Sheamus In Equestria (Unedited)

by Brohgue

First published

During a match for the World Title, Sheamus slams his opponent so hard it shifts space and time! Now he is in a world full of talking ponies.

During a match for the World Title, Sheamus slams his opponent so hard it shifts space and time! Now he is in a world full of talking ponies. Will The Great White Sheamus survive Equestria? Or will he never get home and get his title?

Warning: Unless you watch World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) this will not make very much sense.

Rated Teen for strong language and mild violence.

Prologue

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"Hello ladies and gentleman, my name is Micheal Cole and with me is JBL and we have a fantastic match-up for you. Sheamus vs. Big Show, for the World Heavyweight Championship!" The ring announcer walked up the steel steps to the ring, he took the microphone he was hiding in his pocket and raised it to his mouth.

"The following match-up is for... The... World... HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!" The crowd roared at the mention of the championship. Then the music started to play, it was a slow rock song with a deep voice singing to it.


Start Music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwxeMTOftwA

Then a massive monster of a human being came walking slowly out on the stage, he raised his arms and the fireworks shot up. The crowd started to scream and yell, the commentators could barely be heard. This monster that they loved so much was of course The Big Show. He started to steadily walk toward and soon down the ramp. Big Show walked up the steps and raised his leg over the top rope. He raised his arms and more fireworks came from the ring posts, the cheers grew louder as he steadily walked in to one of the corners of the ring.

End Music

The stadium lights turned green as a different song came through speakers, a metal/rock type of song, started with a low voice and turning in to a loud metal voice.

Start Music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QBEUOy1n7Q

The music blasted through the arena, as a pale white man with spiky orange hair walked out half way on to the stage, he had a belt across his waist, the man then beat his chest three times, at the end of the chest beating he expanded each arm in a wingspan type of way. This man of course was Sheamus the best wrestler ever. He walked down the ramp in almost a comedic way as he climbed up on the ring and crawled through the top and middle rope. Sheamus beat his chest again, but when he stuck his arms out in the wingspan formation, fireworks came from the ring posts. He walked to the opposite corner of the ring from The Big Show.

End Music

The ring announcer glanced at each opponent before bringing the microphone up to his mouth again.

"The challenger, standing at seven feet tall and weighing in at four-hundred-twenty-five pounds, THE BIG SHOOOW!" The crowd roared some of them booing and some cheering. The announcer glanced at Sheamus again before introducing him.

"And the World Heavyweight Champion," Some of the crowd was booing before the announcer could finish, "standing at six foot four and weighing in at two-hundred-sixty-seven pounds, SHEAMUS!. The crowd had mixed reactions half booing and half cheering, Sheamus handed the belt to the ref, the ref held it up in both hands, showing it to the crowd. The ref handed it to one of the staff members at ring side who then brought it over by the commentator table.

*Ding Ding*

The bell rang and the two circled around the ring. The commentators spoke up again.

"Okay, this seems like this will be pretty even we have two amazing ath-" Micheal Cole was cut off when Sheamus skipped a little on his left foot and bringing the right foot in to Big Shows head. The crowd yelled at the top of their lungs in shock of witnessing the awesome power of Sheamus.

"BROGUE KICK! BROGUE KICK! THIS IS GOING TO BE THE FASTEST TITLE MATCH WIN IN HISTORY!" Sheamus quickly covered the monster, the ref started to count as he slammed his hand on the mat. The crowd counted with the ref.

"ONE... TWO... THRE-"

"OHHHH!" The crowd and both commentators yelled in unison.

"This match is pretty one sided." JBL exclaimed, Sheamus bent down to a ready position as Big Show groggily started to stand, Sheamus kicked him in the groin and pulled his head between his thighs and lifted his arms, the crowd started to cheer, egging Sheamus on.

The commentators watched in shock as he lifted The Big Show over his shoulders and on to his back.

"There is no way in hell, Sheamus can do this! He's going for the High Cross!"

***

Sheamus' back started to strain and his muscles felt as if they would pop out of his skin, even he couldn't believe he was about to perform the High Cross on Big Show. Sheamus lifted Big Show even further above his shoulders and started to run with him on his back, only one thing was on his mind, I'm screwed, I am going to get injured!

Then, the moment of truth, Sheamus threw Big Show down on the ring, then it all went black.

***

Sheamus threw Big Show on the ring, a loud rumble echoed through the arena as a flash of light blinded everybody, as the light died down, the occupants could make out the scene. The Big Show was smashed straight through the ring leaving a large hole, and Sheamus... Sheamus wasn't there!

JBL and Micheal Cole watched with wide eyes, before speaking in unison.

"What the fuck?"

O Mah God! Faukin' talkin' herses!

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"Okay, Cutie Mark Crusaders, any ideas to get our mar-" Sweetie Belle was cut off by a loud crash sounding outside the clubhouse, they all jumped in fear. Scootaloo gulped before speaking up.

"Uh, what was that?" Scootaloo stood up and walked towards the door of the clubhouse, she opened it to see a large crater no more than ten feet from the ladder of the clubhouse. Scootaloo, out of curiosity, trotted to the ladder and climbed down straight in to the large dust cloud, waving her hoof around to clear her way.

"Scootaloo! Ya don' know what's down ther!" Applebloom yelled down at her friend, Scootaloo took no heed of what she was saying, she just continued through the dust. Applebloom and Sweetie cautiously walked to the balcony to see what it was. Scootaloo tripped in a pothole and face planted right on... something? Scootaloo raised her head to see a white, squishy texture, laid in front of her. She put her hooves on the... thing that she was now standing on. Scootaloo giggled before jumping on it repeatedly.

"Hey, guys! Get down here! This is like a squishy trampoline!" Sweetie and Applebloom shrugged and decided to climb down the ladder. They walked through the crater, stepping over rocks and potholes. Applebloom excitedly jumped right on the white thing, but Sweetie looked more closely and saw a pair of claws, a head, four legs, and orange hair. Sweetie's eyes widened as she screamed at her friends.

"Get off! Get off! It's an animal!" Applebloom and Scootaloo looked down at the creature, they let out a small squeak and quickly got off the being they were standing on. The animal let out a small grunt as it tried to push itself off the ground with it's forelegs, it fell back down with a hard *thump*. It groaned and started to mumble a few words.

"Get... the... hell... off me." It said well waving it's hand towards the crusaders. The three smiled widely, before all speaking in unison.

"IT CAN TALK!?"


***

Sheamus was awaken when he felt... something hopping on its back. As if he wasn't injured enough, some little fan was jumping on his back, then he felt four pairs of feet jumping on his lower and upper back. How small are these freaking kids? He thought, he grunted and the four tiny children got off his back.

Why are their feet so... hard and... round? Sheamus groaned and mumbled a few words.

"Get... the... hell... off me." Sheamus tried to push off the ground with his arms but the pain flooding his body was to much to bear. Then he heard three high pitched voices yell something unexpected...

"IT CAN TALK!?" Sheamus was confused now.

Are you people stupid? Of course I can talk! Did I lose all of my teeth or something? And why it? I have a name you know!

Sheamus was even more confused when he noticed the ground under him. It was dirt... not a hospital bed or a stretcher of some kind... but dirt. Really? Did I die or something?

Sheamus was in immense pain but forced him self to sit up and take a look at his surroundings. He hazily opened his eyes to the blinding light of the sun. The light died down and he took in the scenery. Sheamus widened his eyes and gave a small gasp. Why is everything... animated?

Everything animated, he saw a tree house, surrounded by more trees, a large crater and grass, animated grass. Sheamus looked down and saw... three tiny, colorful, animated horses. Sheamus bounced to his feet still in his tights, he backed three feet away with a single hop, the horses were only half way up his shin. He thought this was all strange... to say the least.

Sheamus was about to punt one of them from panic but the small white one spoke up.

"Um, hello mister..." Sheamus put his foot back on the ground and looked at them in shock. "My name is Sweetie Belle," She paused and pointed to her fellow companions. "And this is Scootaloo and Applebloom." The other two waved their hooves nervously. They can talk!? He thought.

Sheamus just looked confusedly at the three, he had to introduce himself it was only polite, and he didn't want to seem scared over three tiny horses, but he didn't want to give his real name to potential rapist's, so he went with the only name he could think of, his ring name.

"Uh... ma name is S-Sheamus..." The three smiled, but before he could do anything, something hit him in the leg... hard. He bent down on one knee in pain, he turned to face his attacker, a somewhat larger orange horse with a stupid looking stetson on it's head. Sheamus stood back up in anger and glared at the horse, then it spoke too.

"Applebloom, run a'll handle this." It had a strong southern accent. Sheamus stood up fully, completely towering over the determined horse.

"Listen, ah don' want to hurt ya, you look so cute, but if ya hit ma one more ti-" He was cut off when the horse kicked him right in the shin. Sheamus felt his leg slip from under him as he fell. The orange horse smiled smugly and spoke again.

"What was 'hat sugercube? Ah couldn't hear yah." Sheamus stood up quickly, he took a few steps back before running and punting the horse straight in to a tree, it flew like a bullet. Sheamus let a small smile crawl on his face, but stopped when he heard the sound of a small child crying he turned and saw the small yellow horse crying.

Aw, shes so cute! He thought to himself. The orange and purple one was putting a hoof over her mouth so the yellow one couldn't see her smile, she obviously thought it was funny, while the white one glared at her.

He wanted to go to the crying horse and tell her it was all the other horses fault, but he was knocked down when something smacked his head... with a lot of force. He fell to the ground belly first, he rolled over too see a Rainbow horse who was... flying in front of him? Flying? These fucking things can fly?

"Let's go you big bully! Your about to get your flank kicked!" Sheamus chuckled, it was funny how they thought they could beat him up.

"Really? I mean really? I'm four times the size of you." The horse gave a vicious glare before speaking.

"You don't look so tough!" She yelled.

"Says the walking 'Gay Pride Flag'!" Sheamus bent his knees and got in a position for a Brogue Kick.

BROGUE KICK!

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Sheamus attempted a Brogue kick, he lunged forward reaching his foot in the air where the annoying rainbow horse was flying. His foot seemed to go through her as his foot came back down. He looked down at his victim, but she wasn't there!

"Too slow!" He turned and saw a very confident flying horse with a smug grin plastered on her face. Sheamus let out a groan of frustration.

"Since when da herses faukin smile!?" He lunged out again but with a fist this time, almost striking her tail as she dashed about two feet to the left, she smiled again before raining five quick punches on his chest. Sheamus could take it, it did hurt, but he has been punched by Big Show, this cupcake ain't got shit on him. Sheamus grinned evilly as he quickly grabbed her tail, she tried to squirm from his grasp, but to no avail.

"Give up, Barbie?" The horse just tried to squirm out of his grasp, she bucked his chest, knocking the wind out of him. His grip loosened a tad, but he quickly grabbed on to the tail with his other hand.

"You're goin' ta haf' to try harder then that, fella." He pulled her towards him and put her in a headlock before attempting to put a stop to this peacefully, no one wanted to hurt adorable little ponies.

"Now, are ya goin' ta stop fightin'?" Sheamus asked calmly, hiding his anger, no response from the horse. "Ah don' wan' hurt ya." The horse turned while still in his grasp and glared venom at him. She replied in the harshest voice possible.

"BUCK YOU!" Sheamus was confused for a second.

Buck you? buck... duck... fu-... oh you dick! He thought. Sheamus yanked her tail, forcing her to the ground violently, he grabbed her again. this time in a side-headlock. Before talking again, more loud and angrily.

"Ya mind runnin' that by ma again?" The horse turned to face him and glared even more viciously then last time. She responded in a loud raspy voice.

"Buck... YOU!" Sheamus tightened his grip around her neck, whilst rotating her around in to a normal headlock, he lifted one arm and cuffed his hand around the armpit, his arm still on her throat.

"That's 'nough outta ya, time to go to... sleep." He smiled wickedly as he tightened his grip, the little horse was flailing around uncontrollably, as he got her throat more exposed, she let out a few gurgles. The horse started to flail less and less until she became limp, she let out one more grunt before passing out.

Sheamus smiled, content with his work he decided to take in his surroundings. His eyes came upon three smaller horses cowering together, two of which crying in their embrace, the orange one was trying to be brave and let go of the other two. He frowned, they were just so adorable! Sheamus approached the small colorful horses and spoke up.

"Uh, ah am not to good with this stuff, but uh... sorry for almost killin' yer friends? Ah was jus' defendin' ma self." The orange one smiled slightly as she spoke up.

"As long as it was self defense... that was pretty cool, I mean you were just like BLAOW and then BAM!" The little horse was punching the air for emphasis of the sound effects. The other horses just looked at her, they glared at her like she was some sort of criminal. The orange one shrugged and replied in a high apologetic type voice.

"What? That was pretty cool! Besides they hit him first, I mean Applejack just bucked him for no reason!" Sheamus rubbed the back of his head and nervously laughed. He wanted to be on the side of the only horses who didn't attack him. He needed to choose his words carefully.

"Uh, sorry, Ah didn't mean no harm... Ah was just defended ma self." The other two seemed to calm down, their eyes widened as the three yelled in unison.

"LOOK OUT!" Sheamus stared confusedly at the three, until what felt like a blunt object struck his head. He fell down to one knee and held his head. Another strike slapped his back, it felt like being hit with a kendo stick during a No DQ Match. He heard a strong southern accent yelling at him from behind.

"HOW. ARE. YA. STILL. CONSCIOUS!?" The voice said between strikes, Sheamus quickly rolled over on to his behind to get a look at his attacker. It was the orange horse from last time, what a surprise! She was holding a long, thick tree branch.

Sheamus got to his feet and started to dodge strikes half of which hitting his shins or calves. "AH! FAUK! FAUK! FAUK!" He said at each time one of the swings hit him. Eventually he sidestepped a swing, and the horse dropped the stick, she struggled to fit the stick between her hooves, it kept slipping, considering she had no fingers. Sheamus saw the opportunity and went for the Brogue Kick. He did his usual skip with his left foot and his right in to the horses head. The horse flew ten feet strait in to the same tree, whilst being knocked unconscious as the boot connected with her skull.

"Damn, fella, these herses don' know when ther' outmatched!" He turned to see the three small horses again, each had mixed reactions. Scootaloo gave a smile of approval, Sweetie was face palming or face hoofing I guess? And Applebloom's jaw was agape as another tear fell from her eye. Sheamus didn't know if he should smile or frown, because honestly it was satisfying booting that stupid horse in the head.

"So, girls... uh, what now?" Sheamus gave a nervous smile, Scootaloo and Sweetie were deep in thought, while Applebloom stared wide eyed at the orange horse, he didn't bother to deal with the yellow one this time.

Then Sweetie raised her hoof in the air, she started to shake it excitedly in the air. "Ooh! Ooh! We could get Twilight!" Scootaloo seemed to brighten up at the idea.

Sheamus rubbed the spikes in his hair out of confusion. "Who's Twilight?" A purple glow surrounded his body as he was lifted in the air, he wasn't able to move. The three horses smiled and pointed behind him.

"That's her!" They said in unison. An angry looking purple horse started to approach them rather quickly.

"Girl's get behind me!" The crusaders exchanged glances of confusion.

"Why? Whats wrong with Sheamus?" Sweetie questioned, "Is it because he made Rainbow go to sleep and punted Applejack... twice? Because it was completely out of self-defense!" Sweetie said in a defending tone.

Why are all of the adults acting like cocks!? Sheamus thought to himself.

Mane Six

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Note: After losing my progress, twice… I finally have finished the chapter. I should have started on Gdocs in the first place.


***




Sheamus sat inside a massive tree, he assumed it to be a library.

The purple horse was asking a thousand questions a minute, before he could answer, the horse asked another quickly.

“What accent is that? What species are you? What do the markings mean on your tights?” Sheamus clenched his fists tighter. “What is your occupation? Is there magic where you are from?” Sheamus breathed deeply before answering in a loud clear voice.

“Shut. Yer. Faukin’. Mouth!” Twilight flinched at the rude comment, but shrugged it off. It happened fifty times on the way to the library. So she was somewhat used to it.

The crusaders sat boredly in the corner, Scootaloo and Sweetie wanted to talk to their new friend, whilst Applebloom grew annoyed how they could just accept him after he booted Applejack twice.

Sheamus breathed deeply before speaking, “Can ya slow the fauk’ down?” Twilight smirked.

“You think that’s bad? You should see my friend Pinkie P-” The horned horse was cut off as the door swung open, revealing five colorful ponies. Two of which Sheamus had already met.

The rainbow and orange horse glared venom at Sheamus, as expected. The yellow one with pink hair hid behind the rainbow one, the pink one was hopping excitedly with a massive smile on her face and the white one with purple hair had a small grin on her face.

The pink one rushed forward and stopped only a few inches from the purple prison Sheamus was trapped in.

“ILOVEMEETINGNEWFRIENDSANDYOUSEEMREALLYFUNIHAVENEVERBEENFRIENDSWI- THATALKINGALIEN!” Sheamus flinched and sighed, this was going to suck. The pink one inhaled but was cut off before starting another rant.

“Darling, I am dubious that he wants to be bothered by one of your signature rants.” The white one, slowly cantered towards Sheamus.

“My name is Rarity, charmed i’m sure.” Rarity did what Sheamus thought was the horse equivalent of a curtsy. He smiled, that accent was adorable, he had to admit. She was the cutest horse there, beside the crusaders. Sheamus made his voice as formal as possible, making himself sound like a gentleman instead of a Celtic Warrior..

“Ello’ madam, it is ma pleasure.” Rarity nodded and replied.

“Thank you, sir.” Sheamus smiled, Aw… shes blushing, so cute. He thought.

“Oh, please! Being the wonderful lady you are you must receive praise all the time.” Rarity’s blush deepened, he just wanted to see her blush again. It was so cute.

“My my, I must say what a wonderful accent you have.” Rarity said, seductively. Sheamus’ eyes widened. That sounded really hot. He thought. Rarity has some good tricks.

“Well, it definitely is not as beautiful as yours.” Rarity blushed fiercely, Sheamus couldn’t believe he was flirting with a fucking horse. He went this far, he wasn’t going to stop. Part of him was saying, Go for it! but the rest of his mind was telling him, You sick bastard.

“W-well, you are quite the flatterer,” Rarity glanced at his body before continuing, “You have a very built body.”

Perfect. He thought.

“I am a professional athlete.” He said proudly, Rarity seemed impressed. Before she could actually reply, she was pushed out of the way by a certain rainbow horse, who was soon joined by little Scootaloo. They both has girlish smiles on their faces as they looked up at him.

“What kind!?” They said in unison, Sheamus glanced at Rarity. She blew a kiss towards him, when she did that he could only think one thing. SCORE!

He turned his attention back to the two giddy horses by his feet, both waiting patiently.

“Wrestler.” he simply replied. Do they even got wrestling here? He thought.

All the horses in the room gasped, then the rainbow one replied. “Does it hurt?”

No shite! He thought.

“Yeah, but I can take it.” He said trying to flex his muscles as best he could in the magical prison. A collective amount of cartoonish gasps came from all the horses. It felt good to be a badass.

***

“and then, Daniel got on the top rope an’ went for the ax handle.” Sheamus was now out of his magical prison, telling stories about his matches. He was on the story about his best Brogue Kick, “He jumped and ah did ma usual skip and kicked him out of the air.” Applejack intensified her glare when he mentioned the Brogue Kick, she did receive one after all.

“Then what happened!?” Rarity said, her lady-like personality was gone. She was completely enthralled by the story. Sheamus smiled and leaned back on the couch he was sitting on.

“The ref counted, One. Two. Three, and I retained the World Heavyweight Championship.” The horses cheered, all letting out sighs of relief. He didn’t tell them who won beforehand. He was telling the story like he was on the radio explaining the match. It kept them all on edge.

If someone were to see the conversation from a distance, they would laugh. A six-foot-four three-hundred-sixty-seven pound man, telling stories to little horses hardly up to his knees. Three of them half that size.

The time had flown by, it was soon dark out. After his twenty-second story, Rarity decided to speak up, “Well, darling you are welcome to stay at my home. That is of course until you get home.” Rarity said the last word seductively, which made Sheamus giggle. A tad girlish.

“Why not?” Sheamus wanted to get home, but in all honesty he was enjoying himself. The horses seemed to like him, all but Applejack.

“YAY!” A high pitched voice piped up. “Rarity! Rarity! Does this mean he is my brother!?”

***

The group dispersed, Sheamus walking with Sweetie and Rarity. There was one thing on his mind, Was wrestling real here? After a long conversation with Rarity, he was convinced that wrestling here was infact real.

I wonder if they allow humans in their leagues. He thought, as a devious smile crossed his face.