A story about the really hard part of Rarity's life.
Rarity has been struggeling with extreme Mysophobia for a while now. Choirs like decontaminating her body and mopping the entire boutique whenever she feels the need to do it, are now normal tasks for her during her everyday life.
This story may be hard to understand this for people without Mysophobia, but I would appreciate your thoughts anyway.
It was late in the afternoon when Rarity came home from her visit to Fluttershy. As soon as she came in, she put of her boots and immediately trotted upstairs to the bathroom. The unicorn put on the shower and stood under it right away, not caring about the cold temperature of the water.
As soon as the water was warm, she grabbed a bottle of decontaminating soap with her mouth once she was wet all over and poured it over her entire white coated body. Rarity made sure she waited long enough for the germs to vanish by the soap and stood under the shower again.
It had been going like this for months now, her fear for germs suddenly got far worse than it used to be. She hid it for her friends and family, even though the unicorn kept getting the questions why she was acting so weird lately, but always tried to change the subject. The unicorn also feared going to a therapist, she just wanted nopony to know.
Everytime Rarity came home -no matter where she had been- she washed her entire body with decontaminating soap and mopped the floor, while standing somewhere where the white coated pony was sure not to touch the spots where she had walked before taking a shower.
It was so hard for her to live this way.....
Once Rarity was absolutely sure she was clean all over, she turned of the shower and walked out, while trying to avoid certain 'dirty' spots.
She sighed and dryed herself, each towel for a specific body part.
Rarity didn't even take the effort to style her mane and tail and went straight to mopping the entire floor of the Carousal Boutique with her magic, standing on the clean parts of the floor.
After a long period of extreme mopping she came to the last infected part, the boots that stood next to the door. The boots were used whenever she left the house to take away a bit of stress, even the thought of having more dirtier hooves always made her shiver.
Rarity opened the door with her magic and then lifted the boots up and put them gently next to the door outside.
Once they were outside she closed the door with her horn and mopped the floor for a real long time, until it felt clean enough for her, then flushed the mop water through the toilet and put back everything where it belonged.
Rarity was thankful for being a unicorn, without her horn, she would have to wash herself even more.
She layed on her sofa, hoping that no pony would visit her for the rest of the day.
All visits from the Cutie Mark Crusaders, her friends and customers were really hard for her, she always had to clean absolutely everything that they had touched and also herself. Her work also got harder because of the amount of time cleaning made it hard to come up with good ideas for dresses and to make them. Not much money was coming in as result.
Rarity just lay there thinking on her sofa, trying not to think about nice things instead of her problems, but her problems took over her mind.
Should she tell her friends or family? No why would she? They don't care.....But maybe they can help. No, ofcourse they can't...
The mare was in deep thought when there were a few knocks on the door. She felt like her head could explode by a huge amount of anger and sadness, but being the kind pony she is, the unicorn responded.
She rose up to sit on the sofa and told the pony outside that the door was open with a raised voice.
The pony turned out to be one of her little sister, Sweetie Belle.
"Hi Rarity." she said to the the unicorn with a fake smile that was sitting on the sofa.
"Hi, darling." she added with her fake enthousiastic voice, while she was cursing the most awful things in her head. She didn't blaime Sweetie for it at all, but darnit... "Make yourself comfortable. Would you like some tea?"
Sweetie Belle looked at her with a puzzeling expression, like she knew that Rarity was faking it all. It made Rarity a bit nervous.
"Uhmm...Yeah, sure."
When the water was boiling, Rarity thought about how she had to clean everything AGAIN. It made her even more sad.
"So, Sweetie Belle, how are you?" Rarity asked from the kitchen, breaking the awkward silence between her and the little unicorn that was sitting on the sofa.
"Well.." Sweetie began after a few seconds. "Not so great, I had a bad day at school, but don't worry, it's nothing...."
Rarity peeked her head out of the kitchen and gaized towards her little sister on the sofa.
"Oh.." she responded, not really trying to hide her sadness this time. "What happened?"
Sweetie sighed and hung her head down.
"Well, nothing special....I just got bullied for being a blank flank again, along with Scootaloo and Apple Bloom."
"Do you want me to talk to your teacher about it?" Rarity asked.
"No, thanks sis, I just want to be treated like everpony else."
The mare frowned.
"I understand, but just got to ignore those ponies. After a while, just it won't be funny for them anymore. Same goes for your friends." Rarity suggested, then poured the hot water into the cups, still thinking about the future cleaning.
"I know..." Sweetie Belle added. "And how are you, Rarity?" The little filly asked as Rarity walked in, levitating a plate with two cups of tea on it. She acted just normally, the cleaning and avoiding would come later....
She put down the plate on the table in front the sofa and sat down uncomfortably next to Sweetie Belle.
"I am fine, thank you." The mare responded, trying to sound as normal as possible.
Sweetie Belle gave her that puzzled look again, making her big sister nervous once again.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." Rarity immediately responded with her fake cheerful voice. "Ofcourse, why wouldn't I be darling?"
The little filly's look got even more puzzled looking, like she was solving a mystery. Rarity saw that and started moving her right hindleg up and down out of nervousness, causing the look of Sweetie Belle to get even worse.
"Okay, what's going on?" She finally asked, frowning at her nervous big sister.
Rarity's eyes widened, sweat dropping from her forehead, but stopped move her leg.
"What...what are you talking about silly?"
"Your fake cheerful and also nervous behavior."
Rarity sighed and looked away.
"It's a....long story."
"I don't care." She cheerfully responded. "You can tell me anything Rarity."
The mare looked at her little sister again.
"It uh... may sound really strange to you."
"Ah, I'm sure it's not that strange. Shoot."
Will she do it? Sweetie Belle would just think she crazy. Oh well, she wouldn't know if she didn't tell anything, it was too late now anyway.
Rarity looked back at the ground, too scared to look the little unicorn in her eyes.
"Since a few months ago my fear for germs got much worse than it first was. I have no idea what might have caused it actually, anyway.... Everytime I get back home I go under the shower, decontaminate my whole body, mop the entire boutique while trying to avoid the spots I had been before I took a shower. The reason I wear those awful looking boots is just because it makes me feel less dirty when going somewhere.
Also, everytime anypony has entered the boutique, I clean everything that has been touched afterwards and also take a shower. The reason why I was nervous is because I was afraid to tell it when somepony asks why I am acting so weird lately and well, because it's just hard to have somepony over if I have to clean the entire afterwards."
A tear slowly rolled down her white coated cheek and hit the sofa underneath her.
The mare sighed deeply and gaized back at the now flabbergasted little filly. More tears slowly started to appear in the mare's blue eyes and again, rolled slowly down her cheek.
Sweetie Belle shook her head and came back to reality, seeing her big sister sobbing next to her.
"Is...is it okay if I hug you?"
Rarity simply nodded and was immediately embraced by the caring little filly. That was it. Rarity now bursted out in tears, she didn't even think about how 'dirty' Sweetie Belle was.
"It's okay, sis. I'm going to help you get out of this." Sweetie Belle whispered, slowly moving her hoof around Rarity's back to comfort her.
The tears kept coming and made the little filly tear up aswell.
The two sobbing ponies kept holding each for what seemed like hours until Rarity stopped crying, she let go of Sweetie Belle and rubbed in her eyes, so did her little sister.
"Thank you so much dear." Rarity finally responded, a sign of relief in her big blue eyes.
"It's...okay." The white filly added. "But why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"I was scared that you might think I'm well...crazy"
"No, ofcourse not sis. But, did you tell anypony else? Are you seeing somepony for it?"
"No, I haven't told anypony except you."
"Hmm...I think it's time for telling your friends then and also to go see a therapist or something as soon as possible."
Rarity sighed deepily.
"I suppose I should."
"Well, let's go and tell them then. Oh! Maybe Twilight can do something about it with her powerful magic." Sweetie Belle said cheerfully.
Rarity gave a little smile on her face.
"Oh yes, good idea Sweetie Belle. Ok, lets go." She said, a bit cheered up and then walked over the front door. The mare didn't really think about the future cleaning, the thought of Twilight maybe being able to help her was comforting.
Rarity put on her boots that were standing outside and walked with Sweetie Belle through town to tell her friends to meet her at the cafe near the boutique in half a hour. On the way they quitely talked more about Rarity's problems. The talking did seem to relief her a bit.
______________________
Everpony had gathered at a single table at the empty cafe, her friends real curious about what Rarity had to say. They all ordered a drink, Rarity insisted to pay everything, being the element of Generosity and all.
Once all the drinks were on the table, Dash started talking.
"So what did you wanted to tell us, Rarity?" Rainbow Dash asked, sounding and looking real curious.
"I...I" The white coated unicorn began, nervously, looking at the table. " I have something to admit."
"What is it?" Twilight asked " You can tell us."
"Yeah." Applejack quickly added.
"Okay.....
So, it all began a few months back, my anxiety for germs suddenly got alot worse, I have no idea what might have caused it, to be honest."
The ponies and the baby dragon just listened, not asking questions yet.
"Every single time I come home, I...I just wash my entire body with decontaminating soap. If I don't then, well....I start panicking. Anyway, after that I mop the entire boutique until I am absolutely certain that everything is clean. While I'm mopping....I just try to avoid where I've been before the shower. Also, when somepony has been in the boutique, no matter who, I clean absolutely everything that has been touched and also take a shower.
The boots I've been wearing lately is just for reducing the stress of going outside, I...feel more clean then.
There, I said it....."
Her friends looked flabbergasted by the confession by Rarity, just like Sweetie Belle earlier. It took a while until somepony finally talked.
"That.....explains alot." Twilight said.
"Wow......" Dash softly responded.
"Oh, Rarity." Fluttershy began, with her caring voice. "I'm so, so sorry, it must be awful to live this way. We can all help if you want, right girls?"
Agreeing words and sounds came from the other four ponies in response.
Rarity's gaize went from the table to her friends. She never felt luckier to have such good friends as now.
"Thank you all so much, girls, really." The white coated unicorn said, a smile appearing afterwards.
"Is it alright if we group hug, Rare?" Pinkie asked kindly.
The unicorn chuckled and stood up from the chair.
"Yes." She simply responded.
A tight group hug followed with her best friends and her little sister followed.
"You're the best friends a pony could ever ask for." Rarity whispered, not letting go just yet.
By now it was dark, Luna's moon hung over the little town of Ponyville.
After a while of tight hugging in the quiet, empty cafe, they returned to their seats and Rarity knew they were about to ask their questions, but she had a question herself.
"So...I was thinking, Twilight." The white unicorn began.
"What is it?"
"Is there maybe some way to...well, overcome this problem with your powerful magic?" Rarity asked, looking almost like she was just begging Twilight to cure her from a terrible disease.
"Hmmm....Well, there may be a spell somewhere in the library. How about you come over to the library after this, look for a spell and also eat dinner with us? You're also welcome, Sweetie Belle, heck, anypony can come."
The look on Rarity's face turned into happy-mode again.
"Certainly, I'll simply just have to get over delaying my cleaning rituals. Would you like to come too Sweetie?"
"Uhm...No, mom and dad expect me at dinner, so I actually have to leave now. But thanks for the offer Twilight. Oh... wait, they don't want to to be alone in the dark."
"Oh, well..." Fluttershy said. "I can take you home, I suppose."
"Yeah, sure Fluttershy. Thanks."
They walked off into the darkness of the evening into the direction of the filly's home, leaving the five ponies and the baby dragon behind.
And so, Rarity's friends started to ask their questions, not a suprise to Rarity, but she now knew that talking about it does actually help.
"So, Rarity..." The purple baby dragon began. "Why didn't you just tell us?"
"I was...just so afraid that you all would think that I'm crazy."
"No, 'course not, Rare." The pink mare said in her usual good mood. "We're your friends and by the way, it isn't weird, really!"
"Well....if you say so, Pinkie Pie."
"That's the spirit!" Pinkie exclaimed, her smile covering half her pink coated face.
"So when you get home this evening, Rarity, will you perform your usual ritual?" Twilight asked curiously.
"Yes, I feel more need to take a shower every minute. No offense to you all, but I just can't let it go...yet."
"None taken." They responded in unison.
"Are ya seeing somepony about this?" Applejack asked. "Ah mean like a therapist or somethin'?"
"No, I do not, for the same reasons."
"Ah see, well...ya should. Those ponies have heard much worse things. They won't think yer crazy."
"Hmm...I suppose I should."
"Okay then, well..Ah gotta leave too, family's waiting. Good night."
They all said farewell and AJ trotted off into the darkness of the quiet town.
The ponies and the dragon kept talking for a few minutes, eventually everypony left to go eat supper.
Twilight, Spike and Rarity walked through the darkness on their way to the library, which was not far from the cafe. Rarity got nervous of the thought of going to somepony else's home, she began hyperventilating a bit. Twilight immediately know what was going on.
"You're nervous about going home with me aren't you?"
"To be honest, yes."
"Don't worry, Rarity." Spike said to comfort her. "Number one assistant Spike keeps the library as clean as a operating room." He said with his usual self-confident attitude.
The two ponies chuckled at the bad joke, but it didn't relief the white coated mare non the less and kept continuing with the mild hyperventilation.
"Try to breathe calmy Rarity, just relax, please." Twilight noted, she really meant it noticed Rarity. Her mind now filled a bit with hapiness, but not overtaking the anxiety and sadness.
"Thank you, Twilight....and Spike, ofcourse. It really means much to me that you all care about me."
"Nopony deserves this, Rarity. I don't know how it is to live with, but I'm sure it's really hard." The lavender unicorn replied. "Together, we stand strong. We will win this fight. Believe that." She added, almost like a true leader in war. The axienty in her body and mind lowered, allowing her to breathe normally.
The white mare simply smiled to her as response as they arrived at the front door of the library, she realized that and the anxiety came back already.
Spike opened the door with his key. He walked inside and quickly lighted up the hanging lantern in the middle of the room.
Twilight walked inside, but Rarity was struggeling, just like always when she visited her friends. She stood there for a few seconds, but decided to just slowly step inside. The anxiety flowed through her entire body like a racing pegasus pony, she started to sweat a bit and her breathing was now even deeper and faster.
Twilight noticed it, unlike the times before and turned around to see the terrified white mare just standing there.
Twilight sighed and began a new speech.
"I know that it's easier said than done, but you have to face your fears to overcome this problem. Well, unless we find a spell for it, ofcourse. Please, try to relax and breath normally."
"You're right, I just have to fight the urge to shower."
"That cleaning is ofcourse something you have to face, but not yet. First the small stuff. Well, just try to stop thinking about it for now." her gaize went to Spike who was finishing up some choirs that he was doing before the meeting.
"Spike can you go and make us supper? We'll search here for a spell."
"Yes, ma'am." He saluted and dashed to the kitchen, causing some giggles by the ponies he left behind. Spike probably did it to cheer up Rarity and it did, a bit.
Twilight's gaize went from the kitchen, back to the fashionista.
"Well, shall we?"
"Certainly."
After a half hour of unsuccesfull non-stop searching for a spell Spike finished cooking dinner. Rarity was happy to be an unicorn again, she really didn't want to touch the dusty old books in the library, her horn sure came in handy sometimes.
Spike called them to the kitchen. The magnificant aroma that hung in the library for about fifteen minutes now sure made the mare hungry.
Rarity and Twilight walked into the kitchen, to see the eating table full of tasty looking food.
Tomato soup, crispy hayfries, salad and as desert: chocolate ice cream.
The thought of that she was about to eat at her friend' house maybe her a bit nervous again. Are the plates really clean? No! Spike touched them, oh wait, he probably washed his claws. Oh well, Rarity could always use the mouthwash she just bought recently.
The mare was deeply in thought until Twilight brought her back to the real world be waving her hoof in front of Rarity's eyes.
"Hello? Equestria to Rarity."
The white shook her head and chuckled. "Oh, uhm...I was just deep in thought."
"You think the plates are dirty, don't you?"
"Darling, it's like you can read my mind."
"Well...it was pretty obvious. No worries, Spike washed his claws, didn't you Spike?"
"Sure did, don't worry Rarity. The plates are as clean as a whistle too." He responded cheerfully.
"Thank you, Spikey-Wikey." The white unicorn replied, causing Spike's smile to get even larger.
"Now, let's eat before it gets cold." Twilight suggested.
It all indeed was as delicous as it looked, maybe even better.
"That was simply divine, Spike. Really." The white unicorn said to the baby dragon, her stomach full with the delicious treats.
"Thanks, Rarity." He blushed a bit and tried to avoid eye contact by looking at the table.
"It was delicous Spike. Now, Rarity, shall we get back to work?"
Rarity finally came back home from her friend Twilight Sparkle, after searching the entire library until deep in the night and finding nothing really dissapointed her. Just facing it seems like the only option then, Rarity shivered at the thought of the future, she certainly did not look forward to the amount of fear that was waiting for her not soon from now. Unless she just didn't face it at all, living like this was hard but doable, for now that is.
The mare stood in front of the boutique for a while, just worrying about the things to come until the who-ing of a nearby owl interfered with her thoughts, she shook her head and opened the front door with her horn.
Rarity took off the boots and put them gently next to the front door outside in the darkness. She then slowly walked into the boutique and lit the lantern with her magic. The pony sighed deeply, she didn't want to do the usual routine again, but then again, if she didn't, then the anxiety would highly increase, causing her to avoid all sort of things.
Rarity reluctantly walked slowly up the stairs with her head hung down to the bathroom again and lit the lantern upstairs.
She turned on the shower and waited in front of it until the water was the right temperature. The mare stood there in the cold bathroom, just looking at the water dropping on the floor while being deep in thought yet again. She tried hard to think back at what happened back then to cause this awful phobia, but nothing came up, nothing....Rarity had never known what could have caused it, even back then.
She only remembers the very first time that she felt like this....
_____________________________________
Rarity was deep in sleep, dreaming of all sorts of wonderful things until her alarm clock woke her up from her rest, it was a new day and she had work to do.
She spent the beautiful spring morning creating a new dress, taking her time, happily singing all sorts of songs doing the thing she loves most until a hyperactive little white unicorn came bouncing in with a flyer in her mouth, Rarity's little sister Sweetie Belle.
"Hey sis! I totally forgot it, but this year's Sister Hooves Social is this afternoon! Can we go again?"
Oh no, not again. Rarity didn't really want to go, but lately she hasn't done much with her little sister.
The mare was in thought with a considering look on her face, her hoof on her white coated chin.
"Aww, come on. It'll be fun." Sweetie begged with a sad expression to get Rarity to give in.
"Ok, we'll go." The mare said reluctantly, but trying to sound enthousiastic.
"YAY!" The filly cried into the air, then bounced around the boutique in happiness "Thank sis." She said after she calmed down a bit.
"I just got to finish this beautiful dress, I'll meet you there, well, unless you want to stay." She actually hoped that her sister would leave, but tried to be nice.
"No thanks. I got some crusading to do. Bye." She said happily and then trotted off, dissapearing in the crowds of the market outside.
Rarity closed the door with her horn and continued with what she was doing, her mind focusing on the dress again.
----------
Rarity arrived at Sweet Apple Acres to compete in the Sister Hooves Social again with her sister Sweetie Belle. She already saw her standing in the distance next to Applejack and Apple Bloom, Rarity was late, she just wanted to finish the dress first, luckily it turned out just as she wanted, it put her in a even better mood.
"Here I am." Rarity said to Sweetie Belle when she was sure that she close enough for it to be comprehendable. Sweetie immediately turned around, a smile on her face.
"My apologies for being late." The mare said gently.
"It's okay, you're here, that's what matters." Sweetie Belle happily said.
Sweetie was just done talking when Granny Smith started to yell some inaudible things in the microphone, well atleast inaudible for Rarity, but it was obvious that the race was about to start.
The ponies walked the starting line in front of the big mudd pool, except for Rarity. When her mind processed that she had to get dirty, an hugh amount of anxiety unlike anything she had ever experienced suddenly shot through her entire body.
Why was she so scared to get dirty? Normally it wasn't that bad, but now she just stood there shocked, thinking of what to do.
"Come on sis, it's about to start." Sweetie said, standing by the start line a few hooves away from the shocked white coated mare.
She recieved no answer and her face turned from a happy to a confused looking one. She observed Rarity and immediately saw the fear in the big blue eyes of her.
"What's wrong?"
"Three.....Two.....One....." Granny Smith counted, just audible now.
Rarity suddenly turned around and ran away as she heard the start sign of the contest behind her.
"Rarity! Where are you going?!" She heard vaguely through the wind that blasted against her ears.
Sweetie just stood there at the start line, having not a clue of what was going on. She just stared at the white pony running away to the direction of the village.
_________________________________
Rarity was still standing there in front of the shower, reliving the event of a few months ago. Minutes had passed by, the shower still running with nopony under it.
The mare shook her head when her event in her head was over, she felt regret for what she had done that day, but was happy that Sweetie Belle didn't really mind, instead she did keep asking why Rarity ran away like that, but never got an answer from her.
The white mare now felt even worse for ignoring her confused little sister like that, maybe the hot shower will cheer her up.
She stepped into the falling hot water, It was just the right temperature. Rarity made sure her entire body was wet then grabbed the bottle of soap with her teeth and did her thing. Her mind was coming up with all sorts of bad memories of the past, causing her to get more gloomy every second. She waited as always until she was sure that the soap had removed all the germs on her body and stepped under the falling water again.
Once the mare was sure that she was clean, she stepped out of the shower and dryed herself, each towel for a different body part as always. She yet again didn't style her mane and tell.
Rarity now did something new, she opened the bottle of mouthwash with her horn and poured some into the glass on the sink. She poured it into her mouth and rinsed her mouth for forty seconds, just barely making it without spitting out it out in disgust and because it was so hot. She then filled the glass with water and rinsed her mouth with that to get rid of the awful taste of the blue liquid.
She then spit it out and turned on the faucet afterwards to remove the fluids of spit and moutwash. It didn't feel clean enough for her and got some bleach out of the closet in the bathroom. Rarity poured it onto a cloth and cleaned the entire sink with it, all of it with her horn ofcourse.
Satisfied she trew the cloth into the laundry-basket and continued her cleaning ritual by filling the mop cart with soapy-water. Reluctantly she started mopping the entire boutique yet again which took about a hour. She then reminded that Sweetie Belle was here earlier and cleaned the sofa with furniture wash until she was satisfied. The plate with the cups of tea on it was still on the table, they didn't even touch it, because of Rarity's confession. The mare levitated it to the kitchen and was satisfied with her work.
Rarity was exhausted by the long day and walked up stairs to go to bed. She entered the room and lit the lantern hanging from the cealing, now able to see her lonely bed where Opal mostly lay during the day.
She missed her. A few weeks back Rarity had reluctantly given Opalescance to Fluttershy, she started to see her as dirty too and just had to give her away for now. Rarity never told the actual reason to Fluttershy, who only asked her once because of her lack of self-consicous.
Rarity got into her bed with a gloomy mood, just like always and unlit the lantern with her horn, which only served her for seeing where she was going. Rarity just stared at the ceiling, unable to block out the awful things her mind was coming up non-stop. After what seemed like hours she finally fell asleep in her cozy, warm two pony sized bed.
It was sunday morning, birds chirped, the sun shane over Ponyville, ponies looked happy. Well, except Rarity.
The mare woke up, but didn't want to get out of bed. She kept laying there under her blanket, thinking about what to do today. A visit to the doctor about her problem would be smart, so she reluctantly stood up and went over to her make-up table and did her things.
Once she was done the white coated mare gloomely walked down the stairs to make herself some breakfast, even though she wasn't that hungry.
Rarity made herself some scrambled eggs, it wasn't very tasty, but that was probably because she was gloomy.
She cleaned everything up, walked out the door with a sigh and put on the hideous boots that were standing next to the door outside. They were cold, obviously, they had been standing there all night long, just another reason to feel down.
On the the way to the doctor she could feel the tension in her chest, just like always when she felt dirty.
Rarity gloomely walked through Ponyville, seeing all the happy ponies made her a bit jelous, even though she wouldn't even admit it in her mind.
What did she do to deserve this? Sure, she wasn't the nicest pony in Equestria, but she wasn't that bad.
Rarity arrived at the Health Centre of Ponyville after the trial of bad memories, jelousy, anger, sadness and anxiety.
Visiting a public building always made her anxious, no execption this time.
The mare spoke to the receptionist about wanting to see a doctor and took a seat in the 'dirty' waiting room of the Health Centre.
There were some other ponies in the waiting room, but Rarity chose out a seat as far away as possible from anypony.
Rarity sat there, uncomfortably, nervous, anxious waiting on the doctor that would come and get her to talk about the mare's problems. Minutes passed by which seemed like hours of nervousness until she was the only pony and the waiting room. Rarity kept stairing at the clock, like trying to move it forward a few minutes until one of the office doors opened.
A big brown coated stallion came out, obviously a patient and the doctor followed a minute later.
"Miss...." he began, then looked at his clipboard. "Rarity?"
Rarity gave no response, walked up to the doctor and reluctantly gave him a hoofshake. Now she really felt nervous, causing a shiver running up and down her spine and her arm pits to get a little moisty and by that causing more nevousness.
"G-good morning." She nervously said and then walked into the office after the doctor.
"Take a seat." The doctor said as he sat down on his on the other end of the white. He looked just like the stereotype doctor, he was a unicorn with a grey mane and tail, a light brown coat, a glasses on his muzzle and a long white lab coat around him.
Rarity took a look at the chair to check for any reason to feel dirty and sat down, not that she didn't feel more dirty now, but the mare now always does it before she sits down.
"So, what seems to be the problem?" He asked as he pushed his glasses higher up his brown coated muzzle with his hoof.
"I think...Well, no.....I am a germophobe." Rarity began. "For a few months now, I have been doing this cleaning ritual every time I feel dirty. I mostly feel the need for it when I have been outside my house or when I have a customer in my boutique. First I always shower myself, using decontaminating soap for my entire body, then I mop the entire building, while trying to avoid standing on the spots where I have been before my shower. And if I somepony over, I perform the same ritual, but then also clean anything that he or she has touched, not matter who it is."
She felt ashamed to tell such a thing to a pony who wasn't her friend, but then reminded what her friend Applejack told her, doctors hear much worse things than this. Non the less, she was still sitting uncomfortably, constant,y moving out of nervousness.
The doctor finished writing and looked up at the mare through his glasses
"I see. And when you do not perform these rituals?" He asked.
"I get really anxious and start avoiding things to not make them dirty." Rarity simply replied.
"Are you feeling dirty right now?" The stallion asked her.
"Yes." Rarity replied. Yes I do."
He stopped writing, put his glasses on the white table and placed his forehoofs under his chin.
"Ok. So, would you like to get therapy for his?" The doctor asked her.
"Yes, please."
A little smile appeared on her face.
"Alright. What about medication that could help you with it?"
"I suppose that wouldn't hurt. Yes."
"Alright." He began as he leviated some papers and a pencil behind him with his horn and placed them on the table in front of Rarity. "If you can just fill in this information."
"Fine." She simply replied and filled in the paperwork with her horn.
When the mare filled it all it she placed it in front of the doctor with her magic.
The doctor put his glasses back on and quickly observed the papers.
"Ok. You will be contacted soon." He said as he stood up.
"Yes, well...thank you." Rarity said as she shook the doctor's hoof.
She walked out the door and said goodbye to the doctor. Well that was easy and quick.
Her mood was pretty good then, she was actually still smiling a bit.
The fashionista walked out of the health centre and headed for Fluttershy's cottage, she was already dirty anyway.
On her way Rarity came by Applejack's stand on the market, it was on the way to Fluttershy anyway.
Applejack wasn't having many customers and was just looking around in boredom until she spotted the white coated mare with the hideous boots walking to her stand.
"Howdy partner. How are ya feelin'?" AJ asked her. The earth pony looked happy to see her.
"Greetings, Applejack. I feel quite good actually, thank you, how about you?"
"Ah'm fine, but a little bored. Not much customers today, Ah might aswell leave. So...did ya find anythin' in the library?"
Rarity smile faded.
"Sadly, no. But I have spoken with a doctor. He asked if I wanted therapy and medication. And I said yes to both, I will get contacted soon."
Her little smile came back with the thought of the now bright future. AJ now smiled too.
"That's great for ya, Rarity. So, do ya need any help with something or do ya have something that you want to talk about? Ah've got nothin' to do here anyway." The orange pony offered.
"Why thank you for the offer, but I am fine."
"Alrighty then, just say so whenever you do. Ah'm happy to help."
"Thank you again Applejack. I'll see you later."
"See ya later sugarcube."
Rarity's friendship with Applejack had really grown since that sleepover at Twilight. They began respecting each others differences after that, but still jokingly argued sometimes. Another thing to be happy about.
The fashionista continued walking the path to Fluttershy's cottage with a good mood, unlike earlier. She was curious how it went with Sweetie Belle and wanted to see Opal. Not that she didn't feel the need to shower.
Once the mare arrived at the cottage, she reluctantly knocked on the door, but immediately shook her head after that, everything's going to be fine. She can shower after this.
The door opened, showing the yellowed coated pegasus standing in the door way, she also looked happy to see Rarity.
"Oh, hi Rarity. Come in." Fluttershy said and stepped aside to let Rarity enter.
"Good morning." She greeted and walked inside.
The pink maned pony shut the door behind her friend.
"Take a seat. Would you like some tea?"
"No, thank you." The purple maned pony answered as she walked over to one of the couches. She didn't want to flush her mouth with that disgusting mouthwash again. She took a seat and so did Fluttershy.
"Anything else?" Fluttershy asked.
"No, nothing. Thank you." Rarity replied, gently.
"Ok, me neither then. So, how are you Rarity?" The pegasus asked with a smile.
"I'm fine." Rarity responded with a smile "I just went to the doctor and he can get me therapy and medication. I will be contacted soon, he said. How are you?"
"Oh, that's great. I'm really happy for you Rarity. And, yes, I'm fine"
"Good. Well, how did it go with Sweetie Belle yesterday?"
"Oh, it was no problem. Your parents weren't angry at all."
"I'm glad, thank you."
"No problem Rarity. Say....Do you need any help with your problem at the moment? Or..or Do you want get something of your chest?" She asked, just like Applejack.
Rarity was really happy with her friends, they were always there for her.
"No, I can't think of anything at the moment. But, thank you anyway." She said, thanking Fluttershy once again.
Fluttershy visibly blushed a bit and looked away.
"No uhm...problem. I'm...uh always there for you when you do."
"I'll keep that in mind." She said, instead of thanking her again. Suddenly Rarity's mind came up with something, the anxiety made her forget some things from time to time.
"How is Opalescence?"
Fluttershy's blush dissapppeared and looked back up at Rarity with a sad look. "Oh, well...um, I still don't think she really likes it here actually."
Fluttershy's eyes suddenly grew bigger, she discovered something and Rarity knew what that was. Oh well...It isn't a secret anymore.
"Oooooh. Your Mysophobia, is that why you gave her to me?"
"To be honest..yes." Rarity confessed. "I can give her to somepony else you know."
"No, no, no...ofcourse not. Wait, I'll bring here..I mean, if you want to."
"Certainly, I would like to see her."
Rarity kept sitting on the sofa as Fluttershy walked upstairs. She missed Opal and she did wanted to see her, but ofcourse...she was too dirty to touch.
The unicorn snapped back out of thought as she heard a loud growl from upstairs, followed by shriek, obviously by Fluttershy.
"Everything alright up there?!" Rarity exclaimed.
She didn't get an answer, instead the pegasus just came down the stairs with the annoyed cat on her back.
Fluttershy sat her on the sofa next to Rarity and kept standing where she was to leave room for Opal.
The cat just sat there, paying no attention to the mare as she always. Rarity didn't touch the critter, but just spoke to her.
"Hello, Opalescence. How are you?" Rarity asked with a smile.
Opal's gaize went to Rarity and then back to the floor.
"Once I'm better, you can come home again. I promise."
The cat didn't pay any attention to Rarity, but she was happy to see her non the less.
Rarity kept talking to the uninterested cat for minutes and then left. She still had a boutique to run and still felt the need to shower.
It was evening, Rarity's friends had gathered in the library, all of them sitting at the table, except for Pinkie who was hopping around.
"But, how can we actually help her?" Rainbow Dash asked, her gaize changing from one pony to the other.
"Well, talking with her is one thing, talking is good." Twilight suggested.
"Yeah...and we can keep cheering her up, it must be hard to have such a phobia." Applejack added.
"Oh, I know! A party! Auntie Pinkie Pie is the best at cheering ponies up!" Pinkie loudly suggested, bouncing around the library.
"That's your solution to everything." Rainbow said annoyed. "We can't trow a party every single day, you know."
"Well...uhm.." Fluttershy began. "How about...uhm...we go do something fun with her each day. I mean like...another pony every day."
"Yes! That's it!" Pinkie happily exclaimed, still bouncing around with her sugar-fueled body.
"That is indeed a good idea, Fluttershy." Twilight complimented. "Maybe it will even help her with facing her fears. Okay, Do we all agree to do this?"
Agreeing sounds and words came everypony, so Twilight levitated a blank paper, a quill and ink and put it on the table in front of her. Pinkie had stopped hopping and sat at the table too, curious what Twilight wanted to do.
"Let's all pick out a day on which we can each do something with her. Okay, Applejack, which day and time is best for you?" She asked, gaizing at the orange earth pony.
"sunday afternoon sounds good fer me." AJ replied.
"Okay." Twilight said, while writing 'Applejack' after 'sunday'. "What about you, Rainbow Dash?"
"Hmm....saturday morning is fine." She answered, not wanting to give up naptime on a workday.
"Alright. And Pinkie Pie?"
"I'm available everyday, after work that is!"
"Shall I put you at monday afternoon?"
"Okie dokie lokie." She happily answered.
"Ok, Fluttershy?
"Umm....tuesday morning?"
"Yes, that is fine." Twilight said and wrote her after tuesday. "Ok, I'll just put myself on wednesday evening. She'll have enough time to run the boutique on the remaining days.
After she was done, her horn started to glow and shoot at the paper, multiplying it to five pieces of the same paper.
"Take this, so you won't forget it." The unicorn said as she slided them over to each of them.
"Yeah...but, will she even like this?" Applejack asked, unsure if Rarity will be willing to do something with them each day.
"Let's find out." Twilight replied.
________________________
Rarity was busy working on a dress, until she heard four knock on the front door. She walked down stairs, a bit nervous, not wanting the clean the house again.
She opened the door with her magic and saw her five friends standing there.
"Good evening, girls come in." Rarity gently told them as she stepped aside to let them in, but they kept standing there.
"Hi, Rarity, we'll just stand here, so you won't have to do your routine again." Pinkie offered.
"Oh, why thank you....So, what's going on?"
"We um...came up with a way to cheer you up everyday...well....almost everyday, but only if you will accept it, ofcourse" Fluttershy said.
"What is it?" Rarity curiously asked, her gaize going from one pony to another.
"Well...we thought about one of us doing something fun with you everyday." Twilight explained, who was holding a piece of paper in the air with her horn.
"Another pony each day." Rainbow added, who was hanging in the air, just above the ground.
"We made a list to see who is on what day." AJ said.
"Uhm...well, if you're alright with this, ofcourse and well um..if the times are alright with you." The timid pegasus added.
Twilight levitated the list she was holding in the air over to Rarity, allowing her to see the times and days.
Rarity observed the list with narrowed eyes for a minute, before she looked up and smiled.
"That is very nice of you all, thank you all so much and yes, the days and times are fine by me. I still have plenty of time to run the boutique this way. I would hug you all...if...you know."
"It's alright, Rarity." Pinkie Pie reassured the unicorn, while hopping in happiness.
"Oh, before I forget.." The lavender coated egghead began. She did the same multiply spell on the list in front of Rarity.
"Here, a...uh...clean one." Twilight offered.
"Thank you...and girls, I really appreciate this, so, thanks again."
"Oh, it's nothing, really." Rainbow Dash replied.
Agreeing words came from everypony.
"I'll see you tommorow, Rarity. It's my turn then." Pinkie excitedly said.
"Yes, ofcourse. Goodbye girls." She responded to the leaving ponies and so they all did too.
Germophobe Chapter VI - Facing Your Fears. (Monday.)
It was monday afternoon.
Rarity was in her boutique working on the dress from last night. She was nervous. In a few minutes, Pinkie Pie would come and get here to do something fun. Rarity hoped that didn't involve cotton candy or other sticky things that the pink mare would call 'food'.
The fashionista could barely sleep. She was really grateful for what her friends came up with, but that doesn't just take away anxiety.
So, she also hoped that Pinkie Pie didn't come up with something too exhausting.
Rarity was deep in thought, thinking about what was going to happen in a few minutes. Causing her to lose her concentration. She took a brake, her friend would come and get her any minute now anyway.
As she walked down the stairs of the boutique, the sound of somepony knocking loudly on the door was heard.
Rarity sighed, walked down the stairs, over to the door and opened it with her magic, showing the excited pink party pony hopping in front of her door.
"Hi Rarity!"
"Good afternoon, Pinkie Pie." She said, forcing herself to put on a smile.
"Are ya coming?"
The tension in Rarity's chest got worse and her heart was racing.
"Y-yes."
Rarity walked outside, closed the door with her magic and stepped into her trusty boots. They looked awful, but she didn't really care anymore. She could buy an actual good looking pair, but the thought never came up, since was always thinking actual problems. She found the pair in her closet and thought that it would come in handy and it did.
"You're nervous aren't you?" Pinkie asked with her unusual sad sounding voice and stopped hopping while they were on their way to whatever the party pony had in mind.
"Yes. Yes I am." Rarity simply answered.
"You're a really tough mare, Rarity. How somepony can you live in such an anxiety is a mystery to me. But anyway...don't be nervous!" She exclaimed, snapping back into her usual happy mood.
"So, where are we going?" The unicorn asked, in her mind hoping that the party pony didn't have anything 'dirty' in her random mind.
"We're going for a walk in the whitetail woods!"
Rarity eyes got huge and felt the panic dashing through her body from head to hindlegs.
"Wh-what?" She muttered out as she stopped in her tracks.
"Remember my song, Rarity." Pinkie Pie replied, also stopping.
"Rarity, you've gotta stand up tall. Learn to face your fears. You'll see that getting dirty can't hurt you. Just laugh and make your fears disappear.
"Oops! Sorry. But, anyway, come on, it'll be fun. We can talk about anything you want."
"Ugh...Alright." The fashionista reluctantly replied. Pinkie still was giving up her free time for her to help her.
They continued walking, well... and hopping to the Whitetail Woods. Rarity told Pinkie that she only wanted to talk about her problems there, so nopony else could hear them. So, on the way there, no word was spoken.
After a few minutes of walking and hopping, they arrived there and Pinkie already began talking about the unicorn's problems once they stepped into the mud.
"What do you feel right now?" She asked Rarity seriously, who was struggeling with the mud on her boots.
"The need to clean this boots, and as always, to shower."
"And why do you feel those things?"
"Cleaning the things that are dirty for me is the only way for me to stop thinking about it."
"And what if you don't perform your cleaning rituals?"
"Then...my... my anxiety just gets too high and get I panic attack."
"Why?"
"I don't want to be dirty!"
"What do you think will happen if you don't perform your rituals?"
"I......am afraid that I...will just live in fear for the rest of my life."
Pinkie sighed and reluctantly tackled the unicorn by sticking one hoof out in front of her. Rarity fell into the mud, causing it to splash into the air.
"Pinkie!!" yelled the mud-covered, laying fashionista. "Why did you do that!?
"I am so sorry....but.........what do you feel now?"
"Anger towards you! And the need to shower, very badly!" She exclaimed, then groaned and stood up.
"Rarity, the one and only way to solve this is to face your fears, nopony is saying that it's easy. Better to do it begin with it now, since it can take a long time before you will even have your medication and therapy."
There was a long silence between the two until Pinkie broke it after a few minutes later.
"It's the only way, Rarity." Pinkie said, even more serious. " For example, if you come home later, don't shower and just sit on your sofa. What do think can happen?...... Nothing, at all.
Just say: 'Go away' to your fears and they will. They will come back later, but you have to keep on doing it. It can take months, but it'll worth it...don't you think?"
Rarity's anger dissapeared from her body and mind, but not the huge amount of panic dashing through her, causing her to hyperventilate.
"That is........easier... said than done."
"Breathe slowly, Rarity. Please, just relax.
"How do you.... know so much about this, Pinkie Pie?" The white-coated unicorn asked as she tried to breathe slowly.
"I got a book about it from the library." She explained, sounding like herself again. " I wanted to understand Mysophobia more. And everything I just said stood in there."
"Well....thank you for the interest, I guess. Shall we walk further?" She reluctantly asked the party pony while wiping the mud from her coat, trying her best to ignore her thoughts.
"Yeah, sure! Sorry again for the tackle."
"It's....fine."
__________________________
"So, how did it go?" Twilight asked as soon as she saw the pink pony enter the library.
Twilight and the others all agreed to meet in the library before dinner time to talk about how it went.
"Good, I think. I did what you asked, she didn't like it ofcourse...but I hope it opened her eyes a bit." She replied as she joined the table.
"So, what does she think will happen if she doesn't perform her routine?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously.
"She is afraid that she will have to live the rest of her life in fear." Pinkie Pie answered sadly.
"Ah really wonder what made her think this way, this is really bad." Applejack said, a bit flabbergasted.
"Well....um." Fluttershy began. "Rarity said that she didn't know it herself."
"Maybe because she is hiding something". Twilight brought up. "Fluttershy, try to find out tommorow. We'll meet here again same time."
Chapter 6 (VI) will come sooner or later. It's just that I lose my concentration very quickly lately and that I am stuck at some points in the story.
So here is what I have written already:
Germophobe Chapter VI - Spilling The Beans. (Tuesday.)
Rarity was early up this morning, due to the awful events from the day before, she couldn't sleep very well because she had another 'fun' activity today.
The fashionista was shakingly reading the newspaper, even though her concentration broke every few seconds. After giving up on beginning to read a article for the hunderth time, she lay on her sofa.
"Whatever shall I do?" She asked herself.
She could cancel today's activity, but she just couldn't, her best friends gave up their free time, just to help her.
After shaking her head to make the thought disappear, her mind now focused on what Pinkie said the day before.
'For example, if you come home later, don't shower and just sit on your sofa. What do you think will happen?.......Nothing, at all.'
One part of Rarity knew that it actually was true, but the other part just said that is was just a load of horseapples.
As she was in debate with herself, a few subtle knocks came from the door. Rarity cursed awful things in her head as she put on a fake smile and opened the door.
"Hi, Rarity."
"Hello." Rarity simply greeted and stepped into her new boots outside.
"Ohh, new boots?" Fluttershy asked
"Yes, they are fabulous, no?" The fashionista retorted, doing her best to sound like herself and also happy.
Sound like herself.....the unicorn did really feel like she wasn't Rarity the fashionista anymore, like she just body swapped with another pony.
"Certainly, they are very pretty...Well, shall we go?"
"Yes, where are we going?" Rarity asked, shakingly walking with her friend.
"The spa." The yellow pegasus simply retorted.
It was like the two words that came out of her mouth just punched Rarity in the stomach.
"T-the s-s-spa?" Rarity muttered out, as she started to walk slower.
Fluttershy turned around to her friend, who then stopped walking.
Germophobe Chapter VII - Spilling The Beans. (Tuesday.)
Rarity was early up this morning, due to the awful events from the day before, she couldn't sleep very well because she had another 'fun' activity today.
The fashionista was shakingly reading the newspaper, even though her concentration broke every few seconds. After giving up on beginning to read a article for the hunderth time, she lay on her sofa.
"Whatever shall I do?" She asked herself.
She could cancel today's activity, but she just couldn't, her best friends gave up their free time, just to help her.
After shaking her head to make the thought disappear, her mind now focused on what Pinkie said the day before.
"For example, if you come home later, don't shower and just sit on your sofa. What do you think will happen?.......Nothing, at all."
One part of Rarity knew that it actually was true, but the other part just said that is was just a load of horseapples.
As she was in debate with herself, a few subtle knocks came from the door. Rarity cursed awful things in her head as she put on a fake smile and opened the door.
"Hi, Rarity."
"Hello." Rarity simply greeted and stepped into her new boots outside.
"Ohh, new boots?" Fluttershy asked
"Yes, they are fabulous, no?" The fashionista retorted, doing her best to sound like herself and also happy.
Sound like herself.....the unicorn did really feel like she wasn't Rarity the fashionista anymore, like she just mind swapped with another pony.
"Certainly, they are very pretty...Well, shall we go?"
"Yes, where are we going?" Rarity asked, shakingly walking with her friend.
"The spa." The yellow pegasus simply retorted.
It was like the two words that came out of her mouth just punched Rarity in the stomach.
"T-the s-s-spa?" Rarity muttered out, as she started to walk slower.
Fluttershy turned around to her friend, who then stopped walking. She put on a obvious fake smile.
"Oh, come on, it'll be.....nice."
The unicorn already sighed in defeat, Fluttershy was trying to help her, she thought while all sorts of possible events ran through her mind.
"My apologies, but please understand that this is really hard for me. But okay...I'll go." Rarity said and started to walk again, causing Fluttershy to move as well.
"Rarity....I really hope you get professional help soon, I can´t imagine how horrible this all must be for you."
"Yes.....thank you."
They continued their way to the Ponyville spa, every single step causing more anxiety to strike through Rarity's body while no word was spoken between the two.
As they arrived at the spa, Rarity kept struggeling at the entrance, causing Fluttershy put on a obvious fake smile again that now convinced her to enter. Of all her friends, Fluttershy was the last pony who's feeling she would want to hurt. And again, the kind pegasus was trying to help.
"The usual, please." Fluttershy said to the blue coated mare with a pink mane and tail behind the counter.
They went to the sauna, Rarity was cursing things in her mind as she didn't really want to sweat. Well, she didn't want to be here at all.
The two friends were talking about things other than Rarity's problems since she prefered that no other ponies knew of it.
After all the 'relaxing' treatments the two got to the bubblebad and were finally alone. The fashionista knew what was coming.
"So....Rarity.." The timid pony began, whispering. "How long have you exactly been having these problems?"
"Um...Almost three months, I think"
"And you have no idea what happened that caused this? Even if it's not that long ago?"
"No, I do not, I only remember the time that I first felt this way." She admitted as she relived the awful memories. The fear she never felt before when the race almost started, her running, Sweetie Belle yelling behind her in confusion.
"Rarity! Where are you going?!"
Then the events after the race came to her overly active mind.
"Sis, why did you run away?"
.......
"What's wrong? You can tell me."
.......
"Rarity?"
"Rarity?"
"Rarity?!" Fluttershy yelled to the unicorn who was completely frozen, a world of terror plastered on her face.
"Why won't you answer me? Did I do something wrong?"
Fluttershy took action. She slided over the traumatised unicorn and began shaking her to snap her back to reality.
"Rarity!"
One of the spa's beauticians now came back, wondering what the fuss was about, but just stood there and watched.
The yellow pegasus splashed some water in her face as an attempt to bring her back. And it did. She shook her head and looked at her friend in front of her.
"Sorry for that, and this..." She said and jumped out of the tub, sprinting over to the entrance where her boots lay and quickly put them on. She opened the door with her magic and sprinted as fast as she could through the wind with her soaking wet body.
The mare didn't even notice all the strange looks she was getting from the ponies that she passed. It didn't matter, she had to go home.
"What's up? Why are we meeting earlier?" Rainbow asked curiously as she stepped into the library with Applejack and Pinkie Pie.
"Yeah, is there something wrong with Rarity? Please say no, please say no." Pinkie said with her usual active presence as they joined Fluttershy and Twilight at the dinner table.
"Rarity ran away during their spa visit." Twilight began. "After Fluttershy asked what we planned, she said that she only remembered the first time she felt that way, after that she just froze and looked terrified. When Fluttershy got Rarity back to Equestria after a few tries, she said that she was sorry and just ran away.
"Wow!.......What the hay happened a few months back?! This is really bad..." Pinkie replied concerned.
"Yeah...very bad." Applejack added. "Isn't there some other way ta help her?"
A brief moment of silence came between the five friends.
"Um.." Fluttershy began, breaking the silence. "How about we tell Princess Celestia about this? Maybe she could help."
"That's it!" Twilight yelled, looking a bit happier than a few seconds before. "I'll ask have an audiance with us. Spike!"
"Coming!" Came from upstairs. In a matter of seconds he stood at the table. He knew that the conversation was about Rarity and that they needed his help, so he was extra fast.
