When Lacking Responsibility or how one moron's power leads to ruin.

by AhopelessEndevor

First published

Marcus was just another Brony who spends far to much time on the internet, he had few friends, and s

Marcus was just another Brony who spends far to much time on the internet, he had few friends, and spent what little of his time not dedicated to ponies on Left 4 dead. After passing out late at night on the keyboard reading another cliche Human in Equestia fanfic, he awakes to find himself in a strange and colourful land... as a Draconequus....

Just what happens when you take a well-meaning looser with mild psychopathic tendencies and give him phenomenal, god-like cosmic power, and let him loose in Equestria to run around blindly without any clue whats going on.

Having far to much power for his own good, Will he manage to restrain from accidently killing himself, let alone anything he encounters. Will he will learn that with great power comes great responsibility?Unlikely. Gore in later chapters.


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The green foliage burst outwards as A strange creature sprinted through the darkness of the Everfree forest, gasping for breath, furious pace driven by adrenaline and fear for his life, Terror, panic, overwhelming fear. There were but a few of the things going through Marks mind as he ran for his very life. The roars of his pursuers were drawing ever closer, and several times his mismatched legs almost gave out from under him.

If they caught him now he would die, there was no doubt about it.

'Well it's another fine mess I've gotten myself into'

4 days earlier: (Marks perspective)





A young man sat, white face glued to the computer screen, eye's staring blankly at rows and rows of text, this is you. A Brony.

You live by yourself at a small rundown flat, living off state benefits. The thought of leeching off the state disgusts you and inflicts a heavy blow to your already nonexistent self esteem. 'It's just until I can get a job' you constantly tell yourself, you haven't even applied for 10 yet...

You are once more on Fimfiction, it's seems you spend more and more time on it everyday, having already spent 7 hours glued to the dammed screen. Sigh You wonder what's wrong with you, why can't you stop reading about ponies, where did your social life die, when.... another interesting fic catches your attention from your internal monologue.

"How did I get here"? you say aloud, your sleep addled mind making you sound like some kind of zombie. Oh look at the time, 3:06 AM,HA you suppose you've got plenty of time before you usually fall asleep. Which would be anytime between 4 and 9 in the morning, you were gradually getting later ever since you left collage... a move which you regret in hindsight.

At only 700-1000 words per chapter it doesn't take you long to get half way through, turning towards the clock you notice it's now 3:43 Am, It's becoming very difficult to read this story, you mind is struggling to process and understand the text, and turn it into a personal movie inside your skull. The best it can do right now is a B-movie. it's pretty boring to say the least.

You thrust your head back up as you realize you almost face-planted the keyboard, swaying back and forth you stare towards the blurring white computer screen, schitt man your near catatonic, you'd better get to bed...

What HA! did you really just say that, sleep is for the weak!

You sit up straight and take a deep breath, Wake up , you try and will yourself into full consciousness but it's having little actual effect, "ok.... OK I'm pumped!" you state loudly. you take another deep breath and slap your face with both hands as one would do in the morning. "I'm pumped" came a bit louder this time.

Standing up you take another deep breath and clench your fists as hard as you can, you grit your teeth and strain. Imagining yourself to be punching an old schoolyard bully in the face, then proceeding to hospitalize that little bugger sends a wave of adrenaline and desperately needed testosterone into your system. You feel great, 'fuck yeah, what now natural sleep cycle, what now!' shaking you sit back down onto the chair.

'Time to read this mother-fucking fanfiction' you state rather loudly in your mind. Try as you might you find yourself just too Psyched to read anything, 'holy shit I feel great, i could stay up all night long, wonder if anyone else is- oh god why does my chest hurt!'. Indeed why does your chest hurt, there seems to be a gripping pain in your chest, a stitch perhaps? why would you have a stitch whe- OK now your getting pins and needles.

You stare Blankly forward as a strange form of terror grips your heart, you gingerly reach your hand towards your chest, slowly placing your fingers above your heart. you hold your breath for a good few seconds in utter panic.

Sigh "of course..." your're having a heart attack, strange now that your greatest fear is confirmed you feel so little. you stare at your chest, 'Well that sucks' you briefly consider calling an whambulance but consider it a waste of time, human resources suck and they'll never get here on time, the best you can hope for is minor brain damage. 'nah, not worth it' you decide, might as well die with some dignity then a 40 year old virgin. Speaking of dignity...

You take a moment to close all Mlp related content on your browser, all 19 tabs, and then clear browsing history. Gonna have to hurry up, your getting nausea and the numbness is getting worse in your legs. "let's see, gonna have to delete all these folders filled with reaction images" it takes you all of 5 minuets to delete all MLP content from your computer, god forbid your relatives find out. The thought alone makes you blush, the shame.

'I'd thought death would be more daunting, or scary' strange, you always wondered what it'd be like to die, now that it's happening all you can feel is a clam acceptance. You feel so peaceful as the ends draws ever nearer, 'wonder why'... OH yes that right, nobody will care that your gone, you have no friends, only your parents, and you've always had a feeling they were disappointed in you, wait that's not right you KNOW they're disappointed in you.

A lone tear drops from your face as take another shaky breath, your traitorous undersized ego cuts deep into your soul, 'perhaps it's better this way'

You briefly ponder how your death will have an impact on the world, you can find none. 'shame dat'. the end is drawing near now, your feeling weak and it's hard to concentrate on anything. you lie your head on the keyboard, the sound of the keys pressing brings you a strange sense of comfort.

Eye's drawing heavy, a multitude of final thoughts passes through your mind, you remember all the good times in your life and the bad, another tear falls, but this is a tear of happiness, as you remember all the good times playing down the creak as a kid, all the water-gun fights of the summer and the scare heavy snow of the winter. And all the good times you've had at collage with friends. mostly spend catatonic under the effects of alcohol. 'I've had a good enough life'.

Closing your eye's you take your last shuddering breath and then all is silent, you think about all the regrets you have, the way you let yourself become TOO addicted to ponies, the way you never got a job, the way you've spent the last 6 months after your 18th birthday coped up in the room living off British state benefits. 'Shit...' you forgot to empty the recycle bin on your computer. And then your're dead.



The first thing Mark felt upon becoming conscious was a strange tingling in every part of his body, he didn't particularly care about nor register this, being too tired to actually give a damn. Seconds later the blissful peace was replaced by discomfort he became aware of was a cold dampness all around his form, as if his entire bed was wet. It also didn't feel as soft as it usually did. It was cold, he began reaching over to grasp the quilt cover... only to discover to his shock, that it was non-existent.

"urgh.." groaning, A black claw reached around in the damp grass, soaked in early morning condensation. He couldn't find the quilt, 'fuck, now I have to pick it up' he rolled over onto his back and opened his eye's to admire the tree tops.
It took a few seconds to sink in...

"What. The. Fuck?!" his eye's burst open and darted round to view the lush, thick woodland canopy growing over head. His mind finally registered where he was, lying on wet grass in the middle of a forest. 'no seriously, what the actual fuck'.

He liked to identify himself as fairly madcap, but this was ridiculous and for once he was actually too stunned to move, little could phase him and he'd seen some pretty wild things before dropping out of college... 'wait....that's right ' he thought, didn't he die of a heart. So why was he in the middle of the woods, why would somebody save him then dump him in the middle of nowhere, he lived in the middle of the city for christ sake. The nearest woodland should have been more the 30 MILES AWAY!. To be honest, the only reason he wasn't freaking out right now was because the forest was just so damn quiet and peaceful.

Finally getting out of his stupor, mark managed to roll onto his claws and knees at which point he completely lost it. A rather girly shriek echoed throughout forest followed by a multitude of curses. Once again mark found himself lying on his back in wet grass, only now he was staring in absolute shock and puzzlement at his shaking new set of reptilian appendages. What confused him more-so was that one was noticeably bigger then the other. His right arm had enlarged and was covered with hardened black scales while his hand had become a scaled claw (which unbeknownst to him was actually draconic in nature).

His left arm however was relatively the same size, and just as skinny, it was a dark grey with a rough texture and had elongated fingers ending in sharp talons. He couldn't for the life of him match it to any other animal known.

Hyperventilating he began to feel around to see if there were any other unwanted changes, he found to his horror that he was naked, but that was the least of his worries. His body was longer then he ever remembered it being, and his legs seemed to have shrunk and became stubby in comparison to human anatomy, one leg had become a clawed lizard foot complete with a talon. While the other had become a lions paw, dark orange appearance.

Black fur began somewhere near his abdomen and ended at his legs, it extened halfway down his whiplick tain until it ended in grey feathers. What he found more disconcerting was the fact that he only appeared to have one shoulder, the larger arm seemed to have an enlarged shoulder while the other seemed almost anorexic and smaller in comparison. He became aware of movement on his back and discovered a pair of mismatched wings, one, a dragons wing, was again bigger then the other but this time it was on his left side which helped balance out the size difference between his arms. the other was feebly small and seemed to belong to some kind of red bird. it wasn't even half the size and there was no way he could use them to fly, not that the thought even crossed his mind at the moment.

Now sitting up and gasping in panic, he grasped his head in is hands, it again was reptilian, filled with mismatched Sharp teeth that seemed to have originated from at least a few different predators. His snout was short, and strangely his left eye was noticeably bigger then the other. All in all he looked pretty goddamn hideous.

"Oh what the fuck"

A confused and panicking mark managed to get to his feet, and began whirling around looking every which way which only gave the same result, no-matter which way he spun, nothing but tree's and woodland.

Sitting back down to ponder his currant predicament. He wondered if he was dead, he recalled having that heart attack and falling onto the keyboard. Perhaps this is what it was like to die, maybe he was in heaven or hell, even though he never really believed in an afterlife, and proudly renounced all religion as "retarded", right now Mark was having second thoughts as clearly he was wrong about there being no afterlife. How would his family react... oh fuck that's right he forgot to empty the goddamned recycle bin on his computer!

It took mark around 10 minuets to regain his composure. "ok, might as well get moving. It's better then staying here to starve", getting up, he began taking shaky steps in a random direction, and then promptly lost his balance and face-planted into a tree. Looks like his first task was learning to walk.

Chapter 1

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He was getting pretty sick of trees, having so far been traveling through the forest for a good two and a half hours. By now he'd regained the ability to walk at least somewhat and wasn't staggering nearly as much, although he had gained a few bruises and a small gash had appeared on his snout (which felt incredibly weird).

The forest was becoming somewhat lighter now, there were less tree's blocking out the sun and sunbeams pierced the canopy, lighting his path with patches of light, left and right Bird calls were the only source of sound coming from every direction. Right now Mark was pretty relaxed, as relaxed as one in his situation could have possibly been. Walking had always calmed him, it was peaceful and gave him time to just let his mind wander and relax, to think over his problems and contemplate life.

Again his tail smacked another branch, he had very little control over the thing and it seemed to have a mind of its own. Not that it bothered Mark, It flicked to the side and seemed to move chaotically, 'This thing is awesome', he loved the damn thing. It honestly fascinated him to no end, 'I could use it as a weapon or something, whip bitches in da face!', oh yes he adored it. Speaking of which, he had sharp teeth, didn't that mean he ate meat exclusively now? while that didn't change anything from his previous life, he doubted he could visit a McDonald's or burger king in this place, he briefly wondered if they would have McDonald's in heaven/hell.

He'd probably have to start killing deer or something to survive, at least something good came of this whole escapade. That and the tail, it was fucking awesome. 'How would i make a fire? Would i have to eat the thing raw?', he didn't have anything to make a fire with, so he supposed he'd have to kill and eat things raw, hey animals did it all the time and he was no longer human, the idea actually sounded somewhat appealing to him. He was actually getting pretty hungry right about now, the thought of big-mac's got him thinking about other people, were there people here, would they be like him or just view him as a monster. Perhaps they would be transformed into things as well.

"Thank god finally, thought this forest would never end!", up ahead the trees and foliage suddenly cut off revealing bright pastures of lush green grass, at the center of the glade a large oak tree stood, the landscape seemed wrong somehow. Small patches of tree's grew out in the distance spaced away from each other, between them it was just hilly grass, no shrubs or bushes or anything of the sort, just clean expanses of grass on top of small bumpy hills. It just seemed unnatural to Mark.

What was really weird was that in the distance impossible hills rose up into the sky in such a way that it would never form naturally. 'The hell is with those mountains?, grass shouldn't be growing vertically like that, almost reminds me of MLP' of course that was impossible, deciding his quest for civilization was not going to be advanced by admiring the strange country side, he once again set off, with absolutely no idea where he was going. 'Hopefully they have mc'nuggets here'




Fluttershy Stared at the packages uncomfortably, she had a dilemma. Already she had already fed the animals, of which she all knew by name, their favorite grain last week. But she didn't want to bore them with the same old food day in day out, so to stop them getting sick of the taste she had opted to buy another feed from the store, only problem is that Angel hated this kind. She had too choices, give them the same grain as last week and risk them becoming sick of it or make poor Angel suffer. speaking of which the impatient bunny sat nearby her and was hammering his food against the floor.

"oh, One moment Angel", the pressure was on, on one had animals had feelings, she'd hate to be fed the same food everyday for the rest of her life, so why should she subject her animal friends to the same treatment. on the other hand poor Angel hated the other feed.

Smiling she discovered a solution, Fluttershy give angle his own tray of his favorite food to make sure he was happy and fed the other animals separately. All once once again happy and the humanitarian crisis had been averted, at least that was until an angry squeak stole her attention.

"what's wrong Angel is something the matter?" she asked tentatively, The rabbit simply pointed at his food with a cross expression on his face. Gingerly, she moved her muzzle towards the feed only to gasp upon touching it. It was damp, somehow the animal feed had become slightly damp and mushy overnight. Poor Angel couldn't eat this, he only ate solid crunchy food, how could she not have checked first.

tap tap tap

Fluttershy's thought was interrupted by the impatient little rodent, he clearly wanted fed and now! "oh, um.. I'm really sorry angel but we're all out of 'green pastures' if you want I could-" she was cut off as the rabbit slapped her, it didn't hurt at all but it got the point across. "oh.. right um... I'm just go get some more from the grocery store... and remember that talk we had about hitting mommy, it's really not very nice and I'd appreciate it if you could um... stop it please" Angel for his part at least tried to look apologetic even though he had his arms crossed.

Trotting over to the door, Fluttershy donned her saddlebags and prepared to set off towards the market, despite how much she disliked the fact that she'd have to go out in public and interact with relative strangers. "mommy won't be gone long, she'll be right back.. so um.. be good while I'm gone". she opened to door and slowly closed it, careful not to make any sound.

Turning away from her house she began to walk forward and promptly stopped when she came face to face with a very strange looking creature which was just outside her garden. The animal froze instantly and locked it's gaze upon her, seemingly sizing her up. Neither moved.

The thing looked daunting, with it's sharp claws and teeth, obviously a predator, but Fluttershy wasn't scared as she knew animals just needed some tender love and care to become friends for life, she couldn't wait to befriend the thing in front of her, after all, animals weren't bad, no matter how nasty they may look, she knew that even the largest and most fearsome of beasts would become loving pets if treated properly with kindness.

She took a small step forward and cooed softly, "it's ok, don't be afraid, I won't hurt you...". The thing had the most incredulous and nonplussed look on it's face as it turned it's head to the side. Fluttershy took another slow step forward, moving forward fluenlty and confidently as the creature wasn't showing any signs of aggression. What happened next made he gasp.

"what..." It spoke, it was a he not an it, suddenly those claws and teeth looked a whole lot more threatening and she let loose a small squeak. Animals weren't dangerous, but sentient beings were unpredictable, they could be bad or good, and the individual in front of her looked monstrous, of course he was a predator, so any sentient creature that goes out and kills for food had to be evil.

It let loose what appeared to be a diabolical laugh that made Fluttershy cringe and fear for her life, her wings locked up and she crouched close to the ground. "HA... ha ha- nope!" it took a step back. "Nope, nope Nooooope!" it started backpedaling and then turned around completely and proceeded to wander off in the opposite direction while constantly saying "nope!" nonstop in an almost casual way.


Back with our intrepid young hero:

"nope, nope, nope, nope, nope nope, nooooooope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nooope, nope, nope, nope, noope, nope" what he had seen was so insane and impossible that his mind could not even begin to process it, instead, he just went back the way he came. by now he was a fair way away from the cottage and nearing the middle of the glade he passed earlier, with a finial "nope" he collapsed against the large oak tree and held his head in his hands where he stayed for the next 5 minuets.

He took a deep breath, lifted his head up to the sky and spoke in a calm voice, "ok what the fuck, what the fuck is goin on, are you there god? I'm sorry I called your religion retarded, but at the time there wasn't any proof an-" good god, was he really reduced to this? *sigh*. He had nothing, no idea what was going on.

"OK, lets recap, I'm some kind of dragon thing stuck in the My Little Pony universe... I woke up in a fukin forest, and I scared Fluttershy apparently...". "words cannot describe the levels of fuck I am experiencing right now". Well at least he had a large and extensive knowledge of the world he lived in now, he probably knew more about MLP then real life, which he thought was kinda sad. but incredibly convenient.

This entire situation was messed up, he was in a cartoon now apparently, didn't look like a cartoon to him but it was. What was real and what wasn't, was this some kind of dying hallucination? One thing was for sure, there was absolutely no reasonable explanation for this, it was madness.

He didn't know what to think anymore, so he just accepted reality as it was, so now that he lived in a word full of fucking colorful ponies, how was he going to live, did they even approve of carnivore's? Ok first he'd need befriend the mane six, then? then what? he didn't know. perhaps he'd be allowed to life outside of town, perhaps he'd need to find work later on to pay for fish and goods ect.

What he really did need right now however was a good drink, to just get really drunk and forget this entire thing ever happened. Of course since this was officially kids show he doubted alcohol even existed here, too bad he couldn't snap his fingers and have a bottle appear out of thin air. Wait, it suddenly dawned, he was some kind of mismatched creature, and the only other one like him was Discord, a draconequus. Was it unreasonable to assume he was also one, 'heck, I've seen his fair share of schitt today so why not'. Considering he was in a cartoon it almost seemed likely.

Standing up he snapped his fingers "Annnd, Smirnoff!", Absolutely nothing happened. Maybe he'd have to be more specific, or have a clear idea of what he wanted visualized. he looked down at the grass and imagined there to be a bottle of southern comfort to be sitting on the floor. he stared for ten seconds, 'oh thats right I forgot the snap'

He tried again but with Smirnoff.


"Mother of god" there on the floor was a bottle of Smirnoff, sitting in all it's mind rotting glory. It almost brought a tear to his eye's, but that wasn't what was on Mark's mind at the moment, he had just willed something into existence, he had powers.

"my god... I've got HAX!", throwing his hands up in the air and beginning to laugh in an insane manor, he spun around and began jumping with pure joyful euphoria, he couldn't remember a time he'd been this happy. He just found out he could do anything. 'Well according to what discord could do anyway.' Would he also live forever?

With a big shit eating grin on his face, he reached down and grabbed the bottle of Smirnoff, twisted off the cap and- it was empty, "The fuck?", he looked inside to find there wasn't even a drop to behold, 'of course' he thought sarcastically, he stood for around 3 seconds disappointed before he realized he should have imagined it full of Smirnoff, he did so and clicked his fingers. it was now full. "Sweeeeet"...

wait, this was probably a bad idea, he shouldn't just down a whole bottle of this stuff while in his current situation, it could end with him encased in stone or something... on the other hand, he was pretty stressed out right now, perhaps just a bit to take the edge off.


"THE HORROR, THE HORROR", panicked screams of mares gripped the streets as a wasted Mark staggered through them, laughing and mumbling about crazy talking horses. An almost empty bottle clasped in his claw being waved around randomly as he tried desperately to keep his non-existent balance.

Pandemonium filled the streets, everypony was screaming and as he neared one mare simply passed out, the fear was to much for her apparently. Cries of "Monster" and "attacking" reached his ears and he looked around. "whoa.. cool, whera!?!". then he fell over the unconscious mare, landing in an undignified heap. He didn't get back up, he just lay there and laughed hysterically, after which he finished the last of his beverage at which point it didn't even burn his throat.

After a good two minuets of drunkenly admiring the dirt, he attempted to get back up but fell over not seconds later. seems he was stuck there. He didn't care at all.

Meanwhile the streets were now empty and an eerie silence filled the air, for a while, nothing happened except for a few incomprehensible ramblings from Mark. Then a rainbow maned Pegasus came barreling out of the sky and landed aggressively in front of where Mark lay. She didn't really know what to make of the large creature other then that he was apparently attacking the town earlier, just the thought riled her up.

"hey pal, get up so I can fight you".

"wha..ho ainow dsh tis is fukin crazy" she didn't understand a word he just said so she kicked the thing. it didn't garner any noticeable reaction.

"Are you deaf, nobody messes with my town while I'm around" she shouted angrily. "and get your stupid feet off Lilly!" she gestured to the unconscious pony.

"..." he didn't respond. instead he stretched slightly and looked over at a nearby building apparently having lost interest.

"hey buddy, get outta here!"

"nnnoooo" he slurred, laughing stupidly afterwards.

This thing was really starting to irritate her now, it attacked the town and then just lies there, "listen wise guy, ima give you to the count of three before I start a beatdown, one, two..-"

"wait!" she was cut off by an out of breath Twilight sparkle. She stood next to rainbow dash and looked at the creature with an incredulous expression.

"I'm sure there's just been a simple misunderstanding here", she gasped still regaining her breath.

"But twilight, look at this monster, he's all messed up, and he has sharp teeth!".

"Rainbow dash, this is the same situation as with Zecora, I'm sure there simply been a misunderstanding"

Dash huffed.

"Ahem* sir... are you ok, my friend didn't hurt you did she?".

"yur on crsy takin horse twilot, oh god ths is awsum",

"Dear Celestia, he's delusional!, he must be really sick, come on rainbow dash we have to help him!" she now wore a concerned face as Dash reluctently agreed to drag the creature back to the library, when asked why they didn't drag it to the hospital she replied they'd have no idea how to treat such a thing and would probably do more harm then good, instead an answer may lie in one of her books to what ailed the unfortunate creature.

The door to the library opened and an out of breath Twilight followed by a bored looking dash trudged in, carrying a rambling creature on their backs, his lower body and feet dragging along the ground. "Hey Twilight I got that book you order- what's that!".

"no time to explain spike, this creature is sick and needs help". They deposited the creature on the floor a ways from the door.

"OK, so what is it?" Spike asked nonplussed. "not now spike, he's showing really sick, OK lets see, creature is showing signs of ataxia, loss of coordination, slurred speech, impaired cognition, redness of eye's, I've never seen this type of thing before, he could b having some kind of stroke or-"

"ACTUALLY , maybe he's just wasted ya'know, I mean I can smell booze on him" interrupted rainbow dash causally.

"yea..... or that". Mark had passed out by this point.


chapter 2

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Authors note: In advance I apologize for the Point of view in this story being screwy, it's mostly second person but jumps around from character to character.


A deep inhale sounded through the Darkness.

The hard floor of the library was all that greeted mark as he regained consciousness, he almost fell asleep again until he realized he wasn't passed out on grass 'god lord what have I done now'. His head hurt, he felt like shit and having been sleeping on his back both is wings had fallen asleep, he could just tell they were going to be a major inconvenience.

Opening his eye's he realized he was indoors, although it was too dark to actually make out any of the details surrounding him, but he got a weird feeling of Daja Vo. A quick glance towards a window confirmed that it was still dark out, "uhgh..." he managed to eventually get to his feet groggily at which point he saw all the books. He sighed tiredly "Of course...", he just happened to be in Twilight's library. He thought it ironic as it was the exact same thing that happened in far to many a fanfiction., hell, Perhaps his life had actually become a badly written fanfiction,

wait, Did they seriously just leave him on the floor, 'what a bunch of jerks!', The first thing he tried to do was remember what had transpired yesterday. So far the very last thing he could squeeze from his brain was him heading towards Ponyville with a half emptied bottle of vodka. 'I'm retarded...' no seriously, what the fuck was he thinking going on a drunken adventure when he had no idea what was going on.

"Urgh" he groaned again and flopped back onto the floor, he had passed out midday yesterday so of course he'd wake up in the middle of the night. He was painfully reminded of his hangover was he was temporarily overcome with nausea and thrist. 'That's right, I've had nothing to eat or drink for ages'. What he wouldn't give for a glass of water, screw the ponies, he was so thirsty...Actually he could remedy that, for now he had hacks! he could just make a glass of water.

Snapping his fingers a glass of water appeared and dropped to the floor spilling it's contends everywhere and almost making it look like he pissed himself. 'well this is a fine start to the day' he thought to himself sarcastically. This time he made a water bottle, and promptly downed the thing as if his life depended on it.

Well now that that was taken care of, he needed somewhere to sleep, he wasn't just going to wait around or wake his temporary landlord now was he. napping his fingers a king-sized mattress appeared on the floor in the middle of the library. Quite frankly he didn't even care how he was going to explain this. "yea, This is fucking awesome" he exclaimed before diving onto it. Snap, now there was a quilt too, he loved these powers. Now to just go to sleep and wait until morning when he could calmly explain himself or run away.

Except he had already slept for more then A day and couldn't even close his eye's. He should have thought that through.

Sighing he sat up on the mattress and stared at the wall, maybe he could head a book. Getting up he advanced towards the bookcase and grabbed one at random. The text was messed up, he could recognize it but it looked like backwards children's writing. 'wtf ponies, what bullfuckery is this' he could still kind of read it, it was just surprisingly difficult to decipher. After a minuet he managed to gleam that the book was about cloud physics or some such shit. sounded interesting actually, but he couldn't read it.

Sigh... fuck he was hungry, he'd been hungry yesterday when he was walking through the forest, now he was starving. But what could he eat here, 'all they have here were hay-fries and shit', but wait, he could just summon a porkchop, absolutely nothing could go wrong! Turning towards an empty space of the room, he imagined there to be a porkchop, *Snap*, the damp piece of raw meat dropped to the floor. He should have cooked it. 'shit... y'know I'm starting to sound like a broken record here, I should really stop being so pessimistic' He'd keep that in mind.

But for now there was a wet piece of meat sitting there on the dirty floor, he wasn't eating anything from the floor. The fact it was raw came second place. What a freak. Wait, perhaps he could cook it before it started to smell, and kill off all the germs and crap clinging to it. He Held his arm out and prepared to try something completely different, if he created a fire in his had he could hover it over the pork and cook it. of course the library was mad of wood but he'd be careful.

A screeching torrent of fire burst forth from his palm and engulfed the pork, as well as all the wood within a meter of it. 'OH FUCK!' well now there was a gigantic scorch mark surrounding the food, but at least the dam thing was cooked, on further investigation it was actually burned. damn it. He just sat and stared at the culinary disaster for a good 5 seconds before he heard a commotion upstairs. 'Of course that woke Twilight'. Panic gripped his mind.

Starting to breath quickly he glanced around, he'd made a fine mess, but the thing that came first was the piece of meat sitting in the middle of the floor, what would they say about that, ponies wouldn't even consider pigs a food source, so this was like having a human hand lying on the floor to them, this would not end well if discovered.

Thinking quickly he grabbed the porkchop and shoved it into his mouth, then he gagged. The thing was still raw on one side, while the other was practically a piece of coal! he couldn't eat this. Attempting to wipe off the dust and black charcoal now embedded in his tongue, he looked around desperately for somewhere he could stash the meat so he could deal with it later, he couldn't just stash it in a bookshelf, it'd stink up the place, maybe he should throw it outside. Yea that sounded goo- TO LATE, he heard the tell tale clip-clops of hoofsteps coming down the top of the stairs. thinking quickly (or at least acting quickly) he dashed over (fell forward and landed on the floor) lifted up the mattress and threw the burned chop underneath.

It took him a few seconds, 'Yep.... I'm retarded'

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON DOWN THERE!" yelled twilight, annoyed and ratty at having been woken up at 4 in the morning. The lights flickered on and she stopped the the top of the stairs taking in the scene and the mismatched creature at the center of it.

Mark just stared blankly like a toddler caught in the act of stealing a cookie, he looked at the Mattress, then back at Twilight, then to the knocked over glass and then finally to the massive scorch mark taking up a large portion of the library's floor, and then back to the exasperated Twilight. "AH, well, you see, I can totally explain this.... actually no I can't, I'm really sorry, it was an accident!".

"Dear Celestia, what did you do!" she whined in a high pitch while glancing at the carnage below, "and where did that mattress come from!?!" which caused Mark to grimace.

"eerrr...." He looked around. "well you see, um... you know what, I have no reasonable explanation for this, how can I make it up to you?"

Twilight stared at him for a moment somewhat flabbergasted "well, you can start by telling me how you got that mattress, and why there's a gigantic scorch mark in my library!".

He decided to just come clean, she'd probably and hopefully understand. "well I made that bed, and the scorch marks were due to an accident in making my breakfast".

Twilight sighed heavily,"OK, but how'd you get a mattress in here anyway".

"I didn't, I just made it, snapped it into being kinda like discord can, I'm a draconequus too y'know" 'OK the fuck did I say that for'. That was obviously the wrong thing to say, as Twilight had taken an unsure step back and seemed to be having several flashbacks of the beginning of season two. That was the worst thing he could possibly have said, as now she'd probably think he was some kind of chaos producing monster. "Of course, don't get me wrong, I'm not here to cause chaos or anything, I'm, uh.... here to chill'n stuff? and um... make.. friends..." He added unsure.

It seemed to calm Twilight somewhat, although she was still freaked out about the whole situation. There was a brief award silence as they both stared at each other unsure of what the other was thinking, until Twilight spoke.

"Well if you're not here to cause trouble, I guess it could be OK for you to stay in Ponyville for a while" He inwardly jumped for joy. "Just one question however, what are you doing here, why come to ponyville, it seems suspicious that you'd come to where the Elements of Harmony live out of all the other places in Equestria".

He sighed, once again he couldn't think of anything so he'd just tell the partial truth. "well you see, that's the problem, I have no idea where I am, I just woke up in the forest with these powers, never even lived anywhere near ponyville"

"You just woke up as a different creature?"


She seemed to be having a hard time accepting his story, and looked pretty suspicious, "Forgive me if your story seems a bit far fetched to me"

Mark grumbled, then said "yes... well..." another uncomfortable awkward silence reigned. "hey look I'm really sorry about the floor, IS there any way I can make it up to you, hey you can keep the mattress, Spike could use a new bed"

"wha.. how do you know who spike is!? have you been stalking us!" Oh god now she really was suspicious, 'quick mark think of a comeback!'

"I ...ah... I Heard his name mentioned...yesterday.." He cursed the fact that his voice was very slightly high pitched.

"I thought you were passed out?" she questioned aggressively .

"Apparently not completely". he replied causally, trying to make it sound convincing but not doing a terribly good job of it.

"Alright..." she said eye's narrowing, obviously very suspicious and not believing a word of what he was saying.

Mark suddenly found himself frustrated "god.. ok look! if I had any malevolent intentions I would have done something by now, so far I've done nothing aggressive towards you or others"


"THAT WA- wait, you ponies have alcohol?!? Wow" He said in mild astonishment.

"Wha.. what kind of question is that?!?" she replied exasperated

"Oh it's just with you all being tiny pastel colored ponies I would never have thought that...." he trailed off.

"....Thought what? go on?" The thought of this creature making assumptions of ponies offended her for some reason, as if the insult to her race was to her personally, that and she disliked this creature. there was something seriously off about him.

"um.... I just thought.... you'know that's not even relevant, sorry what were we talking about again?" Trying to change the subject, apparently he was now racist or something.

"alright... we were talking about you coming into town intoxicated" By this point she was growing frustrated, again being woken up to find a mess downstairs didn't help.

"Ah that well, I was kinda stressed out y'know, woke up as a draconequus with no idea what was going on... hey do you know if there's anywhere I could get a bite to eat around here?"

For a few seconds she just stared at him with a scowl, he was dodging questions again, and clearly he had been lying to her earlier. She'd have to keep an eye on him.

"Sorry I didn't catch your name?" she added before going back to bed.

'I should really think of something cool'



Turning around she called up the stairs, "Spike, go make our guest something to eat", she got a grumble in reply. Trudging back upstairs Twilight Decided she'd have to inform princess Celestia about the suspicious creature in the morning, but for now it was time to go back to bed. The creature seemed harmless enough, but he clearly had an interior motive for being here. And he was a terrible liar.

Back with Mark who was standing and watching Twilight disappear upstairs. 'Wow, did she really just disturb spike because she couldn't be bothered to help me herself? What an inconsiderate bitch'. He always loved the Twilight from the show, but this new one he disliked. Maybe it was because she was ratty, or didn't like him he pondered.

Around 20 seconds later, the light padding of tiny dragon feet could be heard coming down the stairs, an almost asleep spike descended like a zombie. his eye's had visible bags under them and Mark couldn't help but feel sorry for the small dragon. He reached the bottom and plodded along the floor past mark, "Right this way" he said tiredly. He obviously could not be bothered with this shit. What was he eight? Mark wondered, he shouldn't be treated like a shivie.

"hey look, I'm really sorry you had to get up just to get me food, I'm Mark by the way" Mark said apologetically.

Spike just waved it off,"no worries, say what are you anyway, never seen anything like you before"

"oh, I'm like a dragon thing... a draconequus, kinda like discord" 'fuck again!, what the hell is wrong with me'

Spike gasped dramatically and jumped back fearfully "you're just like discord, are you here to cause chaos!?" Mark sighed, he could tell the baby dragon was scared of him, but he was quick to jump to conclusions, which reminded Mark that spike was just a kid despite his maturity, perhaps he was gullible enough to believe he was trustworthy and harmless, not that he wasn't or anything.

"NO, no of course not, I'm just here to chill, so uh... chill I guess". At that spike relaxed greatly and heaved a sigh of relief.

"Ok... so what's it like being a dragone-thing?"

"pretty sweet" replied mark.

They arrived at the kitchen area and Spike looked expectantly at mark as if to say elaborate.

"Sorry, but that's all you're getting outta me" he couldn't stand kids constantly asking things. the look of mild disappointment in spikes face didn't even deter him in the slightest.

"so what'd you like" Spike asked walking towards the cupboards.

After giving it some thought Mark decided since he was part dragon, maybe he'd like gems, "got any Gems?".

Spike stopped, a scowl came upon his face and he stood there for a second. 'First this guy wakes me up now he's after my delicious gems' "sorry guy.... we're all out". He didn't sound convincing the in least, but inside he was laughing evilly.

Mark looked at spike, then his stomach rumbled, "OK, just one, I've never had gems before"

"Never!?" spike gasped, OK he guessed he could give him one. A red one, they were his least favorite. Opening a cupboard door, he reached in and brought out a basket half filled with gems, he carefully looked around before pulling out a small red ruby, and tossing it to Mark.

Mark failed to catch it, and succeeded in making himself look like a knob with no hand eye coordination, although to be fair he was in a new and mismatched body. Picking it up he took a bite. To his amazment his teeth just sliced through the thing, probably magic he thought.

'Mother of god... they taste like strawberries' only they were much more potent in flavor, he could see why dragons were addicted to these things. One he read in a fanfic that they were like crystallized magic, formed in abundance around Equestria because of the magical saturation levels. Regardless they tasted fucking awesome.

"dude...can I have another" Mark said quickly and causally.

"no" replied spike with a scowl on his face. Ok mark could live with that, poor kid had to eat, that and he didn't want yet another enemy, Also it may be shallow but mark thought that because spike writes the letters, it'd be a bad idea to be on bad terms, as when that inevitable letter to the princess was sent, he'd rather there was a positive spin on it. 'Wow, I'm such a shallow jerk' he thought. And manipulative apparently.

OK he had an idea of how to win spikes trust, the dragon seemed to like gems, and kids are pretty easy to manipulate in that you give them candy, he snapped his fingers and there appeared an exact replication of the gen he'd just eaten, he repeated this a few times and there sat a pile of rubies. 'wow, back home I'd be rich as fuck by now'

Spikes eye's widened in absolute amazement. "You can Make gems!".

"yea, I'm just as powerful as Discord apparently" mark replied, although he started thinking where the hell did his power actually come from, it'd take more magic to make the gems then he could get from eating them, so where did the magic come from, perhaps he was just some kind of god now. "hey how about this, you give me one of each gem and I'll make more for you, how's about that?" 'Ah the gullibility of childhood' he paused 'I sound like some kind of pedophile here, wtf'

That was irrelevant however, as spike had a massive smile on his face, seems that he'd made at least one friend in this new world. Yes, he was essentially using spike to lessen the impact on that letter he knew'd be going out, but all the same it was progress at least.

Chapter 3

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The sun was just peaking over the horizon as Mark finished the first chapter of supernaturals. He'd spent the last three hours trying to decipher the bastardized English Lettering that was the Equestrian language, which was essentially an occasionally backwards messed up form of English. By this point he'd managed to gain a basic understanding and could read 13 words a minuet, oh and he was catatonically bored.

'Thank god, it's finally day time', he said with no degree of enthusiasm, that reminded him, he'd have to deal with the whole situation he was in soon, and there was probably going to be some kind of confrontation once Twilight sent that letter. 'Or maybe not just yet...'. He had an idea, what if Twilight didn't send the letter. Today at least. But how could he stop her from sending the letter, he was sure she hadn't woken up yet, so there was still a chance. All he'd have to do is spend time with her, she wouldn't write a letter about him if he was standing right there.

'Actually that's probably a bad idea' he just remembered he didn't like Twilight anymore, if only because of the poor circumstances of their first meeting. Maybe he could go help himself to something to eat, he could always replace the food he ate anyway. (which was rather a moronic way of thinking as he could just eat the food he made).


After crawling through the kitchen door which was two sizes too small for him. He procured himself a generous helping of obsidian (which wasn't even a gemstone) and emeralds and sat on the floor next to a rather small table. 'I'm sitting in Twilight's Library helping myself to her food.... never thought I'd get to a point in my life where that sentence would make perfect sense', for the next few moments he sat peacefully eating his exotic breakfast before quickly becoming bored.

His tail was whipping around behind him as he attempted to learn how to control it, he started lightly punching the table partly out of boredom and partly out of OCD. *sigh* He looked around the room and quickly found himself becoming bored. He was trapped in My Little Pony-verse and he was becoming bored, what was wrong with him. *BZZt* He stopped halfway though eating an emerald, his heart-rate soaring. 'was that a fly' he wondered gleefully.

He loved killing flies, with extreme prejudice, he'd catch the little sods and pull their wings off, and kill them in a variety of ways. His hatred of flies stemmed from the fact that they annoyed the hell out of him, that was it. They just infuriated him.

*BZZZZZ* 'There! there's the little bastard!' he spotted the fly buzzing obnoxiously around the ceiling like the smug little bugger it was. He'd soon change that. Standing up he crept towards the fly, staring at it like a lion stalking a gazelle, with full intent to put the fly to quick and messy end... or a slow one if he managed to catch the damned thing. Suddenly he lunged at it, the fly just flew away at the last second and as if to taunt him flew around his body, as if mocking him.

"you little mother fucker" mark whispered venomously as his mountainous frustrations grew and the fly just continued to mock him like the smug little bastard it was. 'Oh look at me, I'ma a fly and you can't catch me wanker, hur hur hur' he imagined the fly talking down to him, mocking and taunting him relentlessly as it ducked and weaved around him. It had to die, now it was personal.

Using his Superior mammalian intelligence, or was it now reptile? He Quickly deduced that he'd need something big and flat to swat it with, so that it couldn't avoid the crippling blow that would probably paralyze it, then when it was lying on the floor, half dead and crippled, he'd go finish it off. Slowly. He decided a book would be best for the job.

Heading out into the main part of the library, he glanced around looking for a particularly large book, he found his gaze drawn to the book resting on the wooden stand, it looked important, on the other hand it was massive. 'Twilight would probably be pretty mad if I took it...' but on the other hand it was perfect for crippling flies, and if had to do one thing before he died, it was murder that obnoxious fly, It was personal.

"I'll put it back before she even realizes", slyly he slinked over to the bookcase, "yonk" and the book was gone.




*THUD*.... *THUD* "urgh"

Her blissful sleep was interrupted due to two loud thuds and resultant vibrations coming from directly below her bed. "uuurrrrrrr" she groaned and pulled the covers over her head. Intent to just ignore whatever that noise was and get back to sleep.

*Crash* Her eye's burst open, "DEAR CELESTIA I'M TRYING TO SLEEP" she shot up in bed and glanced around momentarily disorientated and bleary eyed. *Thud* "URGH! WHAT'S HE DOING NOW!". She jumped out of bed and stomped over to the door, her mane and tail were a mess, frizzed up due to lack of sleep and stress.

Another clattering sounded down stairs and Twilight let loose a growl of frustration. She'd be having words.




'whelp I'm fucked' Mark was lying on the floor in a pile of gems, he'd fallen into the table and sent the bowl and it's contents rocketing everywhere as well as producing a hideous screeching sound as the table legs rubbed against the flooring. Not to mention the bowl shattering against the floor. There was no way that hadn't woken Twilight and Spike.

Panic filled his mind as he got up and paced nervously around the kitchen, he was fucked. 'oh god why', now he was going to be in so much trouble, it pained him to think about what would be in that letter to Celetia, he'd be turned into stone for sure, 'why am I such a moron'. And it was all that fly's fault, if it hadn't reared it's ugly head here he'd be in the clear, 'fuck it' he though, he was already screwed, but he'd be dammed if he didn't take that fucking fly with him.

Picking up the rather large and important looking book with his right arm, he gave one last almighty swing towards the fly, flattening it completely against the ceiling.


"WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU DOING" screamed Twilight in a fit of shock and rage, her bloodshot eye's glaring at Mark.

Mark turned like a Deer caught in the head lights and suddenly relized the situation he was in 'yep, I'm retarded' Of course he couldn't actually bring himself to be afraid of something just under half his size, but he was definitely intimidated.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! YOU CAN'T-" *gasp* "IS THAT THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY: A REFERENCE GUIDE!!" she seethed in absolute horror and rage.

Mark just stared for a few seconds, stretched out his arms and looked down at the damaged book with a small frown. There on the cover in perfect English was the title: The Elements Of Harmony: A Reference Guide". The spine was now bent and the edges blunted due to being bashed against the Ceiling.

Cringing, he answered wide eyed "...Yes.... yes it is" he was so screwed.

Twilight stood huffing and panting in rage, on the verge of a tantrum and barely containing her anger. She managed to calm herself enough to ask one question through gritted teeth. "why..."

"Ah well... you see...there was a fly-" Twilight's eye twitched. "- and it was buzzing around so I had to get...get rid... of it..." *gulp*

"FFFFFF-" Twilight was having a meltdown, her face had turned red and she gritted her teeth in pure, unadulterated rage the likes of which was not seen since discord turned Celetia's mane into cotton candy and subsequently ate it in front of her.

"I am so sorry Twilight, ho-" he was cut off.



"GET OUT!. GET OUT OF MY LIBRARY YOU, YOU MENACE!" she screamed in fury .





It was a presently warm early morning outside Twilight's Library, left and right ponies milled about doing their own thing, going about their daily and lives traveling to work. It was peaceful and serene, they'd all recovered from yesterdays monster attack. The entire place just exuded a happy atmosphere. Then there came a noise from the front door of the library.

Everypony looked towards the door as it tore open with a heavy thud, and a wide eye'd creature came staggering out being roughly shoved by a pulsating field of red magic only to fall forward and face-plant the dirt. Twilight stomped over to the door, stood on her hind-legs, her forelegs pushing on ether side of the door frame, and leaned forward aggressively with a look of rage and great annoyance upon her face. "AND DON'T BOTHER COMING BACK, YOU'RE BANNED!" Turning she slammed the doors with all the force she could muster, creating a terrible SLAM that shook leaves from the tree.

Mark meanwhile was face down in the dirt, he got up and brushed himself off only to stop and stare wide eyed upon noticing 20 or more sets of eye's on him. 'Oh crap, well this is embarrassing'. He glanced around, the ponies staring at him held incredulous and nonplussed expressions, some looked unsure, another fearful and one highly amused. It was quite disconcerting for him.

It was relatively silent compared to before, creepy in fact.Nopony said a word, they were still staring, 'say something', "...well this is awkward....". Instantly the murmuring started, ponies huddled around and talked in hushed voices, occasionally glancing back at the uneasy draconequus who was obviously the center of their attention.

Ok this was just plain rude, he was right here and they were talking about him, a couple of times he overheard the terms 'monster' and 'thing'. If he was physically able he'd be blushing bright red by now. 'Stupid ponies' He was being made very uncomfortable by this and decided just standing outside the library wasn't going to remedy anything.

Setting off he began walking awkwardly down the road, where? He had no idea, he just wanted to get away from this insufferable crowd. The houses started passing him as he walked down some kind of high street, he'd been walking for around five second before he realized he was being quietly followed by a crowd of curious ponies. 'of course, I should had know they'd start following me' hell if he'd seen a strange non-aggressive creature in the street, he'd follow it in a crowd too, so he couldn't really blame them.

"Mommy, why's there a monster wandering around the town' said one adorable little foal on her way to school. "I don't know honey, maybe it'll go away if you ignore it" came the carefree reply. OK that really was just rude, and insensitive, But it wasn't like they hated him for being different or anything he reasoned. They just used the term monster to causally describe an unusual creature. It brought to mind how Iron Will was referred to in 'putting your hoof down'. 'wow, these ponies are like, racist or something'

...Were they STILL following him. As he stopped, so did the soft whispers coming from the sizable crowed of ponies following behind him from a safe distance. Tuning around with a scowl on his face, Mark was once again faced with complete silence and a miniature army of staring ponies. They were really starting to creep him out, nervous as he was his annoyance was also beginning to grow, "What?" he asked bringing his arms up horizontal. When he didn't get a response he considered using his new powers to escape. 'Couldn't Discord teleport and fly' he mused?

OK Teleporting was out, he'd probably frighten them and it just seemed downright dangerous, not to mention the fact he had nowhere in mind. Flying it was then. He unfurled his mismatched wings and gave a few experimental flaps, which both made the crowd flinch and gave no lift whatsoever. He tried to flap harder but nothing came of it other then making himself look like a nob. He jumped once and put all his power into his wings, and nothing happened. Perhaps Discords flight was magical in nature. 'Makes sense' he thought, as nothing he'd encountered thus far should have been able to fly according to the laws of physics alone.

But for now he had another problem. Giggles rung out through the crowed as a few of the braver mares started laughing at the strange display, seconds later a few more joined in. Mark looked left and right uncomfortably, they were laughing at him. He annoyance had reached a peak, "Hey, That's not funny I can't fly" 'why don't I ever think before I speak' he reflected mortified. Sure enough just as he predicted a chorus of laughter rang out, all directed at him. Children and adult alike joined in laughing at the ridiculous creature that couldn't even use it's wings.

Ok now this was really starting to piss him off, he hated being laughed at. In the spirit of not thinking before he spoke, he bellowed out in a tone of mild annoyance "HEY!, shut the fuck up! It's not funny OK".

Gasps seemed to come from everywhere at once as mothers tried to shield their children's ears and stallions snorted in disgust. The crowd started slowly dispersing, he received angry and repulsed glares from everypony present, and even from a few mules and cows too.

"what?" he asked in absolute confusion, "The hell did I- OH, oh that is...." Sigh 'Ohhhh, I get it....Apparently I've said a "no no" word, and everyone's all fuckin butthurt over it, goddammit, they're like small fucking children' Apparently ponies took swearing very seriously, it was a kids show after-all. 'I'm beginning to dislike these ponies'

One again Mark found himself blanketed in silence, only this time he was all alone. He stood there in the middle of the street with a scowl on his face, watching the very last of the ponies disperse before looking at the sky and then back to the ground. Sighing heavily he turned around-

*BANG* "OH JESUS CHRIST AHHHH" he let loose a rather girlish scream and fell flat on his back after his legs collapsed underneath him. Colorful Streamers and confetti rained down upon him and a tacky string instrument musical started playing in the background. He stared wide eye'd and took a deep breath while clutching his chest.

"Welcome to ponyville! I'm Pinkie Pie, what's your name!" enthusiastically shouted Pinkie Pie in front of her welcome wagon. She wore a large smile on her face and seemed to exude an upbeat atmosphere of happiness, quite unlike the draconequus now lying on the floor in utter shock.

*Gasp* "you sacred the crap outta me pinkie!" he said attempting to get up and brush the streamers off his face. It felt so wierd to actually talk to cartoon characters, but he wasn't complaining.

"Oh silly mee I must have snuck up on you" she laughed warmly.

"right..." mark said unsure of what to say next.

"Welcome,Welcome,Welcome, I say how do you do..." Pinkie began singing as she hoped around and pulled a large drum out of nowhere. Mark stared blankly, he couldn't help but remember this as the Welcome to ponyiville song from 'A friend indeed', 'This is awesome'

She finished with a grin.

"hey, you look just like discord,well not exactly like discord but similar, so when'd you first come to ponyville, what's your name again, can you make it rain chocolate?!" she asked happily. 'Straight to the point' though Mark. 'I like it'.

"Yes, I am just like Discord, I got here yesterday, names Mark, and I could make it rain chocolate", Mark was always on the verge of bragging about his new powers, they were awesome. At the mention of chocolate like Pinkies face lit up.

"Your name's Mark? is your special talent target practice? Could you pretty please make it rain chocolate milk" begged Pinkie half desperate, half insanely happy.

Mark paused as if thinking, 'My powers are only really limited by imagination, if I can imagine it happening I can do it.. so chocolate rain clouds?'. "Sure", he snapped his fingers after concentrating on an image of what he wanted to happen. Sure enough a cotton candy cloud appeared and started raining down chocolate on the pink party pony, Who squealed in delight and started rolling around in it.

"This is just Fan-Tastic! we could have a welcome to ponyville party, it'd be called a welcome to ponyville, make it rain chocolate party!" she fired off hyperactivity, apparently liking the chocolate rain. "There could be chocolate rain for EVERYPONY! Everypony gets there own cloud!"

This seemed to good to be true for mark, although it was Pinkie pie... "huh, aren't you the least bit paranoid about me being evil or something?"

She cheerfully answered "Oh silly of course not, you've been here for two days now, you would have done something by now".

He paused for a while "THAT'S WHAT I SAID!".

"See you tonight at sugarcube corner for the WTPMIRC party!" she said bounding off down the street towards the library.

"huh.." 'what a strange day this has been' thought mark before walking onward, maybe he'd visit sweet apple acres next, it was less crowded.

chapter 4

View Online

Authors note: do not try and make sense of this, just imagine exactly what the story says.




Mark lounged on the couch at sugar cube corner, the walls were decorated in colorful streamers and the entire room seemed to be steeped in an atmosphere of serenity. Rarity sat at a table with Fluttershy sipping the finest red wine while Applejack and rainbow dash busied themselves with a drinking contest. Mark had to admit this was a pretty sweet party.

It didn't last long.

"Mark!" screamed Twilight angrily, with a snarl on her face, "look at what you did" she pointed to an area on the floor covered in liquid chocolate. The clouds were leaking everywhere, Pinkie proceeded to roll around in the sticky semi-coagulated mess. *Sigh* guess he'd have to clean it up. picking up the mop he trudged unenthusiastic over to the mess and started moping it up, only to realize it now covered the entire floor, not one bit was left visible due to the coating of chocolate.

Pinkie giggled in the background "What an awesome party!"


Rainbow Dash sauntered over carrying a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels, "sup" she stated coolly.

"Holy shit you ponies have Jack Daniel, I take it back ponies are awesome" Mark said in amazement. Seriously, Jack Daniels.

"f-yeah, what you- they're here".

"Wha-" Mark was interrupted as a horde of zombie ponies rudely burst through the windows and doors. "OH FUCK THAT SHIT" mark overturned the couch and hid underneath. From his vantage point he could see Rarity being devoured, the horde overwhelmed her and brought her to her knee's, clawing at her face and leaving long scratches.

The horde began tearing lumps of flesh from her torso and limbs as Rarity screamed in absolute horror and agony. Her Rib-cage was bashed in and then torn outwards, she coughed up several globs of blood and viscera as teeth sank into her lungs and chest cavity, snapping her ribs with an audible SNAP.

*BANG* A well placed round from a Winchester penetrated right between the eye's of one unlucky zombie. "git outta my town yer undead varmints" demanded applejack as she began reloading her shotgun. Mark just sat in the corner sipping his drink, 'I'm sure they got it under control', no he should really help actually. Alright fine he'd go get his rife. He pulled out a baseball bat, that works too.

Pinkie and Fluttershy had been eaten. "THIS IS REALLY BAD" screamed Twilight as she glared angrily at Mark, as if this was his fault. 'what the hell Twilight'. The undead were closing in, shot after shot rained down upon them but for every zombie to fall another two would take it's place. "SHIT! I'm outta ammo" cried Applejack, who was covered in bites and scratches from the previous battle.

Luna burst into the room dual wielding two Tombstone shotguns suspended in mid air by her magical aurora, "THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED" she bellowed as she began blasting away, but alas the shear number of undead crammed into the alleyway was simply too much and bit by bit the horde started gaining ground, climbing over the deanimated to reach their quarry.

"We're not gonna make it", Applejack had given up and solemnly awaited her fate, sitting on the ground and closing her eye's, a lone tear traveling down her cheek.

"Not if I have anything to say about it" Luna steped forward boldly, "EVERYONE GET BEHIND ME" she bellowed in the royal Canterlot voice.

The horde surged forward yet Luna stood firm against the impending onslaught. she parted her lips.








"FUS RO DAH!" a wall of pure energy burst from her jaw and decimated the zombie horde, bit's of brick scraped off the wall due to the shear power contained by the Thum, the first zombie to be hit simply vaporized into a red myst, such was the skill Luna displayed in the ancient language of dragons. They had survived.

But all was not well, as Celestia came forward, dressed in heavy paladin armor, it's golden glow shinning brilliantly from the aurora cast from her horn. Luna joined her side dressed in leather armor and a horned dovahkiin helmet. "WE HAVE COME TO PUT AN END TO YOUR EVIL MARK!"

Mark looked down at them from his pointed ebony throne, they dared confront him in his own dark citadel? He laughed darkly "Fools, so what if you managed to get past my army of rabid necromorphs, you are no match for my power" He stood and unsheathed his crimson lightsaber, standing to face the sister in glorious combat. Then he remembered he couldn't fight and so just teleported an intermediate amount of air into Luna's skull cavity, she stood still for a second before her eye's and nose began to bleed, when she collapsed. Dead.

"Luna nooooooo!" gasped Celestia in horror, while she was grieving Mark finished her off my shooting her in the back with a magnum.

"HA-ha-hahahahaha!" Mark laughed, he'd done it, Equestia had fallen and his new tyrannical reign could begin, the rivers would run red with pony- *BZZt* 'no' turning in horror he saw what he had feared most, the fly. That same fly he killed had come back to avenge it's death, throwing it's lightsaber, the fly used the force to guide it's weapon directly at Mark, cutting him in half. As Mark continued bleeding out, falling to his death down the death stars firing chamber, he though back to all the countless atrocities he'd brought about in his wake. His only regret was dying.




*Gasp* Mark awoke suddenly, taking deep breaths. His face was obscured by a quilt cover, he was lying on a comfortable bed in the middle of some dirty backstreet alleyway, complete with pillow and bedside orange juice, not bad for a hobo. "Holy shit... that was the single greatest dream I have ever had". Of course there were a few disturbing things about that dream, for one he was a complete monster by the end of it. But his guilt quickly dissipated when he realized he didn't do any of those things.

Sitting up on the bed, he gazed around at the blackened rundown brickwork surrounding the dead end he was camping out it, it looked filthy. Of course Mark didn't care in the slightest, he had his nice warm bed, his pillows and quilt.Thinking back he'd gone to sleep hours ago after getting Thoroughly fed up with the way ponies were treating him.

They'd given him a wide birth and constantly glanced in his direction muttering and talking about him behind his back, often he'd pass some ponies who happened to be in the same crowd from his earlier outburst. They'd sneer and shoot him dirty looks, no doubt they'd go round telling all the other ponies and then the entire town would know. He'd imagine gossip would spread like wildfire in this place. Heck some of the posher ponies would simply look down on him, casually referring to him as an 'it' and making offensive comments as if he couldn't understand them. 'Damn Canterlot snobs'.

Eventually he'd just gotten fed up with that bullshit and wandered into some backstreet alleyway to escape their ignorance. He'd quickly gotten bored, snapped up a bed and some food and sat down to think about what he'd do next. Of course he'd quickly fallen asleep and then had that amazing dream, 'But what the fuck was with the ending, seriously a fly!?' Na, he'd better not dwell on it.

Getting up he sauntered through the dark passage until he emerged into ponyville proper, the setting sun's glare was obscuring his veiw and- oh shit he was late for that party! Panic gripped his mind, "Fuck... if I'm not there then I've blown my only chance to turn things around, I'll have made a horrible impression and then I'll be well fucked". Judging from the position of the sun, he'd say it was around 7ish, the party started at 6:30. 'Well shit'





"He sure is takin his sweet time, ain't he" stated Applejack bemused, she'd wanted to meet this weird creature that by all accounts was a complete moron.

"Sure is" replied Rainbow Dash. "Maybe he's scared in case I whoop his flank again"

"Regardless it is quite rude to show up late to a party in one's honor" added rarity daintily sipping punch. They'd all arrived half an hour ago, Applejack and Rainbow dash sat at the table playing cards, Fluttershy made small talk with twilight who was reading (she didn't see why she'd have to fall behind for the convenience of some stupid house-wrecking lizard) and Pinkie Pie sat looking somewhat disappointed.

"Do you think he didn't want to come?" she asked not quite unhappy, but certainty not enthusiastic either.

Dash looked up from her cards "Oh he'd had better, cause if he bailed I'll clobber him". Some party it had turned out to be so far, Pinkie didn't want to start until the guest of honor had arrived, much to the ire of Twilight who both hated Mark and therefore found sitting around doing nothing a gratuitous waste of time.

Rarety, bored with the lack of festivities decided to make small talk, she'd heard rumors that Twilight had kicked the lizard out. "So Twilight dear, do tell us about what that dragon has been up to, I heard that he was in your library earlier on".

"ugh, don't get me started. First he wakes me up in the middle of the night, then I come down to find he'd trashed the library!"

"Not to mention the fact that he came into town wasted, and I had to drag his sorry flank back to the library in the first place!" Added Dash.

Rarity's eyes lit up upon hearing such juicy gossip, "Oh, do tell Twilight"

"Ok well I come down the stairs after hearing Celestia knows what! some kind of obnoxiously loud screeching, I come down to fine him lying on the floor next to a mattress, there was a gigantic scorch mark stretching half-way across the floor and a spilled glass in the corner! And that's just the beginning! Later on he woke me up AGAIN by causing irreparable damage to a priceless book, 'The Elements Of Harmony: A Reference Guide' to be exact, that book was over 300 years old and protected by countless enchantments! and he goes and smacks it against the ceiling! "

Rarity gasped "Oh my" she whispered.

"AND do you know why he did this? He did it because a fly was buzzing around and he'd decided to kill the poor thing"

Fluttershy let out an appalled squeak, having lost all potential respect for the creature. 'That monster' she thought.

Meanwhile Rarity was sitting forward fully interested in the conversation, and somewhat repulsed by the creatures unacceptable behavior, "Well, he sounds like an absolute brute, I shall have positively nothing to do with him, least he try and squash me".

Twilight interjected "don't get me wrong, he's not dangerous or anything, just immensely stupid and irresponsible and I'm not sure but there's definitely something off about him, so I'll be keeping an eye out for any suspicious activity"

"Tha's all well'an true twi, but what I want to know is why hasn't he turned up to this here party yet"

"I'm not sur-" replied Twilight but was quickly interrupted by Dash.

"Just a thought Pinkie, but er, did you make sure he actually knows where sugar-cube corner is?"

Pinkie jumped up excited "OH YEA, I totally forgot!" she began hopping around gleefully, turns out Mark hadn't left, he just didn't know the way. "You know it's strange because I'm actually glad I never told him because now I know he does actually want to come and-"

Rainbow Dash Sighed, "I'll go get him..."



He was lost, completely and utterly lost. Mark had been wandering around ponyville at random for the almost half an hour now, meaning he'd probably missed the party, meaning he was basically screwed. 'Well this sucks'. How'd he manage not to find Sugar-cube corner, it was made to look like confectioneries for goodness sake!

He was at this point just choicing directions at random, and then walking in them with a scowl on his miserable face, the cause of his misery was once again ponies, there seemed to be a 6 meter exclusion zone around him in which nopony dared to tread, ponies coming directly towards him ether changed direction or walked around the zone, much to his ire. ' OK so what if I'm a freak, no need for that!'.

The landscape was currently painted orange by the sun's fading light, however the beautiful scenery was marred by the fact that he'd missed the party, and his chance at acceptance. Thankfully the streets were becoming less populated, as ponies began retiring to there houses for the night. This pleased Mark and his rapidly increasing antisocial outlook.

Rows of houses passed him by, their bright coloring masked by the orange of the setting sun, that's when he noticed it, between the gaps between two thatched houses was the glorious city of Canterlot, but that's not what peaked his interests, what did peak his interests was the luminescent magical dome that surrounded it, the pink light it emitted made the surrounding mountains seemingly glow with pink light, it was quite the sight to behold.

'But why is the shield still up? the royal wedding already happened' was there still a threat of changelings? OR, thought Mark, "Perhaps the wedding hasn't happened yet...". A smirk appeared upon his face, if this was the case then this was a fantastic opportunity, if he saved the day then he'd be hailed a hero, and never have to worry about fitting in again. That and he'd be in good with the princesses. Brilliant.

But whether or not that was the case he didn't know just yet. He'd probably find out if he ever got to this party.

"Hey!" shouted Dash as she descended from above, "We've all been waiting for you!". She'd seen the stupid creature blithering around on the wrong side of town going the completely wrong direction.

"Ah...oh hey... sorry bout that I couldn't find my way there".

"OK whatever, common lets go" she took of flying. MArk just stared at her, 'so what am I ment to follow on foot or...what?'

Rainbow Dash eventually came back, "HEY, what's the holdup, lets get moving". Oh she wanted him to fly.

"Can't fly..."

Rainbow Dash looked exasperated, "You CAN'T fly?!?, but you have wings right there!"

"yea but look at them, you can't expect something like these to work, look how mismatched they are!" he replied.

"Shame..." OK that was pretty cold.

"HEY, my wings don't work, that's nothing to laugh at"

Dash felt a tang of guilt, "OK look sorry, can we just get going, you're late enough as it is".

The journey back to the party was taken in silence, Mark often tried lighting up a conversation but they never went anywhere due to neither party having any interest in what said conversation was about. So the trip was spent mostly in silence. He did get her name in any case, just so it wouldn't be suspicious if he already knew.

They were almost at sugar-cube corner now. "so... Dash, does this party have any booze?" he asked. It managed to pipe Dashes interests "Man I wish, most ponies in this town don't drink, so, not really, although I wish they sometimes did" she replied solemnly towards the end.

"I could make some booze?" he stated as if a question, to which Dash replied with a laugh.

"HA, and how, exactly, are you gonna do that?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Well first of all, what kind of drink do you want, vodka, whiskey, wine?"

"how bout a cider, those are all pretty strong, but what's the point when-" She was cut of as Mark snapped his fingers and out of nowhere appeared a mug of alcoholic cider. Strongbow to be exact, it was his favorite brand of cider.

Her eye's were wide in absolute amazement, when was the last time she'd had a cider, nopony had ANY idea how hard it was to get a good drink in this town. Her amazement lasted till the drink fell out of mid air and promptly spilled across the ground.

"OH for fucks sake!" Mark swore, "WHY does that keep on happening to me"

Dash looked at him, completely unaffected by his language, "How'd you do that!" she asked in wonder, her pupils fully dilated.

"Just can, I'm cool like that" he snapped his fingers again and this time another mug appeared on the floor, Dash quickly snatched it and drank it down, sighing in relief afterwards.

"Oh thank Celestia, It's been too long since I'd gotten bucked up"

Mark just stared mouth agape, "....WOW.... are you like, some kind of alcoholic, I mean... holy- wow...." he didn't know what to say to that, a cartoon pastel colored horse just declared her longing to be shitfaced, if his fellow bronies knew this, they'd have a field day.

"what's that supposed to mean?" she questioned with a glare.

"Oh, OH no, nothing, it's just... you don't strike me as an alcoholic" he replied carefully.

"Hey! I am NOT an alcoholic, I just like to occasionally get drunk, is that too much for a girl to ask?"

He held his arms up in a passive gesture, "Of course not, forget I said anything".

"Yea...k, hey look we're here!" indeed they had arrived at sugar-cube party, strangely no noise emanated from inside. 'Strange' thought Mark, shouldn't there be a party in here. Dash entered and Mark followed behind. The lights flicked on.

"SURPRISE!!!" screamed Pinkie Pie hoofs up in the air after having activated her party cannon. Mark suspected this, he wasn't surprised in the slightest.

chapter 5: The Party

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'Oh my god this is so fucking boring...' It had never occurred to mark that being in a kids show, ponies would party accordingly. While he never expected ponies to have alcohol (although weak), it turned out that they did live up to his low expectations when it came to throwing parties. It was like a 5 year old's birthday...

Few had actually turned up to welcome the "Pottymouthed lizard" as he was now known as, in fact, only the mane six had shown up, and Mark suspected that it was purely for Pinkie's benefit.

He watched bored as a blindfolded Twilight stumbled over to a painted donkey, attempting to pin a tail on it, while in the background Pinkie giggled hysterically, they all had big smiles on there faces and honestly looked to mark to be enjoying themselves wholeheartedly. He didn't get it, 'It's pin the tail on the donkey for fucks sake!' yes he understood they were miniature pastel colored equines, but still, this was lame even for them. Beforehand they had partied 'ponyville' style with tacky music, dancing wildly for around half an hour. He would have been sympathetic, but besides Dash, they had not a drop of alcohol in their system. Therefore for Mark it was kind of pathetic. Very much so in fact.

So far despite the best efforts of Pinkie Pie, he had yet to partake in any party activities, instead electing to stand awkwardly just outside the area of activity. Yes he knew he was being antisocial, but dammit the games were just so lame.

Everypony laughed (Mark was not a pony) as Twilight managed to pin the tail on the donkeys forehead, it wasn't even funny.

"Ops, wrong spot Twilight" Laughed Pinkie, "I'm sure you'll get it next time!"

"Yea!" said Dash, "You were so close, you'll get it next time for sure"

Mark grumbled, 'Oh god they're setting it up again', this had been the 5th try, it was beyond stupid, boring and humiliating, he'd had enough. Mark sighed dramatically. Maybe he could sneak away or make up some kind of excuse.

Pinkie turned, slightly disappointed "What's wrong Mark? aren't you enjoying the party".

"Not really..." he replied. He was now getting concerned/irritated glances from the rest of the ponies present. He was aware he was being rude, calling a party in his honor boring, but he'd simply had enough.

Rarity was giving him a funny look as if to say please don't hurt pinkie's feelings, Mark ignored it the best he could.

"Oh... well how about you get to pick the next game, that'll be fun!" Pinkie was not one to easily depress, she bounced right back with a large smile.

But now the pressure was on Mark, he hadn't any clue what ponies liked doing at these kind of social gatherings, or at all in fact. 'Fuck it, I'll just choose a Human game' a grin spread it'self across his face, which considering his new features probably looked somewhat sinister.

"let's play Shots" he suggested giddily. He'd always enjoyed shot's while at collage, they'd drink every-time Pinkie broke the various laws of physics, suffice to say he'd woken up with ink on his face on more then one occasion.

"Shots?" pretty much everyponies reaction was the same, they hadn't a clue what he was talking about. "OOOO, sounds fun how do you play that" asked Pinkie enthusiastically.

"hm... well first of all you get some booze, secondly-" he was cut off by Twilight.

"Wait, why would we need alcohol at a party?" 'did she seriously just ask that!?' thought Mark.

*SIGH* "Because it's a drinking game..."

"I like the sound of that!" exclaimed Dash, "Am in too, sounds like a mighty fun idea" added Applejack. Rarity seemed somewhat skeptical but opted to listen further.


"Now hold on a second, you do realize alcohol has a plethora of detrimental health side effects that-"

"Oh common egghead, it's just booze, booze doesn't hurt you. besides I think it sounds awesome" interjected Dash.

"I must admit that this game, although brutish, has piped my interests" added Rarity.

Well if her friends were doing it it should be OK, "Alright fine, go on Mark?"

"cool, OK so everyone gets a shot glass" he snapped his fingers and several miniature glasses appeared before each pony, "and some shots" click* now they were filled with Jack Daniels. Pinkie drank her's straight away, coughing afterwards at the taste.

"dammit Pinkie... you're supposed to wait before downing the- OK whatever, so, whenever a unicorn uses it's magic, you down the shot, when ever Dash-"

"I feel funny" laughed Pinkie.

"Yea, so when ever Dash say's the words cool, awesome or any kind of thing like that, you take a drink"

"THIS GAME IS AWESOME" cried dash. Everypony downed their shot including a reluctant twilight, and then immediately started gagging. except Fluttershy who apparently didn't want to play.

"DEAR CELESTIA, THIS STUFF IS FIREWATER" cried applajack "what'd yer put init?!?"

"My that's the strongest drink I've ever sampled" added Rarity.

Rainbow Dash sat with a large grin on her face.

Twilight was grimacing and had her head in her hoofs, clearly having never sampled whiskey before.

Pinkie was laughing, the alcohol in her system beginning to take effect, apparently ponies had little tolerance for ethanol.

And Fluttershy was just staring at hers.

"Hey Fluttershy, aren't you gonna drink that?" asked Mark, he'd asked for their names at the beginning of the party.

"Oh, um... I-I'm not really so sure about this game... I'd rather not play.. if it's ok with you-" her soft voice was interrupted.

"Oh common, it'll be fun" if there was one thing he had to accomplish this night, it was getting Fluttershy drunk, what kind of Brony would he be if he didn't.

"Yea, common shy, it'll be awesome!" Dash encouraged, Mark silently thanked rainbow dash for peer-pressuring her into it, he refilled everyone's glass and causally said "drink".

"Oh um... I don't... really..." she squeaked.

Mark knew what to do, he raised his arm up and began chanting "do it, do it, do it, do it", just as he expected Dash quickly joined in followed by Applejack and Pinkie. Rarity and Twilight sat bemused at the display, somewhat disliking how this was going. But there judgment was impaired by an alcohol buzz common among first time drinkers.

To his surprise, Mark found the tactic working, Fluttershy was staring at her glass as if it had become animated and had stated to tap-dance, but clearly she was considering it. With a frown on her face, she slowly and self consciously lowered her head and grasped the glass in her jaw, the chanting increasing in volume and excitement. With her heart beat racing, she tilted her head back and drank the concentrated beverage, coughing slightly afterwards but smiling at the roaring overexcited applauds she received from Dash, Pinkie, Mark and Applejack.

'This is going to be a great Party' though Mark, and that's when it hit him, He had phenomenal cosmic god-powers, he wielded infinite creative power, 'And the only thing I've used it on thus far is booze and mattresses ...What is wrong with me', whatever. He'd do that later.





Equestria girls we're kinda magical
Boots on hooves, bikinis on top

Twilight stood on a table along with Fluttershy both looking a little worse for wear, the duet singing a drunken version of 'Equestrian girls'. Earlier Mark had summoned a karaoke machine out of nowhere when they started singing (because they might as well have music). She'd never had this much fun before, now Twilight understood why ponies went out clubbing, why ponies consumed salt and alcohol. She hadn't a care in the world, she wasn't worried about the upcoming wedding, nor the possible detrimental side effects of alcohol, right now all that she knew was that she was standing unsteadily on a table with her friend Fluttershy, signing karaoke. And she loved it.

"Hey Fluttershy..." she paused and interrupted the singing, "I thinck... I get it now.... I undershand why some ponies love getting intoxicated...and... what was I saying?" she sat down on the table swaying slightly. Fluttershy laughed.

"I think you've had a little bit to much Twilight" Fluttershy's stutter and shyness had been eliminated after the third shot, she too was swaying slightly.

"Alm finnnneeee.... wat were we singin again?" She looked to Fluttershy with a stupid grin, she hand't felt this relaxed in her entire life.

Fluttershy paused contemplatively, "I forget.." She held her hooves up to her face in a barely suppressed giggle, then they both burst out laughing. Twilight didn't even know why it was so funny, it just was.

*smash* Twiligh flinched at the noise, and relative quiet descended upon the room, "my bad guys" called mark glancing at the pile of now broken glass covering the floor.

Somepony could cut their hooves in that she thought, "Mark, go clean that up", he made a dustpan and brush and began sweeping.

"You didn't need to tell me, I was already going to, jeez", there was no need for that reply, she was just asking him to clean up a potential health hazard. She'd just ignore it.

She noticed Pinkie lying on her back atop a summoned couch wearing a lampshade, giggling hysterically as Applejack and Dash tried to best each other in an arm wrestle, Rarity sat sipping her wine nearby. She had to admit this was a pretty fun party, perhaps they'd introduce Alcohol into their celebrations more often.

Fluttershy had wondered over and approached the sofa from behind, she draped her forelegs over the back and smiled happily. "Hey Fluttershy!" cried Pinkie "HA, why are there two of you, bahahahaha" Truth be told Twilight couldn't find any differentiation in Pinkies usual behavior, she usually ended up in a state like this even without gratuitous amounts of alcohol anyway, so if anything she was actually slowed down.

Fluttershy began a long reply, she talked and talked about nonsense Twilight couldn't make sense of, although she heard animals mentioned quite a few times. "Twilight darling" her attention was drawn to Rarity, who sat opposite to pinkie on the couch, she trotted over and around to the Rarity's side of the couch and slouched over it, head buried into the fabric and her rustled frizzy hair covering her face. She didn't bother to look up.

"Twilight, I just had the most fabulous idea. while watching everypony at this party I was struck by inspiration, the wildness in eveypony's manes is simply intriguing, they contain a wild sort of beauty that seems to just exude a sense of pure freedom, why, I could make a new fashion line based upon these idea's" she paused looking at the ceiling in enthusiastic contemplation. "I've already thought out several idea's for each of our friends, I simply can't bare to wait until morning".

Twilight rose up from the leather sofa (ponies wouldn't even know it was made of leather, they don't do that kind of thing), That sounded like a wonderful idea, making her and her friends dresses. 'In fact, why don't we all go there now' That sounded like a really good idea, going out late at night days before a wedding, while drunk, to work with needles and other Sharp equipment. Twilight didn't even consider the risks, only focused on making her friend happy.

"Letsh do it, right now.... lets go to your boutique and make those dresses right now, it'll be great Rarity" she slurred enthusiastically.

Rarity straightened with happy resolve "you're right Twilight, we simply must procure these ideas while they're still fresh"

"Hey everypony! we're going to the boutique so rarity can make dresses for us" she exclaimed to everyone present. They all looked back with varying degree's of drunken stupor.

"yea, Sounds good"



"I just follow the crowd" said mark.

It never occurred to anyone present how boring making dresses would be, they just felt like going outside, that and it sounded like a really good idea at the time.




Back to marks prospective:

Mark walked out the door, So far it had been a pretty awesome party, they'd pretty much trashed Sugar-cube corner, what with all the extra furniture and trash lying around. 'I'm not cleaning that shit' thought Mark, he'd already given them a karaoke machine and extra furnishings (which included a sofa plus a table and chairs for the duo's little arm wrestling tournament) so he guessed that'd pay for any mess he'd caused. It was a good thing the cakes were out of town.

Mark and a group of heavily intoxicated ponies walked unsteadily down the sidewalk, not quite in a straight line. Everypony present was merry and babbling on about something or other that Mark couldn't and didn't care to understand. He got back to thinking about his powers ' OK so far I've made nothing of particular interest...' and it was true, he'd only made rather mundane household items thus far. What kind of god was he?

"Everybody stop!" he exclaimed suddenly. He now had everponies attention, "guys I-" he realized he'd not thought this out very well, he had no idea what to say or do now that he'd gotten everyone's attention, he cursed the fact that he never thought things through.

"What?" asked Twilight inquisitively.

"urrr.... sorry, I actually didn't think of anything to say before stopping you all"

Dash broke out laughing, as did a few others, "Whoa Mark, can't hold your cider?" she taunted.

"HA please, I'm Twice your size, there's no way I'm as drunk as you" he said swaying slightly.

Twilight felt fit to point out that "yes Mark, but you've also drank three times as much" She had a point, Mark realized he may have been more intoxicated then he first thought.

"OK fine whatever, anyway I remembered what I was going to do, stand back bitches!" He received many eye roles and frowns for that last part, but everyone did actually move out of the way.


And there stood a sports car.

He actually had no idea what make it was, he'd just wished for a cool car and apparently the magic filled in the blanks. 'Holy shit I love these powers!'

"whoa! What the heck is that!" gasped Rainbow dash. "Looks pretty awesome!".

"That, my little pony's, is a car. Get in!" he said insolently while jumping over the door, he slipped and fell head first into the gear stick, he now had a black eye "FUCK!", 'that's what I get for being a prick' he supposed.

The ponies ignored his pain with bemused expressions, possibly due to his language and hopped into the back of the car, while Rainbow Dash naturally took shotgun. "Hey dude, could you cut down on the swearing?" she asked.

*Sigh* "alright, sorry bout that". his ego had been hurt somewhat.

Rarity spoke up,"*ahem* well these are certainly nice seats, the 'car' It'self has a unique design and it looks very nice darling.... however, I don't see how this is going to help us get to the boutique"

"Oh ho, you'll see, just give me a sec to start this beast". he stared down towards the ignition, he had no keys. Sitting there for around 3 seconds before he thought to himself 'FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUU- wait, I can just make some'

Problem solved, he created a set of keys, inserted them into the ignition and- They didn't fit.... "what..." 'oh for fucks sake'

"Hey Mark, what up?" Dash glanced incredulously at him from the side, he imagined he was starting to look quite bad around about now.

'OK maybe if I thought about keys that fit this car', *Snap* He tried again and this time it worked, 'Finally', a loud noise signaled the start of the car much to the freight of everypony present. Various gasps rang out and everypony had flinched.

"What in th'hay was that!" asked applejack.

"That's the car, it, like, doesn't use magic and transports people'n stuff around at high speeds" Mark replied. The ponies gave him a few confused glances.

"Wow, that's so fascinating, it's like an automated carriage, and what are 'people'?" Asked Twilight.

'Oh god not this conversation', right now he just wanted to have fun, not explain the concepts of people to Twilight. "I'll tell you later, but now, it's time to.... I don't know go for a drive I guess..."

Calws gripping the steering wheel- 'Wait , I don't know how to drive...' It was true, He'd never owned a car nor got his driving license.

'... lol I don't fucking care' he gave out a small laugh directed at the sky and proceeded to slam his foot down upon the accelerator. The car jerked forward much to the freight and ire of everyone on board, heads flew backwards due to the G-force acting on them, startled, Mark tore his foot from the accelerator. This abrupt change caused the heads of everypony and chimera present to jerk forwards and slam off of either the back of the chair or in Marks case the steering wheel, which elicited a loud BEEP.

Everypony growled Irritably at Mark, "what the heck was that for?" Asked a flustered Twilight.

Mark grimaced "Sorry guys, my bad.... Ok look, chillax, I got this" Unsteadily the car eventually managed to go at a somewhat stable speed of 20 Mph which was well beyond pony sprinting speeds. He couldn't really go any faster in the streets of ponyville.

Everypony present was pretty impressed by the machine, especially Twilight. not so much Rainbow dash however.

"Can't this thing go any faster?"

"No, we're in a crowded area" replied Mark.

Ok now this was awesome, cruising around ponyville in a sports car, with an intoxicated mane six while in possession of god-powers. Mark had to admit, he'd never quite expected his life to turn out so well. He had an idea.

Clicking his claws, he turned on the music player, and set it to play a song:

what is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.
As the opening verse ended Mark started bobbing his head up and down to the following beat. With a stupid grin on his face he turned up the music and leaned back in his seat.

Pinkie immediately followed Marks example and began bobbing her head up and down with a large smile "common girls, join in".

"Well isn't this a delightful song" said Rarity beginning to bob her head, soon enough they were all doing it due to the catching beat and being intoxicated.

Mark turned around to face them "hey guys isn't this awesome", he saw Twilight throwing up over the side of the car, after her heaving was done she sat back in her chair comfortably.

"yes, I suppose so" she said. Conversation between everypony present reignited.




Lyra was trotting home from work at 2:17 Am, she as exhausted from working the counter way into the night and just wanted to go to sleep. Having worked in a porn shop for what, 8 weeks now,(reference to Tripple X), the Mareborough, she'd seen her fair share of weird things, whether that be interracial griffin gang-bangs, or just the customers themselves, but what she was about to see would take first place.

She stopped and stared as she heard music approaching, it got louder and louder as time went by, the louder it got the more it piped her curiosity. There down the street appeared to be some weird kind of orange automated metal vehicle, it drove past her. There in the front seat was the creature she'd seen yesterday making a scene, he was brandishing a bottle and wearing sunglasses. It and six other mares which tuned out to be Twilight sparkle, Rainbow dash, Pinkie pie, ALL the Elements of harmony also chatting animatedly and bobbing their heads.

She stood there staring until the car disappeared into the distance and the music cease playing. It took her a while to get moving again.





"I gotta admit Mark, you turned out pretty cool in the end" said rainbow dash. He'd given them all more booze while on the trip and was happily drinking a bottle of hard cider. Life was good, he leaned back into the seat and closed his eyes bobbing his head up and down to the beat. nothing could ruin this.


"what's wr-" 'OH JESUS FUCK WHO PUT THAT TOWN HALL THERE!' he screamed in his head. The building was fast approaching and Mark had to react quickly. However in his haste he made somewhat of an error, just before colliding with the building, he slammed his foot down on the accelerator. 'oh goddammit'

*Crash* the front of the car collided with one of the support pillars, breaking though it completely and crumpling the front bumper, then they collided with the building and stopped a few inches inside the wall. Thankfully however no one was seriously injured, but they were all quite shook up and bruised all the same.

Dash face-hooved "nice going idiot..."