• Published 3rd Jun 2012
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Catherine: Love is Over? - _No_One_Remains_



A crossover of MLP and Catherine, starring Big Mac and several others as they climb to freedom.

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Tensions Rise, Challenges Surface

“I’ll be honest with the both of you… Thomas has no reason to send you here. Your nightmares have been unnecessary. For no other reason than his own convoluted opinions he sent you in here. Wake up, I’m sending you back.”


Night 5, Cathedral

“What in tarnation? Any reason ya knocked us out like that?” Big Mac squirmed on the cold ground of the dark void as he slowly regained consciousness. His head was pounding from the impact of hitting the hard wood floor of the bar.

Another stallion beside him rolled over and sat upright. He groaned, “I concur, Big Mac. We’re going to be sore in the morning, eh?” Doctor Whooves stretched the arm that he had landed on and flinched at the sharp pain in his shoulder.

The two stallions shared confused looks as they realized they were both in the same dark void. Big Mac looked around to find the seven other doors in the distance, five of which were hung wide open. He chuckled as he realized they were in the nightmares again.

Doctor sighed, “So we have to climb again, huh? The voice said tonight was the end, right?” He stood up to his hooves and shook the dizziness from his brain.

The red stallion lifted himself from the ground and chuckled, “I’m guessin’ that’s about right. Well, we oughta get started.” He started toward the large door beside them.

The mysterious voice called to them, “Ha! I can’t even tell why you’re both here. I mean, you’ve done nothing wrong. So what if you have no intention of settling down with your current courtesans? Neither do they…” The voice sounded slightly annoyed.

Big Mac raised an eyebrow and asked, “Whatcha mean, Mr. Voice? Who ain’t got no plans of settling down?”

“Macintosh, your lover is Catherine. Of course she has no interest in being with you forever. And Doctor, the same goes for you. That Pegasus friend of yours doesn’t plan on settling down. As far as I’m concerned, neither of you have done anything wrong as far as hindering the growth of society is concerned.”

Doctor scoffed, “How kind of you to finally realize that, Astaroth. Now what are we supposed to do here?” He rolled his eyes and approached the door.

“I suppose I’ll send you back to your world. I have no reason to make you climb the tower. Say hello to Thomas for me, will you?”


Night 5, Stray Stallion- 3:16am

The door opened wide and let the white light pour into the void. The two stallions entered through the doorway and felt the cold air around them give way to warmth. When the light faded, they were lying stretched out in one of the booths of the Stray Stallion. They adjusted in the booth and took in their surroundings.

An overly-excited voice greeted them, “Nice to see you guys awake so soon! I take it the Cathedral was a piece of cake?” Lightning waved a hoof in greeting before chugging the rest of the beverage in his other hoof. He and Octavia were sitting on the barstools beside Boss, waiting for everypony to wake up.

Doctor shook his head and groaned, “Not sure. We didn’t have to climb it…”

Boss responded with an indignant gasp, “What do you mean you didn’t have to climb it?! How could you possibly be awake without doing so?” He adjusted his shades and set a bottle of whisky on the counter beside Lightning’s empty mug.

Big Mac chuckled as he sat upright in the booth, “Mr. Astaroth ain’t got a reason for us to climb, so he let us go home.” He stood up from the booth and stretched, trying to get fully awake.

Doctor walked lazily to the counter and took a seat beside Lightning. He sighed, “I’m going to assume that the Cathedral has a special twist to it, right? So what is it?” He rested his head on his hooves in a worn-out fashion.

Octavia giggled, “Turns out that the stallions who have to climb the Cathedral have to help their special pony up with them.” She thought about how romantic such a notion must be. She didn’t know, however, that she was dead wrong on the whole ‘romance’ theory.

Big Mac chuckled, “Eeyup, sure sounds like a mighty fine way to spend a nightmare. So how long have we been out for?” He walked over to the counter and sat on the barstool beside Doctor.

Boss pulled two mugs from behind him and popped open a bottle of Sweet Apple Acres Super Sizzling Spicy Cider. He poured the two mugs to the brim and handed them to the new stallions. He sighed, “It seems Astaroth doesn’t want me to win at all anymore. He let you two go free without a trial of any sort. The same cannot be said for your friends over there.” He waved a hoof in the direction of the five unconscious stallions still resting in the booths.

Lightning cheered, “Oh well, they’ll be fine! They survived the last few nights, so tonight can’t be much worse!” He chugged down his newly-refilled mug of whisky before turning back toward his fellow guards. He added, “At least I hope so, anyway…”

Big Mac reached around the other Ponyville pony and placed a hoof on the guard’s shoulder. He chuckled, “Now don’t you be worryin’ about none of them, fella. They’re tough. They ain’t gonna die on the last night.” He took a swig of his mug of cider.

The five of them sat there for a few minutes and just talked about the nightmares. Big Mac explained everything he’d been through during the last few nights. He tried to paint a clear picture for Octavia and Lightning to grasp, but he wasn’t sure if he was doing it right. After about an hour of describing the nightmares to the ponies, a familiar voice called from the corner of the bar…


Night 5, Stray Stallion- 4:34am

The sophisticated and suave voice called out, “Well, that was a fun endeavor…”

Boss called back, “How nice of you to join us in the real world, Mr. Fancypants. Would you care for a drink?” He poured another mug of cider and placed it in front of an empty barstool.

The rich stallion rolled out of the booth and stretched his tired limbs. He stumbled over to the stool and took a seat, chugging the cider without hesitation. He groaned, “What a climb… I daresay I won’t be forgetting that tower anytime soon…”

Big Mac chuckled, “Did ya learn whatever Mr. Astaroth was tellin’ ya to?”

Fancypants nodded and sighed, “I certainly did. It’s amazing, really. Even though she knew I was an unfaithful jerk, she still stopped to save my life. Perhaps I should at least try my hoof at a true romance…” He looked back at the other two stray stallions. “I venture a guess that your Cathedrals went well, then?” he asked.

Lightning laughed, “The lucky bastards didn’t have to climb it!”

The rich pony raised an eyebrow and said, “I see. I suppose not wanting to settle down with a pony that doesn’t want to does not quite count as a crime, right?”

The red stallion cheered, “Not enough to matter much to Mr. Astaroth. He ain’t a bad fella, he’s just doin’ what he thinks is right…”

“That still doesn’t make it right, Big Mac!” Octavia butted in. She continued, “Killing is killing, no matter the reason. It’s not right at all.”

“Oh please, Miss Octavia! Are you really going to start preaching about the rights and wrongs of murder and morality?” Boss poured a small mug of whisky and gulped it down. He looked at the five ponies sitting in front of him and scoffed, “Let’s be honest here, are any of us actually innocent and pure?”

The sudden change of topic threw most of the patrons off guard. Fancypants sighed, “Though none of us may be pure, I assure you that the crimes we commit don’t begin to compare to the evils you and Astaroth have done.” He slapped his hoof on the counter with an angry flame in his eyes.

Boss refilled the rich pony’s glass with cider and chuckled, “How do you figure, Fancypants? What makes one crime worse than another? Is our murdering of lecherous men truly any worse than your using of women? Is our murder more heinous than Armor’s cheating? Does one sin weigh heavier than all others?” He adjusted his shades and refilled his own mug of whisky.

The tensions began to evidently rise between the two stallions. Fancypants scoffed, “Of course murder is worse than cheating! How could you possibly think it is not? No matter what comes of cheating, at least the victim still holds its life!”

“Ha! What Astaroth and I do is a very important part of society, Fancypants. We simply root out the unfaithful scum and allow their victims to have the chance of being free and prospering. There are many people I’ve judged that wouldn’t have come to be if I had not judged a misleading lecher within their previous generations. Perhaps not in this world, but in my old world…” Boss leaned back against the shelves of alcohol and bowed his head. He lost himself in thought of events of the past centuries and games he’d played.

Just as Fancypants was about to continue arguing with the old stallion, a groan echoed from the back of the bar…


Night 5, Stray Stallion- 4:56am

The shaky and sorrowful voice of Mr. Rich bounced around the mostly-empty building. He screamed as he jolted awake, “Diamond!” Five of the six ponies at the counter shared confused looks. Boss simply adjusted his shades once more and turned away from the approaching angry stallion.

Fancypants cheered, “Hoorah, the second stray joins the flock!” He attempted to slap a hoof onto his friend’s back, but the stallion stormed right up to the counter and slammed both hooves down with force.

Anger overwhelmed his voice as he addressed Boss, “You sorry bastard! How dare you?!” He lurched over the counter and gripped the back of the collar of Boss’s shirt. The other five ponies darted away from the counter with haste, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire of whatever was about to go down.

Boss choked as he was yanked from the shelves to the counter, “What in Equestria are you doing?!” He tried to struggle out of Mr. Rich’s grip, but the stallion’s anger gave him an advantage.

The fire in his eyes burned as he shook the older stallion violently. He shouted through clenched teeth, “You took my daughter, you sorry son of a bitch!” A single hoof released the bartender’s collar and went flying at his face.

Boss flinched as the hoof stopped suddenly in the middle of the punch. A large olive-colored hoof wrapped around the assaulting one…


Day 6, Stray Stallion- 5:00am

The angry voice of Mr. Rich greeted Brawny as he slowly awoke from the nightmare. In an instant, his brain kicked into action. He opened his eyes and leaped from his booth, knowing exactly where the angry outburst was going. Just in the nick of time, he managed to reach the assaulting pony and grasp the flying hoof before it made contact with the victim’s face. Of course, the word ‘victim’ was subjective in that case.

Brawny groaned through his adrenaline-pumped drowsiness, “The hell’s wrong with you, man?! This won’t get you anywhere!” He managed to pull the angry stallion away from the old barkeep.

Boss stood up tall and flattened out his suit before chuckling, “I must thank you, Mr. Brawny. If you hadn’t shown up, I might have had a black eye in a few hours.” He readjusted his shades again before taking a small bow.

The buff soldier scoffed, “I didn’t save you because I wanted to. I saved you ‘cause I don’t wanna arrest this fella.” He shoved Mr. Rich toward the wall where a chair was resting, prompting the angry stallion to sit and resist the urge to charge the counter again.

Lightning scratched his mane and chuckled sheepishly, “So uh…Mr. Rich…what was that all about?” He was met with an angry glare that seemed to say ‘fuck off’.

The businesspony then turned his glare toward Boss. He sighed, “That bastard killed my daughter… At least in the nightmare…”

This was met with a round of gasps from the six ponies that weren’t already aware of the news. Boss simply stood like a pillar in a hallway and kept a relatively composed posture. He said bluntly, “You needed to learn your lesson, Mr. Rich. If losing your daughter was the only way to teach you, then it needed to be done. I should tell you that you didn’t simply lose her in the nightmare. No, anypony that dies in the tower dies in reality as well.”

It took several seconds for this news to click in the patrons’ brains. All of them let out horrified gasps at what Boss meant. Mr. Rich simply shook his head and let tears swell in his eyes. He’d been prepared to hear that from the moment he’d let go of his daughter’s hoof. He knew the pain felt too real to just be a dream.

Octavia choked, “Y-you’re joking, right Boss? That’s not true, is it?” The businesspony stood up from his chair and let out a sigh.

He groaned, “Of course it is. Because of this bastard and his ‘game’, my daughter is dead!” He started to charge at the counter again, but an agonized scream caused him to spin around to face the booths.


Day 6, Stray Stallion- 5:07am

The white guardpony squirmed and thrashed around in his booth. His jaw stretched open wide and his eyes began to bulge. The pony’s vocal cords formed the most gut-wrenching scream imaginable as his coat began to fade and his skin began to thin. His eyes became a bloodshot color as the horrifying scream faded away. The last sound to escape the dying pony’s lips was, “Sugar…” With that, his muscles relaxed and his breath left him.

Rough Charger died right in front of Brawny and Lightning, a turn of events that sent shivers down both soldiers’ spines. They were left speechless by the horrifying spasms they’d just witnessed their friend go through.

Octavia slowly approached his body, tears in her eyes. She stammered, “I-is he...d-dead?” The ponies turned back toward Boss.

The old stallion’s eyes shined a bright crimson for a brief instant before his lips curled into a smile. He chuckled, “Why, I do believe he is. Poor guy, really. He died because his lover was an unfaithful bitch. Too bad.”

Something in Brawny’s head snapped. He charged the counter and gripped Boss’s collar in a similar—albeit a bit more threatening—fashion as Mr. Rich. He screamed, “That was my friend, you bastard! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Doctor placed a hoof on the angry soldier’s shoulder and sighed, “Brawny, you mustn’t let your anger get the best of you. I would imagine Mr. Rich has it much harder, but he seems to be handling things a bit better…” He was met with Brawny’s angry glare.

The new aggressor loosened his grip and scoffed, “You ain’t even worth it, old man!” He shoved Boss against the shelves hard enough to shatter several bottles of alcohol.

Big Mac looked back and forth from Boss to Rough several times. He thought for a few seconds before asking, “If Mr. Rough didn’t make it outta the nightmare, does that mean his lady friend didn’t make it?”

This realization poured over everypony like a landslide. Not only had Rough lost his life on his tower, but his lover may have passed away as well. Prompted by everypony’s angry glares, Boss simply nodded in confirmation of Big Mac’s assumption before pouring himself a glass of whisky and ignoring the alcohol running down his shelves.

Nopony spoke another word for several minutes. Three ponies had lost their lives in the course of a single night. Two of whom were close to three of the current conscious patrons. It wasn’t until the final stallion began to stir that any of them spoke up.


Day 6, Stray Stallion- 5:13am

Rain opened his eyes hesitantly, half expecting to find himself still in the nightmare, the entirety of his climb with Cloud just a figment of his active imagination. To his relief, his eyes came into focus with Lightning hovering above him. At least, it was relief for a few brief seconds before he fully registered that it was Lightning.

He jerked upright and shoved his fellow guard away from him with force. He gasped, “What the hell’s wrong with you? Are you trying to scare me to death?”

Lightning chuckled, “S-sorry! I was just checking to make sure you were still kicking, that’s all!” He turned his head toward Rough’s corpse.

Rain looked at his friend lying lifeless in the booth next to him. He shook his head and sighed, “Rough…I never thought you’d be one to lose a game of wits…” The half-asleep stallion turned his attention toward Boss.

The suited stallion behind the counter chuckled, “What, do you want to be the next one to assault me? It seems to be quite popular tonight.” He maintained the smile he had adopted upon Rough’s painful death as he chugged his glass of alcohol.

Octavia took a seat in the booth across from the counter and rested her head in her hooves. She sighed, “This is horrible… Why’d all this have to happen?” She looked up at Boss with sadness in her eyes.

The judging stallion adjusted his shades and sighed, “Of the thirty ponies I’ve judged over the course of this week, I’ve enjoyed watching you all squirm the most. If only Armor were here to share this sorrowful occasion.” A wide smile slid across his face as he resisted the urge to burst into laughter.

A bell jingled from the front of the bar, and Boss’s smile quickly twisted into a frown. It wasn’t a frown of sadness, but a frown of worry.


Day 6, Stray Stallion- 5:20am

“Be careful what you wish for, Boss!” The tall white unicorn stomped into the bar, followed by his pink alicorn lover.

Everypony in the bar excluding Boss leaped to their hooves and cheered as Shining Armor charged his way to the counter. Brawny was the first to greet the guard captain with, “Good morning, Captain! Glad to see you’re still alive!” He placed a hoof on Armor’s shoulder and let out a genuine laugh.

“It’s wonderful to see you all okay too…” The white stallion had a determined look on his face as he turned toward Boss. He said, “Alright Boss, it’s time you explained everything! I want to hear every last detail about all this shit that’s been happening!”

Boss decided it was best not to test Armor’s patience. Of all the stallions in the bar, he feared Armor’s anger more than any of the rest. The petty threats of the other two assailants were nothing compared to what he imagined the guard captain would do. He explained everything to the ponies.

He told of his climb up the Empireo and his wish for eternal life. He explained how Astaroth chose him to help judge the rest of the men, and how he started making towers for the judgments. He explained how Vincent had beaten him a mere month ago and stopped the judgments of that century for Earth. He explained how he had obtained help from the king of the demon world, Nergal, to become a pony and move to Equestria to start judging the unfaithful stallions.

He explained why he did it, how he decided who to judge, and the role Catherine played in all of it. He took the time to explain that Catherine wasn’t a real being, and instead just a succubus from the demon world that liked to seduce men and ruin their relationships. She also just liked to have a good time outside of actual work. This news relieved Armor as Cadence seemed to accept the ‘not a real pony’ bit. The other stallions seemed a bit disturbed by the news, but they held their tongues as Boss continued.

The old stallion proceeded to tell about how he had made the towers so that the pony anatomy would have a chance to climb them with a bit of struggle, and how he’d regretfully underestimated the stallions’ climbing abilities. He ended his explanation with the sad news of the three ponies that had been lost that night.

Armor sat beside Rough’s corpse and whispered a silent prayer for his fallen friend. He also stopped to discuss a few things with Mr. Rich in secrecy. The rest of the ponies sat around and discussed the events of the last few days, and the fates shared by so many innocent stallions during the nightmares.

Their discussion was cut short when Mr. Rich pulled up a chair beside their booth and sat down with a worried expression on his face. He muttered under his breath, “I hope he knows what he’s doing…” before turning to watch Armor and Boss’s interaction.

Everypony fell silent as the guard captain addressed the bartender. “Last night was the Cathedral. It was the final floor of the nightmares, right?” The smug unicorn sat on the barstool closest to Boss.

The old stallion raised an eyebrow before answering, “Yes. Last night was the last nightmare you’ll have to endure. Why do you ask?” He adjusted his shades and glanced at the ponies staring in his direction.

Armor slapped a hoof to the counter and laughed, “So on the very last night, I’ve lost one of my closest friends and his marefriend. Filthy Rich lost his own daughter, a fact that should probably have provoked him to kill you on the spot. Celestia knows that if it’d been my daughter, you sure as hell wouldn’t be breathing right now…” He lifted the small cup of sake Boss had poured for him and gulped it down.

The barkeep grinned and said, “That’s correct. Rough Charger, Sugar Heart, and Diamond Tiara died last night. And I was fairly certain Mr. Rich was about to beat me up, until Brawny intervened.” He refilled the stallion’s sake cup before pouring his own glass of whisky.

Armor chuckled, “So let me get something straight. The Cathedral is where you get true freedom, meaning you finally learn what you really want and need. But there’s one more floor that lets you get any wish you want, right?” He grinned slyly at the stallion behind the counter.

Cadence leaped up from the booth and asked, “You can’t be serious Armor! Why would you want to go back to that place?” She took a few steps toward her lover before Brawny’s hoof caught her shoulder.

Armor turned to face the ponies in the booth. The six surviving stallions he had climbed with, the single innocent guard, Octavia, and his lover were all staring at him with concerned expressions. Boss groaned, “You are correct. The Empireo will grant the wish of anyone who reaches the top. However, that is no small feat…”

The smug stallion gulped down his new cup of sake and chuckled, “It’ll grant any wish, right?” He diverted his gaze from the eyes of everypony in the bar.

Boss hesitated before sighing, “Yes…any wish the climber wants…”

Armor slammed a hoof down hard on the counter and cheered, “It’s settled then! I’m climbing the Empireo tonight!” The ponies gathered in the bar let out a collective gasp of shock and uncertainty at his words.

Rain coughed as he choked on his gulp of whisky, “You’re insane, Captain! You can’t be serious about this!”

Boss’s face twisted in fear of the stallion’s challenge. He suddenly had a foreboding feeling in his gut telling him that this would end identical to his battle with Vincent. He would be beaten by Armor’s determination to carry on and set everything right, which would end in his expulsion from Equestria by Nergal and Astaroth. All this played through his mind in a single instant before he returned to the current situation.

He sighed, “Are you certain you wish to challenge me Shining Armor? I assure you that this final floor will be unlike anything you’ve faced before in the nightmares. I will not hold back any of my resources simply so you can get your wish.” He cleared his throat and removed his shades, revealing their crimson glow to the group of bar patrons.

Most of them jumped at the disturbing sight of Boss’s eyes. It’s not often you see a pony with pure crimson eyes in the peaceful world of Equestria…

Armor laughed, “You bet your sorry ass I’m ready to climb! And when I reach the top and get my wish, everything’s going to be perfectly fine! None of you have anything to worry about!” He smiled at all of his concerned friends. His expression was a reassurance that he had no intentions of losing to the bastard that had taken the lives of so many ponies.

Cadence moaned, “But Armor, it’s too dangerous! I don’t want to-!” She began to complain, but a gentle hoof to her muzzle stopped her short.

The white stallion looked at her with fire in his eyes. He said, “I’m not doing this for myself, Cadence. As soon as I wake up tomorrow, all of us can put this whole thing behind us. When we wake up tomorrow, everything will be right again…” He touched his horn to hers and closed his eyes. He whispered to her, “And then we can work on moving forward, okay?”

Boss chuckled, “How touching of a moment. I’m afraid that you’re self-proclaimed noble intentions are going to lead to your downfall, mule. I have no intentions of losing twice in a row to two over-zealous idiots. If you wish to climb the Empireo, then I will have no choice but to end you once and for all.” He chugged his glass of whisky and slammed the mug onto the counter. Even in the crimson glow, everypony could see the arrogance in the old stallion’s eyes.

The confident stallion sighed, “You swear that I’ll get my wish, right? You aren’t going to cheat me out of it with some of your dickheaded antics, are you?” He pointed a challenging hoof at Boss.

The demonic stallion simply grinned and nodded in reply. He poured one last glass of whisky before walking out of the room. He had preparations to make for the following night.

The rest of the ponies sat in awe at Armor’s bravery in challenging Boss to one final climb up the towers. They shared drink after drink as the day went by. Nopony came to the bar during the day. In fact, there was an air of depression looming about the bar. Mr. Rich left early to return to his hotel room and explain everything to his wife. Brawny and Rain carried Rough’s corpse back to the castle to explain the situation to Princess Celestia, though they weren’t sure she would believe their claims.

Fancypants returned to his home at around noon to recover from the torments of the previous nights’ nightmares. Lightning eventually returned to the barracks to catch some sleep, considering he had been awake the entire night. Octavia did the same, saying her concerned goodbyes to the still-confident guard captain. Big Mac and Doctor stuck around for a while to discuss some things with Armor, but decided to leave at around sunset. They were just as tired as everypony else.

Shining Armor and Princess Cadance were left alone in the bar. Boss had seemingly disappeared, as they had checked the room he entered when he left the counter to find it empty. They helped themselves to food and drink as they discussed the actions needed to be taken in the future. They discussed what they would do once everything was over; assuming Armor survived the following night’s climb.

After the moon had risen in the sky, the two decided it best to return to the castle and go to sleep. After all, the sooner they passed out, the sooner the nightmare would end. Armor drifted off into a numb stupor before letting sleep grab hold of him. His mind pondered the different outcomes of tonight’s climb. If he failed, everypony would remain unhappy. But if he survived, there was a chance he could fix all of their problems…

He drifted off to sleep to let the nightmare take hold. He was going to give everything he had to put Boss in his place…

“He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.” --Napoleon Bonaparte