The Dreaming Storyteller

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I once read somewhere that when you find something wonderful, something that you can't live without, you aren't really aware of how important it is until you feel it's absence. I don't really remember where I read that, and I don't care that much. All I know is that I agree wholeheartedly with that assessment. I suppose you are at least slightly curious about who I am and what in Tartarus I'm blabbering on about. Well, I'm a young stallion, almost able to be considered an adult, though I still have a fair amount I need to learn. I was born in Ponyville 17 years ago, and I have yet to move from that town. I've lived with my mother, father, and brother in our second house since I was born. We had to move from our first because of a few problems with the walls letting large amounts of moisture in. As for my name, I'm Stinging Nettle.

I like to think that my name represents my somewhat nasty personality. Don't get me wrong, I'm a perfectly nice stallion when I like you. If I don't like you, then there can be some pretty nasty words spoken, and depending on circumstances, a really nasty action to accompany the words. A good example, I was in a rather foul mood, and one of the local school bullies whom I detested every cell of, pushed me to the side as he passed. I did not approve, to say the least. I admit, I could have reacted a bit more intelligently, but given the circumstances of what was going on that day, I didn't really have a clear head. I attacked him. He got detention, I got suspended for a week.

Now, while I'm sure that's all very interesting and all, I want to get to the point I made a second ago; The thing you care about being absent. Well, in my case it's a pony. A young unicorn, a few months younger than I am. I would just give you the gist of what's going on, but I haven't talked about this nearly enough to anypony. I'm going to give you every little detail that I can. Even with my rather profound lack in writing talent, I just want to make sure I get this out of my system. It's been bugging me for too long now. And now I'm rambling, and procrastinating against the point. Go figure.

Well, I guess it only makes sense that I just tell you the story starting from the beginning. This was maybe four, five years ago? Something like that.

<^><^><^><^>

5 years ago, I found myself sitting at my desk in the Ponyville school. Cheerilee was up in front of the class giving some lecture that I can barely remember. I don't even remember what class it was for. What I did know was that a friend of mine, Heartfelt Waltz was going to be holding a meet-up between me and fellow aspiring writers of the school to collaboratively tell a story. At this time, I wanted nothing more than to be a writer. I loved reading, and wrote the occasional story when the muse struck me. None of them were good, but whatever. That's in the past, and not the point of what I'm talking about. Waltz was a great storyteller, though she liked to incorporate elements from other things into it. Either way, she told good stories, and liked to get everypony else involved.

Our typical formula is we'd each invent a character, and take turns deciding the actions of the various characters, jotting down our ideas, and passing them to the front. Each pony got 3 pages to work with for their turn, with limited control over the other characters. When I say limited, I mean it had to be approved by the creator of the character if it was dialogue, and everyone if it was a story-important action or effect. Anyways, the class went on, and eventually wrapped up. I grabbed my stuff and made my way to Waltz's house.

The house eventually came into sight. The second story window that I knew lead into Waltz's 'meeting room' (Really, it was just her bedroom) had light shining from it, indicating that the rest had already arrived. I checked my small saddlebags, making sure that I still had my quills, ink, and paper. If I ran out Waltz would supply more. She was very generous like that. Either way, I stepped up to the door, ran a green hoof through my unkempt, long brown mane, and knocked. A few moments later, the door opened, revealing Waltz herself. She wasn't as tall as I was, had a dark, midnight blue coat, and a silver mane. It was kind of an interesting contrast, really.

“Hey, Nettle! Glad you could make it. How was the assignment?” she asked.

“Eh,” Was my response. At this point, I'd been home schooled for most of my life. Therefore, I was still getting used to interacting with ponies, both outside of my family, and inside of my age group. She tilted her head at me. She was much more used to the social scene than I was, and also had a bad tendency to over-analyze reactions.

“You seem a little out of it. You OK?” she asked me. I nodded.

“Yeah, just wasn't a very fun day. Is everypony else here yet?” I asked, taking a questioning step forwards, asking silently for permission to enter. She nodded and stepped aside, letting me in.

“Yes. We're only waiting on one other. Head on up. I'll stay down here until they show up,” Waltz said with a strange smile on her face. I knew that look; she was hiding something, and it was fun for her to keep it hidden. She gave me that look at my birthday party when she gave me my present. Whatever, I thought. If she wants to hide something, I'm sure she'll reveal it shortly, and it'll be a pleasant surprise. I made my way up the stairs. Taking a left at the top, I entered into Waltz's room. OK, headcount time. Teal Buckler was here, Violet pedal was here, as was Brimstone.

Teal buckler was a teal color, with a cranberry colored mane, with little streaks of dull grayish blue in it. Violet pedal had a fitting violet coat, and a lavender mane. Brimstone was the youngest one here, and had a gray coat, along with a red and yellow mane. Wait... that meant we were all already here. It confused me. Who could we possibly be waiting on? All of the members of my circle of friends was already here.

“Hi folks. Anypony know who we're waiting for?” I asked.

“Not a clue,” Buckler replied, walking up to me. We hoof-bumped really quick, and then I turned to Brimstone, who shrugged.

“I don't know the name. I just know that Waltz is pretty excited. Supposedly she's bringing in a good storyteller,” Brimstone confirmed, shrugging. I nodded slowly and looked out the window of the room. As I did, I spotted a white unicorn mare, looking about as old as I was, trotting slowly up to the house. My mind kicked into gear, and I quickly put two and two together.

“Well, whoever it is, she's here, I think,” I replied. She was a snow white color, with a long, flowing blue mane. It was a nice sight, honestly, even from this distance and with my poor eyesight. At this point in my life, I really didn't look for attractive features. I wasn't interested in the dating scene or anything like that as all I ever saw happen in it was a lot of garbage and drama. I snapped myself back to reality as Violet came up next to me.

“Pearly white unicorn with a blue mane?” she asked, to which my reply was a sharp nod. She smiled slightly. “Ah, yes. I’ve seen her around the schoolyard before. I think she just moved here a few weeks ago,” Violet said, leaning forward towards the window slightly. I turned my gaze back to the rest of the room. It was fairly neat, with a bed in the corner, a desk opposite of it, and then the long table with six chairs around it. The walls were plain and simple. I heard the door open downstairs, and some words were exchanged.

I couldn't make them out, however. I didn't try to listen in as I was more focused on trying to remember if we were starting a new story or continuing an old one. I supposed it would make sense to start a new one, given that we were bringing in a new storyteller. Whatever the case, the door popped open and Waltz walked in, followed by the white Unicorn who was smiling pleasantly. It was actually a very warming smile to see, now that I think about it. I am not sure what, but there was just something to that smile that got to me.

Waltz smiled and rested a hoof on the white Unicorns shoulder. “Everypony, welcome the newest edition to the group! Twinkling Swallow!” She gave Swallow a friendly smack on the back, causing Swallow to jump slightly. She was nervous. “Go on and say hi.” Waltz urged, gently pushing Swallow forwards a bit.

Swallow smiled at us, “Hello, there. I'm Twinkling Swallow. I was told by my new friend, Waltz, here that you were all aspiring writers who work to help each other. I am a writer, too, and am hoping to help each of you out, and be helped myself.” She smiled at the lot of us, but said no more after that. Something stirred in me, a compulsion to introduce myself.

“I'm Stinging Nettle. Don't let the name fool you, I'm a pretty nice guy, usually. It's a pleasure,” I said in a friendly tone. That seemed to get the others to introduce themselves as well.

“I'm Teal Buckler. Very nice to meet you, Swallow.”

“Violet pedal, but you can just call me Violet.”

“Brimstone, nice to meet 'cha.”

It was essentially 'Get to know the newcomer' time. We spent maybe twenty or thirty minutes just talking to Swallow about various things. Eventually we settled in around the table to begin the session of telling the story. I was assigned to be Swallows 'coach and instructor'. It was my job to make sure she knew what she was doing. It took a few minutes when her turn came around, but she caught on quickly. We had started a new story. We were young, and very creative.

We began off with Brimstone setting the scene; A realm called “The void” being our starting point. The void was a realm divided into three factions who constantly warred with each other. Two of these factions, after a long standoff against each other for control of an area, sent in their very best warriors to do battle in a special arena to decide who should claim the area. I took the reigns here, detailing the battle, mostly. I always had a knack for fight scenes, especially when they had really ridiculous levels of power.

Next up, Violet connected the two warriors by a common enemy. This common enemy's Void-swimmer attacked the arena, causing the two warriors to have to fight their way out and flee. After, Waltz had some characterization between them on the Void-Swimmer that the warriors found. Then, Buckler followed up with a scene of the duo landing in the capital city of the third nation to try and communicate a cease-fire.

Swallow took the reigns here, and told of how the common enemy arrived shortly after and did battle with the two warriors. We continued with this particular pattern. We eventually stopped as the sun was setting outside with the two Warriors splitting up to try and find the 'Avatars of the Elements.' Now, given when I'm writing this, you may think 'Elements of harmony.’ Well, that's wrong. Its the universal elements of nature. Completely different thing. This was still three years before the Elements of Harmony were to be rediscovered by Twilight Sparkle and her friends.

Either way, we quickly compiled our sheets into a stack which Waltz put away, for reference when we met up next week, and proceeded for the door. Swallow glanced about as we stepped outside. Farewells were exchanged as everypony began to go their own ways. As I was turning to go my own way, I heard hoofsteps behind me. When I turned to look, I saw Swallow following me. I hesitated then, as did she. An awkward silence hung there for a second. I was the one to break the silence. “There uh, something you need? I mean, I gotta get home soon or my parents will object,” I said. Swallow nodded.

“Well, my house is in the same direction, though it's further off. I was wondering if I could talk with you along the way?” she inquired, a slight tilt overcoming her head as she looked at me, almost curiously. I hesitated. I had the bad tendency to over-think other ponies’ intentions. She stepped a little closer. “Please? I'm still trying to learn about this town.”

“Uh... Sure, why not?” I finally settled on. I gave her a smile as she trotted up next to me. My house was about ten minutes away, so that gave me ten minutes to answer any and all questions she may have had.

“So, what are the winters like here?” she asked after a moment. Oh, right. Winter was rolling closer, wasn't it? My birthday, which was only a month ago, was in the fall. So, that being said, winter was approaching. With that confirmed, at least, I began to wrack my brain for any information that could answer her question.

“Huh. Never been asked that one before. Well, they're cold, obviously, but I've never had to go out with anything more than a scarf even on the coldest of days. Snow gets pretty deep, but not so deep that walking is a problem. I'd say about.. hm... three inches, tops?” Swallow nodded, and got a thoughtful look on her face.

“So, what about the Winter wrap-ups? How do you usually get them done efficiently? I mean, every town has their own practices for it,” she inquired further.

“Ah. Well, this one may irritate you, seeing as you're a unicorn. Magic is not allowed when cleaning up winter, with the exception of the pegasi's passive abilities to manipulate the weather. You're horn will pretty much be forbidden if used for helping clean up winter," The deadpan look she was giving me was actually kind of amusing.I stifled a chuckle.

“Why is magic not allowed?”

“Earth pony tradition. This town was founded by earth ponies, and we are a very tradition-based community,” I explained, snickering after I was done. That face left quite an impression on me, I hope you realize. She nodded, deadpan expression being replaced by a much more neutral one. We walked on in silence for a moment with me awaiting her next question. One thing I found that always helped me set my mind straight on stuff and remember details was to interview myself. Just ask myself a bunch of random questions that related heavily to the topic.

It worked wonders on stories. Well, so long as I knew the right questions to ask. Anyways, Swallow followed up on her last question, “Any other traditions I should know about?”

“Well, were you here for the running of the leaves?”

“What's that?”

“I'll take that as a no.” I chuckled as she gave me another look. “Sorry. Anyways, the running of the leaves is an annual autumn event where the locals come together in a large race. The point is that the shaking from so many hooves will knock the leaves out of the trees. It could be considered a sort of 'autumn wrap-up', if you look at it correctly.” I explained. She nodded silently. We continued our walk in a peaceful silence for a long while. I don't know why, or, more accurately, I didn't know why at the time, but being able to walk home with somepony by my side for the entire way was very comforting. I just felt less pent up, less stressed. I like to think that it was this event that spurred me to take so many long walks with my brother later on in life.

Either way, we eventually reached the street my house was on. “You were pretty silent for a while there. Got any last questions?” I asked.

She nodded pleasantly.“Yes, though it's less about the town and more related to you yourself.” She confirmed with a nod. She turned to face me fully. “Why do you want to be a writer? Like, what inspired you?”

That question caught me off guard a little bit. “Uh... well... I'm not sure. I first started writing when I was six, believe it or not. About the same time my older brother started, now that I think about it.”

“You're brother wants to be a writer, too?”

“Yeah, but he's eons ahead of me. He's like, what, five years older than I am? Something like that. I read his first work when I was little, and I always kinda copied what I thought would be fun. So, I wrote the most pitiful piece of garbage ever to grace paper at the age of six.” I smiled when she laughed.

“Oh come on, it can't be that bad,” she said between snickers.

“Actually, it is. But I guess what inspired me was my brother. He inspires me in a number of ways, even if he and I don’t always get along. He wants to be a novelist of stories about the older days of Equestria. As for me, I just kinda write whatever hits me as a good idea,” I explained. She nodded, finally recovery from her light giggling. “So, what about you?” I asked.

“Well... I’ve always loved a good story. I guess part of why I want to write so much is because I find how simple it is to be the best part. It doesn't require a lot of training if you have the knack for it. You just need to know a few basic things: What you want to say, how to say it, and why you want to say it,” she explained.

“Example?” I inquired. She smiled, though somewhat sadly.

“It actually started with a dream. I had this dream one night, and it began a whole string of them. I still have them, telling an ever evolving story in my head. I learn a lot from these dreams, and well... Some of these things I never see reflected in the real world. I want to try and change that. I know I can't get rid of the negativity, but if I can at least be noticed by writing a good book that accurately conveys my point, maybe... just maybe... I can make the future generations more willing to do the right things,” she explained, then smiled at me. I took a moment to process that.

I wrote to tell a good story. She wrote to better the world around us. I smiled softly at her. “That's the best reason to write I've ever heard,” I admitted. She nodded happily. Before either of us could get in another word, however, the distant chiming of a bell began to go off. I was late in getting home. “Horse apples! Uh, I gotta go! Oh man, am I gonna get it now!” I said quickly. I quickly turned and galloped home. It struck me that I forgot something. But given how my parents could be about my curfew, I figured it could wait.

The sun began to set, and the moon rose as I entered my house to an irked look from my parents.

The Rain Is Oddly Fitting

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Alright, so I covered how I met her. I'm not going to give you every single detail of every single day as this story would be thousands of pages if I did. I'm simply going to cover the events that I deem important enough to include. Now, I did catch a little bit of crap from my parents, but not enough to really cause a problem. I was only a few minutes late, and they were understanding that I was a little distracted because I was talking to somepony. I spent that night sleeping and dreaming about some pretty unusual things, as was my duty. One thing about me; my dreams make no bucking sense. I don't even remember them most of the time, and when I do, the first words to leave my mouth after waking up are usually, “Well, that was weird”.

But whatever. The next few days were spent pretty normally. I spent a bit of extra time getting to know Swallow a bit better. I was rather happy that Waltz brought her into the group; her capacity for storytelling was incredible. It astonished me, really, how the words seemed to flow willingly from her quill onto the paper every time she wrote anything down. It was a simple, yet elegant form of writing that surprised me. She seemed to like talking to me a lot more than any of the other ponies I saw her with. She began to tell me stories about her dream world, as she liked to call it. It was, as she said, an ever evolving, changing, and advancing story in her mind. One dream would pick up where the last left off.

It quite frankly amazed me how in-depth these dreams could become. The story was far beyond what I could come up with on my own. Not everyone thought as such, though. Allow me to elaborate.

<^><^><^><^>

School had finally gotten out for the week, which was good. It was on Sunday that we had agreed to meet up next; some stuff had come up for Waltz, making our normal day of Friday a bit impossible. She didn't really tell us what, but eh. Gave me more time to get my characters back story worked out in my mind. A noise caught my ear, however. It sounded like laughing. -Not fun, happy laughter- but cynical, mocking laughter that caused the hairs atop my head to stand on end.

That's a thing; there are things that really anger me, but only if it directs itself in my direction. My hair prickling is almost like me becoming angry, without actually being angry. I don't feel angry, but I act much more like I am angry then otherwise. The reason my scalp was prickling here was pretty obvious to me. The laughter was coming from Diamond Tiara. Pardon the language, but that little bitch pissed me off. Still does, actually. I didn't know what she was laughing at, and I didn't care. I would have absolutely no part in it.

I maintained that train of thought until they came into my line of sight. My breath caught. Swallow was pressing into the ground in defeat, her ears lowered. Diamond Tiara was facing her, snickering snidely, as though she found the sight to be the most wonderful thing around. I knew she was a spoiled brat, and liked to pick on others, and I normally wouldn’t care. But she was picking on my friend. Diamond tiara didn't have her cutie mark yet, but that didn't stop her being an intolerable jerk to everypony else she viewed as being inferior in some way.

I didn't see Silver Spoon anywhere, so I figured she was off either bossing somepony else around, had a lot of homework, or was in some kind of trouble. I hoped it was the third. Either way, Diamond Tiara finished her irritating laughter to mock Swallow. “Really, you dream about that sort of stuff? Points for having an active imagination, but do you have these dreams simply because you've got no friends? So you dream them up?” My eye twitched. I'd never seen Diamond Tiara act this mean-spirited before, but I didn't really notice that at first. All that mattered to me was she had dared to pick on one of my friends. My first instinct was to charge Diamond Tiara and smash her face into the ground with enough force to break her snout so that she'd shut up. However, my logical side popped in, telling me that would cause more problems than it was worth.

As I approached, I could hear Swallow reply, “N-no! I have friends!” Damn straight! I stepped up next to her crouching form and glared daggers at Tiara. Well, daggers was an understatement. Try Broadswords.

“Diamond tiara,” I said as though in friendly greeting, though I kept my face in a scowl.

“Stinging Nettle. We never really get to talk much, do we?” Diamond Tiara replied, looking over at me instead, that cruel smile still plastered on her face. “Why is that? I've actually kinda wanted to talk to you a few times, yet you’ve always walked away.”

“Maybe that should be a hint,” I replied, venom dripping off every word. She looked taken aback by the way the words left my mouth, almost a growl.

“You were avoiding me?” she asked. I nodded sharply. She narrowed her eyes. “So why are you here, then? If You have been avoiding me, what brings you to me now?” I didn't answer her right away. Instead, I knelt down to Swallow.

“You alright?” I asked. Swallow nodded slowly. Tiara looked a little surprised. Now I answered Tiara's question. “Nothing brought me to you, specifically. You just happened to be right next to what I was drawn to.” Diamond Tiara gave me a deadpan glare.

“Then what brought you over here?” she asked. I stood back up and made the effort to put on a threatening stance.

“I was brought to the defense of one of my friends,” I replied, and my lip twitched upwards in a smirk as Tiara got a look of anger on her face. The anger on her features faded, replaced by a smug smile.

“Oh? I always knew that you liked the crazy ones, but I thought you at least had some sense.” She sighed, as though disappointed. I knew she was just trying to draw a reaction from me, so I opted not to say anything. “What? No counter? So you admit to it, then?” My eye twitched. She must have seen the movement because she pressed on. “Is she a part of your silly little writing group?” My brain stalled for a second. How the flying heck did she know about that? My muscles were getting tensed up. I was about done with this.

Diamond Tiara looked at me expectantly. When I made no reply, she lost her cool a little bit. Good, I was outlasting her. Her ears flattened back and her eyes narrowed. I was bigger than she was, and older by a couple of years, but she still knew how to push buttons. “You know, if you need to form a little committee about something none of you are really good at, then you should keep from poisoning the minds of those with real talent, like me!”

“So we can get better,” Swallow said suddenly. I winced. She gave Tiara a reaction. The exact opposite of what I was wanting. I was hoping that through silence she would get bored and leave us alone.

“Do you expect writing is going to be your special talent?” Diamond Tiara mocked. With the silence broken already, I now had the ability to speak my mind. I was pretty pissed right now. I just hoped Tiara took this next little bit to heart; it would be bad for everypony involved if I snapped.

“Tiara, I will warn you now. back. off!” I snarled, taking a step forward. She took a step back, suddenly looking a lot less confident than she did a moment ago.

“What, are you going to hit me?” Tiara asked.

“If you don't back the hay off, I'll do more than hit you,” I snarled, taking another step forwards. She took two steps back. She was being cautious.

“You'd hurt a lady?” she asked. That one sent me over the edge.

“Lady? You think you're a lady!? Oh, you poor wretch. You want to see a lady? Go and look at Rarity! SHE is a lady! You? I don't even know. But you are NOT a lady, and with an attitude like that, you never will be!” I was practically shouting when I was done. I had closed the distance between us rather quickly, and was now looming over her. “Now, get out of my sight!” Tiara scooted away from me, scrambled to her hooves, and galloped away without another word.

A moment later and I began to realize the attention our little squabble had drawn. There were a fair number of grown-ups here to guide their foals home who were staring at me with surprised looks. Normally I would not have cared. I didn't care actually. What I cared about was the individual I had been protecting had to see that. I slowly turned to look at Swallow. She was looking at me with wide, frightened eyes. My ears drooped of their own accord. I took a slow step in her direction. She backed away slightly. “Swallow...” I muttered, lifting a hoof in her direction.

Damn. I had made a new friend, and now I was scaring her away. All because I had lost my temper trying to protect her. The extended hoof began to shake slightly. I had so few friends; I didn't want to lose a single one. I felt my chest tighten and lowered my hoof, as well as my head. I was shaking visibly, now. I slowly closed my eyes, and wrapped myself up in my thoughts. I hadn't had a good reason to shed a tear in years. I was hoping to keep it that way, but that thope got shattered as a tear rolled down my left cheek.

I didn't hear her move. Somepony suddenly hugged me. Looking up Swallow wrap her forelegs around me. I froze. What was going on? “Thank you, Nettle. Just... try to keep calm next time, ok?” she whispered. I nodded silently.

<^><^><^><^>

Things were a little awkward after that. We started on our way towards our individual homes, but we stopped in a small park area to talk. I found myself sitting on a park bench, with Swallow beside me. Something had been bothering me since the incident with Tiara. “Hey, Swallow?” I asked. She looked towards me curiously. “What was Tiara bullying you over?” She lowered her gaze ever so slightly.

“It's... She used my dream world as a conduit to tease me,” Sshe explained. “Said that I had to dream up my friends.”

I sighed. “That Diamond Tiara's going to elicit a violent reaction one of these days,” I muttered. My own reaction bubbled back to the forefront of my mind. I lost my temper big time.

“I knew she was wrong, but it still hurt to hear her say that,” Swallow explained, and I nodded in response. A silence hung in the air for a moment. “Have I told you about the various characters in my dream world?” she asked. I shook my head.

“No. You've mentioned them, but I'm pretty lost on who they are,” I replied.

“Well, the one that Tiara heard about was Longbow. He's my best friend in the dreams. Kindest soul I've ever met, real or not,” she said. The next hour was spent with her just telling me about the various characters in her dreams. There were quite a few, and each of them was unique.

Obviously there was Longbow. he was the heart and soul of her group, helping out everywhere he possibly could, and giving his friends sound advice. He was quite talented with a bow, and was also incredibly brave. I imagine this was exaggerated, but apparently he fended off a dragon for a couple of minutes. How he fended it off was left unclear, so maybe it was through negotiating.

There was also a young filly named Summer Breeze. According to Swallow, she was like Longbow’s daughter, but was fully capable of handling herself. She was given some form of curse at birth which she was able to warp into more of a blessing, of sorts. I don’t know the specifics, but in the long run her abilities sounded nasty.

The third of the most notable of them was a griffon named Harclaw. Harclaw was basically the group’s warrior, specializing in melee and close quarters combat as well as intimidation. Swallow didn’t stay on the topic of him for very long, and I was able to pick up from her tone that she and him didn’t get along so well.

I stayed mostly silent, and just listened. Swallow eventually had to leave for her house, so we parted ways where we had the night before, with me remembering to say a proper farewell.

<^><^><^><^>

The following monday proved to be rather gloomy. The scheduled weather was much more miserable than I was expecting. It was so miserable that the lot of Students had to stay inside the school-house over the Midday-break. It was raining, and the sky crackled with lightning with the boom of thunder shorty after. I was busying myself with finishing up a math assignment. One of my natural habits was to constantly glance around myself. Nervous habit, more accurately. On one of these nervous glances, I saw Swallow. She was sitting in a corner, facing the room, head down.

At first I thought maybe she was reading or something, but when I noticed a distinct lack of a book, a red flag went off in my head. Something was up. I slowly got up and made my way over to her. The closer I got, the slower and quieter I became. She was trembling. Something was definitely up. I slowed to a full stop in front of her. “Hey,” I said softly. She winced, as if startled, but made no further response. That was not good. “You alright?” I asked quietly, drawing closer. She shook her head. “What's wrong?”

“It's...” She tried to say something, but the use of her voice caused it to crack, and she choked down a sob. Uh-oh. I sat down in front of her as the trembling began to get worse. She composed herself as best as I imagine she was able, and looked up at me. Her eyes were bloodshot, irritated, and had bags under them. She'd been crying. I noticed that her hair was in a mess instead of its usual well brushed self. “It's Longbow...” she managed with a whisper.

“What about Longbow?” I asked. Something inside of swallow seemed to visibly snap. Tears began to flow freely down her cheeks. By now we were drawing attention again. And again, I didn't care in the least. Swallow was in pain, and I wasn't about to be distracted from helping her.

“He's... Oh Celestia... He's dead.” She struggled with every word. Now I could see what was wrong. I'd come to understand that she could become very attached to things, even if they weren't real, and with something as involved as her dream world, It was easy for me to see how she could be grieving over this. Those dreams are pretty much her second life.

“I... I'm sorry to hear that, Swallow.” I said quietly. She was trying to keep her sobs quiet, but with the small size of the current room, plenty of others could hear her. Thunder boomed outside. I hardly even noticed, and likely wouldn't have if it hadn't been so loud. The absurdly loud noise caused Swallow to shudder violently. I reached out and pulled her into a hug. I wasn't usually the initiator of hugs, but this was different. She was suffering emotionally, and needed some comfort. I heard hoof steps approaching, but paid them no heed.

Turns out it was Miss Cherilee. “What's going on over here?” she asked with a hint of concern in her voice. I patted Swallows back as she buried her face into my neck.

“Swallow’s going through something very difficult right now,” was my reply. Cherilee sat down next to us, ears lowering slightly.

“I'll be fine,” Swallow said quietly, though it wasn't very convincing. There were no doubts in my mind that she'd get over it, but she needed a bit of time.

“Give her a few days, and I'm sure she'll be in a good mood again,” I said, giving Swallow another pat on the back.

“Do you need to head home? Relax a bit?” Cherilee suggested. I looked at Swallow’s expression as she lifted her face. It was tired looking. She sighed.

“I don't see the harm in it...” She muttered. She slowly stood, disengaging from my hug, before walking past me. I followed her movements. They were slow, sluggish, and easily identifiable as distracted. If she went out at that pace in this weather, she could very easily catch a cold. It wasn't raining when we showed up this morning, but I always brought may favorite coat with me. I always anticipated bad weather. It was a few moments later that Swallow was out the door.

“Uh, Miss Cherilee?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yes?”

“Can I go with her? I'll come back and pick up whatever I missed, but I don't want her to catch a cold. I don't think she brought a coat or umbrella, both of which I have in my saddlebags. At the rate she's going, she'll catch a cold, which will only make her feel worse,” I explained and requested at the same time. Cherilee looked at me thoughtfully for a moment.

“Alright, go with her. I'm holding you to your word.” I nodded my thanks, and trotted out the door into the rain after Swallow. She was almost out of the school yard when I spotted her, still trudging along.

“Hey, Swallow!” I called. She hesitated but turned to face me. I found my saddlebags and flipped open the left pouch, digging around for my coat and umbrella. My umbrella was a simple one, and could be extended and compacted. Further, it can also be mounted on a saddlebag for ponies without magic. I quickly retrieved my coat and began to put it on. It was a simple dark blue coat. I may be green, but my favorite color is dark blue. I then retrieved my umbrella and approached Swallow. “Here, take it.” I said, setting the umbrella down in front of her.

She looked at me, a confused expression on her face. “What are you-?” she began to ask.

“I'm not about to let a friend of mine walk out in the rain, not at your speed, and especially not without cover. Your also depressed, and I don't want you alone out here.” I explained. Her eyes lit up ever so slightly. This would be the first time I'd see her use magic. Her horns grooves filled with ocean blue light, which quickly expanded and enveloped her whole horn. It was a dim glow, but all the same it was there. I saw the magic wrap itself around the handle of the umbrella, and open it. She smiled weakly at me.

“Thank you...” She said. I nodded, pulling my hood up.

“Not a problem. Come on... Let's get you home.”

<^><^><^><^>

We walked in silence almost the entire way. I tried to stay under the umbrella while giving Swallow her space. She wasn't in a talking mood, so I chose to not speak at all. We eventually passed the street I lived on and continued. Eventually, we hit another street. It was somewhat better off than where my house was. And by that, I simply mean that the houses were somewhat bigger, and more fancy. Not to an extreme, not by a long shot, but it was noticeable.

She eventually lead me to one house in particular and stopped in front of it. She turned her eyes to me, and slowly drifted the umbrella over to me. “Here,” she said. “I'm home. Thank you.”

“You're welcome, Swallow.” I replied, taking the umbrella under my foreleg as it drifted over. “Just take it easy for a few days, okay?”

“Yeah.”

There were no further words between us. She simply stood there, looking at me, and I at her. It only lasted a few moments before she turned and headed up the cobblestone stairs to her door. She paused in front of them, and looked over her shoulder at me one last time. Something was in her eyes that I couldn't identify. She didn't give me enough time to properly take it in through the rain as she turned away, opened the door, and stepped through it. I stood there in silence for a minute, with the only noise being that of the rain battering everything around me.

I eventually turned away myself, put away my umbrella, made sure my coat was zipped up all the way, and then began the semi-short trek back to the schoolhouse.

The Shape Of The Family

View Online

The next week was pretty quiet between Swallow and I. We got in our conversations, but they were short and clipped. She was getting better, slowly but surely. However, it was easy to tell she wouldn't get over Longbow very easily. I didn't know what had killed him, but I did know that Swallow’s constant dives into her dream world were enough to keep his death on the forefront of her mind. I did what I could to keep her cheered up, and it was working, even if ridiculously slowly. Either way, I was glad I could be of help.

Diamond Tiara began to distance herself from me quite considerably, much to my pleasure. The only problem is that rumors were starting to spread like wildfire. Everypony knew I could be rude, cynical, and harsh if I didn't like the individual trying to talk to me, but the rumors took it a bit farther. I heard whisperings as I passed other foals, and I caught what some of them were saying. The most prominent rumor was that Diamond Tiara had joked around, and I smacked her down. Bogus, obviously, though I began to wish that had actually happened.

No rumors that way, only facts. I never had a particularly great reputation, and now it was getting worse. I didn't care all that much, but I did recognize that making new friends would be a giant pain now. Whatever the case, the next collaborative writing session was just around the corner.

<^><^><^><^>

It was a shame that Brimstone was not able to make it today. Being grounded sucked. The rest of us had made it no problem. By the time we had finished the day’s worth of writing, it struck 6 o’clock. Another hour or two and we'd have to wrap up. The void was in turmoil as the bonds holding the whole thing together were beginning to be erased by the resurrection of a long-forgotten deity. The Avatars of the Elements had all been captured, and the two warriors were now rapidly approaching their final confrontation.

I manipulated the quill in my mouth as I detailed the scene before the heroes. Swirling energies, floating rocks as big as a mansion, odd liquids flowing in streams that defied gravity. The heroes readied themselves as the final adversary dropped to their level, his red eyes glaring at them with cocky arrogance. They spread their stances, and attacked. And with that, I ran out of paper. “OK, Waltz. I didn't have any dialogue, but I had you're character join in a frontal charge on the enemy,” I explained as I shifted my three sheets to the front of the table where Heartfelt Waltz was seated.

She nodded, and read the pages out loud to everyone. Given that Brimstone was missing, the rotation of who went next was different today. After Waltz finished reading off my pages, she passed three pages over to Swallow. She looked at her sheets, and her face scrunched up in thought. It took her a little bit, then she grabbed the quill in a magic aura, dipped it in the ink, and began to write away. She did a good job using her forelegs to keep the work hidden; apparently, she didn't want anypony peeking.

I maintained my manners and decided instead to think over the story so far. It was turning out to be a pretty good one, the way I saw it. Of course, being one of its creators, that opinion could easily be considered biased. I was still proud of my contributions, whatever the case. It took several minutes, and some light whispering began to go around the table. Idle conversation to pass the time. I didn't take part, and instead glanced at Swallow. She was focused intently on her paper. The quill scribbled away quickly but carefully.

Whatever she was jotting down must have been pretty intense or she just really liked this part and had been planning it for a while. Whatever the case, Swallow finally sent her three pages up to the front. Waltz took them up and began to read. The battle raged on, and both warriors became horribly injured. The Deity laughed at their defeat, and readied himself for the killing blow. The warrior I had made suddenly felt a calm sense of peace. In what looked to be the end of everything, he summoned his remaining willpower, and called out to the spirits of friends long gone.

They swarmed the Deity, rendered his attack useless, and began to drag him down. In the last moment, the two heroes fused their souls, ripping them free from themselves, and imprisoned the deity forever in a stone prison. I wish I could remember exactly how it was worded; it is a horrible feeling for me to realize that I forgot. All I know is that the way it was worded touched me deeply. A beautiful speech was the entirety of the last page, and when Waltz finished reading, nopony spoke for a moment. Finally, Waltz smiled.

“I knew you had talent, Swallow, but...Dang, that was amazing,” Waltz said. Swallow nodded, smiling happily.

“Thank you. I saw an opportunity to emphasize that sometimes sacrifices need to be made,” Swallow explained. The others nodded in agreement.

“You did a fine job,” Buckler said.

“It was well said, I added. The group began to adjourn, with us deciding to take next week to let our creative sides reboot a little bit. We'd meet on Friday the week after. With all that decided, I excused myself from the now casual hangout. I stepped out into what was now winter air. The snows were scheduled to start pretty soon, as was Winter break. I wasn't really sure what I was going to do come winter break. I mean, I only ever got to hang out with my friends when I was at school, or at these meet-ups. Eventually, I heard the front door to Waltz's house pop open.

“Hey, Nettle?” I heard Buckler ask. I grunted my awareness of his presence. “You've been a little distant today. You alright?” he asked.

“Heh. Ever the perceptive one, aren't you?” I asked with an amused smile. Buckler shrugged as he sat down next to me.

“I just don't want you putting yourself away from us. If you're having any problems, we want to help.” Buckler explained, looking at me. I hesitated. Was I having any problems? I couldn't think of any. I mean, at this time, I was happier than I'd felt in a long time. So why did I appear or seem distant, as Buckler put it?

“I feel great, actually. I'm not having any big problems,” I answered, wracking my brain for anything substantial. I drew a blank.

“Small problems can add up, ya know,” Buckler said. True as that was, the only small problem I was having was the matter of those idiotic rumors. And even then, I really didn't care. Was there anything else? I thought it over a bit longer, and gave Buckler my answer.

“I'm not sure why I seem distant to you. I've got maybe one little issue, and that's the problem of rumors. But those aren't really bothering me, either,” I said, running over the day in my head.

“Rumors?” Buckler asked simply. I nodded.

“Yeah, I'm sure you heard them. That I attacked Diamond Tiara over a little joke.” I chuckled a little bit at the sheer absurdity of it all.

“And did you?” Buckler pressed.

“Someone will sooner or later, but it will not be me,” I replied. We were silent for a second. “Say, what am I doing to make me seem 'distant'?”

“You've been speaking in short answers, rather than your usual in-depth self. Further, you keep zoning out. Didn't you notice that you had to ask us to repeat ourselves?” Buckler explained.

“No, I didn't notice that,” I muttered, thinking it over. I did zone out a few times, now that he mentioned it. I followed my mental train track back to the last zone out to see if I could remember what I was thinking about. Oddly, I found myself remembering the sad expression that Swallow wore when we were at her doorstep. How she smiled at me with the expression I couldn't read or even see in the rain before she went inside.

It was odd to me. What was it about that face that mesmerized me so much? I mean, I usually kept my eyes to myself, and if I saw something that I deemed unimportant, I forget the mental image rapidly. But this? I was there, almost. At the foot of the cobblestone steps, in my coat and in the rain, Swallow in front of me, tilting her head over her shoulder to look at me. There was something in those eyes that I couldn't see. It was frustrating for me to see her through the haze of the rain, and not be able to identify the emotion through it all.

I could tell this much; It wasn't a positive emotion. It was something sad, something distracted. Like she was looking at something far away and wished she could get closer. I have no idea what she could be looking at. Her eyes simply reflected the haze shower of rain. Her eyes blinked slowly, and she began to turn away. I wanted to follow her, but something forbade me. Some invisible force held my legs still. The door began to close. The box through which I could see her got smaller, and smaller. She turned her eyes to me one last time, before the door closed.

“...Nettle!” Buckler said, somewhat loudly, and snapping me back to reality.

“Huh, what?” I asked, glancing around.

“You just did it again,” Buckler pointed out. “You got this really distant look about you, and you stared off into the distance, not even paying any attention to what I was saying.” He looked at me carefully, as though looking for any sign I wasn't being honest. “Stinging Nettle, are you sure you're OK?” I nodded.

“I think so. I just... something keeps distracting my thoughts,” I explained, rubbing the back of my neck.

“Care to elaborate?” Buckler pressed on diligently. He usually didn't let a matter go until he was satisfied with the received answer.

“Well... Do you remember on Monday, Swallow was really sad about something, so Cherilee let me guide her home so she could take it easy?” I asked, wanting to make sure we were on the same page before I began rambling. A slow nod was my reply. I took a moment before continuing. “Well, before she vanished from my sight through her front door... she looked at me. I saw something in her eyes, that I couldn't identify through the rain. Just... something about the look she gave me in that moment has me stumped,” I detailed before looking back over at Buckler.

He held his silence for a moment, pondering my words. “Maybe you're over thinking it?” he suggested.

“I already admit that I am over thinking it. I dunno why my mind keeps wandering back to that expression,” I said, growing quieter as I talked. The sun was beginning to set. I looked at the sun a moment. I asked something, then. Something that I'm not sure why I asked. It just kind of hit me, and came out of my mouth before I could really process what it was I was saying. “Why is she called Swallow?”

“What?” Buckler asked, tilting his head at me.

“Her name is Twinkling Swallow. Now, I get the twinkling part. Magic shimmers, shines, sparkles, twinkles, you name it. But... why Swallow? Don't get me wrong, it's a very pretty name, and I'm perfectly fine with it, but It's just not a name I'd expect be on a Unicorn, you know? A swallow is a bird, which says to me that the name Swallow would reflect being able to fly. It would make more sense to name her Swallow if she were a Pegasus.” I cleared my throat when I was done, then looked over at Buckler. He had this thoughtful look about him.

“I'm not sure. Maybe you should ask her?” Buckler suggested, to which I couldn't help but laugh.

“No. I'd feel like I was asking for her age, and that's rude,” I said between chuckles.

“And since when do you care about being rude or polite? You've always been pretty callous in my eyes,” he replied, raising an eyebrow in my direction.

“Oh, gee thanks!” I said, playfully swatting his shoulder. We shared a laugh.

“But seriously, why do you suddenly care about being polite?” he pushed on. I hesitated when I realized he wasn't dropping this one.

“Huh... I'm not actually sure. Maybe because she hasn't pried into my stuff, so I won't pry into hers? I mean yeah, I can be rude and calloused, but only if I dislike somepony. If I won’t know you, I simply keep my distance, and if I'm youur friend, then I don't dig my nose into your business unless I have permission.” I mulled over the words as I said them. Most of that was true. I occasionally forgot to ask if it was any of my business if my friends appeared sad.

“I guess that makes sense,” Buckler agreed. We sat there in silence for a moment.

“I've never really had a chat like this with my family,” I muttered.

“Oh?” was all that I heard from the teal pony sitting next to me.

“Yeah. They love me, don't get me wrong. I love them right back, but...” I sighed. “I don't always feel like I'm getting the sort of love and care a usual family’s foal would. I see at the end of each school day parents coming to take their young home, kissing their cheeks. I also see them saying “I love you” when dropping off their foals or when parting ways.” I looked down as I suddenly realized how depressing this was getting. “Do you know how long it's been since my parents said 'I love you'?” I asked.

“No,” was Bucklers only reply. I bit my lip.

“I haven't heard those words said to me by anypony for... a year or two? Something like that,” I said, my voice getting quieter as I went. How could I only just now realize this? I shook my head, but said nothing more. Buckler opened his mouth to say something, but a voice from behind cut him off.

“I'm so sorry to hear that...” Swallow said. I jumped in surprise and whirled around to see her walking up to us from Waltz's door. I opened my mouth to say something, likely to complain that she shouldn't sneak up on ponies, but my tongue held its place.

Buckler spoke instead, “Oh! Swallow. We didn't see you there.” Swallow nodded to him but didn't reply. Instead she walked up to me.

“Do you know why?” she asked me.

“Why what?” I requested.

“Why they haven’t said they love you in so long?”.

“Well... I guess because I already know they love me, and they know I love them back?” I cracked a guess and hoped it would be satisfactory. It wasn't.

“No, that's not good. If a family truly loves each other, they should remind each other every chance they get,” Swallow said, shaking her head rapidly at me. I frowned.

“Is there some kind of consequence for not saying so?” I asked.

“Of course. That love shared in the family could easily break if it isn't reinforced. Acting on that love is always a good thing, but suppose the one you're acting for doesn't see it that way? The proper response is to say thank you, but what if you say it not because you're actually grateful, but because the actions they took furthered you're own desires? A father could act for his son, make some sacrifice so that his son would be happy, and his son, if that love wasn't enforced right, may just bask in the benefits, without even a heartfelt thank you.” I paused. I wasn't really sure how much I agreed with her assessment.

“Nettle...” Swallow said in response to my silence. I looked up at her. “Promise me that when you get home, you'll give your family a nice big group hug, and tell each of them that you love them. Can you do that?” she whispered. I stalled for a second. “I don't want to see your family drift apart...”

“I...”

“Promise me,” she said firmly. I looked at her. I wasn't really the type to say 'I love you' to anypony, even my own family. Just came with them never saying it, I guess.

“Alright. I promise.” I said. Swallow beamed at me, and gave me a hug.

“Alright. I'll hold you to it. I gotta get going, sadly. I have somewhere I need to be in the morning, and gotta get some early sleep.” She said apologetically, and turned to go.

“I'll be seeing you,” I said. Swallow turned to look at me, her smile bright and cheerful. I felt my chest heat up a bit at the sight. Her smile was so adorable. She waved and galloped away.

<^><^><^><^>

About an hour later, I entered my house. My mother and father were nowhere in sight. My older brother, Obsidian Night (we just call him Noctis), was standing not far away, looking over his uniform which was hanging in the closet. He was a midnight blue color, with a dark brown mane and tale. He had recently gotten hired, and worked full time as a delivery boy. He was hoping to move out by the end of next year. He noticed me, but didn’t say anything. Noctis had always been kinda quiet when occupied. I figured I'd give him his space for now. Then, my promise to Swallow came back into my mind.

I promised a group hug, and my mom and dad were nowhere to be seen at the moment. “Noctis? Have you seen mom and dad?” I asked.

“Dad’s upstairs, Mom’s out picking up some dessert from sugarcube corner,” Noctis replied.

“Ah, we ran out again?”

“Yup.” A pause in our discussion.

“Do you have work today?” I asked.

“No, I got the day off today,” he said. Good, that would mean my whole family would be present. I smiled slightly. I hoped to Celestia this didn't get awkward. I put away the stuff in my saddlebags, and started up the stairs. My house wasn't very big, but eh. I took a left at the top, and moments later found myself in my dads 'office'. He worked as assistant manager at Quills and Sofas. My dad was a fiery orange earth pony with a red mane. He glanced up to me, and a smile spread across his face.

“Hey, Nettle,” he said happily.

“Hi. You gonna be busy tonight?” I asked.

“Not really. Why? What's up?” he asked.

“I was, uh, hoping to talk to you, mom and Noctis after dinner,” I said, suddenly feeling nervous.

“Of course. What about?” he asked.

“That's for after dinner,” I said with a smile. My dad chuckled merrily.

“Alright, mister secrecy, we'll do this your way,” he said. I nodded happily to him before heading back out. I headed back down the stairs and looked to Noctis. He was a unicorn, which was really helpful for his line of work. Still, it made him more flexible than me, and it was kind of saddening occasionally. I always felt inferior around him. It also doesn't help that he has such a cool name. I mean come on, Obsidian Night? That's awesome if you ask me. We also use Noctis as his nickname because it seemed to fit him.

When he was younger, he always called himself 'Lord Noctis', just for giggles. I averted my gaze. He had so much more potential then I did, now that I thought about it. He had magic, for one. Further, he was much more coordinated; he was stronger, faster, more level-headed. Heck, his ability to tell a good story far surpassed my own. I was a little jealous every now and then. I still love him like a brother should, don't get me wrong. I just don't always appreciate being the lowest one in terms of capability.

I sat down in a chair and grabbed a book from the nearby book-case. I'd read this one before. A good story, but a little slow paced. Still, I settled in to pass the time until dinner.

<^><^><^><^>

My mother, a light blue unicorn with a mane of rose red, came home after a little while. She had brought a dozen cupcakes to serve as desert for the next few days. She and I didn't say much, other than a simple greeting. Soon, dinner was served. I don't remember what we were having that night; I barely touched it. My mind was busy psyching up for what I was going to do once everypony else finished eating. They talked about various things occasionally, including a congratulations on Noctis' new job. I didn't say anything as I tried to figure out how to best go about this.

I was over thinking the heck out of it, now that I look back on it. I was snapped out of my thinking by my mother commenting on my silence. “Nettle, dear, are you okay? You haven't been saying anything.”

“Uh, yeah. Just... thinking...” I muttered. I got some concerned looks from my family. I sighed. “Okay, I guess it's about what I want to talk to you all about.”

“Well, let's hear it,” Noctis urged. I nodded slowly, standing from my seat.

“I guess I shouldn't put this off,” I said. My family looked somewhat concerned after I said that. “Come on, everypony up,” I said, giving an 'up' motion with my hoof. Noctis rose slowly, Mom was up rather quickly, as was dad. I walked a little ways to the side, to a somewhat more open area. “Over here,” I urged softly. Noctis, my mother, and my father slowly approached wordlessly. Soon, we had a small circle.

I smiled softly as I realized something. A family is like a shape. For it to be whole, you need all of the points, and all of the points need to be connected. I looked to each of my family members. Noctis had a sort of calm concern about him. Mom and dad each looked a little confused, but mainly worried. I swallowed the lump in my throat. It was now or never. I lifted my right foreleg first, draping it over my dad's shoulders. I did the same to Noctis. I looked to mom expectantly. She edged forward, seeming to get the gesture now. Within moments, the four of us were in an embrace.

Here we go.

“I love you...” I said. I didn't receive an immediate response. “We don't say that nearly enough...” I continued quietly. The silence began to get to me. Finally, though, My father spoke.

“We love you, too,” he said. I smiled, but just had to ask.

“And everyone else, right?”

“Huh?” My mother asked quietly.

“Every member of this hug loves every other one. We're a family. We can't let that fact slip away from us,” I said. I heard my mother sniffle slightly. We just sat there for a long time, I don't know for how long. I committed this memory to heart. I will never forget that moment. Noctis remained oddly silent, but was just as sincere in the hug as everypony else. And so there we sat as a full family. For the first time in about two years, I realized, I felt loved. I knew it was there, but I had forgotten what it was like to simply express it.

We eventually separated. I don't really remember what happened next, but I do know the house was respectfully quiet. Eventually, I found myself in my bed, lying there, slowly drifting off to sleep. I remembered what Swallow had said, and connected it to my analogy from earlier. The love of a family could easily break. The points not being placed, or a line not being drawn. And the whole picture is incomplete If you are missing even one line or point. A point is worse to be without.

You see, the points are the ponies in the family. The lines represent their bonds. It is more desired to simply have family members lose contact or bonds, then to remove one completely from the picture. The shape would be forever broken in an irreplaceable way. Even if somehow you managed to find a substitute dot... It just won't be the same.

I'm happy that Swallow opened my eyes to that.

The Jeering Raven

View Online

Things were rather cheerful in my house the next day. I didn’t have any plans on what to do, so I just slouched about for a long while, reading a book. I knew where it was that Swallow lived, and wanted to let her know that I had fulfilled my promise, and that it went well. The big problem with that is I didn’t know her parents, and she had told me they were kind of over-protective. Apparently, her father was worried that every colt that came knocking at their door was only into one thing, and I won’t really go any further on what that may be. Based on that, I’m sure you can guess. Whatever the case, I didn’t feel like having to go through those steps, and simply decided to wait until Monday.

I began to develop an odd nervous energy that day, though. I couldn’t help but pace all over the house, or shift in place. I just couldn’t hold still. My parents began to complain about the movement ‘Making them nervous’ or something. I never really got why, but oh well. Eventually, I stepped outside and went for a walk. I wasn’t really one for walking; I didn’t see much of a point at the time other than exercise, which I could always play-wrestle with my brother for. Either way, my mind wandered, as did my hooves…

<^><^><^><^>

“Good afternoon!” a yellow colored mare with a blue and pink mane greeted. I nodded with a smile and continued my brisk movement. I wasn’t in a hurry by any means, but my normal walking speed was always kind of fast. The town was pretty chipper today, I realized. I saw many foals running around, playing. I saw adults talking to each other and going about their business. I soon found myself walking through the market stalls. Not all of them were open, obviously, but the ones that were open were fairly relaxed instead of their usual business like self. I wasn’t paying attention, sadly, and bumped into a foal that was running in front of me as I walked.

We both let out an “oof” at the force of the impact, and we both collapsed onto the ground. I glanced up to see who I bumped into. It was Brimstone, actually. She was rubbing her temple, no doubt trying to dispel her likely newfound headache. “Sorry about that,” I groaned as I stood up. She looked up at me with a forgiving smile, and the smile widened as I held out a hoof to help her to her own.

“No worries. Sorry I couldn’t make it to the session yesterday,” Brimstone said as she got up.

“You are forgiven,” I replied, earning a snicker from my overly dramatic way of saying it.

“You can be very amusing, did you know that?” she asked.

“Yes, I know. I aim to be amusing,” I began my walk again, and Brimstone fell into step next to me. I looked over at her. “So, what’s on your agenda for today?” I asked curiously.

“Well, I just got some apples for my mom. I should actually head home. We’re planning on going to a performance in town hall later,” she answered, looking towards the street her house rested on. I knew Brimstone lived fairly close to the markets, so I nodded.

“Alright, go ahead.” She nodded and trotted off, waving as she went. I began down a random street and started to roll some things over in my mind. My little scene with my family came back to the forefront of my mind, and I felt that familiar warmth drift into my chest. As I walked, my mind wandered from memory to memory. And yet, these memories began to drift rapidly into sad memories. Painful memories. Memories I wish I could have forgotten. The day my grandfather passed away came up the hardest. I’d stopped crying about that a long time ago, but it was still unpleasant to think about. My mind flicked to the last time I saw him. All of his fur having grayed out, going dull and monochrome. His eyes closed as he slept, his chest rising and falling raggedly. It pained me to see all those years ago. I remember my mother trying to convince me that he wasn’t going to make it. She wasn’t going to lie to me, but she told me as carefully as she could.

There was no “He’s gone away for a long time” or anything like that. I wasn’t a stupid colt (though I had my moments). I knew he was dying, but I denied it with every fiber of my being. I swore he would survive, and deluded myself with visions of playing games with him again. I envisioned him walking into the front door of my house for a visit, and giving me his warm hug. I believed that he would live.

Oh how I was wrong.

<^><^><^><^>

I remembered being allowed to sleep in rather late one day. I didn’t really give my grandfather a whole lot of thought the night before. When I finally awoke the following afternoon, the house was quiet. Coldly quiet. I could feel it in my bones that something wasn’t right. Dad found me in the hall between my bedroom and the family room, and guided me to the latter. I remember that he only said one word. “Come”. It was softly spoken. My mother was not in the house since she had been at my grandparents house.

I saw Noctis sitting on the couch. The furniture had been rearranged slightly. The couch was directly opposed by one of the chairs. I slowly sat down in the chair as my Dad sat down next to Noctis. He looked down between his hooves and sighed. His mouth opened and closed a few times, before he finally spoke. “Son, I… I know this won’t be easy for you…” At those words, I could feel that familiar feeling. Where you know what’s about to be said, and you’re already feeling the emotional reaction behind your senses.

“What happened?” I asked. Dad shuddered slightly and looked to Noctis for support. Noctis urged him on silently.

“It’s… it’s about your Grandfather,” Dad continued. I swallowed painfully and went to speak, but he continued before I could. “This morning your mother sent word that… Your grandpa has passed away.” There was almost no delay in my reaction. It was the worst feeling I thought I would ever feel. It felt as though my heart was ripped out of my chest. At first, there was simply a cold numbness that passed through me. That lasted for less than a second. It took altogether only one second after my father told me that my grandfather had passed away until I was on my hooves, and galloping away towards my room.

“Nettle!” I heard Noctis call. I didn’t hear him call after me again or follow. I assume Dad had silenced him. I burst into my room, turned around, and slammed the door closed with all of the strength I could. I just stood there for a moment, hoof resting on the doorknob, trembling violently and breath coming in gasps of despair. I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks. I tried to dry them, and I also tried to keep my sobs choked down. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to acknowledge that one of my family was gone forever. I wanted to forbid the mere thought.

But it kept hitting me, over and over, and over again. It was like a jeering raven resting on the shoulder of Death himself, laughing at my pitiful pleas to get my grandfather back. Shrieking at me, “He’s dead! He’s Dead! He’s DEAD!” And there was nothing I could do. It was in that moment that all of my denial on the premise of mortality was shattered. My Grandfather was dead.

I gave up. I don’t know how I was able to do it, but I got myself to my bed. My face buried into my pillow, and for I don’t know how long, I did the only thing I possibly could.

I cried and screamed in defeat, misery, and sorrow.

<^><^><^><^>

I suddenly snapped back to reality, my head and face colliding rather solidly with a tree, and causing me to topple backwards down the hill. I came to rest at the bottom, my head smacking against a rock. Groaning, I slowly sat up and began rubbing my head. Yikes, my memories had been getting pretty vivid recently. I glanced about to see where I was. Still in Ponyville, but just barely. I'd wandered quite a distance, I realized, given that the markets were only slightly off the center of town. I looked forwards, and planted my hoof rubbing my temple down. I was directly in front of the Everfree forest. How did I not notice I was wandering in the direction of what can only be safely described as a nightmare? Shaking my head, I began to head back towards the center of town.

The sky was clear for the most part. I looked off to the north; and saw dark clouds on the horizon. The snow was coming and quickly. Give it another day, I mused, and we'd have our first snowfall. I soon found myself passing by a pond. I looked down into it, and into my reflection. At first, I thought that it was just murky water or something because my reflection was blurred to Tartarus. But then I brushed back my messy mane with a hoof and looked at my eyes.

I could barely tell corneas from the irises. I looked up and saw that there was a tree next to me, its last leaf dangling by almost nothing, no more than the last sliver of the stem.. A gentle breeze came by, and wouldn't you know it, the leaf fell, drifting down through the air. It landed in the pond and sent a gentle ripple through the image. Even with how subtle the ripple was, it was hard to tell the details anymore after the disruption. I knew I had bad eyesight, but this was new. I focused for several moments, but the image remained blurred.

Okay, this was getting odd. Glancing up, I noticed that everything around me was a little blurry. Not very much so, but noticeable. I slowly held a hoof up in front of my eyes. It too, was blurry. My eyes had never really posed a problem; I mean, I could still read, write, and see things. Why were my eyes suddenly faltering like this? I had no idea, but I figured now would be a good time to run on home and tell my parents and brother I could barely see. And that I did. I turned on my hooves, and galloped as quickly as possible.

As I entered back into town, I noticed I was getting looks. I imagine my face wasn't what one expected to see on a pony my age. I am going to be honest, I was actually a little scared. For my eyes to suddenly just falter like that, I was worried. Now, I was young. Again, this was like, five years ago, so my mind was going a little ballistic. My biggest worry was that I might have gotten some sort of disease or condition that affected the eyes. Naturally, if it were a disease, I'd be displaying symptoms.

Either way, as I ran, I almost collided with a number of ponies. My depth perception was even worse than usual. Ponies were closer than they appeared. I soon reached my street and glanced around, trying to find my house. With my vision now effectively shot, I couldn't make out any identifying landmarks. I squinted, but that did nothing. I slowed down and took a deep breath. OK, calm down. Think rationally, Nettle. How many houses in and on what side? Eight houses down on the left.

I backed up to the streets entrance, and began to count the houses on the left as I went. When I reached eight I looked for the house address number. Spotting it, I recognized it as mine, breathed a sigh of relief, and went inside. “Mom, Dad!” I called out. I looked left and right, but the dim lighting of the house proved very inadequate for me to make out much.

“Nettle, what's wrong?” I heard Mom say off to my left. Glancing over, I saw the blurry blob moving towards me.

“I don't know! While walking I fell and hit my head against a rock, and now I can't see anything. You're a blurry blob to me at the moment,” I explained rapidly, slightly panicked.

“Nettle, calm down. How long has your vision been blurry? When did you hit your head?”

“A few minutes ago.”

“You might just be dazed,” Noctis pointed out. I sneered in the direction the noise came from.

“No, he'd be dizzy and disoriented if that were the case,” Mom said, earning a rapid nod from me.

“Yeah. What makes it weird is that I wasn't immediately like this after the impact. It just kind of started while I was distracted by my reflection in a pond,” I explained. Mom nodded, I think.

“Alright. Find the couch and lay down. Let me know if it gets any better, okay? If It doesn't get better soon, we'll talk to somepony at the clinic.” She had Noctis guide me to the couch, where I lay down. I mumbled at myself for being such an unbalanced moron. How did I not see that darn tree? Oh well. Hopefully this would clear up soon.

<^><^><^><^>

It was a dumbass move to hope for that. I was terrible with jinxing stuff. As it is, I found that my vision didn't get better. It didn't get worse, either, much to my relief, but I could still just barely get around. We made arrangements at the clinic for my eyes to be examined the following day. I barely slept that night, anxiety taking over. I found my naive mind worried I'd go blind. Either way, the following day Noctis had work due to his ever-shifting schedule, and so did dad. Thus, Mom took me to the clinic personally.

Mom led me into the clinic, and guided me to the receptionists desk. I didn't look at the receptionist as Mom spoke to her. Instead, I glanced around the room, straining my eyes to pick up anything they could. Just blurs and blobs without fine detail. I followed almost without thinking as Mom led me by the hoof to a seat. It was a sort of lounge couch, and Mom had me sit next to her, her foreleg draped over my back. I looked down at my hooves, trying to bring them into focus. It was no use since my hooves stayed blurry. Time seemed to slow almost to a halt as I sat there, mind abuzz with questions.

Eventually, I heard a door open, and a female voice call, “Stinging Nettle?”

“That's us” my mother answered, guiding me towards the new voice. “I'm his mother. I assume you're Dr. Mane Goodall?”

“Actually, I'm Nurse Redheart,” the mare, answered.

“Oh, my apologies.”

“Don't worry about it. How's he doing?” I heard Redheart ask as we started down a hallway away from the lobby. “Any changes?”

“No. He says his eyesight is roughly the same as it was when this started,” Mom said.

“Okay. Do you have any idea what's wrong? Any hints as to the cause? Symptoms, history of similar things, anything?” Redheart inquired.

“Well, my eyes have never been very good. They were still plenty functional, but this is new. I can't even see your faces,” I said after a moment of silence had passed. We made a left turn.

“When did this start?” Redheart pressed.

“Yesterday. I fell down a hill and smacked my head against a rock my mistake. It started a few minutes after that,” I explained.

“Alright. Just in here,” Redheart urged, guiding us into a room I couldn't make out. I was really starting to hate not being able to tell what the flying heck I was looking at. From there, it all just sort of blurs together. Questions, a few tests on blood pressure and pulse, and then Redheart left to go and tell the good doctor I was ready for a more in depth examination. I was scared, honestly. I was worried that I would be given bad news after the examination.

I began to try and take my mind off of the current situation. I closed my eyes and focused on happier things. All of them lead right back around to my current predicament. Eventually my mind wandered to an image of Swallow talking to me. I wasn't sure what she was saying, just talking. I couldn't tell what the background was. All was focused on her. I felt myself relax slightly as a realization hit me. Even if I couldn't see properly, she would help me. She would aid me in my hours of need.

She already was, technically. Just by being in my mind, she was making me feel better. I was so blind back then. Not in the eyes...

But in the heart.

The doctor eventually showed up, and we talked it over. She got an idea of what might have been wrong, and began to do some tests. She shined some outrageously bright lights into my eye, which left spots hanging around for several minutes. She did other stuff, but given that this was five years ago, I don't really remember all of it. The eye-light thing is the only part of the testing I actually remember clearly. There was some kind of scan in there somewhere, but oh well.

<^><^><^><^>

Some time later and we were sent home with the promise of a conclusion arriving in the morning mail. Sadly, I had school the morning of the delivery. I had a pretty rough time getting through that day. Swallow was absent, much to my disappointment. She had come down with a cold over the weekend. The rest of my friends were still very supportive, and did what they could to help me along. When I got home that day, the house was empty.

Nopony was there. Noctis and Dad at their works, but what about Mom? I glanced over at the table and saw a white smudge on it. Drawing closer, I realized it was a letter. The text was written in marker, and was so large I could make it out.

“Will be home soon. Getting you glasses.

~Mom”

And so it was. My mother returned home a few minutes later, and gave me a pair of glasses. I wear them even as I type at this page. Those glasses took away the blurs, and I could see clearer than ever before. Naturally, the first thing I did was give my mom a hug, and say “Thank you.”

The Blizzard of Confusion

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To clarify why I needed glasses, the blow I received to the head from that rock did some damage to my head. The damage was superficial at its worst, but regardless, to help me see with the new found damage, we got some glasses. My friends were a little surprised to see them on my face come the following day. Honestly, though, I was rather happy. I could see clearer than ever before. So, with all of that said, I’m going to progress onto the next major event in this tale.

<^><^><^><^>

It had been a couple of weeks after I got my glasses. Things were finally settling down for me as the winter break started. I spent a lot of time indoors, just reading or practicing my writing. I would’ve gone for more walks, but the snow was a bit of a problem this year. However, one day, I received a letter. It was sent via one of the birds that I’d seen Fluttershy take care of. Somepony must have adopted it.

Either way, with little else to do that day, I popped it open, and began to read.

Stinging Nettle

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Anyway, I was wondering, if it’s OK with you and your parents to meet me somewhere? We haven’t really talked all that much in the last few weeks and I was hoping to catch up. I’d have gone to you personally, but at the time I wrote this I was a little indisposed. Anyways, I’ll be at the park where I told you about Longbow. I know you like to walk, so we can go from there, if it’s all the same to you. Try being there at about 4:00 pm, and we’ll see what happens.

~Twinkling Swallow.

Setting down the letter, I smiled slightly. It was definitely true we hadn’t communicated that much since the incident with my eyes, and I saw she was more interested in catching up with me then pinning the blame on me like some other ponies our age might. I nodded once to myself and trekked out of my room to the main door. Noctis was about to head out when I approached. He glanced up at me with a neutral expression. “Going somewhere?” he asked.

“Just going for a walk,” I replied, reaching for my boots and scarf. Noctis nodded silently. He was in his work uniform.

“Well, we have a rather large amount of snow scheduled for later, so don’t get caught in a blizzard if you can help it,” he advised, opening the door.

“I won’t” I answered, and the door closed. Getting my boots and scarf on, I stepped out into the cold air. Truthfully, I loved the cold. The only time I didn’t like being cold is when I got that slight internal chill that made me shiver. I looked about, taking in my surroundings. Even with the event of Hearths Warming being as popular and special as it is, it always surprised me just how mellow Ponyville was about it all. Sure we celebrated it, but it was always calm. I mean heck, we don’t even put up many decorations.

I smiled slightly as I saw a couple of younger foals gallop past, chasing a rolling ball. The ball got caught in a pile of snow, and the two foals began trying to get it out. I found it quite comical, honestly. Either way, I went on ahead, tracing my steps back to that now very familiar park. After a couple of turns, and a few long roads, I finally came across it. And sure enough, there she was, just sitting on a bench with her own scarf on. She spotted me moments later and waved happily. Smiling in return, I quickened my pace as I approached. “Hello!” I said cheerfully.

“Hi. How’s it going?” Swallow asked, hopping off of the bench.

“Kind of boring, honestly,” I replied. The last couple of weeks were definitely boring. Swallow nodded in agreement. “Oh, you had a boring time, too?”

“Oh yeah. Nothing’s really been going on,” she answered. We didn't even think about it, but we just started walking. It was really relaxing to me, to just walk along and talk. The sheer simplicity of it was something I deeply appreciated. To be in motion, allowing for easier thought thanks to increased blood flow to the brain, and having a close friend by your side to share your thoughts with. It was really something spectacular.

We walked for quite some time, just talking. Eventually, snow began to fall, as I figured it would. “I really like it here,” Swallow mused absently as we passed a family of ponies making snow-ponies. “I don't want to go.”

“You say that as though you're leaving for somewhere,” I said, snickering slightly. Much to my embarrassment, I didn't notice her stop for a second. I turned around to face her. Her expression was slightly pained. I felt that familiar sense. That bad news was just around the corner. “Hey, is something wrong?” I asked. A nod was my response. “Well, don't leave me in the dark. Come on, what's going on?”

“Well... Nettle, I don't know when, exactly, but my parents want to move to Canterlot. We aren't going to be here in Ponyville forever... I'm sorry,” she muttered out the last part. Well, that wasn't as bad as I was expecting. It was by no means good news, but it could be much, much worse.

“Ah. Well, what's to stop us from communicating via letter?” I asked.

“Huh? Oh... Well, I don't think anything is there to stop that.”

“And there you go. No problem,” I replied with a smile. Swallow smiled in response, and fell in by my side as we started to walk again. I smiled over at her as we went. Something about her presence that day made my chest warm. Maybe it was just the fact that her blue scarf, mane, and eyes seemed to go with the whites of the snow and her coat just perfectly. I caught myself staring when I realized Swallow was looking at me with a slight smirk. I looked away rapidly.

“Oh, relax. I’m not mad or anything.” She said, chuckling at me. I raised an eyebrow and looked back at her.

<^><^><^><^>

After a quick apology, we resumed our walk. There was a long, awkward silence, but we eventually got ourselves talking again. The topics bounced all over the place. However, the wind was starting to pick up, as was the snowfall. I glanced about, remembering that I didn’t want to be out here in the blizzard, and tried to figure out exactly where I was. Then the realization hit me that I wasn’t in a part of town I was familiar with. Ponyville wasn’t a big town, but I didn’t get around very much, and having been homeschooled for so many years of my life, memorizing the whole town was something I really needed to do.

“Horse apples!” I blurted as I realized that I honestly had no equestrian idea where I was.

“What’s wrong?” Swallow asked, stopping at the same time I did.

“I just realized I’ve never been in this part of town before,” I answered. I knew I should have paid more attention to the turns we were making.

“Oh! Um… ok, I’ll lead you back, then.” I nodded, and we began the trek back. The big problem here was that the snow and winds were picking up quickly. I may love the cold, but my body still has its limits, and I had no wish to become stuck in a blizzard. As we walked, it was definitely getting into the realms of a blizzard, and rapidly getting worse. I glanced over at Swallow, and saw that she was starting to tremble violently.

“Are you okay?” I asked, shifting slightly closer.

“Y-yeah, j-just the cold,” Swallow said, tightening her scarf with her magic. Her body's movements were getting a little stiff, and it didn’t take a genius to find out she was going numb. I was also going numb. The blizzard was still getting worse, much to my surprise. Ponyville blizzards were never, ever this bad. I sidestepped, and pushed the side of my body against Swallows. She jumped in surprise.

“I’m sharing my body heat,” I explained, and she nodded. I could barely see where I was going, and Swallow didn’t seem to be doing much better, glancing left and right rapidly, looking for any kind of landmark that could help. Sadly, none could be found. I looked to Swallow. She was trembling, even with our body heats complimenting each other, and she was moving very stiffly. Glancing over, I spotted a house right next to us. “Swallow, we need shelter,” I said, having to raise my voice over the blasting winds.

“Where do we go?” she asked.

“Somewhere warm,” I replied, and gestured with my head as the door of the house appeared from the mists created by the cascade of snow.

“Do you know them?” Swallow asked.

“No.” Without waiting for a reply, I knocked on the door. Several moments passed before the door opened, showing the face of a butter yellow colored mare. I’d seen her around town before, but never conversed with her, and at the time I didn’t know her name. She looked to be middle aged, somewhere in her thirties or forties.

“Got caught in the blizzard?” she asked, suddenly getting a somewhat concerned look.

“Yes. Can we take shelter here until it passes?” I asked, voice trembling from the cold that was wracking my body. The mare looked over her shoulder for a second, and I heard muffled voices from the inside. After only a couple of seconds, she turned back to us and opened the door all of the way, letting us inside the house. It felt great to be back in moderate warmth again, and I shook to get the excess snow out of my mane and off my back. Glancing back up, I spotted a couple of foals, far younger than me ‘spying’ on me from a staircase.

The living room I found myself in was a very short ‘L’ shape. In the corner was a lamp, with a couch on the wall next to it. There was a door adjacent to the couch leading into another room, but I couldn’t see what was there from here. Along the entire wall on the other side of the room was the prior mentioned staircase. There were various little decorations and items of use scattered about. “Go have a seat, I’ll get you a blanket. You two must be freezing.”

“Thank you very much,” Swallow said quietly, making her way to the couch. I followed after at a slow pace. I was always rather stubborn, and I always tried to be polite. Barging into someone’s home, even if it was to keep from freezing to death, seemed a bit rude to me. I guess I’m just too stubborn not to realize at the time that she agreed to let me in, I didn’t just barge in. Either way, I wasn’t complaining that I was safe. I got onto the couch and sat next to Swallow, who was still trembling from the cold. The mare had gone upstairs rather quickly.

“Are you going to be okay?” I asked quietly. Swallow nodded, smiling back at me.

“Yes, I think so. We’re out of the cold, so that’s got to be a plus,” she replied.

“Yeah.”

A minute or so passed in silence before the Mare came back down the stairs with a rather large blanket. It was dark green, really fluffy, and looked fantastically warm. She draped it over us, making sure there weren’t any gaps where air would escape from. “Thank you,” I said, laying down on my stomach. The mare nodded.

“You’re very welcome. Can I get you two anything?” she asked gesturing with her head to the kitchen.

“No thanks. I don’t want to be a burden while I’m here,” I answered, resting my head on my front hooves.

“It’s not a problem, really,” the mare pressed, but I shook my head.

“I’d feel bad if I took anything for any reason. You’re doing me enough of a kindness by allowing me and Swallow to let the storm pass,” I explained, suddenly feeling very tired. The mare nodded quietly. Swallow nudged my side, and I glanced over at her to see her smiling warmly at me.

“That’s very polite of you,” Swallow said, smile persisting. I smiled in return, before looking back to the mare. She herself was smiling now, and nodded slowly.

“Well, alright. You two look tired. Get some rest. If you fall asleep while you’re here, when the snow passes, is it alright if I wake you?” she asked, glancing back to the two foals, now identified as fillies to my eyes, which in turn were watching me and Swallow.

“That’s fine,” I answered. Swallow had laid her own head down, and closed her eyes. I personally chose to stay awake for a while yet, taking in my surroundings. The mare went to guide who were likely her daughters upstairs. I was left alone for several minutes, unintelligible, muffled voices coming from upstairs. I paid them no mind, my eyes eventually landing on Swallow, who was now sleeping. I idly wondered just what sort of adventure she was living out now. Her dream world never ceased to amaze me, and I was now excited to hear the next chapter from her, and get caught up on the old ones.

My attention was brought back up to the stairs as I heard them creaking, along with the sound of hooves on wood as the mare came down. We didn't exchange any words, just a simple nod before I returned my gaze to Swallow. I could practically sense the mare smiling. “You two seem rather relaxed so close to each other. Are you two dating, by any chance?” she asked. I turned my head and narrowed my eyes at her, as way of shooting the thought down.

“No. She and I are just friends, and we did just get out of what is likely the coldest weather I've ever been in. I'm simply keeping a close proximity to keep her body heat up for the time being,” I explained, glancing straight ahead when I finished. The mare nodded, and said no more.

<^><^><^><^>

I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep. I was awoken by the mare to news that the snow had gotten under control. Apparently one of the pegasi managing it had overdone it a little bit, letting it get rather heavily out of control. They had managed to subdue it, and were now maintaining it at a much more pleasant fall of snow. The sort you can casually walk in when it starts and be able to think it's beautiful. I thanked the mare warmly for her hospitality, and began to make my way home. Her house was actually in a part of town I recognized, allowing me to make my way home without a problem. Swallow went her own direction.

As I was walking, my mind wandered back to what the kind mare had said. She had asked if Swallow and I were dating. I was pretty concrete in my desire to never date as long as I was still in school, but for some reason I couldn’t yet fathom, the idea sounded strangely appealing. However, I decided with my better judgment as my guide that I would stick to my old set up of no dates, and no fillyfriends. It was simply not for me at this age. I soon found myself at my front door. I could hear talking inside. It had definitely been a while since I headed out. I could tell because of the now dim lighting, and the lit street lamps.

Either way, I pushed the door open, and stepped inside. My parents were talking with Noctis when I walked in. Dad turned to look at me, and immediately stood up. “Nettle!” he exclaimed in what sounded like a mixture of happy and worried surprise.

“Sorry about being gone so long. Turns out I’m not very good at avoiding blizzards.” I chuckled weakly at the deadpan stare I got from Noctis. Mom was up on her hooves now as well.

“Nettle, are you alright?” she asked much more calmly than my dad.

“Yes, I’m fine. A little cold, but fine,” I answered honestly, analyzing the various expressions of my family. Noctis just looked irritated, Dad looked more relaxed now, but mom maintained a healthy level of worry. Made sense, I guess.

“A little? That blizzard went on for three hours! How are you only ‘a little’ cold?” Dad inquired, stepping towards me.

“I was able to find some shelter from the snow,” I answered. My parents were not in any way keen on the idea of going into another ponies home if I didn’t know them.

“Shelter?” Noctis asked, raising an eyebrow. I nodded simply.

“Yup. Can I get some hot chocolate?” I requested politely, gesturing with my head in the direction of the kitchen.

“I’ll get it ready for you. For now, you just stay out here and get some rest,” Mom replied, heading for the kitchen at a fairly brisk pace. I nodded slowly, and began to make my way to the couch.

“So, where did you walk to?” Noctis asked as I settled into a couch cushion.

“Just around,” I answered vaguely, glancing to dad, who was now following mom into the kitchen.

“Just around, huh?” Noctis muttered. “Well, you just walking around worried us sick.”

“Sorry, the snow built up quicker than I thought it would.” I excused.

“It still took a while to build up.” He countered.

“I got distracted.” Another excuse on my part.

“By what?” He inquired.

“Why are you so curious?” I requested.

“Why are you refusing to share?” At that, I had to pause. Why was I dodging their questions? I honestly had no idea, so I simply said;

“I don’t know.” Noctis nodded simply, and said no more. I said I didn’t know. And at that point in time, I really didn’t. I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. I didn’t know what was staring me in the eye from across a bridge. I had but to step across the bridge and grasp it, but I would never be able to turn back. I had no idea that this bridge was even there, and I wouldn’t find it for quite some time. It’s the reason I kept finding myself so fascinated with Swallow. But the problem is that I was blind to that reason. It was almost as if I was wearing a blindfold with something brushing against me. I know it’s there, but I have no idea what it is.

The simple fact I am trying to make here is that I had no idea. This wonderful thing just across that bridge was invisible to me, as the blizzard of confusion shielded my vision. In all simple, plain honesty, I simply didn’t know.

The Breaking Point

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The time began to flow, one day leading into the next, the natural sense of progression fueling the day-to-day events of my life. School soon started back up again, and continued on its rapid path. One thing that is very easy for me to notice is that school, even with all of tension and stress that it drops on the students, makes their perception of time speed up, because something is always happening, be it a class activity, a lecture, an argument between two of the class idiots, etcetera. At least, that’s the way it works for me. The school week always seems much shorter than the weekend to me.

Over the days that soon stretched into weeks, Swallow and I spent more and more time together. We worked together on school projects and helped our other friends deal with their own problems, but in the end we spent the most time with each other. It filled me with this warmth whenever I was near her, warmth I could not explain. Whatever it was, though, I found that I enjoyed the feeling a great deal. It made the world around me seem to be a much nicer place.

However, I never allowed it to distract me. I still had the negative view I always had, even with the lighter tones tinting the image of the world I painted for myself. I was still skeptical, cautious, and as sarcastic and snarky as ever. Swallow didn’t seem to mind as I always found a way to make her laugh with my weird antics, which, in turn, made me smile. A mare like her should never have a reason to be sad.

Eventually, as the month finally turned over to the next, an event would take place that would change my view of the world. For the first time, I would begin to see the true colors of those around me. Others may have tried to alter my perception of this matter, but it never happened. In the four or five years since this event, nothing has been even remotely capable of changing my mind.

<^><^><^><^>

Winter wrap-up was coming in another month, and I was eagerly awaiting it. I was determined to actually be useful this time, unlike last year where I had caused a rather large problem. Anyway, something was really beginning to bother me; Dusk Raider, a Pegasus who was to graduate at the end of the school year, had been giving me odd looks recently. Dusk was not a pony I was friends with, though we were by no means enemies.

We simply let each other go about our individual business. He was, from what I had heard, very possessive. If he wanted something, he would go to extreme measures to get it. So far, he had managed to get all of the important things he wanted, including good grades, a number of friends, and even a fillyfriend. It was going around that he and she had recently broken up by mutual agreement that it wasn’t working, and that he was a little depressed. Still, that didn’t explain the looks he was giving me. I knew that he had been conversing with Swallow recently, but I didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t my business, after all.

His looks were either simple glances or blank stares. One day, however, after school, he gave me a scowl. I had never seen him scowl, and it was actually a little frightening. He was a grey pony with a slight tint of dark purple to his coat, and a bright, silvery blue mane and tail. His look sent a chill down my spine, causing me to pick up the pace towards my house.

The sooner I was home, the better. I had homework anyway, so might as well deal with that sooner than later, anything to get me inside. The snow crunched under my hooves as I went, each crunch sounding ominous in the quiet town. I knew that Swallow had stayed behind since she had something at the school she needed to deal with. I think a friend of hers had gotten upset, so she was staying with them until the parents arrived.

My street was coming into my line of sight, and I began to relax a little, slowing my pace. That proved a horrible mistake. As I slowed, I heard hoof steps that had been mimicking mine. Red flags shot off in my head, and I looked over my shoulder, trying to make it look like a passive glance at my environment. In the corner of my eye, I saw a burst of movement, and turned my head the rest of the way. A powerful physical blow connected with my front, and plowed me backwards behind a house.

My eyes had snapped shut on instinct when the movement connected, and I was finding it very difficult to open them again. That was a big problem of mine. Fast movement that came close to my body caused me to seize up, which is one of the reasons I tried to avoid fights. Still, I managed to get my eyes open after a moment to see the force pinning me down. “Dusk?!” I exclaimed breathlessly, realizing that he had knocked the wind out of me with the impact.

“Stinging Nettle” Dusk replied, voice low. He sounded very, very pissed.

“What the hay are you doing? Get off of me!” I tried to shout, but the second half was cut off as he jammed his hoof into my mouth. I looked up at him with fearful eyes.

“Shut up! You think you’re so smart. You thought I wouldn’t catch on, didn’t you?” he snarled, glaring down at me with an unspeakable hatred burning in his eyes like a tornado of fire. I began trying to struggle against him, trying desperately to push him off, but he was stronger than I was by quite a bit. “Well, let’s see how smart you think you are when I’ve pummeled you to the hospital!” He lifted up his other hoof, with the clear intent of striking me. I quickly grabbed his other hoof, the one stuck in my mouth, and was able to pull it out.

“What are you-“ I tried to ask, but he struck my face with all of the strength I could imagine he could put into a punch. I became dazed as pain lanced into my system, colors exploding across my vision from the force of the blow. I tried to scream, but my mouth was sealed once again by his infernal hoof. Another blow hit me, and more pain shot through my system. I tried feebly to fight back, sending my own hoof up with what strength I could muster, but he knocked it to the side.

Another strike, and another. Over and over and over again, I found myself being struck. I couldn’t see at all through the multitude of colors and spots dancing through my eyes. My ears were ringing loudly, every strike a loud boom in my mind. Finally, he removed his hoof from my mouth, I assume to strike me with both of them at the same time. It took me a moment to realize this, and when I did, I took advantage of it.

“HELP ME!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, receiving another blow, harder than its precursors. The colors suddenly flared, sound faded away, and then all went dark and infinitely silent. All that remained was an echo, calling my name, and pain.

<^><^><^><^>

An agony I can’t even begin to describe filled my head. I heard echoes, echoes of voices. Some sounded worried, others sounded angry, and one sounded terrified. I tried to open my eyes, but beheld very little. My vision was fuzzy, and my eyelids barely even lifted enough for me to see light. What little I could see was various shades of blue. I felt numb all over, likely from the snow, and I found my mind just as empty. I could hardly think coherent thoughts. More echoes, slowly becoming clearer. One of them stood out from the rest. I could make out what she was saying, even if just barely.

“Nettle! Please, wake up!” she cried. The way her voice trembled as well as the hysterical sobbing with it made me worried. Other voices slowly began to come into focus.

“What the hay were you thinking!? You could have killed him!” That was my dad’s voice! The way he was shouting made him sound angry, angrier than I’d ever heard him be before. Another voice entered the picture.

“And I should care, how?” That voice, I remembered. It belonged to the pony that put me in this condition. I finally managed to force my eyes open, and took in the scene. There was a small crowd, consisting of my family, Dusk Raider, some ponies I didn’t recognize who were holding Dusk back, and Swallow. I looked up at Swallow, who had turned to look at Dusk.

“Dusk, I don't know what came over you, but the fact remains that you just hurt a friend of mine! If you wanted to win my heart, this wasn’t the way to do it!” Swallow shouted angrily before turning her eyes back down to me. She gasped, and looked back at my dad. “He's awake!” she exclaimed. Dad came to my side in a heartbeat, and rested a hoof on my back.

“Hey, I'm here,” he said reassuringly, bringing me into a gentle hug. I was barely able to return it, but I did, my eyes looking at whatever they chose. Dusk was glaring at me, looking about ready to break away from the ponies restraining him to try and attack me again. A glance from him at Swallow, though, seemed to change his mind. Swallow was looking at me with a worried expression. I reached one of my hooves out to her, not really sure what my intended gesture was. She reached up with her own hoof, and gently connected her hoof to mine.

“It's okay...” she whispered, a tear coming to her eye. I looked at Dusk, then back to Swallow, trying to find words that could answer my questions, but I could still barely think at all. Finally, I managed to get something out.

“Why?” I mumbled weakly. Dad must have felt the vibrations from my talking, because he pulled back to look me in the eye.

“What?” he asked quietly. I shook my head, and focused, trying to form a coherent sentence.

“Swallow... Come here...” was what I managed to get out. She circled around my dad and sat down next to me, rubbing soothing circles into my back with her hoof.

“Yes, Nettle?” she asked, a forced smile on her face.

“Why did he attack me?” I muttered, gesturing at Dusk. Swallow sighed heavily, and glanced back at Dusk. There was a long moment of tense silence.

“He... He wanted to start dating me. I turned him down. I can only assume that he thought I was already dating you, based on how often we were with each other...” Swallow said, hesitating every few words.

“He's dangerous!” Dusk snapped. Dad turned to glare at him.

“So are you!” my dad yelled at him, pulling me into a defensive embrace, as though trying to shield me from any kind of assault. “In fact, I'd say you're more dangerous! You attacked him without provocation!”

“To protect Swallow!” Dusk replied, voice trembling. Silence prevailed for a moment, before he continued. “Nettle once attacked another student, as I'm sure you know, because he was playfully shoved. He almost attacked Diamond Tiara over something that wasn't even his business! He's harmful, so I did what I had to in order to protect Swallow!” The second he said those last 3 words, Swallow got to her hooves and marched up to him. I imagine her expression was scary, given how quickly Dusk shut his mouth.

Swallow stood in front of him for several moments, then slapped him with what I imagine was all of the strength she could muster. “Protect me?! You hurt my friend, and so you've hurt me, too! I don't know what in Equestria made you even remotely sure that attacking him would be a good idea, and I don't care!” Swallow screamed at him, fury burning in her voice. Dusk didn't respond, but simply stared at her with watering eyes. Swallow turned away from him, and returned to my side.

“Swallow...” Dusk muttered, but there was no response from the snow-colored unicorn. Swallow sat down next to me, and silence prevailed in the snowy area.

<^><^><^><^>

A few minutes later found the nurses arriving. According to an on the scene examination, I had a severe concussion. I was carried away to the hospital, while local officials showed up to issue a jail sentence on Dusk Raider. I found myself in that hospital for several days, eating crappy food, and incapable of much movement. My parents and Noctis made daily visits, and by my request, Swallow was allowed to visit every once in a while. The visits were solemn, subdued, and always fairly short. It was a week before I was deemed recovered enough to return home.

But after returning home from the hospital, I found I couldn't sleep. I had always been knocked out by sleeping medication in the hospital for this very reason. I was suffering from these horrible nightmares. Either Dusk, or some other pony shrouded in darkness was hurting me in some way. Either by physically pummeling me while my family and Swallow were forced to watch, or by pummeling them, or even through words. In every case, I was always completely powerless, having to endure the suffering and agony.

One of these dreams has stayed with me the entire time since the incident...

<^><^><^><^>

Darkness enveloped me in its cold embrace. The world around me was lit only by the faintest of lights emitting from a distant torch. My neck and back felt as though they were on fire, and my eyes burned from the strain of staring at that light for so long. I had no idea where I was, but it was terrifying me. Occasionally, I would hear a scream of pain or fear, a feminine voice desperately calling out for help. Every time I heard it, it was getting closer. I tried to form words, or even sounds, but nothing escaped my throat.

Finally, I heard a sound that wasn't screaming. It sounded like a gate opening. I turned my gaze to the left, where the noise had come from, and was almost blinded as a much closer light struck my eyes. Shielding them, I tried to make out just what I was seeing. It was a silhouette, slowly drawing closer. Accompanying it were pained whimpers of despair and defeat. My eyes snapped open. I recognized that voice. The silhouette slowly drew past, dragging in chains behind it, a White Unicorn.

“Swallow!” I crashed against the bars of my cage, trying to break them down, trying to push through, anything to get out and save her! Her eyes turned to look at mine, and I froze. Her eyes were dull, and filled with a fear that was frozen in place. I tried to push my hoof through the bars so I could try and grab her hoof, but she was past before I could. Moments later, life seemed to restore in her eyes as she started screaming again, reaching out for me.

The figure snarled in disgust, turned, and struck her. She fell to the stone floor, motionless and silent. The figure turned to me, still shrouded in that darkness. He smirked, teeth visible as a large white crescent. He turned back to Swallow, and a horn I hadn't noticed lit up with an equally shadowy aura. The same aura surrounded Swallows neck, and lifted her into the air. My eyes widened, and I tried to scream for it to stop, but in the next moment, there was a sickening snap...

<^><^><^><^>

I would awaken screaming, and my family would rush in to help calm me down, and sooth me back to sleep. Eventually, I started back into school, but it was clear to everyone that I had changed. I saw it, too. I was far less trusting, far more cynical and rude, and also reacted much more negatively to the greetings of others. I don't know how many potential friends I might have shoved away, but I trusted nopony. My mind was aching from the recurring nightmares, and I became far more secluded. Even my friends and I became distant. On nights when I wasn’t haunted by nightmares, I’d awaken crying instead.

The only one who refused to distance herself from my new behavior was Swallow. Frankly, I'm glad she stayed by my side. The only good thing I can think of that came from this is tied directly to a poem I wrote a few weeks after the incident.

My blood begins to boil as you lash out.

I raise myself up, ready to counter you, stout.

The world slows to a stop,

A single tear falls, a blue drop.

The blow connects, and I fall.

Another blow, the world seems to stall.

Strike, strike, strike the hooves go now.

But even with all your might bearing down, I will never bow.

The sun dips below the line,

And I know that my life is mine.

As soon as the last period was struck by my quill, I felt an odd sensation going through me. A tingling all over my body. It felt... nice, honestly. I didn't think anything of it at first, but as I descended down the stairs, Noctis jumped in surprise. “Nettle, are you aware of what's on your flank?” he asked. I tilted my head, and glanced back. Almost as though tattooed, on my flank was a red quill, and instead of ink coming out of the tip, there was a single blue tear.

I had found my cutie mark.

The Forging Of A Bond

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It came as a surprise to my fellow students that I had gotten my cutie mark, but most were unsurprised by what it meant. To me, the red quill represented my love of writing, while the tear coming out of it represented the sadness I liked to convey in my writing, along with my own newfound inner turmoil. As I said before, I was never the same after I was attacked by Dusk Raider, and it was, as far as I was concerned, represented by that tear. The nightmares, the more pessimistic attitude, my blunt behavior towards my friends all lined up with that tear coming from the quill.

However, something was beginning to enter my mind. It was a worry, and a want all at the same time. It was confusing honestly, that I could be afraid of something, and have that same fear fill me with a warm, wonderful feeling of hope and longing. This concern of mine pestered me for weeks after I got out of the hospital. The concern itself was Swallow, who made as much time as possible to be near me, comfort me, and help me. Something about her was making me feel unusual. Something about her presence set my body on fire with a sort of joy I hadn't felt before. I was concerned as to why I felt this, but at the same time I didn't want it to ever go away.

I asked myself repeatedly what the feeling meant, trying in vain to find an answer. The events of one day's walk around town would begin me on the road to the answer I sought...

<^><^><^><^>

After eating breakfast, which was a fairly silent event for me those days, I stepped out into the warming air. I took a deep breath, and began my slow trot down the street. I had no destination, and I was in no hurry. My slow trot carried me through to the marketplace, where various ponies were starting to go about setting up various stands. I didn’t care, really. My mind was focused much more heavily on the when Dusk attacked me so many weeks ago. It was still haunting me horribly.

A chill ran up my spine, and my forehead gave a throb of protest at the memory. I wanted to shove the memories out, and forget I was ever attacked, but every other thought somehow looped back around to those few sickening minutes where my head was almost caved. I stopped and shook myself, then glanced around. I was a little outside of the market now. I made my way further into the carefully planned rows of houses and buildings. I recognized this area, now that I thought about it.

Sure enough, I saw Teal Bucklers house not far away. It was a simple home, structurally similar to mine, and 2 stories tall. I barely gave it a glance as I passed. Buckler and I hadn't spoken in a while, and I had no desire to communicate. It's not that I was angry at him, far from it, I was just not really social after that mess with Dusk. Even though I didn't even give the house the courtesy of a complete look, I guess Buckler was at the window and saw me. The front door to his house opened as I passed, causing me to halt.

Buckler stepped out, closing the door behind him. “Nettle,” he greeted, though not in his typical manner. There was none of the usual warmth or friendliness to his tone. All I could pick up was a distinct sense of worry and concern. I didn't respond, save for a simple nod. He came up to my side as I started walking again. “Can I talk to you?” he asked.

“Depends on what you want to talk to me about,” I said, glancing over at him.

“A few things, actually. First off, Waltz and Brimstone have been getting worried about you. You haven’t been talking to anypony in our circle for a while now,” he said, keeping pace and meeting my gaze. I sighed heavily.

“I just don't want to talk much these days. I’ve been very... distracted lately, and just need some time. Let them know I'm doing fine,” I answered.

“Well, alright. Just try and get in some time to talk to us at some point, okay? You're even worrying me,” Buckler said, looking down slightly. I dismisses him with a snort, but made no further comment. We walked in silence for a few moments. Finally, Buckler looked back up at me. “By the way...”

“Yes?” I asked.

“I heard about what happened with Dusk, his motivations and such,” he scoffed, “He's in jail at the moment, right?”

“Going to stay there, hopefully,” I replied coldly.

“Well, according to the ponyville confidentials, he was attacking you out of a kind of jealousy or something. Over Swallow?” he asked carefully, falling behind ever so slightly.

“He thought I was a threat to her, so he tried to beat my skull in,” I explained. He nodded.

“And I’ve noticed that, well...” he hesitated. I paused and turned to look at him. He gulped and continued. “You and Swallow have spent every second possible with each other. I don't mean to pry, but is there something between you two?”

“No. If there’s anything coming from her end, I haven't seen it,” I replied. A silence followed. I continued walking a moment later. Buckler didn't follow. As I walked, thoughts began to drift to and fro in my mind. I slowly began to arc my way in the direction of my house, lost in thought all the way. I honestly had no real idea how much Swallow cared about me. A lot, apparently, given that she was one of the only Ponies to keep herself close to me after I became so harsh. But she was closer than the rest.

I thought back to how I felt whenever she was nearby; I always felt safe, secure, protected and above all, wanted. She wanted me to keep being her friend. Everypony else was perfectly happy to step away when I changed. She alone was there by my side at all times, comforting me, helping me, caring for me. I suddenly realized the track my mind was taking, and shifted gears a bit. There was a feeling I'd overlooked. It was a very subtle, almost inconceivable pinch in my chest, and I only ever felt it when around her.

My mind continued to wander in this pattern, a question beginning to bloom in my mind. Did she ever feel the same thing when around me? I had no idea, but an idea on how to find a clue sprang to mind. I made a beeline for my house, deciding my parents would be the best source of information on this topic.

<^><^><^><^>

Closing the door as I stepped in, I noticed Dad and Noctis were both gone. Mom on the other hoof, was sitting at the table, engrossed in a book. I made my way to the table and sat down. Mom glanced up as I did and smiled at me. “Hello, Nettle. How are you?” she asked, the smile on her face holding a sort of sad tint.

“Meh,” was my response, resulting in Moms smile fading. She set her book down, and stood up from her seat in order to take the one next to me.

“Nettle, what’s on your mind?” she asked quietly, and I glanced back up at her.

“A lot of things, actually. I have a question for you.” I said.

“Oh? What is it?” Mom asked, wrapping her foreleg over my shoulders.

“What exactly do you feel when around Dad? Like, can you describe the sensation in a way that anypony could understand?” I inquired, opting to now stare straight ahead. Mom hesitated, looking down at me with an unreadable look.

“What brought this on?” she asked.

“Just give me an answer, please,” I replied, followed by a silence from both of us. It wasn’t an awkward silence or a tense silence. It was a thoughtful, considering silence. After a few moments, I got my answer.

“Well, it’s hard to describe it. Whenever I’m around him, I feel warm, like his mere presence is wrapping me up like a fluffy blanket. I also feel loved, for lack of a better word,” Mom described, not really giving me the answer I wanted.

“Can you describe the latter sensation?” I asked, looking back up at her again.

“I can try. You remember how when your grandfather died we were all filled with sorrow?” she asked, and I suddenly didn’t like where this was going. I nodded, and she continued, “Imagine the polar opposite. The ice that filled your veins melting away into a warm stream that carries you away, and you’re enjoying every second of it. It’s warmth far more comfortable than the warmth you feel when you first wake up under the blankets. It lights up all of your senses, and gives you a sort of elation. And you never want it to go away because if it does, you will be left hollow.”

That made a lot of sense, actually. It didn’t line up completely with what I was feeling around Swallow, but it was pretty close. Silence prevailed for several moments before I responded, “Thank you for telling me that.” Mom smiled at me, and gave my shoulder a pat.

“You’re welcome, Nettle. But tell me, what exactly brought this on?” She was giving me a warm smile now, but there was a sort of knowing mischief to it that made me uneasy.

“That’s my business,” I replied before slipping out of the chair, and making my way for the stairs.

“Nettle,” Mom called softly, and I turned to look at her. She hesitated, and then said, “If you’re feeling the same thing about somepony, you don’t need to hide it. And further, don’t be afraid of it. You never want to hide from your own emotions. It will do nothing but rip you apart from the inside out.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I replied, and headed up.

<^><^><^><^>

I didn’t sleep well that night. Of course, I hadn’t been sleeping well for quite some time now, but tonight was different. Instead of the typical nightmare, the night’s dream was very different. I found myself awake inside a strange void. I was lying on my side, and a strange sense of calm, collected peace washed over me. As I glanced around, the void began to take colors, shapes, and defining features. Soon, I was in a sort of glade, surrounded by trees on all sides. The glade was surrounded by a circle of trees, the floor blanketed by bushes and other plants. The occasional firefly danced by, and the air itself felt pure. The moon was high in the sky, the craters of Nightmare Moon still etched into its surface. The night sky sparkled with a million stars. It was strange, but I felt safe here.

The place was completely foreign to me, but somehow, I had never felt safer. The ground itself was also rather inviting, given the dozens of multi-colored flowers that covered it. I felt warm, and protected.

Off to my right a twig snapped. Glancing over, I saw a white hoof retreating into the shadows beyond the glade. I wasn’t alone, then. “Hello?” I called, slowly approaching the edge where the hoof retreated.

Two blue eyes looked out at me, looking frightened and bloodshot. The closer I edged, the further the eyes moved away.

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked.

The moment I did, the eyes turned away, and I heard hooves galloping away. “Hey, wait!” I called out.

I gave chase, trying to keep myself as non-threatening as I could. Somepony out here was hurt, or scared, and I was the only one who could help; I could feel it. This other entity and I were alone here in this forest. I heard the hooves moving away at an almost unnatural speed, and I found it impossible to keep up. Speeding up, I began to grow cold, and my body felt as though my veins were beginning to freeze. Suddenly, a sensation came over me. It was at first a sort of numb chill. moments later, it felt like my heart was ripped from my chest, the empty space filled with thousands of cold creatures eating away at me.

I crashed to the ground, twitching, gasping for breath, and sobbing uncontrollably. The sound of galloping hooves disappeared, and I was left there for I don’t know how long, feeling like something more important than anything else had vanished forever. I tried to move, I tried to think about something else, but it all went back to that pony that ran away from me. Where was he or she? Was he or she hurt? Why did he or she run? Countless questions and all of them unanswered.

Finally, just like how the glade had been painted around me, the paint was now beginning to melt away from the canvas, leaving me alone in that dark void, sobbing, and incapable of knowing why that pony had ran away, or where they went.

<^><^><^><^>

Morning came. The weekend was over, so it was time to head back to school, much to my dismay. Without lagging, I got my breakfast, put on my scarf and boots, and made my way there. All the while I was thinking about that odd dream. I wasn’t one to think that dreams meant anything in the long run. They usually reflected your mental state, but often didn’t make any sense. That one, however, was one of the most sensible dreams I have ever had.

I began to shove it out of my mind when I saw Swallow approaching me, a wide smile on her face. The white hoof I saw in the dream came back to mind with a vengeance. Was that supposed to be Swallow in my dream? It would make sense, given how much Swallow had been around me lately. I had started thinking about her frequently, so that likely spawned the dream. Still, I smiled in return as she fell into a trot at my side.

“Heya! You doing better today?” Swallow asked, nodding gently towards me.

“Sort of...” I answered, looking away. I could practically sense her ears drooping. “I'm fine, don't worry. I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all,” I clarified, looking back to her with the warmest smile I could muster.

“Well, spill it. What's on your mind?” she asked, voice and demeanor taking on a much more somber theme. I swallowed painfully, trying to find words. I faltered for a moment. Her face was in a worried, pained expression, one which I could not do anything for.

“I... I'm just uncertain of something,” I replied, keeping my voice level. At the time, I found it odd how hard it was for me to simply ask the question I wanted to ask. But the sparks lighting up my body were making that rather difficult.

“Like?” Swallow persisted, looking at me with a now curious gaze.

“I guess I don't really understand you as much as I thought I did. I mean, all of my other friends and I became rather distant after the Dusk incident. You, on the other hoof, have stayed by my side the whole time. You're one of only four ponies to not walk out on me, and I guess I'm just curious as to why,” I explained, looking down at the still snow-covered ground. A silence followed.

“I haven't abandoned you, Nettle, because I care about you,” Swallow said, resting a hoof on my shoulder. I stopped walking and looked back over at her. She had a friendly smile on her face now, one which lit me up, but for some reason felt insufficient.

“How much?” I asked the question before thinking about it. I felt her foreleg tense slightly through her hoof, and she looked at me curiously. I regretted those words almost immediately. Why the heck did I just say that? Why did I care how much she cared? It's obvious she cared a lot to have stayed by my side, why exactly did I need to know more!? I was about to ask her to forget it, when she answered.

“A lot, Nettle. A lot. You're one of the few friends I've made since moving here that I care about as much as my friends at my old home.” Swallow explained, drawing me into a hug. I hesitated, but returned it.

“Thank you...” I muttered, just basking in the embrace for its duration. After a moment, Swallow slowly broke the hug, and smiled at me.

“You're welcome,” she replied before giving me a comforting pat on the shoulder. I smiled in return, and watched as she turned and made her way for the school house. I followed after, not exactly sure still if I was feeling what I thought I was, but I knew this much; I've never had a better friend.

The Dawning Realization

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The school day was a swirling blur of activity that day. I really couldn’t tell you what all I did during that time even if I wanted to. The only times that could be defined as ‘clear’ were the moments I spent with Swallow. I remember we talked, but they were fleeting exchanges. Eventually, the school day came to an end, and I found myself walking alongside Swallow, a bright smile on my face. And the fact that she was smiling as well filled me with a sense of happiness I hadn’t felt in a while.

Swallow and I talked about various things. We discussed the recently released weather schedule, the ever-closer winter wrap up and surrounding holidays, and various ideas for stories to write. I vaguely recall jokingly saying maybe I’d write a story about her. Swallow simply giggled, and told me she’d be honored. The whole time, despite the biting cold, I felt surprisingly warm inside. All good things come to an end sooner or later, and Swallow and I had to head to our respective homes.

As I walked home, my mind began to wander again. I paid very little attention to it, just letting the thoughts and images dance through my mind. However, one came up which I came to a full stop at. For a split second, I saw Swallow holding me in an embrace that was very, very different from the others. Her face was inches from mine, and she was drawing closer with every instant. I found myself feeling numb, and my heart was racing. But just as quickly as the image came to mind, I banished it with a rapid shake of my head.

Why did that image come to mind? I resumed my walking, forcing myself to think of something else. My heart was pounding, and I felt really full of energy all of a sudden. With a sigh of exasperation, I picked up the pace to get home. The whole time I was walking my mind kept trying to force that image into the foreground, and I kept forcing it down for reasons I couldn’t fathom. Even though that image brought such a large amount of happiness to my mind, it scared me at the same time. Every time it snaked its way back, I felt my heart beat harder.

I soon made it home, and made my way upstairs without a greeting to my family. Returning to my room, I sat down at the edge of my bed and started thinking. I ran over every moment I had spent with Swallow, analyzing them heavily. It only took a few minutes for a soft knocking to hit my door. “Come in,” I said, looking up. The door popped open, and Mom stepped in, a worried look on her face.

“Nettle, are you ok?” she asked softly, walking towards me. “You didn't say anything when you got home,”

“I'm fine, Mom. I just wanted to be by myself for a bit,” I answered, looking down slightly. A short silence filled the room, and all the while I was under moms searching gaze.

“Nettle, please. You don't need to hide from us,” she said, sitting down on her haunches.

“I'm not hiding from anypony. I just don’t want any distractions, is all,” I said, looking back up.

“It certainly feels like you've been hiding from us,” Mom said, voice taking a more serious edge.

“Been hiding?”

“Yes. Nettle, I'm not stupid. I can see it in your eyes. You're struggling with something, and don't want to share it with us. You've had that look for weeks now,” Mom explained, ears lowering. “You've barely talked to us, and when you have, it's always been short and clipped. It's like you're worried we might disapprove of you if you say something wrong.”

Mom got back to her hooves and came closer. I sat and waited. she was next to me on the bed, resting a foreleg over my back. I looked up at her, giving her a neutral stare. Her expression was a sad smile. I decided to speak up. “Well, that’s normal, isn’t it?”

“No, Nettle. It will never matter to me what you say or think. You are still my child, and I still love you. That's never going to change, no matter what happens.” She paused briefly, letting the words sink in. My eyes lowered, and I sighed.

“I find that hard to believe. There are a lot of things I could do that would make anypony hate me,” I mumbled.

“Not this pony,” Mom said, giving me a little squeeze. “It just wouldn't be right. What mother worth her bits would ever hate her own foal?”

“One that knew what was worth hating,” I replied, closing my eyes.

“That's what I was talking about. You're hiding from us by not letting us in. You're also hiding from us by not speaking your mind.”

“Not speaking my mind? I think I'm speaking my mind quite clearly,” I debated, opening my eyes.

“There’s more to you than you’re telling us. Something is troubling you, and we are all completely in the dark about it,” Mom explained, leaning down slightly so she could look me in the eyes. “Does it have to do with what we talked about yesterday?”

I bit my lip, but nodded. A long silence fell over us. Eventually, Mom smiled softly. “I think I get it,” she said.

“What do you mean?” I inquired, looking at her directly.

“Who is she?” Mom asked softly, giving me a reassuring pat. My heart rate spiked, and my body tensed slightly.

“I, uh... I don't know what-”

“Don't. I was your age once, too, so I know the signs. So go on and tell me, who’s your crush?” Mom asked, pulling me a little closer.

“I... Ugh... Fine, you win. It's Swallow,” I muttered, looking down. I could practically feel Mom beaming at me.

“See? Was that so hard?” Mom asked softly, giving me a gentle nudge. I didn't answer. “Have you told her how you feel?”

“No.” Silence dominated the room for a moment after I said that.

“Well, the sooner you let her know the sooner you can get it off your chest.”

“Get what off my chest?” I asked, looking back up at her.

“Do you know if she feels the same thing about you?” Mom asked, her smile much warmer than before.

“I don't know,” was my answer, my ears drooping. I wished I did, honestly.

“Well, there you go. You're feeling a heavy uncertainty, and that weight will drag you down until you can get it lifted. The only way to do that with this situation is to let her know how you feel, and see if she feels the same way,” she explained, the tone of experience in her voice.

“I... I don't know. I mean, aren't I a bit young to be worrying about this kind of thing?” I asked hesitantly.

“It's never too early to start testing the waters,” Mom said. She leaned down and gave me a kiss on the forehead, smiling at me afterwards. “I can't guarantee it will work out in your favor, but trust me when I say it will be better to get your answer now than later.” Mom stepped down from the bed, and smiled back at me. Without another word, she exited the room, closing the door behind her, and leaving me with my thoughts.

<^><^><^><^>

The rest of that day was pretty quiet. The whole time I was fighting an internal battle. On one hoof, I held such a strong desire to just tell Swallow how I felt. On the other hoof, I felt an unparalleled fear over what her response might be. I was worried about so many things, all of them directly tying in with the same issue. A lot of my fears I was able to dismiss as being completely illogical and bound to not happen, but it didn't keep them from surfacing.

Once we finished eating dinner, I found myself putting on my boots, scarf and coat. “Nettle? Where are you going?” Noctis asked me.

“For a walk,” I answered simply. I knew that there was no snow scheduled for today, so I knew I wasn't at risk of getting caught in a blizzard again. Before anypony could question me, I stepped out into the cold air. Everything was far quieter in the dusk's fading light. I started out at a slow pace. I began thinking over ways in which I could tell Swallow how I felt about her. My thoughts kept getting ejected as either being too sappy, too cheesy, or too unclear.

I soon came to a stop in a small park. I almost instantly recognized it as the same park Swallow and I had met in the day of that blizzard. I smiled to myself. With the light coating of snow, and the occasional tree around, I felt at peace. This night would spawn a new habit for me. A habit which persists even to this day. I started talking to myself. It was no more than a whisper, but the words came so easily.

“Hey, Swallow, I've been thinking recently. About a lot of things. You've been at my side since we met, and I at yours. I don't know about you, but I couldn't be more grateful. I can't think of any way I can even begin to repay you for being such a good friend. I daresay you're by far the best friend I've ever had.” I paused, as though listening to a reply, and chuckled quietly. “I'm aware, but it's true, Swallow.” As I talked to myself, an image began to paint itself into my mind. Swallow and I were in the town square, and she was blushing furiously at my compliment.

“That's sweet, Nettle. Thank you,” she said, smiling at me.

“You're very welcome,” I replied, falling into stride next to her as she started walking.

I knew it was just my imagination, but it all felt fantastically real. The snow was under our hooves, crunching with every step, the sun was shining, and I could hear the chit-chat of various ponies around us. I smiled over at Swallow, who still had a slight pink tint to her cheeks, which was quite adorable. “So, then...” I began, prompting Swallow to glance over at me. “Why are we out here?”

“I don't know. I just felt like walking through the snow, and you tagged along, remember?”

“Oh yeah.” We continued walking for several moments. All the while, I could feel a dancing warmth drifting through my veins. “Swallow?”

“Hm?”

“What are you thinking about right now?”

“Well... I'm thinking about how pleasant this is. I mean, no real worries, and even if there were any, I know you'd be there to help me fix them.”

I nodded. I'd always be there to help her fix her problems. “You got that right. What are friends for, after all? But...”

Swallow hesitated, and I stopped. She turned around to face me, a look of curious concern on her face. “What is it?” she asked, causing my smile to widen.

“Maybe I'd be able to help you more... If we were more than just friends,” I elaborated, taking a step closer to her. Her eyes widened, and her ears snapped to attention upon hearing that. I sat down directly in front of her, and held out a hoof. “Truth be told, I've felt like this for a while now. So, what do you say? More than friends?”

The image my mind painted next was spectacular. Swallow had this look of surprise on her face, which slowly reformed into the warmest smile I'd ever seen. She lunged at me, and gave me a tight hug. I laughed, and smiled to myself as the image faded. Sure, it was just an image painted by my imagination, but the image just seemed too good to pass up. I could feel it. This was going to work in my favor. Despite the cold of the snow, I suddenly felt beyond elated with this magnificent warmth, and my heart fluttered like a butterfly.

I kept picturing Swallow smiling at me in various different scenes. I'd take the first step towards making these images real the next time she and I crossed paths. I don't know for how long I was in that park, just running away with my imagination, and I don't care. This is one of my most treasured memories. Every time I think about it, even today, I still feel that warmth

When I finally fell out of my own little world, it had been almost an hour since I arrived in that park. I began the trip home, a bounce in my step. For the first time since I was attacked by Dusk Raider, I felt legitimately happy. No, this wasn't just happiness. This feeling exceeded any I'd ever felt before. The warmth in my chest, the fluttering of my heart, the way the warmth spread to every part of my body with every beat of my heart. It all added up. Even though I technically already knew this, it hit me so much harder when I really thought about it.

A beautiful Swallow had captured my heart, and I was perfectly fine with that. Even to this day, I can honestly say that my heart is still her’s, no matter what. What I say next has been true and will remain true until the day I die. Should you ever read this, Swallow, I want it to serve as a reminder. My smile widened as I whispered, “Twinkling Swallow... I love you.”

center]<^><^><^><^>[Swallow wasn't at school the next day. According to Cherilee, she had come down with a fever and would be staying at home for a few days to let it die down a bit. Naturally, I was worried, but I was still very distracted by the thoughts I had the previous night. My chirpy behavior that day did not go unnoticed. The end of school sounded by the loud ringing of the bell. I stepped out into the air, a broad smile on my face. I still felt warm and cozy, even with all of the snow.

“Nettle!” I heard a voice call. Glancing over, I saw Heartfelt Waltz waving at me. Teal Buckler was next to her, giving me a friendly smile. I trotted up to them.

“Hello, you two,” I said, smiling.

“You definitely seem to be doing better, Nettle,” Buckler said, lifting a hoof.

I smiled and bumped hooves with him. “Let's just say I found the motivation to cheer up,” Waltz beamed at me.

“That's great! What was your motivation?” she asked, bouncing slightly.

“Not to be rude, but that is my business,” I replied, placing a hoof on my chest as though I were making some kind of solemn vow. They both chuckled at my theatrics.

“Let me guess. You got a crush?” Waltz asked, a playful smirk spreading across her face. I halted, and my eyes snapped open. Waltz got a predatory grin. “Oh, I was right!”

“Uh, I... well, kinda...” I said, suddenly feeling really uncomfortable.

“Who is it?” Waltz asked, nudging my shoulder softly. I was about to tell her that was for me to know with a deadpan glare when Buckler cut in.

“Is it Swallow?” He asked.

“Um...”

“Come on, don't be shy,” Waltz said, chuckling. I sighed a moment later.

“Okay, jeez. You win. Yes, it's Swallow,” I mumbled. Waltz smirked.

“Buckler, you owe me 5 bits,” Walts said, smirking at him. Buckler groaned, and I glared at them.

“How long have you two been on this particular train of thought?” I asked, now a little annoyed.

“A couple of weeks,” Buckler replied, digging into his saddlebags. I slapped my forehead with my hoof. “Oh, relax. Take it from a pony whose had a fillyfriend; it is much easier to admit feelings to the special one if you tell others about it first.”

“Eh, I guess that makes sense,” I grunted. An awkward silence began to fill the air. I looked away from the two as Buckler got out his bits and gave them to Waltz.

“Have you told her yet?” Waltz asked.

“No, but I am planning on it,” I replied, looking back at her.

“Don’t wait too long. You’ll start to doubt yourself.” Buckler said, taking on a somewhat more serious note.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got it all planned out,” I said, that warm sensation spreading through me again.

“Well, good luck,” Buckler said, smiling. I smiled in response, gave him another hoof-bump, and then started on my way home.

<^><^><^><^>

I sent a letter to Swallow later that day.

Swallow,

I hate to be a bother, but when you get better would you like to meet somewhere? There are a few things I’d like to tell you. Don’t feel any need to reply right away. Just go ahead and send me a letter when you’re no longer sick, and we can go from there. Hope you get well soon.

-Stinging Nettle.

A couple of days went by. Each day I checked my mailbox, along with my window sill. Swallow had a habit of sending letters directly to my window, for ease of access, I suppose. On the third day, I got my reply.

Nettle,

Don’t worry, you’re not a bother. I’m glad that you want to see me get better. I’m not completely better, but I should be by tomorrow. I’ll meet you at the town plaza, if that’s a good point. Does just after school sound good?

-Twinkling Swallow.

And so it was decided. The following day, just after school, I began to make my way for the town plaza. I was nervous. Doubt after doubt began to form in my mind. What if she didn’t turn up? What if she said no? What if she was offended? These thoughts played out in countless little scenarios in my mind. I forced each one down, trying to remember that beautiful image my mind had given me that night in the park.

The smile, the hug, the words; Everything. I was almost there. Despite my nervousness, I was pretty giddy. If she let me in, if she felt the same way, I knew it would be the happiest day of my life. I smiled nervously, and looked around as I came into the plaza. It took me a moment, but I saw her. She was maybe thirty paces away, and drawing closer. I shoved down my doubts, and wore a smile. She wore the same smile.

I nodded quietly to myself, and made that first step forwards.

The Day My Heart Broke

View Online

There is one thing that I truly hate in many romance stories. I hate it when the couple just falls in love without a hitch. I despise that. There is so much more to it when you’ve been near the real deal. There are always flaws, disagreements, problems. The phrase ’happily ever after’ is a complete and utter lie. You can live happily, but you can’t keep it all the time for your whole life, like it or not.

Another thing I hate is the saying ‘it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’ Horse apples, I say. I consider having that love go unreturned as a form of losing. I’ve spoken to many others about this, and it seems to be a universal thing. The pain of being turned down is beyond agonizing. It rips your heart from your chest. Your very soul bleeds and cries in desperation to feel the one it longs for holding it close, to protect and be protected in return.

‘Love’. Four little letters that when put together name the strongest of all emotions. This emotion can lead ponies to do smart things and stupid things. It can lead to families being made, but also being torn apart. It’s a complicated thing, this “love”. I’ve felt it, and I still do. It can bring tears of joy. But in my case, all of those tears have been of sadness. I’ve cried so much, and I still do cry. And it is all because of this one moment, this one instant on that fateful day in the town plaza.

The day my heart broke.

<^><^><^><^>

“Hi, Nettle,” Swallow greeted, stopping in front of me. I came to a stop as well, smiling broadly.

“Hello,” I said, nodding gently. Swallow turned slightly and motioned with her head, beginning a slow trot. I fell into stride next to her. “So, how’s your cold?”

“It’s mostly gone. Just a slight bit of congestion in my sinuses and throat leftover,” Swallow replied, clearing her throat a second later. I nodded.

“I see.” There was a brief pause. “Any idea what next week’s weather is going to be like?”

“No. The schedule hasn’t been released yet,” she said. She looked over at me. “What about you? How are you doing?”

“I’m doing good. Great, in fact,” I answered, smiling at her. “Best I’ve been since Raider attacked me.” She grinned.

“That’s awesome, Nettle! Finally getting away from that, eh?”

“Yeah, I finally found the motivation to be happy,” I said.

“Sweet! What is it?” Swallow asked. The question came as no surprise, and while the answer was quite obviously ‘you,’ I chose not to say that. I figured it would be too sudden. I wanted to build up to my confession.

“It just came to me one day,” I said, looking over at her. There was warmth in her expression that made me giddy, and I had to keep myself under control.

“Good to know,” Swallow said. She gave my shoulder an affectionate pat with her hoof.

“So, how are things in your dream world?” I asked.

“Oh, things have really changed in the last few days. Most notably, we have a new enemy,” Swallow said.

“Oh? Who might that be?”

“It’s a necromancer calling himself Splintered Bones. He’s really creepy, and he’s raising an army of the dead to try and take Canterlot.”

“That’s not good.”

“Especially since he raised Longbow…” Swallow trailed off.

“Oh… Well, I’m not sure what to say to that. How do these undead behave?”

“They’re brutal, ruthless, and violent. They have no minds of their own,” Swallow explained, her voice a mixture of pity and disgust.

“Well, if that’s the case… It isn’t Longbow that Bones raised,” I said, glancing ahead.

“Huh?”

“It’s not him. The way I see it, the individual doesn’t reside in the body… but in the heart. No matter how familiar a face, if the heart and soul of the pony that it belonged to are no longer present, it isn’t the same pony,” I explained, turning my eyes over to Swallow. She nodded.

“I guess that makes sense. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

We walked on in silence. I took in the scenery around me. Ponies were everywhere, going about their business. I spotted a fair share of couples sitting at plaza-side café’s and outdoor restaurants. Some seemed to be flirting, others were kissing, and a few were just talking. I smiled as I looked over at Swallow. The fact that I might be taking part in such things with her before too long filled me with an indescribable joy.

However, the first step was actually confessing my feelings to her. I was getting sick of stalling already, even though we had only been walking for a couple of minutes.

“Say, what are you thinking about right now?” I asked.

“I want my cold to go the rest of the way away. I’m also thinking about my parents. They’ve been hiding something, and haven’t told me about it.” Swallow replied, looking down a street. I knew that it lead to her house. I realized I hadn’t met her parents yet. I decided not to get sidetracked, however, and continued.

“Well, if it turns out to be something bad, know that I’ll always be around to help you out,” I said softly, smiling. My heart started hammering in my chest. Swallow smiled at me.

“That’s very sweet of you, Nettle. Thank you,” she said, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “What about you? What are you thinking about?”

“A lot of things, actually. I’m thinking about how I got over my depression. I’m thinking about how you’ve stuck with me through my hardship. I’m also thinking about just how great of a friend you are,” I said, barely able to keep the nervous tremble out of my voice.

“Flatterer. I really do try to help,” she smiled over at me. I slowed my pace. Swallow strode ahead a bit, and then turned to face me as I stopped. She tilted her head in curiosity.

“Maybe we would be able to help each other more… if we were more than friends,” I said, looking at her carefully. The moment those words left my mouth, her ears perked up, and her eyes widened. I slowly took a couple of steps forward, and knelt in front of her. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. You mean the world to me, Swallow, so… what do you say? More than friends?” I lifted a hoof out to her.

There were several seconds of silence. My heart began to sink with fear and worry. Swallow moved. Slowly, she sat down, too, looking me in the eye. I couldn’t read her expression at all. My heart soared when she placed her own hoof atop mine.

But it shattered into a million pieces when she gently pushed my hoof down into the snow. I looked back up at her, opening my mouth to say something, anything, but she cut me off.

“Don’t, Nettle. Don’t say a word.” Her words were soft, and sad, like she felt sorry for me. “I know what you’re saying, but… I don’t feel the same way.” In that instant, my emotions fully caught up, and I felt the tears starting to hit my eyes. “I’m sorry, Nettle… But my answer is no.” Swallow slowly withdrew her hoof. I felt dead inside. It felt like the force of Dusk Raider and his punches multiplied a thousand times dealt directly to my heart.

Swallow looked at me with a searching, sorrowful gaze for several moments before sighing. “I’m sorry, Nettle, really, but I should go. You need to think this over a bit.” Swallow slowly backed away. I looked down at my hoof pressed into the snow. I could still feel residual warmth from the contact with Swallow. I slowly reached down with my other hoof, and rested it on top. The warmth faded away. I looked back up at Swallow, who was walking away, glancing over her shoulder at me.

I stared after her for several moments, until she finally disappeared around the corner of a house. The second she was out of my sight, my reality shattered. I collapsed into the snow, sobbing uncontrollably. I know that ponies came and asked if I was okay. I know ponies who knew my face sent for my parents. I remember countless voices, all blended together, trying to calm me down. Unfortunately, absolutely none of it worked. I clutched the hoof that Swallow touched to my chest, holding it as close as I could.

I remember my parents came. I remember mom lifting me onto her back, and taking me home. I remember being set down into my bed, and having soft tunes hummed to me. I remember staying there with my mother and my father by my side for a long time. And all the while, I cried. At points it was nothing more than quiet whimpers, but at other times it became screams of emotional agony.
Finally, as the sun set, my parents each hugged my crying form, gave me a kiss on the forehead, and went off to bed. I cried myself to sleep that night. The love of my life had just pushed me away. I lost my only chance, and now I was paying for my rash behavior. I began to attack myself, mentally. I demanded of myself why I was so quick. I demanded why I didn’t wait longer to tell her. Give her feelings a chance to shine and grow.

Now I’d never get that chance. She knew how I felt, and her answer today would prevent her from being able to feel the same way. I cried and cried until I fell asleep. And that night, my mind was filled with dreams of sorrow…

<^><^><^><^>

When I awoke the following morning, it was to the sound of a bird chirping on my window sill. I lifted my head, opening my tired eyes to behold Swallow’s messenger bird. It had a note tied to its leg. I clambered out of bed, and slipped the sheet of parchment out of the string holding it. I hesitated. Whatever this letter said, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to read it. However, I had no way of knowing for sure. Reluctantly, I unrolled the note, and began reading.

Nettle,

I’m sorry about leaving you like that yesterday. I thought that you needed time to think things over. You never showed up to school today, and your brother came by to let Cherilee know that you were unable to attend due to an emotional meltdown. I am so sorry, Nettle, really. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings like this.

I’m afraid I have some bad news. My parents have found a suitable house to move to in Canterlot, and have made arrangements to move there. That’s what they were hiding from me. We’ve already started packing things up. We are going to be leaving in a week.

Is it still a plan to keep in touch through letters? I still want to be your friend, Nettle. You’re a very, VERY good friend, and I really don’t want to lose that. If you don’t want to be friends anymore, though, I understand. Considering how badly I hurt your feelings, I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to forget me.

I’d say more, but I’m short on time at the moment. Please, write back soon, okay?

-Twinkling Swallow

I choked down a sob, but still managed a weak smile. I might not be able to be her coltfriend, but I could still be a friend regardless. I could live with that. I set the letter to the side, and started my reply.

Swallow,

I’m not mad at you, Swallow. You have nothing to be sorry for. Of course we can still be friends, and of course we can keep in touch. I’m not quite ready to see you again, though. Just let me know a day or so in advance when you’re going to leave, and I’ll see you at the train station.

-Stinging Nettle

It was short. Barely able to be considered a paragraph. It said what I wanted it to say, though. I turned to the bird, and fitted the new letter into the string. “Go on. Take it home,” I urged softly. The bird chirped, and took flight. I stared after it for several moments. My eyes lowered. Swallow was leaving, then. Off to Canterlot in about a week. I nodded slowly to myself. Maybe it was for the best. If I couldn’t reach her, it would prevent me from doing something I’d regret.

A pony overcome with grief, love, jealousy or denial is capable of doing horrible things. Despite the answer I received yesterday, I still loved her. I’d never hurt her if I had anything to say about it. I knew that it would be unwise to talk to her in my current emotional state, so I chose not to. The letters were just ink on a sheet of parchment. There was no living substance there for me to hurt or abuse.

I turned to my door as I heard it slowly open. Mom stood there, looking at me sadly. “Are you doing okay now, Nettle?” She asked gently, slowly stepping into the room.

“No. I need some time.” I answered, my voice hoarse from all of the crying I had done the previous night.

“We never really heard what happened. What made you so upset?”

I winced, and looked away. Silence prevailed for several seconds. “I… I’m not really ready to talk about that yet…” I muttered. Mom sighed, but nodded.

“Just... Take it easy today, okay?”

“I will.” The door closed. I lowered my gaze and fell into thought. What was I going to do now? I wasn’t ready to see Swallow again, and I had no will to talk to anypony. I glanced over at my desk, and saw my stack of blank papers. What could I do with those? I started walking in circles, the time starting to drag. Finally, I glanced behind me at the window as a breeze came through. I caught a glimpse of my cutie mark as I did so.

I paused. There was the red quill, and a tear coming out of it in place of ink. My eyes rested on the red feather for several moments. I nodded silently, and walked over to my desk. Okay, then. That was what I’d do. I’d tell a story. I didn’t know what I’d tell yet, so I just started scribbling on the first page. Ideas began to come forward, and eventually, on my second sheet, I had started writing my first actual story. One that could be considered good, anyways.

it was called “The Dead Heart”. It wasn’t long, as I only wrote three pages for it. It was about me, practically, just vague. I hesitated many, many times, not wanting to use names, or places. Two hours after I started, I had finished. It was no more than a short story, simply there to get the emotion out of my system. It worked, though only slightly.

Even to this day, thinking back to that day in the town plaza, I still feel the sorrow stabbing my heart like a sharp spear. There is no escaping it. I love her more than anything. I’d step into fire if it meant protecting her. I’d take a million strikes from Dusk Raider to keep her safe. So many things I would do, just to make sure she could stay alive, and hopefully stay happy.

I was happy to defend her against Diamond Tiara’s snobbish bragging and persistent bullying. I was there to comfort her when Longbow died before her.

None of it was ever returned. That smile I gave her when I held out my hoof had a warmth and love in it beyond any I’d ever given before. No smile I’ve ever gotten from Swallow even came close. Every hug we’ve ever shared, I put more of my soul in than she did.

Most ponies, when they get turned down by somepony they think they love, don’t get this bad. Many believed I was over-reacting. The fact is: they did not understand at the time what love really is. They may have cared for that friend in a deeper way than others, but they looked for much more than what was actually there. The rejection didn’t hurt as much because of this.

The facts are simple and clear as day to me. I know what love really is. I experienced it first hoof. I felt its comforting warmth. I felt the cold, dead sensation of rejection, magnified by the knowledge that I will never get that love returned. I love her so much…

But she never loved me.

The Departure

View Online

Looking back at the pages I’ve already written, it occurs to me that a lot of the stuff that was important happened in the events I’ve already covered. There is still a ways to go, and a little less than five years to cover, but after this chapter, I am expecting things to speed up significantly. In the five or so days that followed, I did very little. I went to school, but it was all just one big blur. I didn’t know this yet, but my grades were seriously starting to decline.

I spotted Swallow while at school, but I refused to go to her. I could barely look at her without feeling either angry with myself or sad because of the rejection. Either way, on the sixth day since she and I met in the town plaza, I received a letter.

Nettle,

It’s time. My parents and I have packed everything up. We’re moving to Canterlot tomorrow. We’re taking an early train, so if you want to say goodbye, you’ll need to skip class. I’m going to miss this town, but I’m sure it’ll all be fine. I’ll see you at the train station, okay?

-Twinkling Swallow.

My heart sank when I read that. I knew that it was going to be a very long time until I saw her face-to-face again after the next day. I needed to make the best of my last moments seeing Swallow with my own eyes. My only regret is that I could’ve done so much more.

<^><^><^><^>

I didn’t bother brushing my teeth after breakfast that morning. I didn’t bother fixing up my mane or anything. I was too distracted by what was coming, and wanted to get there as soon as possible. I made my way through the cold snow, wearing my favorite coat and boots. Some of the ponies at the train station gave me curious glances as I settled down off to the side. I began thinking about what I wanted to say. Nothing came to mind that sounded good. I knew there were only a few minutes until the train left, so it was just a matter of time until I spotted Swallow.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I saw her head in one of the windows. I stood and waved frantically. Luckily, she noticed. She smiled at me, and then turned to somepony next to her that I couldn’t fully see. The exchange went on for a few moments until she nodded at me, and disappeared from the window. A moment later, she stepped out of the train. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and made my approach.

We came to a stop in front of each other. Swallow had a searching gaze about her. I lowered my eyes, feeling as though there might be something in them she wouldn’t like. As I stared at the wooden floor of the platform, I saw a white hoof reach out and lift my chin. I didn’t resist. Swallow was now smiling at me. A moment later, she was hugging me. It wasn’t a tight hug; it wasn’t needy or loving. It was comforting.

I returned the hug. For several moments, Swallow and I sat there, just hugging each other. Swallow finally leaned back to look me in the eyes. “Are you going to be alright?” she asked softly.

“I just need some time,” I replied. “What about you? Do you think Canterlot will make for a good home?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out when I get there.”

Silence prevailed for several moments. I wanted to say something, but the words didn’t come. Finally, I was able to mutter, “I’m sorry…”

Swallow tilted her head at me. “Sorry for what?” she asked.

“I’m sorry for… I don’t know. I just feel the need to apologize for something,” I replied quietly, looking down again.

“Nettle, whatever you’re apologizing for, I can guarantee now, you don’t need to. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Swallow gave my shoulder a pat, and I looked back up at her.

“All aboard!” Swallow looked back over her shoulder, then turned her gaze back to me.

“I’m sorry, Nettle. I really, really am sorry. I have to go now… Goodbye.” She hugged me close for maybe a second, and then turned, galloping back for the train door.

“Remember to write!” I called after her. She nodded over her shoulder at me before disappearing into the train. A moment later, the wheels began to turn. I slowly walked to the edge of the platform as the train began to pull away. I saw Swallow’s head in the window. She looked down at me, and gave me a smile. I smiled in return, and then it was over. Her head disappeared as the train sped away. Swallow was gone.

<^><^><^><^>

It was a week later when I received the first letter. I was sitting idly in my room, reading in a book I had borrowed from Waltz. It was a fairly interesting book, though nothing overly special. It was a story about an elder Dragon that waged war with Equestria. It was a very intense book. Anyways, I had just turned the page to begin the next chapter when a knocking came to my door. “Come in,” I called. The door opened, and I turned to see Noctis stepping in.

“Hey, Nettle. A letter came in the mail for you,” Noctis said, sliding the envelope along the floor to me.

“Thanks, Noctis,” I said, picking up the letter. Noctis nodded and backed out, closing the door behind him. I set the envelope on my desk, pulled it open, and took out the letter. It was from Swallow.

Nettle,

We’re all the way moved in. This house is huge! It’s much larger than my Ponyville home. There’s this huge room with a big fireplace for the living room, and no matter where in the house you are, you can feel it’s warmth. An enchantment on the stonework spreads the heat everywhere. It’s amazing. But it just doesn’t feel like home, yet. I met so many amazing ponies in Ponyville, and now I feel like a total outcast here.

I’m going to start attending a new school in a few days, once I’ve got everything set up. It’s not just one room, though. This place is big. It has several teachers, several rooms, and multiple stories. It’s also got a much wider range of classes, too. From what I’ve heard, though, this school has a much higher standard of behavior.

Anyways, how are you doing? Are you feeling better? I kind of want to apologize again for leaving you in the snow. It was cowardly, and not the right thing to do. I know you’ve said you’ve forgiven me, but it’s always harder than just saying it to actually forgive somepony. I’d write more, but I need to take care of getting set up for the new school. Write back soon, okay?

-Twinkling Swallow

I smiled softly. Well, it certainly seemed like things were going at least fairly well for her. It still left me feeling cold inside when I got to her apology. It also got me thinking; did I forgive her for that? She left me alone and crying in the cold snow, and offered very little comfort while it was happening. I lowered my gaze and decided I’d think about it later. With that decided, I drew out a sheet of parchment, and started on the reply.

Swallow,

I’m not entirely sure what I’m feeling about that incident. I mean, I still feel sad about it, but I won’t try to change your answer. I know I’m not going to get more by pushing for it. All that will do is distance us even more. As for forgiving you, we’ll see where that boat floats.

But I don’t want to talk about that topic a whole lot. Let’s avoid it for now. Bad memories as I’m sure you can imagine. Anyways, tell me more about this school. I’m sure by the time you get this, you’ll have started your new classes, and I’m curious as to what you’re taking.

-Stinging Nettle.

I examined the letter for a moment before setting it off to the side. The mail had come and gone. I’d send it tomorrow. I was about to resume reading my book when I looked back to Swallow’s letter. Something then caught my eye. I had yet to throw away a single one of her letters. All of the ones I had received were currently resting on my desk. I ran my hoof slowly over the top of the pile. I glanced around my room, and spotted an empty lockbox not far off.

I wasn’t really thinking when I did this, but I took the letters from Swallow, and gently set them into the wooden box. I had received this box on my birthday about two years ago. I had never really had much of a use for it before. Still, I looked at the box with a soft smile before closing the lid.

<^><^><^><^>

Weeks began to pass. Letters started flying back and forth between Swallow and I. Her school was strict but fun, according to her. She made a few new friends, but she said they weren’t as close to her as her Ponyville friends. There was a very high standard there that she had to deal with, even from other students. But above all, she and her family were doing well, which was good enough for me.

Regardless, I never felt completely content. Every time I got a letter from Swallow, my heart sank at the memory of being turned down in that snowy plaza. I always closed her letters with a sigh, and hesitated before I finally got back on track and wrote my reply. Sometimes, I’d wake up and find my cheeks stained with tears. It was no secret to my family that I wasn’t doing great. I once heard Dad asking Mom if she knew why I was feeling bad. I remember halting as I descended the stairs to listen in.

Mom had a good idea of what happened to me. The day I got shot down in the plaza still haunted my memory, and she knew it had something to do with that. I hid my sadness behind a mask, so to speak, but it was clear to everpony around me-my emotions were a mess.

It was a Tuesday. The mail had come a bit earlier than normal. I picked through it with Noctis until we found our respective items. I went back upstairs with the Letter from Swallow, and started reading once I was secluded in my room.

Nettle,

I hope things are going well for you. They aren’t going perfectly for me at the moment. Some of the upper-class kids have seen fit to start harassing me. There isn’t a whole lot I can do about it, and they are really good at what they do. They aren’t as bad as Diamond Tiara, but still. It’s very frustrating, and they won’t leave me alone. I’ve tried reporting them to my teachers, but nothing has changed. I get the feeling that the ponies in charge don’t mind a ‘small fry’ like me getting stepped on.

Aside from those two, I’m doing ok. My sister never got to meet you, I realized. She’s right next to me at the moment, and she just wants to say hi, as well as thank you for sticking up for me against Diamond Tiara.

At any rate, is there anything new you want to tell me?

-Twinkling Swallow

I blinked. Swallow had a sister? Well, that was interesting. I didn’t let it distract me, though, as I started immediately on my reply.

Swallow,

Don’t worry too much about those bullies, okay? I mean, from the way you described them, I’m just going to assume that they are simply saying things to and about you. I’d just ignore them if I were you. If you don’t give them any sort of reaction, they’ll lose interest sooner or later, and you will be good to go.

In other news, I never even knew you had a sister. Let her know I say hi in return, and that it was my pleasure to help you out.

-Stinging Nettle

I nodded at my writing before setting it off to the side to be mailed tomorrow. I took Swallow’s letter, and placed it inside of the box in which I’d been keeping them. I had developed a small stack by now, maybe twelve pages. I glanced up as there was a knock on my door. “Come in,” I said, closing the box. Dad stepped in, looking at me with a concerned expression.

“Hey, Nettle,” he greeted, stepping in fully and closing the door behind him. I smiled in greeting.

“Hello. What do you need?” I asked, stepping up to him.

“I just need to ask you if you’re doing alright,” he said.

“I’m fine, why?” I asked, not wanting to worry him. I figured it was a bit late for that, but still, I just wanted to alleviate some of his concerns.

“Well, your mother brought this up, and mentioned that she talked to you about a crush you were having. Any truth to that?” he asked, and I looked down.

“Well, yeah… But that’s all it was. It was just a crush, nothing more,” I lied, trying to get him to change the topic. I really did not want to discuss this at the moment. He narrowed his eyes at me, and I knew there would be no such luck.

“Nettle, don't lie to me, please. I know you're emotionally in pain. It's clear as day. All I want to know is what's causing the pain,” Dad pressed, and I shrunk away a bit.

“I just...” I hesitated. I could feel my chest starting to tremble. “I just didn't want to be alone...”

“Son?” Dad asked quietly. I was trembling all over, now. I tried helplessly to choke down my initial sob. Dad slowly approached, and pulled me into a hug. “You aren't alone,” he said quietly.

“And yet I've never felt more alone in my whole life,” I replied, burying my tearing eyes into his shoulder. “I watch you and Mom... I see young couples out there with each other, hugging, kissing, enjoying each other’s company… and all the while, I am left alone. Why? Why do I have to be alone?!” I shouted the last part before breaking down completely. Dad held me close the entire time. I found myself sitting there for a long time, just crying my eyes out.

“Nettle, while it's good to try these things while young, you still have a lot of life ahead of you. One failed attempt isn't going to be the end of your world. You'll find somepony else, I'm sure,” Dad assured, patting my back.

“I'm not so sure of that,” I said, struggling to keep my voice coherent. I didn't speak any further, though. We simply sat there for a long while before Dad slowly started to let go. I glanced up at him, and he smiled down at me.

“Well, I am. And believe me when I say it won't always work out the way you want it to. You’re going to get a few broken hearts here and there. But never let that stop you. You'll find that happiness you crave. That, I can promise you.” He ruffled my mane for a second before backing off. “Think about that for a while, okay?”

“I will,” I answered weakly. Dad smiled, before stepping out, closing the door behind him.

<^><^><^><^>

And so I thought about it. It made a lot of sense. I was still young, and would thus have a lot of chances to find the one meant for me. But something about that line of thought just didn’t feel right. It was as if the mere idea was wrong. I chose to ignore that feeling, however. I wouldn’t go hunting for anypony since I’d seen how badly that could go. In this case, if I found them, I’d let them come to me. If they chose not to, I’d move on.

But despite that resolution, I still didn’t feel right. I assumed at the time that it was a result of me not knowing where to start, and it was that in part. But there was a lot more to it that I was oblivious to. It was similar to looking into a really deep pit. You can see some of it, but the stable surface at the bottom is invisible.

I watched through the windows as the days passed. The snow had melted, and winter wrapped up. Spring had struck which meant I was a season closer to summer vacation. Swallow’s reply never showed up that week. I just assumed then that she was too busy to write to me yet. The following day things would start to happen that when I look back on I am not too proud of.

It was a Friday, and school was just starting. There were rumors going around about a new student, but I hadn’t seen them yet. I was curious, but all in all wasn’t as interested as others. I glanced up as the door opened. Miss Cherilee stepped in, followed by a dark blue, though not as dark as Waltz, pegasus filly, with a messy, unkempt red mane and tail. She was about my age. She glanced about the room shyly, and stood at the front with Cherilee.

“Good morning, class! Today, I want to introduce our newest student. She is here from Cloudsdale, so give her a warm welcome,” Cherilee announced, resulting in some nods and greetings from the crowd. “Go on and introduce yourself.”

The young pony stepped forward once, and cleared her throat. “Um... Hi,” Her voice was quiet, and reserved, and had a certain edge to it that I’d heard before. It was that edge of depression Swallow expressed after Longbows death. The pony hesitated before saying, “I’m Starless Night.”

The Fragile

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The next two or so months passed without anything interesting happening. Swallow and I kept sending letters to each other, though. I remember she was able to get those bullies dealt with appropriately, which was good. Now, looking back on this, I realize that I picked up a lot on my surroundings without even really thinking about it. For example, Starless Night was very quiet and always kept to herself. She had a small circle of friends she always spent time with, but aside from them she always seemed to be a loner.

And even when she spent time with them, she always seemed to prefer sticking to herself. It was odd, really, as I'd never been able to read fillies before at any level. Yet with her, I could tell genuinely what emotion she was feeling even from a large distance. I didn't even really notice, at the time. It was almost like she was an open book to me with a lot of the words blurred. The general feeling was there, but the reasons or situations were lost to me.

But that wasn't what was bugging me. What was bugging me was the fact that Swallow had recently fallen ill. I didn't know the specifics, but it was slowing down her letters considerably. However, amongst that fog there was a point of good news. She was hoping to convince her parents to spend the night in Ponyville during Nightmare Night at some point. She didn't make any promises, but it was still a point of hope.

It was the beginning of the next school week when a turn took place. Something I frankly wasn't expecting. And it would lead into a series of events that to this day I question. Every time I think of this chain of events, I find myself questioning exactly what I was thinking. I'm still drawing a blank on that.

<^><^><^><^>

The sun was just barely peeking over the horizon. I was really early on the school grounds today. I didn't really care that much, as it would give me proper time to go over what I needed to do over the course of the week. There were a couple essays coming up, and I had been stalling on those. I began running through in my head how best to go about getting all of that set up and done. I seated myself at a tree, and dug into my saddlebags for my research rubric.

A sudden sound caught my attention. It was behind the schoolhouse, and it sounded like a hard impact on wood. I hesitated, and returned to my saddlebags, only for the noise to repeat itself. I sighed, set down my saddlebags, and made my way for the back of the school house. I wasn't sure what to expect, but what I found startled me to standing still.

Starless Night was there, her forehead pressed against the wood of the house and tears streaming down her cheeks. I watched silently for a second as she sat back. What the hay was she doing? Another instant later, and she slammed her forehead into the wood with a considerable amount of force. The sound made me cringe, now that I was closer. I acted on instinct, and galloped towards her.

I know she heard me, as her ears perked up. She didn't move to leave or try and tell me off, instead she simply smashed her head once more into the wall. A moment later, and I was next to her, wrapping my forelegs around her, and yanking her away from the wall. She grunted as we collapsed to the ground, and turned an angry purple eye towards me. “Get lost!” She hissed, before slamming her hoof into my gut.

She was strong, despite how skinny she was. Then again, it might have simply been that I wasn't expecting the blow. The air got knocked out of me as I released her and clutched at my gut. She got up and glared down at me. Her eyes were bloodshot, and stained with tears. I slowly stood up, keeping my eye on her the whole while. “Ugh... What the heck was that for?!” I demanded.

“That was for not minding your own business!” Starless snapped at me, glare intensifying.

“Look, I don't know what's going on, but if I see somepony trying to beat their own brains out on the wall of the school I attend, I like to think it's reasonable to investigate and end the self-harm.” I said, groaning after as the pain in my gut flared slightly.

Starless scoffed at me. “This has nothing to do with you, so just walk away.” She said angrily, stomping a hoof for emphasis.

“I don't care that it has nothing to do with me. All I want is to know why you were hurting yourself.” I said, leveling out my tone to sound calm.

“It's a long and complicated story, and I don't want to tell it to a stranger.” She said, her voice growing quieter. Her eyes lowered slightly, and I saw tears welling up in the again. My eyes widened slightly when she started trembling, and she let out a quiet sob.

“Hey... what happened to you?” I asked carefully.

“Why do you care?” She demanded through the near silent crying. She was keeping her tone level and calm, despite the fact she was crying.

“I... I'm not sure. You’re my class mate, so I guess I just want to make sure you’re okay, at least.” I said, choosing my words carefully.

Starless looked back up at me with an unbelieving gaze. “I don't buy it. Nopony has ever cared before.” She said quietly, also sitting.

“What about your family?” I asked, though I had a feeling the answer wouldn't be a good one.

“They don't care either.” Starless muttered, closing her eyes.

“I find that hard to believe. But even if that's the case, there are ponies that care. I've seen you hanging out with your friends, so their must be somepony who cares.” I said, carefully glancing over my shoulder. A disruption right now would be bad.

“They don't ever seem to get it. Please, just go away.” Starless said, looking back up at me. Her eyes had this pleading look to them, and I found I no longer wished to intrude. I sighed heavily, and started to turn away.

“I'll go on one condition.” I said, looking back over at her.

“What?”

“Stop hurting yourself.” I said, and walked away.

<^><^><^><^>

The next few days sped by, and I now found myself keeping my eye on Starless. She never looked at me, but just kept to herself. I checked behind the school house every day and found that she had stopped beating her head there, unless she simply chose a different time to do that. Either way, I chose not to disturb her, and instead focused on getting my grades up. Things began to blur together for me. Swallows letters started coming more frequently, and it was confirmed that she'd gotten over her illness.

I couldn't help but smile when I read that. It had been a pretty rough sickness, if her descriptions were accurate. I have no doubt they were, but still. The time continued to fly, days turning to weeks, and weeks turning to months. I eventually forgot about the time I found Starless pounding her head into the wall. The end of the school year was rapidly approaching, and I began to grow excited. However, maybe two weeks before the last day of school, the time I stopped Starless from hurting herself on the school wall would re-enter the foreground of my mind.

<^><^><^><^>

The final bell rang for the day, and I started to make my way home. It was a cloudy day, and rain was scheduled for later. Luckily, today had been fairly easy, and light on the stress. I glanced up, however, as I heard a shout. A few ponies were standing, dumbfounded, as Starless Night galloped away from them, another pony with a bright blue coat and a silver mane hot on her tail. Starless' head was down, and the other pony looked worried. Starless glanced up, tears in her eyes, and unfurled her wings. At her age, flying shouldn't have been a problem if she could focus, but I saw anything but focus in her eyes.

I saw desperation in her eyes. Desperation and fear. She flapped her wings hard, and lifted off of the ground, flying straight for me. I ducked, allowing her to soar straight over my head. The pony chasing her, now visible as a male, shot past me, and the other two followed after. “Just let her go, Mint!” One of the two shouted at the blue one. He came to a stop, watching as Starless flew off.

One of the two, a faded green female unicorn with a purple mane, came up to his side, and rested a hoof on his shoulder. “It's okay, Mint. She'll come around,” she said gently, looking at Mint sadly. “But you should still apologize.”

“I don't even know what I said!” Mint snapped, glaring at his friends. Then his eyes fell on me, and he paused. I took a step back, wanting to just run for home. Mint slowly walked up to me, green eyes searching.

“Uh... can I help you?” I asked hesitantly, leaning away slightly.

“You're Stinging Nettle, right?” Mint asked, ignoring my prior question.

“Yes, why?” I said, feeling more and more nervous by the second. Mint's gaze was piercing.

“Can I ask a favor of you?” he asked suddenly, and I raised an eyebrow.

“Depends, what is it?”

“Can you go and check on Starless for me? I heard about how you got her away from the wall. I think she might listen to you.” Mint said, piercing gaze softening slightly. I looked at him in confusion.

“Why would she listen to me? The last time I approached her, she smacked me in the gut.” I said, wincing at the memory.

“Well, she stopped hurting herself. And she said it was you that made her stop. She listened to what you had to say, and actually acted on it. I’ve never been able to do that.” Mint pressed, taking another step closer. The look in his eyes was practically begging me to do him this favor. “Please, I just want to know she’s going to be okay.”

“Ugh… alright, but I’m not going in blind,” I finally relented after several moments. “Tell me what happened.”

“I’m not exactly sure what set her off like that. I simply asked her how one of her friends was doing, and she ran off.” Mint explained, lowering his gaze slightly.

“Did something happen between them?” I asked cautiously, figuring I could see where this was going.

“I don’t know, but based on her reaction, I can only assume so…” Mint said, leading into a short silence.

“Alright, I’ll talk to her.” I said, and started walking at a brisk pace after Starless. I heard Mint utter a quiet thank you before I was out of earshot. I wandered around for a little bit, looking at the spots I normally spotted her at in passing. She wasn’t at any of them, and I couldn’t help but pick up the pace a bit. From what I’d seen, she had been pretty upset, and I didn’t even know her. I began to figure I should find Mint and see if I could get any answers out of him about where I could find her when I heard a quiet sniffle.

I paused and my ears twitched. I heard it again, clearer this time, now that I had stopped moving. I was right next to the school house, and I felt my ears droop against my head. The sniffling was coming from behind the school house. I slowly started walking, figuring I wouldn’t like what I was about to see. I didn’t like it at all, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Starless was sitting there with her back to the schoolhouse, gazing down at the ground. I hesitated, and just watched her.

She was a mess. Her mane was ruffled up, her coat was dirty and from what little I could see of her eyes, they were bloodshot. I slowly made my approach, trying to be as quiet as possible. “I can hear you, ya know.” She muttered. I threw being quiet out the window and picked up the pace a little bit.

I didn’t say anything at first, but came to a stop when I was a few paces away. She looked up at me, making eye contact. Her eyes were definitely bloodshot. “What do you want?” She asked quietly, voice hoarse.

“I want to make sure you’re going to be okay. I saw you flying off and your friends looked really worried about you.” I replied, keeping my voice as gentle as I could. She grunted and looked away.

“I’ll be fine…” She mumbled, barely audible.

“Well, clearly you’re not fine right now. Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked, bending my knees slightly so as to be at eye level with her. She muttered something, but it wasn’t audible. I shifted a little closer. “Huh? What was that?”

“Kill me…” She said, louder this time. Everything seemed to freeze at that moment as my eyes widened. She wanted to die? I didn’t believe her.

“Don’t say things like that. Whatever you’re going through can’t possibly-“

“You don’t get it!” Starless snapped at me, causing me to shut my mouth and listen. “Nopony ever gets it! I have to go day by day with parents who never look out for me. I have to deal with ponies who take advantage of my stupidity, ponies that lie to me, hurt me, and leave me when I need help the most!” She was screaming now, and her eyes were starting to get wet again. I was silent, dumbfounded at her words. I didn’t know how much was exaggeration, but clearly this was serious if she was legitimately crying.

“Then how about this?” I suddenly said, words leaving my mouth before I really even processed what I was saying. “How about I stick by your side, and help you out? At least until you’re better?”

“W-what?” Starless asked, glancing up at me with a shocked expression. I put on a smile.

“I’m not sure what all is going on, but I can tell it’s pretty bad. I’ve seen a lot of young foals crying over trivial things that they get over really rapidly. But you, on the other hoof, are crying from things that are far more serious. I know that because of how long you’ve been like this. I’m volunteering to help you get through those problems.” I explained, standing up fully. Starless stared at me, with a mix of surprise and joy on her face. It suddenly darkened into a look of suspicion, however.

“How can I trust you?” She asked, standing up to look at me. “I don’t even really know you. Why do you want to help me?”

“Because I’m having to sit through a broken heart. It isn’t something I’d wish upon anypony. If I can, I’ll take every step possible to lift you out, even if only because I don’t like seeing ponies cry.” I said, and she looked down. For several seconds it was silent. Then she started to walk towards me. A few seconds later, and I found she was hugging me. My mind shut down for a second as she squeezed me close.

“Thank you…” She muttered quietly.

<^><^><^><^>

I brought Starless back to her friends, who then talked to her in private while I headed home. Starless and I agreed that we would meet behind the school-house in the mornings to talk, which I felt good about. Something about helping a pony in need made me feel good. I soon made it home, where mom passed me a letter from Swallow.

Nettle,

Schools almost out for the year over here and, if I recall correctly, it’s almost out for you as well. My family is planning our summer vacation, but hasn’t decided on where to go yet. I asked them about it, and we might be going to Ponyville over the summer! I don’t want to get your hopes too high, though, as my parents were never particularly fond of it. I’ll try to drop some subtle hints, as it would be really nice to get to see you and the others again.

So, what’s going on with you? Anything new or special that I should know about?

-Twinkling Swallow.

I felt ecstatic as I read that letter. I might get to see Swallow face-to-face again! This would be far sooner than I anticipated if so. Still, when I finished reading I tried to quell my rising excitement. She said maybe. It wasn’t definite. I still found myself hoping that she could come back, even if only for a couple of weeks. I started on my reply. I don’t remember everything I wrote down, but I do know the last few sentences I put on the paper.

I don’t think I ever mentioned this to you, but shortly after you left for Canterlot, we got a new student at the school. She’s having a really rough time, so I’ve decided I’m going to help her. Her name is Starless Night.

The Beginning Of A Lie

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I’ve come to realize that lying, especially lying to yourself, is very easy. It’s a subconscious means of defense from painful emotions. We tell ourselves things, and they somehow become true in our eyes. That is, until the cold hard truth breaks down the shield of lies we put up around ourselves. The negative feelings hit like a tsunami, and we are at our most vulnerable when that happens. We no longer know what to think or feel, and that confusion drags us down even further.

Lying to others, especially when protecting you or your friends, is just as easy. I should know. Somepony close to me lied once to protect me. But that’s a story for another time. The reason I bring this up is that for the next few months of my life, I’d be living in a lie, ignorant to the truth that was lurking in the shadows of my mind, and whispering in my ear to let it in. I wouldn’t have any of that, however, and floated in my ignorance for quite some time.

And what lie is it that I told myself, you may be wondering? Allow me to explain…

<^><^><^><^>

Starless was waiting behind the schoolhouse, like always. I stretched slightly as I approached, a little groggy from a poor night’s sleep. She smiled up at me from her sitting position. She didn’t smile often, but it was good to see it. It meant I was making progress. “Hey, Star.” I said, using the shortened version of her name that I had come to like. She nodded and stood up.

“Hi.” A few seconds passed before I made my way next to her.

“So, how are things? Is everything going alright?” I asked, glancing over and carefully analyzing her expression. She looked genuinely pleased to see me, but there was an underlying nervousness to her that I picked up on.

“Yeah, things are going great. Well, that might be an exaggeration. Things are… well, they’re better.” She settled on, nodding to herself.

“That’s awesome, Star. What exactly got better, though, if you don’t mind me asking?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“Well, my parents stopped harping on me about my grades, thank Celestia. And I got free reign to spend the day in town, instead of going straight home, like normal.” Star explained, the nervousness bleeding into her voice just a little bit.

“Sounds like fun.” I said simply, looking up. There was only a week left in school. I took a moment to really think about that. Who knows? Swallow might be able to make it over. That would be nice, if it happened. I still maintained a healthy dose of skepticism, by Swallow’s request.

“It does, I was actually hoping to drag you along with me.” Star said, looking over at me as I turned a curious glance in her direction.

“Oh? Why?” I asked, knowing that she didn’t need anypony to show her around in the first place.

“Oh, you know. I would like some company.” Star said, the nervousness creeping up on her again. I raised an eyebrow.

“You’ve generally been more of a loner, and only talk to me before school. Why the change of heart?”

“I dunno.” Star said, looking away. “I guess I just kind of want to know you a bit better, since we’re always talking about me and my problems.”

“I guess that makes sense.” I muttered, tilting my head slightly. I sensed some other motive, but I wouldn’t question it right now. “What would you even be doing around town?”

“I dunno.” Star repeated, shrugging her shoulders. “Whatever comes to mind?”

“Well, thinking ahead never hurts.” I said, wondering why she was so vague. I mean, sure. She was generally vague, but she also generally had some kind of plan lined up.

“Be that as it may, I feel like taking it easy today.” Star said, stretching her wings a bit. She had a bright look on her face, much brighter than I was honestly used to seeing. But there was still that underlying nervousness. Okay, screw it.

“You sound a bit uneasy about this.” I said casually, glancing over at her.

“Oh, well… I was kinda teased about my decision to take you with me by some of my friends.” She said, voice lowering in volume slightly.

“What, did they think we’re going on a date, or something?” I asked, finding the idea amusing.

“Kinda…” Star replied, sitting back down. She looked away from me, and I noticed how she was tilting her head down. Yeah, her friends definitely thought it was a date. Judging by how she was hiding her face from me, I could only assume she partially believed them.

“Well, don’t worry about them. Just try to have fun. So, where do you want to meet up at?” I inquired, smiling pleasantly.

“Um… I hadn’t really thought of that. In front of the school after class is out, I guess?”

“That works for me.”

<^><^><^><^>

The market was pretty busy that day, for some reason. Class had gotten out a little under an hour ago, and Star and I were meandering aimlessly through the Ponyville market with no idea what to do. truth be told, I was very bored, but Star definitely seemed to be in a good mood. I didn’t feel like spoiling that, so I kept pace and kept her company. She kept glancing over at me, looking away when I returned the glance. As we wandered, we heard a high-pitched calling from not far away. I recognised that voice. Anypony who had lived in Ponyville for more than a minute had heard it at least once.

“Free ice-cream samples! Come and get it!” Pinkie pie called at her counter, waving her forelegs frantically.

“That sounds yummy.” Star remarked, trotting in the direction of the stand. I inwardly groaned. Last time I talked to Pinkie pie, I got my head stuck in a balloon. Don’t ask. Trust me, it wasn’t fun.

“Be careful around this one. She’s… kinda crazy.” I said, following after Star at a somewhat slower pace.

“I’ve met her, but she’s a fantastic baker.” Star replied, smiling.

“So? She got my head stuck in a balloon for crying out loud.” I grumbled, rolling my eyes.

“That… sounds hilarious.” Star said, a slight hint of mirth in her tone.

“Oh, be quiet.” I said, giving her an irked look.

“Hi Nettle! Hi Starless!” Pinkie said rather loudly as we came up to her stand. “What can I get ya?” Star looked over the list of flavors while I stood there. Pinkie beamed at me in such a way that my skin crawled.

“I think I’ll have the ‘Double vanilla, triple strawberry super blast party swirl’” Star said, sounding a little confused by the title. I shrugged absently.

“I’m fine, thanks.” I said as Pinkie looked at me.

“It’s okay! There will always be more here if you want it!” She replied, waving her forelegs again to draw attention to her stand. A moment later, Star had her ice-cream cone and scoop held in her right wing. She smiled, gave thanks, and we started in another direction. We walked on in silence for several minutes, with Star happily lapping away at her ice cream. I was in a good mood, despite my boredom. Sadly, my good mood had to be spoiled.

Star and I exited the market, and came to a park. My heart sank almost instantly, and my ears lowered. I knew this park all to well. I came to a stop and tried to focus my attention away from where my mind was wandering. I closed my eyes, and sighed. “Nettle?” I glanced up and saw Star looking at me with a worried expression.

“Oh, sorry… Just remembering something unpleasant.” I said, waving my hoof nonchalantly. Star tilted her head.

“Like?”

“I’d rather not spoil your good mood.” I declined, looking around. the trees, the grass… It all looked just the way it had for so long. Except for the memories attached. The time I was here with Swallow and the night I ran away with my imagination. If only I hadn’t done that, I might not have driven Swallow off…

“Nettle, snap out of it!” My attention snapped back to Star, who was staring at me intently.

“I… Ugh, I’m sorry. Can we get away from here?” I asked as politely as I could. Star nodded slowly and we walked away from the park. I glanced over my shoulder. There was a young couple sitting on the bench that Swallow and I sat on once…

<^><^><^><^>

“What was that all about back there, by the way?” Star asked towards the end of our time out in town. We were making our way to the plaza so we could head to our homes.

“What was what?” I asked, having momentarily forgotten the moment at the park.

“At the park. You suddenly got really sad looking. It kinda spooked me.” Star reminded, tossing the remnants of her now thoroughly eaten ice-cream cone into a nearby trash bin.

“Oh… that…” I sighed, and looked down. “Remember how I said I’m also sitting through a broken heart?”

“Yeah?”

“That park holds memories attached to the issue.”

“Oh…” Star looked down slightly and nodded slowly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Sorry, but no, I don’t.” I replied, shaking my head sadly. Star remained quiet for a minute as we trotted along in silence through the streets. The town square finally came into view a little bit later. Soon enough we were standing in the middle of the plaza. I stared down my street for a moment before I felt Star touching my shoulder.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” She said before drawing me into a hug which I couldn’t help but return. I nodded silently before drawing back to let her head home. She smiled at me before turning and walking away, waving over her shoulder at me as she went. It was getting a little late but I still had plenty of time to kill before my family would get antsy. Glancing around for something to do, I spotted Pinkie Pie still running her stand. It wasn’t as busy as it was earlier.

With a reluctant grunt I started forward towards the stand. Pinkie glanced up as I approached and her demeanor shifted from excited to something I couldn’t identify beyond being overly enthusiastic. “Oh, you’re back! Goody! What can I get you to turn your frown upside down?”

“Let me look.” I said simply before leaning down to examine the list of flavors. All the while, Pinkie was blabbering on about some nonsense or other. Finally I asked for a scoop of the chocolate flavor. Pinkie giggled for a moment.

“What a coincidence! That’s the last of it you just ordered. Here ya go!” She chirped as she hoofed it over. I nodded my thanks and turned to leave. I just started meandering aimlessly, enjoying my ice cream and the exercise. I started muttering random things to myself as I went. Sadly it seemed that fate was feeling like being an ass that day, as I wound up at the park again.

I sighed and started walking through it. As I went, a few memories flashed around in my mind and I couldn’t help but wince. A noise caught my ear but I paid it no attention as I finished off my cone and sat down on a bench. The sound was persisting and was now actively identifiable as a sort of ‘boing’ sound.

I glanced at it as it drew closer just in time for a pair of giant blue eyes to stare into my soul at point-blank range. The pink pony was staring at me with an intent look that made me worried. “If you are trying to sell me balloons, know that I am not interested.” I said warily, looking around for a means of escape.

“I’m not trying to sell you balloons. I’m here to see you smile.” Pinkie replied before settling down next to me on the bench.

“Why? We barely know each other beyond our names and common knowledge.” I said with a snort.

“I love to see ponies smile. It makes me happy to make them beam, and I hate to see a pony who is so clearly in pain.” Pinkie replied, much more somber than I was used to. I still kept my wits about me, however. “I know what will help- A SONG!” She suddenly took a deep breath and my heart leaped into my throat. Likely trying to fly out through my mouth to escape this.

“NO!” I shouted, covering her mouth with my hoof. I held it there for several moments before retracting it slowly. She blinked at me.

“But-” My hoof resumed its position on her mouth.

“Absolutely not! No singing! Besides, as flattered as I am that you want to help, I don’t think there’s anything you can do.” I finally removed my hoof from her mouth as I said this.

“Oh, don’t be silly. I can at least try!” Pinkie said, leaning back. I couldn’t help but notice the glasses she was suddenly wearing along with the notebook and quill in her hooves. What the… no, forget it. It’s Pinkie, I don’t want to know.

“Well then help, by all means.” I grumbled, looking away from her and into the distance.

“Well, first off, what’s bothering you so much?” Pinkie asked in what could almost be called a serious voice. I inwardly laughed at that idea.

“It’s… complicated. I made a couple mistakes that resulted in my heart getting broken by somepony I love.” I said simply, lowering my gaze and sighing heavily.

“Who was it?”

“...Twinkling Swallow. You met her, I’m sure.”

“Oh yeah! Her! She was nice!” Pinkie piped up with a sudden chirpiness that somehow made me feel worse.

“...Yeah… she was….”

“Hey, don’t get all frowny faced on me! We’re trying to make you smile, here!” Pinkie declared, leaning over to nudge me in the ribs. Somehow I doubted this little excursion here would have her desired effect.

“Leave me alone.” I said simply before jumping off of the bench and walking for home. Pinkie started bouncing after me a few moments later.

“Nettle, wait up!”

“Go away. You’re not helping!” I snapped, turning to face her. Her mouth immediately slammed shut and she looked at me with hurt eyes. I continued with, “I know you want to help and I appreciate it, but as it is I don’t need help from an overly enthusiastic pink party pony who stuffed my head in a balloon one time for fun! I just…. ugh, I need time and space, especially the space! Just give me that and I’ll be fine.”

“How about some hazelnut chocolate to help?” Pinkie suddenly asked, and I paused.

“Seriously?” I asked, turning an irked glare at her.

“Yup!”

“How about no.” I grumbled before continuing my walk.

“What about the super blast party swirl that Starless had?”

“No.”

“Some peanut butter and chocolate ice cream?”

“Tempting, but no.”

“Ooh! Now we’re getting somewhere!”

“No, no we’re not.” I deadpanned, praying to Celestia that this pony would just go away.

“What about this?” Pinkie asked in a sort of sing-song voice. I turned around to see what appeared to be bowl filled with a large chocolate mass with what I could tell were large pieces of fudge brownies and crushed up peppermint mixed in. My eye twitched in surprise.

“Uh… what the flying hay is that?”

“The super fudge lava peppermint crush!” Pinkie declared with a lot of enthusiasm.

“That sounds deadly.” I replied before sighing.

“Deliciously deadly!”

“Oh for the love of... look, Pinkie, you obviously missed the part where I said I need time. That’s it. I don’t need sweets or candy, I don’t need pep talks. I just need some time to myself to think. Can you please respect that?”

“But you’re not smiling yet!” Pinkie said, deflating somewhat. “and it says here that I need to make you smile.” She commented as she pulled from her mane a large stack of papers with my cutie mark on the front cover.

“Pinkie… what is that?” I asked in complete confusion.

“Oh, nothing important.” She said before I think I heard her whisper “Just the script.” After a few seconds she put it back. “Oh… wrong scene never mind.”

“Okay, that’s it. I’ve had enough craziness for one day. Thank you and good night Pinkie.” I said as I headed off to Celestia knows where.

<^><^><^><^>

The following day at school during the midday break I was sitting under a tree outside the school house. It was a sunny day thankfully. I sat by myself, just thinking a few things over. Swallows next letter hadn’t arrived yet. I nibbled away quietly at my lunch and kept an eye out for familiar faces. Very few of my friends were here today. Star was basically the only one and she was staying inside the house to work on an assignment.

“Hello?” I heard a familiar voice ask. Glancing over my shoulder I beheld Mint, the blue pony from before walking up to me.

“Uh… hi. Do you need something?” I asked, looking at him cautiously.

“Maybe. I heard about your trip with Starless yesterday. She won’t stop talking about you, actually.” Mint said a little hesitantly, kicking a stay stone with his hoof,

“Before you ask, no, it was not a date.” I said simply before returning to my sandwhich.

“Maybe not, but…”

“But what?”

“Look, Star is obsessed with you. She keeps talking about you with enthusiasm the likes of which I have never seen before. You did something to her, whether you know it or not. I know you have been trying to help her and honestly, I think you could help her more if you took things a step further.” Mint explained slowly before looking me carefully in the eye. My eyes widened before narrowing.

“Sorry, but that’s not happening.” I said simply, noting how his ears fell.

“Nettle, I know you’re having issues of your own, but Starless Night needs you.”

“Look, forget it, alright? My heart belongs to somepony else.”

“Yeah, I heard about that.” Mint said sadly, looking down. “But there are more ponies out there. I honestly believe Star might be one of them.”

“I’ve given my answer.” I said, looking away. Mint sighed before turning and walking away.

“Just don’t abandon her like so many others have, alright?”

“I won’t.” I said, but somewhere in the back of my mind I couldn’t help but think ‘I hope.’

The First Of Many

View Online

Soon enough, school came to a close for the year. Swallow’s next letter showed up only a couple days later. Sadly, she had been unsuccessful in convincing her parents to come back to ponyville for any period of time. I was very disappointed, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. Naturally she started expressing some curiosity of Starless, so I sent a letter to fill her in.

Now at this point, I honestly had no idea what to do. I went for a lot of walks and interacted very little with others. My parents were still giving me some space after the incident that day in the plaza with Swallow. I can’t blame them, given how much it was still bothering me. They told me multiple times that if I ever felt like talking I could go to them. Not like I ever did, of course.

On one of my earlier mentioned walks, however, I found myself starting to slip, emotionally. I was thinking more and more about what Mint had said about Star. I was actually starting to consider what he proposed. It caused a great deal of confusion in me because I loved Swallow. I didn’t want to turn around and betray that or turn my back on it, but at the same time the more I clung to it the worse the pain got.

This walk of mine had a surprise waiting for me in it, though…

<^><^><^><^>

I was in the market after a while of meandering around. It was a pleasant, sunny day. I could see a number of ponies at their stands and calling out for others to come buy their goods. One stand was selling apples, though that came as no surprise. I was about to pass out of the market when my stomach growled. With a grunt I looked around at the various stalls for a snack. I had a few bits I could spend.

Eventually, I settled on the apple stand and made my approach. I recognized the orange mare with the blonde mane and tail behind the counter and I know you’ll recognize her name. Applejack looked down at me and smiled as I approached. “Howdy! What can Ah get ya?” She asked in a happy voice.

“Just one apple will do.” I said, passing a couple of coins forward.

“Ya got it! One apple comin’ right up.” Applejack nodded and passed an apple in my direction. I nodded my thanks and looked down at the red fruit. It was nice and shiny. Turning I started to walk away from her. “Say, you alright?” She suddenly asked, causing me to stop.

“Yeah, why?” I replied, glancing over my shoulder at her.

“Ya just seem a little... lost, ah guess.” She said, looking at me with a searching gaze.

“Lost? What do you mean?” I tilted my head slightly in surprise.

“Ah have seen that look in ponies eyes before. Somethin’s botherin’ ya.”

“Well, as good of an observation as that is, I’m afraid it isn’t any of your business. No offense.” I said, looking down at the apple again.

“Is yer name Stingin’ Nettle, by any chance?” Applejack suddenly asked, earning a surprised glance from me.

“How do you know that?”

“Well, it’s ah small town, and, well, everypony usually knows everypony else at least by name. Besides, when ya’ll know Pinkie as a close friend, ya get to know a lot of the other ponies in town rather quickly.” Applejack explained, nodding at me.

“Uh… sure, I guess.” I muttered before taking a bite out of the apple.

“So, what’s botherin’ ya, if ya don’t mind me askin’?”

“A few things… It’s not something I like talking about.” I mumbled after swallowing my bite of apple.

“I won’t pry, but lemme just say it won’t do ya any good to just bottle it all up. It is good to talk things out.” Applejack replied, giving a comforting smile. She was right, I realized. I hadn’t talked a whole lot about the Swallow incident, and I hadn’t even once brought up the matter of Star.

“You make a good point. Well, it’s kind of complicated,” I said, deciding on simply relaying some of the story. I didn’t want to talk about the Swallow incident too much, but the situation with Star in my mind was a lot less painful to think about. “To put it simply, I feel confused. Theres this one pony over in Canterlot who, well, I really care about, if you catch my drift. To put it plain and simple, she doesn’t feel the same. Now, another pony’s shown up in my life and I can’t help but feel like my emotions are shifting. I don’t like where I’m at because it feels like… like if I go for this other pony, the new one, then I’ll be turning my back on the one from before.”

“Ah hear ya. Not an easy place to be, it sounds like.” Applejack said softly, lowering her eyes a bit.

“It isn’t.”

“Well, ah hate ta say it, but Ahm not really the pony ta go to for romantic advice.” Applejack said, looking away slightly.

“It’s fine.” I said before taking another bite out of the apple. We stood in silence for several moments.

“Ah think Ah know somepony who can help more than me, though. Ya ever spoken to Rarity?” Applejack asked, looking forward at me again.

“No, I haven’t. Why?”

“She’s well informed on all this romance stuff. Ah’d recommend talkin’ to her. She might be able to give more helpful advice. If ya have ever seen the carousel boutique, she works there. Runs the place, actually.”

“I’ll think about it. Thanks.” I said before turning and walking away.

<^><^><^><^>

The Carousel Boutique was definitely not my favorite shop. Granted it was clean, well maintained and very fancy. That last point is exactly why I wasn’t a very big fan of the shop. I prefer simple and practical. That and I am not very much into fashion, but oh well. I was there, so I figured I might as well do what I was there to do. I entered in through the front door of the establishment, a bell jingling as I went.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique and magnifique!” A pearly white Unicorn with a purple and heavily styled mane and tail announced in a very friendly, albeit practiced way. She was at present fussing over some piece of formal clothes on a mannequin in the middle of the room. “I’ll be with you in just a moment.”

“Alright.” I said, looking around with a faked look of being interested in the establishment. After almost a minute, the pearly unicorn, who I assumed to be Rarity, finished fussing over the outfit and came over to me with a friendly smile.

“My, aren’t you a bit young to be looking for the sort of attire I provide?” She asked, looking me over curiously.

“Actually, miss, that’s not why I’m here. You’re Rarity, right?” I replied, noting how she raised an eyebrow.

“Yes I am. So, what do you need then, mister…”

“Just call me Nettle. I know this seems a bit out of the blue, but somepony directed me to you for advice on a… social matter.” I said hesitantly, suddenly feeling a little self conscious.

“What sort?” She inquired as I gathered my mind. I hesitated before telling her what I told Applejack. She listened respectfully as I went over it, actually bothering to give names this time around. My reasoning for that was simple; if she was going to give me advice she might as well know the names of who I was dealing with. When I finished relaying my situation, Rarity nodded slowly.

“Well, you know my situation. Any advice?” I asked, looking at her skeptically.

“Well… it seems like you're infatuated with the young filly.”

“Huh?”

“To put it bluntly, in love.” Rarity said with an odd gleam coming over her eye all of a sudden.

“I’d agree with you on that, at least when referring to Swallow. But with Star… I dunno. I mean, a friend of hers seems to be sharing your opinion but…” I fell silent as my emotions got confused again.

“What do you think of her?” Rarity asked, looking at me critically. At first, I thought she was talking about Swallow, so I started on my answer.

“Swallow captured my heart, basically. She made things rather cheerful for a while. I have never met a pony as kind and gentle as her. I’ll just up and say it; yes, I love her. But... “ I fell silent as the memories from the town plaza on that snowy day came back to my mind.

“But what?”

“The feeling isn’t returned.” I muttered, lowering my head sadly.

“How do you know?” Rarity asked softly, taking a step forward.

“I confessed to her one day and… she turned me down.” I said, closing my eyes tightly.

“That must have been rough. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“And now Star’s in my life and according to her friends has become rather… ‘infatuated’ with me. I just don’t know what to do, honestly. I don’t want to turn my back on my feelings for Swallow but at the same time I really don’t think her mind is ever going to change.” My voice slowly grew quieter as I spoke before I looked away from Rarity.

“You’re dwelling. That isn’t good, especially for somepony as young as you. A good way to start letting go of a lost first love is to pursue a new one. In this case, I would just recommend asking Star out.” Rarity recommended, causing my eyes to snap wide open and look at her in surprise.

“Woah, what? I don’t- I mean, why are you suggesting that? I mean, she’s just- I don’t know if… She’s my friend and… UGH!” I let out an irritated groan and let my face collide with the floor.

“Huh, that was a cute shade of red. I’ll have to consider that for a dress sometime…” Rarity muttered, earning my curiosity.

“Red? I’m green.” I said as I stood back up to normal height.

“Your cheeks. You’re blushing furiously.” Rarity said, trying to hold back a few snickers. I looked to my left at a mirror and lo’ and behold, my cheeks looked like someone used an airbrush with red paint on them.

“Very funny. Are you going to embarrass me or try to help?” I droned out, glaring at her.

“Yes, yes, my apologies. Ahem. Well, I can see your flustered, so I guess you should think things over a bit. But as long as you’re here, can you do me a favor?” Rarity asked as she trotted over to a nearby desk. She opened up a drawer with some magic, pulling out a quill and a sheet of parchment.

“I suppose. What is it?” I asked, stepping forward as she scribbled rapidly on the parchment.

“Just deliver this to Pinkie Pie.” Rarity said, smiling broadly at me as she passed it forward after putting it in an envelope, also retrieved from the drawer.

“Alright, I can manage that. Thanks for… the advice, I guess. Bye” I said before picking up the note in my mouth and then taking off out the front door at a brisk trot.

<^><^><^><^>

Pinkie was fairly easy to find this time. Of course, when you're sitting in the middle of the town playing the trumpet for no discernible reason, you become kind of easy to spot. She wasn’t bad at playing it, I’ll give her that. She had a small crowd gathered who were happily smiling at the enthusiastic music. I made my way up to her as she finished her latest piece and held out the note. Pinkie turned to look at me and smiled at me.

“Hi! What’cha got for me, there?” She asked as she plucked the note from my hoof and looked it over. Her smile slowly widened, which made me somewhat uneasy.

“So, I guess I’ll be going now.” I said as she looked back up to me.

“Do you know what this says?” She asked in an interesting tone of voice.

“Nope. I don’t believe it’s any of my business… is it?”

“Nah, just drop by Rarity’s place tomorrow at…” She looked at the note again. “Three in the afternoon.”

“Huh? Why?” I asked, tilting my head in confusion.

“Oh, ya know. Reasons.” Pinkie said, winking at me before turning and bouncing away. I stared after her for a moment before turning and heading home. Why did I suddenly have a bad feeling about all of this?

<^><^><^><^>

It was the next day and I was back at the Boutique. I had just stepped into the shop and now had my head tilted in confusion at the sight before me. Pinkie and Rarity were in front of me with a couple of mannequins between them, One of which was built for a filly and the other for a colt. On one of the mannequins was a dress, colored in dark purple. On the other mannequin was a basic suit. I’d classify both of them as being semi-formal.

“Uh… What is all this?” I asked, looking between the two ponies who were looking at me expectantly.

“Duh! It’s a suit and dress!” Pinkie said, bouncing in place a few times.

“Yes, I see that. Why?” I asked, looking at the outfits with a building sense of concern.

“Well, Nettle, as it so happens there is a dance event going on at the Town hall this weekend. I figured I’d give you a nudge in the right direction with Starless.” Rarity said, smiling pleasantly. Pinkie suddenly bounced at me.

“I bought you two tickets!” She announced loudly, holding the tickets out at me from her hoof. At this point, I couldn’t even think. I believe my brain was taking a minute to reboot.

“But… but… why do all this for me?” I asked, barely able to form a coherent sentence. If this cost any money whatsoever…

“I see that look on your face. Don’t worry. I made these on a whim. No charge.”

Oh, thank Celestia.

“However, I hope you make use of these. Remember, the dance is this weekend. I won’t do the talking, though. You’ll need to ask Starless out yourself.” Rarity said, smiling wider, no doubt at my flabbergasted expression.

“How did you even get our measurements?” I asked, looking between the two of them. Pinkie suddenly waved at me. “Oh.” This suddenly got a lot more creepy.

“Uh… well… thank you…” I said hesitantly, looking over the dress and suit. I couldn’t help but picture myself in the suit, maybe fixing up my mane a tad. Given that I don’t care that much about appearances, The mental image didn’t really phase me.

Rarity nodded to me. “I can get these things home, if you’d like.”

“If my parents saw these there would be a literal interrogation. Is is possible for you to hold onto this until it’s time?” I asked, figuring that would be easier.

“Much as I would love to, I’m afraid I can’t. I have a large order coming in and I need the space for it.”

“I see… okay, then. Um, can we get these folded and put away nicely in a box or a bag or something? I can make the excuse that I bought the box or bag and then hide the stuff.” I asked, earning a nod from Rarity.

“Yes, give me just a moment.”

“Here you are!” Pinkie suddenly chirped, setting a very small suit-case in front of me. Seriously, it might as well have been a briefcase for pity’s sake.

“Where did you get that?” Rarity asked in surprise, looking it over curiously.

“Places.” Pinkie said before hopping into the back room. I looked after her for a moment before looking back to Rarity. With a shrug, we set about getting the clothes into the case. Once that was done, I made my way home, thanking Rarity and Pinkie heavily for this, even if only to be polite. I knew that I needed to do this.

<^><^><^><^>

My parents didn’t ask any questions about the case, amazingly enough. I took it up to my room and hid it under my bed. Whatever the case may be, I sat there for a long while just thinking to myself. Mint's words re-entered my mind and this time, I found myself believing them. She might be one of them.

A long shot, I figured. But I was starting to feel myself willing to at least try. I looked out my window and took a deep breath. I hoped this would go well. All I really needed to do now was actually ask Star to the dance, which I was basically required to do now. No sneaking away at this point. Rarity would give me tartarus in the form of an angry hoof if I did.

I went about the rest of that day like normal. It was a Monday next, so I still had time. Of course, one says they still have time and often forget that time is a finite resource. It can go pretty quickly if you aren’t paying attention, too. My days kept going like normal until Friday. I overheard my parents discussing what their weekend plans were, jarring my memory. Deciding it was now or never, I left my house under the guise of going for a walk and went towards the town square. Sugarcube corner, to be exact. I needed some directions.

<^><^><^><^>

As I stepped into Sugarcube Corner, I saw Pinkie and the Cakes dishing out sweets to some customers at the front counter. After a few minutes, the ponies at the counter left. I waved to Pinkie, who in turn smiled at me. “Hey, uh, I need some directions, Pinkie.” I said as I approached.

“To where?” She asked, looking at me in a somewhat… weird way. Not sure how else to describe it.

“Star’s house.” I said in a somewhat hushed tone, looking over my shoulder.

“Ah! Right. She’s in a somewhat smaller house down the road from here. Can’t miss it. It has a crack in it’s front window.” Pinkie said, making weird gestures with her hooves as she did.

“Thanks. I need to get there ASAP.” I said before turning and cantering out the door. I was barely twenty paces or so out of the establishment when I suddenly heard an obnoxiously loud, high-pitched whine.

“GO GET EM, TIGER!” Pinkies voice suddenly shouted from an unseen speaker. Sure that I was blushing again, I lowered my head and broke into a gallop for Stars house. I could still hear Pinkie shouting things for a few moments, all of which I drowned out by galloping harder.

And just as Pinkie Pie said, their was Star’s house with the identifiable crack in the window. I came to a stop and took a minute to catch my breath. I looked up at the door after a minute or two and found myself losing my nerve almost instantly. Fears and doubts began to fall into my mind. I hesitated for several moments before taking a couple deep breaths. Okay, don’t think about it, just knock and do it. I must have said that to myself inwardly at least six or seven times. Finally, I stepped up to the door and knocked.

Several seconds passed in silence, each of which felt like a minute. With each one that passed, I could have sworn that my heart was going to beat a hole in my chest. The thumping against my ribcage was getting louder each time it came around. Thump, thump, thump, thump. Finally, startling me almost out of my skin, the door clicked and slowly creaked open.

The Dance

View Online

“Nettle? How did you find out where I live?” Star asked in surprise as she looked at me. I coughed slightly and rubbed the back of my head.

“Pinkie told me.” I replied somewhat sheepishly. I was still a little red in my cheeks from Pinkie’s rampant cheering. I was so glad she had stopped.

“Well, okay then… um, do you want to come in?” Star asked uncertainly, backing up a step.

“Would your parents approve of that?” I asked, tilting my head.

“Probably not. But they aren’t here.”

“I see.” I said, following Star into her house. It was a fairly cramped little building and in very poor repair, too. There were some photos and paintings of cloudsdale on the walls and the small coffee table. Star guided me to a brown couch that had seen it’s fair share of use. I took a seat and she settled down next to me.

“So, what brings you here?” She asked casually, looking at me with a searching gaze.

“Well... “ My tongue caught in my mouth, refusing to move to make the appropriate noises. I paused for a second.

“Come on, what’s up?”

“Have you heard about that whole dance thing? Up at the town hall?” I asked, deciding it would be a good idea to figure out her interest. Her face remained neutral, which didn’t help.

“No, actually. Why?”

“Well, I… uh…” I hesitated again. Why was I doing that so much? Probably the fear of being shot down for a second time. “I… Well, I’m planning on going.” I finally managed to get out. Star stared at me with a look that could be read as saying ‘you’re kidding, right?’ Then she burst into laughter.

“You like to dance?” She asked between chortles.

“Is that a problem?” I asked, feeling embarrassed for some reason.

“Oh, no. It’s just not something I ever expected you to do.” Star said after getting some self control.

“I feel like broadening my horizons a bit.” I replied, a smile slowly making its way onto my face.

“Well, that’s very interesting. But I get the feeling you didn’t pop over here just to say you’re going to go dancing.” Star deduced, earning a nod from me.

“Yeah. I was actually kinda hoping that you would go with me. If you don’t mind, of course.” I said, knowing I just burned that bridge. Stars eyes widened for several moments. She swallowed hard before she responded.

“So, uh… did you just…”

“Ask you out? I guess I did.” I finished, looking at her expectantly. The look on her face was one of pure surprise.

“Gosh, Nettle. I… I’d love to!” She suddenly squealed and wrapped her forelegs around me in a tight hug. I let out a surprised yelp but returned the hug all the same. We sat there for several moments, just enjoying the embrace. As we sat there, I noticed that she was starting to tremble.

“Hey, you okay?” I asked, pulling back slightly.

“Just… I never thought anypony would ever care enough…” She said, voice quiet and shaky. She was looking down at the couch.

“Well, I do.” I said as I reached out with a hoof and lifted her chin so I could look her in the eyes. They were glistening with tears that had yet to leave them. She stared at me for several long moments, her eyes shifting subtly. She was debating something in her mind. With a sigh she leaned forward and wrapped me in another hug.

“Thank you Nettle… thank you so much.” She whispered, tightening the hug ever so slightly.

“You’re welcome.”

<^><^><^><^>

A little while later I returned to my house. I grunted a ‘hello’ to Noctis as I passed before heading up the stairs to my room. As I stepped in, I paused. Dad was standing next to my bed with an amused smile on his face.

“What are you smiling about?” I asked cautiously, squinting at him.

“When were you planning on telling us you were about to ask a filly out?” He asked, smile turning almost into a smirk.

“Uh… what?” I asked, trying and failing to throw him off. I say I failed because he nudged the small suit-case that was now out from under my bed with his hoof. Well, that’s just great.

“I’m not stupid, Nettle. Besides, Pinkie told me about this last Monday.” Dad’s expression looked almost evil as he said this.

“That little obnoxious ferret.” I mumbled, my eye twitching.

“The filly is Star, isn’t it?” Dad asked as he stepped up to me.

“Yes, sir.” I said quietly, looking down. Dad let out a chuckle.

“Son, I’m not mad at you or upset. Like I said, I’ve known about this since Monday. I was mostly just seeing how long it would take for you to decide to fill us in on your own terms.” He said, patting me atop the head with his forehoof.

“So… what do you think?” I asked, looking up at him.

“I think you’re lucky to have a suit as nice as what’s in this case. Also, I just want to point out; how did you expect to keep this hidden? Especially given that your mother and I are going to attend as well.”

“You’ve really been hush hush, haven't you?” I asked, earning an amused chuckle from Dad.

“Nope. you just weren't paying attention.”

“Touche.” I said, mentally kicking myself in the butt.

“All the same, I’m glad you’re starting to explore. Have you asked her out yet?”

“Yeah, I literally just did that while I was out on my ‘walk’.” I replied, nodding slowly.

“Well, then. I wish you luck.” Dad said before looking down at the case, “By the way, it might be a good idea to take her the dress.”

“Yeah, good point.”

<^><^><^><^>

So after one insanely mad gallop to Star’s house and then back to mine when I realized I forgot to grab the dress from my room, I was able to deliver the dress to her. I do have to say, it warmed my heart to see her eyes light up like that when I delivered the dress that Rarity had designed for her. Well after she was done snickering at my exhaustion, of course. I felt quite better about the dance coming up. Well except for the very odd feeling that I was forgetting something important. I was sure at the time that it wasn’t something too terribly important. I’d later find out how blissfully wrong I was about that.

The next day came up soon enough, though it still felt like forever and a day. I might have been feeling better about going to this dance, but my oh-so paranoid mind was going bonkers with all the things that could go wrong. I was pacing anxiously in my room at this point, eyes flicking over to my suit which was laid out neatly on my bed. Mom and dad were downstairs getting ready and Noctis was working. I kinda felt sorry for him, but at the same time I knew it would only be weird, yet slightly hilarious to watch him dance. Last time he tried he wound up using old Kung hoof moves he had learned a long time ago and converted them into dance moves. Clever, I will admit.

Then came a knocking on my door. “Come in.” I called, looking over. The door swung open and mom stepped in, smiling at me.

“You almost ready, Nettle?” She asked, prompting me to look over at my suit.

“I should really put that stuff on.” I said, fidgeting slightly.

“Yes, yes you should. Come down when you need help with the tie.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I said, waving her out of my room. I felt like such an idiot, not knowing how to put on a freaking tie. Oh well. She smiled at me and then backed out, closing the door behind her. I spent the next minute or two getting my clothes on. It was warm. Uncomfortably so. Either way, I headed down the stairs with my tie draped over my back.

Dad looked up at me and smiled as I entered into the living room. “It looks good on you, Nettle.”

“Thanks. Come on, let’s get this tie on.” I replied, stepping up to him. He nodded and we spent the next minute getting the tie set up. We spent a little while just standing around talking before we left for the town hall.

The town hall was well lit when we showed up, ponies of varying age and size gathering inside. I knew Star would take a bit still to show up. I let Mom and Dad go ahead as I waited by the door. Minutes began to tick by as more couples and solo's stepped into the building. I could hear the musicians starting to play their warm-ups. For a long while there was no sign of Star. Then I saw Pinkie bouncing around amid the crowd. Honestly, I should have known she’d be here. I waved to her when I thought she was able to see me. She smiled and bounced over. As per what I would expect, she was in a very… vibrant dress.

“Hi!” She said happily, nodding excitedly at me.

“Hey, have you seen Star?” I asked, looking around again. Pinkie smiled a bit more calmly and rested a hoof on my chin, turning my head a specific direction. My eyes widened. Star was just arriving, coming out of the crowd of ponies and towards me. Pinkie smiled and bounced away.

Star was… for lack of a better term, she was beautiful. Her mane was styled into a ponytail, a nice change of pace from her usual hanging flat mane. She hadn’t bothered with makeup very much, only adding some very gentle eyeliner, if my guess is right. And then there was the dress. I recalled that I didn’t picture her in the dress when Rarity gave it to me, and I knew then and there that I would’ve failed to do the image justice.

She slowly stepped up to me, a smile on her face. For a moment we stood in silence. Finally, I was able to find my words. “Wow… you’re beautiful.” I said, heart warming up as she turned a faint shade of pink.

“Oh, come on. I’m not that good looking.” She said, looking down and pawing at the earth with her front hoof.

“Well, I think you are.” I replied, earning another smile from her.

“Thank you.” She said quietly, shrugging slightly. Smiling, I held out my hoof towards her.

“Shall we?”

With a nod, she reached out and we touched hooves. Taking a deep breath, I turned and we made our way into the main hall. We had good timing as it was at this point that the musicians were just about done warming up. Star and I found an open spot to stand in while we waited. I saw there was a DJ stand on the stage. It was accompanied nearby by what was basically a small orchestra. the DJ came out and everypony went quiet. I recognized the DJ as Vinyl Scratch.

“Alright everypony! We’re just about ready to get this party started!” She declared, earning loud cheers from the room. characteristically, I wasn’t as loud as the ponies around me. Star wilted slightly at the loud noise, prompting me to give her a comforting pat on the shoulder. “This first number is a sort of combo piece. the orchestra and I will be working together to play a song with both, classical music and my own style.” Vinyl trotted up to her station and nodded at the rest of the orchestra.

“Let’s get our bodies moving, ponies!” Vinyl declared, and the music started. It started off slowly, the pianist letting out a slow set of notes, gently stroked. This was accompanied by a violin making some catchy sounds. As it started, ponies started to sway and move to the music. I mimicked some of the motions, just swaying back and forth at first.

Then Vinyl started with the electronic side of things. In only a few moments ponies everywhere started moving in ways I couldn’t keep up with. I looked around for a second, trying to get a feel for what was going on.

Remember that thing I mentioned earlier? The thing I was forgetting?

Yeah…

“Star, we’ve got a problem.” I said loudly to be heard over the music.

“Already?” Star deadpanned, giving me a flat expression.

“I don’t know how to dance.” I said, knowing my face was turning red again.

“Just follow my lead” Star declared as she started dancing. She was better than I was, that was for sure. I tried to mimic her movements, but only wound up looking like an idiot running in place, as that was basically exactly what I was doing. I imagine to anypony who looked at me I kinda resembled a stiff, poorly constructed robot. This kept up for a few minutes, with me stopping every so often to look around and look for some dance move to attempt. The music slowly started dying down and I was able to stop and think carefully about how to go about this.

Then the second piece of music started. There were a few scattered cheers through the crowd, telling me they knew this song and before I knew it every couple was in an embrace, swaying back and forth slowly. I looked around in confusion before I felt Star wrap her forelegs around me. “It’s a slow dance song” She whispered into my ear, “Do what I do.”

She directed my forehooves to rest under her forelegs as she rested her hooves on my shoulders. then she slowly started swaying from side to side, taking me with her. I caught on pretty quickly. This… this was much better. I knew that for typical dancing I was crap. But for this, I was actually doing pretty good, it seemed. I drew this conclusion just as Star rested her head against my chest.

“Your hearts beating pretty fast…” She commented in a voice that I could just barely hear. The music was much more quiet and relaxed than before, but still.

“It is? Huh, that’s odd. I wonder why?” I said, reaching one of my hooves up to rest atop her head. She let out a content hum and leaned into me ever so slightly.

“I don’t know…” Star mumbled quietly. I noticed she was starting to tremble again. I looked around and noted my parents not far off. They seemed to be having fun. I turned my attention back to Star as she slowly lifted her eyes to look at me. There were tears in her eyes. I hesitated.

“Hey, you okay?” I asked, gently wiping one of her tears away with my hoof. She nodded slowly and sniffled.

“Just… remembering something.” She said, sagging slightly.

“Like?” I asked as the song began to build up a little bit.

“Some… somepony I used to know…” She said, before smiling at me. “Don’t worry. I’m okay, especially with you here.” My heart skipped a beat as she said that. She leaned back into me as we continued our dance, closing her eyes. I gently stroked the back of her head and her mane as we continued like this. The music soon came to a close and the next song started.

The night came in a mix of two different flavors for me; me feeling like an idiot during the more energetic dances and then feeling… basically elated during the slow ones. Star seemed to like the slow dances as well, holding me closer than before each time one came up. For a time, things continued like this. However, on the last slow-dance song, something happened. Star slowly leaned back and looked me in the eyes. Hers were glistening slightly, and she had a huge smile on her face.

“Nettle…?” She asked quietly, looking down a bit.

“Hm?”

“Do you mind if I do something crazy?”

I took pause at that, but shook my head. “Go right ahead.” Star nodded slowly. For a few moments I couldn’t help but wonder what she was planning. I found out rather rapidly as she slowly leaned in and kissed me on the lips. My eyes widened dramatically, a sharp intake of breath going through my nostrils. After a second or two, she hesitantly broke the kiss and leaned back to where she was before.

After several moments, Mints words from before flashed through my mind.

Starless Night needs you. There are more ponies out there. I honestly believe Star might be one of them.

Maybe he was right. I had been questioning it before but now I found myself believing it. I subtly augmented his words in my head to something that put a smile on my face. As the new words went through my mind, I couldn’t help but think of Swallow for a moment. I rapidly banished the thought and refocused my thoughts onto Star. I smiled as I repeated the words in my head once more.

She’s the one.

The Night of Smiles

View Online

It was just after the dance had ended. Star and I were sitting by a small fountain in town square. I had talked to my parents and they had given me permission to hang back for a little while, as I wanted to talk to Star. For the moment, however, we were just sitting there, enjoying the quiet. I glanced over at her, noting how she had her eyes closed. She was thinking, that much I could tell. After a few more moments of silence I decided to speak up.

“So, what are you thinking about?” I asked curiously, looking ahead. Star sighed and opened her eyes, looking over at me.

“I… I guess I’m just wondering why.” she said quietly, leaning into me slightly.

“What do you mean?” I asked, looking at her skeptically. She was silent for several moments.

“Why do you care so much about me? When we first started talking behind the schoolhouse it was simply to help me feel better.” Star said, a shudder running through her.

“I’m honestly not sure. I know that the feeling is there, though.” I replied, earning a skeptical stare from her. ‘Why do you keep asking that?”

“huh?”

“You ask me ‘why do I care’ every so often. Why do you keep asking me that?” I asked gently, resting a hoof on her shoulder. She flinched slightly, but then leaned in, letting me wrap my foreleg over her.

“I guess that I don’t want a repeat of what happened… before…” She grew quiet on that last word, falling silent afterwards.

“What happened before, if you don’t mind me asking?” I asked softly, rubbing her shoulder in a comforting way. She was starting to tremble again.

“I was betrayed…” Star whispered, turning her face to bury it into my neck. I could feel the moisture of tears on my coat.

“Hey, it’s alright. What happened?” I urged carefully, giving her what I hoped was a comforting squeeze. She sniffled slightly.

“I had this friend in Cloudsdale who came here to visit me one day. He and I had made a promise a couple years ago... He promised he would always watch out for me. We were as close as two ponies could get... Then something happened to him in Cloudsdale a few weeks before I convinced him to visit. He refused to tell me what it was and... It changed him. He went from being my closest friend to a quiet, withdrawn recluse. At one point I was starting to get bullied and I had to call to him for help. He didn't help. He just watched and waited. When it was all said and done he... walked away.” Star began to openly sob into my coat.

Something clicked in that instant. If I recalled correctly, Star had not too long ago had a massive meltdown because Mint asked her about a 'friend.' The friend she was talking about now must have been him. I hugged Star closer with a sigh. “I promise, I won't do that to you.” I said, looking down at her as she looked up at me.

“How do I know that's supposed to be true? How do I know you won't change someday and leave me behind?” She whimpered, lower lip trembling harshly.

“Star, I am going to be honest with you. I may change someday and heck, someday, we may have to go different ways. But I will not abandon you. If ever we have to leave each other, it'll hurt me just as much as it will hurt you.”

“Prove it.” Star said, looking down and more tears streaking down her cheeks. Damn, I hated to see her cry like this. I reached my free hoof down to her chin and lifted her head up to look at me. We stared at each other for a moment before I took the initiative and kissed her on the lips. Hey, she did it to me in the dance. Fair’s fair. When I pulled back, her eyes had widened and she was looking at me in surprise.

“Consider that my signature on the contract.” I whispered to her, patting her shoulder affectionately. She stared at me wide-eyed for a few more seconds before a content smile passed over her face. She wiped the tears away from her eyes and hugged me tightly. I returned the gesture.

“Thank you...” I heard Star whisper. I smiled myself and just enjoyed the embrace for a little while. After a few minutes of silence, My ears perked up. I looked around slowly, a sound hitting my ears so faintly I almost thought it wasn’t there. Star looked up at me curiously as I started moving my head a bit faster. The sound was becoming louder. boing, boing, boing. Ah shit.

I blinked and Pinkie was there about ten feet away, bouncing toward Star and I. I gulped at the look on her face. She looked just a bit too excited.

“Hi!” She said as she came to a stop in front of us.

“Um… hi?” I semi-asked, looking at the pink pony carefully. What was she doing here?

“What’cha doin’?” Pinkie asked, taking a somewhat more relaxed posture, if that was even possible.

“Enjoying a quiet moment to ourselves.” I deadpanned, earning an amused giggle from Pinkie. Star was looking between us in confusion.

“Aw, that's sweet! But you know what would make it even better?” She asked cheerfully.

“You leaving us to our quiet, peaceful moment?” I mumbled to myself.

“A nice star filled night sky!” She said and I couldn't help but slam a hoof into my face, given the already clear night that it was.

“Not helping, Pinkie.” I said with an annoyed sigh.

“And a dinner.” She tacked on, earning a snort from me. Oh, if only I’d paid a bit more attention.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s- wait, a wha-” Was all I got out before Star and I were dragged off in a random direction by the pink pony. At least, I assumed it was random.

“Is this bad?” Star asked as Pinkie picked up speed.

“This, my friend, is Pinkie pie.” I groaned, oh-so very eager to see where we were going. If you missed my sarcasm, shame on you.

<^><^><^><^>

I had opted to close my eyes for a little bit. I figured that since Pinkie had helped orchestrate this whole date thing she was probably going to try and conduct the end of it. That in mind, I figured it would be prudent to let our destination be a surprise. After a few minutes of Pinkie dragging us along, she suddenly stopped and plopped us onto the ground on our hooves. Opening my eyes, I saw Sugarcube Corner in front of us.

“Um.. didn’t you say dinner?” I remarked as Pinkie trotted up to the door.

“It is dinner, silly!” Pinkie grinned as she opened the door and stepped inside. I hesitated before following after her alongside Star. The lights were on low, moonlight was streaming in through some windows off to the side and Pinkie was waving us to a table. Normally the store would be closed at this hour, so I was curious about this whole setup. Did Rarity help plan this or was this part all Pinkie?

“I thought this was more of a breakfast and dessert place.” Star commented as we made our way over to where Pinkie was gesturing.

“Don’t worry your little head about that. Pinkie’s on the case!” She declared before darting off to the back of the store. I shrugged absently at Star before we took seats at the small round table.

“So, what do you think she’s gonna be bringing us?” Star asked, looking over to the door Pinkie used to exit the room.

“Something baked, probably.” I said quietly in response. I could hear rattling noises in the kitchen, telling me Pinkie was up to something. I looked out the window up at the moon, tracing the craters in it’s surface into the shape of the old, mythical mare in the moon. I followed the moonlight back down to my table and looked at Star through it.

I’ll give her this, the moonlight matched her perfectly. She noticed that I was staring shortly before I did. I know this because she started fidgeting. And thus began a brief but very awkward silence. “Why do you think Pinkie’s doing this?” Star suddenly asked, earning a twitch of my eye.

“Not a clue.” I lied, trying to seem like I was a little bit more romantic than I was. Oh, the naive youth I was at the time. It was at about that time that a scent hit my nostrils. Why did I suddenly smell… pasta?

“What is she making?” Star asked curiously, looking over her shoulder.

“Smells like pasta of some kind.” I said, leaning over slightly to try and get a better view. Then Pinkie came bouncing out of the kitchen, somehow managing to keep a small platter balanced on her back. Where did she get that? It’s not like this was a fancy restaurant. This was freaking sugarcube corner, a bakery. And now she was setting down a fancily designed platter in front of Star and I. The contents were hidden by a lid. Of course. Screw suspense, seriously.

“Did somepony say pasta?” Pinkie asked, lifting the lid. Sure enough, it was a plate full of a type of pasta I had never seen before. Not unlike spaghetti, but something was very different about it just by the look of it.

“Ooooh! This looks good. Thanks, Pinkie!” Star chirped, and I looked up at the pink party pony with a raised eyebrow. “Wait, is this gonna cost anything?”

“Uh, it’s on me, I guess.” I cut in, looking to Pinkie with a hopeful look.

“Nah! It’s on me. Don’t worry about it.” Pinkie replied, smirking at us before winking. Something about that wink sent chills up my spine.

“That’s very nice of you.” Star smiled before looking back at the rather sizable plate of noodle-like food items.

“Not to be rude, but what exactly is this? It kinda looks… off.” I said, picking my words carefully. Insulting the ‘chef’ was the last thing I wanted to do.

“You’ll see.” Pinkie declared before bounding back to the kitchen. I looked down at the plate just in time for Star to take a bite of the supposed pasta with a fork. For a moment she had a contemplative look on her face. Then she swallowed and beamed.

“It’s good.” She said, taking another bite. With a shrug I picked up my own fork and we started eating. Now, naturally, I hadn’t planned on this date including a dinner. The dance was all I had in mind. I had a feeling this was going to take longer than my parents and I really agreed on. I guess I was just in for a flank-kicking when I got home.

Now, for the food. It was good, like Star had said. I’m not really sure how to describe it. It was almost like eating noodle cookies and that sounds disgusting. Yet it tasted delicious. I guess when Pinkie’s the cook, anything can taste marvelous. We ate in silence for a few minutes, and it was starting to get awkward again. I found myself trying to think of a topic of discussion.

Luckily, Star broke the ice. “Mind if I ask you a bit of a potentially sensitive question?” She asked shyly, looking intently at her fork.

“Depends on what it is. Go ahead, though.” I replied, looking at her with a curious expression. She hesitated before speaking up.

“Do you mind telling me a bit more about the issue you’ve been having?”

I winced slightly at the memories that reared their heads again at the question. Star wilted slightly as my own expression sunk from awkward to sad. I suppose there was no harm in telling her. After all, it’s not like it could make the pain much worse.

“Well… A ways back I met a unicorn named Twinkling Swallow. She was amazing, to be honest. She was kind and gentle and very forgiving. Eventually… I grew to view her as far more than a friend. When I finally confessed my feelings… she told me she didn’t feel the same way. Then, she had to move out of town, all the way to Canterlot. I’ve been talking to her through letters but… well, it’s been hard on me.” I managed, giving her the basic gist. Star looked at me with a sad expression for a moment.

“I see… I’m sorry to hear that.” She said softly, reaching out a hoof to rest on mine in a comforting gesture.

“Thank you.” I muttered, taking a somewhat smaller bite of food afterwards. The silence carried on for a short while once more, but I barely even noticed. My mind was now completely on Swallow. I heard Star saying something, but the words didn’t fully register for several moments.

“Nettle, are you okay?” She said, causing me to look up. I hadn’t realized it, but a couple tears had escaped my eyes. I nodded and wiped them away with a hoof.

“I’ll be fine.” I said quietly, earning a disbelieving stare from Star. She made no comment, however and instead went back to her food. We sat in silence once more. It didn’t take long for the remaining food to be eaten. Pinkie gave us a moment before she came back and took the dish away. Soon enough, Star and I were outside again. We trotted along slowly, and I found the cool night air beginning to make me feel better.

“I need to turn off here.” Star said as we came to an intersection. I nodded and turned to look at her.

“Right. I guess I’ll see you later.”

“Probably.” We stared at each other for a moment before Star stepped forward and gave me a hug. I gladly returned it, and smiled at her when she pulled back. She smiled in return and then we went our separate ways.

<^><^><^><^>

Star and I, soon enough, were dating pretty actively. To be fair, at the time, it did make me happy. I am definitely thankful to Star for that. Everything was going well and time began to fly. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. School came back into play soon enough, much to my irritation. Buckler and the others noticed my happier demeanor and how much time I was spending around Star. I don’t really know what they thought about that. I didn’t really talk to them very much anymore.

But as it was, I was enjoying myself. Star and I really got to know each other very well and spent a lot of time together. My family was glad I had finally pulled myself out of my rut of depression over Swallow and were helping me keep things that way. Speaking of Swallow, I received a reply from her a week after I sent my own letter telling her about how Star and I had started dating.

Nettle,

That’s so sweet. I’m happy to hear that you managed to let go of the past. Or at least move on enough to focus on somepony other than me. From your letters Star sounds like a fantastic pony. I hope you take good care of her. From the sound of it, she has her own plethora of problems. Correct me if I’m wrong on that. Treat her well and she’ll do the same for you.

Now, as for me, things are going well. School is going well enough. I took a few summer classes when the official school year ended, so I haven’t really had much reprieve. The class was on creative writing, so I’ve been working on jotting down my dreams. Things are pretty calm in them right now, but I’m noticing signs that things could get crazy again soon.

Take care of yourself, Nettle. Okay?

~Twinkling Swallow.

After that, I didn’t communicate with Swallow anywhere near as much. I was focusing most of my attention on Star. Before I even really knew it, School came to a close again. Time definitely flies when you’re having fun, I suppose. Whatever the case, as the one year mark of Star and I dating began to draw closer, I began to feel a looming sense of unease. Something was coming; Something was going to happen soon, and I had a feeling it would be bad.

Oh, if only I had known just how bad my situation was about to get. If only I had known how suddenly the pillars holding my emotions up would crumble. It all came apart so fast. All because of one stupid mistake and one realization. I wish with all of my heart things hadn't happened the way they did. I can’t change the past, though.I can only retell and remember it, even if sometimes I wish I didn’t.

I suppose you’re wondering how everything came crashing down, aren’t you? Well, I’m getting there. There are a few things I need to go over first. I also need to remind you; I regret what happened completely. But enough of me hinting at it. It’s time to actually tell you what happened.

The Sleepover

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As I’m sure you recall, at this point I had been dating Star for well over a year. Things were great at this time. I felt happy, she felt happy and my family was glad to see me out of my rut. It was a sunday. Star and I had plans to meet up at a park for a picnic. Apparently, there was something she wanted to talk about during that. I didn't know what, yet, but I was happy to listen. It was a fairly nice afternoon when I met up with her. The sun was shining with only a few clouds in sight.

We were currently in the process of rolling out the carpet that we would be sitting on. Star glanced up at me a number of times, always looking away when I stared back. Finally, we were sitting and eating. It was quiet at first, but eventually Star struck up conversation.

“So, how are things at home?” She asked, taking a bite out of her sandwich.

“Going well enough, I suppose.” I replied, sipping at the straw for my cup of juice.

“Ah.”

“And you?”

“Meh.” A few moments passed in silence after that. Star suddenly giggled to herself and I raised an eyebrow.

“Something amusing?” I asked as she glanced over at me.

“Did you hear about Lyra having a freak-out when she found a small sock with an odd shape to it?”

“She had a freak-out?” I tilted my head at that. I had never really conversed with Lyra before, but I had heard before that she was kind of eccentric.

“Yup. I was nearby when it happened. It was… to be blunt, I found it hilarious.”

“I see.” I chuckled idely to myself and took a bite out of some of my food.

“"It's even better when you hear Bon Bon going off on Lyra about taking the sock from the neighbor's trash without permission. Apparently, she was chased all around town for a little while just to get the sock back. I think they said it ended when Lyra ran into the golden oak's door. I think I could even hear the slam from her impact." Star finished, smiling and taking a sip of her own juice.

“Okay then. So, what was the specific thing you wanted to talk about?” I inquired, causing her to perk up slightly.

“Oh, right! That. Um… well, my parents are going to be out of town for a day or two. I can’t be on my own and my family couldn’t find any reliable foal sitters, so… I guess I was just wondering if I could stay at your house tonight?”

I paused in my chewing as she asked this. Swallowing, I spoke up with, “While I personally have no problems with it, I’d need to check with my parents first. This is kind of abrupt.”

Star nodded and returned to her sandwich. As she did that, I found myself internally asking a lot of questions. I had never had a sleepover before, mostly on the note that my parents were not always all that fond of the idea. Of course, they knew about Star, but they might not approve of me bringing her over for other reasons.

We sat and talked and ate for several more minutes. The breeze that began to blow was nice, sending pleasant chills through me. Eventually, though, the picnic had to come to it’s end. We rolled up the blanket and set the baskets off to the side. “Alright, I’ll talk to my parents about you spending the night and swing by later to deliver their answer, alright?” I said as we slipped the blanket into my saddlebags.

“Sounds good to me. I’ll see you then.” Star said, giving me a hug and then trotting off. I waved before turning and making my own way towards my house. I hoped this went well.

<><><><><>

“Come again?” Mom asked, looking down at me with a surprised expression. “You want Starless to spend the night?”

“Well, more accurately, I was asked if you would allow it. See, Star’s parents are going to be out of town for a day or two and she technically can’t stay in the house on her own. Plus they couldn’t find any good foal sitters, I guess, so she was hoping to spend the night here.” I explained, fidgeting slightly at my mothers intense gaze.

“Okay, but doesn’t she have any other places she can stay? I mean, we don’t exactly have the spare space to accommodate a guest spending the night.” Mom said, looking over at Noctis who was busy taking care of his paycheck.

“Is Noctis going to be here?” I asked tentatively, figuring one or the other would chew me out for even asking that.

“Well, no. But that’s up to him.” Mom said, getting Noctis’ attention.

“She can use it until I get home. then it’s to the couch.” Noctis said bluntly, barely paying us any attention.

“And that isn’t exactly acceptable in my books.” Mom added, looking back to me.

“Well… Maybe I could take the couch, then?” I suggested, causing mom to stare sternly at me.

“Can you answer my first question? About whether or not she has other places she can stay?”

“Of that, I am afraid I don’t know. I would hazard a guess and say probably not. What friends she has have even less space than we do.” I said, shrugging absently. Mom sighed slightly and trotted over to the couch, taking a seat.

“Her parents are fine with this?”

“I imagine they would have to be.”

“...Alright, fine. She can spend the night.” Mom said hesitantly. I smiled and nodded my thanks before turning slightly.

“Thanks. I should probably go and fill her in on this-”

“First thing's first.” Mom interrupted, earning a slight drooping of my ears. I hoped she wasn’t about to say what I thought she was.

“What?”

“Room. Clean. Now. If we are having a young filly over who will be borrowing your room, it needs to be presentable.”

Well, crap.

<><><><><>

Now, all things considered, that went much better than I honestly thought it would. I swung by Stars house about an hour later. Much of said hour was spent tidying up my room until my mother deemed it to be presentable enough. Stars parents were already out of the house when I showed up, meaning my timing was fairly good at least. We spent a couple minutes just chatting before we made the return trip to my house.

The remainder of the day passed basically with nothing of note happening. To summarize, we got to my house, spent some time talking and hanging out on the couch, then ate dinner as it was presented. We stayed up for a while yet, deciding to bring out a board game to play before bed. Finally, though, the sleeping hours came and I directed Star to my room, where she would be sleeping that night.

She liked it, thankfully enough. We hugged and kissed each other before I made my own way down for the couch to get some sleep. It was pretty late at that point and I was really, really tired. I flopped onto the couch and wrapped a blanket over myself before slowly drifting off to sleep.

<><><><><>

“Nettle…?” I heard, even if only just barely. It was whispered gently and I was still mostly asleep. I let out a low, sleepy groan and buried my face into my pillow. “Nettle… I need to talk to you…” It was louder this time, drawing me further out of my sleep and into the waking world. Deciding fighting this was pointless, I cracked open one eye, turning my head so it could see. Star was sitting next to the couch, looking at me.

“Star…? What are you doing up? What time is it?” I asked groggily, taking note of the very dark lighting. The moon was high in the sky, but none of the street-lamps were on.

“It’s a little past midnight.” Star replied, slowly reaching her hoof out to touch my own, which was currently hanging off the side of the couch. There was an urgency to her touch that made me snap awake.

“Midnight? Why are you waking me up? Is something wrong?” I asked, sitting up slightly and rubbing the remaining sleep from my eyes.

“Sort of… Nettle, I… I wanna talk to you. In your room, if that’s okay.”

I blinked and tilted my head slightly. “My room? Why? What’s so special about my room besides being clean for once?”

“Just… come with me, okay?” Star urged gently, reaching out and grabbing my hoof with hers. I slid off of the couch and followed her slowly as she made her way back up to my room. My bed was in shambles when we entered, indicating she had been tossing and turning all night.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” I asked, turning to her as she closed the door behind us. I noticed she was shaking. Uh-oh.

“Nettle… I… Do you still… love me?” She asked quietly, looking over at me with tear-filled eyes.To hear her ask that with so much… emotion in her voice was a little worrying.

“What? Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?” I asked, stepping forward and reaching a hoof out to rest gently on her shoulder. She looked at me carefully.

“I don’t know… I just have this gut feeling… like something’s missing…” Star whispered, resting her own hoof on her chest.

“My feelings haven’t changed, Star.” I said, smiling at her. She nodded slowly.

“And… how do you feel?” She asked, barely a whisper.

“Huh?”

“I want you to tell me how you feel about me.” She said a bit louder this time, though still quiet. I smiled warmly and drew her into a warm embrace.

“I love you.” I said softly, rubbing soothing circles into her back. She hummed quietly and relaxed noticeably in my forelegs. She leaned back slightly, just enough to touch her lips to mine in a gentle kiss.

When she pulled back, she seemed much happier. “I love you, too.” She said, reaching a hoof up and touching it to my cheek. We drew closer again, connecting for another kiss. This one was significantly different than the last. It wasn’t more forceful or anything, but it wasn’t as hesitant either. It just felt more… involved, I guess.

“What brought this on, if you don’t mind me asking?” I asked after we separated again.

“I don’t know… Maybe I’m just doubting myself. It just feels like… I dunno… like you’re too good for somepony like me.” Star said hesitantly, looking away slightly.

“Even if that was true, you’re still just fine for me.” I replied softly, rubbing more circles into her back. She murmured pleasantly and rested her head on my shoulder. For a few minutes, we just sat there, enjoying the others company. After a little while, I started to let go so I could return to the couch. I was under the impression this matter had been resolved.

But she didn’t want me leaving, apparently. She clung to me as I started to let go, before kissing me on the lips again. This kiss had enough forced to make me stand up. Stars forelegs were wrapped around my neck as she kissed me deeply. I returned the kiss, of course, but she was pushing me slightly. I took a few steps back and before I knew it, I was flat on my back on my bed with Star on top of me.

She broke away from the kiss and stared me in the eyes intensely. Something about her gaze was mystifying. I stared back, not sure what to do. She leaned down, her mane shielding our faces from everything outside of it, and kissed me again. This time, I was momentarily shocked out of my wits as I felt her lips part slightly and something pushed against my own. It didn’t take me more than a second to realize it was her tongue.

My mind shut down, which, as a side-effect, caused my jaw to fall slightly open. I felt her tongue dart inside my mouth, and on instinct mine started to wrestle with hers. At this point, we were a heap of limbs which were now exploring each others bodies. She pushed me up farther on the bed, then sat up, looking me in the eyes again. “Woah… this is, uh-” I didn’t get to finish the thought.

Star pushed her front hooves into my chest, pinning me down. My own hooves, I noticed, had moved to rest on her waist. I could feel heat starting to pool in my cheeks, but didn’t even really get a chance to register that. I was too busy looking at the sight before me. Star loomed over me, the moonlight accenting her dark blue coat and red mane perfectly. Her wings were extended slightly, and her breathing had deepened slightly.

She leaned down before I could get any words out and kissed me again, but not on the lips, this time. But on the neck. My eyes snapped open in surprise, and I looked down at her. Her smile was adorable, and the wink she gave me was equally so.

“Whaddya say? Wanna take things a step further?” Star asked, causing me to suddenly lock up. Okay, did she just ask what I thought she did? I sat there for several moments, looking at her with a mixture of surprise, nervousness and concern. It wasn’t just for the fact that she just asked a question of rather big importance, but how she just dropped it on me like it was a simple ‘hey do you want to kiss’ way. Her smile slowly began to fade as I looked at her.

“Uh…” Was the only sound to escape me as she slid away and backed off until she was standing on the floor. I sat up and tried to think clearly. To be fair, the rushing hormones were not making that easy.

“I… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have…” Star stuttered, looking down and pawing at the floor with her hoof. I looked at her quietly for a few more moments.

“No, it’s not that. I… I just wasn’t expecting a question like that.” I said even though it was pretty obvious that was the case. “It caught me so out of left field that I couldn’t process it for a moment.” She sat there looking at me as her ears were flattened back against her head. On one hoof did I take the plunge that I heard is a very big thing to do in a relationship, or on the other hoof was this going too far to fast?

Silence prevailed for almost a minute as I let my mind process this. Finally, Star looked away and sighed. “I can see it in your eyes… Not interested, am I right?”

“Star…” I began trying to find the right words to say. “It’s not that. Really, it’s not. I’m just worried is all.”

“Worried? Worried about what? That this is a bad idea?” She said and I could tell she was getting rather angry at me.

“No, it was… ugh.” Why did I have to get asked this question? Seriously, was it a good idea to go this far? Granted we had been together for over a year at this point and from some of the stories I’ve heard from mom and dad, they knew ponies that did this a lot shorter into theirs. Oh for Celestia’s sake, what was I supposed to do?

“It was what?” Star pressed as I fell silent.

“It was just… well, unexpected.” I finally managed, putting on a smile. Star looked at me curiously.

“So…”

Okay, I had to make up my mind on this now. If we went through with this, who knew what would happen if we got found out? On the other hoof, if we didn’t I had the feeling there would be tensions between us. Looking at her more carefully, it dawned on me. That look in her eyes said it all. I had stuck with her this long, I wasn’t about to push her away. I knew there would likely be consequences of some kind, but ultimately, I decided, Stars happiness came first. There were probably better ways of obtaining that, but I didn’t see them there.

I patted the sheets next to me and smiled. Star perked up and hopped up next to me. For a moment we stared at each other before she more or less tackled me into the bed, kissing me deeply. The only company we had was the only company we needed. Each other. The night carried on for an hour or so before we fell asleep, satisfied and happy, holding each other in our forelegs.

<><><><><>

That night was what marked the turning point in my life. At the time, I had no idea how horrible things were about to get for me. The repercussions from that night would be felt on my end for a long time to come.

It was the following morning. I was awoken by the sound of a sharp knocking on my bedroom door. I slowly opened my eyes to see Star peacefully sleeping face as she curled up to me even more. Oh, no. Damn, this wasn’t good. I looked over my shoulder as my door opened, revealing mom stepping in.

“Nettle, what are you-” Mom stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me with wide eyes. Her face paled considerably. Well, I guess there were no excuses I could make now… I looked back over at Star as she began to stir.

“Huh…? What’s going…” Stars words drifted off as she saw my mother. I looked at her with despair on my face.

The emotion was mirrored completely in my voice. “Star, I am so sorry…”

The Consequences

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Mom stared at us for a short moment before her eyes narrowed. “Stinging Nettle, wait here. Starless Night, you are coming with me.” She said, voice low and cold. I shrunk under the force of her gaze, and could only watch helplessly as Star slipped out of my bed and followed my mom slowly out of the room. My mind was going crazy, anxiety and fear bearing down on me with enough force to make start to shiver.

What was I thinking?! Why did I do that last night?! I shuddered and sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Great. Just freakin great. This was about to get really bad, I had a feeling. I sat there on my bed for maybe five minutes before a thought crossed my mind amid the whirlwind of chaos that was my mental state.

What would Swallow think?

I froze, blood turning cold. If word got to her about this… I cringed at the thought. Over the time we’d been communicating through letters, the topic of sex had come up once or twice. She was pretty vehemently against it, especially at our age. I looked over to my desk and noticed something. There were four enveloped on it, all of which were still sealed. I was about to go look at them when my door swung open and Mom stepped in again. She had yet to lose her narrowed eyes.

“Alright, now for you. Come on.” She ordered, practically dragging me out of my room. She brought me to our bathroom where the tub was currently full. I squirmed slightly as she set me in before closing the door.

“Where is Star?” I asked, wilting slightly at the fierce glare my mother shot me.

“She’s going home.” Mom said, before grabbing the soap and starting to clean me off. It then struck me that my mother was bathing me. Wasn’t I old enough to do that myself?

“Oh… well, can’t I at least bathe myself?” I asked, looking down and closing my eyes.

“You can, but you won’t. We need to talk, and I am not going to wait for you to come up with an excuse.” Mom replied. For a moment we were both silent. “Now, first thing is first. What in the world were you thinking?!” Mom suddenly snapped in my face, causing me to wince and shrink back slightly.

“I… I just wanted to make her happy.” I answered, earning a snort from my mother.

“While she might have been happy in the moment, did you stop to think about what would happen if you followed through with that act? What if Starless was in estrus? What if she got pregnant? Neither of you are even remotely ready for what that would demand of you.” Mom explained firmly, scrubbing down my back.

I couldn’t find any words to answer her. She had a point. I honestly hadn’t thought of that. Realizing that made me feel even more stupid.

“What do you think you’re going to do if she winds up pregnant because of this?” Mom demanded, lifting my head to look me in the eye. I sighed.

“...I don’t know. I don’t even know if she was in estrus.”

“And there’s the problem. You acted without thinking. I just hope luck plays out in your favor. You’re in deep enough water with enough sharks as it is.” Mom said, grumbling out the last part.

“So… what’s going to happen now?” I asked carefully, looking towards mom after she started to rinse me off.

“Well, first thing's first. I don’t want you being near her anymore. The way you said that you wanted to make her happy suggests that it was her idea, and ideas like that are liable to get you into horrible trouble.” Mom said, her voice losing some of it’s anger as she was starting to collect herself.

I barely noticed any of that, however. I zoned out the moment she said she didn’t want me near Star anymore. I looked up at her with anxious curiosity. “What do you mean you don’t want me near her?”

“In short, you two are done.” Mom said sternly, looking at me with a stone-hard gaze. I felt anger starting to boil in my veins. My scalp started to prickle and the fur on my neck stood on end.

“And who are you to order me to stop being with somepony I love?!” I demanded in a low snarl. Moms eyes narrowed at me.

“I am your mother.” She replied, earning a narrowing of my eyes.

“And what does that matter? I have free will and I intend to use it.” I growled, standing up slightly in the tub. A moment later, I was on my ass in the tub with sparks exploding across my vision and my cheek feeling like it was on fire. She… hit me!

“I want what’s best for you, and she isn’t it!” Mom said in a raised voice. I drowned it out for the most part, just processing the fact that she had just slapped me. I removed my hoof from my cheek and glared at her. I could feel my blood boiling with rage directed towards her. It was taking all of my willpower to keep from lunging at her.

“She got me out of my rut over Swallow, didn’t she?” I seethed, trying to keep calm.

“That she has. But now that that’s over, you don’t need her. It’s not open for debate. You and Star are done.” Mom barked, towering over me. I swear I felt something inside of me snap. It was almost like the chains holding me back suddenly shattered. The dam broke, and all of my anger poured forward.

“You BITCH!” I screamed, jumping out of the tub and tackling my mother. For a moment all that I was aware of where my mothers startled shouts and my own enraged screaming. I raised my hoof to start striking when Noctis and Dad entered and yanked me away, pinning me to the ground.

“Nettle, cut it out!” Dad shouted point blank into my face. My only response was to thrash angrily again, trying to break free. Noctis backed off, letting dad pin me down himself while he ushered mom out of the room. Several minutes passed where all I did was struggle against my dad’s infinitely stronger form, trying to get out from under him.

My perception of time blurred and my memories of this incident become fuzzy at about this point. I know I struggled for a while before I finally gave up. Dad stayed on top of me for several minutes until he finally decided that it would be safe to let me up. He ushered me into my room and locked the door behind me.

I stood in the middle of my room for a while, just trying to keep a hold of myself. I took deep, shuddering breaths and kept my eyes tightly closed. After what felt like forever, I looked back to my desk. The envelopes were still there. I sat down at my desk and popped them open one by one. They were all from Swallow. Each one sent a spike of grief through my heart, chilling my veins.

I hadn’t been answering her at all lately, I realized as I looked over the last of the letters.

Nettle

How are you doing? I haven’t heard from you in a while. Are you okay? Is something wrong? I don’t really have much to report on right now. Just tell me what’s been up when you get the chance, okay?

~Twinkling Swallow.

PS: How’s Star doing? The last letter you sent told me you and her had another date lined up. How did it go?

I set the letter down with a shaking hoof. It was only now beginning to dawn on me what was happening. My reckless actions had lost me Star. I hesitated, then started on my reply.

Swallow.

I would be lying if I said things were going well. I don’t want to get into details, but I made a pretty horrible mistake recently. I don’t know where it’s all going to end up taking me, so we’ll just have to wait and see. I’d say more, but I just don’t know what to say. I’ll fill you in after the situation develops a bit more.

~Stinging Nettle.

I had to rewrite that letter a number of times due to poor wording or messing up my intended message. I sighed heavily and set the sheet aside. I’d send it later. For the time being, though, my mistake was really starting to sink in. I looked down and closed my eyes, a deep sigh escaping my lungs. Well, all I could do now was wait.

<^><^><^><^>

And wait I did. three days came and went in which I was basically isolated in my house. Dad and Noctis didn’t let me leave, and Mom didn’t even speak to me unless she had to to get a point across. Her words were short, clipped and strained. Hell, she was often finding ways to not even be around me. I guess it makes sense. I did attack her, after all. That didn’t do anything good for emotional stability, much to my growing despair.

Over the course of these three days, I seriously began to question myself. To the point that I didn’t get anything in the form of sleep for two of them. I really wanted to sleep, but every time I closed my eyes, the images of that night flashed through my mind, reminding me of my situation all the more. The memory of that, the things it possibly meant for Star and I down the road, and the fact that I attacked my own mother... It all began to build up.

My mind was in absolute chaos. I kept wondering about Star. If she had been in estrus, that would cause major issues for both of us. I didn’t even know what all they were, but I knew it was a lot more than I really wanted to deal with. My heart sunk with my thoughts, every single day becoming more and more of a drag. It was harder to get up in the morning due to my growing insecurity and exhaustion. The days themselves seemed to last hours longer than normal.

Finally, on the fourth day I was allowed to leave for walks. I didn’t move at my usual speed and the bounce to my step was completely gone. My hooves dragged and my mind was so occupied that I didn’t even notice all of the other ponies giving me worried looks. They had a right to be concerned, of course. In the long run, however, I ultimately didn’t care about them. I will admit to this now, I dwelled way too heavily on all of this. It would all come to a head a week after the incident, when I decided to go to that old park, alone and by myself.

<^><^><^><^>

“Hey, mom?” I called just loud enough to be heard as I made my way for the door of the house.

“What?”

“I’m going for a walk.”

“Good idea.” She said after a moment and turned away to examine all the books on the nearby bookshelf. My ears lowered at the way she was practically disregarding me, but I was under the impression at the time that I deserved it. I nodded silently, opened the door and stepped outside.

It was a gloomy day. No rain was scheduled that I was aware of, but there was cloud cover. I groaned tiredly and rubbed my eyes as I walked forward. Distracted by that, I ended up brushing up against the mailbox. I paused and looked down at it. Swallow hadn’t been sending me things lately. With a touch of reluctant curiosity, I pulled open the mailbox and checked. Sure enough, there was one of Swallow’s signature envelopes.

I pulled it out of the mailbox, sat down on the step that lead up to our door, ripped it open and pulled out the folded parchment inside. I had a sudden sense of unease about this letter. With trembling hooves, I unfolded it and began to read.

Stinging Nettle,

I heard about what happened with you and Star. Your mother slipped another note into your envelope… Nettle, what were you thinking? I still feel queasy just thinking about it. I know Star means a lot to you, but still! This was not a good choice of action. I hope in the time since you sent your last letter to me you came to realize that. I don’t have anything else to say right now. You need to really think about what you’re gonna do next.

~Twinkling Swallow.

I sighed and returned the envelope to the mailbox. I’d add it to the pile when I got back from my walk. I stepped out into the streets and started to meander. I had no clear destination in mind, so I just wandered aimlessly. I don’t know how long I was at this. What I do know is that I gradually slowed down until I was barely even moving.

I looked up and my heart sank even further. The park. It just kept coming up, didn’t it? I picked up my pace and stepped into it, eventually finding my way to the old bench that Swallow and I had sat on. I sat on it and closed my eyes, deciding to take a minute to relax and try to think more positively. I started trying to focus on the happy memories between Swallow and I. Memories and words starting echoing in my mind...

“Promise me that when you get home, you'll give your family a nice big group hug, and tell each of them that you love them. Can you do that? I don't want to see your family drift apart...”

“Well... Nettle, I don't know when, exactly, but my parents want to move to Canterlot. We aren't going to be here in Ponyville forever... I'm sorry,”

“A lot, Nettle. A lot. You're one of the few friends I've made since moving here that I care about as much as my friends at my old home.”

“Don’t, Nettle. Don’t say a word.”

“I’m sorry, Nettle… But my answer is no.”

My eyes snapped open at the memory. I was shivering, trying to keep the tears and sobs from escaping my system. Damn. That went south in a hurry. I wiped my eyes and sniffled, trying to keep my composure. However, Swallows words continued to echo in my mind, repeating itself over and over again to me.

My answer is no…

I slammed a hoof down onto the bench, trying to expel some of the emotions through the punch. It didn’t work. I closed my eyes and actively started crying. I must have looked absolutely pathetic, just sitting there on that bench and crying my eyes out. I’m just glad nopony else was there to see me.

Or so I thought. For several minutes I sat there, crying quietly to myself. I curled up and faced the back-rest of the bench, hiding my face from the world around me. With my back turned to everything and my sobs the only thing I could hear, I didn’t notice anypony approaching me until I felt a hoof rest gently on my back.

I ignored it until it started rubbing soothing circles into my back. I slowly started to calm down at the gentle touch. Soon enough I was calm enough to stop the tears and breath normally. I slowly rolled over to see who it was that took time out of their day to help me. I wished I hadn’t. I locked up at the image of the pony before me.

“Nettle… Are you okay?” Starless Night asked me gently, looking at me with worry. I slowly sat up and looked at her, dumbfounded.

“Star…” I managed to choke out. I guess I had no choice now. If she wasn’t already aware of my mothers order that we cut things off, I had to tell her here and now. I figured I would just say ‘We shouldn’t be talking,’ and leave it at that. But… something lodged the words in my throat. Maybe it was a fear of breaking her heart. Maybe it was the look in her eyes, worried and pleading for answers.

...Maybe it was just because I was a coward. In the long run, I have no idea. All I do know is that for a long while, I just sat there, looking at her, the words lodged in my throat and my mouth hanging open. Finally, I cleared my throat and scooted over, giving Star room to sit next to me. She hopped up and sat down as well, looking over at me with worry ever so evident in her eyes. I knew that look. I had seen it countless times when I was recovering from Dusk Raider. Swallow used to look at me with those eyes all the time. truth be told, it was the last look from her I’d ever seen.

With a sigh, I turned my eyes to look at Star’s. “Star… we… we need to talk…”

The Unfortunate Truth

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“Star, did my mother tell you about… what she wants from me?” I asked carefully, looking at Star, who wilted slightly at the question. She brushed her red mane out of her eyes and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“I don’t think so. What is it she wants?” She asked, prompting me to sigh. Well, that was just perfect. Now I had to tell Star that by my mothers orders, we were not to be together anymore. I looked down and closed my eyes, blocking out the world to gather my strength.

“I’m going to have to tell you something, Star. It’s going to shatter your heart and leave you angry, but I have no choice.” I said quietly, looking up at her after I said that.

“Oh… go on.” She said gently, faking a smile. I could see it already, though.The look in her eyes said it all. She more or less knew what I was about to say already, and the emotion was already building up. I was going to hate myself for what I was about to say, I had a feeling...

“Well… you see… Mom doesn’t want us to be together anymore.” I said, barely managing the last part. Star’s ears fell flat against her head, and as I suspected, a tear was snaking it’s way down her cheek. She didn’t say anything at first, but instead just looked around. Her eyes closed and she sniffled.

“I don’t want to…” She said, struggling with every word.

“I don’t want to either.” I said, trying to be soothing.

“Nettle, we… Why is she doing this to us?” Star asked, her voice rising in volume somewhat. She wiped some of the tears out of her eyes with her hoof. I bit my lip, not knowing what to say. Already the guilt was settling in and making itself firmly at home.

“I guess it’s because of how angry she is with us… she said that you aren’t a good influence anymore. I guess she just doesn’t want me to make anymore mistakes.”

“But how can she expect that? Everypony makes mistakes! This isn’t fair…” Star looked down. She was shaking again. I hadn’t seen her shake like this in almost a year. It was more than a little unsettling.

“Star, I wish we could stay together. Maybe we can be together again someday down the line. But, for now, there isn’t anything I can do. If we stay together, mom will only make life harder and harder on the both of us, and who knows what other consequences there could be?” I tried to use the voice of logic, but I have the feeling it wasn’t very good logic.

“But... “

“Star, look at me.” I said gently, and she lifted her eyes to look at me.

“If you go away… I don’t know if I could handle it.” She muttered, earning yet another sigh from me.

“I won’t like it either. Remember what I said. If we have to part ways, it will hurt me just as much as you… I don’t want this at all... Just hold onto the hope that we might be able to be together again. Mom will come around eventually. So… just think of it as a break, I guess.” I managed to sound reassuring, but it didn’t work. Tears kept sliding down Star’s cheeks. I’ll give her credit, she’s amazing at controlling herself. Without anything else to do, Star leaned forward and hugged me as tight and close as she could.

Reluctantly, I returned the hug. It didn’t last longer than ten seconds before we slid apart. With a tired groan, I got off the bench. Star followed suit and looked at me with watering eyes. I heard hooves on grass approaching, and took that as my cue to leave. I turned away slowly and started out of the park. I didn’t get very far before I was next to the approaching pony. I looked up on instinct and saw that it was Mint. My eyes shot open. He did not look happy and he was directing his glare squarely at me.

“What the buck where you thinking!?” He yelled, jabbing a hoof into my chest. I blinked and took a step back.

“I… I don’t… I just wanted to make her happy.” I said, looking down.

“Yeah, well, look how well that ended!” Mint snarled, the ferocity in his gaze was actually kinda scary, I will admit.

“Mint, please. Just-” Star started to plead before being silenced by a snort from Mint.

“You should consider you and her lucky that she wasn’t in estrus!” Mint said, once again jabbing his hoof into my chest for emphasis. I looked away.

“I’m sorry.”

I could see Mint’s eye twitch as his scowl deepened. “You should be.” He turned and made his way in Star’s direction. I hesitated.

“Hey.” I called after him.

“What do you want now?” He demanded, turning a furious glare on me.

“...Don’t abandon her.” I quoted before turning and walking away.

<^><^><^><^>

When I finally got home, I said nothing to my parents and made my way upstairs. I sat down at my desk and just let my mind race for a while. More and more, my mind kept wandering back to the letter that Swallow sent me. It was still sitting out in the mailbox. Deciding to go and get it later, I went to start on my reply, but stopped before I had even grabbed the quill or parchment.

What point was there in even writing a response? I lowered my eyes and groaned in frustration. I had no idea what I would even say to her right now. Mom clued her in, so I couldn’t really come up with any good excuses. With no idea what to do, I let my head collide with my desk and just sat there, thinking over the last year, rewinding through all of the happiest memories I had.

I don’t know how long I was sitting there, just cycling through memories. Eventually though, my mind circled around to Swallow again. Since I wasn’t paying anything else any attention right now, I noticed something. This was where the truth finally broke me down.

When I thought of Star, sure, I felt happy and warm inside, but due to recent events it was accompanied by a sharp emotional pain. Compare that to when I thought of Swallow and… something else entirely happened. Same basic premise, but oh so much stronger. There was that pinch in my chest again, the warmth melting away the ice in my veins.

And then her words echoed through my mind again.

My answer is no.

I shuddered and hugged myself, suddenly feeling really cold. It finally started to dawn on me. It would take me less than an hour to fully accept the facts. I loved Star, that much was true. But… I loved Swallow more. I pieced together something that day; I took up Mint on his suggestion and started dating Star not just to help her or because I loved her. But to hide from the fact that Swallow had turned me down over a year ago that one day in the plaza.

The moment that all clicked into place, an overwhelming sense of guilt suddenly washed over me. For a moment I just lay there, feeling numb and empty. Finally, I slowly got out of my chair and made my way for my bed. I stopped next to it and then just slumped on top of it. What was I to do now?

<^><^><^><^>

I basically didn’t do anything for a few days. The guilt I felt over having used Star as a shield like that, lying to myself for so long, attacking my mother and upsetting Swallow with my actions all drove me to hide away in my room and neglect the rest of my obligations for quite a while. I don’t really know how much time passed, but it was more than a week. I only ever came out to eat, drink and use the facilities as needed. My sluggish behavior did not go unnoticed by my parents, not like I was really paying them any attention.

I just kept thinking about Swallow the whole time, not sure if I should write to her or just stay silent. I barely got any sleep, insomnia kicking itself into full gear. Finally, though, one morning, a knock came to my door. I looked in it’s direction but said nothing. The door swung open slowly after a moment to reveal mom standing there with an envelope in her hoof.

“It’s from Swallow.” She said simply, trotting up to me carefully. She set the note down on my desk, which I was standing next to, smiled warmly at me, then backed out. I looked down at the letter for several moments before finally deciding to open it. The first thing I noticed as I lifted the sheet out of the envelope were the stains on it.

Had she been… crying? I began to read as a frown slowly started to snake it’s way onto my face.

Nettle,

I should apologize. My last letter came off a bit more harsh than I wanted it to. I was just upset, you know? Still am, technically. You haven’t written back in a while, though, so I thought I’d send another, just in case my last one got lost in translation or something.

Nettle, I just want to make sure you’re okay. I know how badly the… ‘incident’ with me affected you, so I can only begin to imagine how badly this is hurting you. I’m worried about you. I’ve got this bad feeling, ya know? I feel like something bad either has happened or is about to happen and I feel like it’s my fault. I’m not really sure why but that’s just what’s been going through my head for a while now.

Just… write back soon, okay?

~Twinkling Swallow.

I set the letter down. Great. Another mistake, I thought. I neglected in sending a response and she was getting worried. Time to fix that. I reached out and grabbed my quill and parchment, starting on my reply after I’d cleared up a bit of space.

Swallow,

Don’t beat yourself up over my actions. None of this was your fault… it was all mine. I was the one who made the waking decision to do that with Star, and now I’m dealing with the consequences. Don’t worry too much. I’ll be fine, okay? Just…

I paused, noting how horribly the quill was shaking. I set it down and looked at my hooves. I was shaking something fierce. I started thinking back over the letters she and I had sent over the course of my relationship with Star and one critical detail kept cropping up. I always called Swallow my friend. Even though that was true, it didn’t change that what I wanted and couldn't have was so much more than that.

I knew it would be a pointless and useless gesture, and wouldn’t do me any good, but… I had to write something down. I picked up the quill and kept writing on the next line.

Buck it, I can’t keep doing this. Swallow, I need to tell you something. I’ve technically said it once before, before you moved away, but… all this time with Star I think blinded me to this fact and I need to remind myself, even if I can never have it returned.

Swallow, I love you. I know I just broke up with Star, but that’s just it. Star, great a pony as she is, was sort of my way of shielding myself from a lot of the pain I’d been dealing with because of… well, the incident in the plaza. I just… I can’t keep lying to myself. Consider this my official declaration. Make of it whatever you want. I already know you don’t feel the same way about me.

I just needed to set the record straight. I’m running out of room on the page. I’ll just stop here.

~Stinging Nettle.

I looked at the note in my hooves with a tear streaming down my cheek. I had every reason to believe that sending this letter would be a huge mistake. I started debating on whether or not I should send this once. Maybe I should have simply written a smaller note that confirmed I was ‘ok’ and just kept the long one in a box somewhere.

But that’s not what I did. The following day, I sent the letter. After that, I returned to my room and just waited…

<^><^><^><^>

Nettle,

Don’t worry, It’s okay. I had a feeling you still loved me. I may not feel the same way, but you don’t have to worry. I won’t do anything to hurt your feelings any further. All I ask is that you respect my stance on the matter. As long as you can do that, we’ll be fine.

At any rate, how are you holding up? Things are alright on my end. Schools swinging back around. The Summer sun celebration will be in Ponyville next time it comes around, from what I hear. I wish I could be there to celebrate with you. But theres nothing I can do to achieve that. I’m sorry.

Just take care of yourself, alright?

~Twinkling Swallow

<^><^><^><^>

After I received that reply, I gradually started feeling better. I never got over it completely, though. Hell, looking back on it I still feel crappy just thinking about it. On the upside, I hadn’t been informed that the Summer sun celebration would be in Ponyville, so that was a pleasant surprise. All the same, it was going to take until next year for that.

I spent the majority of my time just trying to relax and practice my writing, something which I had been neglecting horribly since Star and I started dating. I wrote a few short stories, though they were nothing all that special. Either way, time began to flow once more. School came back into session, as it always did. I focused almost all of my energy on my grades. I had straight A’s for quite a while, there.

Despite my efforts, though, my enthusiasm for things had waned considerably. I was back in the position I had been in after Dusk Raider attacked me. Distrusting of everypony around me, quiet, withdrawn and now even more of a loner than before. My behaviour was observed by Buckler and the others, who sometimes came forward to try and see what was wrong.

I always brushed them away, though. I wasn’t feeling social at all anymore, except for my letters to Swallow. I picked them back up in full time. Every time I got a reply, I couldn’t help but smile. The lockbox was practically full, now. I had to go out and buy another, bigger one and move all of the letters over.

On Swallow’s end, things were going well. Her schooling was in full swing again, and she had a few new friends. I hadn’t heard their names, but I chose not to ask. They were nice and friendly and she got along well enough with them. I knew she was doing fine and all that, but I still felt a sad loneliness coursing through me every time I read one of her letters. She wasn’t here in Ponyville. I hadn’t seen her face-to-face in a very long time.

That was something that I was just going to have to deal with. And so I did. It was never easy, though. I guess I should have expected as much.

Time slowly ticked by one day at a time. Every day felt like a drag. One way or the other, though, The Summer Sun Celebration in Ponyville was approaching. It took it’s sweet time, something which was starting to irritate me by the time it finally came around. Of course, looking back on it, I’m kind of glad it took as long as it did. It gave me a bit of extra perceived time to ready myself for what was to happen on that day.

I wasn’t really one to celebrate it as actively as the other ponies, but I still had plans to go to the town hall when it was time for Princess Celestia to bring on the sunrise. It was a matter of respect, really, and despite my lack of care for authority, Princess Celestia was a good enough ruler to warrant at least some genuine respect from me. Of course, anypony who had managed to live for over one thousand years and still act like a gentle but very efficient mother to all her subjects, all while maintaining her youthful appearance kind of warranted some respect.

Finally, though, the day came. I sent off a letter to Swallow to wish her a happy Summer Sun. Then all I could really do was simply wait for the sun to set and the celebration to really get started. The hours of that day ticked by slowly but surely. I heard about a Pinkie party being held for some new pony, but I didn’t really care. I was more interested in that night.

And holy crap, what a night it was gonna turn out to be.

The Summer Sun Celebration

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Night had finally come around. I was one of the first in the Town hall, along with my family. We were all eagerly awaiting the arrival of everypony else so that the celebration could begin. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before or not, but I had never seen Princess Celestia outside of pictures. I glanced around, taking note of the ponies who were present. I recognized Fluttershy not far off, doing last minute, yet very hushed rehearsals with her song bird choir.

Rarity was up on the elevated platform, making sure that all was in place for Celestias big appearance. Applejack and her family were making sure that the tables weren’t missing any food. There were a couple of other early birds just standing or sitting around, talking to each other. I looked over to Noctis, who was talking absently to dad about work. If I recall, it had been a very big pain on him in recent weeks.

I noticed something. The shape of the mare in the moon. It seemed… different. I couldn’t put my hoof on it, but something just seemed off. I looked at it intently for several moments before shrugging it off and turning to talk with mom. Thankfully, things between her and I had smoothed out quite considerably. We were on friendly terms once more, something I was very happy about.

“So, then. Have you ever seen Princess Celestia? Like, up close?”

“Cant say that I have.” She replied, smiling down at me. I nodded and looked back as the door swung open. More ponies were starting to filter in. It must have been getting close to the start of the celebration. I turned my eyes towards the stage, catching a brief glimpse of the mayor behind the curtains, talking with a few other ponies. Much to my surprise, I saw a few ponies clad in golden armor step out and take up positions around the hall. My surprise faded quickly, of course.

It was Princess Celestia. She was basically Equestria’s only ruler at the time. She had a strong royal guard to defend her if things got hairy. More and more ponies were filtering in. Soon enough there wasn’t even enough room for us all, so the Pegasi took flight and hovered over our heads. Quiet whispers slowly began to build up as everypony talked to each other. My family was no exception. I’m sure I was basically the only pony not taking part in some sort of conversation.

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie’s voice rang out. I am so glad she wasn’t talking to me, but I could still hear her clearly. “Isn’t this exciting?! Are you excited? ‘Cause I’m excited! I’ve never been so excited! Well, except for that time that I saw you walking into town and I went gasp, but I mean really, who can top that?!”

Thankfully, the time came. The songbird choir began to sound their song, indicating the beginning of the celebration. After a few moments of that, the spotlight shined down on the mayor, who had made her way onto the stage. She had her usual formal and official look with that oh-so warm smile.

“Fillies and gentlecolts, as Mayor of Ponyville, It is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!” She announced, and quite literally everypony began cheering. I joined in, despite my usually quiet attitude. “In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise and celebrate this, the longest day of the year!”

“And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and moon, each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria…” Cue dramatic pause. Of course.

“Princess Celestia!” The music sounded again, Rarity pulled the rope on the upper stage and the curtains pulled back. For a moment, I was frozen. My ears fell flat against my head, and a nightmarish fear began to build up inside me. I could feel it pulsing through my veins, making my whole body shake. “Remain calm, everypony. There must be a reasonable explanation.” The mayor said, fear evident in her own voice. Pinkie said something, but it was lost to the sound of my heart hammering at my ribs.

Rarity stepped out and onto the upper stage. “She’s gone!” She said to us, and a gasp shot through the whole audience.

“Ooooh, She’s goooood.” Pinkie said with the distinct sound of being impressed by something. I saw nothing impressive. Pinkie's attitude suddenly shifted, as a blood curdling scream escaped from her mouth

I felt tingles running up and down my back, cold sweat starting to form on my brow. they all saw it, too, then. The swirling cloud of blue mist, seemingly filled with stars on the upper stage. It was rising. Suddenly, it swirled one last time. My heart damn near stopped, and on instinct I took a step back. No… it couldn’t be! She was just a myth! A legend! An old pony’s tale! At least, that’s what I had believed up until now.

Nightmare Moon smirked down at us, her blue, snake-like eyes gazing hungrily at the ponies assembled in the hall. “Oh, my beloved subjects. It has been so long since I’ve seen your precious, little, sun-loving faces.” The last part, she spat out as if it was bile.

“What did you do with our Princess?!” I heard an unfamiliar voice shout. A cyan pegasus mare with a rainbow-colored mane and tail almost shot up out of the crowd and at the near-goddess level alicorn. Thankfully, she was stopped, her tail clenched firmly in the jaws of Applejack. Okay, good. I didn’t feel like seeing any blood today, if possible. Of course, given my current situation, I had the feeling I’d be seeing a lot of blood.

“Oh, am I not royal enough for you? Don’t you know who I am?!” Nightmare Moon demanded, giving her oddly elegant wings an intimidating flap. “Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?” She asked, a horrid, evil amusement making it’s way into her voice.

“I did!” I suddenly heard shouted. I looked over with just about everypony else to see a lavender unicorn mare with an indigo mane and tail glaring up at Nightmare moon. “And I know who you are. You’re the mare in the moon. Nightmare moon!” A collective gasp shot through them all. I looked at the unicorn like she was crazy. To be fair, I honestly thought she was. If she was brave or stupid enough to face off with an alicorn who I can only assume was more powerful than Celestia, I will admit, she had more balls than I did.

“Well, well, well. Somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I’m here!” Nightmare said, a frown forming on her face. The unicorn spoke more quietly, hesitating and shrinking down somewhat. Okay, her drive to preserve her life was kicking in. Good. Nightmare moon began to laugh as the pony fell silent. “Remember this day, little ponies. For it was your last. From this moment forth, the night shall last forever!” Nightmare moon began to laugh once more as her flowing mane and tail swirled into a vortex in the air, lightning blasting out of them and deafening me.

I covered my ears, and looked up. Three of the royal guards were flying up to attack her. Some of the lightning lanced out and struck them before they even got close, sending them flying across the room and into the walls. One of the blasts ricocheted, and before I knew what was going on, the stray arc of lightning hit me square in the chest, sending me flying back into a nearby table. I screamed in agony. Then it all went dark.

<^><^><^><^>

I was in pain. Agony lanced to every nerve ending in my body, causing me to scream bloody murder as I began to become aware of myself again. There was a beeping sound and voices, all muffled beyond comprehension. My ears rang loudly, drowning out anything else. I snapped my eyes open to bright light and fuzzy images. I couldn’t make anything out. It was all too blurred. A cold sensation hit my right foreleg and a sudden calm washed over me. In less than a moment, I fell back into slumber, my agonized cries fading out.

<^><^><^><^>

When I finally woke up, it was to a Ponyville clinic room. I couldn’t have been out for very long, as my chest still hurt like hell. My eyes were crusty and felt heavier than my kitchen table. I looked to my right to see Nurse Redheart looking a few things over with a distraught look on her face. She looked down at me and jumped in surprise.

“Oh, you’re awake.” She said, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Yeah… what- ACK! It hurts to talk… Ugh, what happened?” I asked, not remembering much.

“Well… Look out the window.” Redheart said weakly, stepping aside to let me see. It was night. The moon was high and full. My eyes slowly widened.

“How long has it been like this?” I asked carefully, trying not to hurt myself.

“Hours. A group of six mares wandered into the Everfree Forest shortly after Nightmare Moon left. I wish them well, but…” Redheart sighed and looked down. Her fears were totally understandable. The Everfree Forest was not a place to venture into lightly. Okay, scratch that. The everfree forest just should not be ventured into. End of discussion.

“How am I? What’s the damage?” I asked, looking straight up at a ceiling light.

“Well, all in all you should be fine. It’s a pretty painful burn, but it will heal.” Redheart assured me. I nodded slowly and closed my eyes. Words were no longer really needed at this point.

Eternal night, huh? I guess it could be worse. She easily had the power to destroy anything and everything in her path if she so chose. Living under a tyrant wouldn’t be fun, but you know what? I could live with that. I’d been through some pretty unfun experiences, so I figured I could handle it.

Slowly, I fell back to sleep. I decided I would face all of this when I was properly healed…

<^><^><^><^>

Okay, bright. Really freaking bright. Alright, seriously, what in tartarus? I opened up an eye to chew out whoever thought it was funny to shine a flashlight in my face, but only found a well lit clinic room with sunlight streaming in through the windows. About two seconds later it struck me what that meant. Sunlight. Had the moon set? I went to try and get a better look outside, but the pain still throbbing in my chest kept me from movement.

I could hear voices outside of the clinic. Lots of them, loud and happy. I could also hear loud, cheery music playing. I was officially confused. Wasn’t Equestria well and truly screwed not all that long ago? I could hear hoofsteps in the hall outside my room. They came to a stop at my door and it swung open.

And I kid not with you, I think I almost fainted. Again. My family walked in first, followed by Princess Celestia herself. What in the world? How did… Ya know what, screw it. I suddenly stopped caring as I did my best to bow from my bed. It hurt like crazy, but I managed what I hoped was a satisfactory bow of my head. I stuttered for a moment, words momentarily failing me.

“Nettle, you can stop bowing now.” Mom urged gently, rubbing my back. I flopped back into my pillow and looked at Princess Celestia with a combination of disbelief, excitement and utter terror.

“Greetings, Stinging Nettle.” She suddenly said in a voice that put my moms mothering tone to shame. I nodded my greeting, not sure if I should say anything. “Your family brought it to my attention that you were wounded by one of Nightmare Moon’s stray lightning bolts.”

“Uh, yes your majesty.” I said, looking down.

“Please, you may dispose of formalities for now.” Celestia said, causing me to relax heavily.

“Uh, yeah… I did get hit. Was anypony else wounded?” I asked, earning a shake of Celestia’s head. “Oh thank goodness.” I muttered, rubbing some of the accumulated chunks of sleep sand from my eyes.

“It shouldn’t be anything too hard to fix.” Celestia said, causing my ears to snap to attention along with my eyes as I looked up at her.

“Woah, hold on, what? No offense, but don’t you have anything more important to be doing then healing a wound that the doctors already confirmed can be healed?” I asked hastily. Celestia just smiled warmly, her horn lighting up with a golden aura.

As she went to work on fixing me up, Noctis explained to me that Celestia had grown weary of the crowd and press. She filled me in on what happened since I was hit. The elements of harmony being discovered, along with their users. I was intrigued, honestly. Then, Dad followed up on that to explain that Celestia had spotted my family away from the rest of the partying crowd, stressing out over my health.

She approached them and asked if she could be of any help. Soon enough I was basically caught up on everything. I was a little stiff from Celestia sitting right there, but I was getting used to it. My chest was healed. Celestia nodded, spoke with the doctor briefly and before I knew what was going on, I was being unhooked and sent on my merry way home.

<^><^><^><^>

Well, that was an adventure. Might I just say, life kind of got weird in Ponyville after that. It seemed like every other week or so there was something going on between Twilight Sparkle and her friends that somehow had the capacity to impact the entire town. One way or the other, I soon wrote a letter to Swallow to fill her in on what happened to me during all of this. Naturally she was worried, but I assured her I was fine.

Contrary to that, though, I wasn't fine. I wanted to pour my heart out to her more and more. but after the bolt of lightning, I didn't want to worry her about my health. So I just kept quiet about that. Of course, things are never so simple as for me to be able to just pick myself up and get better. I met that issue face-to-face when I met a griffon for the first time.

It was a sunny day with virtually no breeze. I was at the Market, in the process of picking up some food for the house. Mom had a really big dinner planned tonight and had sent me to do the buying of the food. Made sense, I guess. I hadn’t been getting out of the house anywhere near enough. I approached the nearest stand with the items on my list.

While I was waiting for my turn, as I was third or so in line, my eye caught something I had never seen outside of picture books. My jaw fell open slightly as I realized it was a griffon. She had a light brown coat and white feathers for a head. I blanked for a few minutes, just observing the rare specimen meander around. She had a cocky sort of posture, her head held high and a smirk on her face that made me uneasy. It was the kind of look that generally meant trouble.

After a minute or two, I realized that I was staring far more than I should have and approached the counter, the last pony before me taking her items and trotting away. I spent the next few minutes being picky about what to get. Mom wanted the dinner to be perfect, so I was making sure I got the best specimens possible of the desired qualities.

I payed for the goods once I had them and turned to leave for the next stand. Of course, I never really made it to the next stand because my nose basically rammed into the furred and feathered chest of a griffon. Well… crap.

“Watch where you’re goin’!” She said angrily, causing me to back up slightly.

“My apologies.” I said rubbing my now distinctly sore nose.

“What, we goin’ all formal now? ‘My apologies?’ We aren’t at some fancy canterlot party.” The griffon snorted, narrowing her eyes at me.

“You think I don’t know that? I was trying to be polite.” I groaned, shifting to walk past her. I wasn’t exactly in the best of moods that day, so the next word just kind of came out on it’s own. “Idiot.”

In hindsight, saying that was basically the stupidest thing I could have done. Before I could really process it, the griffon grabbed my tail with her front talons and took to the sky, taking me with her.

The Cutest Little Monsters

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This was more than humiliating. After flying me all over the place in the sky and almost making me throw up from motion sickness, the Griffon tied me up by my tail to a tree branch in the middle of the park. Why did this damn thing have to keep showing up? I struggled in vain, trying to untie myself, but I lacked the muscle power or strength to bend that far when hanging upside down by my tail.

“Well, well, well!” An oh so familiar, and at the same time, oh so very detestable voice called out. I groaned and glared in the direction of the voice as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon approached.

“Do you idiots want something?” I snapped, crossing my forelegs over my chest.

“Now that you mention it, we still have a score to settle…” Tiara said sinisterly. It only succeeded in pissing me off, rather than intimidating me.

“Oh, do we?” I grumbled, narrowing my eyes at her.

“Remember? That day in front of the school house? You yelled at me and threatened to hurt me.” Tiara said, tone going low.

“...You’re kidding right? You’re still sore over that? That was almost two years ago!” I half-yelled, flailing my forelegs around for emphasis.

“I never forget when somepony wrongs me.” Tiara snorted, leaning down to look at the ground.

“Well, maybe you oughta remember that next time you pick on somepony. Might just save you some trouble down the line.” I snarled, crossing my forelegs again and returning to glaring at her in silence.

“Last I checked, you’ve broken your fair share of hearts, too. Like, oh, I don’t know… Starless Night?” Tiara quipped as she scooped up a small rock in her hooves.

My eyes widened and a sinister scowl spread across my face. “Shut. Up.” I growled, tensing up significantly.

“It’s not like there's much you can do from up there, you know.” Tiara replied, smirking up at me and tossing the rock in the air before catching it again.

“Diamond Tiara, I swear, if you open that stupid mouth of yours one more time I will break your neck!” I suddenly screamed, my breath coming in angered pants.

“Ooh, touched a nerve, did I? And do you think you’d really be able to get away with that? You’d be locked up before you could say ‘Tiara was right.’” Tiara snarked out before pitching back and throwing the stone at me. I winced as it struck me in the forehead before falling uselessly to the ground.

I let out a blood-curdling scream of rage and started thrashing, starting to swing wildly from the branch. My eyes never left Tiara though, my hooves swiping uselessly at her with the intent of trying to grab her. She was too far away however. “Come closer and say that to my face!” I raged on, trying to swing to the tree so I could kick off of it. Maybe if I moved hard and fast enough my tail would come undone or just rip. Either way, I’d be free to beat this stupid little-

“Nah. I think I’ve done enough damage to you, pinata. How about you just let it all soak in for now? Come on, Silver. Let’s get out of here.” Diamond Tiara replied with a tone of fake pity before bumping hooves with her cohort and trotting away, leaving me to scream and thrash angrily against the tree.

Eventually, I managed to calm down enough to stop thrashing and try to undo the knot holding me in place with a bit more rational thought. Nothing worked however. I was too far away from the trunk to be able to swing over and use that to climb onto the branch. In the end, I had to resort to sitting there, waiting for somepony to come along and get me down.

Thankfully, Rainbow Dash came along less than an hour later. Apparently, everypony had gone to a Pinkie party for the griffon, Gilda. It had ended in disaster, reportedly, as Gilda was a terrible party guest. One way or the other, I was down from the tree. My butt was sore for a few days, but oh well. When I got home, I was more than tired, humiliated and a little depressed.

Tiara had made a point. I did break Star’s heart, and the guilt of how I used her like a shield was still weighing me down pretty badly. I wound up sending a letter to Swallow telling her about my encounter with Gilda and how she left me dangling from a tree. Naturally, Swallows reply was filled with concerns and some ranting over Diamond Tiara, but also cautioning me to not do anything rash.

<^><^><^><^>

It was a few weeks after that incident happened, and school was the last place I wanted to be. So I simply didn’t go. Diamond Tiara’s comments and remarks left me feeling vulnerable and uneasy. I had sent in a letter to Cherilee saying I wouldn’t be attending for a while. I was well aware that my grades were suffering horribly, but at the moment I didn’t care. I was more focused on trying to keep my emotions under control. Mom had started harping on me about going back as time progressed, which wasn’t helping my mood.

Naturally, though, I couldn’t keep away from it all forever. It was a friday, no more than an hour after school gets out. I was up in my room reading a book, trying to tune out the rest of the world for a while. I heard some talking downstairs before a knock came to my door. I looked up and grunted out a confirmation.

The door slowly swung open to reveal Mom and Miss Cherilee standing on the other side.

“Nettle, Cherilee wants to talk to you.” Mom said, gesturing for me to follow. I groaned, put my book down and followed them downstairs. Soon enough I was sitting in a chair with Cherilee sitting across from me.

“What do you want?” I asked, a bit more sharply than intended.

“Nettle, you’ve missed over two weeks of school. Your grades are plummeting and your friends are worried about you. You need to come back to class soon.” Cherilee explained, looking at me sternly.

“I’m sure you think that way, but as long as Diamond Tiara is there, I am not going near that school.” I snorted, leaning back in my chair slightly.

“What did she even say to you?” Cherilee asked with firm curiosity.

“None of your business.”

“Stinging Nettle, if it’s keeping you away from school then it becomes my business.” Cherilee replied, looking at me intensely. I looked away, closing my eyes.

“It’s personal.” I said quietly before sighing heavily.

Cherilee opened her mouth to ask more questions, but mom thankfully barged into the conversation to interrupt. “Do you remember the incident in the plaza a couple of years ago? Related to Swallow?” She asked Cherilee, stepping forward.

“Yes, why?” Cherilee asked curiously, turning her gaze to my mother.

“It’s kind of similar. A romantic mishap of sorts that sort of… tore him down. Diamond Tiara pushed the buttons related to that issue.” Mom explained, looking over at me.

“I see…” Cherilee said quietly looking at me with worry in her eyes. “Nettle, I know it’ll be something of a challenge, but I’m here to help. You need to come back to school.”

“I…” I looked up to my mother for some reason. Maybe I was just looking for some kind of encouragement. She smiled and nodded. “I… Ugh, fine. I’ll come back on monday.” I said half-heartedly. Cherilee smiled.

“I’ll hold you to that, Nettle.” She said before standing and exiting the building. I slumped tiredly against the chair I was in and let out a long, tired sigh.

<^><^><^><^>

Monday rolled around soon enough. I was tired and annoyed, but was able to focus well enough on what was going on to only be mildly confused because of how much stuff I had missed. I managed to get a bit of help from Brimstone, luckily enough. School, on behalf of Princess Celestia’s visit later, came to an early close for that day and I started on my way home. Naturally, life had to turn around and slam it’s spiked horseshoe into my flank.

I heard something of a commotion coming from the marketplace as I was drawing closer to it, but paid little attention. I started paying attention when a big wave of purple magic suddenly expanded from the marketplace, washing over me and every other house in the area. My eyes snapped wide open and I looked towards the marketplace. All was quiet for a minute. What the hay was going on?

My answer came in the form of returning panicked screams from the market and a large number of tiny specks flying towards me. I raised an eyebrow and backed up slowly, but rapidly gaining speed. What were those things? They were adorable, but oddly threatening. Their big eyes and happy smiles were quite cute, but the speed and determination with which they were coming at me made me suddenly fear for my life.

So, I turned and started galloping the other way. I was a bit slow to the draw, however, and the first batch caught up with me. Before I really knew what was happening, I saw a large mouth open wide and then snap closed less than an inch from my eye. I stopped and shook my head to shake it away, whatever it was. Much to my surprise, my glasses suddenly flew off my face.

I looked on as my trusty glasses were suddenly devoured by a small swarm of tiny colorful ping-pong balls with eyes and insect wings.

That’s about when my vision went to tartarus. I operated purely off of instinct and ran for my house. All around me chaos and mayhem filled my ears as multi-colored blurs shot all over the place. I heard ponies screaming and crying out as the situation got worse. I tried to tune it all out as I rushed to get to my house. It wasn’t far, that much I knew.

My speed and blurry vision didn’t really allow me to tell what was happening, which resulted in tripped on a stray piece of wood that must have fallen from a partially eaten house. I was back on my hooves in a hurry, though. I was near my house, that much I knew. I couldn’t read the numbers on the doors, and this time, I didn’t exactly have the luxury of being able to count in my head and find my house.

Thank Celestia I was spotted, though. “Nettle!” I heard Noctis calling. I turned and bolted for him. He was standing in the doorway, forelegs outstretched towards me. My depth perception, shot as it was without my glasses, caused me to plow right into him and send us both tumbling into the house. The door was rapidly shut by Dad.

“Nettle, oh my goodness, are you okay?!” He asked, kneeling down to check me for wounds.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I replied, getting up and helping Noctis to his hooves. “What the buck are those things?!”

“I don’t know, but-” Noctis started to answer before the sound of shattering glass could be heard from upstairs. From my room, to specific.

“Oh, crap!” I exclaimed, charging up the stairs at a full gallop, almost tripping multiple times. I made the turn and entered into my room. The window was shattered, the frame partially eaten. Already all of my stuff was in shambles. My bed was currently being devoured, along with some of the words from my books. I know that sounds crazy, but seriously, these little things were drinking them up like soup.

I heard the sound of rustling papers and turned my eyes to my left in time to see my lockbox flying open. Three of the little creatures were beginning to suck the words out of Swallows letters! A sudden, unforgiving rage filled my system. I charged and stomped down, feeling something scrunching underneath my hoof. The rest of the buzzing in my room suddenly got considerably quieter as the other creatures looked on at me in shock, floating still in the air.

“Get. OUT!” I screamed, stomping at another one. It managed to evade my hoof, but they got the message and shot out of my room. I immediately turned my attention to the dead ball-like bug on my floor and the partially eaten letters. As the rage filling my system began to subside, it was replaced with a sense of sad disappointment.

I just stood there for a while, just staring at the ruined letters while the chaos continued to rage on outside. I scooped up the letters, which had fallen out of the lockbox, and gently set them back in before closing it. I let out a sigh and turned my attention back to my broken window and the swarm outside. Oddly, things seemed quiet. I approached the window and glanced out. Many of the horrible little creatures were now bobbing up and down in the air as though to music.

Speaking of which, I heard what sounded a small band playing down the street. Glancing out my window, I noticed a pink blur which I could only assume was Pinkie Pie marching down the street, I was later informed that she went about it completely straight faced, playing perhaps five or six different marching band instruments all at once. Don’t ask me how, it eludes me as well. All I know for sure is she was playing the music, drawing the creatures into a trail behind her. they were following the music? Weird.

With the mayhem having subsided, at least for now, I retreated down the steps into the living room to make sure all was well.

<^><^><^><^>

Ponyville was in shambles after that. Luckily, repairs were in progress pretty quickly. After taking my part in the repair effort of the house, I sent a letter to Swallow to tell her about this odd occurrence.

Swallow

Well, this week was eventful. Ponyville was basically torn to pieces by little floating ball-shaped bugs called Parasprites. No need to worry, all is well here. Repairs are underway and nopony was seriously injured. I kinda wish you had been here to see it all happen, but at the same time I know I wouldn’t want you here at the time of the infestation. It was kinda scary.

I lost my glasses during it all. The little bugs literally ate them. I was blind for a while, there, but I’ve got new glasses now. They’re an updated prescription, so that basically means I can see better now.

How are things going with you? Anything new or fun to tell me about? What about the dream world? Is all going well there?

~Stinging Nettle.

Her response came in a little over a week.

Nettle

I heard about that incident from a newspaper. The pictures made the damage look absolutely dreadful! I’m glad things are getting fixed up. Apparently, a group of ponies is being sent to aid in the repairs. I hope everything is back to normal soon. What sort of glasses do you have now?

And as for the dreams, well, I hate to tell you this, but they ended. It’s been over two weeks since my last one. It all ended on a sort of bittersweet, final note, though. I doubt they’ll ever come back. It’s kind of depressing, knowing that I’ll never get to see some of the friends I made in there, but I know that they are a part of me. I can revisit the memories whenever I want.

~Twinkling Swallow.

It was a little saddening to hear that her dreams had ended. It had basically been a non-stop story for me to listen to and help influence ever since I met Swallow. but, like she said, she could revisit the memories, which I was a little envious about. The issue is, I can’t do that. I can never see it the way she did. I can’t hear the voices or see anything beyond what my imagination paints for me, and that in it’s own right is ultimately a flawed image.

But, ultimately, it matters little. Time continued to pass. Ponyville was back on it’s hooves soon enough. Everything seemed to be going well; that is, until a few months later, when order and harmony would die all across Equestria. Well, at least for a day or so and it all started with a field trip to canterlot...

That I missed because I was sick. Ain’t I just lucky, huh?

The Spirit Of Chaos

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When I woke up that morning, I felt very sick to my stomach. Nothing new, as I’d been sick for about five days now. Damn cupcakes. With a tired groan, I went to roll out of bed. My stomach suddenly churned as gravity inverted and I fell to the floor above me. Groaning again, I slowly stood and glanced out the window. Wait… It was morning a second ago. What the heck? It was night now. I slowly walked toward the window and looked outside. This was the antithesis of normal.

The hills were multi-colored checkerboards, houses were upside down, others were now flat cardboard cutouts and other things too unimaginable to properly comprehend were scattered all over the place. With a sharp intake of breath, I darted downstairs.

“Mom, dad!” I called desperately. When I came into the living room, I stopped dead in my tracks. Mom was walking on the ceiling and seemed to have chicken legs. Dad was stumbling about with a fishbowl on his head and Noctis was nowhere to be seen. My jaw fell open at the odd sight.

Without thinking, I ran up to dad and ripped the fishbowl off of his head. Water fell everywhere, splashing on the floor and drowning out the surprised yelp I made. “What?!” I half-screamed as my dad’s head went with the fishbowl, his body continuing to stumble around. I stood, frozen.

“Hi, son! Does it seem kind of moist to you today?” Dad’s disembodied head suddenly asked from the fishbowl, causing me to drop it and leap back.

“Okay, What the actual BUCK!?” I demanded, looking at my dads head as a goldfish suddenly swam into his left ear and out his right.

“Nettle! Language!” He said sternly as his shambling body came back, scooped up his head and put it back onto his shoulders.

“Yeah, no! Sorry, but I think that I have the right to curse up a storm with what’s going on here. By the way, What the hell is going on here?!” I yelled out, looking around the room as a couple of books on the coffee table suddenly sprouted legs and began to run around.

A voice suddenly spoke in my mind, driving a sharp spike of fear into me.

Oh, just a fun little touch of chaos.

“Show yourself!” I demanded, spinning around and glaring at the air. After a moment, there was a bright flash of light. I stumbled back and rubbed the sparks from my eyes before looking at the figure in front of me. My eyes widened considerably as he leaned down, red pupils surrounded by yellow corneas staring me, almost literally, in the soul.

“Hello, there.” He said with a jovial amusement that seemed harmless, yet had an underlying sinisterness to it that made me start to shake.

“Who are you?!” I asked, voice shaking.

The strange serpent took an exaggerated bow, swooping a hat off of his head. Where did he get that? He looked up at me, an oh-so twisted and happy grin on his face. “Spirit of chaos and disharmony, as well as the new ruler of Equestria, Discord, at your service. How about a cup of chocolate milk?”

I looked at this ‘Discord’ with confusion as he summoned up a small glass of chocolate milk in his hand. My headache amplified about twenty times. “How ‘bout no?” I deadpanned, taking another step back.

“Oh, suit yourself.” Discord pouted before swigging the cup. My eye twitched when he drank the glass instead. All that remained was a chunk of chocolate milk. Discord looked it over for a moment before it poofed out of existence.

“What is going on?” I asked, looking out the window nearby at the mind boggling landscape.

“One simple word, my boy. Chaos.” Discord replied before he vanished in a flash of light. Dad walked up next to me.

“I like his moustache.” He said.

<^><^><^><^>

“Noctis?! Where are you?!” I called as I ran through the streets, if one could call them that. Pink and blue checkerboarded ground now comprised of some unknown material was making it very hard to decide, but I was ultimately not paying that a lot of attention. I was trying to find my brother in the hopes that I’d find somepony sane to ask about this situation.

“Oh, my! You really had some fun that night, didn’t you?” Discord suddenly asked from right over my head. I skidded to a halt.

“What are you-” I started to ask before my words caught in my throat. Discord was holding Swallows letters up to his face, reading them. My eyes narrowed. “Put those back.”

“Come now, be neighborly!” Discord said, bending back and peering over the letters at me.

“I’m not your neighbor. Also, I’m pretty sure I hate you.” I snarled out, stomping a hoof for emphasis.

“Oh, on the contrary.” Discord shot back with a smirk. Snapping his fingers, I was suddenly engulfed in yet another flash of light. When I opened my eyes after the light faded, I gasped. I wasn’t in ponyville anymore. We were standing in a large garden, which had received some pretty big changes itself. My house suddenly appeared and plopped down next to an empty statue plaque. Discord appeared in front of it all. “We are, Neighbors! Well, we are now, at any rate.”

“Where are we?” I demanded, looking around. As I did, I realized where we were before he opened his mouth. Of course, I didn’t really get much of a chance to process that entirely, as there was another bright flash of light and I found myself deposited back in Ponyville.

“We were in Canterlot.” Discord said from behind me. I whipped around to glare at him, but he was gone. “I have some business to take care of. I’ll be seeing you later, little love-bird!” Discord cheered into my mind before fading away. I stood dumbfounded for several moments. That was Canterlot we were just in. Swallow lived in Canterlot.

My lips peeled back to show my teeth, clenched tightly together in a snarl. “What did you do to Swallow?!” I screamed out, hoping he would answer me. No answer came, though. “Do you hear me, you lunatic?!”

“Yes, yes, I hear you. Didn’t I just say I’m busy?” Discord's voice echoed around me.

“Do I need to repeat myself?! What did you do to Swallow?!”

“I haven’t done anything to her.” Discord said before a mirror poofed into existence in front of me. I tilted my head and stepped forwards. The mirror, interestingly enough, didn’t show my reflection. It showed Swallow, walking through the Canterlot streets. There was another pony, a colt around my age, next to her that I didn’t recognize. They were talking back and forth, though I had no idea what they were saying. The mirror showed only the image.

Swallow suddenly burst out laughing, the colt smiling softly at her as they came to a stop. After a few moments, Swallow stopped laughing and looked up at him. The two stared at each other for a few moments before Swallow suddenly leaned forwards and kissed the colt on the lips. My mind blanked. He didn’t seem at all surprised and wrapped a foreleg around her in an embrace. I took a step back. I wanted to say something, but no words came.

“Is this… real?” I finally managed to ask, trying hard to keep the tremble out of my tone. Discord made no reply. He must have gone off to do whatever he was doing. In the mirror, Swallow and the other pony separated, smiled, and walked out of my viewport. The mirror slowly rippled out of existence after that, leaving me all alone in the warped streets of Ponyville. I looked down. That couldn’t have been real, could it?

Real or not, it cemented one thing ever more firmly into my head. Swallow didn’t love me. If the image was real, she’d already found somepony else. If the image wasn’t real, she would find somepony else eventually. A chill ran down my spine. I turned around and walked away from the scene with no clear destination.

<^><^><^><^>

A house floating upside down. A bunch of buffalo river-dancing. Some weird black box with a moving picture in it. A pony with no wings… flying. All that and about a million other incomprehensible things were what surrounded me as I meandered aimlessly through the streets, just trying to stay in motion. Maybe I’d find somepony I knew who had not gone completely insane.

Of course, with my sanity starting to dwindle with every passing moment, that was starting to seem very unlikely. It was at some point while I was traveling down the light blue and off pink checkered road, trying to avoid the floating puddles of soapy water that made me slip onto my back. How does that even work? I mean I swear the next thing I was going to see is a pony swimming in a small flat puddle of… milk. My hoof connected firmly with my face as I just saw said thought float past me between houses that were changing colors like a disco dance floor.

Something was starting to get to me. I hadn’t noticed it until around about this point, but my stomach was starting to feel sick, my muscles sore and my head was starting to pound. I paused to try and relax, but the unpleasant sensations were only getting worse. On instinct, I reached a hoof up to clutch at my head as the pain got worse. When I saw my hoof, I grimaced. I was losing some of my color. Wonderful.

I tried to take a step forward, only to find my sense of balance was more or less non-existent now. I toppled over and fell flat onto my side, the wind being knocked straight out of my lungs upon impact. My eyes had slammed shut on reflex. When I opened them up again, the world around me was starting to warp, bend and distort as though a reflection in a pool of water that’s waves were getting harsher and harsher.

“Damn it…” I groaned, clutching at my barrel as my stomach began to twist and turn on itself. I coughed and some of my dinner from the previous day came shooting up and splattered on the ground in front of me. At this point, I was panicking, but had no strength left to do much other than lay there and groan out in slowly growing pain. What was wrong with me?!

I tried in vain to force myself to my hooves, but the effort was futile. I let my head rest for a minute, feeling my eyelids getting heavy. A nap suddenly sounded like an absolutely fantastic idea. As my eyes began to close of their own accord, I heard somepony calling out my name, though who it was, I could not tell.

<^><^><^><^>

To be blunt, I felt like shit. Excuse my french, but it’s true. I was in a lot of pain, felt more drowsy and groggy than I had ever felt before and my stomach was trying to eject food that simply wasn’t in there. When I opened my eyes, hard as it was, I was greeted to the sight of Noctis, eyes screwed shut and his horn aglow. My vision was tinted slightly with the color of his aura, indicating I was the target of his magic. I said nothing for a few moments, waiting for him to drop the spell.

He didn’t. It stayed up for a solid minute before I noticed the sweat matting down Noctis’ fur. He must have been channeling this for a while. “Noctis?” I asked carefully, my voice rough and hoarse.

He jumped slightly, then cracked one eye open slightly to look at me. “Finally awake, are we?” He asked with some effort.

“What happened?” I asked, glancing around to find that we were in a regular Ponyville shop. Looked like quills and sofas.

“I found you passed out on the street with fresh vomit and a watered down color palette. You tell me.” Noctis said, wincing as his magic wavered slightly. I was in a barrier. Small enough to contain me, and rather thin by the looks of it. Probably the only thing it could keep out was air.

“I don’t know. I just got really sick really fast and then you found me, I guess.” I muttered, shaking my head to get some of the grogginess out. It didn’t really work.

“Must be all of this… Chaos. I felt kinda sick there for a bit myself. This magic... I don’t imagine this much of it is very healthy for regular ponies.” Noctis theorized, taking a deep breath after and squeezing his eyes shut again.

“What are you doing?” I asked, finally. Noctis looked up at me and put on a forced smile.

“Keeping you safe from it. Duh.” He said, only slightly deadpan.

“Are you sure you can handle it?” I asked carefully, looking at the now flickering barrier.

“Nope.” And with that, the barrier dropped, Noctis falling to the ground and taking deep breaths. I stood slowly, making sure I had my balance before walking up to him and settling down.

“Thanks…” I said, patting him on the back. He coughed a couple of times before smiling over at me.

“No prob.”

We sat there for a long while, just waiting. I could feel my sickness slowly starting to creep back into my system. I sent a mental wish to anything that could hear it that this would all be over when… if I woke up. As I did so, I set my head down and let myself get pulled back into that oh-so uncomfortable sleep.

<^><^><^><^>

When I came to, it was to Noctis shaking me awake. “Nettle! Nettle! Wake up!”

“Ugh… what?” I groaned, realising shortly after that, while still a little queasy, I actually only felt the sort of grogginess that comes with a really good sleep.

“I think it’s over.” Noctis said gently, helping me to my hooves. I slowly stood and stumbled my way after him as he made his way out the door of the store. The grass and streets were back to normal. I could see a large crowd of Ponies starting to assemble, the vast majority of them starting to cheer.

When I made it outside and saw what they were all looking it, I was stunned into silence. A pleased smirk spread across my face. I saw Discord, frozen in stone, panic and fear on his face. Twilight Sparkle and her friends were standing in front of the statue, smiling back on the crowd. Well, Discord was taken care of.

I let a sigh of relief exit my system. I turned to face Noctis, who was now making his way back towards the house. Hoping it was still there, I turned and followed after him.

<^><^><^><^>

Swallow,

Had you not experienced a similar time, I would say you would not believe what I have been through in the last forty eight hours. Obviously you know about Discord. I hope you’re doing alright. I myself am fine, if a little shaken up by this mess. To think, it all started at about a time when I would have been in Canterlot had I not been super sick.

Well, at least it’s over. I won’t be able to attend the Ceremony in Canterlot next week, either. Mom, dad, Noctis and I are going on a trip out of town to visit my grandparents, who live in the countryside. I’ll send a letter your way when I get back from that particular trip.

I gotta get going now, so, see you later, I guess.

~Stinging Nettle.

I sighed as I finished writing up the letter before stuffing it into an envelope and making my way downstairs so I could send it. Things were plenty noisy downstairs as I walked into the living room, with mom coordinating packing and dad double checking to make sure we had enough in the way of bits to pay for transportation to and from our destination.

I was already packed and ready to go, just as soon as I sent the letter. Once it was safely nestled in the Mailbox, the rest of my family came out. “Ready Nettle?” Mom asked, passing my suitcase up to me. It would be a short walk to the carriage station, and then an almost twenty-four hour ride to reach our destination.

“Yeah, pretty much. Let’s go.” I replied, taking my suitcase and following the rest of my family as we locked up the house and made our way for the station. I had a funny feeling as we left Ponyville that day. I glanced up at Canterlot with concern. Swallow was the one pony I had yet to hear from since Discord showed up.

That fact alone was enough to fill me with worry. Still, I’d find out when we got back how everything went. It was only ten days out on the countryside, than back home, with my parchment and my letters on my desk, waiting for me.

The Empty Mailbox

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Ten days later…

I took in a deep breath and let a smile cross my face as I climbed out of the carriage with everypony else and started towards my house. I wasn’t really paying much attention to my family. As my house came back into view, my eyes zeroed in on the mailbox. I picked up my pace a bit, making my way towards it. As I reached it, I flipped it open and peered inside. Ten days of mail. Ugh. Oh well, I had time.

I pulled a chunk of mail out and made my way for the door of the house as it was pulled open by Dad. I set down the mail on the table and turned to look at Mom and Noctis set more mail on the table. “We all know what I’m wanting.” I said, sitting down at a chair to start sifting through the mail.

“Yes, yes. Your letter from Swallow is…” Dad shifted some envelopes around for a bit before withdrawing the obvious one. “Right here.”

“Alright, thanks.” I said before taking the envelope and rushing to my room. I couldn’t help but notice the exasperated noise Noctis made as I charged up the stairs. Probably because I suddenly stopped helping them with the mail.

All the same, I reached my room and sat myself down at my desk. Without hesitation I pulled open the envelope and withdrew the note inside.

Nettle,

I hope you had a good time with your grandparents! I’m sure you’ll still be out there when this letter hits your mailbox. All is going well on my end. My sister is a little freaked out from the whole Discord incident, but aside from that she is doing fine. I myself caught a cold, again. It shouldn’t take long for it to wear off, though.

Also, did you hear the big news? There’s a big wedding happening here in Canterlot! Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is marrying the captain of the royal guard! The whole town is abuzz about it. On the downside, word has gotten out about a threat made against Canterlot from an unknown enemy. Rumors are everywhere about who or what it might be, but with any luck, nothing will come of it.

I have to go now, I have a few things I need to take care of. I look forward to hearing from you again.

~Twinkling Swallow.

“Nettle! Get down here!!” I suddenly heard Noctis shouting from below. His voice had an edge to it that made me nervous. I quickly stood from my seat and went to head down the stairs, but paused by my window. I could see ponies in the street, looking to the north, some looked fearful, others looked shocked, the rest had varying mixtures of the two.

A lump formed in my throat as I darted out of my room. When I reached the living room, it was empty and the door stood open. I could see my family just beyond, looking to the north with everypony else in awe. I approached.

“What’s going on-” My words caught in my throat as when I exited the house, my eyes rested on Canterlot up in the mountains. It was smoking from several points, and I could see the occasional green flash of light, albeit they were very faint. My eyes widened as I remembered what Swallow had said in the letter.

A threat made against Canterlot from an unknown enemy…

Oh no…

“What’s happening up there?!” I asked sharply, looking around to everypony for an answer. None seemed to know, eyes locked on the burning city. My mind was reeling. Panic was starting to set in. Swallow was in danger. She lived in Canterlot, and now the city was under attack! I paused to try and calm down, but my mind was going into overdrive.

“Please, somepony tell me they know what’s going on up there!” I half shouted in desperation, earning a wince from some of the nearby ponies. My eyes darted from face to face, trying to see if anypony would speak up. Then my eyes rested on a white stallion with a neat, well combed brown mane and tail. He had a bowtie around his neck and very vibrant green eyes. The horn protruding from his forehead marked him as a unicorn. He was staring intently at the city, but his expression was very different from everypony else's.

Most seemed afraid, nervous or shocked. This pony… he was angry. His eyes burned with a fury the likes of which I hadn’t seen in a long time. There was something else in his eyes, a sort of solemn tint underneath the raging fire. It clicked; if anypony knew something, it would be him. I opted not to pursue that immediately however, instead choosing to take a few deep breaths and get my head together.

“Changelings…” I heard somepony utter. I looked around for a moment before my eyes settled on the white pony. His eyes had turned to look at me. He no longer looked angry, but instead sympathetic. He took a step towards me. “Changelings are attacking Canterlot.” He said quietly, directly to me.

“What’s a changeling?” I asked, blanking entirely on the name.

“Changelings are shapeshifters. They assume the form of other ponies and then replace them. From there, they feed off of the love others felt for the pony they have taken the place of.” The white stallion said, lowering his gaze slightly. His voice was tinged with an edge of disgust and revulsion.

“How do you know it’s changelings?” I asked before I really thought about it.

“...I’ve run into them before. Let’s just leave it at that.” The white pony said quietly, turning his eyes back towards the smoking city in the mountains. “I just hope they’re stopped there. If they can take Canterlot, the rest of Equestria will surely follow.”

“Princess Celestia will stop them.” Another pony, a mare, said confidently, having been listening in to the discussion.

“You underestimate them. Changelings feed on one of, if not the most powerful of all emotions; Love. The stronger the love, the stronger they become as a result. All the same… I hope you’re right.”

I turned my eyes fully back to the city and continued to observe. The smoke was getting thicker, indicating that the burning fires were getting bigger and stronger. Swallow… I thought. Please… be safe.

I watched for several more minutes before turning and rushing inside of my house and up to my room. There was very little I could do from here right now. All I could do was send a letter, and hope with all of my heart that I got a response. I entered my room and closed the door before seating myself and setting about writing.

Swallow,

I just saw the smoke. Swallow, please tell me you’re okay! As soon as you get a chance, let me know you’re safe! Please, don’t be hurt…

~Stinging Nettle.

I wrote it as quickly as possible. It was rough, jagged and almost illegible. As soon as I finished writing it, however, I glanced out my window again. The white stallion from before was looking up into my window from the street below. I saw a look in his eyes that made me pause. He looked sad, guilty, even. He noticed me looking, turned, and walked away.

<^><^><^><^>

three weeks later.

I closed the mailbox with a heavy sigh. Nothing from Swallow.

Thankfully, the Changeling invasion in Canterlot had been stopped the day it started by Princess Cadance and her new husband, Shining Armor. I didn’t know how exactly they did it, and I wasn’t really paying any attention to that specifically. All of my attention these last three weeks had been on my mail, or lack of mail, rather.

In the three weeks since the changeling attack, I had gotten nothing from Swallow. Absolutely nothing. I was worried sick, and spent almost all of my mornings down by the mailbox, just waiting for the mail pony to come so that, if Swallow had sent anything, I would get it as soon as possible.

But nothing came. Only silence and junk mail. I barely slept, my mind racing with worries and concerns about what might have happened. Scenarios played out in my mind every time I closed my eyes, and all of them were horrible.

I let my hoof fall away from the mailbox to hit the earth with a heavy thud. I stood there for several moments, head down, eyes shut tight and mind racing. I tried to think positively; Maybe she had simply lost her house, or the post office from Canterlot had been damaged during the attack and wasn’t taking personal letters for delivery right now. Possible, I assumed, but unlikely.

Maybe she had lost her house or mailbox? Maybe she was simply incapable of responding due to the circumstances? All seemed possible, but without any concrete evidence, I had no way of saying for sure. I was completely in the dark. And it was killing me.

I felt a tear trail down my cheek. I didn’t bother moving to wipe it away, instead opting to simply let them flow freely. I shifted into a sitting position and began to cry silently to myself. The thought that Swallow might be… No. I thought immediately. She’s fine. She’s alive! She is up there and just can’t reach me right now. She isn’t… dead… as those words ran through my mind, I felt myself start to tremble.

I was terrified of that possibility. I had heard that, while many ponies had survived the attack ,there had been fatal casualties. Not many, thankfully, but the fact that there were any fatalities was terrifying to me. If Swallow was among the dead…

I tried to push the thoughts out of my head, banish the mental images that were forming in my mind. But they were relentless. They just kept coming. I clenched my teeth and slammed my left forehoof into the earth to try and channel some of my emotion out through the punch, but it didn't work. In fact, it only made it worse.

An image came into my mind, a visualization that I wish I could forget. An image of a gravestone, with the name ‘Twinkling Swallow’ etched in it. I shook my head violently.

“No… no No NO!” It started as no more than a whisper and grew into a desperate, agonized shout. I punched the earth again, losing control of myself. The images kept running through my mind and I just couldn’t banish them. The mere thought of losing her was too much…

“Hey, are you alright?” A familiar voice asked from nearby. My eyes snapped open and shifted over to see the white Stallion standing there, looking at me with a sorrowful gaze.

“N-no…” I stuttered, looking away again and wiping a foreleg across my eyes to rid myself of some of the tears. More replaced them immediately.

“What’s wrong?” The stallion asked. I heard his hoofsteps approaching.

“I… I might have lost somepony in the Changeling attack on Canterlot. I d-don’t know for sure, yet. B-but just the thought is killing me...:” I managed to say, trying and failing to calm down.

“I see… that’s a misery I wouldn’t wish on anypony.” the stallion said, giving me a reassuring pat on the back. I shivered uncontrollably. “You’re Stinging Nettle, right?”

“Yeah…” I looked over at him as he straightened his bow-tie.

“I’m Emerald Shade. Nice to meet you.” He said, holding out a hoof to me. I looked at it, but didn’t bother to do anything. All of my own limbs felt heavier than I wanted to deal with right now.

“That’s nice…” I mumbled, looking down and closing my eyes again.

“Well, Nettle, this is gonna sound odd, but if you ever feel like talking to somepony about this, I’d be more than happy to listen and offer my thoughts. I’m no therapist, but i know enough about emotions to help in some capacity, if you want.” Shade said, albeit slightly hesitantly.

“Huh…? Why?” I asked, confused. “Why offer to help me without knowing me?”

“Well, I’m new here. I gotta make friends somehow. That, and it pains me to see anypony so distraught.” Shade replied, smiling softly at me.

“...I’ll think about it. Thanks for… the offer…” I muttered before slowly standing.

“No problem. I’m usually at the nearest coffee shop in the mornings. What’s it called again?”

“It’s called ‘The Sweetest Mix’.” I replied quietly.

“Ah, right. Well, If you need somepony to talk to, I’m usually there before Noon. At any rate, I gotta be getting to work. Take care of yourself, eh?” He gave me a friendly smack on the shoulder before trotting off. His friendly demeanor had managed to get me to stop crying, though I still felt absolutely horrible.

<^><^><^><^>

I just sat there, at my desk, looking over the letters Swallow had sent me since she moved to Canterlot. Dinner had already been served and everypony else was asleep, so it was just my letters and insomnia to keep me company. Every time I would finish one letter, I’d move it to the bottom of the pile and then read the next one in line.

I knew I was being unhealthy about all of this. I knew I should have just been patient and waited. But I just couldn’t. Swallow meant far too much to me for that to be possible. Besides, reading the letters at that point was actually momentarily helpful. It made me feel like I was still getting letters, like she was still talking to me through these sheets of parchment.

I looked over to the clock on my wall. Three in the morning. Maybe it was time I went and got some sleep. I shifted slightly before remembering how every time I tried to get some much needed rest, I just ended up having scenarios in my mind that kept me from that goal. I lowered my gaze back to the letters and kept reading.

I must have been there for another hour or so before I finally decided to try and get some sleep. I knew it would probably be useless, but, I opted to try anyway. I flopped into bed under the blankets and closed my eyes. More mail would be delivered tomorrow. I’d check again then.

I then thought back to Shade’s words from earlier. I figured then that if I got no messages from Swallow in the morning, I’d go to him and just talk. Honestly, I hadn’t talked much in the last three weeks. I’d been so isolated in my room and consumed by other thoughts that I barely paid anypony any mind. Who knows, I thought. Maybe it’ll help.

The Final Farewell

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Author's Notes:

It is with some description of relief that I am announcing the cancellation of A Beautiful Swallow. Don’t take that the wrong way, though. This story is very important to me in many ways and I put an enormous amount of my heart and soul into writing it. But, well, at this point, canceling it is probably the best thing for me to do with it.

See, this story was started in an effort to get emotional stress out of my system. Some of you may have figured this out, but this story was based on real life events that happened to me. Stinging Nettle represents me, and Swallow represented someone I love deeply who, much to my regret, I will never get to see again.

I got an ending in my real life and have moved on as best as I can since then. But with this story still marked as on Hiatus, I still have one last little thread tying me to these events. It’s time to snip that thread and set myself free.

But because I know some of you may want closure, you’re in luck; I wrote the ending months in advance to help myself focus down on that target. There were about 10 or more planned chapters bridging the gap between ‘The Empty Mailbox’ and this ending, but they were never written and will probably never see the light of day.

To summarize events so you aren’t totally lost, Nettle got even more emotionally distraught over some 2 or 3 years, dealing with numerous issues, including what he perceived as a full-on betrayal that led him to attempt suicide. He survived said suicide attempt, and this epilogue follows up some two or three weeks later.

The ending, fyi, is the only one I have written and is the official ending to this story. I will not be writing any optional or alternate endings. This is better even then how it ended for me. Nettle might deserve a different ending, but we rarely ever get what we deserve.

That said, read on. I sincerely appreciate you joining me on this ‘journey.’

Thank you.

I opened my eyes rapidly, inhaling sharply as I looked around. I was in a blueish void, filled with slowly drifting orbs of white light. Where was I? I looked down to confirm that my hooves were on a solid surface, invisible though it may have been, before I started walking. Overhead, I saw a full moon slowly starting to fade into existence.

“Stinging Nettle.” I heard a slightly familiar voice say from my right. I turned my head to see, to my great surprise, Princess Luna looking at me with a soft expression. I quickly dropped into a bow. “There is no need for that here, Stinging Nettle. Stand tall and speak freely.” She said reassuringly.

I slowly brought myself back to a standing position. “Princess Luna? What is this place? Where are we?”

“This, Nettle, is the rift between dreams. I saw you suffering within a nightmare, and pulled you out to speak with you.” Princess Luna explained, slowly walking towards me. I thought back, trying to recall the nightmare in question. Nothing came to mind, but I still felt adrenaline in my veins, now that I was thinking about it.

“About what?” I asked curiously, looking around some more at the seemingly endless expanse.

“About Swallow.”

My eyes widened, and I felt a pang of pain shoot through my chest. My blood turned cold. Slowly, oh so slowly, I turned my head to look at the alicorn princess. “...What did you just say?”

“Stinging Nettle, it has come to my attention that you have been grieving and mourning for too long. I have observed your dreams from time to time, but never believed it to be this bad.” Luna said, immediately earning a narrowing of my eyes. I opened my mouth to yell at her, but the words wouldn’t come, and my frown grew as my eyes turned towards the void below me.

“Yes, I’m grieving. Yes, I’m mourning… I’m never going to see her again and it’s tearing me apart…” I sighed, closing my eyes to hold back the rush of tears I could feel coming forth.

“...What if you could see her again?” Luna asked carefully, and my eyes snapped open again, my ears shooting to attention. I looked back up at her. Was she saying what I thought she was saying?

“If I could see her again… I don’t know. It’s been so long…” I watched Luna carefully, hoping with all of my heart that this was going where I thought it was.

“I see… Stinging Nettle, I know how much you want to see her again. I can grant that wish, but-”

“PLEASE!” I half screamed, galloping towards her and collapsing at her hooves. I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes. Tears of joy. I was so busy crying at Luna’s hooves, silently begging her to grant my only wish that I didn’t see the sad look coming over her face until she spoke again.

“But… I have a few words of warning for you.” She said, and I looked back up into Luna’s eyes. She was looking at me with an unreadable, sorrowful expression.

“Words of warning?”

“Yes. Stinging Nettle, there is no easy way for you to hear this… but Twinkling Swallow is dying.” Luna said, falling silent to let the words sink in. Shock overwrote all other feelings, causing me to stand up and back away.

“...What?”

“Yes. During the changeling attack on Canterlot, Swallow was grievously wounded and paralyzed. She barely survived. Since then, she has been in a sleep-like coma. She’s been dreaming the entire time, Stinging Nettle.” Luna explained, lowering herself slightly to be at eye-level with me. “And further… her family has decided to pull the plug on her life support.”

I went numb hearing those words. I stood, motionless and silent, barely even breathing. My ears slowly went limp, falling flat against the sides of my head.

“I can open the door to her dreams for you… you can be with her until the plug is pulled. But I warn you now, this will be the last time you get to speak with her… and when her life support stops, it is very likely that she will fade with her dream, right in front of your eyes. I want to make sure you are emotionally prepared to see such a thing before I open the door.” Luna said, then falling silent to allow me to think. The silence was short, as there wasn’t any thinking I had to do.

“Princess Luna… I don’t care how painful this will be… if she’s going to die, I want to be there until the very end. I want to make her last moments comfortable. I don’t want her to be alone. As long as I get to see her again and say goodbye properly… then any pain will be worth it.” I said, looking up at Luna with determination in my eyes. Honestly, though… I was absolutely terrified.

“Are you sure?”

“Open the door.” I said firmly, taking a step forwards.

Luna nodded sadly. “As you wish…” She closed her eyes and her horn lit up. A door appeared next to her, white in color with a blue frame. I took a moment to look at the symbol on the doors upper half; A single, solitary feather. I steeled myself and took those first steps forward…

<^><^><^><^>

A sense of familiarity came over me as I entered Swallow’s dream. It was a moonlit forest clearing, surrounded by tall trees with a grassy floor covered in flowers. I knew this place. I dreamed about it once, a long time ago. I looked around as a cool breeze blew by, causing my mane and tail to drift lazily.

It didn’t take me long to see what I was looking for. I saw her on the other end of the clearing, facing away from me and looking up at the moon. She was… taller than I remembered. Of course, that was only natural. It had been years since we had last seen each other.

I was dumbfounded, unable to make myself move or speak. I was just gawking at her, helplessly staring at the back of the Pony I loved most. Finally, I managed to get enough control to start walking towards her. I moved quietly, my movement’s sound partially smothered by the breeze and rustling of the branches and flowers.

As I drew closer, I heard something. It was a voice I had never heard before, a mature, sad sounding stallion. He was speaking slowly, sadly, as though on the verge of crying. But there was nopony in front of Swallow. I was mildly confused until I looked to where she was looking with so much attention. In the surface of the moon, I could see a tilted image of a stallion I had never met, but who I instantly knew was Swallow’s father. He was reading something off from a sheet of parchment. The background of the vision seemed to be a canterlot hospital room.

“...Signed, Stinging Nettle... “ I heard Swallow’s Father say, and my heart leapt into my throat. “He really misses you… I don’t know if I’ll be able to tell him what’s going to happen tomorrow…” He lowered the note, and his eyes looked towards Swallow and I sadly. He… he’d been reading my letters to Swallow all along?

I heard a choked sob coming from Swallow, and looked towards her. Her head was bowed down, now, and she was starting to lay down in the flowers, covering her face with her forehooves. She was crying…

“I’m so sorry, Nettle… I… I never wanted this to happen… Please… dad… tell him! T-tell him everything so he can move on! I want him to be happy... He shouldn’t have to dwell on a pony like me...”

I looked at Swallow disbelievingly. She was so sad and guilty because she had never been able to respond to my messages. She was trembling horribly now, crying and sobbing quietly, though I could tell a lot of her heart was going into it. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. So I did what came naturally. I slowly walked up to her crying form, keeping myself quiet until I was right next to her. I then settled down next to her, wrapping my foreleg over her shoulders in a comforting way.

She went stiff, and her sobs cut off instantly. Her ears, formerly flat against her head, stood straight up. I smiled and rubbed soothing circles into her shoulder. “Swallow… if anypony is worth waiting for… it’s you.”

I felt her go even more rigid at the sound of my voice. She curled up slightly, a shiver hitting her body as another cold breeze blew by. “No... please, I don’t want to dream about him.” She whispered, and my ears fell flat.

“Because you want to tell me everything face-to-face, right?” I said quietly, tightening my grip slightly. She said nothing, slowly lifting her head to look at me. The sadness in her eyes was immense. “Well, I’m not a figment of your imagination… nor am I generated by your dream. I’m here. I’m real.”

Her eyes widened, and she wiped a hoof across her eyes to get rid of the tears. “How do I know that for sure?” She asked quietly.

“...Luna allowed me into your dream. So I could see you one last time.” I explained shortly. I don’t know what it was, but I guess she saw something that her dreams couldn’t replicate, because she began to tear up again as a smile crossed her face. She knew I was the real deal.

“Nettle… Stinging Nettle... “ She whispered, reaching a hoof out to cup my cheek. In response, all I did was hug her closer. “I… I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t say it.” I interrupted her gently. “Don’t say you’re sorry. You have nothing to apologize for. Everything that’s happened has been beyond your control.”

She looked at me, stunned. Then she laughed, albeit very weakly. “Well, I guess that means it’s really you, then… Every time my dreams create a version of you in here, you’re usually… very harsh about it.” She said, looking down slightly.

The hoof I was hugging her with moved to start petting her mane. “It’s alright, Swallow. You don’t have to explain anything. I know enough.”

She closed her eyes and hummed quietly as I set about petting her head. After a few minutes, she opened her eyes and looked to me again. “You know, then, that I’m… I’m going to-”

“I know. Let’s not worry about that right now, okay? We’ll deal with that when it comes…” Despite my words, it was clear that I was afraid. I was worrying about it a lot.

“Okay…” Swallow said softly, nudging herself closer to me so we could share some body heat in the chilly night. Her horn lit up a moment later. Before i knew what was happening, we were on top of a very familiar park bench with a very familiar, fantastically fuzzy and warm-looking blanket draped over us. I looked down and over at Swallow. I guess it made sense what just happened. This was her dream, after all.

Oh, how much that little action of hers made me want to remind her how much I loved her. But… I just couldn’t say it. I don’t know why, but the words just caught in my throat, so I opted instead to remain silent. We just sat there, bathing in our memories for a while. Occasionally, Swallow or I would shift slightly to get more comfortable.

The moon never moved, and all light seemed to be focusing on us. That, combined with feeling Swallow against me, her breathing, hearing her voice earlier and her occasional content sigh now... for the first time in a long time, I felt at peace. I was happy. I had honestly and truly forgotten what this sort of happiness felt like. I had been periodically happy prior, but I never felt whole or complete. It was a hollow happiness back then. This was true, pure and complete happiness.

“Hey, Nettle?” Swallow asked after another long while of us just sitting there.

“Yeah?”

“...Do you still… love me?” She asked hesitantly. I winced at the question, but nodded.

“Of course. I’ve never loved anypony as much as you.” I said, nuzzling into her cheek. I found myself mentally pleading for her to tell me she loved me too, or, better yet, to just lean over and kiss me.

Naturally, she didn’t do either. “I bet right now you’d really like to kiss me.” She said with mild amusement in her voice. Oh, great. Was she gonna start teasing me?

“You reading my mind or something?” I chuckled, squeezing her gently with my foreleg.

“No. I just know you a little too well.” Swallow said, smirking over at me.

“I guess.” I grumbled with fake irritation before smiling at her. She smiled and looked down.

“Nettle... I don’t know what to say... You love me so much you entered my dreams themselves to say goodbye.”

I felt my heart break a little when she said that. “Swallow... I came here not just to say goodbye, or to remind you that I love you… I came here to make sure you are as happy as I can possibly make you. Right now, I don’t care how I’m feeling when all this is over.”

“But I do care, Nettle.” Swallow said earnestly, looking at me with eyes that were starting to water slightly. “I don’t want you to cry anymore over me... I don’t want you to feel anymore heartache or sadness, I don’t want you to be alone or lonely. I want you to go out there and find somepony else, find a new reason to be happy- MM?!”

I cut her off. Not with words, or by putting my hoof to her mouth or anything. I kissed her on the lips, gently but quickly to get her to stop talking. She was causing herself more emotional pain by stressing over my wellbeing. That was not why I was here.

She froze, looking at me with wide eyes. I didn’t see said eyes at first, because my eyes were closed, just savoring the contact. I pulled away after a few seconds, not wanting to overstay my welcome and looked her in the eyes.

“Swallow, I’m here in your dream for your sake. Not mine… but since you insisted on me finding a reason to be happy, that kiss should be sufficient for the time being.” I whispered, smirking at her a moment later. She lifted a hoof up to touch her lips, which were now parted slightly as her jaw had fallen somewhat loose. “If you wanna hit me for that, go ahead.”

She did, though not hard. She simply smacked me on the back of my head with her hoof before looking straight ahead. I rubbed the spot where she hit with my free hoof before a light giggle escaped my lips. It must have been contagious, because soon enough Swallow and I were both giggling. The giggles evolved rather quickly, and for a few minutes we were laughing like we were being tickled to death.

I don’t know why we were laughing so much. In hindsight, it wasn’t funny enough to warrant such a response, but I’m not complaining. When we finally stopped laughing, Swallow looked over at me and wiped a tear of joy from her eye.

“I haven’t laughed like that in a long while… Thanks, Nettle.” She said, a few residual chortles escaping her.

“You’re welcome.” I said, taking in a deep breath to prevent myself from laughing again. The silence from earlier resumed, and we once again found ourselves content to simply sit next to each other. Time began to pass, and occasionally we would make small talk, or she would ask me about some detail about my life outside the dream.

Finally, after what felt like several hours, I heard something overhead. Looking up, I saw the moon showing images to us again. We saw the hospital room, and the doctor and who I assumed to be Swallow’s family stepping in. It was time, then. A feeling of dread and sadness began to wash over me, but for once in my life I decided to say ‘no’ and kicked my emotions to the curb. I would not let Swallow’s last moments be seeing me cry. And, in turn, I would not let her final moments be spent crying.

Swallow was looking up at the image, too. She was scared, afraid. She knew what was going to happen, and it terrified her. I could see it in her eyes, feel it in her slowly stiffening muscles.

Her family was saying quiet things to her overhead, each one sorrowful and crying. I looked over to Swallow. She was starting to cry too.

“Swallow, look at me.” I said firmly, reaching out with my free hoof to draw her eyes towards me. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

She looked at me with rapidly growing sorrow in her eyes. She was going to cry any second. Damnit! I had to keep that from happening!

“Swallow, please. Do not cry. You’re okay. It’s going to be fine.” I said gently, squeezing her tightly against me. Truth be told, it was taking all of the willpower in my body to keep myself from bursting into tears, and more to keep my face from contorting.

“Nettle... I can’t say goodbye to them.”

“I’ll tell them for you. Don’t think about that, okay? Think about something happy; create something happy. This is your dream. Your world. You can do anything here. Do something to make yourself happy-”

Swallow lunged at me, planting her lips against mine, and damn near throwing us off the bench. I reacted purely on instinct, wrapping my forelegs around her in a tight hug and returned the kiss. I didn’t expect this, and I didn’t care. Swallow was kissing me of her own will. I had no idea why, but for the time being I decided not to worry about that and just focus on the kiss itself.

We sat there for quite some time, just kissing each other gently. Overhead, I heard the sound of something being unplugged. The temperature around us dropped almost instantly, sending a shiver through me. I didn’t pay any attention to that though. The light around us was starting to fade, darkness slowly creeping in. Swallow pulled away from the kiss, out of breath and gasping for air.

“There… now we’re even.” She said, barely able to get enough air to speak. I could see wispy trails starting to drift from her body. She was fading.

“Even?” I asked hesitantly, doing everything in my power to keep my face in a smile, despite the rapidly growing need to scream.

“You kissed me to make yourself happy... Even though I wasn’t expecting or really wanting to be kissed… so… I… kissed you… to…” Her voice trailed off, growing quiet as she was barely able to speak or breathe. She reached a hoof up to her chest, before starting to fall off the bench.

“Swallow!” I cried, shooting after her and wrapping my forelegs under her to stop her fall. I got off the bench, which at this point was disappearing into the darkness around us. Gently, oh so gently, I cradled Swallow’s dying form as close as I could, trying to keep her warm.

“Nettle… let me see… your face…” Swallow said, her voice barely audible. I reluctantly pulled away enough so she could look at me in the eyes. She looked tired… exhausted, even. Her eyes were half shut and had dark spots under them.

“It’s okay, Swallow… I… I’m here for you.” I said, trying to maintain my smile. I wasn’t going to be able to keep this up much longer.

“Nettle... Th… ank… y… ou…” She breathed, reaching a hoof out towards my face. I felt it connect, gently tracing my jawline. Then, her hoof passed right through me. She was becoming transparent, her legs starting to swirl away into mist. Her eyes were still clear, looking at me with a sort of sad happiness. Her smile reflected this.

She was happy. Or at least as happy as I could make her. I nodded at her words, smiling. “You’re welcome, but… I should be thanking you, Swallow… for allowing me to fall in love.” I whispered, noticing that she was starting to sink past my hooves.

The swirling of her vanishing body continued spreading. First, her legs and tail were gone, then her belly, her chest, her neck... I took a moment to memorize every single detail I could of her face. Her eyes were closed, and she was smiling... And in the end, that was all that mattered. Finally, seemingly in slow motion, her face vanished, disappearing and swirling away into nothingness. And that was it. It was over.

Swallow was gone.

<^><^><^><^>

I woke up that morning feeling tired, cold, and infinitely lonely. I woke up almost as soon as Swallow disappeared in the dream. The sun had just barely come up. Slowly, I got out of bed and sat down at my desk. I just sat there for a moment, staring out the window at the town I had called home for so long. Finally, I reached down into my desk and withdrew a quill and a stack of parchment.

And that is where I am as I write this. I just had that dream with Swallow, and I still feel sleepy. I won’t lie, I’m sad; more sad then I’ve been in a long time. But at the same time, I am happy and damn proud of myself. I got to see Swallow again. I got to be there for her in her final moments and do everything I could to keep her happy to the very end.

Frankly, I don’t know what I’m going to do with this manuscript, now. I’ve been writing it for years. It’s been a literal labor of love, but now the focus of that love is gone. I could try to get it published, but I don’t see a reason to do so. There isn’t really much of a message carried with this story; at least, not one I can see. It’s just… my story.

I could keep it tucked away, show it to friends and family, but that might cause more emotional hiccups down the line… No, I think I know what I’m going to do with this book.

I started writing it to help me get raw emotion out of my system and help myself keep my feelings in check. Now that I’m done… I see no purpose in keeping it around. I think I’ll take the manuscript to ghastly gorge. I’ll let the pages fly away, drifting in the wind and flying wherever they so want…

Just like a beautiful swallow taking flight.

—The End—