O Mah God! Faukin' talkin' herses!
"Okay, Cutie Mark Crusaders, any ideas to get our mar-" Sweetie Belle was cut off by a loud crash sounding outside the clubhouse, they all jumped in fear. Scootaloo gulped before speaking up.
"Uh, what was that?" Scootaloo stood up and walked towards the door of the clubhouse, she opened it to see a large crater no more than ten feet from the ladder of the clubhouse. Scootaloo, out of curiosity, trotted to the ladder and climbed down straight in to the large dust cloud, waving her hoof around to clear her way.
"Scootaloo! Ya don' know what's down ther!" Applebloom yelled down at her friend, Scootaloo took no heed of what she was saying, she just continued through the dust. Applebloom and Sweetie cautiously walked to the balcony to see what it was. Scootaloo tripped in a pothole and face planted right on... something? Scootaloo raised her head to see a white, squishy texture, laid in front of her. She put her hooves on the... thing that she was now standing on. Scootaloo giggled before jumping on it repeatedly.
"Hey, guys! Get down here! This is like a squishy trampoline!" Sweetie and Applebloom shrugged and decided to climb down the ladder. They walked through the crater, stepping over rocks and potholes. Applebloom excitedly jumped right on the white thing, but Sweetie looked more closely and saw a pair of claws, a head, four legs, and orange hair. Sweetie's eyes widened as she screamed at her friends.
"Get off! Get off! It's an animal!" Applebloom and Scootaloo looked down at the creature, they let out a small squeak and quickly got off the being they were standing on. The animal let out a small grunt as it tried to push itself off the ground with it's forelegs, it fell back down with a hard *thump*. It groaned and started to mumble a few words.
"Get... the... hell... off me." It said well waving it's hand towards the crusaders. The three smiled widely, before all speaking in unison.
"IT CAN TALK!?"
***
Sheamus was awaken when he felt... something hopping on its back. As if he wasn't injured enough, some little fan was jumping on his back, then he felt four pairs of feet jumping on his lower and upper back. How small are these freaking kids? He thought, he grunted and the four tiny children got off his back.
Why are their feet so... hard and... round? Sheamus groaned and mumbled a few words.
"Get... the... hell... off me." Sheamus tried to push off the ground with his arms but the pain flooding his body was to much to bear. Then he heard three high pitched voices yell something unexpected...
"IT CAN TALK!?" Sheamus was confused now.
Are you people stupid? Of course I can talk! Did I lose all of my teeth or something? And why it? I have a name you know!
Sheamus was even more confused when he noticed the ground under him. It was dirt... not a hospital bed or a stretcher of some kind... but dirt. Really? Did I die or something?
Sheamus was in immense pain but forced him self to sit up and take a look at his surroundings. He hazily opened his eyes to the blinding light of the sun. The light died down and he took in the scenery. Sheamus widened his eyes and gave a small gasp. Why is everything... animated?
Everything animated, he saw a tree house, surrounded by more trees, a large crater and grass, animated grass. Sheamus looked down and saw... three tiny, colorful, animated horses. Sheamus bounced to his feet still in his tights, he backed three feet away with a single hop, the horses were only half way up his shin. He thought this was all strange... to say the least.
Sheamus was about to punt one of them from panic but the small white one spoke up.
"Um, hello mister..." Sheamus put his foot back on the ground and looked at them in shock. "My name is Sweetie Belle," She paused and pointed to her fellow companions. "And this is Scootaloo and Applebloom." The other two waved their hooves nervously. They can talk!? He thought.
Sheamus just looked confusedly at the three, he had to introduce himself it was only polite, and he didn't want to seem scared over three tiny horses, but he didn't want to give his real name to potential rapist's, so he went with the only name he could think of, his ring name.
"Uh... ma name is S-Sheamus..." The three smiled, but before he could do anything, something hit him in the leg... hard. He bent down on one knee in pain, he turned to face his attacker, a somewhat larger orange horse with a stupid looking stetson on it's head. Sheamus stood back up in anger and glared at the horse, then it spoke too.
"Applebloom, run a'll handle this." It had a strong southern accent. Sheamus stood up fully, completely towering over the determined horse.
"Listen, ah don' want to hurt ya, you look so cute, but if ya hit ma one more ti-" He was cut off when the horse kicked him right in the shin. Sheamus felt his leg slip from under him as he fell. The orange horse smiled smugly and spoke again.
"What was 'hat sugercube? Ah couldn't hear yah." Sheamus stood up quickly, he took a few steps back before running and punting the horse straight in to a tree, it flew like a bullet. Sheamus let a small smile crawl on his face, but stopped when he heard the sound of a small child crying he turned and saw the small yellow horse crying.
Aw, shes so cute! He thought to himself. The orange and purple one was putting a hoof over her mouth so the yellow one couldn't see her smile, she obviously thought it was funny, while the white one glared at her.
He wanted to go to the crying horse and tell her it was all the other horses fault, but he was knocked down when something smacked his head... with a lot of force. He fell to the ground belly first, he rolled over too see a Rainbow horse who was... flying in front of him? Flying? These fucking things can fly?
"Let's go you big bully! Your about to get your flank kicked!" Sheamus chuckled, it was funny how they thought they could beat him up.
"Really? I mean really? I'm four times the size of you." The horse gave a vicious glare before speaking.
"You don't look so tough!" She yelled.
"Says the walking 'Gay Pride Flag'!" Sheamus bent his knees and got in a position for a Brogue Kick.
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As a fellow WWE fan, I'm giving this a thumb up on principle.
Now all we need is a RKO "out of nowhere", Sheamus running into the lime cart vendor in the town square, and Mayor Mare showing up to hold the whole thing in abeyance!
Hahaha this so funny sheamus is gonna win against rainbow dash Go Sheamus!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3470998 I was hoping to make this a series... lol
Like Randy Orton in Equestria. Randy is second best wrestler so he will be next.
3471003 Why wouldn't he? BROGUE KICK!
OMG NOT IN A BAD WAY BUT WHY
ARE YOU GOING TO DO RYBACK
3471019 It's freakin' Sheamus mate!
He is the Irish Chuck Norris! But better!
3471022 Randy is next!
Great story, onward to next chapter!
3471034 BROGUE KICK!
3471062 Woah! Woah! Slow down there high roller. Lets not get carried away, we all know Cm Punk is in fourth place.
Top 5:
5.Christian
4.Cm Punk
3.Edge
2.Randy Orton
1. SHEAMUS!!!
3471080 No, no definently not... My fav is Heath Slater!
Hey get off my computer Heath! Nobody likes you!
Sheamus! Not cool!
3471170 Applejack had it coming!
3471013 I like sheamus and all but he is not my fav. My fav is Goldberg but hey all I care about is that this is funny
With a couple recent exceptions, I haven't seen an episode of Raw in years thanks to no longer being able to watch it on TV or online. Back then, DX was still trolling Mr. McMahon like no tomorrow, Ron Simmons was shouting 'DAMN!' to everyone, and Carlito was spitting in the face of people who don't want to be cool... Good times.
That all being said, while I don't know too much about this Sheamus character, I already like him. I know whatever you are going to go with this story, it's gonna be lodsa fun!
(speaking of Carlito, could you have AJ spit apple chunks at Sheamus? I'm sure you could make it work somehow)
3471218 meh.. Goldberg is good but do you remember Wrestlmania 28?
He won in 18 seconds!!!! Brogue KICK!
For some reason I find this gloriously retarded. That's a compliment. Procede.
3471243 Thanks!
I guess...
Ya I remember my friend likes him when I asked y all he said was that the only reason was he was from Ireland
3471257 I may be a fellow Irishman but it is not the only reason. Here are just 5 reasons he is awesome.
1.He has a sweet stache
2. The Brogue Kick is, in my opinion the best finishing move
3.He has really good mic skills
4.He is arguably one of the best attitudes in WWE right now. He can make people like or hate him by saying one sentence
5.He is a great performer overall.
Hell talking about this makes me can't wait for survival series the Big Show vs Randy Orton for the WWE championship
3471317 Yup! Lets go Orton!
I like Randy but with what Triple H put the Big Show through I have to go with the Big Show
3471344 Randy took the opportunity he needed for the title. I mean when he first cashed in he didn't know about Triple H, soooo I still like orton.
3471356 true Randy did take the opportunity to cash in the money in the bank but during hell in a cell he took advantage of the situation after HBK did sweet chin music on Daniel Bryan I saw hesitation in HBK but I would of done the same thing if I saw my best friend high knee in the face
3471426 Well, wouldn't you? I mean I would use everything to my advantage. Randy would do anything to win, thats why I like him.
I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT A FIC LIKE THIS LAST NIGHT!!!
and personally, I like Ray Mistario (is that how you spell it? I don't even know)
However I haven't watched WWE in like 4 years........ No TV is a sad life...
OK now that you know that, I'm going to read this thing!
3471226 Ah, those were good times... you brought back some good memories.
You had me at punting aj
Oh god that was funny!
don't get me wrong, I love Applejack she's best pony, but it's just so funny! Like how he thinks he can beat Rainbow because she is smaller then him but that's probably what The Big Show thought about him and look what happened with that.
This is a wonderful story, I'm really liking it. I can't wait till he meets Pinkie!
3471721 HA! I just thought about pinkie when you said that! Oh, don't worry I got something juicy for all of them.
I lost it when he punted Applejack
God damn this is great
3471074 This is awesome.
I love the ending.
Gay pride flag. XD