The Nightmare's Beginning
*A/N: If you’ve read The Grand Opening (chapter 2) any time before 9:30pm on June 4, 2012, the names of the four guards have been changed from human names to more Pony-esque names. I’ve added a blog post telling what the names were changed to. Please refer to that for less confusion. Thank you.*
Night 1, The Underground Cemetery- 3:00am
Shining Armor squirmed and writhed as he felt an eerie cold wash over him. His eyes jolted open as he listened to the sound of terrified screaming echo around him. Leaping to his hooves, he looked around him, trying to find the source of the screaming. He didn’t see anything. He found himself in a large, open, black expanse, with dim light and no outstanding features. A little ways away from him was a large purple door, a dim white light glowing around it.
Armor’s head jerked back and forth, searching the darkness for anything other than the door. To his dismay, he found nothing. Suddenly, another scream rang out in the dark expanse. It sounded like it was coming from the other side of the door. With nothing else to do, Armor approached the door with a frightened and curious expression. He placed a single hoof on the door’s knob, and a beam of white light engulfed him.
When the light faded, he found himself standing in front of the very door he had just touched. In front of him, he saw giant white blocks lined up, stack on top of one another, reaching ever upward like a staircase. He looked all around the area, scanning the blocks with his eyes.
“What the hell is this place?” he mumbled to himself.
A loud rumbling sound echoed throughout the area, and the platform he was currently standing on vibrated wildly. He looked around, almost losing his footing, trying to find the source of the rumbling. Looking down below him, he watched as an entire level of blocks fell from the pile, falling into a seemingly endless black void. He looked around the rest of the area, noticing distinct features in the distance.
The area was surrounded by a huge wall of what looked like dirt, tree roots bursting from it and reaching ever upward. Armor looked down into the black void once more, wondering where he was. He could’ve sworn he saw something move in the darkness.
A voice snapped him back to reality, “Excuse me sir, I don’t know who the hell you are, but you had best get moving!” Armor looked up to find the source of the voice. There was a single pony a few dozen steps above him. The pony had no significant features aside from a thin blue mustache above its lower lip. Its coat was solid black and it had no mane or tail. Its eyes were crimson red, with a single black slit for pupils.
“Wh-where the hell am I?!” Armor called to the pony.
The pony shrugged its shoulders, climbing up another step. “I honestly have no clue. But if you don’t climb, you’ll be dragged down with the blocks!” The pony pointed a hoof downward as the tower of blocks vibrated again. Armor looked down to see another row of blocks fall into the darkness.
He screamed, “You’ve gotta be kidding me, right? This is just some trick, right?!” He climbed up the block in front of him, attempting to get farther from the bottom of the tower.
The pony climbed another step before calling back down, “I’m not going to find out! Get climbing, my friend! We can talk when we get to the top!”
Armor was about to call up to the pony when it left his line of sight, reaching ever higher into the tower. With another rumble, another row of blocks fell from below him. He looked down for a moment, and then stamped a hoof. He had to climb up this expanse of blocks if he wanted to live.
Armor climbed up the staircase of blocks, one step after another, trying as hard as he could to believe that this would end. He didn’t know where he was or why he was here. All he knew was that he had to survive. After climbing a dozen or so steps, the pony called down to him.
“Do you see that pillow right there?” The pony pointed a hoof at the block a few blocks away from Armor.
Armor looked at the object on the block and nodded to the pony. “What about it?” he called back up.
The pony smiled, “I’m not sure what it does, but you might want to grab it! You can’t be too certain about anything in this place!” The pony continued climbing once he finished talking. He was out of sight once again.
Armor ran across the few blocks and picked up the object. It was soft and cushiony, similar in shape and size to a pillow. The object disappeared in a flash of blue light. Left to ponder just what the pillow did, another few rows of blocks fell from underneath Armor. He shook the wonder from his mind, deciding it would be best to continue climbing.
He was surprised with how simply the tower was built. It was exactly like one giant staircase. There was no maneuvering or thinking required. All he had to do was keep climbing up the steps one by one. After another few minutes of climbing, the pony’s voice called to him again.
“You’re still going at it? That’s good!” Armor looked up to see the pony standing on a golden block right in front of a glowing door.
Armor called to him, “Is that the exit?”
The pony laughed, “I think so! I think we’re home free now! Do you see that bag right beside you?”
Armor looked to his right, and a small bag sat on a block a few blocks away. “Yeah, what about it?”
The pony cheered, “I don’t know what’s inside of it, but you might find a use for it later on! In fact, if you see anything lying around, you should definitely pick it up! You’ll never know when something may come in handy!” The pony placed a hoof on the door and disappeared in a flash of white light.
Armor stamped a hoof and picked up the bag. It disappeared in a flash of gold light, almost exactly like the pillow had before. Without wasting time to think about what could’ve been in the bag, Armor turned his head upward toward the door. He continued climbing up the tower, getting ever closer to the door.
Finally, Armor stepped up on the golden block and reached a hoof out to the door. A scream rang out from below him, stopping his hoof. Looking down into the dark expanse, Armor saw something move. A giant hoof appeared in the darkness, seemingly reaching toward him.
A distorted, demonic voice called out to him, “You’ll never escape this place! You’ll climb until you die!” Armor watched as a face and body materialized in the darkness.
The sight of the creature appearing out of nowhere made Armor leap backwards into the door behind him. He let out a single loud shout as a white light engulfed him. “What the hell is that thing?!” His voice echoed in the vast expanse of the tower as his body disappeared in the light. The creature below disappeared...
Night 1, Stray Stallion- 3:30am
“Judging by the way he was squirming when I left, I assume you’ve already put him in the nightmare?” Catherine sat on the bar’s counter, her hooves tapping against the marble as she impatiently waited for the time to pass.
Boss adjusted his shades, a smile on his face. “Yes, Ms. Catherine. You’ve done well. Hopefully by the end of tonight Mr. Armor will decide what he truly wants to do.”
Catherine scoffed, “You know it isn’t that easy! If you should’ve learned anything back on Earth, it’s that some men’s wills just can’t be shattered.”
Boss groaned, “Yes. There were eight men last time that survived and continued fighting until the end. Vincent saved them all.”
Catherine giggled, “You know, it takes a powerful leader to help so many people with their problems. Especially while he’s dealing with his own.”
“Yes, it does. I underestimated those men. I had never encountered such willpower before that time.” Boss sighed as he placed a newly-polished mug under the counter.
Catherine frowned, “Do you think he’ll make it through the night?”
Boss smiled as he said, “Of course he will. He may not be very certain of marrying Cadence, but he definitely has the will to live. I don’t think he’ll die easily.”
“And what about the other stallions that were here tonight? Was Armor the only one you sent to the nightmares?”
“Of course not. There were a few other stallions here tonight that I sent in to be judged. In fact, a couple of them have already passed away.” Boss’s shades shined with a faint light as he said this.
Catherine squealed, “Ooh! So it’s already begun then? This should be a fun game, don’t you think?”
Boss laughed, “Of course it shall be fun. I feel as if this world will give me a challenge. I do hope I have to create more difficult towers for these ponies.”
“I had best get back to bed before Armor wakes up! See ya tomorrow Boss!” Catherine disappeared in the blink of an eye.
Boss turned to look at the clock on the wall. Just as it struck four o’clock, his shades lit up again. He bowed his head and smiled, knowing that another unfaithful swine had been killed. He was happy with himself. Only one night of judging the men of this new world and he had already rid it of four stallions…
Day 2, Shining Armor’s Chambers- 5:30am
Shining Armor groaned and thrashed in his bed as the nightmare continued playing back in his subconscious mind. His eyes darted open as he finally let out a scream of fear. Jerking his body to look around the room, Armor found himself in his chambers, under his covers, in his own bed. His eyes darted around, praying that he wouldn’t find any trace of the eerie darkness that clouded his head as he slept.
What the hell just happened? What was that about? I…I can’t remember anything! All I remember is climbing some stairs…but what does that mean? Armor’s thoughts raced all over the place, trying to remember just what exactly he had dreamed about. All he could remember is that it was scary.
The mare lying beside him mumbled as she stirred from her sleep, “Is something wrong, Armor? You seem a little tense…”
Armor’s eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped as he took notice of the mare in his bed. She had a familiar coat and voice. He recognized her vaguely from the bar. He remembered running into her just as he was leaving and helping her off the ground. He couldn’t remember anything else about the mare. It wasn’t his lack of knowledge that scared him, however. It was the fact that the mare wasn’t Princess Cadence.
The mare stared into his eyes as she asked, “Did you sleep well?”
Armor’s thoughts raced as he tried to piece together just what exactly had happened to lead her to his chambers. He couldn’t remember anything else about her aside from knocking her down as he was leaving the bar. He stuttered, “Y-yeah, perfectly f-fine… Wh-what about y-you?” He couldn’t believe what was happening. Had he really cheated on Cadence with this new mare?
The mare rose up in the bed, placing a hoof on Armor’s chest. She spoke softly, “I slept wonderfully. Last night was amazing…” She had an alluring tone in her voice, and her eyes seemed to shine in the sunlight that came through the window.
Armor’s eyes grew wide as he thought about what she said. He managed to choke out, “Th-that’s great! I-I’m glad you enjoyed it… So uh, w-what time is it?” His eyes darted from side to side, trying to find some way out of this situation, hoping to get out of here and get to the barracks.
The mare replied softly, “Almost six. Do you have someplace you have to be?”
Armor’s brain latched on to this one moment of opportunity. “Y-yes! I need to get to the barracks before long! I-I’m sorry, but I have to get going!” He tossed the covers off of him and leaped to his hooves. He darted over to a small chest in the corner of the room and began placing his armor on.
The mare exclaimed, “That’s right! You said you were the captain of the guard! You really should get going!” She leaped from the bed and snatched her white dress from the floor of the room. Quickly placing it on and tying the bow around her neck, she headed for the door. Before opening it and heading through, she giggled, “Try not to overwork yourself, Armor! <3” Blowing a kiss in his direction, she swung open the door and headed out of the room.
In an instant, Armor was left to ponder just what exactly had just happened. He quickly closed the chest and plopped down on top of it, his mind racing with thoughts and questions.
What the fuck have I done? Why can’t I remember who that mare is? And why the fuck was she in my bed?! Did I really just cheat on Cadence? No, that’s not possible! I would never cheat! But…there’s no other explanation. I had to have cheated…but… Armor cradled his head in his hooves and screamed, “What the fuck just happened?!”
Day 2, Upstairs Guards Barracks- 8:30am
The five guards were gathered around a small table in the barracks, playing blackjack and discussing the matter of Armor’s morning. He explained to them everything that had happened after they left the bar the previous night. He also explained how he had woken up. At least, he explained everything he could remember.
“Damn Captain, I never would’ve thought you were a cheater!” Brawny slapped a hoof on Armor’s back, trying his best to hide a laugh.
Lightning chuckled, “I tried to tell you that you should’ve left with us. But no, you had to stay and drink some more!”
Armor thrust his elbow into Lightning’s side. “That’s not funny, Lightning! This is serious! What the hell will I do?”
Rough scoffed, “There’s not much you can do. You can try and break it off with the new mare, explain everything to Cadence, and hope for the best. Or you could call it quits with Cadence and have fun with the fling. Your choice.” He took a swig from a bottle of cider sitting on the small table.
Armor shot him an angry glare, “You’re not helping much!”
Rain spoke up, “There’s not much we can do, Captain. You’ve dug your own grave, now you gotta live in it. Rough’s right about one thing, though: You’ll have to tell Cadence, no matter what you do.”
Brawny scoffed, “Or you could just keep them both and hide one from the other. That could get messy after a while, though.”
Armor slammed a hoof on the table, “This isn’t a joke, guys! I seriously need help! I can’t even remember her name…”
Lightning laughed, “You can’t remember the mare’s name? I thought you were at least better than that!”
Rain chuckled, “Oh boy, that’ll serve as some funny conversation the next time you two meet, won’t it? ‘Hey, I know we slept together and everything, but can you remind me what your name is?’” He lifted a bottle of cider from the ground and took a drink.
Armor laughed at Rain’s comment. He sighed, “You know, I really hope I can straighten all this out before Cadence gets back in town…”
Brawny placed a hoof on his shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll be fine, Armor. Cadence is a forgiving mare. She’ll look past a simple mistake. But you have to break it off with the new mare.”
Armor lowered his gaze to the table. He spoke softly, “Yeah, I know. I just don’t know how to tell her that I’m in a relationship. There’s no telling what she’ll do…”
Rough took another swig of cider before commenting, “You’re willing to risk your relationship to spare the feelings of a woman that very possibly seduced you while you were drunk? That seems totally legit, Captain.”
Brawny laughed, “He’s got a point, Captain. You really do have some backwards priorities right now. Tell you what: Let’s go to the Stray Stallion tonight and ask Boss what he thinks.”
“He did say he likes to help his customers with their problems.” Rain added.
Armor nodded his head, “I don’t have much to lose, do I?”
Rough laughed, “That’s the spirit, Armor! Just stop worrying so much and focus on what you’re going to do. Don’t worry; just let the answer come to you!”
The five of them sat around for most of the day, playing cards and talking about their thoughts on the whole situation with the new mare and Armor. The entire time he was with them, Armor couldn’t help but wonder just how exactly the affair started. He also couldn’t quite understand just why he couldn’t remember anything about last night or the dream he had had…
Day 2, Stray Stallion Back Room- 10:00am
Boss sat on the small couch in the corner of his room, kicked back and watching the news on his television. He laughed as he changed the channel to a news station. “Otherworldly television. At least Lord Nergal’s hooked me up with entertainment in this weird world.”
The program on the television had a small blue bar at the bottom with the words ‘Stray Sheep’s Closure’ written across it. Boss looked at the text and switched the TV off. A voice beside him rang out, “So I guess they finally closed the bar, huh?”
Boss jumped, not expecting the voice to come from nowhere. “Yes. And it’s about time, if you ask me. That place is nothing without me.” Boss chuckled, adjusting his shades and sitting up on the couch.
Catherine’s wide smile greeted him as he turned his head to the side. “You know Vincent and his friends will be pissed, right?”
Boss laughed, “Sacrifices must be made, Ms. Catherine. The next time you see your father, tell him I said thanks for the TV.”
Catherine giggled, “Sure will. So, how many stallions died last night?”
“I’m not quite sure. At least five. There were a few survivors. I hope that I’ll soon be able to either remove them from the tower or send more in.” Boss looked across the room to the small wooden door.
“Armor survived. He was freaking out when he woke up this morning.”
Boss raised an eyebrow. “Can you blame the poor man? He’s been a faithful lover for three years, and then suddenly awakes to find himself with a strange mare.”
Catherine smiled, “Them’s the brakes when you meet a succubus.”
“I imagine that he can’t even remember your name. He probably doesn’t remember the time you two spent here last night.” Boss remembered all too well how Vincent freaked out the first day after meeting Catherine.
“I have to be more careful this time. Armor already knows that you know me. I don’t have anonymity on my side this time.” Catherine crossed her arms, bowing her head low. She asked, “Who were the other stallions you brought in last night?”
Boss thought about it for a second. “They were just a bunch of stallions here in town. Most of them were just regular citizens. There was one very rich and influential pony here last night. He told me all about his many consorts he had in the town. He very much pissed me off, so I sent him to be judged. Sadly, he survived.”
Catherine noticed a slight tone of irritation in Boss’s voice. “I’ve never actually heard you get upset before. You’re always so calm. It’s scary…”
Boss cleared his throat, “Never mind that. I’m perfectly fine. I just can’t believe a stallion would go about bragging to others about the many lovers he has. An abuse of position and power if I’ve ever seen one.”
Catherine giggled, “You’ve got your work cut out for you, then.”
Boss laughed, “Nonsense. I don’t intend on letting any of these wretched swine reach the top of the tower. True freedom shall not be theirs.”
With a laugh, Catherine stood up on her hooves and walked to the door of the room. She winked at Boss, and disappeared again. Boss let out a deep sigh, kicking back on the couch. He thought about just what he would have to do to get the men of this world to realize their faults and change their ways. He also knew that he would need to step up the difficulty for them at this point. The first night was always the easiest, but that didn’t mean the rest had to be…
Night 2, Stray Stallion- 8:42pm
Boss stood behind the counter, listening to the miscellaneous chatter of the dozens of ponies gathered in the bar again. He happily listened to the problems and dreams and aspirations of his more drunken customers, and watched as their more sober companions attempted to convince them to leave. The bar was nowhere near as busy as it had been the previous night, which was a relief for Boss. He decided to focus his efforts on the few stallions that had survived the previous night’s nightmare.
He watched as Shining Armor and the four other guards wandered into the bar, working their way back to the booth they had sat in the previous night. Octavia quickly joined them and took their orders. Boss listened carefully to their conversation, noting Octavia’s expression as Armor lowered his head to the table. He turned to the stallion that was sitting at the counter recounting tales of wealth and grandeur. With a polite smile, Boss dismissed himself from the drunken stallion’s company, and went on his way to Armor’s table.
With a wave of his hoof, Boss greeted Armor. “Good evening, everypony. Is there something wrong, Mr. Armor? You seem a bit out of it.”
Lightning waved his hoof and greeted the bartender with a smile. “Captain’s just down on his luck right now. Got a lot going on in his head.”
Armor sighed, “Hey Boss, have you ever woke up in your bed with a mare that you didn’t know?”
Boss blushed as he replied, “My dear friend, of course I have. Alcohol can truly mess with one’s ability to think rationally. Why? Did this happen to you?”
Brawny chuckled, “Captain woke up next to some gorgeous mare. Now he’s going nuts trying to remember how it happened.”
Rain clapped his hooves, “Yep, can’t remember anything about last night or the mare’s name.”
Armor groaned, “I’m glad you guys are so willing to give out my personal info!”
Boss chuckled as he adjusted his shades, “You know, I do remember you and another mare sitting here last night. Ms. Catherine, I do believe.”
The name made something click in Armor’s head. He suddenly remembered not only the mare’s name, but the events that led up to them returning to his chambers in the castle. “Catherine was her name! So wait…You do remember her in here, right?”
Boss nodded, “Of course. She came in just as you were leaving. When you bumped into each other, she insisted she buy a drink to make amends. One thing led to another, and soon you two were kissing passionately in the booth.”
The four guards’ jaws dropped, their eyes fixed on Armor. His face flushed red as he laid his head on the table and plopped his hooves over it. He groaned in anger and humiliation.
Octavia came back to the table carrying a tray of food and drink. “So you cheated on Cadence. It’s not that big of a deal. People make mistakes. You just better hope to Celestia that she’ll forgive you.” She placed the plates and glasses in front of the respective customers.
Armor looked at her with curiosity, “I figured you of all people would chew me out!”
Octavia giggled, “Why should I? It’s not like you purposefully went out and found a mare to join you in your bed. Things happen sometimes.”
Boss cleared his throat to get their attention. He said, “Sometimes it is best to give in to the temptations of your heart so that you may better understand what it is you truly want in life. So let me ask you: What is it that you truly want?”
Armor sighed, “I want to be happy. What else would I want?”
Rough laughed, “I would prefer to have a little more fun in my life. To be able to let loose every now and again.”
Brawny shrugged his shoulders, “I could use a little more freedom from the Misses, but I’m pretty happy where I am.”
Rain shook his head, “I want a lot of things. But you know the old saying ‘want in one hoof, shit in the other.’”
“I want a mare to hold and care for. You know, I want to meet ‘the one.’ My soul mate.” Lightning held a hoof to his heart and put on a dramatic face.
Boss’s expression shifted from one of curiosity to one of disappointment. “You all seem to be occupied with helping yourselves. I can’t say I blame you, but it still seems to be a running pattern with you five.”
Armor’s hoof hit the table in irritation. “Tell you what I want Boss. I want to figure out why the hell I woke up next to Catherine and what my nightmare was about last night.”
Boss flinched back as Armor said this. “Well, I can assure you I am always here to talk if you need me. I am always glad to-…” Boss was in the middle of a sentence when a voice called to him from the counter.
“Excuse me, sir, but I would really care for a drink.” A tall, sturdy-built unicorn sat on the farthest barstool. He wore a black suit around his front hooves and a purple bowtie around his neck. He had a slicked-back blue man and thin blue mustache. The cutie mark on his flank was of three small crowns, each with a purple gem in the center.
Boss flushed red as he turned to address the stallion. “Of course, sir. Right away.” He nodded at the group of guards and headed back behind the counter to take the stallion’s orders.
Lightning whispered to the group, “Isn’t that Fancypants? I wonder why he’s in a bar like this…”
Rain shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, but he looks a little out of it.”
Armor looked at the rich pony sitting at the bar. He couldn’t place his hoof on it, but Fancypants seemed familiar for some reason. He could almost swear he had seen him recently. Getting up from the booth, Armor grabbed his glass of whiskey and headed over to the counter to talk with the two stallions that were conversing.
Armor took a seat next to Fancypants and listened as he finished his story. “…and I felt like I was climbing some strange staircase. All I really remember is that I was afraid I would die if I didn’t keep going up.”
Armor’s eyes lit up as he heard the story. “I know what you mean! I had a dream like that last night! It felt almost like I was climbing some stairs…”
Boss commented, “You both had similar dreams, then? That’s highly unusual, I would think.”
Fancypants looked Armor over carefully. “You know, now that you mention it, you do feel quite familiar. I know you’re the captain of the guard, but I don’t believe you and I have ever met.”
Armor thought about it for a second, “Actually, you may be right. But I still feel like we’ve met before somewhere…” He extended his hoof for a hoofshake.
Fancypants took his hoof and shook it, trying to figure out why he felt so familiar. He turned to Boss and continued, “There was another stallion in the dream as well. He was climbing below me. He had no defining features on him aside from a cutie mark on his flank. In fact, none of the ponies I saw in the dream had more than one defining feature.”
Armor nodded, “The same here. I was climbing some steps and met a pony that was completely featureless. The only thing that stood out was his blue mustache.”
Boss’s face contorted in shock as he looked between the two stallions. In his head, he screamed in anger. Keeping a calm, kind tone, he asked, “Do you have any idea what caused the dream?”
Fancypants shook his head, “I have no guess as to what brought it on. I can certainly hope that it doesn’t happen tonight, however.”
Armor sighed, “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Boss. If Cadence finds out…Or if Catherine finds out… I don’t think there’s any way for me to get out of this mess without consequence.”
Boss laughed as he refilled Armor’s glass of whiskey. “You really need to think about what you’ve done. I don’t believe in preaching to my customers, but you need to decide which of the two mares you care for the most.”
Armor took a drink of the whiskey before saying, “I know for a fact that I love Cadence. I don’t even know how I ended up in bed with Catherine. It’s just…I don’t know if I’m ready to marry Cadence just yet…”
Fancypants raised an eyebrow and drank down a shot of sake. He asked, “You and the princess are lovers? I had no idea. I would think the answer would be obvious.”
“Oh yeah? Well what’s the answer?” Armor scoffed.
“If you simply must make a choice, the princess is the better of the two.” Fancypants waved a hoof matter-of-factly.
Boss adjusted his shades, “Why do you say that, Mr. Fancypants?”
Fancypants scoffed, “Because she is royalty, and of the highest ranking in society. Social status is much more important than any other deciding factor.”
Armor looked at Fancypants as if he were insane. “Are you kidding me? So it doesn’t have anything to do with love? You’ve got some backwards priorities, man.”
“And you don’t? Believe me, I didn’t make my fortune by committing to a single mare. I used the ones I needed to get where I am. Once I had what I needed, they were gone, and I was a richer stallion.” Fancypants grinned as he thought back to all the mares he had used to get to his position in society.
Boss sighed, “Sadly, not all men can be like you, Mr. Fancypants. Most of us don’t have the guts to simply use a lover and leave her the moment we’re finished. Some of us give our hearts out too easily.”
Armor added, “Not to mention a relationship is about love, not status. I don’t love Cadence because she’s a princess; I love her because she’s a kind, caring mare.”
Fancypants drank down another shot of sake, placed some bits on the counter, and stood up from his barstool. He laughed, “If you love her so much, just why exactly did you allow yourself to wake up next to another mare?”
Armor gave him an angry glare. “That’s what the fuck I’m trying to figure out!”
Boss spoke softly, “Have a good night, Mr. Fancypants. I hope your dreams tonight are pleasant.”
Fancypants replied as he walked toward the door, “Thank you, Boss. I do hope your night is enjoyable.”
The four guards in their booth watched as Armor and Fancypants exchanged somewhat hostile words before Fancypants walked out of the bar. Swallowing down the last gulp of his cider, Rough stood up from his seat. He walked over and placed a hoof on Armor’s shoulder.
“I think we should get going. It’s late. Are you coming?” he asked.
Armor turned to see the other three headed for the door. “Nah, I think I’ll stay and chat with Boss for a little while.”
Rough looked back at the other guards. He shook his head, “Suit yourself, Captain. Don’t get too drunk tonight, okay?”
Armor nodded as the four of them left the bar. Once more, it was just himself and Boss, left to chat together. Another hour or so passed before Armor decided it was best to leave before it got too late. He placed a few bits on the counter, nodded goodbye to Boss, and headed out of the bar. He was headed for his comfy bed in his familiar room in the secure castle. He prayed that he wouldn’t have the same dream as the prior night…
"If there is evil in this world, it lurks in the hearts of man." -Edward D. Morrison
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703742 Can't tell if backwards priorities or avid reader.
To be completely honest, the only thing that I didn't like about this chapter is how you portrayed Fancypants. Quite a bit out of character, considering that he doesn't seem to be the kind of person to use people for his personal gain. If anything, Blueblood would have been perfect for the part instead of Fancypants for the bar scene. Fancypants was perfect for the nightmare scene, considering that he seems like he's the kind of person who would go out and help other ponies, regardless as to who they are or their social status. Other than that, great chapter! I can't wait until the next one.
703849
Both.
Good story, good chapater, looking forward to the next one. Please keep up the good work.
Love how you described the nightmare, and how you gave an explanation as far as the pillows go, making sure they disappeared as Shining Armor touched them. Yay for making in-game item placement work for a story!
While I do agree with AddictedToVideoGames on the issue of Fancypants, I thought it was a great chapter other than tat! Especially because Shining Armor loves Cadence for being herself and not her social status.
Also, one last thing, caught a minor typo: The pony cheered, “I don’t know what’s inside of it, but you mind find a use for it later on!" That probably should be "might" there.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
I really can't wait to see how both Cadence handles the situation. So many things could happen if she decides to not take it too well
703890 Ah, but you seem to miss the 'Alternate Universe' aspect of the story tags. While I understand Fancypants isn't a complete and total prick in the show, this is an alternate universe. He is still the rich and influential stallion he was in the show, but underneath his helpful and supportive demeanor, he is a manipulator and lecher. At least in this Universe.
704433 I had to go back and change that a few times to fit what I wanted. Also, thanks for catching the typo!
huh just realised that Cadance could also be spelt Kadance...... food for thought
a great chapter none the less! can't wait for the next one!
705762
Which ending for the game? There are eight.
Good job on the names. How much of the game will you put into the story. You added the pillows so I guess Armor gets a "retry" Can he undo the puzzles or is he playing in hard difficulty? Your Fancy pants was kinda of harsh and counteracts his helpful nature or are implying he is misogynist? Nice touch making "Catherine" more concrete to everyone else at least this story is not beat for beat like in the game.
Also are you sticking to OCs only or are more backround ponies get thrown in? Also, again, you did a good job depicting climbing the stairs but even the first level was not even that simple, oh I cannot wait for the next update.
707335 I promise, I'll explain everything in the next chapter. Astaroth will make his first 'appearance'. And I wanted Fancypants to be harsh, because at the beginning of the game the stray sheep had somewhat opposing personalities to the faces they put on in the bar. A lot of things in this story will stray from the game, while all the while holding true to the formula and moral lessons within.
I will try and implement as many actual ponies as I can, but I can't guarantee there will be too many. I'm trying to make all of the 'stray sheep' have real pony counterparts. I hated making the counterparts of the main characters OCs, but I didn't have much of a choice. And I made the first level simple for...reasons.
Great chapter man.
The only problem I found in this is the fact that ponies know what hands are.
I loved the nightmare and the aftermath, but I can't believe that Fancypants could do something like that to mares, but blueblood would fit that perfectly.
Amazing story, don't stop