A collection of short stories. Some are based off of Thirty Minute Ponies prompts and are written in approximately thirty minutes, but others are just random short stories that I didn't think merited their own post. Tags are in parentheses, and if a prompt was used, then it will be included at the beginning of its story. Characters and tags will be added to the story as they are used.
Rarity wasn't sure what had overcome her, what precisely had caused her to do what she just did. But what she did know was that she was sitting on the floor of her boutique, staring at a pile of broken glass from a mirror that she had just shattered, and feeling the sting of the small cuts running up and down her hind legs.
Although...
Perhaps it wasn't entirely fair to say she didn't know why she broke the mirror.
+ + +
Twilight Sparkle sighed in exasperation. She was beginning to get tired of the constant advances of a certain white and purple pony. While she appreciated Rarity's rather obvious feelings towards her, she also felt that she communicated quite clearly that she was not interested. She saw Rarity as a friend, nothing more.
Unfortunately, it seemed the fashionista wasn't likely to take "no" for an answer.
Twilight looked down at the bouquet of lilacs. She loved lilacs. The color, the scent--they were lovely flowers. But she wasn't so sure about these ones. She wasn't sure she liked what they meant, and of course that is the most important part of any bouquet of flowers. This was the sixth such bouquet, supposedly sent from an "anonymous admirer" in Ponyville. However, while Twilight may have been a pariah for a good long while, she could put two and two together, and her summing skills were giving her the answer of one head-over-hooves pony.
And that pony was, for better or for worse, Rarity.
+ + +
Rarity gazed forlornly at the glass for a time longer, but finally managed to force herself off the floor and over to the bathroom. She got out her bandages and began covering all the nicks from the glass.
+ + +
Two weeks since the last bouquet. Perhaps she had given up..?
Somehow, Twilight didn't think so.
+ + +
"What is it?" Rarity muttered to herself, flopping down on her bed and wincing at the pressure just a bit. "What's so wrong with me? Am I not... Not good enough?"
Things seemed bleak.
+ + +
Twilight knew that she had to confront Rarity soon. She just didn't have it in her to keep up the facade of ignorance, and she knew it would not be good for their relationship.
But would a confrontation really solve the issue? Or would it just exacerbate the situation? Could Twilight really lose her friend out of this whole mess?
Things seemed bleak.
+ + +
"Per...perhaps she really does just see me as a friend. Oh, but if only to know the mind of the focus of my infatuation!"
Rarity, having sat up, collapsed back onto her bed.
+ + +
This was it. Twilight stood in front of Carousel Boutique. She was going to confront Rarity about her feelings, and they were going to come out of it friends.
Yes.
This could not possibly go wrong.
+ + +
"I suppose--Oh, don't give me that look, Opalescence--I suppose I may have overreacted to Twilight's... Appearance... After all, she was just trying to be a good friend, and I can't really force her to return my feelings, that wouldn't be right at all..."
+ + +
She knocked on the door.
"Coming!~" Rarity sang from inside the boutique.
The door swung open.
"Oh! Twilight!" Rarity cried. "How can I help you, dear? Please, come in, come in."
+ + +
"I... I need to go talk to her, don't I, Opal?" Rarity looked at her pet.
Opalescence stared back with her usual bored expression.
+ + +
"Well, you see, Rarity..." Twilight said. "I... I've noticed... Something strange. And I thought I should talk to you about it."
"Well, what is it, darling?"
"I... It's... It's you, Rarity."
+ + +
"Yes! I simply cannot allow our friendship to die over how I feel, and how I have acted. Twilight was in the right to come to me, and I did not treat her well at all. Opal, sweetie, I'm going out."
+ + +
"Me? Whatever do you mean?"
"How... How you feel about me. I've noticed. The flowers, and the way you act around me... Am I right? Do you have... Feelings for me?"
+ + +
Rarity, in a reversal of Twilight's actions of not long ago, knocked on the door of the library.
+ + +
"I... I... Yes. Yes, I do."
"That's... What I thought. I'm sorry, Rarity, but I'm afraid I can't return those feelings. I just... I see you as a friend, and a good one, and I'm sorry, but I don't know that I could love you back."
"I... See."
Rarity looked up at Twilight, who stood in the doorway of the boutique. A tear fell from her eye. Suddenly, she blinked, and her expression grew angered.
"Then... Then what are you still doing here?! Go! Leave! At least give me the dignity of sorrow in peace!"
"I--Rarity-"
"No! Twilight, I will not hear of it. Please leave my boutique at once."
"...Okay."
Twilight turned, and was gone.
+ + +
The door of the library opened.
+ + +
Rarity screamed, and kicked out at a nearby mirror stand with her hind legs, shattering it.
"Oh, don't... I'm... I'm sorry, Pinkie. That was harsh of me. But there's no need to be bouncing all over the place at this hour!"
"Well of course there is, Twilight! How else are we gonna get out of here, huh? I gotta find the way out!"
"What do you mean, the way out? The door's right over there!"
"No it's not! It's a fake! You mean you didn't notice? Something fishy is going on here, Twilight, and I'm gonna find out what!"
"...huh. How didn't I notice that?"
"You can be forgiven, Twilight. This prank has obviously been played by a master prankster! We're talking me-level here! Come on, get out of bed and help me search!"
"All right, all right."
...
...
"Twilight, why are you sitting down?! We can't stop searching!"
"Pinkie, it's been two hours. I don't think there is a way out."
"Sure there is, silly! Nopony would put us in an exact replica of my room only with a fake door and window only to not leave a cleverly disguised escape route! It's against the rules of Pranking 101!"
"Well, you can keep searching then. I'm tired again."
"But you were just asleep!"
...
"Wow, Twilight, you really were tired."
...
...
"Do ya think we should let them out?"
"No, not yet. It will happen, darling. Just give them time."
"If you say so."
...
...
"Good morning, Twilight! Or maybe afternoon. Or hay, maybe evening! I really don't know at this point! This secret exit must be really well disguised, because I just can't find it!"
"Ughh, Pinkie. You're still looking for that thing? Just come lie down with me, you must've covered every inch of this room by now."
"Every centimeter, actually!"
"...you know that, but you don't know the time?"
"Nope!"
"...of course."
...
...
"Where did ya say they were again?"
"Oh, who, Twilight and Pinkie? They're... Why, they're... They're...on...vacation, dear! Yes, a short vacation! Twilight wanted to take Pinkie to meet her parents in Canterlot. And they left. This morning. Without telling anypony."
"...sure."
...
...
"...and just what do ya mean by that, sugar?"
"They put who where?!"
"Those girls... I knew that story sounded fishier'n a can of anchovies!"
...
...
"Pinkie Pie, what are you doing now?"
"Meditating! If I can't find the way out, then I'll make one instead!"
"...what?"
"You know, Twilight! Mystical Earth Pony powers! Inner calm! All that neat stuff!"
"Yes, I know all about the concept of meditation, but normally ponies don't meditate while... Oh, just forget it."
"You know what I wanna know, Twilight? How you can just sit there and sleep all day! We've got a crisis on our hands!"
"It sure is a mystery."
...
...
"Not at Pinkie's... Not in Twi's basement... Not anywhere around Rarity's boutique... Where could they have put 'em? Think, Applejack, think!"
...
...
"Hi-ya!"
...
"Owwwweeeeeeee!"
"Pinkie, you just slammed your head as hard as you could into the wall. What did you expect?"
"But I meditated! Why didn't I get kung-fu-pony powers?"
"Pinkie, the martial arts aren't just about...meditating. Ponies need years of study to accomplish what you're attempting, and even then I doubt they'd go about it so... Er... Yeah."
"I guess you're right, Twilight. And now my noggin is all achy. And I'm tired. It's been a long day!"
"Yes it has. Finally ready to come over here and snuggle?"
"Am I ever!"
...
...
"Ah-ha! There you--huh?"
"Oh! H-hey, Applejack! What-whatcha doin'?"
"Rainbow Dash, what are you doin' down here?"
"N-nothin'. Just hangin' out. Totally."
"And you, Rarity?"
"Why... The same, of course!"
"Then why d'you have a massive mirror on your wall showin' Twilight and Pinkie in bed gettin' comfortable?"
"Why... We... We were just..."
"Inspecting!"
"...inspecting."
"Y-yeah! We were just making sure that their relationship is... Y'know, healthy!"
"Rainbow Dash, even I cannot get behind that statement."
"Heh-hehheh..."
"Get 'em out of there. How long have you two been watchin' 'em, anyways?"
"Oh, jeez, like all day! Rarity said they'd be smooching in no time, but--"
"Rainbow Dash!"
"You did! And it's taken them all day! This room is tiny, and these chairs are nowhere near comfortable for a good nap. So. Boring."
"Well, I'm willing to relieve you of duty. Open the door."
"Heh... Funny thing about that..."
"Yes?"
"We sorta... Didn't build a door..."
"...what."
"I took a class or two in basic teleportation from Twilight a few weeks ago. She was quite proud of my progress! But I'm afraid I won't be able to cast any magic for a few more hours. It was quite taxing moving both of them."
...
"They really are cute kissin' and stuff like that, aren't they?"
"I think we have an extra chair around here somewhere, AJ."
“Ship exactly five of the mane six together in a single relationship.”
Today was the day!
Pinkie Pie squealed with glee in her mind. Then she squealed with glee aloud.
Nopony heard her, of course--she was sitting alone in bed, and the sun was just coming up. But she squealed nonetheless! Because today was the day, and that meant great things for her, and more importantly, all her friends!
+ + +
Hopping down the stairs to breakfast, Pinkie began plotting her route in her mind. First to Sweet Apple Acres, since Applejack would probably be the only one up quite this early... Then to Fluttershy's cottage--Fluttershy she always has to wake up to take care of her critters... Over to Carousel Boutique after that, though maybe they would need to stay at Fluttershy's for a while, Rarity doesn't like to be woken up before eight... And then they would definitely need to stay a while at Rarity's because whenever Rainbow Dash woke up, it wouldn't be soon, even on a day so wonderfully fantastically amazing as today!
Pinkie hummed happily, walking into the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner. She grabbed the bag of oatmeal, and clanged around in the cupboard for the kettle, filling the latter with hot water from the tap. She set it to boil on the stovetop, and soon enough the cheery whistle of boiling water filled the room. She finished up her oatmeal, having added what most ponies would consider to be entirely too much sugar (among other things), and sat down at the table to eat.
+ + +
As it turned out, they didn't have to wait for Rainbow Dash as long as Pinkie Pie had originally thought. Granted, she, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Angel got to Rarity's boutique just as she was waking up, and then they may have stayed for early morning tea, and possibly spoken excitedly about what they were doing that day for quite a long time...
But even then. They left Rarity's around ten, feeling optimistic, and sure enough their temperaments were rewarded. Upon entering the clearing Rainbow's house hung above, a blue blur sped towards them--and, as they were all standing in a convenient line--bowled them all over.
"Omigosh you guys!" Rainbow cried, picking herself up from the ground she had also found herself lying upon after that particular stunt. "Today's the day!"
Applejack, who was grumbling on the ground, the closest of the four to Rainbow, fixed Dash with a glare.
"Y' don't say."
+ + +
Cleaned up, brushed off, apologized to, and once again ready to face the occasion, the five friends headed towards Twilight's library. There was a good reason Pinkie Pie had not planned for picking up Twilight on her way to all her friend's houses, and that reason was not just that Twilight could enjoy sleeping in almost as late as Rainbow Dash some days. But only some.
No, the reason was much more complicated than that. Or not, depending on how you looked at it. The reason Twilight was not presently among the five's number was that Twilight was the focus of the big day! Pinkie found herself grinning even wider than usual as she thought about it. Yes, Twilight was the reason for all this to-do--Twilight, and the question the five had for her.
+ + +
"Who would like to do the honors?" Rarity said, sweeping her hoof towards, and then away from, the door in front of the five.
Twilight's door.
"Ooh! Ooh! Me!" Pinkie cried, racing up to it.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Pinkie pounded the door with her usual enthusiasm, and then some, and then some.
Silence.
Well, not silence. A sound came through the door. Muffled, yes, and faint, sure, but a sound. The sound of--panic? Of... Somepony moving quite fast... The clop of hooves on the hard wooden floors of the library... A very faint rustling... And then a creak. The last one wasn't nearly as quiet as the rest; the creak was the sound of the door in front of the five opening.
A just-so-slightly-frazzled purple Alicorn stood in front of the group.
"Hi!" Pinkie said.
"Oh! Hi, girls!" Twilight said, her expression perking up a bit. Something was just a bit off, though. Like she was happy to see them, but also hoping she could get rid of them? Pinkie wasn't sure. Maybe it was something in her eyes.
"What brings you all here, and so early? And is that Rainbow Dash I see! Rainbow, do you know what time it is?" Twilight said, peering around to the back of the group.
Rainbow lept into the air. "Sure do! But today's an awesome day, so somepony as awesome as me's gotta be here for it! Even if I do miss out on good sleep time."
"Today? What's so special about today?" Twilight said, her face twisting in confusion.
Suddenly, everypony seemed very quiet.
Four ponies parted, allowing Rarity to the front of the pack. It just seemed that she was the one that--
"We're asking you out!" Pinkie cried.
Everypony looked at her.
"What? It's not hard to ask."
"I... What? What do you mean?" Twilight said, becoming only more confused.
Rarity gathered herself, and opened her mouth to speak. Pinkie Pie looked like she was just about ready to jump in again, and Rarity glared at her. Turning back to Twilight, Rarity said, "Well, what Pinkie means, is... Well, first of all. We have... Something to confess." Everypony (save Twilight) nodded. "Over the past few weeks and months, we five have become rather... close. Better than friends, you might say.
Twilight's eyes began to light in surprise.
"It has been a slow thing, of course, and we didn't all get together at once... But we would like to believe, at least at this point, that the relationship we've built is here to stay. And we have also all agreed that we want you to join us--if you will," Rarity concluded.
Silence once again--but brief this time.
(<<-->>)
Twilight nodded slowly...and then began to grin.
"Oh, girls--I'd love to!"
The five's faces began to follow the trend of Twilight's, their smiles beaming.
"...But I can't. I'm sorry."
Crash.
"What?! Why not?" Pinkie cried, dumbfounded.
"Yeah? What's up? Scared you'll lose all your egghead time to us or somethin'?" Rainbow Dash said.
"No, no, nothing, like that... It's just, I already have a special somepony!"
"WHAT?" The five cried in unison.
Twilight blushed. "We've been together for a while now--about as long as you five, it seems. Though we've known each other for much longer than that."
"Well? Who is it?" Applejack said.
Twilight turned back to the library.
"Celestia! You can come out!"
Jaws dropped to the floor as the Princess of the Sun walked out of Twilight's coat closet, nuzzling her.
Twilight nuzzled back.
"I-"
"Wha-"
"Oh-"
"Now-"
"That is so cute!" Pinkie Pie said, her voice reaching an almost-uncomfortable pitch.
I see nothing. The darkness around me is complete.
I hear nothing. Not even the faint drumbeat of my heart.
I smell nothing. Not even the smell of emptiness.
I taste nothing. Not even the never-ending monotony of saliva.
I feel...
Cold. A coolness, and a dampness. Like a breath on my neck. But the breath is not from any living thing. No, it is a dead breath. It freezes me; it warns me. The breath is colder, the bite of ice.
The snow I have landed in crunches faintly beneath me. It is powdery and light, and it is truly lovely.
I see now. A forest surrounds me, blanketed in the snowfall.
I hear now. Not much, but the faint rustle of plants and leaves and life.
I smell now. Not much, but the faint wisp of pine.
I taste now. Not much, but the faint bitterness of dirt, from the snow.
I feel...
Pain. Something has lunged at me, from beneath the darkness of the brush beyond where I sit. A wolf. It crosses the distance between us in no time, sinking its teeth into the leg I bring up to defend myself. Its fangs are sharp, tearing into me like daggers.
I wield the two daggers before me, attempting to appear threatening.
I see little. The light in the room is faint, but I can just make out a form in front of me.
I hear less. The oblique clink of hooves against stone.
I smell less. The mild musk of sweat.
I taste less. The metal of blood.
I feel...
Anger. Whoever is in front of me has done me wrong. I cry out, and run at them, daggers held before me. I catch a glimpse of their coat--deep purple. Unfamiliar. I swipe with my daggers, magic more competent than the knife they too hold--but in their mouth. Too bad for them. I stab, and I kill. I feel a rush of adrenaline, as the thought occurs to me that the assassin--it was an assassin, I realize--may not be alone.
The adrenaline is quickly joined by a cold sweat as I stare at the mare in front of me, wondering what the next sound to echo through the room would be.
I see more. A lovely green, and a deeper blue. A flash of pink, somewhere.
I hear something. An uncomfortable silence, broken only by a brief movement, here, there.
I smell something. Fear?
I taste something. A flower, past my lips but minutes before.
I feel...
Terror. I have asked a damning question. I have made a decision that cannot be undone, and I have thrown myself off of the intelligible side of life and landed amidst the uncertainty of waiting. Waiting for the answer to the same question that has ruined so many before me. The mare's mouth opens. My eyes widen unconsciously. I pull my breath in. A tight feeling has taken over my chest. Air is precious, but only for a moment.
Or for much longer. I am drowning. The water around me is strangely warm. I flounder, panicking.
I see, not what I need to. No rescue comes.
I hear, that what will ruin me. Bubbles race past my head.
I smell, only the smell of water--if such a thing can even be described. My nose is treacherous.
I taste, the foul salt of the ocean. I have run out of air, now. I inhale only water.
I feel...
Acceptance. My time has come. It will end like this. Curious, that I would go through so much to be ended in such an insignificant way. A simple accident. An... Accident...
I awake.
I see, what I always see. The lush blankets of my bed.
I hear, what I always hear. The muffled rush of wind, and maybe the creak of the tower.
I smell, what I always smell. My own scent, strong on my sheets.
I taste, what I always taste. The comfort of a meal a few hours past, a fine meal.
I feel...
Grateful. Grateful that the memories of all the years of the past are nothing more than memories. But... Maybe not. Maybe there are some memories I wish I could have back. Times I wish to relive. But not those. Not those that haunt my dreams, not tonight.
I wonder if the sickness of my nights is a punishment for what I was forced to do. That is a memory I certainly wish to leave in the past. The memory of a wrong, corrected by a wrong. The result of a mistake. I wonder if the spectres of my dreams are not the judgement of the universe, conspiring against me. But no matter.
Dawn will come soon enough. My chance at redemption, and hers as well, will soon be upon us.
He felt his way through his limbs. Nothing seemed broken outright, though his back right leg was twitching with a relatively biting pain... Maybe a sprain? He'd have to try walking on it.
Gathering his forelegs under him, Elixir stood up slowly, being careful about putting weight on his leg. Once fully upright and still lacking any major aches and pains, he declared the joint fit for use.
For the first time, Elixir glanced around. He couldn't see much, as the broken sewer grate he had fallen through was a good fifteen feet above his head and it was sunset anyway. However, he was able to make out enough to tell that he had a decision to make.
He could go forward, or he could go backward.
Of course it was also possible that he could sit around at the bottom of the sewer, hoping a pegasus would come along, but the street he had been walking on the side of had been abandoned, and night was fast approaching.
Forward it was. At least he'd still be going in the same direction. Probably.
Elixir started off.
At least an hour or so later, he wasn't feeling too good about his chances of getting out of the sewer any time soon. About a hundred feet from his point of landing, the sewer tunnel had begun to slope downwards. It had continued to do so, and had not yet stopped. He thought that maybe he should've turned around, but it was too late now.
He needed to find somewhere to stay, and fast. The sewers weren't safe, Elixir knew.
Continuing to trudge on the grime-slick stone next to a rather unfortunately smelling river of pony waste mixed with (again by the smell) aciret, Elixir suddenly came to a door.
And not a door that fit in, either.
It was an old door, and a wooden door. A wooden door! It was covered in an unidentifiable green substance, but not one that smelled nearly as bad as everything else. It was actually kind of... fresh. Fresh, in a nice way.
Elixir knocked on the door.
Silence. He looked more closely at it.
...words? Yes, words, inscribed on the door, but eaten nearly away by time. He could pick out a letter here or and there, but even then he really was only guessing that they were letters at all, as he could hardly recognize them--
"Ana aksa trifet del. Arae ashta aciret devern."
What? How did I-- Elixir's thoughts were interrupted by the door swinging open.
A bluish-teal mare stared back at him.
"I-- What-- How--" he stammered.
Elixir was never given the chance to formulate an actually coherent sentence, as the mare before him lashed out a hoof, knocking him out cold.
+ + +
Ohhh...
Elixir rubbed his head. He needed to stop winding up in pain on the floor, he felt. Far too unpleasant to become a regular activity.
He sat up, still rubbing the side of his head where he had been hit. Looking around, he was struck by a sense of déjà vu.
I really need to stop finding myself in pain on the floor.
"So. One of my own has finally come back to me," a voice said from behind him.
He twisted around as fast and as well as he could sitting on the floor, and the spin made his head ache even more. He looked into the darkness.
"Do you know, Elixir, why the world is the way it is?"
"I-- Um-- ... Okay, what?" he said, managing to stand.
"You heard me," the voice said, as a massive white figure stepped into the light. Elixir glanced around suddenly again, struck by a sudden confusion as to where exactly the light in the room was coming from. As best he could tell, the answer was nowhere.
"Many things come from nowhere," the white pony said--but was she a pony? She was so much bigger than Elixir...
"I have always enjoyed the title of pony, technical inaccuracies aside," the white...pony said. "Now I ask you one last time, Elixir--why is the world the way it is?"
"I... I don't know," he said simply. "And what do you mean? That's a very broad question."
"The answer I'm looking for is the answer to the question of why you were surprised by my door. Why you didn't know what the moss covering it was. And why you could read the words upon it."
"...oh," Elixir said.
"I am going to tell you," the white pony said. "And please, call me Celestia."
Celestia...
"That means something to you. Good."
"Now, Elixir. There is a very easy way to summarize the answer to the question I've posed you, so I'll take it. We need to get you home.
"A long, very, very long time ago, I made three mistakes. The first of which was entrusting your sovereign with the knowledge of black magic."
(<<-->>)
...Sovereign?
"You know her name. I needn't utter it here.
"Now, the next mistake was giving that same mare, who I considered incorruptible, power equal to mine. And to be frank, it still wouldn't have become the problem it is, had I not been so foolish as to make my last mistake.
"When your sovereign began to take an interest in the corporation, that was when I made my final mistake. I thought that I was helping a student. I was investing Equestrian bits, sure, but I could trust...that mare. Surely.
"I was wrong, Elixir. It was too much, too fast. I gave her too much power. I corrupted her. And then I gave her the keys to the kingdom..." Celestia trailed off.
"That is the answer to the question. The answer to why aciret flows in the rivers instead of water. The reason why you know nothing of a plant, and have never seen the sky."
She heard a muffled groan from behind the door. Celestia couldn't blame her sister; it was, after all, sundown, and she was just waking up. But Celestia had a plan, and it was a plan that needed Luna awake.
"Come, sister, I wanted to play a game with you!"
Thump. Thunk. Celestia coughed over a giggle. After another minute or so, the door to Luna's room swung open with its customary creak.
"...Yes, sister?" Luna said, looking more than a tad grumbly at being woken unnaturally.
"I was hoping that we could spend a little time together before I take my leave for the night. I was reminded of a delightful little game of strategy that we could play together!" Celestia said, keeping her voice lively.
"And what is this game?" Luna responded, sounding unconvinced that any such activity could be exciting this early on in the night.
"Oh, you'll see. I promise you, it's a classic," Celestia assured her.
"...For you, sister," Luna replied begrudgingly.
"Oh, thank you, Luna. Now let's go, it's all set up in my study," Celestia said, turning briskly and beginning to walk gracefully away. Luna followed, shutting the door behind herself.
+ + +
"...and the Grimoire allows Serfs to defeat Mages!" Celestia explained happily. Luna stared dumbfounded at the board before her.
"You say that your student created this game--and at the age of eleven?" she asked.
"Yes, it was Twilight's creative project that year," Celestia said. "She had one every year; I like to think this is one of the better ones."
Lying on a table between the two Princesses was a game board. It was fashioned of marble, and looked at first glance like a chess board. However, it was much, much larger than a chess board--four times larger, in fact. It was sixteen squares on a side, alternating black and white, and adorned with a large assortment of pieces that again resembled chess pieces at first glance. There were far more, however (again four times as many), and instead of the classic chess pieces they were a variety of different shapes. Celestia had just finished explaining the intricacies of the game to Luna, and they were many. Several pieces seemed to play no role other than augmenting their fellows, and the movement patterns were as varied as the shapes. Luna gulped. She had a feeling this would be less than a fair battle.
"You see," Celestia said, taking another of Luna's Serfs, "Twilight felt that she would do best taking an already winning formula and simply adding in more complication. Quite a challenge to pull off with something as brilliantly complex as chess--without disrupting the order of the game, at least."
Luna moved a Knight--one of the few familiar pieces--but to no avail; Celestia immediately took it with a Messenger and a Hoofsoldier. "In fact, I find one of the most curious portions of the game to be how well she pulled it off. Not only are the old pieces still useful, but the new ones compliment them perfectly. And the interactions between the pieces make learning the strategy even more difficult."
Luna simply grimaced.
+ + +
"Ready to get back to the game, sister?" Celestia asked. They had taken a temporary caesura to allow Luna to raise the moon--something that, Luna was surprised to learn, there were actually rules for.
"Indeed; however, I am not nearly as sure of my chances of victory, or even graceful defeat," Luna said. "You seem to be cornering me."
Glancing at the board as she sat down, Celestia was not so sure.
"Another beautiful thing about Quizad is that the victor is not known for certain until they have won," she said, advancing a Captain.
+ + +
"Sister, were you truly not aware of such an integral flaw in your defense?" Luna said, easily capturing one of Celestia's Rooks.
"As I am sure you are aware, Luna, there are sometimes sacrifices that must be made in order to ensure success, especially in chess. The same ideology plays equally into this game."
Luna thought about this for a moment. She was relatively good at chess, having been playing it for nearly all the time it had existed, save the period of her banishment. And what Celestia said was true, sometimes pieces had to be sacrificed.
But--and this was only a beginner's thought--she wasn't sure the same theory applied to Quizad.
+ + +
"And so the endgame begins!" Celestia announced, taking the last of Luna's outer circle of pieces. Luna growled. Her strategy of defense was failing her. But at the same time, she had made several exploitable holes in her sister's lines... Perhaps this game wasn't over yet.
+ + +
"Ha! I use my Archer, my Amulet, and my Serf! Your line is broken, sister!" Luna cried, jubilant.
(<<-->>)
"Yes, dear Luna, it certainly does seem the tide has turned. But as I said, that is the beauty of this game. Just when victory seems assured, a clever combination can change everything. Just a few pieces, working together, can save a whole army. I never have managed to realize just how Twilight created such an intricate game. But I do know one thing," Celestia said, grinning.
"What is that?" Luna said, suddenly suspicious.
"You only have twenty of your five hundred moves left."
As clouds clash and anger pours from the skies, I slip through the night of Canterlot. It has become known to me that I am needed. A collision of the timeless is set to occur, and such a gathering, ordained as they are, is not something one such as I can decide to leave off of. I come up to the castle, the streets behind me dark as the sky above, and enter.
I move, and I am where I must be.
"Hello," a voice says--not to me. I am not one that can be spoken to. The voice speaks to the other in the room. There are three of us here. The speaker. The spoken. I.
Whirling, Princess Celestia of Equestria confronts her late-night visitor. Taking in his appearance, her face darkens with anger. "I had forgotten of this destination," she says, and her voice quivers as she does so. "And I am grateful, as I would've been loath to prepare for its occurrence."
The visitor laughs cruelly. "It has been quite a while since last we entwined... What shall I call you now?"
Celestia opens her mouth to reply, but her visitor seems to have decided for himself.
"...hmm, I always liked Wormwood," he says. Celestia's eyes narrow.
"That name ceased meaning far before this world even existed," she retorts.
"Ah, but you are once again in the company of those who shall outlast even you, Wormwood," the visitor says. "But I suppose the real question is, what should you call me? I have not needed a title, where I have been. I suppose if I am returning I shall use the name originally bestowed to me..."
"Death," Celestia mutters.
"It has such bitterness behind it from your utterance, Wormwood!" Death says. "But I suppose I am forced to concede that much. We exist enemies, after all."
"You say you are returning," Celestia says. "Should you not be the last of your kind to do so?"
"Oh, but I am. My kin are here already," Death replies.
Celestia's eyes widen. Her jaw sets. "Liar! Equestria was promised amnesty! Permanent amnesty!"
"As you have said already, Wormwood, the world has not always been Equestria."
The room is extinguished, the candles that once lit it quenched. "That is an utter technicality," Celestia says after some moments.
"It is existence," Death responds. "I am come to announce myself to you purely because it has been said to be so. I do not mean to warn you, nor to prepare you. There is nothing to prepare for. The end is ordained. It is as sure as this conjunction."
"You are wrong," Celestia said. "Equestria is better than what came before it. I have made it better. I am the protectorate of this age, and I will not see another usurp it."
"No. You will not. Your time is expired, Wormwood. You are a leftover piece of the destruction of a previous essence of life. You cannot remain. The new dominion approaches."
The lights resurrect, and Celestia is alone. I retire once more into the brief respite of the night.
Brief to one such as I, and to those such as they.
Pinkie trotted out of Sugarcube Corner, into the heavy air of a midsummer night. The weather pegasi of Ponyville were building up for a big storm, she could tell. On any other night she might need a lantern as she trotted off into the dark, but not on this night. Not for where she was going. And in any case…
Pinkie did not need to look up to know the moon was full.
The clip-clop of her hooves on the cobblestone path leading to Fluttershy’s house was the only sound Pinkie could hear, though she knew that she wasn’t the only thing up this late. As she neared the cottage, her hooves were joined the soft trickle of the stream below her. A branch snapped somewhere.
Pinkie knocked on the door. She heard it’s bolt sliding out of its nighttime roost; then, the creak of the hinges as Fluttershy swung the whole thing open. Pinkie looked up from where she had been staring (a crack in the stones, nothing more), her eyes meeting Fluttershy’s. Pinkie walked in.
The door shut behind her, and the bolt returned to comfort.
"Hey there, Flutters," Pinkie said, her voice quiet, but her tone no less peppy than usual. Fluttershy smiled at her.
"Hello, Pinkie. Thank you," Fluttershy said, sounding maybe just a tiny bit pained.
"I would never dream of being anywhere but here," Pinkie responded.
The two walked away from the door.
The night drew long.
+ + +
It was that time of the month again.
Pinkie did not need to look up to know the moon was full.
Letting Pinkie in, Fluttershy said, “I wonder if anypony has ever noticed you coming out here.”
"Maybe," Pinkie said. "But it doesn’t matter. I’m here for you, and you know that anypony else would be too. Especially our friends."
Fluttershy frowned. “You know I don’t want them to know. They wouldn’t understand…”
Pinkie turned Fluttershy to face her. “Oh, yes they would, Fluttershy! Our friends are the most understanderiffic friends ever! You’ll see that, eventually.”
"I’m not so sure, Pinkie," Fluttershy responded.
Pinkie bopped her on the nose, and the two turned to walk into the living room.
The night drew long.
+ + +
Pinkie did not need to look up to know the moon was full.
She and Fluttershy sat across from each other, sinking into their respective chairs. Fluttershy had such wonderful chairs, Pinkie mused. It was a shame she didn’t have many ponies to sit in them.
"Anything else you wanna talk about, Flutters?" Pinkie said.
"No.. I— I think that’s it. Thank you for listening, Pinkie," Fluttershy said, her face scrunching up with embarrassment.
"Aww, don’t worry about it! What am I here for? To make sure you’re safe," Pinkie said. She got up and trotted over to Fluttershy, giving her a big hug.
"You’re keeping more than just me safe," Fluttershy mumbled.
"Don’t worry about that either," Pinkie said. "That’s another thing I’m sure about. You’d never hurt anypony. No matter what."
"I wish that were true, Pinkie," Fluttershy said.
"It is true. You can count on it," Pinkie responded.
They got up, walking towards the stairs. It was late, later even than usual.
The night grew long.
+ + +
Pinkie did not need to look up to know the moon was full.
Fluttershy lay beside her, both of them snuggled into the voluminous covers of Fluttershy’s bed. “No, Pinkie! No it’s not! It’s not okay! It’s never okay! The only reason it’s anything even like okay is that—”
"I’m here. Shhh, don’t worry, Fluttershy, you can count on me…" Pinkie hugged her closer.
"No! No! You don’t deserve this! Nopony deserves this! Nopony deserves to have to deal with me!" Fluttershy shrieked. A growl caught in her throat.
Pinkie stroked Fluttershy’s mane. “Shh…” she cooed.
[Time.]
"Shh… Don’t worry… You’re safe, I’m safe, we’re all safe…"
Fluttershy simply screamed, and Pinkie heard maybe just a tiny hint of…
"That one, Grandpa, that one!" Lily Blossom, my sister, cried. I scrambled up behind her, looking over her shoulder at the book Grandpa Pine held. It was his book of stories, I knew; we were all gathered around our campfire, and Grandpa was about to read to us.
Finally managing to catch a glimpse of the title of the story Lily wanted, I was intrigued to learn it was one we hadn't heard before. Lily was five years younger than me, and she liked hearing the same few stories over and over. Not that I didn't like Grandpa's storytelling, but a pony can only hear "The Bunny and the Alligator" so many times before it gets old.
We didn't let Lily choose the stories often.
But anyway, the story she wanted was called "The Princesses." I could tell why she might want to hear it; the picture at the top of the page showed four beautiful Princesses all standing in a line.
Grandpa chuckled, and put down the book so he could lift Lily off his lap. I grabbed her hoof, and together we sat down next to Grandpa on one of the logs.
The stars twinkled above us, and I heard a faint murmur of insects coming from the forest surrounding us. Our parents laid next to each other a few ponylengths from the ring of the fire, sleeping. They had claimed they were tired from walking all day, and that we should also come to bed. Grandpa had managed to talk them into letting us have at least one story before we went to bed, and they had grumbled off together.
Grandpa cleared his throat, and I looked up at him.
"All right, all right, now, let's see..." he said. Lily and I leaned forward in anticipation.
"Once upon a time, before Equestria even existed," he began, "the mysterious Goddess Nintu created two very special ponies. First of all, they were the first ponies to ever exist! Second of all, they, as the very first ponies, were all three kinds of ponies at once. They both had the long horn of a Unicorn, and the beautiful wings of a Pegasus, and the sturdiness of an Earth Pony. Finally, they were sisters. The very first pair of sisters there ever was. She named the older one Sun, and the younger one Moon.
"Now, the Goddess's daughters were very lonely, for while they had each other and their mother for company, they had nothing to do--remember, there was no Equestria yet. So Nintu made for them a wonderful world, and called it Equestria. And she filled it with all sorts of wondrous things for her daughters to play with--forests, and mountains, and birds, and fish, and everything else. But no other ponies.
"Sun and Moon were happy for a while, but eventually they returned to their mother, asking for others like them to play with. So Nintu made ponies for her daughters to play with. But, as mothers can be, she wanted her daughters to be unique, so instead of giving all the ponies wings and horns and strength, she divided everything up into three races of pony, and sent all the new creatures out into the world. And Sun and Moon played and were happy.
"A long time passed, and Sun and Moon had many adventures. The ponies they spent time with they called friends, and they all were happy. But eventually Sun and Moon became tired. They wanted to rest. So their mother made them a special home to sleep in, and sleep they did. By the time they woke up, they found that all the ponies they had once known were gone, and that nopony even remembered them! In fact, without their presence, ponies had become angry and distrustful, and the three races were terribly mean to each other.
"Sun and Moon knew this wouldn't do at all, so they asked their mother for another favor. They wanted another sister, one who could help them bring all the races of ponies back together again. Their mother said that if they went out into the world and looked hard enough, they would find who they were looking for. So Sun and Moon did as their mother said, and sure enough, after many years of searching, they found a pony who could help them. They cast many spells, and they made her their sister, and they made Nintu her mother. And her name was Love.
"The three sisters went off now, and they brought all the races of pony back together. In fact, the ponies were so happy that they didn't have to fight each other any more, and they were so grateful to the sisters, that they made them their Princesses, and said that the sisters should be their new rules.
"And it was so. Sun and Moon and Love ruled over Equestria for many years, and they saw many different kinds of pony come and go, and they were happy. They had many adventures as before, and fought many foes.
"But eventually, Love became tired, just as Sun and Moon had before her. Despite her sisters' pleading, Love went to the same house where Sun and Moon had slept, and she took a long respite. And Sun and Moon were two again, if just for a time. However, it was a time too long. Moon started to notice that the ponies seemed to love Sun more than they loved her. This made Moon very angry, and eventually, she became wicked, and tried to take the throne away from her sister. Sun had no choice but to lock Moon away, and then Sun was alone.
"Sun cried many long days and nights, but she knew she had a responsibility for her ponies. So she became the sole Princess of Equestria, and she ruled over her ponies for many long years, and the world was happy once again.
[Time]
"Eventually, Love awoke, and wept alongside Sun when she heard of Moon's fate. But it was not long after that Moon escaped her prison, and returned. But a courageous pony that Sun knew and loved rose to stop her. The pony and her friends turned Moon to good, and Equestria's Princesses were restored. The pony and her friends fought many foes for the Princesses over the years, until eventually, Sun and Moon knew what had to be done. They brought her to them, and wrought a great magic--the same one they had wrought over Love so many years ago--and made the pony their sister, and Nintu her mother. And the pony's name was Magic, and she was just as great a Princess as her sisters.
"The four Princesses ruled for many more years over Equestria. Magic slept, and awoke again, and time passed, and the world was happy. And then one day, when the four looked upon their ponies and knew that they were truly good, they returned to the embrace of their mother, and left Equestria behind. And then we come to today.
"The Princesses smile over us, their mother with them, for they know that we need them no longer. The world is a happy place now, and they are tired."
Prompt #504: “It Was the Spring of Hope, It Was the Winter of Despair”
“The fourth age of Equestria.”
The following excerpts were taken from the Princess Twilight Sparkle's newest work, A Summative History of Ponydom.
+ + +
Chapter 1: Before the Founding
Approximately nine thousand years ago, ponykind as we might recognize it today arose, far to the north of what we know today as Equestria. They lived peacefully amongst each other for a time, cooperating in harmony. In fact, their society is actually relatively accurately captured in the classical Hearth's Warming Eve play put on annually both in Canterlot and across the country. Earth Ponies provided the food, Pegasi guarded against any threats and took care of the weather, and Unicorns controlled the Sun and Moon...
This nation lasted for around a thousand years, until the disharmony witnessed in the Hearth's Warming Eve play broke them apart, and sent them South, where they would eventually find the land we call Equestria, as would they, in time...
Chapter 2: Early Equestria
Upon its founding, Equestria was led by a cross-racial council of ponies. This time was known as the First Equestrian Age. It lasted for a scant number of decades, and was a less than prosperous period of pony history. As the ponies of this time had to rebuild a whole nation from nothing more than the land around them, this is perhaps understandable...
Chapter 3: Rise of the Princesses
The end of the First Equestrian Age was marked by a threat that nopony could have ever prepared for: the draconequus Discord. Known best for the strife caused some years ago, what Discord did to the ponies of old was much more thorough and went on for a much longer period of time. Indeed, the only reason his original reign ever came to an end was the appearance of two Alicorns--our Princesses Celestia and Luna. They, along with the Elements of Harmony, defeated Discord. They were crowned for their feats, and with their rulership came the second age of Equestria, the Diarchan Age. The Diarchan Age spans the majority of pony history. Lasting for nearly seven thousand years, Equestria enjoyed immense prosperity in her time under Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, even though not much remains from this ancient time...
Chapter 5: Nightmare
The Diarchan Age ended with the rise of Nightmare Moon. Thought for decades by most present-day scholars to be nothing more than an old pony's tale, the existence both of a second princess and of an actual Nightmare Moon were shocking discoveries, such that they ended the age begun by her original uprising and subsequent defeat...
Chapter 6: Lone Rule
Having banished her sister to the moon, Princess Celestia became the sole ruler of Equestria, and in doing so ushered in the Second Equestrian Age. Ponykind was shaken by the rebellion of one of their rulers, and in this time Princess Celestia was forced to relieve herself of much of her political powers and status, becoming much more the reserved ruler we know today. A new council was organized, to be advised by the Princess and nothing more. It was also agreed that a propaganda campaign be organized...
Chapter 9: Return of Luna
The present day is most easily identified as the time after the return of Nightmare Moon, the Elements of Harmony, and Princess Luna. Many other threats from before the Second Equestrian Age have returned in what scholars are calling the Harmonious Age, but so far none have posed a serious and lasting threat to Equestria...
+ + +
To learn more about the history of Equestria and ponykind, pick up A Summative History of Ponydom at your local bookstore today!
Twilight trotted happily out of her library. She was on her way to Carousel Boutique; Rarity had asked her to come over to be remeasured. Twilight suspected a group gift was in the works, but if Rarity wanted to be generous, Twilight wouldn't stop her.
Making her way across town, Twilight bathed in the bright, sunny day. Really a lovely early autumn afternoon, it was a shame the weather ponies would be bringing winter along before she knew it. She walked past a cart salespony, who waved at her. Twilight waved back, noticing that the pony was selling chocolate.
Coming up on the Boutique, Twilight was confused to find the "Closed" sign hung up on the door. Rarity was never closed this early in the day; it was only just past noon! Twilight shrugged, and, supposing that as usual the "Closed" sign didn't apply to friends, knocked.
And knocked again.
And again.
And again.
Putting her hoof to the door for the fifth time, Twilight was beginning to get just a little bit worried. She walked away from the door and tried peering in the windows of the Boutique.
The curtains were all drawn.
She trotted further back, to the back door.
Closed as well, and once again the window curtained. Twilight tried knocking on this door.
Still nothing.
Twilight found herself weighing Rarity's privacy against the suddenly present fear that something had happened to her friend. She might've gotten a big order, Twilight reasoned. Something that would make her close up shop. And she'd be concentrating so hard that she wouldn't have noticed my knocking.
But that still doesn't account for not informing us of anything! Twilight responded to herself. Rarity is always very good about telling ponies when she has to cancel an appointment. Twilight looked at the sun. She found that the time she had spent standing outside the Boutique had already used up a third of the time she had budgeted for this appointment as it was. That only added to her panic.
Coming to the (admittedly rather rushed) decision that Rarity's theoretical safety should be put first (not to mention what this misuse of time was doing to her schedule), Twilight mustered her magic into her horn, and disappeared in a flash.
+ + +
Reappearing in the center room of Carousel Boutique, Twilight found the interior to be just as darkened and mysterious as the exterior.
"Rarity?" she called.
No response.
"It's not like there are that many places she could be," Twilight muttered, starting up the stairs. It occurred to her that perhaps Rarity was not in at all; after all, she could've run out into town for a piece of cloth or the like, it wasn't like she was locked in her boutique--
Twilight's thoughts were interrupted by a faint sound echoing down the stairs. It sounded like...
Music?
And not any music...
Moody music.
Twilight suddenly felt like she understood the situation tenfold. She clip-clopped up to the door of Rarity's room, sure that behind it she would find a friend with a problem in need of a solution. Twisting the knob, she was met, sure enough, with...
Twilight's jaw dropped.
Before her, both sitting on Rarity's massive bed, were Rarity and Pinkie Pie. The former appeared to be giving the latter a shoulder massage, and several candles burned, the scent of their incense strong. Rarity's gramophone sat on a side table, the music that Twilight had heard pouring forth. Pinkie had curlers in her mane. Pinkie was saying something to Rarity.
Twilight stuttered.
Pinkie stopped what she was saying, and both ponies turned towards the new noise. Rarity, seeing Twilight standing uncomprehendingly in her doorway, simply exclaimed, "Oh! Twilight! I'm ever so sorry, I forgot about our appointment entirely! Though, if I may ask--what are you doing in my house?"
Twilight's mouth simply opened and closed, and she began to back out of the doorway.
"Oh! No, do come in, Twilight, dear. It's my fault for not informing you that I would not be available for our engagement. You see, Pinkie Pie came to me most distressed, and-"
"Oh, it was just AWFUL, Twilight!" Pinkie exclaimed, falling backwards into Rarity.
Twilight still looked much more like a critter caught in the glare of a cockatrice than a pony capable of understanding words.
Rarity got up, setting Pinkie down and scooching past her, and walked over to Twilight, putting a hoof around her back and leading her over to the bed. "As I was saying, Pinkie arrived at my boutique having suffered a simply awful trauma, and I felt that it was my duty to tend to her."
Closing her mouth, Twilight's eyes refocused for the first time as the idea of one of her friends being upset made its way into her brain. "Oh-oh. What... What's wrong, Pinkie?"
Pinkie lifted her hooves up into the air. "Did you see the chocolate pony on your way here, Twilight?"
"...Yes?" Twilight responded.
"Well, she's what's wrong! Or her chocolate!" Pinkie turned over onto her side.
"...Huh?"
[Time]
"I just wanted to have some chocolate! Just a piece! And it looked so good..." Pinkie said, her voice quivering with anguish. "So I bought a piece, and I ate it. AND IT WAS AWFUL!" she cried, completing her 180 and smooshing her face into the plush sheets of Rarity's bed. "It was bitter, and nasty, and I think it might have been filled with coconut! I love coconut, but not in my chocolate! Who puts coconut in chocolate anyway!"
Twilight opened her mouth to reply, but Pinkie was not yet done.
"And worst of all? Worst of ALL!? It. Was. TINY! Like seriously, it was smaller than my hoof! How anypony could ever smile after eating that... That THING... I just don't get it, Twilight. I just don't," Pinkie said, sounding in real and true pain at the thought.
"As you can see, Twilight, Pinkie was most disturbed by Sees Candy's most recent batch of gourmet chocolates," Rarity said. "While I may not agree completely with her point of view--I simply love her work--I can see the sense behind it. Gourmet chocolate is not for everypony, I'm afraid."
"Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity..." the all-knowing Fausticorn uttered, sounding unsure.
"What should the other two be, though? Ugh. Oh! I know," the all-knowing Fausticorn said, "I'll check Wikipedia."
A couple minutes later, the all-knowing Fausticorn was staring at Wikipedia's list of virtues. "Ooh, Laughter, I like that one...and...Ah-ha! I've got it!" the all-knowing Fausticorn cried.
"Thrift!"
+ + +
"Twilight, why are we still looking through these old books?" Spike said.
"Spikezilla, I told you man, I gotta find some swaggy old books to make some sick book boxes out of. The Princess told me to!" Twilight responded.
The two were standing in one of the darkened rows of a store possibly older than its already ancient wares, pulling books off the shelves around them.
"Ooh, what's this?" she said, picking up an old story book. "Tales of Equestria, huh?"
+ + +
"Yo, my mom never told me about any Nightmare Moon," Twilight cried, having just finished reading the whole book. "And, like, I'm remembering all kinds of stuff about this! It seems pretty legit, actch. Maybe we should, like, tell Princess Celestia?"
"Oh, that's it," Spike grumbled. "I'm drawing the line at... 'actch.'"
"Wazzat, Spikezilla?"
"And don't call me Spikezilla."
+ + +
"Blaze it up, Spikezoid!" Twilight cried. Spike put a claw to his face, and blew flames through his short fingers, burning up the scroll he had just finished writing at Twilight's behest. "I'm sure that Prinrad Celestiawesome will totally get back to us speedier than a-" Twilight was interrupted by Spike burping out another scroll.
"Wow, I didn't even get to finish my sweet comparison."
+ + +
"No, but seriously, why of all the possible things Celessytia could've told us to do, would she send us off to this swagless podunk dunkery of a town?" Twilight exclaimed to Spike.
"She probably just wanted to get you out of Canterlot," Spike said. The chariot they were flying down to Ponyville in finally landed, and they got out, Twilight flashing a gang sign at the guards pulling it.
"Ha! Sick burn, my flamester man! I guess you spit fires in more ways than one," Twilight said, laughing. Spike merely furrowed his nonexistent eyebrows further.
Stepping out of the road, Twilight immediately found herself nose-to-nose with the pinkest pony she had ever seen.
"Daaaaaang, gurl!" Twilight said. "My mind cannot handle your massive display of immensely perturbing pastel pigments!"
The pink pony merely gasped, and sped off.
"#SwagYOLO2013!" Twilight cried after her, waving a hoof.
+ + +
"So I guess we're supposed to go talk to all the ponies up and around in this hood, make sure that this here swiggity festival or whatevs is goin' down in appropriate fashion?" Twilight said to Spike. He didn't seem to hear her. "Well, here we got this gnarly farm, so I guess we're on our way."
Sure enough, she ran into an orange mare soon after stepping onto farm property.
"Well, howdy!" the mare said, smiling. "And who might you be?"
"Twiswag."
"Uh... Pardon?"
Twilight suddenly began laughing mirthfully. "Nah, nah, my name's Twilight, girl. I'm here to check up, on, like, the food. Or something."
"...Oh! Well, I can tell ya', we've got a lot of it! My name's Applejack," Applejack said.
"Fancy-fine! Can I take a munch?"
+ + +
"Dang, that was good... Didn't ya think, Spikeberg?" Twilight said. She had eaten everything Applejack and her family had thrown at her.
"I wouldn't know," Spike said. "I didn't get to try any of it."
"Aw, don't feel bad, little man," Twilight said. "I guess you can catch a bite later tonight at the-" She was cut off by the sudden jamming of a pegasus into her groove. She thought.
"Yoooo, what's up and down?" Twilight said, head spinning.
"Heh! Sorry," a sandy voice sounded. "Lemme help you out with that."
Suddenly Twilight was surrounded with a whirlwind of flying blue pony. The mud and wet she had accumulated in her mane from the crash was whipped out by the sheer windforce.
Coming to a screeching halt, the blue pegasus said, "Name's Rainbow Dash."
Twilight stared up at her, awestruck.
"You... Gurl... Your mane... Is. RAINBOWS."
"Isn't it great?" Rainbow Dash said.
"Aww yeah it is! Tell me (as it is clear that a fine mare such as yourself should know such thangs), any other hotties besides yourself in town?" Twilight said. Spike sighed deeply.
Rainbow Dash thought about that for a moment. "Yeah, actually. Rarity's probably the sweetest look in town, even if she IS a bit of a prude."
"Let's move," Twilight said.
+ + +
Opening the door to the town hall, Twilight trotted in, Rainbow Dash and Spike following. Catching sight of the mare hanging decorations, Twilight was even more totally stunned than when she had first observed the sick strands of Dash's mane.
"Sheeeeeeeeeeeee-"
"-yet!" Spike finished, joining his friend and sister in her admiration of the mighty fine female before them.
[Time]
"Oh, hello!" The pony called. They both sat completely still. Rainbow glanced down at them, shrugged, and flew over to Rarity.
"Hey, Rares. This is Twilight," she said.
"Oh? And what brings you to town? I don't believe I've seen you before," Rarity said.
Twilight fell over.
+ + +
"Oh, dear... Um... I don't know why you brought her to me, I..."
"Because, Fluttershy! She just collapsed! I dunno, I guess I panicked!" That was Rainbow Dash, Twilight could tell.
"Well, she seems to be coming to, in any case." Rarity, now.
"Oh- um- oh my- oh-" The new pony-Fluttershy?-went silent.
Suddenly, the door (Twilight thought it sounded like a door) was blown open, and a massive noisemaker rang throughout... Wherever it was they were.
Twilight heard the sound of a pony hitting the ground, and then, "Oh, no! Fluttershy..."
Suddenly, Twilight remembered that there was some stuff she was supposed to be doing. Like, making sure the preparations for the whatever-festival were going alright? Man, kinda screwed that one up. And wasn't there some evil god that was gonna be reappearing?
"Eh, can't be that important," Twilight said to herself. "I got too much swag for this anyway."
+ + +
Coming to from the fantasy vision, the all-knowing Fausticorn shook her head in fear.
"I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to break you."
A bright, bright light flicked on. Rarity closed her eyes in discomfort, and tilted her head away from what appeared to be the ceiling.
"Hey! Look back at the light! It doesn't work if you aren't looking at the light!"
"...hmm?" Rarity wasn't quite sure who was behind that voice, but--
"Rarity, you gotta look at the light!" Pinkie Pie said, bouncing into view. In fact, Pinkie Pie was the only thing in her view; the rest of the room was shrouded in darkness, as the light from the lamp above Rarity only shone far enough to illuminate the pony before her (and to cause irreparable damage to her corneas, Rarity was sure).
"Why must I look at the light, Pinkie Pie?" Rarity said, drawling. "I'm afraid it's quite painful."
"Oh! Is it? I'm sorry, I must have it turned up too far. Hold on, lemme..." Pinkie's voice drifted off as she moved out of view. Rarity tried to turn to follow her, but realized that her hooves were tied down to the arms of the chair she was sitting in, and that her chest was similarly restrained to the body of the chair.
A loud click sounded, and the intensity of the light dropped quite a bit. Rarity still wasn't sure she wanted to stare directly into it, however.
"While that is better, dear, I still don't understand why you want me to stare at it," Rarity said.
"I'm interrogating you, silly! How can I interrogate you without a light in your face? It's classic!" Pinkie responded, entering Rarity's view once more.
"Interrogating me? I'm sure I have no idea why! I demand an explanation!" Rarity exclaimed.
"Oh, don't you?" Pinkie said, her voice growing coy. "And you're sure you wouldn't be willing to tell me anything about the others, not even if..." At this, Pinkie whipped out a large white featherduster from behind her back. "I tickle you to death?!"
Rarity opened her mouth in mock terror, though internally she was just the teeniest bit afraid. Pinkie stared at her captive, pulling herself in very close. She quivered as she looked. A moment passed.
Pinkie backed off of Rarity. "I see. Well, nothing for it!"
"Wait, wh-"
Pinkie brought the featherduster to bear, sweeping it back and forth across Rarity's hind hooves with the practiced motions of an expert in her medium. Caught by surprise, Rarity had no time to prepare, and a giggle escaped.
"Ha! I knew it! You do know something!" Pinkie said, ceasing her tickling.
Recomposing herself, Rarity put a stern look on her face. "I have no idea why you'd believe such a thing! It was simply a laugh! You are quite good at using that featherduster, I must say."
"Oh, am I?" Pinkie said, and went back to tickling Rarity ferociously. Rarity was ready this time, though, and despite Pinkie's skill in tickling, she managed to keep herself from laughing.
"Ooh, you're good! But I'm sure that you know where their base is, and that's information I need!" Pinkie said, and redoubled her efforts.
Many ponies throughout history have been renowned for one reason or another--strength, or wit, or benevolence--but never was a feat of will so amazing as this one ever witnessed on the face of Equestria, nor would one after. Pinkamena Diane Pie was the pony that schoolhouse foals told horror stories of, for her incredible skill in eliciting a laugh, giggle or smile by tickle within moments. Nopony could withstand her might, whether she had a feather, a featherduster, or nothing at all.
Rarity resisted the temptation to burst out laughing and squirming for two minutes and thirty-seven seconds.
It was the longest two minutes and thirty-seven seconds of her life.
But eventually, finally, she broke. She cracked a smile. Maybe a murmur of a giggle escaped her lips. Pinkie noticed, and her own grin grew wider. Rarity twitched. Then, a laugh. Then, she jerked her hoof. Then...
Pinkie's grin sealed itself on her face as she pulled a notepad and pencil from her mane.
"They- they keep the flag just outside of Ponyville, under the--"
Rarity was cut off by the sound of a door being kicked in. Light streamed into the room, revealing it as a nondescript wooden shack. A clattering noise was heard, and color streaked across Pinkie's coat.
"Gotcha!" Rainbow Dash cried.
[TIME]
"Aww, I had just gotten her to start talking," Pinkie said. She reached up and pulled the cord on a different light fixture. This one actually illuminated the room, and the light was warm. She switched off her interrogation lamp.
"Sorry Pinks," Dash said, walking into the room. "You shoulda known that Rarity is almost impossible to crack." She was followed by the rest of their friends, all wearing heavy gear and carrying paint guns. Fluttershy and Applejack had paint streaked across their chests as well.
"I'm so happy that we've been having such a great time playing paintball!" Twilight said. "This really was a good idea for our anniversary, Rainbow."
Rainbow Dash, sitting on the couch in the main living room, flicked an ear. She had been reading, but it sounded like there were matters that needed attending to. Sure enough, a teenaged unicorn, coat very brightly white, mane the color of a sunset, stalked into the room only a few seconds after her entrance into the house.
"Hey, Sunny! What's up?" Rainbow called. Sunlight (for that was her name) turned to look at the pegasus.
"I-- Well-- I have a problem, mom," Sunlight responded, sounding reluctant.
"What's that?" Rainbow said, getting up and flitting over to Sunlight. "You know you can always talk to your mom about your problems, right?"
"Yeah, I know," Sunlight said, putting her head down just a bit. "Doesn't make it any easier to do."
Rainbow could agree with her there. "So? Let's hear it," Dash said.
"Well, I've been hanging out a lot with Salt and Pom--you know that," Sunlight said. Dash did; Salty Sweet was Caramel's son, and Pomegranate Red, Mayor Mare's daughter. They were Sunlight's best friends. "And... I've been...thinking?"
"You've always been like Twilight that way," Dash said, laughing. "Thinking up a storm. What'cha been thinking about?"
"Well," Sunlight said, "About... Our friendships, I guess. I've just started having some...really...really weird feelings, about them both. And the other day I think I caught myself staring at Salt..." Sunlight's face lit up bright red at that, and she covered her mouth with her hoof. Dash almost, almost, started laughing, but she caught herself at the last second. If Sunny was trying to say what Dash thought she was trying to say, then laughter was the last thing she would need. Perhaps a good thing she had found Dash and not Pinkie sitting in the family room, then. Well. Mostly good. Rarity probably would've been better.
Composed, Rainbow put her hoof on her daughter's shoulder. "And Pom?"
"Well, I guess I've been noticing a lot more when she's wearing makeup--all gussied up, y'know?" Sunlight said, cracking a feeble grin at using one of Applejack's classics.
"Yeah, I getcha," Dash said. "So you're thinking about being more than friends, huh?"
Sunlight's head snapped around to stare at Rainbow Dash. "I-- I never said that!" she stammered.
"All but, kiddo!" Rainbow replied. "I'm pretty sure I see what you're getting at here. I might not be as smart as Twilight, and I might not think as much--" here she winked at Sunlight "--but I can do two plus two. Or one plus one, am I right?" Dash followed up her wink with a kooky grin. Sunlight frowned at her. Right. Not laughing.
"I... I guess you're right. But I have feelings for both of them! How am I supposed to choose?" Sunlight said tightly. "I just got back from hanging out with Pom at the spa... I couldn't stop looking at her! It's getting really frustrating, and I feel like my hooves are tied."
"Hey, Sunny. I know that it seems like a lot right now," Rainbow said, "and trust me--it is. I should know. But I think you're forgetting something. You don't have to choose. Look at us!" Rainbow Dash pointed at the fireplace just a few ponylengths from the both of them. Atop the mantle sat a familiar portrait--one that had stared back at Sunlight her whole life. Six ponies--Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack--sat on a beautifully green hilltop. It was an old photograph, and it had meant something much different when it was taken compared to what it meant now. Once it was a reminder of a wonderful friendship. Now it was something much, much more. "We mighta had to choose. But we decided not to! And you can too," Rainbow said, smiling again. "Maybe it won't work out. Maybe your friends aren't gonna be okay with some wacko relationship. But you know what, kiddo? Maybe it'll work out. In fact, I'd bet on it!"
Sunlight looked at her mother. "You need to spend less time with Fluttershy and more time with Applejack, mom. You're getting all sappy."
"Hey! I'm right, aren't I?" Rainbow responded.
Sunlight creased her brow. "I don't know that either. You do have a point. But it's... It's just a lot to think about. But I guess that's the point, right? It's a lot to think about."
"Yeah, Sunny. It is. But like I said...It's all in the cards."
“A friendly little community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Ponyville.
OR
And now, the weather.”
"Hello, ponies!
My name is Pinkie Pie--oh, though I'm sure you already know that! I know all of you, after all! But anyway, I'm Pinkie Pie, and this is the Ponyville Community Radio! I'll be reporting all the news of the day to all of you, so get out there and make this a wonderlicious day!
"Alright, I'm getting reports of a pack of jaguars that have overtaken the town market! My intern Rainbow Dash tells me that they have been 'totally smashing,' and 'completely wrecking,' and 'utterly ruining' all the market ponies stalls! Well, that's just awful! Somepony should call my friend Fluttershy to go take care of them!
"In other news, the town library no longer exists. When my girlfriend Twilight sent me a letter about this, I was really surprised--after all, the library has been around for as long as I can remember! I don't think anypony in Ponyville remembers when the library didn't exist! But she says it doesn't any more. She actually seemed really upset about it, which makes sense, because she lives in the library. I hope she's okay. I'd go check, but I have to keep reading you ponies the news, so Twilight...will...will just have to deal with her no-longer-existent home on her own.
"Hey, little fillies and colts! Have you ever wondered why the sky is such a pretty color? Well, I've heard that every night, small little monsters creep out from behind the stars and dump paint all over it! The paint takes a while to get here, of course, because the stars are really far away--and so every day, as Princess Celestia moves the sun across the sky, its light reflects on the paint that's slowly coming towards us ponies here in Equestria! Isn't that neat?
"This has been Children's Fun Fact Science Corner! Twilight told me I should start up that segment, she loves science!
"Oh, Rainbow just got back from the market, and she's saying that after she went out to get Fluttershy, Fluttershy was able to calm all those jaguars right down! She says that Fluttershy just went right up to all six of them, and fed them some milk from a nearby stand, and then all the jaguars just got really sleepy and curled up with her for a nap! Aww, isn't that cute! I can barely stand just imagining how cute it is!
Rainbow Dash also said that apparently Twilight has been circling the library for the past half an hour, her horn glowing with a strange intensity, and her eyes not reflecting any light. Rainbow Dash also said that apparently Spike is nowhere to be seen.
"Sounds really cool and neat! I hope Twilight does okay with whatever spell she's trying to cast--but who are you kidding, Pinkie, Twilight always casts spells totally-perfecto!
"Now, ponies, I'd like you all to sit back and let me tell you a little story. Imagine that you are sitting all alone--but you're not sad. And imagine that you're alone because all the ponies you were just sitting with suddenly vanished from the room. You didn't see them go, so you don't imagine that they all walked out, but you also can't really remember what you've been doing for the past few hours--you must've fallen asleep! Silly you, falling asleep in strange rooms like that. But anyway, you suddenly realize that you're all alone. You weren't sad before, but as you're looking around, you start feeling even more alone, and you start to be kinda sad about it after all. So you get up and walk over to the door of the room, but after you open the door, you realize that it doesn't lead anywhere! The door opens onto a brick wall! That's funny, you think. How did you get into the room if the door doesn't work? But then you notice a curtain hanging on the wall. So you go over to the curtain, and open it, and you see a window! Looking out the window, you see a really pretty lawn, and some statues--ooh, and I bet they're the silly ones of flamingos Rarity's parents really like! Oh! Sorry. You look out the window, and you see the lawn, and all the statues, and also a large lake in the distance. You don't remember living in a place where there were lawns, or statues, or lakes, so this is all really weird. Just then, somepony walks in the door. Who is that pony? Who walked in the door? Where did they come from? Who are you? How did you walk in the door? Where did you come from?
"This has been...traffic! I always like that part. The stories are always really funny.
"Anyway, Rainbow Dash dropped by one more time to tell me that the jaguars in the market are gone now...and so is Fluttershy? Wow! Fluttershy disappeared, too? I wonder where she went? But Rainbow Dash says the jaguars are gone, and all the market ponies are putting their stalls back together, so that's great! It would be a real shame if the market was wrecked forever--I really like going to the market!
"Ooh--this just in from Mayor Mare's office! Mayor Mare says that any mysterious, strange, odd, weird, peculiar, bizarre, frightening, haunting, terrifying, world-shaking, mind-melting, existence-questioning, or otherwise out of places noises you've been hearing coming from the basement of Town Hall, don't actually exist! Well isn't that great! I'd hate to think anything is wrong with Town Hall, not after Applejack worked so hard for the money to repair it!
"Welcome back, Ponyvillians! During the break, I sent out intern Rainbow Dash to collect some more info on just what's going down at the Ponyville Library! She isn't back yet, but I'm sure she will be soon!
"In the mean time, I've pulled together another little story to tell you all. It goes like this:
"The plants twisted together. The plants pulled apart. The rocks smashed together. The rocks smashed apart. The lights went out together. The lights went out apart. The wind shifted together. The wind shifted apart. The song of the universe came to one final, massive crescendo, and then everything went silent.
"Wow, that was a short one! That was finances, everypony!
"Oh, and Rainbow Dash is back from the library! She says that when she went to check on the library, she found, much to her surprise, that it exists once again! I thought that was really super, don't you? But Rainbow Dash also said that the library is shrouded in a thick mist, so maybe she only thinks it still exist. Rainbow Dash said that really, the library either could exist, or maybe it doesn't, but since there's this really weird mist covering the whole place, obviously something has changed, and so Rainbow Dash thinks it's probably safe to assume that the library exists again.
"Well, I don't know what's up with this whole library thing, but I think I should go check it out! Twilight and I were gonna go to the movies tonight, and I need to see if she's still available!
Twilight Sparkle: a hardened investigator on the streets of Vanhoover
Pinkie Pie: owner of a curios shop in a back alley of the big city
+ + +
"I'm sorry, Miss Pie, but I'm afraid I just don't understand what you're trying to tell me." Twilight Sparkle pushed her magnifying glass--and, subsequently, her face--ever closer to the broken pane of glass before her.
"I told you, silly goose! They stole an idea right out of my display window!" Pinkie Pie said. "Honestly, I thought an egghead like you would understand right away!"
"Egg--what do you mean, egghead? How would you know I'm an eggh--that I'm well-read?" Twilight replied, shifting herself to look at Pinkie. Pinkie merely gave her a strange look and went back to talking.
"Those crooked ponies smashed this glass right here and nabbed the idea right out! It was one of my best ones, too! I could'a sold it for a pretty penny..." Pinkie said.
"If this...idea..." Twilight said, "was so valuable, then why would you put it on display in the first place?"
"Well, duh! How else would anypony know that I had it in stock?" Pinkie chirped.
Twilight decided not to deign that one with a response. Instead, she simply straightened her legs, saying, "Well, if you can't tell me exactly what was stolen, and you don't know who did it, then I'm afraid I can't help you, Miss P-"
"Wait just a second! Who said I can't tell you who did it?"
+ + +
Standing in the back room of Pinkie's very, very cramped little shop, Twilight stared. She gaped. She gawked. Indeed, her mouth was ajar in awe.
The focus of her attention--and her disbelief--was the stack of folders that lay before her. Pinkie Pie stood next to the stack--or, Twilight thought, did the stack stand next to her? For it was taller than them both--peering at it. After another moment or two of thought, she stuck out her hoof, grabbed a folder--at random, it seemed to Twilight--and pulled it out fast enough not to topple the whole massive pile.
Twilight finally regained her voice. "And you're saying that these are files on all the criminal activity in Vanhoover?"
"Yepperooni! I started keeping them right after my first break in a couple years ago. Trust me, sister, when you run a curio shop in one of the biggest and most criminal cities in Equestria, it pays to know who's up to what," Pinkie said, opening the file folder she had pulled. She leafed through a few pages of it, and then pointed to what looked to Twilight like a mugshot--not that that made any more sense than the rest of her time with Pinkie, as she knew for certain that no pony had ever been apprehended by the Department of Justice who bore those characteristics. For the mare staring angrily back at her was missing both ears, and her left eye, and she had a bright scar running across the middle of her face, from one side to another, right over her snout.
"...so you're telling me this mare was the one who stole your...idea?" Twilight said. Pinkie looked up at her from the page.
"Yeah. But not just her! No, she had help. Help from none other than...!" Pinkie turned the page dramatically, revealing another mugshot, another file, and another greatly-disfigured pony--this one a stallion, also missing both ears, but with his right eye gone instead of his left one, and a vertical scar instead of a horizontal one.
"I had no idea our city was so rife with horribly-mangled criminals," Twilight grumbled.
"They're twins, Twilight! Twins, and partners in crime," Pinkie said, lowering her voice. "Word on the street is they've been looking for a way to fix their faces so they can blend better, y'know? Which is why I think they stole my idea! You see, it has all kinds of secrets about these really powerful-" But Twilight had heard something she thought she might understand, and had latched on.
Cutting in, she said, "Wait, so what they stole was some kind of book? Or paper?"
"Well, kinda, but it's sorta more abstract than-"
"Paper I can deal with. What do you know about where these two live? And what else can you give me on them? I need names, here, Miss Pie. Names and numbers."
+ + +
Revolver holstered at her side, Twilight perched atop one of the many apartment buildings of Vanhoover. The skyline was beautiful this late at night--but Twilight didn't notice, intent as she was on what was below her. She had cast a neat little trick of a spell she learned during her time in school, one that allowed her to bend her vision down and around through space.
Essentially, she was peeking through a window.
Squinting hard against the darkness, Twilight wished the spell came with some night vision. But against the odds, she did manage to catch a glimpse of a pony as they swept by the mostly-curtained window. They...might've been the same color as one of the twins; Twilight wasn't sure. But this was the address Pie had given her, and the mare certainly seemed to know her stuff (something Twilight would be looking into, as well as why nopony else had ever made mention of her to the Department).
"So there's somepony down there... Invisibility and a quiet teleport?" Twilight mused to herself. It would be dangerous, but she trusted her own magical skills. She wouldn't be able to do both at the same time, but, as she knew, it was dark down there, so she would probably have enough time between the teleport and slipping on the invisibility spell...
Undoing the vision spell, she relit her horn and readied herself for a break-in. With a nearly-silent pop, she vanished.
Reappearing in the apartment below herself, she immediately cast her invisibility spell.
[TIME]
Just in time, too, for a moment later a pony came hustling along, almost knocking into Twilight. She hadn't managed to get a very good look, but she could definitely tell by the form that the pony was missing both her ears. Twilight slipped forward, following the shadowy figure.
She didn't have far to travel.
Almost immediately the pair came to a door--wooden, from what Twilight could tell. The pony in front of her opened it with her mouth, and walked through. Twilight tail-gated as best she could, cautious of bumping into her target or accidentally stumbling and making noise. She managed to slip through the door and past the pony, who then shut the door. Twilight and the pony turned in unison to look into the room they had just entered.
One of them hurried off, and one of them dropped their jaw--for the second time that day--in awe.
Before Twilight lay an intricate series of runes, painted with the precision of a seasoned unicorn, and lit by a dim bare bulb hanging from the ceiling. They formed the shape of a star--but, Twilight thought, it looked almost as if the star was reversed. Something about the angles looked wrong. The more she stared at it, the more uneasy she became. The ponies she was looking for were Earth ponies--why would they be messing around with magic like this? For that matter, how could they be messing around with magic like this?
Twilight shivered, despite herself. And, luckily for her, stepped forward a few hooves--for the door opened again, and another pony entered. This one also seemed to be missing his ears. He walked up to the runic circle, joining the other pony.
They began to chant.
The words sounded wrong to Twilight's ears, alien in some sort of horrific way that defied logic and explanation. As they continued, the feeling in her gut only worsened.
These two were up to something, and they were up to something bad.
It is a truth commonly acknowledged that letters, as a rule, do not fall out of the sky of their own volition. Thus, it may be easy to understand why, when a letter did just that, Fluttershy was both startled and alarmed.
Thunk.
"Wh-wha?" Fluttershy said, rubbing her head. She looked down, and saw a piece of paper folded into a square lying on the ground below her. She glanced up--no, no pegasi in the sky--around--nopony who could've thrown anything that far--and then back down at the paper. At a loss, she picked up the square and unfolded it. As she did so, a large and relatively heavy rock fell out of the slip. Fluttershy rubbed her head again. Flattening out the paper, Fluttershy glanced over it.
Pinkie Pie has a crush on you.
Fluttershy blinked, and read the paper (the letter, she supposed. Or perhaps it was more of a note, considering it was only one sentence) again.
Pinkie Pie has a crush on you.
No, still didn't make any more sense.
+ + +
"...and it said, 'Pinkie Pie has a crush on you!'" Fluttershy finished.
"It said what?" Twilight asked.
"I was just as confused," Fluttershy said. "Especially since Pinkie and Rainbow have been, um, dating, well..."
"Almost as long as we have!" Twilight finished, looking up from the book she was reading.
"Um, yes," Fluttershy said. The two were in the Golden Oaks Library--Twilight sitting on a cushion reading a book, and Fluttershy standing a few paces back from her, having just arrived from the Ponyville market--where she had been before her trip was interrupted by the topic of conversation.
"What do you think we should do? Should we talk to Pinkie? Somepony might be spreading rumors about her! Oh, that would be just awful!" Fluttershy said.
Twilight's brow immediately furrowed, and she glanced back down at her book.
"Twilight?" Fluttershy said, looking at her marefriend.
"Oh--um, yes. I--I suppose we should talk to her. To Pinkie. About the note. Letter. Rumors. Is it hot in here?" Twilight said, using her book to fan herself hastily.
Fluttershy looked at her. "Twilight, did you write that note?"
"Well, I, um... You see... I... I have a crush on Pinkie Pie." Twilight blurted out, the words smashing together as they left her mouth.
Fluttershy opened her mouth, and then closed it, and then opened it again, and then said, "I have a crush on Rarity." She said it very slowly, in such a way that it sounded almost dream-like. Then her pupils contracted in terror, and she immediately fell to the floor, hiding behind her hair.
Twilight went through an emotional traffic wreck, going immediately from embarrassment at her admission to confusion at Fluttershy's reaction to further confusion at her words, and then finally to caring, seeing the state of her marefriend before her.
"Oh, Fluttershy... Um, don't worry," Twilight said, getting up and taking a few steps towards the cowering mare. "I'm not angry or anything. It would be kind of silly for me to be angry, seeing as I just said, well."
Fluttershy poked an eye out from under the pink mass of her hair. "I--I guess you're right. That would be kind of silly, wouldn't it?"
Twilight smiled at her. "Yeah, it would. But I think we have something to talk about, don't you?" Her voice grew softer, gentler. Fluttershy nodded, and slowly rose to her hooves.
+ + +
Pinkie snapped to attention.
"Huh? Who's there?" she said, blurring the words. She looked around the room--the back kitchen of Sugarcube Corner, where she was playing with the Cake Twins--searching for the source of the noise that was the cause of her distraction.
"Pinkie Pie! You back there?"
Oh! Twilight! Pinkie thought. "Yeah! I'm in the kitchen!" she called.
A couple seconds passed, and she went back to flying Pound around like an airplane. Soon enough, Twilight and Fluttershy trotted into the room, their hooves clicking on the wooden flooring.
"Oh, Twilight, she's busy, we should just go and never come back--" Fluttershy said, shrinking away.
"What? Never come back! Why would you never come back?" Pinkie said. "And anyway, I can play with Pound and Pumpkin and talk to you girls, too! Whatcha wanna talk about?"
"Oh. Well, um." Fluttershy stammered.
"Well, Fluttershy got this, um, note," Twilight said, "And we just had a bit of a talk, and then we thought, 'oh, we should go talk to Pinkie Pie!' So now we're here!"
Pinkie stopped juggling alphabet blocks--or, more accurately, the alphabet blocks froze in midair--and said, "Ohh, I see." She then resumed juggling.
Twilight looked from Pinkie, to Pound, to Fluttershy, to Pumpkin, back to Pinkie, back to Fluttershy, and the finally at the rest of the room, before settling on her hooves.
"Do... Do you wanna see the note?" Twilight said.
"Sure!" Pinkie replied, upside down. Twilight pulled it out and levitated it over to her, dropping it on the floor beneath her head. Open.
Pinkie looked down at it, and fell over.
The Cake Twins giggled.
Pinkie did not move.
"Oh gosh, Pinkie, are you alright?" Fluttershy said, rushing over to her friend. It was immediately evident that Pinkie was totally fine; however, she avoided Fluttershy's eyes, a nervous grin on her face. "Pinkie?"
Pinkie just grinned, her eyes darting around.
Then, in a blur of pink, she was gone, with nothing but a "Gotta go bye!" left behind.
That, and a note on the front desk to Mr. Cake saying that she was really really sorry but she couldn't watch the Twins for the rest of the afternoon after all.
"...well that could've gone better," Twilight said, her heart rate slowing. Fluttershy only nodded, still staring at the place where Pinkie had been. "Do you think we should go talk to Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy kept nodding. "Fluttershy?"
"Oh! Sorry. Yes, we... We should probably go talk to Rainbow."
+ + +
"Aww, Pinks, I'm sorry..." Dash said.
"But why did you tell her?" Pinkie said, hanging onto her words like a rope off a cliff.
"Well, I didn't, really, since I gave her a letter, but--"
"You told her," Pinkie said, smushing her face into Rainbow's.
"Yeah, alright, I told her. I just thought--it seemed like you really liked her, and Fluttershy's been one of my best friends for as long as I can remember--I dunno, it seemed like something might happen. I dunno what. I guess it was kind of a stupid idea, now that I'm thinking about it. But I really was just hoping to make you happier, Pinkie! I swear," Dash finished.
Pinkie harrumphed, doing a 180-turn. She harrumphed again, doing another 180-turn. On the third harrumph, and the third turn, Dash caught her by the shoulder and spun her back around. "Are you mad at me, Pinks?"
Pinkie smiled. "No! Not really. I know you were just trying to help. But I thought, since you broke your promise--even if it wasn't a Pinkie Promise--then I might as well at least pretend to be angry."
Dash smiled, letting out a sigh of relief.
"But now you have to help me talk to Fluttershy and Twilight! And you have to tell them about your crush on Applejack!" Pinkie said, giving Rainbow Dash a kiss on the cheek.
"My crush on-- How do you know about my crush on-- I-- Pinkie--" Dash stammered, blushing. Pinkie winked at her, and Dash gave up. "Alright, I'll tell th--"
"Rainbow Dash! We need to talk to you!" Twilight's voice sounded up to the top of the building upon which Dash and Pinkie were sitting. Dash grimaced. Pinkie smiled a big grin at her, walked over to the side of the roof, and hopped down to the ground.
Dash followed her, though she chose to use her wings rather than random outcroppings from the buildings beneath them.
"Hey, Twilight. Hey, Fluttershy. Whaddya want to talk about?" Dash said, landing in front of the two, as well as Pinkie--who, Dash realized, was looking incredibly nervous. And interestingly enough, looking across at Twilight, Rainbow saw the same nervousness playing across the unicorn's face as on Pinkie's--though much more well concealed. Twilight had opened her mouth to respond to the question, but Rainbow cut in before she could answer. "Whoa, no way! Twilight, you have a crush on Pinkie Pie?"
Twilight choked on the words she had been about to speak, and coughed loudly. Blushing, she said, "...maybe?"
Pinkie looked like she was about to fall over.
At that exact moment, Rarity and Applejack walked up to the group.
"Oh, hello, darlings!" Rarity said. "Are Applejack and I missing out on some lovely get together? Perhaps a double date? My, Applejack," Rarity said, nudging her partner, "we're being left behind! Simply dreadful behavior!"
"I'm... I'm not so sure that's it, Rare," Applejack said, assessing the situation before her. Dash staring at Pinkie, who was staring at Fluttershy, who was staring at Twilight, who was staring back at Pinkie... "May I ask what is?"
"I'm not honestly sure I know at this point, AJ," Twilight said.
Pinkie's leg twitched.
Then her eye.
Then her mane.
Then suddenly her entire body was in the air, every part of her going all over the place, moving crazily--almost impossibly. And then, with a pop, she stopped moving as suddenly as she had begun.
"A Doozy!" she cried. Everypony exchanged glances.
"...Twilight, how about you start," Rarity said.
"Aw, enough with the boring explanations," Rainbow said. She looked at Rarity. "Twilight has a crush on Pinkie Pie and Pinkie has a crush on Fluttershy." She turned to Applejack. "Say, AJ, do you have a crush on anypony?"
Applejack's lips formed a no, but her eyes flicked towards Twilight as the word left her mouth.
"Aw, please, I've heard that one before," Dash said, closing the distance between the two of them. She looked at Rarity again. "Oh, yeah, and I have a crush on Applejack." The last syllable left her mouth just in time for her lips to meet those in front of her.
Rainbow broke the kiss. Applejack looked vaguely stunned.
"Rainbow Dash, kiss my marefriend again!" Rarity cried, angrily.
The group went utterly silent.
"I-- Ha, ha-- I meant, ah..." Rarity looked around at the ponies surrounding her. "Oh, confound it. I may have... A... A bit of an infatuation with Rainbow Dash. Perhaps. Just a little?" Her voice squeaked.
Fluttershy fell over.
+ + +
"And that, little Sunlight, is how all of your mommies broke up and got back together on the same day!" Pinkie said, cradling the foal.
"Did we really break up?" Twilight mused.
"I didn't break up with anypony," Rainbow Dash said.
"Nor I," Rarity chimed in.
"I'd really rather we don't break up," Fluttershy said, walking in to the room.
"What's this now about breaking up? I married all of y'all, and the Apple family doesn't take kindly to divorce," Applejack said, following after her.
I’d like to say I can be forgiven for not knowing where the Ponyville graveyard is. The Everfree forest isn't exactly the first place one would look, after all.
I trot over to the funeral party, trying to make out who else has come. This was in the paper, after all. In fact, that's the only reason I'm here. As a Princess, I felt strangely compelled to make an appearance at all funerals. This... This is the first one.
Coming to a halt in front of the open grave, I'm surprised at how small the crowd is. It's really not a crowd at all. Aside from myself, I note a pale beige mare with a rose-red mane, a pink mare with a green mane, and a darker pink mare--their coat colors are much harder to tell apart in the somber light--with a yellow mane. The Flower sisters, of course. Beside them, a pink pony stands, crying her eyes out. Is that...
"...Pinkie Pie?" I say, my voice too loud. She sniffles and looks up.
"Twilight?" she says, sounding just as confused as I am. "I didn't know you knew Goldengrape."
"I..." I trail off, unsure of what to say. That I didn't know him? That I couldn't pick him out of a crowd? That I wasn't sure I really wanted to be here at all? "I just felt like I should come. To this," I finish lamely.
"Oh," Pinkie Pie says. She pats the ground next to her with a hoof. I walk over and sit down next to her. On my other side is Rose--she I recognize. One of the Flower sisters, so, Goldengrape's sister-in-law. The obituary told me that he and Daisy were married. That's about the extent of my knowledge.
The undertaker arrives after a time, asking if we're expecting anyone else. We aren't. Together we help her lower the coffin--which I have been trying not to look at--into its grave. Such a difficult tradition for an Earth pony to devise. Almost a cruel one.
It's after the lowering that the sisters really break down. Daisy is incomprehensible, and her sisters aren't much better. Rose turns to me, sputtering, and says, "I'd just like to thank you, Princess, for being here. It means the world to us. I'm sure it would've meant the world to Grape, too. He always respected the Princesses so much, and you, too! After your coronation he never stopped talking about how amazing it was to have a Princess of Equestria in little Ponyville. And it's true! It's really true." She seems to be babbling, so I let her. I zone out and miss part of what she's saying, but my attention is caught when her voice quiets. "...and don't you know, Princess, he said to me, the very last he said to me, the very last thing he said... He said, 'Tell Daisy I love her.' Can you believe that? Even at the end of his life he never stopped thinking of my sister-"
"Wait, go back," I say. I missed something there, something important. Rose looks at me, confused. I quail under that look and let the moment pass. We stand around the grave together as the undertaker fills it with earth, and eventually the ceremony is over. We walk together, all six of us, out of the graveyard and go our separate ways. Pinkie Pie and I stick together as we near Ponyville proper. Something still seems wrong to me about that last moment, about Rose hearing Goldengrape's last words...
"Goldengrape died alone!" I say, practically yelling it. Pinkie stares at me in confusion and shock. "Oh, sorry, Pinkie. But I just realized... Didn't the paper say Goldengrape died alone? That he fell down the stairs? I remember seeing the article when it happened." She's still looking at me, not understanding what I'm saying. "Rose told me she heard his last words. How? No one was around when he died." I can see the words finally register in her brain, and Pinkie's face contorts further in confusion.
"I dunno, Twilight. That's a really good question. Maybe Rose was just making things up?" Pinkie says.
"But why would she do that? Why would she make up somepony's last words? Just a bit grim, don't you think?" I say, my words taking on more bite than I intended.
Pinkie looks at me again, not responding. The silence stretches out, and we come to a halt.