Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Rarity Takes Manehattan
Dear Diary,
Fuck yes, field trip! Time to get out of this hellhole again! Apparently, Applejack isn't the only one trying to take advantage of MY slave labor. Rarity, I'll tell you the same thing I told her: get your own dragon.
So once we get into the city, our song somehow overtakes all of the hustle and bustle of the city. It really surprised us that Rarity had put Opal in the cutie mark business. Applejack can also apparently double as an apple jack. And you would think that a Princess of Equestria could get a cab when she needed one, but no. Rarity races off to meet and size up the competition, and by size up, I mean help one of them by giving them her one-of-a-kind fabric. Sometimes, she can really, really fail at being the superior race.
But then she started to redeem herself. She had made a sweatshop out of us in no less than 15 minutes. Quite impressive. Just wait until she expands to illegal immigrants and gains some weight. But I thought Fluttershy had a "freaky knowledge of sewin". If so, way to fuck up the machine. Eh, who knows, maybe she got distracted by an apple or something.
With her brand new fashion line, Rarity set off, while we proceeded to miss the musical we were dying to see, Avenue Q. After she notices we were missing from the show, she comes to her senses, and comes back to the hotel. By the way, way to be brutally honest, AJ. So she got us an exclusive showing of Avenue Q. I just wish Coco hadn't showed up at the end. It would have been nice to have her out of Ponyville for awhile, making it a bit more tolerable. But no, Rarity had to offer her the job.
And Rarity won that contest? Seriously?
Just goes to show that anypony can steal hotel items, but only she can make it look fabulous.
-Twilight
Dear Diary,
Are you sure Suri doesn't have a horn hidden away somewhere? Damn, what a bitch.
-Applejack
Dear Rarity,
Thanks again. I got you a little something. It's a spool of thread, that's a nice and proper thank you for such an incredible career-changing opportunity, right?
Sincerely,
Coco Pommel
Dear Coco Pommel,
Well, honesty's not my element, so I'm going to say yes.
Sincerely,
Rarity
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Fuck Suri with a bronze plated dildo
Kind of an accurate summary of the episode though. Not one of the best.
my headcanon is that Suri is actually Diamond Tiara's mother, and she and Filthy are divorced.
Think about it. It makes SO much sense, and the coloration is appropriate as well.
Fimfiction you're slipping, this didn't end up in my unread favourites either. Not impressed, only noticed it updated because it was in the featured box.
3739808 YES!!! That so works! XD
3739768
No it really isn't one of the best episodes. But then again that just makes it all the more ironic.
The 8th episode of season 4 is Rarity Takes Manehattan.
The 8th movie of the Friday the 13th series is Jason Takes Manhattan.
Neither one of them is regarded as the best entries to the series.
"Freaky knowledge of sewing" may apply only to thread and needle, not sewing machines. Consult your doctor before using "freaky knowledge of sewing."
Also, a plot device is definitely worth a life-changing career opportunity.
Hah! Brilliant.
Remarks and corrections:
> "freaky knowledge of sewin"
Think you forgot a 'g' at the end of "sewing". If, as JimboTex pointed out, this is supposed to be cut off because of AJ's way of speaking, it should still be <sewin'>, ending on an apostrophe to indicate the cutoff.
> for awhile
The only reason spellcheckers don't complain about "awhile" is because it's an archaic word meaning "for a while". Which means that you just wrote "for for a while".
Rule of thumb: always write "a while" as two words. Always.
Everyone was thinking it.
3739808
Or she's Diamond's sister.
3739808
Holy Broly Guacamoly, I can already see the fanfics incoming But you've got a point, take my like, sir
3739832 Yeah, is it just me, or do MLP's storylines seem to be declining in quality?
3739900
Hell, any one of the Elements of FuckMothering Harmony should have been able to get a cab. Though I don't know why getting a cab pulled by a pony is faster than an unladen pony just running there or taking the Rainbow Dash express....
What? No
Dear Diary,
Applejack is also a car jack.
dat reference
I get it.
3739970 Depends. I for one didn't care for Power Ponies or Bats, but this one I really enjoyed.
3740375 Power Ponies was cliché all around, but I thought Flutterbat was pretty adorable (I just can't get over how prejudiced AJ can be sometimes; it kinda irks me). The new episode was cliché as well, but not to the Power Ponies extent. I saw Rarity's success coming from a mile away... but... was the plagiarist ever caught? I don't think I caught that part if it ever happened. If she was, I wouldn't be surprised.
I never understood why Rainbow Dash didn't offer to fly Rarity there, or Twilight at least teleport both of them. and the dresses, I'm pretty sure Twi could have just teleported with them to Rarity. oh well.
and yes, Twilight hates sharing her slave labor. I mean why should Rarity even borrow Spike, she has her immigrant "relatives" to play silly pretend games with.
3739808
but erm, isn't Suri I bit too young to be DT's mother? I mean, she did say she was in that sewing club thing with Rarity and they seemed to have been "acquaintances" and Filthy Rich seems a lot older than any of the Mane 6 and Suri, even if Suri is a bit older than Rarity he still seems too old for her.
But if I'm wrong about the age difference, it's a possibility. Given Suri's attitude I can see her dumping Diamond Tiara on Filthy. She wouldn't want to have a kid to take care of, and weigh her down.
3739815
Same, and I realized only because yesterday was Saturday and made me think of it.
3740533 dear god were screwed!!!
Don't let that stop you Applejack. As my friend Joe would say:
3739832 And here I'm sure everyone thought they chose the episode title based on "Muppets Take Manhattan".
Dear Rarity:
I'm sending you a couple things you forgot from your hotel room. Most important is this bill for $5000 worth of hotel fabric and keys you stole for your new fashion line
Your favorite fashion connoisseur, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: You gave your prized, one-of-a-kind fabric to an earth pony?! Jeez, this is why we alicorns are the true master race (speaking of which, please tell Twilight that she's a disgrace to the alicorn race for not doing shit to get you a cab... or flying you there... or even fucking teleporting!!!)
3740480
Dash didn't bother to offer to fly her there because Rarity would have declined anyhow on the grounds that it would muss her hair. Twilight didn't offer to teleport her because Twilight can't teleport places she's never been.
3739815 I know, right? It was in my feed and I got the e-mail about it, but out of the 5 fics I'm tracking that updated today, THIS ONE is the only one that didn't show up!
3741077 why thank you.
Glad someone else noticed Fluttershy's sudden lack of sewing skills.
3740966
While that is very true, Dash still could have offered. I mean, they were literally out of options. Now I'm not holding it against the episode, it's just something I wondered while I watched it through the first time.
And as for Twilight, it's strange really I'm usually one of those who defends her when this is brought up but, where has that been stated? She's teleported a lot of places, and if the mane 6 were able to get to the hotel and tell the guy to rush her dresses to where the contest was on time, I'm guessing the hotel wasn't too far. So, why not teleport to the hotel then and make her run to the competition a lot shorter? Yeah, I know, we don't know if the hotel was really that close, but how do we know Twilight can't teleport where she hasn't been? It's never been stated in canon. In Dragon Quest she was able to teleport herself and 3 others to a different part of the woods where the dragons couldn't catch up to them, she very well could not have been to that spot she took them to.
Like I said, I usually defend Twilight in cases like these, (like when people asked why she didn't teleport to Luna in Magic Duel) since it never really bothered me on the first watch but idk, it just struck me as odd. I probably sound a little jerkish, sorry. It's not like it "ruins" the episode, I liked how they resolved it. It just, I suppose, irked me.
3739896
I think he wrote it the way he did because Twilight was quoting Applejack.
3741640
I assume Dash knew Rarity well enough to know the offer wouldn't be accepted, so refrained. As for Twilight, "only places she's been before or otherwise knows well" seems to work with what she's shown in the show. If she could teleport at will anywhere, she could have teleported inside Rarity's bedroom, for example, when they were trying to make her cheer up, things like that. Maybe that's not the rule, but it does seem to work as an approximation of it so far.
3739987
Better yet, why did no one think to just have Twilight teleport them?
3741801
Hmmm, point noted...
And yeah, I do see that. That's usually what I think.
But I have to ask, what time are you thinking about? The time where Rarity has that meltdown after the ugly dress incident? Twilight had been in Rarity's house and room before, so that doesn't exactly work, I assume they didn't go in because they'd be invading Rarity's privacy and she did want to be alone. They wanted to cheer her up so they did it a different way.
Anywho, true it correlates with what the show has shown us so far; I'll roll with it. I have before, like I said I don't really know why it bothered me this time around. I like to think perhaps she can't/doesn't teleport long distances because its dangerous; she wouldn't know exactly where she'd end up and could accidentally teleport herself inside a wall or something equally as bad.
This is an awesome, underrated Fic, good job so far!
3742010 how is this fic underrated?
It would have been kinda funny to see Coco win and then be unable to make any more dresses in her new line as she can't get more fabric.
3742886 Coco wasn't competing.
3741787 Then it'd still need to be <sewin'>, with an apostrophe to indicate the cutoff
3741914 A republic has no predetermined leaders. So the very idea of creating a republic with the goal of getting Luna as ruler is completely paradoxical
There are at least 4 probably more reviews of this episode and this wonderful update can wipe the floor with them.
3741919
She's too lazy and selfish for that. If she can't use her fame to get what she wants, she wouldn't bother to help.
3745325 Then... Human-y
3741375 She's a master of extreme knitting, not sewing. Different skillset.
3741927 Teleportation is a tricky ability for a writer to deal with, specially when it's the protagonist who can do it. In storywriting the journey is usually much more interesting than the destination, so having the main character being able to skip it altogether at will can make for some really boring stories, which is why it usually is very limited to keep it in check.
As far as I can gather from the series, "blinking" a short distance must be difficult to learn but easy to cast once mastered, since only Twilight and Suset have been shown capable of pulling it off but do it effortlessly. Full-fledged teleportation, on the other hand, is both a complex and exhausting spell to cast, requiring concentration and focus, specially if teleporting multiple ponies. It also seems quite limited in range (middle of the Everfree to Ponyville outskirts is valid. Ponyville to Canterlot is not) and indeed Twilight has never teleported anywhere she wouldn't have reasonably visited before. Teleportation doesn't seem to be a spell to be cast lightly, which would explain why Twilight walks everywhere.
3740421 Of course Power Ponies is clichéd! That's pretty much the point. It gathers every cliché it can get away with from the Silver Age and runs away with it with reckless abandon, and that's precisely why I enjoyed it so much
3746799
I've never seen her do anything with any range (what you call true teleporting), only 'blinks'. What weighs more is that I don't recall her teleporting anything other than herself (and what she was carrying?). So unless she could cast it while holding Rarity, it wouldn't do much good.
I think that covers it.
Rarity, thank you for that closing line.
3747255 She's done it at least twice. In "Ticket Master" (18:10 mark) she teleports herself and spike from somewhere in Ponyvile to her library. It takes her some effort and leaves her disoriented and Spike singed, but she teleported somewhere she had no clear line of sight to and quite possibly half across town. Much later, in "Dragon Quest" (20:25 mark) she teleports Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Spike, a phoenix egg and herself from the middle of nowhere to the edge of the Everfree Forest. Such a display of arcane prowess is so taxing that the spell actually fizzles out the first time she tries, but fortunately almost two entire seasons of practice had allowed her to iron out the spell's nastier side-effects. She may have done it some other time, but those two are the ones I remember off the top of my head.
3747351
OK, good to know.
Hilarious, all around.
Love this one! Just fantastic! Great parody for the greatest episode of the entire season and second greatest Rarity episode!
There's even a DRESS.MOV reference!
Use the Vortex on Suri. Seriously, just use the freakin' Vortex. I mean, you technically can from a legal standpoint so just do it. She like totally deserves it.
Well, if said princess would fucking wear her crown this wouldn't have happened
3754246 You'd think the wings + horn combo would be a dead giveaway.