilled the rich pony’s glass with cider and chuckled, “How do you figure, Fancypants? What makes one crime worse than another? Is our murdering of lecherous men truly any worse than your using of women? Is our murder more heinous than Armor’s cheating? Does one sin weigh heavier than all others?” He adjusted his shades and refilled his own mug of whisky.
The tensions began to evidently rise between the two stallions. Fancypants scoffed, “Of course murder is worse than cheating! How could you possibly think it is not? No matter what comes of cheating, at least the victim still holds its life!”
“Ha! What Astaroth and I do is a very important part of society, Fancypants. We simply root out the unfaithful scum and allow their victims to have the chance of being free and prospering. There are many people I’ve judged that wouldn’t have come to be if I had not judged a misleading lecher within their previous generations. Perhaps not in this world, but in my old world…” Boss leaned back against the shelves of alcohol and bowed his head. He lost himself in thought of events of the past centuries and games he’d played.
Just as Fancypants was about to continue arguing with the old stallion, a groan echoed from the back of the bar…
Night 5, Stray Stallion- 4:56am
The shaky and sorrowful voice of Mr. Rich bounced around the mostly-empty building. He screamed as he jolted awake, “Diamond!” Five of the six ponies at the counter shared confused looks. Boss simply adjusted his shades once more and turned away from the approaching angry stallion.
Fancypants cheered, “Hoorah, the second stray joins the flock!” He attempted to slap a hoof onto his friend’s back, but the stallion stormed right up to the counter and slammed both hooves down with force.
Anger overwhelmed his voice as he addressed Boss, “You sorry bastard! How dare you?!” He lurched over the counter and gripped the back of the collar of Boss’s shirt. The other five ponies darted away from the counter with haste, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire of whatever was about to go down.
Boss choked as he was yanked from the shelves to the counter, “What in Equestria are you doing?!” He tried to struggle out of Mr. Rich’s grip, but the stallion’s anger gave him an advantage.
The fire in his eyes burned as he shook the older stallion violently. He shouted through clenched teeth, “You took my daughter, you sorry son of a bitch!” A single hoof released the bartender’s collar and went flying at his face.
Boss flinched as the hoof stopped suddenly in the middle of the punch. A large olive-colored hoof wrapped around the assaulting one…
Day 6, Stray Stallion- 5:00am
The angry voice of Mr. Rich greeted Brawny as he slowly awoke from the nightmare. In an instant, his brain kicked into action. He opened his eyes and leaped from his booth, knowing exactly where the angry outburst was going. Just in the nick of time, he managed to reach the assaulting pony and grasp the flying hoof before it made contact with the victim’s face. Of course, the word ‘victim’ was subjective in that case.
Brawny groaned through his adrenaline-pumped drowsiness, “The hell’s wrong with you, man?! This won’t get you anywhere!” He managed to pull the angry stallion away from the old barkeep.
Boss stood up tall and flattened out his suit before chuckling, “I must thank you, Mr. Brawny. If you hadn’t shown up, I might have had a black eye in a few hours.” He readjusted his shades again before taking a small bow.
The buff soldier scoffed, “I didn’t save you because I wanted to. I saved you ‘cause I don’t wanna arrest this fella.” He shoved Mr. Rich toward the wall where a chair was resting, prompting the angry stallion to sit and resist the urge to charge the counter again.
Lightning scratched his mane and chuckled sheepishly, “So uh…Mr. Rich…what was that all about?” He was met with an angry glare that seemed to say ‘fuck off’.
The businesspony then turned his glare toward Boss. He sighed, “That bastard killed my daughter… At least in the nightmare…”
This was met with a round of gasps from the six ponies that weren’t already aware of the news. Boss simply stood like a pillar in a hallway and kept a relatively composed posture. He said bluntly, “You needed to learn your lesson, Mr. Rich. If losing your daughter was the only way to teach you, then it needed to be done. I should tell you that you didn’t simply lose her in the nightmare. No, anypony that dies in the tower dies in reality as well.”
It took several seconds for this news to click in the patrons’ brains. All of them let out horrified gasps at what Boss meant. Mr. Rich simply shook his head and let tears swell in his eyes. He’d been prepared to hear that from the moment he’d let go of his daughter’s hoof. He knew the pain felt too real to just be a dream.
Octavia choked, “Y-you’re joking, right Boss? That’s not true, is it?” The businesspony stood up from his chair and let out a sigh.
He groaned, “Of course it is. Because of this bastard and his ‘game’, my daughter is dead!” He started to charge at the counter again, but an agonized scream caused him to spin around to face the booths.
Day 6, Stray Stallion- 5:07am
The white guardpony squirmed and thrashed around in his booth. His jaw stretched open wide and his eyes began to bulge. The pony’s vocal cords formed the most gut-wrenching scream imaginable as his coat began to fade and his skin began to thin. His eyes became a bloodshot color as the horrifying scream faded away. The last sound to escape the dying pony’s lips was, “Sugar…” With that, his muscles relaxed and his breath left him.
Rough Charger died right in front of Brawny and Lightning, a turn of events that sent shivers down both soldiers’ spines. They were left speechless by the horrifying spasms they’d just witnessed their friend go through.
Octavia slowly approached his body, tears in her eyes. She stammered, “I-is he...d-dead?” The ponies turned back toward Boss.
The old stallion’s eyes shined a bright crimson for a brief instant before his lips curled into a smile. He chuckled, “Why, I do believe he is. Poor guy, really. He died because his lover was an unfaithful bitch. Too bad.”
Something in Brawny’s head snapped. He charged the counter and gripped Boss’s collar in a similar—albeit a bit more threatening—fashion as Mr. Rich. He screamed, “That was my friend, you bastard! What the hell is wrong with you?!”
Doctor placed a hoof on the angry soldier’s shoulder and sighed, “Brawny, you mustn’t let your anger get the best of you. I would imagine Mr. Rich has it much harder, but he seems to be handling things a bit better…” He was met with Brawny’s angry glare.
The new aggressor loosened his grip and scoffed, “You ain’t even worth it, old man!” He shoved Boss against the shelves hard enough to shatter several bottles of alcohol.
Big Mac looked back and forth from Boss to Rough several times. He thought for a few seconds before asking, “If Mr. Rough didn’t make it outta the nightmare, does that mean his lady friend didn’t make it?”
This realization poured over everypony like a landslide. Not only had Rough lost his life on his tower, but his lover may have passed away as well. Prompted by everypony’s angry glares, Boss simply nodded in confirmation of Big Mac’s assumption before pouring himself a glass of whisky and ignoring the alcohol running down his shelves.
Nopony spoke another word for several minutes. Three ponies had lost their lives in the course of a single night. Two of whom were close to three of the current conscious patrons. It wasn’t until the final stallion began to stir that any of them spoke up.
Day 6, Stray Stallion- 5:13am
Rain opened his eyes hesitantly, half expecting to find himself still in the nightmare, the entirety of his climb with Cloud just a figment of his active imagination. To his relief, his eyes came into focus with Lightning hovering above him. At least, it was relief for a few brief seconds before he fully registered that it was Lightning.
He jerked upright and shoved his fellow guard away from him with force. He gasped, “What the hell’s wrong with you? Are you trying to scare me to death?”
Lightning chuckled, “S-sorry! I was just checking to make sure you were still kicking, that’s all!” He turned his head toward Rough’s corpse.
Rain looked at his friend lying lifeless in the booth next to him. He shook his head and sighed, “Rough…I never thought you’d be one to lose a game of wits…” The half-asleep stallion turned his attention toward Boss.
The suited stallion behind the counter chuckled, “What, do you want to be the next one to assault me? It seems to be quite popular tonight.” He maintained the smile he had adopted upon Rough’s painful death as he chugged his glass of alcohol.
Octavia took a seat in the booth across from the counter and rested her head in her hooves. She sighed, “This is horrible… Why’d all this have to happen?” She looked up at Boss with sadness in her eyes.
The judging stallion adjusted his shades and sighed, “Of the thirty ponies I’ve judged over the course of this week, I’ve enjoyed watching you all squirm the most. If only Armor were here to share this sorrowful occasion.” A wide smile slid across his face as he resisted the urge to burst into laughter.
A bell jingled from the front of the bar, and Boss’s smile quickly twisted into a frown. It wasn’t a frown of sadness, but a frown of worry.
Day 6, Stray Stallion- 5:20am
“Be careful what you wish for, Boss!” The tall white unicorn stomped into the bar, followed by his pink alicorn lover.
Everypony in the bar excluding Boss leaped to their hooves and cheered as Shining Armor charged his way to the counter. Brawny was the first to greet the guard captain with, “Good morning, Captain! Glad to see you’re still alive!” He placed a hoof on Armor’s shoulder and let out a genuine laugh.
“It’s wonderful to see you all okay too…” The white stallion had a determined look on his face as he turned toward Boss. He said, “Alright Boss, it’s time you explained everything! I want to hear every last detail about all this shit that’s been happening!”
Boss decided it was best not to test Armor’s patience. Of all the stallions in the bar, he feared Armor’s anger more than any of the rest. The petty threats of the other two assailants were nothing compared to what he imagined the guard captain would do. He explained everything to the ponies.
He told of his climb up the Empireo and his wish for eternal life. He explained how Astaroth chose him to help judge the rest of the men, and how he started making towers for the judgments. He explained how Vincent had beaten him a mere month ago and stopped the judgments of that century for Earth. He explained how he had obtained help from the king of the demon world, Nergal, to become a pony and move to Equestria to start judging the unfaithful stallions.
He explained why he did it, how he decided who to judge, and the role Catherine played in all of it. He took the time to explain that Catherine wasn’t a real being, and instead just a succubus from the demon world that liked to seduce men and ruin their relationships. She also just liked to have a good time outside of actual work. This news relieved Armor as Cadence seemed to accept the ‘not a real pony’ bit. The other stallions seemed a bit disturbed by the news, but they held their tongues as Boss continued.
The old stallion proceeded to tell about how he had made the towers so that the pony anatomy would have a chance to climb them with a bit of struggle, and how he’d regretfully underestimated the stallions’ climbing abilities. He ended his explanation with the sad news of the three ponies that had been lost that night.
Armor sat beside Rough’s corpse and whispered a silent prayer for his fallen friend. He also stopped to discuss a few things with Mr. Rich in secrecy. The rest of the ponies sat around and discussed the events of the last few days, and the fates shared by so many innocent stallions during the nightmares.
Their discussion was cut short when Mr. Rich pulled up a chair beside their booth and sat down with a worried expression on his face. He muttered under his breath, “I hope he knows what he’s doing…” before turning to watch Armor and Boss’s interaction.
Everypony fell silent as the guard captain addressed the bartender. “Last night was the Cathedral. It was the final floor of the nightmares, right?” The smug unicorn sat on the barstool closest to Boss.
The old stallion raised an eyebrow before answering, “Yes. Last night was the last nightmare you’ll have to endure. Why do you ask?” He adjusted his shades and glanced at the ponies staring in his direction.
Armor slapped a hoof to the counter and laughed, “So on the very last night, I’ve lost one of my closest friends and his marefriend. Filthy Rich lost his own daughter, a fact that should probably have provoked him to kill you on the spot. Celestia knows that if it’d been my daughter, you sure as hell wouldn’t be breathing right now…” He lifted the small cup of sake Boss had poured for him and gulped it down.
The barkeep grinned and said, “That’s correct. Rough Charger, Sugar Heart, and Diamond Tiara died last night. And I was fairly certain Mr. Rich was about to beat me up, until Brawny intervened.” He refilled the stallion’s sake cup before pouring his own glass of whisky.
Armor chuckled, “So let me get something straight. The Cathedral is where you get true freedom, meaning you finally learn what you really want and need. But there’s one more floor that lets you get any wish you want, right?” He grinned slyly at the stallion behind the counter.
Cadence leaped up from the booth and asked, “You can’t be serious Armor! Why would you want to go back to that place?” She took a few steps toward her lover before Brawny’s hoof caught her shoulder.
Armor turned to face the ponies in the booth. The six surviving stallions he had climbed with, the single innocent guard, Octavia, and his lover were all staring at him with concerned expressions. Boss groaned, “You are correct. The Empireo will grant the wish of anyone who reaches the top. However, that is no small feat…”
The smug stallion gulped down his new cup of sake and chuckled, “It’ll grant any wish, right?” He diverted his gaze from the eyes of everypony in the bar.
Boss hesitated before sighing, “Yes…any wish the climber wants…”
Armor slammed a hoof down hard on the counter and cheered, “It’s settled then! I’m climbing the Empireo tonight!” The ponies gathered in the bar let out a collective gasp of shock and uncertainty at his words.
Rain coughed as he choked on his gulp of whisky, “You’re insane, Captain! You can’t be serious about this!”
Boss’s face twisted in fear of the stallion’s challenge. He suddenly had a foreboding feeling in his gut telling him that this would end identical to his battle with Vincent. He would be beaten by Armor’s determination to carry on and set everything right, which would end in his expulsion from Equestria by Nergal and Astaroth. All this played through his mind in a single instant before he returned to the current situation.
He sighed, “Are you certain you wish to challenge me Shining Armor? I assure you that this final floor will be unlike anything you’ve faced before in the nightmares. I will not hold back any of my resources simply so you can get your wish.” He cleared his throat and removed his shades, revealing their crimson glow to the group of bar patrons.
Most of them jumped at the disturbing sight of Boss’s eyes. It’s not often you see a pony with pure crimson eyes in the peaceful world of Equestria…
Armor laughed, “You bet your sorry ass I’m ready to climb! And when I reach the top and get my wish, everything’s going to be perfectly fine! None of you have anything to worry about!” He smiled at all of his concerned friends. His expression was a reassurance that he had no intentions of losing to the bastard that had taken the lives of so many ponies.
Cadence moaned, “But Armor, it’s too dangerous! I don’t want to-!” She began to complain, but a gentle hoof to her muzzle stopped her short.
The white stallion looked at her with fire in his eyes. He said, “I’m not doing this for myself, Cadence. As soon as I wake up tomorrow, all of us can put this whole thing behind us. When we wake up tomorrow, everything will be right again…” He touched his horn to hers and closed his eyes. He whispered to her, “And then we can work on moving forward, okay?”
Boss chuckled, “How touching of a moment. I’m afraid that you’re self-proclaimed noble intentions are going to lead to your downfall, mule. I have no intentions of losing twice in a row to two over-zealous idiots. If you wish to climb the Empireo, then I will have no choice but to end you once and for all.” He chugged his glass of whisky and slammed the mug onto the counter. Even in the crimson glow, everypony could see the arrogance in the old stallion’s eyes.
The confident stallion sighed, “You swear that I’ll get my wish, right? You aren’t going to cheat me out of it with some of your dickheaded antics, are you?” He pointed a challenging hoof at Boss.
The demonic stallion simply grinned and nodded in reply. He poured one last glass of whisky before walking out of the room. He had preparations to make for the following night.
The rest of the ponies sat in awe at Armor’s bravery in challenging Boss to one final climb up the towers. They shared drink after drink as the day went by. Nopony came to the bar during the day. In fact, there was an air of depression looming about the bar. Mr. Rich left early to return to his hotel room and explain everything to his wife. Brawny and Rain carried Rough’s corpse back to the castle to explain the situation to Princess Celestia, though they weren’t sure she would believe their claims.
Fancypants returned to his home at around noon to recover from the torments of the previous nights’ nightmares. Lightning eventually returned to the barracks to catch some sleep, considering he had been awake the entire night. Octavia did the same, saying her concerned goodbyes to the still-confident guard captain. Big Mac and Doctor stuck around for a while to discuss some things with Armor, but decided to leave at around sunset. They were just as tired as everypony else.
Shining Armor and Princess Cadance were left alone in the bar. Boss had seemingly disappeared, as they had checked the room he entered when he left the counter to find it empty. They helped themselves to food and drink as they discussed the actions needed to be taken in the future. They discussed what they would do once everything was over; assuming Armor survived the following night’s climb.
After the moon had risen in the sky, the two decided it best to return to the castle and go to sleep. After all, the sooner they passed out, the sooner the nightmare would end. Armor drifted off into a numb stupor before letting sleep grab hold of him. His mind pondered the different outcomes of tonight’s climb. If he failed, everypony would remain unhappy. But if he survived, there was a chance he could fix all of their problems…
He drifted off to sleep to let the nightmare take hold. He was going to give everything he had to put Boss in his place…
“He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.” --Napoleon Bonaparte
Armor happily regained consciousness as the cold void swallowed him up. He lifted himself to his hooves, stretched enthusiastically, and yawned as he approached the large purple door in front of him. He wasn’t going to waste any time with this wretched trial. It was time to end it once and for all.
Astaroth called to him with an excited tone, “Are you truly ready for tonight’s climb? It consists of three towers and the final showdown with Thomas.”
“Bring it on! Tell that old bastard to bring his A-game!” Armor shook a confident hoof at the thought of racing Boss up one of the towers.
“I should warn you that tonight will be introducing several new traps for you to conquer. The first of which being the black-hole blocks.”
“Black-hole block? Sounds dangerous enough…”
“It sucks in anything that touches it and destroys it. Blocks, stallions, and items all get swallowed by the vortex. I would advise avoiding it. Another trap for tonight is the special mystery block. You won’t know what’s inside until you step on it, so be prepared to hightail it out of the way.” Astaroth chuckled lightheartedly.
“Got it. Touch and run.” Armor nodded hesitantly.
“The last new block to watch out for is the bomb block. Once you step on it, it starts a countdown before it blows up. It’ll kill anything and crack any block within the blast radius. Get out of the way once one starts ticking.”
“Right!” Despite the new traps, Armor still felt confident in his ability to climb the tower successfully.
“Good luck, Armor. Perhaps you can put Thomas in his place for a second time. I’ll be waiting for your wish at the top of the towers. I’ll also be waiting on the landings to ask you about your motives.”
“You better get ready to grant my wish, Astaroth! When I kick Boss’s ass, you’d better pay up!” Armor shoved the door in front of him open and stomped through with an air of confidence.
The Empireo- Floor One
Once the bright light faded, Armor found himself standing on a particularly bright tower of blocks. All around the tower, large marble walls reached upwards, glowing brighter as they neared the top of the tower. Golden light shined down from above, and thin yellow clouds seemed to shroud the outer walls. Almost as soon as he finished taking in his surroundings the tower shook violently. A row of blocks fell out from the bottom of the tower, prompting the stallion to start the climb upward.
There were no tricks for the first dozen steps. A pull here and push there was all that needed to be done on occasion. It was after that first stretch when things began to get tougher. Armor found himself faced with a wall of blocks covered with curtains.
“These are the mysteries, aren’t they?” He scanned the wall thoughtfully. It wasn’t the first time he had been faced will a wall in this fashion. The only difference was that these blocks could be anything.
After another tremble, he silenced his thoughts and began pulling the blocks out like a normal staircase. Climbing up his first step, the curtain fell from the block to reveal a single normal block. He ran across the rest of the newly-formed row in an attempt to disarm any traps. To his relief, only a few were spikes traps, which he easily avoided. The remainder was normal. He repeated this process as he built his staircase up the tall wall. A few spike traps and dark blocks were revealed, but nothing he couldn’t work with.
After finally reaching the top of the wall, he stopped to examine the heights of the tower. Another wall of mystery blocks with a few glowing blocks here and there met his vision. He assumed that those were the bombs Astaroth had mentioned, and so decided to work his steps in a fashion to avoid a majority of the blue glows.
Of course, with the sheer number of bombs, it was impossible to avoid them all. In his haste to escape the blast of one particular bomb, he had allowed a vital step in his staircase to crumble and trap him with no way to pull out any other blocks. This left him with few options to choose from.
Until he suddenly remembered the stopwatch Astaroth had given him a few nights back. He immediately reached his hoof out and willed the stopwatch to him. It appeared in a flash of blue light in his hoof, causing him to flinch in surprise. He clicked the button at the top of the watch and was sent back to the step before he had last pulled a block out of the wall. The bomb was still ticking, but hadn’t yet blown up. He pushed the button again to find himself just before pulling the bomb’s block out.
“This thing kicks ass! Thanks Astaroth!” he cheered into the void.
He pulled the block out again and hoped that the mystery blocks would change into something more useful between redoes. After activating the bomb and running to the other side to pull his first new step out, he decided to give the new block a test step. To his own shock, the block launched him almost five steps up. In a last-minute decision, he latched onto the ledge in front of him and climbed up. He stared down at the block that had shot him upward before turning his attention toward the ringing noise above him.
Three steps were left between him and the golden block. He quickly pulled blocks to form his stairs and yanked the golden rope down once more. Blocks fell beside him, and Armor hurried up to the safety of the landing.
In an instant, the yellow clouds dispersed to reveal windows in each row of the outer wall. Golden sunlight poured into the Empireo and the eerie cold faded and gave way to comforting warmth. The stallion sat down on a small pew in the middle of the landing and caught his breath.
He chuckled, “Won’t be long now, Boss. Just one more tower, then it’s you versus me!” He clapped his hooves together as he realized the end was quickly approaching.
“You’ve done decent enough, Shining Armor. But don’t expect the next two trials to be easy picking. I promise you will not make a fool of me like Vincent did! I’m not going to hold back in stopping you!” Boss’s voice echoed around him, causing him to thrash wildly in search of the source.
He groaned, “Oh yeah? Like I said, you better bring your A-game! I’m not losing tonight!”
With an air of arrogance, the stallion hopped from the pew and stomped toward the confessional. He pulled the curtain back and plopped down on the small bench. He sighed once as the curtain closed and Astaroth began to speak.
“You’ve come far, Armor. I’m glad to see you still alive, even here at the end. You should not underestimate Thomas’s desperation in stopping you from winning.” The deity’s voice had a slight tone of worry hidden deep within it. It was subtle, but Armor could still hear it.
The stallion scoffed, “You don’t have to worry about me, Astaroth. After tonight, everything will be back to normal.” He raised a reassuring hoof into the air.
“Thomas is not going to go easy on you. And unlike your previous trials, I won’t be sending you help when you’re in a pinch. You’ll be working with your own wits and resources. The stopwatch and mystic pillows are your only allies tonight.”
A faint blue glow emanated from the stallion’s chest. An image of a pillow appeared printed on his coat. Stamped inside the pillow was the number two. He chuckled, “I’ll keep that in mind. But tonight’s the end of this shit; I’ll make sure of that!”
“This is still a confessional. I have to ask you a question before I can let you move on.”
“Bring it.” Armor clapped his hooves in impatience.
“Are you truly prepared to sacrifice yourself in an attempt to revive the fallen stray stallions?” Two ropes fell beside him, one golden and the other gray.
He gripped the golden rope and yanked it fiercely. “Of course I am! The only reason I’m climbing tonight is to undo all the damage that bastard’s caused!”
Astaroth burst into laughter for a few moments before regaining his composure. “You remind me more of Vincent with every statement you make. He was a stubborn and determined sheep, just like you. He climbed the Empireo in an attempt to regain the love of his former lover, who he cheated on with Catherine. He climbed for a selfish reason, all for his own gain. You are not, are you?”
“I already told you, I’m climbing for my friends and the other innocent ponies he killed.” Armor’s face twisted in annoyance at the constant rambling.
“I wonder… Will your motives remain uncorrupted as you reach your wish? To have anything your heart could desire is a tremendous privilege. Would you really waste it on reviving the lecherous ponies who’ve been judged?”
Armor stomped a hoof on the wooden floor of the confessional. He shouted, “What the hell else would I use it on? I have everything I need! I have a beautiful lover, loyal friends, and the best damn drinking pals a stallion could ask for! What more do I need?”
“Your temper is short tonight, isn’t it? Is the pressure of the approaching showdown wearing on your nerves?” Astaroth chuckled smugly.
“Just send me up, Astaroth! I wanna get this over with so I can wake up and see everyone!” The stallion sat back against the wall as the confessional lifted into the air.
Astaroth remained silent as the booth rocketed up to the next tower and booted Armor from it.
The Empireo- Floor Two
Armor looked around the tower to note any changes between the current and prior ones. There were significantly less mystery blocks, replaced instead by blank space and eerie purple vortexes. The wary stallion assumed they were the black-hole blocks Astaroth had informed him about earlier in the nightmare. Before he could truly appreciate the power of the traps, a loud grunting noise rang out from the dark expanse below him.
“You just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you? You are perhaps the most stubborn mule I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting. Second only to Vincent Brooks.” A large brown recliner chair suddenly materialized from the emptiness below, followed by a tall lean figure resembling Boss.
Except, this figure didn’t have hooves or a muzzle. Instead it had hands and feet and a comparatively flat face. The white suit it was adorned in was identical to Boss’s, with the addition of a pair of pants to match it. Brown suede shoes covered the figure’s feet, and a pair of sunglasses adorned its eyes. The head of hair was identical in color to Boss’s mane.
The stallion coughed, “What the hell are you supposed to be?!” He pointed a confused hoof at the relaxed figure as it floated up the tower to his level.
The figure boomed, “My dear sweet pony, I am a human. This is my true form, by the way. I am Thomas Mutton, the judge of men and creator of trials. Tonight, I will be throwing my ‘A-game’ at you. You shall not make a fool of me like Vincent did those several weeks ago.”
With a snap of Thomas’s fingers, a small magnum materialized in one hand and a gavel in the other. He slammed the hammer on the arm of his chair and laughed as the blocks below Armor’s current level instantly crumbled to dust. He then aimed his laser-guided gun to a block on the far edge of the row and fired, causing the block to shatter to pieces and fall into the void.
“Oh man…this isn’t good…” Armor swallowed the lump in his throat and climbed a few rows of blocks. He turned to Thomas with a wide grin.
The human had no idea what to make of the stallion’s smile. He groaned, “What the hell are you smiling about?! Have you not realized that this tower will be the end of you? After all, before the night ends, you shall be dining on my Mutton Special!” He held the magnum high in the air and twirled it around his index finger.
“You gotta get your sights locked first, you old bastard!” Armor immediately pulled a block from the wall and climbed up to the next row of blocks.
The two passed petty insults and useless jargon back and forth for several minutes as Armor climbed the tower of traps and tricks. Dodging the occasional bullet from Thomas’s gun and an overenthusiastic kick here and there, the stallion made decent progress up the tower. Climbing this tower was no different than any other. The only challenge was avoiding both the human’s attacks and the black-hole blocks. Bombs, spikes, and immovable blocks were all easily manipulated to allow for easy climbing.
Over half way up the tower, the demonic human decided to step up his pace, and increased the frequency of his attacks. Just as Armor touched one of Astaroth’s checkpoints, the angry man sent his gavel down hard on his chair. In the instant, every block above Armor’s position mutated into immovable blocks. This of course made building steps upward completely impossible.
“…and we change here…” Thomas chuckled as he lifted up to Armor’s level of the tower. “Too bad, if only you had collected that precious bell a few levels down. Perhaps you could survive this tower with its help.”
Armor immediately remembered the power to undo his moves. If it reset the position of every block, maybe it could reset the type of block as well. He had to try at any rate, and so willed the watch into his hooves and quickly pushed the button, just as Thomas pulled the trigger on his gun.
To the stallion’s relief, everything reset one move back. The checkpoint regenerated, and all the mutated blocks returned to their original types. Armor pushed his block and climbed up to the checkpoint for a second time. He immediately started building his stairs up.
Thomas was thrown completely off guard. He felt slightly nauseous at being cast back in time instantaneously like that. He groaned, “What kind of magic was that, you mule?! I thought unicorn magic was nullified in this dimension!”
As he continued to build his stairs, Armor snorted, “Your good buddy Astaroth gave me that power. Pretty nifty, ain’t it?” This statement cast the pursuer into enough thought to allow the stallion to finish his new stairs.
The human jerked back to the current situation as Armor approached the golden block at the top of the tower. For a single instant, he felt a deep pit fall out of his gut, and immediately began cursing himself for his ignorant carelessness. In one last ditch effort, the judge sent a wild kick right for Armor’s body. The result of this offense was just a few shattered blocks, while the pestering stallion bounced joyfully on top of the highest point in the tower.
“Looks like you lose this round, Thomas!” Armor beamed a toothy smile at his opponent as he yanked the rope with all his might. As the stairs to the next landing fell, an invisible force wrapped around the human and sent him plummeting into the dark expanse.
His voice lingered behind as he screamed, “Damn you, you rotten mule! This isn’t over yet!”
Armor chuckled to himself as he traversed the particularly small landing and plopped down on a metal chair at the center. The confessional seemingly called for him to enter, but he needed to regain his strength before trying the final trial.
“You haven’t won, you smug dumbass! I will not be made a fool of! You will not see the light of the real world again!”
Armor dismissed this outburst as a fit of pitiful jealousy. Suddenly, all around him, the windows of the outer walls shattered and began to break away. Before long, the walls were non-existent, and beautiful golden light engulfed the tower. The warmth of the pseudo-sun in the distance energized the confident stallion, and he trotted off into the welcoming booth.
He sat down and sighed, “It’s getting pretty warm out there. I think I’m actually breaking a sweat.” He smiled smugly at the murky glass that represented Astaroth.
The deity chimed in, “It truly is. This is the closest any living mortal can get to heaven, you know. This final tower is the end of the road, both for you and me. This is the final confrontation, Shining Armor. After this, your nightmares end, whether for better or worse. Please don’t disappoint me. I’m looking forward to a spectacular show.”
The stallion rolled his eyes and chuckled, “I’ll see what I can do. I’m not losing, no matter what. Ask me the last question and let me kick his ass.” He readied his hoof for the ropes that were bound to fall in front of him.
“Very well then. Would you enjoy living your life in peace and quiet? Yes or no.” The ropes fell, and the stallion’s hoof moved on its own.
He yanked the golden rope without hesitation. “After all this shit, I’d love nothing more…” he sighed.
“This is the end, Shining Armor. Once you climb this tower, you will become one of the Men of Legend. You’ll be joining the ranks of Vincent Brooks and Thomas Mutton. I’m proud to say I’ve known you had potential all along. My judgment is still as accurate as ever, it seems.”
With those final words, the booth launched up toward the next tower faster than it had ever before. With what he considered Astaroth’s vote of confidence, Armor knew that he wouldn’t lose this battle. No matter the traps and tricks, he wouldn’t let Thomas win.
The Empireo- Final Floor
The golden light seemed to embrace him as he stepped gently out of the confessional. He breathed in the suddenly-fresh air as he readied himself for the climb up this tower. He scanned the blocks for tricks and traps, but all he found were regular white blocks spanning the entire tower. He raised a confused eyebrow as he wondered why there were no special blocks to hinder his progress as there were in the last tower.
At the very top of the tower, a large bell swayed gently back and forth. A calm silver light radiated around it. Just below it, the top of a massive marble door could be seen waiting for the next creature that would open it. Armor nodded happily as he realized he would be that next creature.
A dismayed roar shook the tower horribly as its source burst into existence just beside it. Thomas sat in his chair with an angry glare plastered on his face. He grunted, “I’m giving you this one final chance to surrender, Shining Armor! Give up now and I will send you back to your world for good.”
The stallion shook his head disappointedly. He snickered, “You just don’t learn, do you Mutton? I’m not losing your game. Why the hell would I quit after coming this far? Even your master has faith that I’ll beat you. Face it, you’re about to fail again, just like you did with Vincent. You’re afraid of that, aren’t you?” The stallion tapped his hoof on the ground several times in arrogant confidence.
The angry human slammed his fist onto his chair and groaned, “You’ve been warned, mule! I’m not playing games anymore! There is no holding back for me any longer!”
Thomas lifted both hands high into the air and shook his sunglasses off of his face. His crimson eyes seemed to radiate with evil force, and his muscles began to convulse wildly. He let out a throat-wrenching scream as darkness below reached up and swallowed him whole. For a few moments, Armor was left wondering if Astaroth had put the old man out of his misery.
Before long, a hideous figure burst from the shadows of the expanse. It slightly resembled a head, but it was made up of what appeared to be the dismembered and mutilated corpses of ponies. It had two large crimson eyes, and a functional mouth. It spoke with the bartender’s voice.
“You’ve been a thorn in my side since day one, Shining Armor! But now I’m angry! Prepare yourself for my wrath, mule boy!” A beam of energy poured from one of his eyes and obliterated all of the blocks at the bottom of the tower.
Armor’s eyes widened at the sight of the blast. “Oh shit!” he screamed as he hastily began crafting his stairs up.
The demon with crimson eyes cried out, “My name is Dumuzid the Shepherd, and I shall be your end!”
Armor pulled out all of his wits and techniques to help climb the tower as fast as he possibly could. Dumuzid was hot on his tail the entire time, and the demon judge had many horrendous tricks up his sleeves.
At one point, Armor had just finished building an entire staircase and began his ascent. The demon called out some foreign words before the entirety of the blocks turned into spike traps. Although they were easily avoided, it was unnerving to one minute be standing on a normal block, only to find spikes shooting out the next second. If they could become spike blocks, what else could that strange power do to them?
Dumuzid continued shouting foreign phrases as his eyes shined in different shades and colors. Just about every time Armor would have a puzzle figured out, the demon would make some alteration that upped the risk factor by tenfold. This carried on for several minutes, until the stallion reached a check point roughly half way up the tower.
The shepherd screamed in a deep demonic voice, “Divine punishment, rain down!”
Blocks all around Armor began to flash a bright red color. A large flaming boulder crashed down on the block directly beside the stallion, sending him into a slight state of panic. Each red block was hit in turn by a meteor similar to the first. It took everything he had to not hastily rush into building his new staircases.
To his irritation, he found that every block hit by the meteors became cracked, with very limited uses. This problem was remedied very easily by simply pulling out new blocks on top of the cracked ones, but that mystic power was definitely not safe for continued use.
The demon noticed Armor’s distraught expression and chuckled, “Relax. You’re only going to die!” With that, he released a beam of concentrated energy at the bottom of the tower, disintegrating it very hastily. Armor had limited time to build up before the bottom would fall out, adding the pressures of time limits to his list of worries.
Through it all, he managed to keep his composure. The demon continued his onslaught of attacks, along with several cheap tricks to try and distract the stallion. They were to no avail, as Armor reached a second checkpoint almost all the way at the top of the tower. All that stood between him and the final door was a few steps up and several more onslaughts of Dumuzid’s attacks.
Dumuzid was pissed as he realized how close the end was. He shrieked, “But you’re just a mortal! How can you be winning?!” In obvious desperation, the demon let out everything in his arsenal at the almost-victorious pony.
Lasers charged into the different rows of blocks, destroying random steps as a result. Meteors fell from the heavens to crack the blocks and render them useless. A cloud of purple smoke wrapped around the entirety of the tower around Armor, rendering him unable to see anything outside of it. Blind to both the attacks coming at him and the blocks that awaited him, Armor simply trusted his instincts and continued to climb ever upwards.
Loud roars from Dumuzid continued to unnerve him, but he didn’t hesitate to pull blocks from the walls and reach ever upward toward the landing. Despite the demon shepherd’s massive arsenal of deadly assaults, everything was wasted on the determined stallion. He continued to climb, undaunted by the uncertainty that clouded his every move.
Finally, he reached the top. He scrambled up onto the landing and darted toward to door as one final meteor exploded behind him and smashed the only step connecting the landing to the tower. Dumuzid made one last attempt at seizing victory as the stallion approached the door’s handle.
“This can’t be!” the monster shouted as it unleashed one final laser at the pony.
Armor quickly rolled to the side of the door to avoid the useless attack. He gasped, “This is the end, Mutton. You lose…” The stallion yanked the massive door open with all his might, the purifying white light engulfing the entire landing.
Dumuzid let out one final cry of pain before the light swallowed even the sound around them. “I…I can’t believe it!” No sight or sound was experienced as the blinding white light engulfed the two creatures.
After a minute of euphoric energy, Armor lost his balance and fell on the ground in exhaustion. Once the light finally faded, he found the battered body of a white stallion on the ground a few feet away. The stallion’s suit was ripped to shreds and his shades were cracked. He had blood running from his nose and cuts covering his body.
Armor chuckled, “This was…fun, Boss.”
The older stallion groaned, “You’ve won, Armor. You bested me in my own game…”
The guard captain sighed, “So, I get my wish, right?”
Boss nodded and coughed, “Naturally. Simply think hard about your true wish, and enter the door. Astaroth and I shall cover the rest…” The resentment was overflowing in his hoarse voice.
Armor crawled to his hooves and stumbled toward the older pony. He placed a sore hoof on the bartender’s shoulder and laughed, “How about we catch a drink tomorrow at the bar?”
The beaten man sent an evil glare at the cocky victor. He snarled, “Get the hell out of here, you mule.”
“I’m serious. Let’s put all this behind us with a couple of mugs of whisky. No sense in holding grudges, right?” The stallion’s face radiated with genuine forgiveness.
Boss frowned in confusion. “You would truly forgive me so quickly?”
“Of course. Besides, who else knows how to mix cocktails like you?”
“Your naivety knows no bounds, Mr. Armor. Perhaps I can arrange something of the sort with Astaroth.”
“Good. We’ll talk more then.”
The younger stallion limped painfully into the bright light of the doorway. Its warmth embraced him, and in an instant, he was gone, leaving the defeated god limp on the floor of the landing.
“Congratulations, you lost! But look on the bright side, Dumuzid. At least now you can go back to being a human…” Astaroth chuckled smugly.
“Of course. But, you don’t mind allowing me one final day as a pony, do you? I have to tie up some loose ends…” The stallion frowned and cradled his head in his hooves.
“Certainly. But first we must grant Shining Armor’s wish.”
“What did he wish for, anyway?”
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” –Ambrose Redmoon
A rhythmic rapping on his chamber door greeted Armor as he regained consciousness from the previous night’s trial. His muscles were tense and his bones ached from the stress he had been forced to place on them in the race against Dumuzid. Still, he managed to roll out of his bed and limp to the door.
The moment he unlocked it, it swung wide open and knocked him on his plot. An exasperated stallion charged into the room and quickly slammed the door shut behind him. The stallion directed his attention to the fallen guard captain, but his words were unintelligible in Armor’s tired stupor.
The pink alicorn princess crawled from the bed to try and calm the frantic pony and, upon sitting him down in a small chair and saying a few words, succeeded. The guard captain started to regain his focus, and he was thrust into the middle of a shocking piece of information.
Just as Armor’s head cleared, he caught the butt end of the stallion’s explanation, “…he just got up and started talking! B-but he was dead!” The stallion tapped his hooves nervously together as sweat poured from his face.
Princess Cadence spoke softly, “I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding. Ponies don’t just come back to life. Right Shining?” The alicorn turned her attention to the now-alert stallion.
Armor organized his thoughts and chuckled, “Well…who’re we talking about here?”
The pony in the chair exclaimed, “Rough Charger! He just got up and started talking to me a few minutes ago!”
This information immediately clicked in the guard captain’s brain. He mumbled to himself, “It worked?” He looked up at the two confused ponies and cheered, “It worked! My wish worked! He ain’t a lying bastard after all!” The stallion clapped his hooves and headed straight for the door.
“What’s going on Armor? What are you talking about?” Cadence placed an uncertain hoof on his shoulder.
The white pony chuckled, “I told you everything would be okay after last night!” He turned toward the other stallion and asked, “Where’s Rough now?”
“W-well, he’s still in the castle infirmary. Brawny and Lightning insisted we not bury him, so…” he stammered.
Armor raised a victorious hoof and cheered, “Sweet! If he’s back, then so is everpony else! I gotta go see how he’s doing!”
Without waiting for any questions, Armor darted from the chamber and headed straight for the infirmary, leaving the other two ponies with unanswered questions and shaky nerves.
Day 7- Castle Infirmary, 8:03am
“So wait, I was dead?!” Rough coughed between puffs on a cigarette. He and Armor had been talking for several minutes, waiting for the other guards to show up and for the commotion about his ‘zombification’ to die down.
The over-enthusiastic stallion cheered, “You sure were! You were a mess, too… Not easy on the eyes, if ya catch my drift. But hey, you’re alive now!”
“How’d I die?” The smoker asked bluntly.
Armor was unsure how to answer this question. He placed a hoof to his muzzle and sighed, “I would guess you fell off the Cathedral. You mean you don’t remember?”
The newly-revitalized stallion thought for a second before understanding what his captain meant. He chuckled, “Oh yeah, that nightmare tower thing. Wait, if I died in there, does that mean Sugar died too?” Worry suddenly washed over his face at the thought of his lover dying.
“She did, according to Boss. But if you’re alive, then so is she. And Mr. Rich’s daughter should be alive too.” Armor placed a reassuring hoof on his friend’s shoulder.
“Based on all the commotion in town, I’d say you’re right Captain.” Rain stomped into the room and plopped down on one of the vacant medical beds. He stretched happily and yawned, “Man, last night was the first good sleep in a week.”
“Yep, compared to the other night, last night was peaceful.” Brawny followed suit, taking a seat on another vacant bed. He scratched his mane in uncertainty at the current situation.
Rough laughed, “It must be awkward talking to a dead friend, right? So how many ponies came back to life?” He tried to think of all the stallions he had seen in the nightmares the first night he entered.
Armor tapped his hooves thoughtfully and said, “No clue. Dozens, hundreds maybe. But if Boss owned up to his end of the deal, they should all be alive now.”
The youngest of the group of guards entered the room and groaned, “What about the ponies that’ve been dead since day one? Isn’t that just a little bit messed up?” Lightning placed a welcoming hoof on top of Rough’s head, which was met with an angry glare.
“I’m sure it’s fine. Once everypony stops freaking out and accepts that their loved ones are alive, they’ll calm down.” Armor waved a dismissive hoof at the young guard before turning his attention to something a bit more important. “I think we should head to the Stray Stallion tonight. Bring your Cathedral partners.”
The three judged stallions nodded their understanding. The captain continued, “And send a message to Fancypants and the Ponyville rabble that are in town. They should be there too.” A wide grin stretched across his face as he planned one final get together at the bar before Boss’s departure.
With that, the group of guards went about their business trying to settle everypony down and prepare for that night’s meeting at the Stray Stallion. While everything was hectic around town and ponies ran around in utter confusion, the castle managed to stay moderately calm and peaceful…
Day 7- Stray Stallion, 9:21am
Boss sat limp on the barstool at the back of the bar with a bottle of whisky in one hoof and a mug in the other. He let out a deep sigh and gulped down mug after mug. He had bandages scattered on his face and tissue shoved up one nostril. His sunglasses barely covered a large purple circle around his right eye, and the left lens was cracked. His suit was wrinkled and torn slightly in places, and his bowtie was loose and slipping.
“I’m getting too old for this, I suppose…” The defeated stallion sighed in a depressed tone. He poured another mug of whisky and chugged it, trying to drown the pounding in his head.
“Nonsense. Shining Armor was just an amazingly good player. Even a designer can’t stop every player.” Astaroth attempted to comfort the sad pony.
Boss snarled, “I don’t need your sympathy, Astaroth… I need more alcohol…”
The bells on the front door jingled, sending thoughts of the bell atop the Empireo through the stallion’s head. He groaned as a lean pink figure approached the counter. The mare giggled, “I guess you lost again, huh Boss? Oh well, at least he didn’t utterly destroy you like Vincent did.”
“You’re reminiscing is not needed, Miss Catherine. I’m well aware of how badly I was beaten…” The old pony groaned in pain and sorrow as he poured another mug of whisky.
Catherine placed a gentle hoof on his back and sighed, “So what’s keeping you here in Equestria? Is Daddy being stubborn again?” She frowned at the thought of her father being too stubborn to send them back to Earth.
Boss scoffed, “No, nothing that simple, I’m afraid. I promised that pain in the ass I would have drink with him before I leave…” He was about to pour another mug of whisky when he realized the bottle was empty. He placed it on the counter and sighed in complete depression.
“Yes well, Nergal is standing by whenever you give the word. See you on the other side, Dumuzid.” Astaroth chuckled condescendingly as his voice faded away.
The old stallion and young mare sat and shared words for a few hours, drinking the time away. Catherine tried to cheer him up, but it just seemed as if it couldn’t be done. She was also amazed at how well he handled his alcohol. After several bottles of whisky, the stallion was still coherent enough to mix cocktails for her…
Day 7- Stray Stallion, 8:28pm
After the hype around town settled down, the whole group of stray stallions (with some mixed company) met at the bar of the same name to enjoy one last night together. The following day would bring both the Wonderbolts show that had attracted the Ponyville crowd and the day Boss would be leaving Equestria. Although only Armor was aware of the latter, everypony was psyched for the former.
Of course, for the first little while, there were tons of questions and threats passed between the lovers of the judged ponies and Boss, before finally the tension was released and everypony decided to have a wonderful time and enjoy themselves.
After the final threat had passed from Starlight to the bartender, all the anger and tension dispersed into the spirits stored on the shelves. Boss declared to each pony in attendance, “Liquor’s on me. It’s the least I could do to make up for the events of the past week.”
Everypony relaxed and enjoyed drink after drink in peaceful conversation. Nopony dared bring up the topic of the nightmares, not wanting to risk starting arguments between the victims and the judge. This was going to be a wonderful evening of cheer and relaxation…
Until Catherine walked into the bar and sat at the counter to talk with Boss. In a single instant, the cheer died down and gave way to an emotion similar to anger. For three of the present stallions, she was the cause of their climbing the towers. How could they not be upset with the seductive mare that had tricked them?
After ordering a cocktail from Boss, the mare turned to address the present company. She giggled, “Hasn’t this week just been fun? This town can get pretty lively, can’t it?”
Mr. Rich leaped to his hooves and slammed one on his booth, causing his wife to flinch at the sudden action. His daughter nearly spilt her smoothie as she jerked away from her obviously-angry father. “How can you say something like that, you banshee?! Half of this is all your fault to begin with!”
Big Macintosh nodded in agreement and said, “Eeyup, I’m afraid Mr. Rich is right, Miss Catherine. It’s because ‘o you that me and him ended up climbing.” A frown covered his face as he thought about how cheaply he’d been tricked.
Catherine scoffed, “It’s not my fault I like to have fun every once in a while. And it’s certainly not my fault you two decided to fall for me.”
“You’re a succubus, how the hell could we not?!” Armor slapped a hoof to his table in disbelief of her indifference.
Fancypants chuckled, “I believe we’re taking this far out of proportion, my friends. Lighten up; there’s no sense in letting one mare ruin our fun!” He was met by Rarity’s angry glare.
Brawny scoffed, “Yeah, I’ll lighten up when this tramp gets outta our hair.” He waved a dismissive hoof at the succubus sitting beside Boss.
“What did you call me, you old mule?!” Catherine clapped her hooves together and screamed in indignation.
Starlight leaped to her hooves and pointed an angry hoof at the pink mare. She screeched, “I know you’re not talking about my Brawny like that!”
“And what if I am, you hag?” Catherine stuck her tongue out at the older mare.
Boss muttered quietly, “There’s no need for violence, Miss Catherine.” His words went unheard as the tension escalated once more in the bar.
“Who are you calling a hag, you floozy? Don’t you have brains in that head of yours, or are you all looks?” Rough coughed after a puff of his cigarette. He thumped the ashes and waited for the next pony to continue the onslaught.
Princess Cadence shook her head and sighed, “Who do you think you are to come in here and crash our party?”
“Your party?! This is a bar! I don’t see your names on it anywhere!” Catherine sent a nasty glare at the alicorn princess.
Boss cleared his throat and cheered, “That’s where you’re wrong, Miss Catherine!” In the instant, everypony shut up in curiosity of hearing what the stallion meant. He continued, “I went earlier this evening during all the commotion to have the deed to this building changed. It now belongs to the only businesspony in town I feel I can trust with its assets.” He pulled a piece of folded paper from within his suit and handed it to the blue-mustached stallion.
“Wait…what?” Catherine’s eye twitched in disbelief as she realized that the rich pony had the authority to kick her out of a bar she helped run for almost a week. At least, she liked to think she helped run it.
Fancypants looked over the deed for a few seconds. He nodded his head and chuckled, “Well, isn’t this a beautiful piece of irony?” He grinned smugly at the pink succubus.
“Alas, I’m afraid I must be leaving as well.” Boss sighed as he poured one final mug of whisky. After chugging it down, he sighed, “We’ll be leaving Equestria for quite a while. Try not to let things get too out of hand, will you?” He winked in Armor’s direction before clapping his hooves in the air.
Almost instantly, a cold wind began to circulate around the room and a funnel formed at the very back of the bar. Little sparks of electricity shot from the funnel, and a purple ball of light started to grow. Only a few ponies lost their nerves during the show, considering this was nothing compared to the demons of the towers.
The purple ball eventually stretched out to form a circular window in the middle of the wall, and from that window a long gray arm with black stripes reached out. Following the arm was a body, another arm, two legs, and a head. The creature resembled a larger form of Thomas Mutton from the prior night’s trial, but only Armor was aware of that.
The creature’s head was adorned with two horns similar to a goat, and it had an extraordinarily bushy beard and flat hair. Its eyes shined a magenta color as it groaned, “Are you two finally ready to leave this sickeningly cute place?” It had a deep echoing voice, and was filled with a tone of discomfort.
Boss smirked at the ponies staring in horrified awe, “Of course, Lord Nergal. Our time here was most enjoyable. Come now Miss Catherine, it’s time to go home.” He took Catherine’s hoof in his and approached the massive creature.
“Good, I finally get to beat you in another round of Street Fighter!” The creature slapped a hand on Catherine’s back and laughed triumphantly.
The mare rolled her eyes and sighed, “We’ll see, Daddy…”
With that, the portal closed abruptly and all signs of it disappeared from the bar. In that instant, both Boss and Catherine disappeared from Equestria altogether.
After a few minutes of silence, Armor spoke up. He pointed a hoof limply at the wall where the portal had just been. He sighed, “Did…Did she just call that thing her dad?”
…
So here we are again. Did you pick up on all the wonderful lessons taught in our lengthy story? More importantly, do you think Shining Armor did the best he could to lead his fellow strays to victory at the hands of the nightmares?
So in the end, almost every pony learned their lessons and came out of it okay, all thanks to Shining Armor’s determination and unwillingness to let Thomas’s damage remain done. He truly is a role-model for all of us to follow, isn’t he?
He encouraged each of his friends to face their demons and conquer the nightmares. He overcame the temptation of the succubus Catherine, and made amends with his dear lover. He even managed to put Thomas in his place for a second time. So many wonderful things came to fruition because of that stallion.
This is where our story ends, I’m afraid. But don’t you worry; Armor and Cadence have plenty of interesting situations waiting for them in the near future. But those are tales for another day.
I’ve been Trisha, the Midnight Venus, and I want to thank you all for tuning in to the Golden Playhouse for another fine show. Maybe one day there will be another. Until that time comes, stay golden…
