• Published 31st Aug 2013
  • 611 Views, 2 Comments

Varia Visive - journcy

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What What (Random)

"Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity..." the all-knowing Fausticorn uttered, sounding unsure.

"What should the other two be, though? Ugh. Oh! I know," the all-knowing Fausticorn said, "I'll check Wikipedia."

A couple minutes later, the all-knowing Fausticorn was staring at Wikipedia's list of virtues. "Ooh, Laughter, I like that one...and...Ah-ha! I've got it!" the all-knowing Fausticorn cried.

"Thrift!"

+ + +

"Twilight, why are we still looking through these old books?" Spike said.

"Spikezilla, I told you man, I gotta find some swaggy old books to make some sick book boxes out of. The Princess told me to!" Twilight responded.

The two were standing in one of the darkened rows of a store possibly older than its already ancient wares, pulling books off the shelves around them.

"Ooh, what's this?" she said, picking up an old story book. "Tales of Equestria, huh?"

+ + +

"Yo, my mom never told me about any Nightmare Moon," Twilight cried, having just finished reading the whole book. "And, like, I'm remembering all kinds of stuff about this! It seems pretty legit, actch. Maybe we should, like, tell Princess Celestia?"

"Oh, that's it," Spike grumbled. "I'm drawing the line at... 'actch.'"

"Wazzat, Spikezilla?"

"And don't call me Spikezilla."

+ + +

"Blaze it up, Spikezoid!" Twilight cried. Spike put a claw to his face, and blew flames through his short fingers, burning up the scroll he had just finished writing at Twilight's behest. "I'm sure that Prinrad Celestiawesome will totally get back to us speedier than a-" Twilight was interrupted by Spike burping out another scroll.

"Wow, I didn't even get to finish my sweet comparison."

+ + +

"No, but seriously, why of all the possible things Celessytia could've told us to do, would she send us off to this swagless podunk dunkery of a town?" Twilight exclaimed to Spike.

"She probably just wanted to get you out of Canterlot," Spike said. The chariot they were flying down to Ponyville in finally landed, and they got out, Twilight flashing a gang sign at the guards pulling it.

"Ha! Sick burn, my flamester man! I guess you spit fires in more ways than one," Twilight said, laughing. Spike merely furrowed his nonexistent eyebrows further.

Stepping out of the road, Twilight immediately found herself nose-to-nose with the pinkest pony she had ever seen.

"Daaaaaang, gurl!" Twilight said. "My mind cannot handle your massive display of immensely perturbing pastel pigments!"

The pink pony merely gasped, and sped off.

"#SwagYOLO2013!" Twilight cried after her, waving a hoof.

+ + +

"So I guess we're supposed to go talk to all the ponies up and around in this hood, make sure that this here swiggity festival or whatevs is goin' down in appropriate fashion?" Twilight said to Spike. He didn't seem to hear her. "Well, here we got this gnarly farm, so I guess we're on our way."

Sure enough, she ran into an orange mare soon after stepping onto farm property.

"Well, howdy!" the mare said, smiling. "And who might you be?"

"Twiswag."

"Uh... Pardon?"

Twilight suddenly began laughing mirthfully. "Nah, nah, my name's Twilight, girl. I'm here to check up, on, like, the food. Or something."

"...Oh! Well, I can tell ya', we've got a lot of it! My name's Applejack," Applejack said.

"Fancy-fine! Can I take a munch?"

+ + +

"Dang, that was good... Didn't ya think, Spikeberg?" Twilight said. She had eaten everything Applejack and her family had thrown at her.

"I wouldn't know," Spike said. "I didn't get to try any of it."

"Aw, don't feel bad, little man," Twilight said. "I guess you can catch a bite later tonight at the-" She was cut off by the sudden jamming of a pegasus into her groove. She thought.

"Yoooo, what's up and down?" Twilight said, head spinning.

"Heh! Sorry," a sandy voice sounded. "Lemme help you out with that."

Suddenly Twilight was surrounded with a whirlwind of flying blue pony. The mud and wet she had accumulated in her mane from the crash was whipped out by the sheer windforce.

Coming to a screeching halt, the blue pegasus said, "Name's Rainbow Dash."

Twilight stared up at her, awestruck.

"You... Gurl... Your mane... Is. RAINBOWS."

"Isn't it great?" Rainbow Dash said.

"Aww yeah it is! Tell me (as it is clear that a fine mare such as yourself should know such thangs), any other hotties besides yourself in town?" Twilight said. Spike sighed deeply.

Rainbow Dash thought about that for a moment. "Yeah, actually. Rarity's probably the sweetest look in town, even if she IS a bit of a prude."

"Let's move," Twilight said.

+ + +

Opening the door to the town hall, Twilight trotted in, Rainbow Dash and Spike following. Catching sight of the mare hanging decorations, Twilight was even more totally stunned than when she had first observed the sick strands of Dash's mane.

"Sheeeeeeeeeeeee-"

"-yet!" Spike finished, joining his friend and sister in her admiration of the mighty fine female before them.

[Time]

"Oh, hello!" The pony called. They both sat completely still. Rainbow glanced down at them, shrugged, and flew over to Rarity.

"Hey, Rares. This is Twilight," she said.

"Oh? And what brings you to town? I don't believe I've seen you before," Rarity said.

Twilight fell over.

+ + +

"Oh, dear... Um... I don't know why you brought her to me, I..."

"Because, Fluttershy! She just collapsed! I dunno, I guess I panicked!" That was Rainbow Dash, Twilight could tell.

"Well, she seems to be coming to, in any case." Rarity, now.

"Oh- um- oh my- oh-" The new pony-Fluttershy?-went silent.

Suddenly, the door (Twilight thought it sounded like a door) was blown open, and a massive noisemaker rang throughout... Wherever it was they were.

Twilight heard the sound of a pony hitting the ground, and then, "Oh, no! Fluttershy..."

Suddenly, Twilight remembered that there was some stuff she was supposed to be doing. Like, making sure the preparations for the whatever-festival were going alright? Man, kinda screwed that one up. And wasn't there some evil god that was gonna be reappearing?

"Eh, can't be that important," Twilight said to herself. "I got too much swag for this anyway."

+ + +

Coming to from the fantasy vision, the all-knowing Fausticorn shook her head in fear.

She turned back to the Wikipedia page.

Author's Note:

I am so, so, so sorry.