How the Other Half Lives

by Adda le Blue

First published 26th of June, 2014

A gender-dysphoric pony tests the waters at the expense of his, or her, classmates.

Alert: As of 16 August 2018 I've begun some drastic editing to knock this story down from Mature rating to Teen; there has been a lot of cleaning up to do in both content and formatting. I believe it's finished, but I might need someone to let me know if it's still too M for the T. Let me know if you think I missed something. Thanks for your patience!
~Adda

The post-graduate campus of Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns is a place of knowledge obscure and powerful, perhaps powerful enough for Alpha to live his dream for just one night... but how far would he be willing to go when his friend's safety and dignity are on the line?

[ This was my entry into the Mature bracket of the Transformations group's Body Swap Contest. How the Other Half Lives managed to place second! Congratulations to the winner, Twinkletail. ]

[ What's more, this story has been accepted into Twilight's Library, which I hear is quite a feat for a story with these tags. As if I wasn't proud of it before! ]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/m9vLrr7.png[/img]

[ Vanilla Breeze acted as prereader for this one; without her help this story would make even less sense than it does, haha. Than you so much, hon! I couldn't have done it without you. ]

[ Placeholder art is by Death-of-all. I'm still looking for something a little more suitable. ]

One

“Do you ever want to... you know... be somepony else?”

Fae shrugged, jostling the waves of her inky-purple mane with those perfect shoulders. “Why would I? I think I'm quite the pony as I am.” She cocked a coy eyebrow at him. “Don't you?”

“Well, yeah, of course,” he said hastily, “but that's not what I meant.” His horn's orange glow made his arctic-blue fur look flushed and pale, and soon swirls of stardust coalesced into the simple form of a rabbit frolicking in the sky above them. “Don't you ever wish you could be something other than yourself for a day?”

“Do you mean 'would I like to be the Princess for a day?'” she asked, her eyes intent on the expanse of the night sky. Her horn lit with a pale white-gold haze, and soon another more refined bunny bounced across the air to touch noses with the first. Alpha lifted his head and their bottle for a deep swig of sweet and bitter birch beer. “Or a runway model? Something other than a student of magic?”

He just happened to place the bottle between her eyes and his suspiciously rosy cheeks. “I mean transformation spells.”

Under the careful guidance of her golden aura the rabbits above them melded and twisted. “That does sound like fun. I wonder what it would be like to spend a day as a dragon.” From the motes emerged the shape of a lithe pegasus... No, not a pegasus; not with those batlike wings.

“Turning into monsters?” he said nonchalantly. “I don't think we could handle that kind of magic. Think smaller.”

“I doubt we could handle any kind of transformation magic, Alpha,” she countered. “Those are high-level spells. Most of us will never have that kind of power.”

“But what if you could try it?” he pressed. “If you could, like, be a pegasus for a day.”

“A day without magic?” Her mouth twisted in distaste. “That would be a fair price to pay for the chance to fly, but I don't know.”

Alpha smoothed back his mane. “Or what if you could be a colt?”

The bottle between them was lifted in a cloud of golden motes to reveal Fae's wide-eyed stare. “Me, a colt?” she said, the words sharp and dry in her disbelief. “Alpha, have you met me?”

His cheeks turned red once more for no reason at all. “I think you might want to try being one, since you like them so much,” he giggled.

“Ha-ha,” she muttered, but she gave him a smile for his efforts. “I'm quite happy as a mare, thank you.” After a moment's thought her smile took on a coquettish slant. “But I suppose I might change just long enough to test out the new equipment, hm?” There was no way he could hide his blush from her that time; she giggled as he averted his eyes and lit his horn once more. “Yes... Perhaps it could be fun to try, just for one night.” The bottle tilted in Fae's grip and she took a dainty sip that became something more as her tongue snaked out to wrap around its underside.

“So yeah, I guess that might be fun!” he said loudly, distracting himself from her barely-discreet stare by sending purple and gold swirls across the sky. “Just for a little while.” A little purple gummy candy floated up from his other side. “Want one?” She nodded and murmured her thanks, and he placed it onto her waiting tongue. The swirls in the sky took on more hues, more complex shapes as the pair chewed their candies and wondered.

Fae swallowed it down and hummed in appreciation. “What are you driving at, Alpha?” she asked finally. Something in her tone made him turn to face her, and what he saw made his mouth dry. That grin had become all too knowing. “Do you want me to be a stallion for you?”

“No...”

“Or do you want me to turn you into a mare?” she teased, her golden eyes sparkling with delight.

Alpha felt his heart stop.

“...so you can chase down those cute colts you've been staring at?” Fae continued, oblivious to the goosebumps causing his guardhairs to stiffen and the sudden cold sweat Alpha feared might stain the grass beneath his back.

She was dangling a line in front of him, and he latched onto it. “How many times do I have to tell you I'm not gay before you'll believe me?” he said, feigning frustration to hide the fear.

“Oh, I've caught you looking at mares too,” she laughed.

He sighed inwardly at the change of topic and let out a relieved chuckle. “Maybe.” He focused once more on the sky above.

“No maybes!” she insisted. “You never could hide anything from me.” When he didn't rise to her bait, she poked his shoulder with a hoof. “So what were you doing, Alpha?” she pressed. “Were you studying? Were you trying to figure out why the other boys are off chasing mares when they should be chasing you?”

Panic disrupted his illusion and his hooves pulled inward to his chest. “No!” he said defensively. “I'm a grown stallion. I can ogle whomever I want.”

Fae snickered, flaunting her beautiful teeth in a wide smile. “'Ogle'? You're so old-fashioned.”

“It's still a word!”

“So is 'flaming',” she smirked. “You want those boys to stare at you, don't you? You'll do anything to catch their attention. You know, I could let you borrow one of my dresses if you'd like...” His breath hitched and his lips pulled back from his teeth. “That would catch many a stallion's eye, don't you think?”

“Don't be ridiculous!” he spat.

“Oh, come on, Alpha!” she beamed. “I think you'd make an adorable filly!” She rolled onto her belly and crawled closer, the stray blades of grass stuck to her almost-white coat looking black under the moonlight. “I'll help you with your make-up and curl this wonderful mane...”

He flinched away from her hoof. “Stop it, Fae!” he whimpered. “This isn't funny!”

“I know just what you should wear too!” She pulled her hoof from his mane and let it trail down his side. “You know the one; the red one-shoulder evening dress with the sweetheart neckline?”

The blood in his cheeks threatened to boil his skin. He looked away and pretended to adjust the glasses clamped onto the bridge of his muzzle. “You know, you're insufferable sometimes,” he mumbled.

Her smile only widened. “Alpha, you're turning redder than that dress!” she crowed. “What has got you so hot and bothered? Is it the thought of all the stallions you'll have to choose from when I'm through with you?” She gasped in feigned shock. “No, I've read it all wrong! You're not gay... You're a filly in disguise!”

His jaw dropped and his hooves drew up to his chin. “Wh— Fae, what in the name of—”

Gales of laughter drowned out the rest of his words. “Oh my stars!” She let her head fall to the grass, where it lay not even two inches from the soft flesh of his belly. “You are too cute, Alpha.”

Alpha whined into his hooves as the heat of her breath ruffled his coat.

“As cute as a filly!” Fae placed her hooves over his flank and pulled herself upward, leaning into his flesh. He could feel the laughter bubbling in her chest. She pushed both forehooves against his knees until they began to slide into the gap between them.“I told you you can't hide anything from me!”

“Get away from there!” He twisted his upper body but her weight kept his hips in place.

Her hooves pulled at his knees, not firmly enough to separate them but just enough to make him squeal. “Come on, filly,” Fae giggled. “Show me what you're hiding!”

A heave of his lower body tossed her gently into the grass, where she rolled from side to side, shaking with merriment. Free at last, Alpha twisted onto his hooves and darted away, his eyes narrowed to hold in the tears.

“Oh, Alpha, come back,” Fae called, rolling gracefully to her own hooves and taking care not to step on the crushed bag of candy. Her chest was still shaking with subdued giggles. “I was only joking. You're a fine young stallion! Any mare or colt would be lucky to have you!”

The words cut him deeply, sending a lancet of agony through his heart. The world blurred before him as he galloped.

“Alpha, I'm sorry! Please come back!” Finally Fae began to canter after him, but after giving him such a head start she knew it was futile. “Alpha?”

Two

Fae had practically given him permission.

Alpha slammed the door to his dormitory shut behind him, ignoring the cries of his flatmate and his guests as their little tower of wooden blocks trembled. “I'm taking a sleeping potion at nine,” he said gruffly as he passed behind their navy eyesore of a couch. “Think you can keep it down until then?”

Three sets of eyes stared at him as he passed, with varying expressions of irritation or empathy. “What's wrong, Alpha?” a friend of a friend asked, his short teal wings carrying him closer.

“Nothing,” Alpha assured him.

It wasn't nothing, though, if his pink and puffy eyes were any indication. “Why've you been cryi—”

“It's nothing, okay?” Alpha said harshly. He turned his gaze to the window and sighed through his nose. “Don't worry about it, Hornpipe. I'm already over it.”

“Then why are you shaking?”

Alpha frowned at him and looked down at his trembling hooves. “I ran the whole way here,” he muttered. “I'm tired. Good night, everypony.” A half-hearted chorus of replies followed him into his bedroom and the door clicked shut just a touch more firmly than usual.

Hornpipe threw his hooves up, his bewildered expression asking the question on everypony's mind. He and Heartthrob, the pinkish-red earth pony who had hunched protectively over their Jenga tower, turned to the one pony among them who had a chance of understanding.

Bootsy peered over his amber shades to make sure Alpha wasn't watching them through a crack in the door, and he held up a hoof beside his muzzle for good measure. “Fairy Lights,” he mouthed. Hornpipe's eyes softened and the pair smiled and nodded. The tension melted away and Heartthrob lifted a hoof to poke at part of a sturdy-looking level of the tower.

The tension in the air on his side of the door was increasing with each breath he took. Alpha walked through the maze of cardboard boxes and the things that were to be stored in them to reach his writing desk, or more specifically the boxes underneath. One slid free and was pried open to reveal glassware nestled in a thick bed of hay: he pulled free from beneath the warm bottles of soda a vial of lavender liquid labeled by hoof with masking tape and marker. With the vial in his magical grasp, he replaced the lid of the box with his mouth and slid it back into place, making sure the corners were aligned just so.

A glance at the moon told him that it was still too early to begin, and the new clock hanging above his door confirmed it. It was only a quarter past eight; if he knew Fae—which he certainly did, after so many years—she would soon be in the bath and preparing for a good night's sleep. He took a deep breath, clambered onto the bed, pulled a dog-eared novel from the shelves on the far wall and tried to get comfortable.

Forty minutes and six discarded books later he'd worked his way down the shelves to the yearbook his parents had bought him at the end of his last year of secondary school. They'd said it was important to have pictures and stories of who he used to be. They'd said it would be fun to look back someday. They'd never seen the little doodles and alterations he'd made one day in red and blue ink, or the single word he left on the half-dozen photos of him the school photographers had taken.

He slammed the book shut and threw it atop the boxes beneath his desk.

His left hindleg was trembling in anxiety. With a muted growl he rolled off of the bed, his hooves loud on the hard wood floor, and walked over to the window. It was nearly time. The clock above the door was holding fast at five minutes to nine, each second a minute, each minute an hour.

Alpha paced up and down the length of his bed, his eyes glued to a little lump on his vanity desk. She said she'd be okay with it for one night, he reminded himself. She drank the potion with me. She ate her half of the reactant. All I have to do is...

That gummy candy was staring at him.

All I have to do is take my half, he continued, and the process should begin within a few minutes.

Then what was stopping him?

He fell onto the bed with a groan and clapped his forehooves over his eyes. I should have just asked her! he thought angrily. I should have told her outright. I can't...

That potion wouldn't stay in Fae's bloodstream forever.

I can't miss my chance.

I can't take the chance! She'll never trust me again if she finds out. She'll never even speak to me! Our friendship would be o—

The university's famous clock tower struck the hour and without thinking he lashed out with his magic. The gummy candy was crushed between his teeth, releasing its sweet and sour juices against his tongue and the back of his throat.

Alpha chewed slowly as the first gush was swallowed down. He couldn't taste the reactant; the tartness of the fruit juice trapped within the candy masked the flavor perfectly. He fell against the side of the bed and blinked a few times. No going back, he told himself firmly. Princess guide me...

He clambered onto the bed, arranged himself comfortably, and reached to his right for the potion he'd retrieved an hour before. 'Sleeping Potion', the label proclaimed. Alpha popped the cork and drained it in one gulp; the chill of menthol burned his tongue and throat. He curled up on his side as a sudden wave of lethargy swept over him in an instant. “It's time...” Patches of pink and white seemed to dance before his eyes and the sleeping potion blurred the edges of his vision. “Pink, eh?” he smiled. “Should've known you'd have a pink bedroom.”

Reality began to fizz and hiss as his mind left his drowsing body...

Three

Alpha's eyes focused on the ce—

He wasn't in a bedroom.

Alpha found himself seated on an overstuffed teal loveseat situated against a wall of creamy white wood, staring into the friendly green eyes of a pink-coated mare who had chosen to sit awfully close. The mare was leaning forward eagerly, her hooves on the couch between her swiss-cheese cutie marks and her nose just inches from Alpha's. “Don't be afraid,” she insisted. “You know you can tell me anything!”

Alpha forced the sudden panic from his muzzle. His mouth moved, but no sound came out. What could come out? What could he say to fool Fae's roommate and best friend?

“Aww, Fae!” the mare whined, her smile bending at the corners. “Come on. Don't leave a girl hanging! What were you gonna say?”

“I don't...” His new voice startled him. It was so familiar, yet something was off. The accent? The pitch? He looked down at his hooves, his new creamy-white hooves, and tried to focus. “I, um...” No, too inflected, too high...

He shifted backward into the couch and peered from one side of his unfamiliar surroundings to the other. The room was much larger than his own dormitory, the floor a sea of plush ivory carpet and glass-and-iron tables and the walls brightly lit by strategically-placed candles and mirrors. Against the wall to his left was a pair of doors stained so dark a brown that it almost hid the whirls of the wood's natural grain.

“I promise I won't tell!” the unicorn beside him insisted, her eyes wide with interest and concern.

“I...” Brie! Her name was Brie. “I'm sorry, Brie,” he said, his borrowed voice stronger with newfound confidence.

Brie leaned forward with her forehooves on her thighs, her nose crinkling in a smug grin. “You like him,” she said certainly.

Alpha's eyebrows twisted in confusion. “Who were we talking about?” But the pieces of the puzzle snapped together before Brie's mouth finished falling open. “Oh! Oh, no,” he said hurriedly. “He's just a friend.”

Brie leaned back into the sofa; her eyes shifted to the other side of the room. “Oh.”

Alpha's eyes lit up as inspiration struck. “And he's gay,” he added.

Brie turned back to Alpha with an expression of uncertainty. “And you're okay with that?”

The extra weight she'd given the words made the affirmation die on his tongue. “Why wouldn't I be?”

Brie shrugged to herself. “Well, that's no fun.” She chewed her lip and glanced at Alpha from the corner of her eye. “Are you gonna be okay, sweetie?” she asked carefully, “I've never seen you act like this before.”

He hid his relieved smile with a turn of his head. “I feel...” How would she say it? “I feel rather faint; I think I should...”

“Go,” she urged him with an understanding nod. “Get some rest. You don't want to sleep through your test tomorrow, do you?”

He nodded and stood, turning to the pair of doors at the far side of the apartment, and froze. Two doors meant two bedrooms and there was no way of telling which was his. He took a nervous step forward.

“What is it, sweetie?”

His legs trembled violently. He could feel his scheme unraveling around him, leaving loose threads long enough to bind his limbs, or worse.

Could you please tell me which of these bedrooms is mine?

Well, funny story, I may or may not have borrowed your friend's body and...

Oh, ponyfeathers...

Suddenly his front was pushed into the air; Brie's head and neck emerged from between his forelegs and gave him a nervous glance. “I really worry about you sometimes,” she told him as she shifted his weight down her back, her tone that of a concerned mother. “You shouldn't let yourself get so worked up over a little argument.”

Alpha buried his nose in her mane. “Thank you.”

The pair walked slowly toward the door on the left, Brie trembling under his sleight weight and Alpha trembling under pressure. Alpha helped as much as he dared, supporting at least some of his weight and keeping pace with his hindhooves, but he allowed Brie to open the door with a burst of blue-green magic.

Alpha couldn't help but stare as they entered Fae's bedroom. It was nothing like what he'd expected. Instead of light and girlish tones the walls and ceiling were paneled in dark hardwood stained to match the door. Unlit mounds of candlewax were scattered sparsely throughout the room on plates of purple or silver. Two simply- but elegantly-sculpted iron candelabras rose up from burgundy-black shag carpet long enough to tickle his fetlocks. A plain floor-length mirror stood next to a smaller door of the same dark wood; on the opposite wall stood Fae's mahogany vanity desk, which was covered with textbooks and three different brushes for her mane and coat. The brass bedframe held a mattress wide and thin that was barely visible beneath a mass of pillows of all shapes and sizes.

Brie led him to the pile, spun in a half-circle and eased him down gently, allowing him to roll from her side onto the pillows. “How bad is it?” she asked as she moved the two fluffiest pillows from the head of the bed and slid them beneath Alpha's head and shoulders. “Should I fetch a nurse?”

“No!” he said hurriedly. He paused to find the right words, Fae's words. “No, thank you. It's... nothing more than a... bout of momentary weakness.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded and burrowed into the pillows. “All I need is some rest tonight and a good breakfast tomorrow,” he assured her.

Brie shrugged. “If you're sure.” She patted his cannon and turned back to the doorway. “Well, sweet dreams.”

Alpha buried his face in the pillows, his eyes open wide and his mouth dry. “Good night, Brie.”

He heard her clopping toward the door, but after just a few steps her hoofbeats stopped. “Hey, Fae?”

Alpha cleared his face of the sudden guilt before he lifted his head toward her. “Yes, Brie?”

“It's gonna be okay, sweetie,” Brie said soothingly. “He'll forgive you. You know how stallions are.”

“Yes, I do,” he said with a forced smile. “Thanks, Brie.”

She closed the door behind her, leaving Alpha alone in the darkness with his thoughts and his stolen form. He stared at the door for some time, blinking slowly and working moisture into his mouth. Finally he rolled onto his other side, buried his muzzle deep into the mound of her pillows—his pillows for the night—and screamed a muted scream of horror.

Four

With shoulders shaking and stomach roiling Alpha screwed his eyes shut and panted. His breath dampened the pillows around his chin and his hooves dug deep into the sheets. “You were supposed to be asleep!” he groaned, pawing at the mattress in frustration. One forehoof dug into a larger pillow and pulled it out from beneath the smaller ones, sending many of them cascading to the floor. He curled his shaking limbs around it. “Why weren't you sleeping? You have a test tomorrow!”

He had to fix this. He had to go back to his dorm and... And what? he asked himself, unable to lift himself from the mattress for the weight of the pessimism flowing through his veins. Wake her up and tell her that I stole her body?

He rolled onto his back and stared at nothing. Maybe I can lie, he thought, stirring up the last of his confidence. A burst of magic lit one of the room's candelabras in the vain hope of chasing the darkness inside away. I could tell her it was somepony else. It was just a practical joke! Nopony could know for sure that I was lying...

Sure, or maybe I made a wish on a falling star and the Mare in the Moon saw fit to grant it...

He bit down on the pillow as hard as he could to stifle the sobs that threatened to break loose. “I've ruined my life." His mouth twisted into a shamed and anxious grimace. “Everything's gone wrong,” he told the pillow in a muted whisper. “This was supposed to be the greatest night of my life. Why did you have to pick tonight to go against your routine?” He punched it halfheartedly and sighed. “Why didn't I just ask you in the first place?” The pillow didn't answer; he pulled it close in a tight, shivering, full-body hug. His hindlegs wrapped around it, shifting to keep from pinching anything between his thighs or...

The tears dried in his eyes as he lifted his head from the pillow. He stared down at his borrowed body and cooed softly.

There was nothing to pinch.

In a flash the haze of despair was gone. Just for tonight, I get to know how it feels to be like her. Just for tonight...

I get to be me.

The rest of the candles around the room lit one by one. Alpha rolled onto his right side and lifted his left leg. Finally, after years of dreams and fantasies, that unsightly flap had disappeared and taken Equestria's most inconveniently-placed pouch with it. All that remained were two nearly-invisible bumps beneath the smooth coat on his belly. He let out a little giggle at the absurdity of it. How do you like that, Fae? Want to see what I'm hiding now?

His horn lit up with an orange glow and sent a wave of tactile magic to explore his new surface. His magic touch traced along the sagittal line where the fur of one side of his coat clashed with that of the other, starting just below the rib cage and trailing slowly downward into the dip of flesh behind it. Smooth. Sleek, he thought. Just as it should be. His touch roamed across the surface and he played for a moment with the fur where that awful spire had once stood. No more awkwardness, no more messes...

The magic crawled upward until it reached the pair of tiny slopes. And these... His magic wasn't enough for those. Alpha crawled backward on his shoulders, forcing the pillows against the foot of the bed, and curled up atop them with his weight on his croup. He stretched a forehoof between his legs and poked delicately the bumps there. They didn't disappear or explode as part of him had feared they would; they merely squished playfully under his hoof. Emboldened, he sent the other hoof to investigate as well.

The hooves traced softly along the outer edges of his new slopes. They tugged alternately at the skin in front of each teat, first the left and then the right. His teats responded in kind, sliding against each other, forward and back. His hooves picked up the pace; Alpha giggled excitedly as he watched them wave like treetops on an autumn afternoon. Wiggle wiggle wiggle...

Alpha breathed a sigh of contentment and let himself slide down the pillows to lay flat on his back with his forehooves on his belly and his hindlegs crossed. As he stared unseeing at the ceiling he slid his hindlegs across each other, reveling in the freedom of movement his new form allowed... And that wasn't the only new freedom. “I can do anything,” he sighed. His forehooves touched delicately along the curves of his muzzle, wonderfully soft and round compared to the angles and lines of his old stallion's muzzle. “I can... I can wear a dress. I don't have to shower with the stallions anymore...”

But he might not be able to enjoy even one night of freedom. When Fae woke up in the morning she would remember drifting off while she was talking to Brie and she would want to know why. Considering the conversation Alpha and Fae had had just prior, Alpha knew she would be suspicious. Could I blame it on stress? he wondered. Was she really that worked up about our argument? Brie seemed to think so, but I don't know...

He rolled out of bed and walked to the floor-length mirror; a cream-coated mare approached from its other side to meet him there. She was a tired young thing with strands of her thick dark mane standing up from her scalp at odd angles. She looks exhausted, he realized. I could just say she must have passed out on the couch... He sighed and stared at Fae's hooves. But how would I know that? Besides, Brie had to walk me to her bedroom and I know she's going to ask Fae about it in the morning. Fae's going to know that she was still awake.

Alpha met Fae's slanted, almost pointed eyes with his own. Her brow was creased with worry and her muzzle twisted in uncertainty, her complexion even paler than usual. To his surprise, that sparked an idea. Could I fake an illness? he wondered. Maybe if I make sure her body is on the bathroom floor when she wakes up—

That's it! he decided jubilantly. It was a reaction to the soda! We ended up with a bad bottle that gave both of us food poisoning. He flashed his perfect teeth in the mirror. Sure, I can fake that! Soon, though, his eyes were drawn upward. Especially with a mane in such a state... Without a second thought he sent a tendril of magic to grasp one of the three brushes upon Fae's vanity desk and went to work.

This, at least, he was used to; his own mane wasn't much shorter than Fae's, after all, and hers was much easier to work with in comparison. The brush slid firmly but carefully through his new waves, lifting his mane from underneath just to smooth it back down. He watched with a determined gaze as bent hairs were straightened and tangles quietly popped under his ministrations.

Soon the smallest of the three brushes floated past to smooth the ruffled fur on his forearm and travel down the limb, straightening any errant hairs he might not see. The brush worked in a ring around one foreleg and then the other, then his hindhooves... It moved upward to his cheeks and the third and largest brush joined in to start on his back. The thick bristles massaged his flesh as they worked his mussed coat into order and tossed to the floor the few stray blades of grass that remained stuck to him from the night's stargazing. The three brushes danced around him as he tossed his head this way and that, his leftover uncertainty melting under their petting.

In no time at all, it seemed, he was finished. Fae's mane and tail were back to their usual bouncy, full-bodied selves and not a single bent hair mussed her sleek lines and curves. She watched him happily from the mirror as he looked over his coat, marveling at the glint of candlelight from its surface. “I'm...” Alpha took a deep breath and leaned into one forehoof; the other met that of his reflection. “I'm beautiful!” He swiveled his back half into view and stared at his new hips, just wide enough to attract attention if the golden eye breaking through the clouds on his flank didn't do the trick. He tossed his tail to watch it bounce and shake, each hair shining in its right place. After a nervous glance toward the door he turned back to the mirror and waggled his rump; the muscles flexed in his flanks, making his tail dance and writhe. “I'm a beautiful mare...”

Finally, I can live the life I've always wanted to live. Memories streamed past his mind's eye: A day at the babysitter's house, playing a dress-up board game with plastic jewels and tin tiaras... I can be myself. A sympathetic shudder and a surge of jealousy as an old friend's hoof brushed against his fiancée's backside... I can have...

He inhaled sharply and looked away, suddenly unable to meet Fae's eyes. It's only for one night, he reminded himself. Don't get carried away.

But there were certain things he could do.

He looked at himself once more in the mirror, took a deep breath, and cantered toward the thick purple cushion placed in front of Fae's vanity desk. His magic cleared the desk's surface and propped open its lid, revealing the smaller mirror within, but nothing of note lay within but a few mementos he didn't recognize. He delved into the drawers, scattering papers and items carelessly as his aura pawed through them. “Come on,” he whispered as he slid the third drawer down on the left side closed and moved on to the right. “Come on...”

His breath caught. Slowly, with reverence, a cloud of orange motes lifted a short plastic rod from the top-right drawer. He stared at it with mixed emotions. An age-old fear of the forbidden made his hooves shake between his thighs, but the heat of the moment and the desire to feel tipped the balance. She had already made one mistake, one that might be difficult to explain away in the morning. What was one more? “Okay, Alpha,” he whispered, staring intently at Fae's reflection. “You've done this before.” The base of the rod twisted in his aura and pulled free, revealing a little wire brush coated heavily in a thin black oil. “Slowly–” he eyed the brush nervously as it floated closer – “and carefully...”

The touch of the bristles to the underside of his lashes made his left eye twitch. “Oh my stars,” he breathed. The brush caught a few dozen of his eyelashes, pulled them into formation and left them shining under the fluorescent light of his magic. “Is this really happening?” Alpha asked his friend in the mirror. Fae smiled and brought the brush back to his eyes. “This is really happening!”

One eye done, it was easy to see what a difference a simple mixture of ash, flax and beeswax could make. His right eye stared back from between lids that looked nervous and excited, but the left... The left eye was confident, innocent... sultry. That was a mare's eye.

Alpha fought down the urge to giggle and brought the brush to her other eye.

Into the drawer she delved time and time again, unburying bottles that had gone unused for weeks or months at a time, discarding nearly-empty containers, tossing lipsticks and hairsprays aside. His heart was set on a few choice items he just knew Fae would have stashed away somewhere, and with patience and determination he found them: powders, blushes, lotions... All were of tints and tones that worked perfectly with his new colors and all were applied with unpracticed but stubborn care. With each new product his grin grew wider and wider.

He was in the midst of brushing creamy-white foundation into the fur of his cheeks when his eyes were suddenly drawn away from the little details he had altered and caught sight of the whole. A beautiful young mare stared back at him from the mirror with large and soulful doe-eyes like molten gold. Her coat complexion was perfectly smooth save for the faint hint of a blush atop the cheekbones and across the bridge of her muzzle.

The mare in the mirror clapped her hooves to her muzzle and squealed with delight. “Oh my stars!” she exclaimed breathlessly.

A loud thump from the other side of the wall dragged her attention away from the mirror. Alpha sat perfectly still, waiting for some sign of suspicion from Brie. Instead she could have sworn she heard muffled laughter!

Alpha laughed with her, leaped from the bench and pranced across the room to the floor-length mirror standing in the corner.

The mare that greeted her there was a perfect specimen of unicorn femininity. The curves and lines of her long, thin legs; the luxurious waves of her gorgeous inky-purple mane that danced around her shoulders with each shake of her head; a fit but full-bodied plot, intimidating and inviting; Alpha was marehood ponified. Alpha was a goddess. She twisted her body, her eyes caressing the gradual curve of the smooth, uninterrupted lines her body followed between her legs and up to her tail, the dainty dip from forehead to muzzle, the softness between her ribs and hips that just begged to be held...

A surge of emotion washed through her. She stood on two with her forehooves on either side of the mirror. “Whatever happens tomorrow,” she whispered with tears of joy beading at the corners of her eyes, “at least I'll have these memories.” She closed her eyes and gave herself a quick peck on the lips, leaving a glossy print on the glass. Alpha looked over at her body from chest to teats and smiled; she pushed away from the wall, fell to all four, and slid the door beside the mirror open.

His mouth dropped open and she squeaked in excitement. Six outfits hung in the closet and more surely awaited her in the bins and boxes stacked neatly to one side. She pulled each of them free from their hangers and held them upright in a ring around her. She spun in the center with wide eyes and hooves tapping in anticipation, drinking in each outfit in turn: a long yellow maxi dress with a low-cut back and intricate embroidery along each seam; a practical but elegant grayish-magenta cloak of what looked like rubberized silk, which would be just perfect for a drizzly spring morning; a cute white number made up of a short cotton jacket and a matching skirt that would barely have covered her dock...

The first two were returned to their hangers and the third floated toward her. She stepped into the skirt carefully. Her magic slid it upward along her legs, over the expanse of her thighs... The elastic sealed snugly around her waist, pinching the top of the skirt here and there to match the ruffles along its bottom. The jacket gave her some trouble, but soon she found herself standing once more in front of the wall mirror with an appreciative eye. Sassy, she grinned as she angled her shoulders and arched her back. Her smile collapsed. But I'm not looking for sassy.

When she finally managed to peel the tiny jacket from her shoulders she returned that outfit to the closet as well, and two more with it. She knew what she wanted. She opened wide her shining eyes and turned her head back to the dress she'd left floating behind her.

It was the dress. You know the one, said the voice of memory. The red one-shoulder evening dress with the sweetheart neckline? He'd only seen her in it once, during a faux ball at the Princess's palace the autumn before. She'd looked gorgeous in it then, enough so that Alpha, stuck in her cobalt dress jacket, had been unable to speak to her all night for the burn of envious bile in her throat. Now... Now she could be that gorgeous. She could be the belle of the ball, the talk of the town...

She could be beautiful.

Alpha pushed off of the mirror and raised her forehooves to the ceiling. The skirt billowed outward as it fell over her face; she closed her eyes as the crisp, smooth taffeta slid over her cheeks, her shoulders. She held her hooves together and squeezed through a waistline narrow enough to pinch her rib cage and broke out the other side, through the open zipper that ran down the back of the dress's bodice. She slid her right forehoof through the shoulder strap and flattened the chest piece to her body with it. A glance in the mirror showed her that the dress still fit just as well as it had six months before, just as Alpha had known it would. She let the air from her lungs and slowly pulled the zipper shut, bending her back away from the material to avoid getting her coat caught in its teeth. The dress constricted her next breath noticeably, but her reflection was worth any amount of shortness of breath.

The gown clung to her like a second skin, following the curves of her chest and hips almost perfectly. It accentuated here and drew the eye away from there, making sure everypony would notice her finest aspects. The blood-red color made her dark mane and pale coat pop, clashing with both but detracting from neither. The curves of her heart-shaped neckline caressed the fur between her shoulders as Alpha skipped toward her reflection and her eyes darted up and down, tracing along her form and drinking in as much of the sight as she could. She drew her hooves up to her chin in excitement.

She couldn't hold it back. Alpha squealed with glee and pranced in exultation. It wasn't just perfect. Her reflection was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She was gorgeous, confident... feminine. Nopony would ever call her 'stallion' again. Everypony would know just who Alpha truly was.

Everypony needed to see this...

She had to show everypony! She spun on her hindlegs, tore open the door, and dashed like a madpony through the dormitory.

She paid no mind to Brie, who watched from the kitchen first in shock, then awe, then joy. “Woohoo!” she cried, pumping a hoof in the air as the front door slammed against the wall. “Go get him!”

As she sped through brick halls painted chocolate brown she passed stray ponies here and there – a pair of colts leaning together outside a doorway, an out-of-breath filly in search of something lost, so many ponies – and one by one, they all turned to stare. Every one of them looked at her. Every one saw her beauty.

Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she darted through the halls toward the courtyard. Look at me, she cried internally as their gazes followed her through doorways and around corners. Look at the most beautiful mare in Canterlot!

The night air was cool on her fur, the grass soft beneath her hooves. A few ponies whistled, a couple made jokes; she paid them no mind. She had somewhere to be. Alpha's laughter bounced from the sidewalks and fountains.

Look at me!

Five

The doors were swept open in a burst of orange light. Alpha swaggered into the cafeteria with half-closed eyes and a wide grin. Her forehooves struck the linoleum with confidence, one directly in front of the other; her swaying tail tossed the hem of her dress this way and that.

The post-graduate campus's cafeteria would be mistaken by anypony but student or faculty for one of Canterlot's low-end diners. Tables and booths were scattered about in a manner that at first seemed carelessly casual, and an older stallion Alpha had come to know well served drinks from behind the bar on the far wall.

A few of the tables and a few of the stools at the bar were occupied by couples, friends, and the lonely, and every head turned to watch her as her hooves carried her toward the bar out of instinct. She didn't need to look at the ponies around her; she could feel them watching. She could almost hear their whispers, their self-impressed bravado and their jealous muttering. They wanted her. They loved her! She shifted her right shoulder to make sure the strap was still straight and tossed her mane over her left as she reached the center of the room.

There she stood, basking in the warmth of their admiration. Most tried to hide their glances, but she knew. She looked from one face to the next, faces she recognized and others she didn't, some smiling and some frowning furiously... Somepony waved to her. She didn't know him, but she waved back before she turned away and promptly forgot about him. Her eyes swam over the field of colors pastel and vibrant, browns and blues and greens and grays... And a purple one; a stallion with a short-cropped cerise mane and the loveliest eyes. It was him.

She sighed in appreciation as her eyes drank in the sight of the well-toned muscles in his chest that strained against his coat, and the way the white javelins on his thighs bent and flexed when he shifted those smooth, hard flanks... Longshot was a dream made flesh wrapped up tight in heliotrope. He was the hero of the school's track-and-field program and still managed to have more skill with the arcane than most of his classmates. Perhaps some small-minded and jealous unicorns thought he had too much talent for one pony; to Alpha, he was just perfect from short-cropped mane to hooves rough from many hard days' work to his beautiful cyan eyes...

...which were staring back at her, and had been for some time. Even worse, he had stood and taken a step in her direction.

Alpha took a step back. It's him he's coming this way what do I say? she whimpered internally. What do I do?

She still hadn't made up her mind by the time he stopped only a foreleg's length from her. “Fairy Lights, right?” he asked.

Alpha's breath caught in her throat. No! she wanted to scream. No, I am Alpha and I am a beautiful mare! She chewed her lip as she stared deep into those eyes, those lovely cyan eyes...

She fell in. She nodded.

Unbeknownst to Alpha, she was quaking like a leaf; Longshot saw it and laughed confidently from deep in his throat. “What's got you so wound up?”

Alpha chuckled with him but it came out wrong, almost a choked sob. “Um...” she tried. “I, um...”

“You nervous?” he asked with a knowing grin.

“Y– No...” She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “Yeah.”

He took another half-step closer; she nearly took one back, but her hooves had become too heavy for her to lift. “Why?” Longshot pressed.

“Because you—” Her teeth clicked shut. She squeezed her eyes tight and shook her head. “I mean...” Her voice was nearly a whisper. “It's just that I didn't expect to see you here tonight.”

“You must have been expecting to see somepony,” he said easily, “looking as beautiful as you do tonight.” Alpha bit her bottom lip to stifle a moan. “I can tell you went all out. Who's the lucky stallion?”

“Me,” she mumbled dreamily. Longshot snickered, showing off a dimple in his right cheek; Alpha's brow scaled her forehead. “I-I mean you! I mean...” Her mouth dropped open and her cheeks burned red with shame. “I didn't mean...”

“Whoa, there,” he chuckled. “I think I get the picture.” He closed the gap between them and kept going, passing his head over her back, her rear. “You're not wearing that for anypony in particular, are you?” he growled happily.

Alpha kept her muzzle pointing straight, but she couldn't help but follow his tail with her eyes. “I was just trying to feel pretty...”

“Filly, you don't have to try,” Longshot assured her with a winning smile. He reappeared on her right side and she tried not to jump away. “You always are.”

The heat in Alpha's cheeks rushed downward along her spine. She lifted a forehoof to her chest to steady her breathing. The hoof traced slowly along the left bump of her heart-shaped neckline as she tried to find the words to say. You too? she tried. Thanks? Wanna go do something?

Longshot's ears perked up. “Like what?”

Alpha twitched violently as she realized that she'd said the last line aloud. “Oh!” She glanced at the floor, the ponies around her, her hoof... anything but the stallion beside her. “I... I don't know.” She tried to meet his gaze, but was scared away by those soulful blue eyes.

“Well,” Longshot said slowly, “why don't I buy you a drink while you decide?”

A flush washed over her from the tip of her muzzle to the dock of her tail. “Yes,” she breathed, the words almost a hiss.

Longshot smirked and offered her a shoulder; Alpha licked her lips and leaned into it hesitantly. “Oh goddess,” she whispered as the touch of flesh on flesh sent shivers down her spine.

He stared down at her with mixed excitement and uncertainty. “You alright?” he asked.

Alpha looked up into his eyes with such passion that he couldn't help but beam back. “I'm wonderful,” she whispered. She leaned more heavily into his frame and together the pair made their way to the bar, their hoofsteps echoing together through the renewed buzz of gossip.

Tending it was none other than one of Alpha's favorite ponies on campus. He was a middle-aged stallion with a blue-green coat speckled with rusty red guardhairs. He boasted a thick moustache and sideburns to match his carmine mane. His ever-present apron of a teal so dark as to look almost black was nearly immaculate; he must have washed it since Alpha had seen him last. His reddish-brown eyes twinkled as they approached. “Look at you two,” he said with a smile. “A beautiful young lady and her handsome prince. You look ready for a ball at the Palace!” He placed his forehooves on the counter and leaned in to touch noses with Alpha. “It almost warms my old heart.”

A nervous giggle bubbled out from between Alpha's lips, and before she could stop it the rest followed. Alpha shook with the force of the laughter that escaped her to fill the cafeteria from one wall to the other. She collapsed onto a stool and had to hold onto the bar to keep herself upright.

Longshot smiled nervously and gave the bartender a look, uncertain of whether to be angry at him for setting her off or hide behind him in case she got worse. “She's fine,” the older stallion assured him. “Give her a minute.”

She eventually regained enough control of herself to nod. “I'm sorry!” She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “I'm just so happy...”

“So what'll you have?” the barkeep asked her.

“Perry,” Longshot interrupted.

The barkeep rolled his eyes. “And for the lady?” he said pointedly.

Again came the smile, but at least she was able to keep her mirth in check. “Birch beer,” she chirped. “Warm.” His eyes lit up in recognition, then pinched tight at the corners. After a moment's thought Alpha nearly bit her tongue. “I mean, um...”

He just shook his head, snagged a pair of mugs in his telekinetic grip and stomped off toward a cabinet Alpha had visited herself on many an occasion. When the old stallion returned it was usually with a smile, but this time a touch of bitterness tainted his expression. Gone were his humor and pleasantries; he placed the mug on the table forcefully enough to send the crack of glass on wood echoing through the room. “Where's your friend?” he muttered sourly as his sea-green aura tossed a half-dozen ice cubes into the other mug and worked the tap of a barrel under the bar, releasing a strong aroma of pears.

Longshot had looked ready to fight for her honor, but the barkeep's words made him turn his glare toward Alpha. “Wait, are you with somepony?”

“No!” she cried defensively. Her eyes darted from one stallion to the other. “He's not my coltfriend. He's gay!”

The barkeep's frown lessened but didn't fade. “Enjoy your drinks,” he muttered, and with that he made his way to the other end of the bar.

Longshot's glare followed him; his hooves were spread wide on the top of the bar. “What was that about?”

Alpha shook her head. “I come in here with... this friend of mine every once in a while,” she explained. “We're such good friends that some ponies just assume that we're dating.”

“Which you're not,” he concluded, but the tail end of a question was tacked on at the end.

“Right.”

“But what does he care?” Longshot tipped his head toward the barkeeper. “It's none of his business!”

“He's, um...” She had to pause and line the words up in her head in advance. “My friend may have told him about some things that made it seem like there was more going on than there really is.”

“'Some things', huh?” Longshot said with a wink. “Is that how your friend figured out he's gay?”

Her mouth dropped open. “No!” she squeaked, her cheeks flushing. “We haven't done anything! I just know he's gay.”

“Yeah, I know,” Longshot chuckled. He nudged her beneath the ribs with a hoof. “I'm just playing.”

Alpha drew away from his touch. “I mean, he's, like... He's always staring at colts...”

“Hey, it was just a joke!” he said with a placating gesture of his hooves. “Jeez. This guy's really bothering you, isn't he?”

Alpha looked up to see the barkeeper occupying himself with a few barrels and a checklist at the far end of the bar. “He's fine,” she muttered, but her eyes seemed to have glued themselves to the bar. “He's just trying to help.”

“Really?” Longshot said with a humorless smirk. “He's not doing a very good job of it.” Alpha tapped her hooves on the bar, one on either side of her birch beer. “Do you want to go somewhere else?”

“No, it's fine,” she sighed. “We can just ignore him.”

He shrugged and lifted his perry in a haze of cyan. “If you want.” A few sips gave him time to plan his next move. “So, what's with the dress?” he asked casually.

“Oh, I don't know,” she replied, her shoulders slumped and her eyes still on the bar. “I just wanted to do something special tonight.”

“It looks really good on you.”

That cut through the dark cloud that had fallen over her. “You think so?” she asked, her voice higher than expected.

“I mean it!” he assured her. “It really, uh... brings out your eyes!”

Alpha let out a breath that could almost be considered a laugh. “It does not,” she argued, but the corner of her mouth was lifted in pleasure. “You're just trying to be nice, aren't you?”

He smiled back for a moment. “Well, I can't pick just one thing to compliment you on.” He leaned back on his bench and eyed her up and down. “You look really good.”

She ducked her head, but her shoulders straightened. “Thanks.”

“Like, the mane, the dress...” He threw out his forehooves to encompass her ensemble. “You...”

“Oh, piffle,” she muttered through a smile like sunshine. “I know what you're up to—He's watching me!”

“What?”

Alpha's frown had returned and her eyes were fixed on the barkeep. “I caught him,” she hissed. “He was staring at me and when I looked up, he looked away.”

“Look, Fairy Lights, we can leave if you want to. We've got our drinks.”

“But this is my place...” She scrubbed her hooves across the bar, the familiar grooves of its waxed surface were unable to soothe her nerves this time. “I like it here—Carmine, please!”

The cafeteria fell silent.

Alpha had stretched her neck out to its fullest extent and was glaring at the bartender with pain and fury in her eyes. Carmine stared right back with no expression. After a moment he lifted a forehoof and twirled it.

Her stomach sank into her hooves. She twisted her head around and, just as she feared, there stood a orange-coated mare with bright blue eyes, an emptied glass held high, and the flush of embarrassment on her cheeks. “Uh...” The glass floated past them to rest on the bar. “Another juice medley, please,” the mare said with a self-conscious grin.

Alpha slowly turned her eyes back to the drink between her hooves. “Sorry, everypony,” she mumbled as loudly as she dared.

Longshot's foreleg dragged her into his chest. “Hey,” he said softly. “It's not your fault.” She shook against him and said nothing. “I mean it,” he insisted. “He's trying to get into your head. I know he is. Can't we just get out of here?”

When she finally found her voice it was that of a mouse. “Could we please find a booth?” she begged, her eyes downcast.

“Yeah,” he said immediately, standing and helping her to her hooves. “Sure. A booth sounds great.” He took her shoulder once more and led her away from the bar. “Show's over, everypony,” he said angrily. Alpha shuddered, but the others went back to their games and conversations, or at least pretended to.

When they finally reached the far wall Alpha collapsed into the first booth she could find. “Oh goddess,” she whispered. Worry tightened her eyes and left faint creases in her makeup. “I'm s-so sorry, Longshot.”

Longshot frowned as he slid onto the bench beside her. “He's the one who should be sorry,” he said with a pointed glare in Carmine's direction.

“No!” she said angrily with a firm shake of her head. “Just... this whole night. I-I shouldn't have m-made a scene... I shouldn't even have talked to you, I shouldn't...”

The rest of her words were muffled by his shoulder when Longshot grabbed her around the shoulders and pulled her close. “You didn't do anything wrong, Fairy Lights,” he said softly. Her hooves pressed against his chest but he held on tight with one foreleg; the other hoof touched down on the soft space behind her ear and slid through her mane. Alpha jumped and shivered against him. “You don't deserve to be treated like that,” he continued. “A mare so beautiful deserves better than that. You deserve to be treated like a Princess.”

“Oh goddess, you're so sweet too,” she moaned into his chest. If only we had come to know each other under different circumstances...

He loosened his grip. “What was that?”

She turned her muzzle away from his flesh, maybe nuzzling his pecs just a little more than necessary. “I said... you're very sweet,” she replied with a faint blush. “And kind.” She pulled her forehooves against her chest and her chin burrowed between them. “You should hate me.”

“So you're not having your best night,” he said dismissively. “Maybe I can make it better.”

“You shouldn't,” she said firmly, but her hooves snaked around him and held on tight. “I don't want you to get hurt.”

Longshot smirked and his hooves traveled over her shoulders, along her barrel to rest atop her hips. “Worth it,” he said wistfully.

She shifted her hips beneath his touch, her heart's discomfort at war with her body. “I-it's really not.”

“Hey. I'd do anything for my Princess.”

Alpha's eyes widened and her pupils shrank. She forced her hooves between their barrels and pushed herself away to stare into his eyes. “Y-your...?”

Longshot watched confidently as the blood rushed to the surface of her cheeks and her chest. “If you'll have me.”

Alpha was suddenly acutely aware of just how sensitive her teats were. She could feel her gown sliding across their tips like two electric shocks with each shift of a limb. “Um...”

“You're turning pink from tip to tail,” he said softly, his eyes roving along her length.

“Sorry,” she muttered self-consciously. She twisted away from him and cradled her birch beer to her chest. The room-temperature glass gave her only passing relief. “I'm just feeling a bit warm.”

He grinned fiendishly and leaned closer until his mouth was just a hair's breadth from her ear. “Then maybe we should get you out of that dress...”

She jolted as if he'd touched her. Her heart was pounding in her ears; her tail flicked and twisted against her rump. “I...”

“What do you say, Princess?”

Her breath came out a whine. “I want...” The warmth coursed through her. A strange and wonderful sense of pressure was building deep within her hips and just against the taffeta of her evening dress as it slid against her skin with each shift of her body. “I don't...”

Suddenly his hoof gripped her own. “It's okay, Fairy Lights,” he said slowly, lifting her hoof to shoulder level. He leaned forward and frowned faintly at her, emotion making those beautiful, wonderful, caring cyan eyes sparkle. “I don't want to pressure you into anything you're not ready for.” His lips were almost pursed over her hoof.

“I'm ready!” she squeaked.

The smug grin nearly returned as he placed his other hoof atop hers. “Then would you do me the honor of allowing me to walk you home, Fairy Lights?” he beseeched her. “We can take the long way, stop by the park.” His eyes narrowed, casting a darker light over his smile. “Nopony will see us there.”

A sudden heat wave knocked the breath from her lungs. “I shouldn't,” she panted. She shook her head. “I can't!”

“W—” Longshot's smile faltered for a fraction of a second. “Why not?” he asked. “You want this. I want this.” His hoof stroked her shoulder perhaps more firmly than he'd intended. “Just go with it.”

She stared at the hoof upon her. “Because...” Because I'm a liar! A thief! The very worst of ponies! “B-because...”

A blue hoof clopped down on the counter between them, and Alpha was surprised at how well terror and relief could complement each other. The feeling was something new and indescribable, but it strong enough to break her. A heaviness she hadn't felt in months settled into her shoulders as she followed the limb up to a familiar pair of brown eyes. She whimpered beneath the glare of her own eyes.

“You,” 'Alpha' mumbled, eyelids drooping and head bobbing on a neck too tired to support it. “Outside.”

“Whoa, there,” Longshot said softly, but the words bore a dangerous edge. “You look like you've had a few too many ciders. Why don't you go to your dorm and get some sleep?”

'Alpha' turned slowly toward him. “'I am not salted,” she slurred in Alpha's voice. “Now.”

Longshot's hoof landed atop 'Alpha's' and held it in place. “I'll take care of her,” he said firmly. "You leave now."

“Longshot, wait!” Both stallions turned to her with shock on their muzzles. “Just... Just give us a minute.”

“A minute?” 'Alpha' muttered.

“Two minutes,” she begged. “Just wait here. I'll...”

“You'll what?” her friend snarled. She leaned in closer. “Are you trying to have sex with him?” she whispered angrily.

Longshot heard him just fine and his ears flattened against his scalp. “That's enough out of you,” he growled. “Fairy Lights, just say the word.”

“No.” She stood and lowered her gaze to the floor. “No, this is...”

“Come on, Fairy Lights,” 'Alpha' spat. She ducked her head toward the side door. Alpha took a step away from the table.

“Fairy Lights!”

She placed one hoof in front of the other, head hanging low and hooves like pendulums, until the oppressive heat of the late spring met her at the doorway. She couldn't make herself look back at the poor colt she left behind as she made her way into the alley. Alpha closed the door behind them.

The stallion behind the counter beckoned to Longshot. “Come on over, kid,” Carmine sighed. “I think you're gonna be here a while.”

Six

Alpha's hoofsteps echoed loudly on the cobblestone path nestled between the campus's bar and its neighbor. Her breath was a shallow panting; the once-warm and thunderous blood that coursed through her had become poison. She moved nervously to one side as Fae closed the door. “F-Fae, I'm—”

Two arctic-blue hooves grabbed her by her heart-shaped front panel and the world spun. It came to a sudden halt when her head rebounded from the stone wall beside the door. “Give it back,” Fae snarled, baring Alpha's broken tooth in fury.

The blood drained from her muzzle. Her quaking hindlegs wouldn't have supported her without Fae's grip. “I will!” she shrilled. “Please, don't!”

Fae's borrowed brown eyes narrowed into slits. “Now, Alpha!”

“I-I can't!” Her forehooves pushed against Fae's pasterns to no avail. “I don't have an antidote. It'll wear off in a few hours, just be pa—”

Fae dug her hooves into Alpha's chest and her words trailed off into a squeak of pain. “This is not a game, you... you monster!” she slurred. “You drugged me and stole my body!”

“I didn't steal it!” Fae's lips peeled back from her teeth. “I didn't! I was just... just trading it for a few hours, I swear.”

“And then what?” she spat. “Then I'd wake up next to Mister Track-and-Field with no idea how I'd gotten there?”

“No, Fae, no!” She stopped fighting Fae's hooves and held up her own in what she hoped would be a placating gesture. “That was an accident!”

Her shoulder blades thumped into the stones behind her. “Don't feed me that!” Fae screamed hoarsely. “I've seen you staring at him. Everypony has seen it!”

“B-but I didn't think he'd...” Her chin was beginning to go numb. “I just wanted to feel what it was like to—”

“You don't get to make that choice!”

“I had to try!” Alpha shrieked, flinging spittle in her face. Tears of anguish rolled down her cheeks. “I had to!”

She sneered up at him. “Monster,” she snarled. She pushed her back into the wall and then jerked hard upon her chest piece and shoulder strap, spilling Alpha across the cobblestones. Alpha yelped as her right pastern and knee took the brunt of the impact. “I can't believe you would do such a thing, Alpha,” she muttered. “You chose your Celestia-damned fetish over your best friend. Do you know what it was like for me?”

Alpha sobbed as she clambered onto three legs. She stayed low to the ground and stared up at her friend's fury with ears flat and tail tucked.

“I'll tell you,” Fae continued heatedly. “At first I was so dizzy that I thought I was dreaming, but no, I was in this body and it was so very real!” She took a step forward and Alpha stumbled back defensively. "Do you know what it feels like to wake up as somepony you're not?”

Alpha fell back onto her haunches and covered her mouth with her hooves. “Yes,” she moaned, “every day. Every day!”

“I've never felt so... so wrong!” Fae continued. “It was horrible! I was so scared I couldn't even cry.”

“Damn it, Fae, I know!” Alpha barked through her tears. She surged up from the stones, pacing on three legs. “That's my life! I wake up to that every day. I look in the mirror and I see this... this stallion, and I just want to reach through it and kill him for being there. Every time I go to the bathroom, or... or see somepony that I want to...” His head fell. “I feel like nopony I ever meet gets to know the real me,” he muttered. “They meet this colt who pretends to be me, and the mare I am inside is all alone, trapped in my own head. I just want to go into class and say hi, and have everypony see me as... as me for once, you know? As...”

“As a filly,” Fae said blandly.

Alpha sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her injured hoof. “Yeah.”

“You're a mare now?”

“I always have been,” she explained. “It's just that my outside doesn't... doesn't match up.”

Fae's voice didn't change. “Why didn't you tell me this before?”

“Because...” She shook her head. “Because I'm scared,” she sighed.

“Of course you're scared,” Fae argued. She growled and kicked at an upturned cobblestone. “This is crazy! But you were my friend, Alpha, and I love you, okay?” She turned her eyes to some old chalk graffiti. “It wouldn't matter if you're a stallion or a mare,” she said softly. “You're still my Alpha.”

Alpha almost smiled, but Fae forestalled her with a glare. “But this? You went way too far, Alpha. You broke my trust in the worst possible way. You... You put a potion in that drink we shared, didn't you?” Defeated, Alpha nodded without a word. “And then this sleeping spell... The only things keeping me awake are a pick-me-up from one of your roommates and an unhealthy amount of adrenaline.”

“I'm sorry,” she mumbled. “I should have asked.”

“You should have—” Fae's exhausted horn sparked with fury. “Of course you should have asked!”

“I mean it!” Alpha took a baby step closer, her shoulders and head held low. “I'm sorry I did this to you, Fae. If I could take it back, I would.”

“No, Alpha,” she growled. “That doesn't cut it. You didn't just steal my body. You stole my name and my reputation—”

She lifted a hoof. “I didn't want—”

“—and used them for your own selfish gratification!” She pointed an accusatory hoof at her with a glare to match. “You are sick, Alpha.”

“No!” she cried. “I got caught up in the moment. It wasn't supposed to be like this!”

“You're done exploring this—” Fae frowned in distaste. “—this twisted fetish of yours.”

“Fae, this isn't a fetish,” Alpha tried to explain. “It's not like I just went out here to shag somepony!”

“No,” she replied with a roll of her eyes. “You merely wanted to doll yourself up and go for a stroll across campus. The fact that you ended up at the bar, in my best dress, having drinks with the stallion of your dreams?” She laughed mirthlessly. “An accident!”

“But that was an accident!” she argued. “I didn't do anything that you wouldn't have allowed.”

“Then what did you do to it?”

“N-not much... Just...” She shrugged and chewed her lip, spreading a fine layer of gloss across the tips of a few teeth. “Filly stuff. I'll replace the makeup I used, I promise!”

Fae gave Alpha as level a look as she could manage with a twitching cheek. “I spoke to Brie," she growled. "She says that she heard you squealing in my bedroom.”

Her eyes widened and her aching hoof lifted to her chest. “It's not what you think!”

“Is it what she thinks?” she countered.

“No! I just... well...” Alpha bared her teeth in a smile like a grimace. “I was just applying makeup and trying on clothes in front of the mirror. That's all.”

Fae lifted a hoof to her forehead. “Of course you were.”

“And then I just... like... I don't know,” she stammered. “I just...”

“And then you got an eyeful.”

Alpha blinked. “What?”

“You got an eyeful, didn't you?” Fae spat. “And then things 'got out of hoof', didn't they?” She framed the words with sarcastic twitches of a raised forehoof. “I'll bet you did a lot more in front of that mirror than just try on clothes.”

"Fae, please, it's not perverted!” she insisted. “I was nothing if not respectful.”

“Oh, please!” Fae barked. “You stallions are all the same. I know exactly what you would have done when you found yourself in a mare's body.”

“Make myself feel pretty for the first time in my life,” Alpha shot back. “Pose in front of the mirror.” She climbed to her hooves with renewed confidence and took a slow step forward. “Play with my hair. Polish my hooves. Smile at the other ponies and watch them smile back.” Fae shook her head, her eyes narrowed in suspicion, but Alpha met Fae's glare with her own and did not back down. “I don't want to be a filly because it's sexy,” she said firmly. “I want to be one because it's who I am. At this point I don't care if I ever have sex; I just want to be able to...” She lifted a hoof toward the door of the bar. “To walk into a restaurant and have the waiter call me 'miss', or stay with the other girls in the mares' dorms without somepony freaking out, or... You know.” Her tone had softened, but the heat never left her eyes. “Just blend in with the other mares.”

“But Alpha, you're not blending in,” Fae countered. “You've stolen who I am. Those ponies in the bar... Longshot doesn't know you exist. He wants me, not you.”

Alpha's muzzle crinkled. “I know.”

“He thinks he had drinks with me,” she continued. “He's going to tell everypony about this. My friends will think less of me. Everypony will! Look at yourself!” She gestured at Alpha's rumpled front. “An evening gown for a late-night stroll? What will the other mares think?”

“I know, Fae,” she mumbled. “I'm sorry. I didn't think it through.”

She turned her head to the side and shook it sadly. “I know.”

“I didn't think I would hurt anypony,” she insisted.

“I know!” Her shoulders began to tremble.

“I just wanted to feel—”

“Shut up.” Fae's voice shook with emotion. “Shut your Celestia-damned mouth, Alpha. You did a horrible thing.” She placed a forehoof on Alpha's chest and pushed her toward the mouth of the alley.

Alpha ducked away and lowered her shoulders and haunches. “Please, Fae, don't!” she whimpered. “You're only hurting your own body!”

“I'm not going to hurt you.” She followed her back and pushed her again. “You don't get to play the victim. You and I are going to march right up to the Headmistress's quarters and you are going to tell her exactly what you did, do you understand?” She prodded her shoulder until Alpha turned toward the campus's administration offices.

“Okay, Fae,” she whispered. Left with no other alternative, Alpha turned the corner and walked toward the end of her academic career. “Okay.”

Neither of them noticed the great shadow that passed between them and the moon.

Seven

Somehow the news had traveled faster than their hooves could carry them. The waiting room was empty save for the two mares and the guardsponies that had met them at the door. Alpha lay low on her bench with her head on her pasterns; on the opposite side of the room Fae remained upright, but even as Alpha watched she leaned sleepily to one side before jerking upright with a grunt of effort. Each could almost hear the gears turning in the other's mind.

Soon, though, the fog of silence grew too thick for Fae's taste. “Did you brew this potion yourself?” she asked.

Alpha didn't look up. “Yes.”

“Then will you brew an antidote? I want my body back.”

Her muzzle looked more pinched than ever. “I couldn't brew it quickly enough for it to matter,” she said irritably. “It'll wear off in a few hours.”

Fae looked down her barrel and once again pressed her thighs together. “Are you sure?”

Alpha growled under her breath. “Yes, I'm sure! I wouldn't have taken the risk if I'd thought it would hurt you.”

“Don't get snippy with me,” Fae scoffed. “This is your own fault.”

“I'm not angry because I got caught,” she said harshly. “I'm angry because you're treating the worst part of my existence so dismissively, as if it's nothing more than some kink.”

Smugness and exhaustion lowered Fae's eyelids into half-moons. “What would you have expected of me, hm?”

“I expect you to know me better than that.”

“I see now who you really are,” Fae muttered.

Alpha glowered at her. “No, you see some perverted colt who only did this to get his rocks off!”

Fae looked at her in silence. “You told me that you are something else on the inside,” she said finally. “and though I can't be sure if you are mad or simply strange, I believe you. Still, it's an otherwise accurate assumption, is it not?”

“No,” Alpha argued, her voice uncomfortably close to a whine. “I'd say it's as far from 'accurate' as you can get.”

Fae rolled her shoulders in agitation. “Oh, will you stop being such a pissy little bitch?” she said sharply.

Her head spun on her neck. “Did you just call me...?”

“That's right.” Fae looked down her nose at Alpha. “You're a pissy little bitch. You are not special and you do not get to abuse my body and get away with it by spinning me a sob story. Get over yourself.”

Alpha's lips parted, closed, parted again. "I'm not trying to pretend I'm in the right, Fae. I know what I did was wrong."

“Don't pretend you didn't get your kicks before you went to the bar," she huffed. "I know how you stallions are.”

“And I know how whores are!”

Her jaw dropped. “Wha— Did you—” she sputtered. “I am—” Alpha turned her muzzle away. “Take it back,” Fae growled bitterly.

“No.”

“I said take it back!”

“No,” she repeated in the exact tone of voice. "You're the one who's always staring at other ponies, not me. You're the one whose first thought about gender transformation was fooling around, not me. I bet that's what kept you awake despite the spell of the potion, isn't it?"

Fae leaped from her bench. “I am not—”

Both guards' horns lit, bathing their corners in pink and periwinkle. “Back on your bench!” the one on her side ordered sharply.

After a tense but brief moment Fae growled in exasperation and plopped down; the old wood creaked beneath its padding. “I am not a whore,” she barked.

“And I'm not a pervert,” Alpha mumbled.

“Of course you are,” she sneered. “Just look at yourself!”

Alpha did just that. She stared down at her chest, covered by a rumpled red taffeta worn rough on the cobblestones. The strap had twisted and fallen from her shoulder. If she focused her eyes just so, she could see the darkness of mascara on her cheeks and the bridge of her own muzzle. Her wrist ached, her heart ached... Everything she'd held dear had slipped away. Her friends were gone. Her future, gone. Everything she'd worked for... gone.

“This isn't worth it,” Alpha said firmly.

Fae snorted. “Oh, now he sees it.”

“This is too high a price to pay for sex,” she continued. “I've done a lot of stupid things tonight, Fae, but I thought they were for good reasons. I would never have risked hurting you just for some momentary gratification.”

Fae shifted backward on her bench. “Horseappl—” She held a hoof to her mouth to cover a yawn.

“Don't say that! You know I care about you, don't you?”

The mares watched each other in silence as Fae tried to find something to say. Her eyes darted away and back so fast that Alpha almost missed it. “Yes, I know you do, but...”

“Then why do you keep treating me like some kind of monster?” Her chest finally rose from the bench.

“This isn't about you! Any mare would be horrified at the thought of some pervert having his way with her body!”

“You're the one who thought it would be fun to try for a night!” Alpha cried over her. “I actually care about my new body!”

“It's not your body!”

“That's enough!” a third voice screamed.

Both mares turned to the open doorway to the Headmistress's office. The mare herself stood just inside and glared at Alpha. “Come in,” she ordered, tossing her dry straw mane toward the interior. “Both of you.”

Fae staggered to her hooves. To her surprise Alpha beat her to the door, but Fae nearly walked into her tail when she stopped dead in the doorway. “Go on, Alpha,” she said firmly, with a prod to her rump for good measure. “There's no point in...”

Her words trailed off as she spotted what—who—kept Alpha pinned to the threshold. “Princess?!”

The Headmistress stood with a hoof on the doorknob and her magic tugged at Alpha's dress to get her moving. Alpha's steps were uncertain, but she was quick to choose a bench just across from her Princess and sit down without a word. Fae followed slowly and stood just inside the room.

Princess Celestia rested on her haunches behind the Headmistress's desk and continued to read the book that lay flat before her. It was a picture book of some kind that held her attention, or perhaps a magazine. She looked just as she had when Alpha had seen her last, the day after the very same ball that had turned Alpha's jealousy into something more. She towered head and shoulders over the other three mares, yet was easily the most regal and graceful of them all. Her lips carried the hint of a frown as she turned to the next page, her eyes soft but firm as they scanned each page.

As Fae walked past, the Headmistress held something out to her in her aura: a familiar pair of dark gray glasses. Fae balanced them on her nose amateurishly, but with the Headmistress's help they soon rested naturally in the dimples they'd formed in Alpha's muzzle over the years. With a smile of gratitude she took a seat on the bench beside Alpha's.

The Headmistress swung the door shut and walked to her place beside the Princess. She looked no better than Fae; heavy lines crinkled the corners of her eyes and her shoulders drooped tiredly. She couldn't even muster up the energy for a preamble. “Alpha, I have rarely been so ashamed of one of my students,” she began. She rested her forehead in her hoof and sighed. “Every year around this time I expect to deal with mares and stallions doing something to get themselves hurt, but this?” She shook her head. “You broke a number of laws tonight and many of them would have earned you jail time on the spot had you not been here at school, under Princess Celestia's care.

“As it stands, we here at the School understand that the temptations of powerful magic are at times overwhelming, especially to a pony who chooses to enter the post-graduate campus. We hope that by the time you come into such power you will have the maturity to wield it as a unicorn should, but there are always stragglers.” Alpha's frown deepened and the slow burn of humiliation tightened her chest. “When the worst happens, we try our best to correct that kind of behavior through positive reinforcement. The School is a place of understanding and second chances, as our Founder intended.”

She leaned back onto her haunches and looked Alpha dead in the eye. “However, while you have done tonight did not result in the injuries I typically expect from the activities of restless students, that doesn't make it any less despicable.” She turned to Fae, who blinked rapidly and straightened her neck at the attention. “The pony you did hurt may never be the same. What you have done is the equivalent of rape.”

“No!” Alpha threw herself onto the desk. “I didn't do anything of the sort. I resisted every urge,” she exclaimed with eyes burning and mane shining in the light of the candelabras. “The stallion of my dreams was throwing himself at me and I resisted! Hay, I could have stayed inside and explored her body myself if I'd wanted that. Instead I did this.” She lifted a hoof to her crooked makeup and her rumpled mane. “This is what I wanted. I wanted to be beautiful, not sexy. I wanted to... to experience life as a mare, for once.” She lowered her eyes and gestured to her front. “This was the only potion I could find.”

“That's not what I meant, Alpha,” said the Headmistress sharply. “The real trauma of rape is not physical.”

She fell back onto her bench. “I know, but she said she wouldn't mind being a stallion for one night! I had to try.”

Fae let out a grunt of disbelief. “All I said was that it might be fun! I did not give you permission!”

“I know!”

The Headmistress steepled her hooves against her muzzle. “If Fairy Lights were to say that she wanted to try a new manestyle, would it be okay for you to cut it into the style you thought would look nice on her while she slept?”

“No, but this isn't permanent...”

“If she said she needed to relax, would you spike her drink with muscle relaxers and psychedelic drugs?”

Alpha blanched; the Headmistress couldn't have known, but her question hit too close to home. “No,” she squeaked.

“Then why is this any different?”

She opened her mouth and could say nothing. Because I wanted this to happen, she scolded herself. Because I didn't care about the consequences.

“I think I understand,” Princess Celestia said calmly. She leaned back from the desk and stared down at Alpha with no expression, neither the expected anger nor the usual benevolent twinkle in her eyes. “This is not a spur-of-the-moment decision,” she continued. “This took years to come to the surface.” Alpha nodded hesitantly. The Princess's magic slid the book slowly to rest between Alpha's hooves. “Tell me about these photographs.”

Alpha's eyes began to sting as she stared down at a familiar scene. There stood Fae in the forefront; some colt or another had his forehoof around her shoulder and his cheek against hers. Fae beamed at him with one eye closed, showing those perfect teeth to the camera. Her mane was immaculate, her coat straight and even; the fur on her ears was even brushed upward to create an illusion of size, giving her the youthful appearance of an adorable young filly who hadn't quite grown into her body.

In the background sat a pair of colts in conversation. One was gesturing animatedly at the other, who looked to be arguing back. The second pony's eyes couldn't be seen through the glare of sunlight on his glasses, but in spite of how unfocused the background of the photograph was, Alpha could have make out the waves of his mane and the gap where there once was a tooth fragment left on the streets of Canterlot.

Alpha remembered these details, though she couldn't quite make them out through the smears left behind by a red felt-tipped marker.

Her lips trembled as she stared at the photograph. “You found my yearbook,” she whimpered.

“Do you truly believe this?” the Princess pressed.

Alpha stared down at the photograph. The stallion's entire body had been washed out by red ink. Jagged letters floated above his horn: 'UGLY'. Her eyes shifted to the photograph, where she had carefully filled in Fae's form with blue ink. Sprawling beneath her was another word: 'Beautiful'.

She lifted her eyes to the Princess's. “S-sometimes,” she allowed. She hunched her shoulders defensively as Fae tried to peer over them.

“How often is 'sometimes'?”

Alpha turned back to the book. “Usually.” She sniffed. “A-always.”

The yellow light of the Princess's magic swept the yearbook away. “You altered every photograph of the two of you in this yearbook,” she noted. “It must have taken you a long time.”

“Two nights,” she said stiffly. Two horrible nights.

“I also noticed that you were careful with the blue ink,” she added. “You didn't cross over the lines once and you were careful not to mark her clothing.” She flipped through the pages to the collection of students' photographs – mugshots, as the class often called them – to find one in particular. The picture was of Fairy Lights, who had dressed up in two necklaces, a fine blouse, and a feather for her ear. Fae had turned blue. “I thought at first that you had meant the red ink for the bad and blue for good, but there's more to it than that, isn't there?”

Alpha turned her head away.

“You weren't just jealous of her beauty,” the Headmistress said softly. “You wanted to take her place.”

Fae gasped and shifted away from Alpha. “He what?”

“It's not like that!” Alpha cried, exasperation pushing her once more to the brink of tears. “I don't want to be Fae. I want to be like her!” Her hooves reached out for her friend, but Fae slapped them away in horror. “I want to be as beautiful as you are,” she moaned, her voice rough and uneven. “You are the perfect mare that I have always wanted to be! I don't want to be a stallion anymore. I just want to be like you!”

“Look at me, Alpha.”

She turned to her Princess, unshed moisture beading along her eyelashes.

“How did this happen?” Princess Celestia asked. “When did it start?”

She took a deep, calming breath. “It got really bad when the other girls started maturing.”

“And you didn't.” Alpha nodded. “You have had these thoughts for more than a decade.”

“Far more.” She twisted her hooves. “Even when I was a child I wanted to be like the fillies. If we were separated into boys' lines and girls', I tried at first to stand with the fillies. One year I almost asked my mom to buy me a Hearth's Warming dress, but I thought the colts would make fun of me, so I...”

Light, how she'd hated that sweater.

The Princess nodded and Alpha missed the flicker of empathy in her eyes. “Have you ever told anypony about these thoughts?”

Alpha's head fell. “Not a soul,” she whispered.

“Why not?”

She blinked and glared up at the Princess. “Are you k–” She nearly bit her tongue to hold the words back. “I'm sorry, Princess, but I couldn't,” she said more moderately. “I know what everypony will think. They won't really believe that I am who I say I am; they'll just see me as a stallion in mare's clothing. Even if they do believe me, they'll think I'm crazy!”

The Princess had the gall to smile kindly at her. “I don't think you give the city of Canterlot enough credit,” she said certainly. “I have lived through many civil and social revolutions and every one of them began with a single voice.”

Alpha snorted. “Unless that voice gets squashed before it can be heard.”

Celestia lowered her eyes to her hooves. “Alpha...” She sighed heavily and climbed to her hooves. “I once knew a pony like you, almost a thousand years ago.” She turned her back on her three subjects and stared out the window toward the great disc of the moon. “She didn't share your distaste for her body, but like you, she thought that nopony understood her and nopony ever would. She felt such resentment and anger, but she kept it all bottled up until one day...” When she turned from the window her eyes had fluttered shut. “One day that resentment overwhelmed her. She lost herself to it and became something else, something so hateful and violent that even I could not save her.” It was with heavy hooves that she returned to her place at the desk, and her voice was just as heavy. “Every night since, I have regretted not asking her to speak to me about it sooner. I thought that all she needed was time, and space. I know now that some problems cannot be solved with hope.”

Alpha jerked in surprise as the Princess placed a forehoof atop her own. “But I have learned more than that over the last thousand years,” she continued. “I know that the ponies of Equestria would have understood her plight if she had only given it voice. She blamed them, and me as well, for the ill will that she bore in hear heart, but it was not our doing; it was her own. If she had not allowed her fear to rule her, she would have known that we cared about her. She may have been different from the rest of us in some ways, but deep down we are all the same.

“I offer you now the advice that I wish I could have given her,” she said finally. “Alpha, I know it can be hard to open up to another, but the only pony keeping you silent is you. Equestria has seen more scandalous ponies over the years than a mare who looks like a stallion. I know that if you give them a chance, they will come to understand you as well.”

Alpha sighed heavily. "Thank you, Princess," she said. "I'll try."

"While there is much more to discuss," the Headmistress declared from her place at the Princess's side, "our Princess and I have already agreed that there is no use in trying to conclude this matter tonight."

“Indeed,” the Princess said with a nod. “Why don't you return to your chambers, Mistress Sharp? I can take things from here.”

"Thank you, Princess." The Headmistress stood and trodded toward the door. "Will you be alright tonight, Fairy Lights, or do you need someone to talk to?"

The Princess raised a hoof. "Leave her with me for now, please."

With a grunt the Headmistress twisted the doorknob with her violet magic and pushed. “We will discuss your punishment tomorrow, Alpha,” she said pointedly. Alpha nodded with a resigned half-frown.

“Sleep well, Mistress Sharp,” said the Princess as the door closed behind the Headmistress, but her eyes were on the mare in the blue stallion's body. “Fairy Lights, do you think you're ready to discuss this matter tonight?”

“Do we have to do it like this?” Fae asked quietly.

"Not if you aren't ready," she replied kindly. “We could wait until the morning if you prefer, but there are—”

“Wait,” Alpha exclaimed. “This can't wait until morning.”

“But...”

“I've already told you why I did this,” she clarified. “The rest of that can wait, but this can't.” She stood and closed the distance between herself and Fae. “I want to say that I'm sorry, and I want you to listen to me this time.”

Fae stared up and down the form of her own body, in her own dress, and flinched. “I, um...”

“I tricked you, Fae, and I took advantage of our friendship. If I could take it back, I would.”

“Mhm...” Her brown eyes peered down at her borrowed body through Alpha's glasses and she began to shiver.

“Nothing is more important to me than those I care about. You know that...” Fae lay flat on her bench, all four legs tucked neatly beside her and her eyes locked on the marble tile below. “You know that, don't you, Fae?” she said slowly. Her friend nodded, but still wouldn't meet her gaze. “Fae?”

Fae looked up for a brief portion of a second. Her cheeks were flushed with shame. “Yes, Alpha,” she said quietly.

“Then what's wrong, Fae?”

A hoof on her shoulder made her look up into the steely magenta eyes of the Princess. “Alpha, take off her dress.”

Alpha jerked and spun to face the Princess. “N-now? In front of...”

“Fairy Lights has seen herself undress in the mirror before," she reasoned.

“Yeah, but...” Her hoof slid upward to the strap and hesitated. “But you're the Princess!” She blushed and looked at her hooves. "I can't undress in front of the Princess. It's disrespectful."

Celestia nodded her head to hide a sly smile. “My little pony, I have been alive for over a thousand years. I've seen plenty of ponies disrobe and plenty more in more compromising situations than this.” A yellow glow from her horn brightened the room. “Up on two hooves, Alpha,” she ordered.

Alpha frowned and slowly lifted herself onto her back legs.

"Several hundred years ago, before Equestrian culture became what it is today..." Her zipper chased a nervous tingle down along her spine. "...it was considered more disrespectful to ask a stranger to undress than for one to do so unasked. In those days, pulling your dress up over your eyes amongst company..." The shoulder strap snaked around her foreleg and slipped down, allowing the chest piece to fall and bare her chest. “...was a show of trust. Life was more dangerous back then; one could easily expect a dagger between their ribs in such a vulnerable position. Forehooves up, please.” Unable to deny the request of her Princess, Alpha raised her forehooves to the ceiling and closed her eyes as the dress was pulled upward and away from her frame. “For modern ponies to be ashamed to undress in front of me would be quite a contrast to what I consider good manners." Alpha's legs trembled in shame. “Thank you, Alpha.”

She opened her eyes again to see Fae glaring jealously at the space between her legs and the two mounds hidden there. Instantly her hooves darted down to cover them. “I'm sorry, Fae,” she said again. She fell onto all four and sidestepped closer to the Princess. “I mean it. I'm sorry!”

Fae turned her nose up. “'Sorry' does not put the cookies back in the jar!” she spat.

“Fairy Lights.”

Fae's eyes widened and she spun away from Alpha. “Yes, Princess!”

The Princess stood casually with the dress lifted high into the air and spinning slowly in the golden grip of her magic. “This is a fine garment,” she said appreciatively. “Where did you get it?”

It took her a moment to find her voice. “O-Oh. I found it in... in a shop on the outskirts of the Marigold District.”

“Do you know who designed it?”

“N-no.”

“Then I will be sure to pay the Marigold District a visit soon,” she smiled. “I don't have many reasons to wear something so flirty, but even a Princess should have a few nice dresses for special occasions.”

Fae giggled nervously before she could stop it with a hoof to her lips. “You would wear something like this?” she asked, the disbelief clear in her voice.

The Princess didn't even blush. “Perhaps for very special occasions,” she said wistfully. “I am expecting some friends soon. What do you think, Alpha?” The gown folded itself against her chest. The strap didn't reach her shoulder and the heart-shaped neckline would have split if she'd tried to stretch it over the expanse of her chest. “Do you think I could pull off such a style?”

She felt a crooked smile crawl across her muzzle at the thought of the supreme ruler and matriarch of all of the land in a sexy ensemble, and was unable to stop it. “Maybe in a nice dark green...” She hid her chuckle in a cough. Fae was less successful.

The Princess nodded. “Perhaps,” she said thoughtfully as she levitated the dress toward Fae. “Up on two...”

Fae stood upright without hesitation. Alpha wordlessly smiled at the Princess; while the red taffeta covered Fae's head Celestia gave her a quick wink. “Does that feel better, Fairy Lights?” the Princess asked as she lifted the shoulder strap into place and pulled the zipper as far as it would budge around her stallion's frame.

Fae looked down at her chest. “Much better,” she sighed, “though these lungs will be happy to be rid of the dress soon. Thank you, Princess.” She shifted her forehooves nervously. “And, um... Thank you too, Alpha, for caring about my feelings after all. It doesn't change what happened, but...” She bit her lip and glanced at Alpha. "But it's a start."

Alpha beamed at her with all of the love in the world.

Celestia looked from one mare to the other. “I think we could all use some time to cool off,” she sighed. “I'm willing to let the matter lie until tomorrow morning, but I expect to see you bright and early, Alpha,” she said sternly. “Fairy Lights, I will speak to your professor personally to make sure you are excused from taking your History of Creation test.” A hint of the tension in Fae's shoulders was lifted.

“Now, come with me,” the Princess said as she walked around the desk. “If the two of you don't mind, I would prefer to have you sleep in the guests' chambers I have had prepared for you. While Alpha's marks show an aptitude for the brewing of potions, I want you both close at hoof so my staff and I can check on you periodically in case of magical feedback or unforeseen side effects.”

Fae whined through her nose. “We can't sleep in our own rooms?”

The Princess's lips drew together just a hair, but that was enough for the two to know that she was displeased. “I would prefer for you two to stay here, but if you must...”

“No no, it's fine.” Fae smiled nervously and lined up behind the Princess with Alpha at her side. “It's only for one night.”

"I wouldn't want anypony else to see Fae in this state," Alpha muttered. "I've done enough damage already."

Fae gave her a pained but grateful smile.

Princess Celestia nodded and turned back to the door. “You won't be disappointed,” she assured them as she led them out into the empty hallways. “These rooms were built for scholars and dignitaries during a time of far-reaching political cooperation and colonization efforts. Within them you will find everything you may need in the night, from extra pillows and blankets in the linen cabinets to drinks and snacks in the cupboards to a full-sized washroom.”

Finally they reached the opposite corner of the floor. “Here are your chambers.” She opened their doors for them with her horn and stood aside to allow them to pass. “As I said, my staff and I will be back check on you every few hours in case you need anything. If your beds are not to your liking, the linen cabinets are in the corner beside the door; the pantry is in the opposite corner, between the sofas. The door next to the bed leads to the washroom.”

Alpha peered through the doorway and whistled softly at the expanse of golden carpet that crawled across the floor; the flickering light of no fewer than six candelabras and a small glass and brass chandelier made the creamy wood paneling of the walls and ceiling look almost alive.

Just as she was about to cross the threshold she was stopped by a faint sound from deep in Fae's throat. She was sitting in her own doorway, staring at Alpha and chewing her lip. “Do we have to...”

“What's wrong, Fairy Lights?” asked the Princess.

Her forehooves kneaded the tile. “N-nothing.” She shifted awkwardly and glanced up at the Princess without lifting her head. “Good night, Princess.” With that she rushed into the room and closed the door firmly enough to shake the frame.

The two mares that remained shared a glance. “Give her time,” Celestia replied to Alpha's unasked question. “If you prove to her that you are a mare worth forgiving—” Alpha's heart skipped a beat. "—then she will forgive you someday. In the meantime, Alpha, is there anything more I can do for you?”

Alpha took the first few steps into her temporary quarters and stared from one side to the other. “Do you know any time travel spells?” She chuckled under her breath. “No, Princess, you've done enough for me as it is. I've made this bed, and it's time to lie in it.”

“Alpha, I can't tell you that everything will be alright, but I can tell you that making it so is up to you.” The Princess's eyes twinkled above a half-formed smile. “While your intentions don't make your actions right, I know you didn't mean any harm; perhaps Fairy Lights and Mistress Sharp will understand in the morning. While Fairy Lights does deserve some recompense for what you've done tonight, I will recommend that the headmistress treat this matter with care for the both of you, not a simple punishment.”

Alpha shrugged. “I don't care what Mistress Sharp does,” she said bluntly. “She can expel me if she wants to, or fine me or throw me in prison to rot. It won't do a thing to help Fae. All that matters to me now is that she is alright in the end.”

Celestia's little grin broke open wide. “With your help, she will be.” She rested her haunches on the carpet and opened her hooves to Alpha, who collapsed into them gratefully. “Thank you, Alpha.”

Alpha rested her cheek against the broad expanse of her Princess's chest. “Thank you, Princess, for understanding.”

Celestia broke the hug and pulled away slowly. “I meant what I said in the headmistress's office, Alpha,” she reminded her. “I know it will be difficult, but I want you to talk to somepony about your feelings. You must release some of the poison in your heart before it turns you into somepony you are not.”

Alpha nodded. “I feel like I already have.”

“Alright, Alpha,” the Princess said with heavy lids and a kind smile. “I'll be back to check on you both in a few hours. You've each been through a lot tonight, but I'm sure you both will be stronger for it in time. Get some rest, my little pony; tomorrow will be a busy day. ”

Finally alone once more, Alpha walked slowly to her temporary bed. She crawled atop the comforter without bothering to slip beneath them and rested the back of her head upon two satin-encased pillows. Her eyes crawled over the grain of the wood above her head as she doused one candle after another until only one was left. By its flickering light she looked down at herself. She studied one last time the curves and lines of the female form: the beauty of her hips, the smooth field of her belly. Alpha sighed to herself as she rolled onto her side and burrowed into the pillows. Goodbye, marehood...

She could tell that sleep would be a long time coming.

Eight

“Alpha!” a familiar voice hissed. “Are you awake?”

She rolled onto her side and looked into the dim light that filled her doorway, and the stallion's silhouette within it. “Yeah, I'm awake,” Alpha said uncertainly. “What do you need, Fae?”

Fae took two steps into the room and hesitated with her pale amber light on the doorknob. “I don't want to be alone tonight,” she mumbled, barely loudly enough for Alpha to hear.

Alpha ducked her head. “To be honest, I don't want to be either.” She lit a pair of candles, casting just enough light for Fae to find her way, and slid toward the edge of the bed. “Come on in.” Fae darted into the room before she had even finished her sentence and closed the door behind her with a soft click. “Here; you can have the bed. I'll sleep on the sofa.”

“No, you take the bed,” Fae said gruffly as she stuck her head into the linen cabinet. “I don't want to wake up in my own body with a sore back.”

Alpha looked down at the expanse of the mattress, which must have been large enough for the Princess and two more. “We could share the—”

“I am quite happy on the sofa!” Fae barked over her attempt at a compromise. She crossed the carpet, tossed two pillows and a sheet onto a loveseat not far from the bed, and flopped heavily onto it with a sigh.

Alpha watched her with the barest hint of anger burning in her throat. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, perhaps more sharply than intended.

“No,” Fae growled, “I want to sleep.” Alpha's head fell. After a moment Fae shook her head. “I'm sorry, Alpha,” she muttered. “Did you?”

“It can wait,” she sighed. She shifted onto her back. “Except...”

“What is it?”

Alpha twisted her forehooves and cleared her throat. “Fae, what happened tonight got me thinking about a lot of things... A lot of it was about me, whether I'm crazy or strange or mare or stallion, but I also... I also started thinking about us.”

Fae's wide eyes shone in the dim candlelight. “Us,” she said carefully.

“Yeah.” She looked down at the coverlet. “We're... We're just friends, right? No matter what anypony else says?”

“Right!” Fae agreed, her own eyes on her hooves.

“But you tease me all the time,” she pressed. “You're always flirting and touching me.”

“Oh, Alpha, that's just my nature,” she apologized. “If you feel that I led you on...”

Alpha shook her head. “I don't, but... But sometimes you do things that go a bit too far. That's part of why this has been bothering me so much for the last few years. Don't get me wrong, Fae,” she said hastily, “I love hanging out with you, but when you do or say something like you did last night...”

“I shouldn't have touched you,” she admitted. “I felt terrible about it, and now that I understand why it hurt you—”

“But Fae, what would you have done if I had let you open my legs?” she asked.

Fae ducked her head. “I knew you wouldn't.”

“But if I had?”

“I don't know,” she said with a shrug. “I know you're gay, Alpha. You don't have to hide it. I've known for years. That's why I'm so comfortable talking to you about things like boy trouble and fashion and...”

“Filly things?”

“Exactly!”

“I'm not gay, Fae.” Alpha smiled sheepishly. “After all, it wouldn't be fair for me to be picky about what a pony looks like from behind when I am the way I am, would it?” she chuckled. “I can find something to appreciate in almost anypony, male or female or anything.”

“But you and I have been best friends for years and you've never, ever flirted with me,” she argued, “even though I've been teasing you since the day we met! Why, any other stallion would have been happy to have a mare's hooves pry their hindlegs ap...” Her eyes widened. “Oh my stars. What have I been doing to you?”

Alpha's ears wilted. “It's not because of you, Fae. It's because I don't want... that,” she muttered with a glance at Fae's hindquarters, “to ruin the experience.”

“Ruin the experience?” She looked down at her borrowed form. “There's nothing wrong with it, is there?”

“It's wrong because it's there!” she barked, making Fae jerk backward. “All my life it's just been dangling there, getting in the way and making a mess of my bedsheets and—” She shuddered. “It's so... ugly. It's thanks to that thing that I'm not allowed to wear dresses, or hit the showers with the other girls. It's thanks to it that I'm stuck being a stallion.”

“So anypony else is allowed to have one, but you can't because...?”

“Because that's not what's supposed to be there,” she nodded. “I truly feel that I was supposed to be born a filly but something got messed up along the way.”

“Alpha, can I be frank with you?” Fae asked. Though a sudden nervousness rushed down her spine, Alpha nodded impatiently. “Being a mare isn't all fun and games. Some days during my cycle I want nothing more than to be rid of my marehood. I don't understand why you would want to suffer through that.”

“What's a little pain here and there?” she muttered.

“'A little pain'?” Fae shook her head.

“It would be worth it if it meant I could be the mare I want to be,” she continued. “And... and I could have...”

“Sex?” she asked. “But if you want to be with a stallion, you could just...” She trailed off and wilted under the heat of Alpha's stare.

“No, Fae, not sex,” Alpha spat. “Foals.”

"But why can't you have—" Fae cocked her head at Alpha with an expression of confusion, but it slowly coalesced into shock. “You want to be a mother?” she said finally.

“Yes!” She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her teeth. “Yes, that's what I want!" she exclaimed. "I want to be a mother and a wife someday, and have a family who loves me and who I love. But even if I can't be a mother, then... then at the very least I might be able to pretend, someday, because I want those I love to see me as the mare I am on the inside.”

“O—” Fae cleared her throat. “Oh.”

“But instead you seem to see me as just another stallion to play with and throw away.”

“No!” Fae cried. “I would never throw you away, Alpha! You mean the world to me!”

“A-and not just any stallion, but a broken one,” she continued. “Mad or strange, you said.”

“It won't change our friendship,” she promised. “If you're mad, you'll get better! If you're strange, I-I'll get used to it. I meant it; you're still my Alpha! So what does it matter?”

“It matters to me because even I don't know anymore.” Alpha's voice shook with uncertainty and her vision blurred once more. “I've known I was different for a long time, but sometimes I catch myself thinking thoughts that no sane pony could ever think. Thoughts of... correcting the problem through black magic, or... or self-mutilation. Thoughts of taking what I want by force. I don't know if I could have stopped myself tonight even if you hadn't said you'd be okay with it,” she admitted. “You're my best friend and I love you, but sometimes I wonder if that's enough anymore. I don't know, sometimes, what's more important: my dreams or the lives of others.”

Alpha watched Fae's silhouette watch her. Fae's mouth hadn't stopped moving, but no sound emerged. “I'm sorry,” Alpha sighed. “I didn't mean to scare you.”

“I know you wouldn't have done such a thing, Alpha.” Fae climbed off of the sofa and took a few steps closer. “Even if it were your only chance, you wouldn't have done anything of the sort. You might have been in pain, Alpha, but I know you would never intentionally inflict that pain on anypony else.”

The two smiled at each other wordlessly. Alpha swallowed down the last of her tears and cleared her throat. “Thanks, Fae,” she croaked.

“Alpha, when when I said...” Another step forward and she hesitated, one forehoof raised and her tail flicking in agitation.

Alpha's heart fell. “When you said what?” she asked softly.

Fae twisted sharply to her right and cantered toward the door to the washroom, lighting a few candles in bursts along the way. “Never mind, Alpha,” she exclaimed. “I am going to freshen up.”

“Fae...”

“I said never mind!”

The door slammed loud, leaving Alpha alone with her thoughts in a haze of uncertainty. “What did you say?!” she called, but there was no answer from Fae. She fell back onto the mattress and glared at the door. She said I was either strange or mad, but if she already told me that much, then what's changed? Has she decided?

Her hooves crawled up to her muzzle and pressed upward into her cheeks. She thinks I'm mad, she decided. But what does that really mean? Does it mean I'm dangerous? Does it mean I can no longer be trusted on campus?

“Alpha?”

Am I truly mad, or merely misunderstood?

“Alpha!”

She twisted onto her haunches and immediately shot out of bed to press her ear to the restroom door. “What's wrong, Fae?”

“I-I can't make it work,” she said hesitantly. “It's... stuck.”

“What?”

"I can't— Alpha, your... It's not working!"

Alpha blushed softly. “Oh.” She could hear the faint sounds of Fae straining on the other side of the door; the thought of watching Fae struggle would have made her laugh in any other circumstances. “Um... Have you tried relaxing?”

“I know how to use the potty, mother!” she growled.

Alpha rested her forehead on the door and took a deep breath. “Alright, Fae. Hold on.” The handle clicked beneath her hoof and the door swung open.

The restroom was just as Alpha had expected it to be. The walls and floor were tiled in a marble of a creamy brown streaked through with dark swirls and swatches that almost looked like a natural growth, like ivy climbing up the walls. The room was well-lit by three glass-and-brass candelabras despite the late hour. A wide mirror took up a large portion of the wall to the left of the door; at its base stood a pair of brass-and-marble hoof sinks, each stocked with fresh toothbrushes, scissors, and various toiletries. A brass bathtub large enough for four ponies and almost deep enough to get lost in was set into the floor, its lip flush with the surrounding tile. Even the toilets were of solid brass from the bowl recessed into the floor and the wall to the end of the trough.

Fae stood over the trough with her backside a safe distance from the bowl, just as she'd learned as a filly. Her dress was pulled forward, her tail held high out of instinct, and her eyes damp with shame. “Alpha!” Fae jumped to the side and spun toward her, forehooves prancing anxiously like a cat kneading flesh. “Get out!” she whined.

“Hey,” she said calmly, and she stretched out a placating hoof. “It's okay, Fae. I'm going to help you, okay?”

She leaned back on her hooves. “You don't have to be in here to do it...”

Alpha took a slow step forward. “Come on, Fae. It's just like the Princess said. I've seen it thousands of times before; tens of thousands, even. Seeing it again won't change anything between you and me.” Fae lowered her muzzle but her eyes never left Alpha's. “Besides, it's not the first time you've been in the restroom with... other girls, is it?”

She swallowed and tried to steady her shaking legs. “That's different.”

The words squeezed her heart in a vice and swatted her gaze down to her hooves. "Do you need me to leave?" Alpha said glumly. "It's your decision."

Fae recoiled when she saw the despair take its hold in her once more. "Please don't be mad, Alpha," she said hurriedly. "It's not that I think you're wrong about the way you feel. It's just... strange! You understand, don't you? All my life you've been one of the boys, and now you're in here with me..."

"I was never one of them," she sighed. "I was never one of you girls, either. I just want the chance to belong somewhere, Fae. All my life, I've only ever wanted to belong."

Suddenly Fae began to laugh. Alpha's ears fell back and her lips crumpled into a grimace, but she froze when Fae hopped over the trough and rubbed her cheek with her own. "Oh, Alpha," she giggled as she pulled back and placed her forehooves upon Alpha's shoulders, "you're so right. You never were one of the stallions, were you? You've always been a girlfriend, just like Brie or Crescent or any other mare. It's been right in front of me this entire time!"

Alpha's jaw dropped, and with it fell a great and heavy weight from her shoulders. She snatched at her old body and pulled Fae into a hug, laughing to the point of sobbing. "You mean that?"

"I can't say my view of you has changed all of a sudden," Fae said, "but it is changing. After all, I've had to reevaluate a lot about you and me tonight." She pulled back and looked Alpha in the eyes. "I'm still very disturbed by what you did tonight, but I understand why you did it. You're trying so hard now to make up for what you did, and I want to follow the Princess's lead and help you get better. If that means accepting that you're going to be a mare from now on, then—"

Her words became a grunt as Alpha squeezed her tightly with every ounce of strength in Fae's body. "Thank you," she sobbed. "I'm sorry, Fae. Thank you."

"Too tight!" she gasped. "I still have to pee!"

"Sorry!" Alpha let her go and jumped back a pace. "Do you think you'll be okay? Should I leave?"

Fae hesitated, looking from the toilet to the mare before her. "Why don't you... stand by the door, just in case?"

Alpha trotted dutifully away and stared at the handle, sharing a smile with it that she hadn't been sure she'd ever share again.

"You know, this thing isn't too bad once you get used to it," Fae said from behind her. "If you ask me, it actually seems rather convenient."

Alpha snorted. "Want to trade?"

"Ask me again when my cycle starts," Fae snickered. "Maybe I'll let you borrow my body again then, just to see how you like what I have to deal with on a monthly basis. I'd happily take yours for a few days, as long as you don't mind me dolling you up."

"Mind?" Alpha exclaimed. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Suddenly Fae's words and the Princess's before her began to click together in her mind. It's not my body's fault I can't be who I am after all, she decided; it's that of the society in which we live. I am a stallion, so I must be a stallion... But why can't a stallion be a mare? she wondered. Does it really matter if somepony gives me a funny look? Does it really matter if I have to ask before I use the fillies' room? She had to resist the urge to sneak a glance behind her. Does it really matter if a mare has a penis, at least for a little while? Fae truly doesn't seem to mind anymore and she's no less a mare for the body I put her in. Maybe...

Maybe it's not so bad.

"So, why Longshot?" Fae asked out of the blue.

Alpha jumped. "What do you mean?" she said defensively.

"Well, you know what they say about him..."

"That he's the best at everything he does?" Alpha smiled. "That he's an athletic superstar, and great with his horn too?"

Fae snickered as she carried on with her business. "I meant his attitude."

"What attitude?" she scoffed. "He was so sweet to me! A gentlecolt, really."

"Yes, I'm sure he would be a gentlecolt until he'd gotten what he wanted."

Alpha snorted disparagingly. "Not all stallions are like that, you know. I'm sure he would have been wonderful."

Fae giggled as she walked up beside him. "I suppose I've no room to talk," she admitted. "My first crush was an awful choice as well. First he turned out to be gay, and then I realized he was a she the entire time." She gave her a coy nuzzle as she left to wash her hooves. Alpha just stared, speechless, until Fae returned and bumped a shoulder against hers. "Oh, come on, Alpha. It wasn't that big a surprise, was it?"

"B-b-but I tho—"

"I said my first crush," Fae reminded her. "We're the best of friends, Alpha, and we've been best friends for a long time. Anything more... Well, that is for time to tell. Let's enjoy what we have, alright?"

Alpha gave her a quick nuzzle as her heart rate returned to something like normal. "That sounds good," she smiled as she gripped the door in her aura and held it open for Fae.

“What a pair we make,” Fae chuckled as Alpha walked her back to her sofa. “You're trapped in the wrong body, and I am twenty-one years old and I still have to ask for help when I need to pee.”

“Don't think of it like that!” Alpha nuzzled her cheek reassuringly. “It's not your fault you're in a body you don't quite understand.”

"I know, Alpha," she assured him. "It was just a bad joke." Alpha's forehoof trailed along Fae's coat as she slipped away toward the sofa, but she hesitated. "Speaking of bad jokes," she said slowly, "I have a funny feeling that this sofa is less comfortable than it looks."

Alpha shrugged. "Do you want the bed after all?"

"Yes, I think I do." Fae turned and put her forehoof upon Alpha's. "And I would like to wake up in the bed as well. I suppose we will have to share it after all, won't we?"

Alpha flashed Fae's perfect teeth as she led her away from the sofa. "Thank you, Fae."

Fae slipped beneath the coverlet on one side of the bed, but the instant Alpha arranged herself comfortably on the other side, Fae rolled over and snared her in her hooves. Alpha squeaked in surprise. "Thank you, Alpha.” She pressed close, curled around Alpha's smaller form. “You've been a real gentleco–” Her throat closed around the tail end of the word. A tension crept into the muscles against Alpha's back.

“It's okay,” she assured Fae. “I don't expect—”

“Lady,” Fae said firmly. “You have been so good to me since the day we met. Part of me is still so very angry with you, but if I had been forced to live my life as a stallion, I suppose I might have driven myself a little crazy too."

"I don't want to make excuses for what I did."

"There are excuses, and then there are reasons," Fae said firmly. "As long as you promise to never, ever hurt another mare the way you hurt me tonight, I suppose we can keep our eyes on the future, not your past."

Alpha nodded. "It will never happen again."

Fae squeezed her gently around the ribs and pulled her closer. "Good girl," she said with a smile.

Alpha grinned in the dark. "Thanks, Fae."

"Goodnight, Alpha," she replied with a tired smile. "I'll see you in the morning."

She couldn't help but turn and look over her prone form one last time as it lay curled around her. From the inside it had always looked in need of improvement—a capped tooth here, some teats there, maybe a little something to fix the eyes—but as she watched her body's breathing slow into that gentle rhythm of the slumbering, Alpha felt a surge of pride flow through her tired heart.

Maybe it's not what I would have wanted, she thought to herself, but it's still me. It's still the same mare I want to be except for little details here and there, and those will change with time. She pushed back against her friend's barrel and sighed happily. Because it's not who I look like that's important; it's who I am on the inside.

And, day by day, I am becoming the mare I want to be.

Together the two mares drifted away.

Nine

Delta

Elven

Cornflower

Ada

Anna

“Is that Prench?”

Alpha turned to find Fae peeking over her shoulder. “It comes from Haybrew, actually,” she smiled self-consciously. “It, um... It means 'grace',” she said with a duck of her head.

“Grace?” Fae smirked. “Maybe you should find something more fitting.” Alpha took the jab with a soft chuckle and her quill marked a line through that name as well. “Where did you come up with a name like that?” she asked. “Have you studied Haybrew culture?”

“No, but I've looked into a lot of names that sound similar enough to my own.”

Fae made an interested noise deep in her throat. “Why just those?”

“Well, I don't want to cause too much confusion when I take a new one. Besides...” Her quill dipped into the inkwell, then paused in its ascent to hover a few inches above the surface; she watched as the loose ink traveled slowly down its length to bead at the point. “What will my mom and dad think if I throw away the name they gave me?” The bead of ink fell, splashing against the rim of the inkwell to scatter a few minute droplets onto the surface of the desk.

“You're a gr– adult,” she countered. “You don't have to worry about what your parents will think.”

“I'm not worried that I'll anger them,” Alpha explained. “I'm sure they'll understand and try to support my decision in their own ways.” She didn't see Fae's sudden smile. “But they gave me that name because they felt it was right; because they wanted me to be able to write down my name and say, 'this is who I am'. I can't just tell them that they feathered up and pick my own, so...”

Fae nodded and peered over the list. “So you'll compromise.”

“Exactly!”

“Then...” She reached over Alpha to poke a certain name with a hoof. “Why 'Cornflower'?”

Alpha grinned sheepishly. “Because I'm blue and they're pretty.” Fae chuckled and wrapped her pale forehooves around Alpha's neck. “I don't know. I've written lists like this so many times, but for the most part I seem to write the same few names, in the same order... I just can't seem to find the right one for me.”

“You don't have to find one today.”

“I truly feel that I do.” The quill tapped twice against the rim of the inkwell and floated to stand poised against the parchment once more. “Today is the day Alpha passes the baton to the mare he always wanted to be.”

“But Alpha, this isn't a decision to be taken lightly.” Fae's golden light held the quill fast. “What if you make a choice only to realize after you change all of your official paperwork that it was the wrong decision?”

“I know...”

“You shouldn't make a rash decision at the spur of the moment.”

“I'm not!” Alpha tugged at the quill until Fae released it, but once freed it paused once more. “You know what?” she said softly. “Maybe I should.”

“What?” Fae blinked at her in consternation. “Alpha, don't be silly.”

“You know me,” she smiled. “All of my best work is spontaneous.”

“This isn't a short story, Alpha. This is your life!”

“That's right, and it's time I make some changes!” Her quill slapped against her notepad. “I spent so long thinking about what it would be like to live as a mare that I ended up hating the life I had out of spite. I wanted to ask you to make that exchange for weeks but all I managed to do was convince myself that you'd stop being my friend if I told you about myself, so then I thought some more until I came up with a 'fool-proof' plan you witnessed last night.” The notepad fell to the surface of the desk. “I need to stop thinking and planning and start living.”

Fae watched her with her ears laid back and a twisted expression on her muzzle. “Perhaps you're right,” she said meekly. Her legs slid from Alpha's neck down along her barrel to hold her just beneath her forearms. She rested her chin in the crook of Alpha's right shoulder. “It's your life, Alpha. Do what you think is best.”

Alpha lifted the quill once more and ran it along the list of names. “Stop thinking and react,” she muttered to herself.

'Delta'. Too firm. Too... sharp. 'Anna'? She's right. On my bad days I'm as graceful as a boulder falling down a mountainside.

“Stop thinking... React...”

'Cornflower'...Such a pretty flower, but even if I do make myself look that pretty, 'blue' is not who I am. It does roll off the tongue, though...

“Be spontaneous...”

Her eyes lit up with the sudden light of inspiration. Alpha flipped to the next page; upon it the quill traced three simple letters.

Fae watched her work with a blank expression that didn't change as the two studied the name. “Ada,” she said softly, tasting the word. “It's not a bad name.”

“It comes from the old Germaneighic 'adel', meaning 'nobility',” she explained.

“Well, aren't you pretentious,” Fae snickered. “Why Ada, though? You've already crossed it out. What made you change your mind?”

“Oh, I don't know,” Alpha beamed. “The inspiration just came to me...” She waggled her eyebrows. “'Ada' the blue!”

An unladylike snort ripped through the air. Fae threw a hoof to her forehead and broke into gales of laughter. “Really?” she exclaimed. “You're going to base your new identity on a bad pun?”

“Hey, it fits,” she giggled. “You know how much I love a good plot twist.”

“Yes, but still...” A faraway look had come over Alpha's eyes. “What is it?”

She shook her head and tried to hide a satisfied smile. “I really need to work on those transformation spells,” she muttered.

Fae's eyes widened. “Plot twist? Really? You dog!” she laughed, smacking her in front of the ear with a tendril of magic. “Get your mind out of the gutter. We have to speak to the Princess soon!”

'Ada'... She wrote the name again slowly, the tip of her quill gliding around each loop and along each peak. “And my parents, and my roommate...”

“I think you owe Brie an apology,” Fae added, “not to mention that poor stallion.”

Alpha sighed. “It's going to be a long day.” It was a good name, but it wasn't perfect. Something looked off. What if I...

“Don't worry, Alpha.” Fae's grip around her neck tightened for a brief and warm second. “I will be with you every step of the way. This is more important than a test.”

Her cheeks flushed as the warmth of gratitude washed over her. She covered her friends' forehooves in her own, rested the quill and the notepad on the desk and sighed in contentment. “Thank you, Fae I couldn't have asked for a better friend.”

Fae just smiled and climbed off of her. “Now, there's no point in putting it off, is there?” she asked. “Are you ready, Alpha?”

She stretched her forelimbs and arched her back to work loose a few knots before rising to her hooves and nodding slowly. “Please...” She lifted the pad into the air and beamed at her new signature; finally, after so many years, it was just perfect. “Call me Adda.”