Chapter 3
The sun was just peaking over the horizon as Mark finished the first chapter of supernaturals. He'd spent the last three hours trying to decipher the bastardized English Lettering that was the Equestrian language, which was essentially an occasionally backwards messed up form of English. By this point he'd managed to gain a basic understanding and could read 13 words a minuet, oh and he was catatonically bored.
'Thank god, it's finally day time', he said with no degree of enthusiasm, that reminded him, he'd have to deal with the whole situation he was in soon, and there was probably going to be some kind of confrontation once Twilight sent that letter. 'Or maybe not just yet...'. He had an idea, what if Twilight didn't send the letter. Today at least. But how could he stop her from sending the letter, he was sure she hadn't woken up yet, so there was still a chance. All he'd have to do is spend time with her, she wouldn't write a letter about him if he was standing right there.
'Actually that's probably a bad idea' he just remembered he didn't like Twilight anymore, if only because of the poor circumstances of their first meeting. Maybe he could go help himself to something to eat, he could always replace the food he ate anyway. (which was rather a moronic way of thinking as he could just eat the food he made).
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After crawling through the kitchen door which was two sizes too small for him. He procured himself a generous helping of obsidian (which wasn't even a gemstone) and emeralds and sat on the floor next to a rather small table. 'I'm sitting in Twilight's Library helping myself to her food.... never thought I'd get to a point in my life where that sentence would make perfect sense', for the next few moments he sat peacefully eating his exotic breakfast before quickly becoming bored.
His tail was whipping around behind him as he attempted to learn how to control it, he started lightly punching the table partly out of boredom and partly out of OCD. *sigh* He looked around the room and quickly found himself becoming bored. He was trapped in My Little Pony-verse and he was becoming bored, what was wrong with him. *BZZt* He stopped halfway though eating an emerald, his heart-rate soaring. 'was that a fly' he wondered gleefully.
He loved killing flies, with extreme prejudice, he'd catch the little sods and pull their wings off, and kill them in a variety of ways. His hatred of flies stemmed from the fact that they annoyed the hell out of him, that was it. They just infuriated him.
*BZZZZZ* 'There! there's the little bastard!' he spotted the fly buzzing obnoxiously around the ceiling like the smug little bugger it was. He'd soon change that. Standing up he crept towards the fly, staring at it like a lion stalking a gazelle, with full intent to put the fly to quick and messy end... or a slow one if he managed to catch the damned thing. Suddenly he lunged at it, the fly just flew away at the last second and as if to taunt him flew around his body, as if mocking him.
"you little mother fucker" mark whispered venomously as his mountainous frustrations grew and the fly just continued to mock him like the smug little bastard it was. 'Oh look at me, I'ma a fly and you can't catch me wanker, hur hur hur' he imagined the fly talking down to him, mocking and taunting him relentlessly as it ducked and weaved around him. It had to die, now it was personal.
Using his Superior mammalian intelligence, or was it now reptile? He Quickly deduced that he'd need something big and flat to swat it with, so that it couldn't avoid the crippling blow that would probably paralyze it, then when it was lying on the floor, half dead and crippled, he'd go finish it off. Slowly. He decided a book would be best for the job.
Heading out into the main part of the library, he glanced around looking for a particularly large book, he found his gaze drawn to the book resting on the wooden stand, it looked important, on the other hand it was massive. 'Twilight would probably be pretty mad if I took it...' but on the other hand it was perfect for crippling flies, and if had to do one thing before he died, it was murder that obnoxious fly, It was personal.
"I'll put it back before she even realizes", slyly he slinked over to the bookcase, "yonk" and the book was gone.
-
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-
*THUD*.... *THUD* "urgh"
Her blissful sleep was interrupted due to two loud thuds and resultant vibrations coming from directly below her bed. "uuurrrrrrr" she groaned and pulled the covers over her head. Intent to just ignore whatever that noise was and get back to sleep.
*Crash* Her eye's burst open, "DEAR CELESTIA I'M TRYING TO SLEEP" she shot up in bed and glanced around momentarily disorientated and bleary eyed. *Thud* "URGH! WHAT'S HE DOING NOW!". She jumped out of bed and stomped over to the door, her mane and tail were a mess, frizzed up due to lack of sleep and stress.
Another clattering sounded down stairs and Twilight let loose a growl of frustration. She'd be having words.
-
-
-
'whelp I'm fucked' Mark was lying on the floor in a pile of gems, he'd fallen into the table and sent the bowl and it's contents rocketing everywhere as well as producing a hideous screeching sound as the table legs rubbed against the flooring. Not to mention the bowl shattering against the floor. There was no way that hadn't woken Twilight and Spike.
Panic filled his mind as he got up and paced nervously around the kitchen, he was fucked. 'oh god why', now he was going to be in so much trouble, it pained him to think about what would be in that letter to Celetia, he'd be turned into stone for sure, 'why am I such a moron'. And it was all that fly's fault, if it hadn't reared it's ugly head here he'd be in the clear, 'fuck it' he though, he was already screwed, but he'd be dammed if he didn't take that fucking fly with him.
Picking up the rather large and important looking book with his right arm, he gave one last almighty swing towards the fly, flattening it completely against the ceiling.
"HA!"
"WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU DOING" screamed Twilight in a fit of shock and rage, her bloodshot eye's glaring at Mark.
Mark turned like a Deer caught in the head lights and suddenly relized the situation he was in 'yep, I'm retarded' Of course he couldn't actually bring himself to be afraid of something just under half his size, but he was definitely intimidated.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! YOU CAN'T-" *gasp* "IS THAT THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY: A REFERENCE GUIDE!!" she seethed in absolute horror and rage.
Mark just stared for a few seconds, stretched out his arms and looked down at the damaged book with a small frown. There on the cover in perfect English was the title: The Elements Of Harmony: A Reference Guide". The spine was now bent and the edges blunted due to being bashed against the Ceiling.
Cringing, he answered wide eyed "...Yes.... yes it is" he was so screwed.
Twilight stood huffing and panting in rage, on the verge of a tantrum and barely containing her anger. She managed to calm herself enough to ask one question through gritted teeth. "why..."
"Ah well... you see...there was a fly-" Twilight's eye twitched. "- and it was buzzing around so I had to get...get rid... of it..." *gulp*
"FFFFFF-" Twilight was having a meltdown, her face had turned red and she gritted her teeth in pure, unadulterated rage the likes of which was not seen since discord turned Celetia's mane into cotton candy and subsequently ate it in front of her.
"I am so sorry Twilight, ho-" he was cut off.
"GET. OUT"
"wha-"
"GET OUT!. GET OUT OF MY LIBRARY YOU, YOU MENACE!" she screamed in fury .
-
-
-
-
It was a presently warm early morning outside Twilight's Library, left and right ponies milled about doing their own thing, going about their daily and lives traveling to work. It was peaceful and serene, they'd all recovered from yesterdays monster attack. The entire place just exuded a happy atmosphere. Then there came a noise from the front door of the library.
Everypony looked towards the door as it tore open with a heavy thud, and a wide eye'd creature came staggering out being roughly shoved by a pulsating field of red magic only to fall forward and face-plant the dirt. Twilight stomped over to the door, stood on her hind-legs, her forelegs pushing on ether side of the door frame, and leaned forward aggressively with a look of rage and great annoyance upon her face. "AND DON'T BOTHER COMING BACK, YOU'RE BANNED!" Turning she slammed the doors with all the force she could muster, creating a terrible SLAM that shook leaves from the tree.
Mark meanwhile was face down in the dirt, he got up and brushed himself off only to stop and stare wide eyed upon noticing 20 or more sets of eye's on him. 'Oh crap, well this is embarrassing'. He glanced around, the ponies staring at him held incredulous and nonplussed expressions, some looked unsure, another fearful and one highly amused. It was quite disconcerting for him.
It was relatively silent compared to before, creepy in fact.Nopony said a word, they were still staring, 'say something', "...well this is awkward....". Instantly the murmuring started, ponies huddled around and talked in hushed voices, occasionally glancing back at the uneasy draconequus who was obviously the center of their attention.
Ok this was just plain rude, he was right here and they were talking about him, a couple of times he overheard the terms 'monster' and 'thing'. If he was physically able he'd be blushing bright red by now. 'Stupid ponies' He was being made very uncomfortable by this and decided just standing outside the library wasn't going to remedy anything.
Setting off he began walking awkwardly down the road, where? He had no idea, he just wanted to get away from this insufferable crowd. The houses started passing him as he walked down some kind of high street, he'd been walking for around five second before he realized he was being quietly followed by a crowd of curious ponies. 'of course, I should had know they'd start following me' hell if he'd seen a strange non-aggressive creature in the street, he'd follow it in a crowd too, so he couldn't really blame them.
"Mommy, why's there a monster wandering around the town' said one adorable little foal on her way to school. "I don't know honey, maybe it'll go away if you ignore it" came the carefree reply. OK that really was just rude, and insensitive, But it wasn't like they hated him for being different or anything he reasoned. They just used the term monster to causally describe an unusual creature. It brought to mind how Iron Will was referred to in 'putting your hoof down'. 'wow, these ponies are like, racist or something'
...Were they STILL following him. As he stopped, so did the soft whispers coming from the sizable crowed of ponies following behind him from a safe distance. Tuning around with a scowl on his face, Mark was once again faced with complete silence and a miniature army of staring ponies. They were really starting to creep him out, nervous as he was his annoyance was also beginning to grow, "What?" he asked bringing his arms up horizontal. When he didn't get a response he considered using his new powers to escape. 'Couldn't Discord teleport and fly' he mused?
OK Teleporting was out, he'd probably frighten them and it just seemed downright dangerous, not to mention the fact he had nowhere in mind. Flying it was then. He unfurled his mismatched wings and gave a few experimental flaps, which both made the crowd flinch and gave no lift whatsoever. He tried to flap harder but nothing came of it other then making himself look like a nob. He jumped once and put all his power into his wings, and nothing happened. Perhaps Discords flight was magical in nature. 'Makes sense' he thought, as nothing he'd encountered thus far should have been able to fly according to the laws of physics alone.
But for now he had another problem. Giggles rung out through the crowed as a few of the braver mares started laughing at the strange display, seconds later a few more joined in. Mark looked left and right uncomfortably, they were laughing at him. He annoyance had reached a peak, "Hey, That's not funny I can't fly" 'why don't I ever think before I speak' he reflected mortified. Sure enough just as he predicted a chorus of laughter rang out, all directed at him. Children and adult alike joined in laughing at the ridiculous creature that couldn't even use it's wings.
Ok now this was really starting to piss him off, he hated being laughed at. In the spirit of not thinking before he spoke, he bellowed out in a tone of mild annoyance "HEY!, shut the fuck up! It's not funny OK".
Gasps seemed to come from everywhere at once as mothers tried to shield their children's ears and stallions snorted in disgust. The crowd started slowly dispersing, he received angry and repulsed glares from everypony present, and even from a few mules and cows too.
"what?" he asked in absolute confusion, "The hell did I- OH, oh that is...." Sigh 'Ohhhh, I get it....Apparently I've said a "no no" word, and everyone's all fuckin butthurt over it, goddammit, they're like small fucking children' Apparently ponies took swearing very seriously, it was a kids show after-all. 'I'm beginning to dislike these ponies'
One again Mark found himself blanketed in silence, only this time he was all alone. He stood there in the middle of the street with a scowl on his face, watching the very last of the ponies disperse before looking at the sky and then back to the ground. Sighing heavily he turned around-
*BANG* "OH JESUS CHRIST AHHHH" he let loose a rather girlish scream and fell flat on his back after his legs collapsed underneath him. Colorful Streamers and confetti rained down upon him and a tacky string instrument musical started playing in the background. He stared wide eye'd and took a deep breath while clutching his chest.
"Welcome to ponyville! I'm Pinkie Pie, what's your name!" enthusiastically shouted Pinkie Pie in front of her welcome wagon. She wore a large smile on her face and seemed to exude an upbeat atmosphere of happiness, quite unlike the draconequus now lying on the floor in utter shock.
*Gasp* "you sacred the crap outta me pinkie!" he said attempting to get up and brush the streamers off his face. It felt so wierd to actually talk to cartoon characters, but he wasn't complaining.
"Oh silly mee I must have snuck up on you" she laughed warmly.
"right..." mark said unsure of what to say next.
"Welcome,Welcome,Welcome, I say how do you do..." Pinkie began singing as she hoped around and pulled a large drum out of nowhere. Mark stared blankly, he couldn't help but remember this as the Welcome to ponyiville song from 'A friend indeed', 'This is awesome'
She finished with a grin.
"hey, you look just like discord,well not exactly like discord but similar, so when'd you first come to ponyville, what's your name again, can you make it rain chocolate?!" she asked happily. 'Straight to the point' though Mark. 'I like it'.
"Yes, I am just like Discord, I got here yesterday, names Mark, and I could make it rain chocolate", Mark was always on the verge of bragging about his new powers, they were awesome. At the mention of chocolate like Pinkies face lit up.
"Your name's Mark? is your special talent target practice? Could you pretty please make it rain chocolate milk" begged Pinkie half desperate, half insanely happy.
Mark paused as if thinking, 'My powers are only really limited by imagination, if I can imagine it happening I can do it.. so chocolate rain clouds?'. "Sure", he snapped his fingers after concentrating on an image of what he wanted to happen. Sure enough a cotton candy cloud appeared and started raining down chocolate on the pink party pony, Who squealed in delight and started rolling around in it.
"This is just Fan-Tastic! we could have a welcome to ponyville party, it'd be called a welcome to ponyville, make it rain chocolate party!" she fired off hyperactivity, apparently liking the chocolate rain. "There could be chocolate rain for EVERYPONY! Everypony gets there own cloud!"
This seemed to good to be true for mark, although it was Pinkie pie... "huh, aren't you the least bit paranoid about me being evil or something?"
She cheerfully answered "Oh silly of course not, you've been here for two days now, you would have done something by now".
He paused for a while "THAT'S WHAT I SAID!".
"See you tonight at sugarcube corner for the WTPMIRC party!" she said bounding off down the street towards the library.
"huh.." 'what a strange day this has been' thought mark before walking onward, maybe he'd visit sweet apple acres next, it was less crowded.
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FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRST! Before I even read the story
inb4 author
Have a small update. Constructive criticism?
524733
Before the damn author!!!!! wtf!
OK lets see, you were 29 seconds before me... how did this HAPPEN?
lol pinkie pie is sooooo random
524745
What fun is there in finding out how things happen?
524756
did you read that far into the story already?!? it's only been up for 2 and a half minuets!! that's like 1500 words a minuet...
524763
Yep, im a fast reader
524737
Constructive? You need to align all your bricks to the left.
Seriously though good chapter, seems to be a filler though. You can incorporate more fun.
524800
Yes it is just a filler. Non of the interesting stuff or gore is happening yet, I've yet to find something to move the story along faster.
524811
Chrysalis. Done.
Heh, Pinkie might be Mark's redemption, if she can see the real self of him, then she can tell everypony the truth.
I wonder how will he screw it up.
The way a proof-reader works is you send me the chapter, then I fix it up and send it back to you, and then you post the corrected version I gave you.
FYI it's spelled "minute".
I swear, every time I see " *bang* " in a story i'm like "Okay, I know it's not a gun...what could it be?"
And then every time it's Pinkie. Dang, I need to remember that more often!
525073
next chapter is going to you, sorry bout that.
Atleast two people don't hate you
Great chapter, and also when you first made it, I thought you would get booze from Berrypunch, :P
great chapter btw, cant wait for the next!
I WANT YOU TO SIT AT YOUR COMPUTER ALL DAY AND ONLY MAKE NEW CHAPTERS!
I am prepared to threaten the destruction of New Jersey to get your cooperation
525392
Do it. DO IT. DO IT
540513
I apologize.
New chapter is up, just waiting on proofread.
I demand more. So sayeth lord satan.
540654
There is a new chapter, I'm waiting for it to be proofread, just sent it off an hour ago.
Anyway, have you expanded to different fandoms yet?
540673 not yet, Right now I'm hammerd and I just trolled mehrunes dagon (the fimfiction one) greatly. ALso you should ad a sekssy scene of clop yhuj7jjumunhgbvf bnhbhnjb j k7u
540709
Nope, no clop.
You know what you should do. you should go to wall mart (assuming you live in america) and buy 300 or so 'Morning glory' seeds (Heavenly blue variety as non others will work) wash them to get rid of the pesticides, then eat them. you will trip off your balls, I did that last Wednesday (I think it as Wednesday) sat playing Skyrim for 8 and a half hours and was still fucked up by the end of it, my pupils were fully dilated and I was experiencing euphoria. What was pretty awesome was that 3 hours into the trip, it reached the peak and everything began becoming distorted, I was looking at a wall and seeing shit, I just sat with my mouth open in amazement while listening to music.
I highly recommend you try it, it's a cheap and safe high that's not addictive or detrimental to your brain. one thing though, if you do plan on doing that, the skin on the seeds causes minor nausea.
edit: these seeds contain LSA which is basically a weaker form of LSD, they make LSD from LSA btw. anyway, if you do it you'll not feel anything for the first hour, then it'll kick in. I recommend it, it was awesome.
One: he doesn't sound or act like a psychopath, or a person with psychopathic tendencies and Two: couldn't he snap his fingers and fix the damage? Like getting rid of the meat or the bed? The scorch marks I understand but objects should be easy to get rid of.