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The changlings have taken over and all hope is long as none is left to stand against them. But in another world there is still one unicorn left. With the help of her old teacher's pet, Sunset must become the hero she always meant to be.
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You have my interest. That is usually a good thing.
Interesting concept you have here. I will be tracking to see how this goes.
Gotta say, this is pretty clever. Tell me, is this set before or after the original Equestria Girls?
Liking this. I love how this is breaking the hero/magical girl theme and how Sunset is a rebel like the first movie.
The real question is will Sunset reform here like she did in the first movie or will she stay being a jerk?
So Sunset doomed her old world and teacher for a grudge. Great job there, Sunset. I don't think I can read a story with that premise, no matter what happens on the EQG side.
Great chapter it is good to see Sunset actually getting professional help in this setting. Looking forward to the next chapter!
For ideas the restrictions make it difficult because of all the good magic and magical girl series out there but what about Gonna be the Twin-Tail? It is a Senti spoof with a little universe hopping put in. It is a very toung in cheek style with how occasionally crazy it gets.
Another idea is Go Lion (what became in America known as Lion Voltron)? That show does have some "magic" in it but could be explained away.
it looks to be a good fic ill get back to this when it gets more chaps
Could I suggest something? You are moving at a fast pace here with Sunset and she went from being a jerk to suddenly depressed all most in the span of a few paragraphs a few chapters back. It would help if you focused on not only her psychological help but also any training she is receiving to help her learn to fight. It sounds like she has had some between this chapter and the previous chapter but it would help to show her actually going through it.
All i can say is what
Excellent chapter.
yes new chapter, waiting for the magical girl battles though, nice to know that some of the ponies have escaped chrysalis. also I have to agree with Trixie's assessment of the wonder colts, they really are next to useless in cannon having become little more then show ponies. Also outside of being a little spoiled and a jerk Trixie is a pretty great ruler all things considered, though perhaps its because even with the amulet she's aware of how dire the situation is.
by the way I like that ending there , I really do wonder what kind of role Discord is going to have in this story and I look forward to finding out. between the promise of magical girl battles, epic fantasy world armies, and the possibility of these two interconnecting it really does phyc me up for what ever may come next.
A quick nitpick but right after Discord gives the school powers the dialogue gets a little clunky and there seems to be several either orphan sentences or a plot line got edited and these got missed. Otherwise good chapter and it will be interesting to see how this all shapes up.
Nice chapter as always. One question thought how many are there that will have the magical power activate and still dormant.
haven't decided yet
im going to track this
Radiant Hope from Cristall Empire (FIENDship is Magic Issue 1), friend of Sombra. This talent is rare and healers usually ends up as student to one of the immortal princesses, which leads to thoughts that it is more "priestly" (or "divine" as it commonly called) magic compared to normal "arcane" magic of unicorn wizards, but it exist. Also we have "druids" Fluttershy and Tree Hugger with powers to infict certain degree of control on animals (and possibly plants in Tree Hugger's case).
So while healers are rare, they do exist. I can perfectly imagine one normal hospitals in each pony city with teams of doctors like shown in Read it and Weep episode and one team of healers accompanied by teleporters in Canterlot that will jump where they are needed in truly hard cases. Also love domain is quite close to life domain, so that is possible that Cadence is quite powerfull healer.
Seems like a good story. Do you need a beta reader or an editor? Could help clean up any grammar and spelling errors in the story.
Dude this basically just became one piece and I LOVE IT.
(half joking) Well. That didn't last long. Wait, oh yeah! there are more chapters.
i'd say that they're more like pony-like bugs, but whatever.
ahem. Bearded?
Ooh! a Gen 1 reference!
pre11.deviantart.net/56fa/th/pre/i/2014/026/0/c/megan_williams_character_sheet_by_starbat-d6jr47a.jpg
okay, just for that you get an extra
on your final score.
OMC! You made a reference to Mona the Vampire AND H20 Just Add Water!? Okay, that gives you 2 extra
s just for that.
on a side note, if you need a proof reader, PM me.
Leave it to Sunset to be genre-savvy.
How do they know about Sunset destroying the elements!?
Watching the news on tv and what's online.
Gamer Discord? Hmm, I like the sound of that.
Ну, ты и писатель.
[I know it's a tried old plot but that's the best idea I had to get them to spend time with each other.]
If it aint broke, don't fix it.
That true for the last two bits you mentioned?
witing for the next chapter of sunsets herd and nice work.,
I love this story. There never is a dull moment with you or your stories. I hope they can save tomoko.
1 - You're right. Discord's brand of chaos is very funny, that is one of the reasons why be's one of my top 5 favorite MLP characters. However, I don't like the mind control thingy he did with the Main 6 on Season 2 premiere. But aside that, he's a very funny and interesting guy to have around.
2 - Loved the song. But maybe a little too long for an Op... Also, thanks for the recap. But please, refrain from doing it very often. There are already many chapters that you keep retelling the Magic user's weapons and powers, while remembering all that is difficult, I believe that a recap should only be used if a story go on a hiatus for too long.
3 - Poor Sunset. I know that she have issues to Deal with and I doubt she will recover very fast, but maybe a bit of progress? I mean, Sunset now have people that at least care about her well being and some friends, not sure if we can call them loved ones or something deeper, so... Maybe she could take another baby step? Just wishful thinking.
In the lawful-chaos spectrum, I'd hafta say that ponies lean towards law while humans have a strong affinity for chaos.
6486182
Get fucked asshat.
[Politicians using magic user as a way to get more votes and power would happen. And is never really address in magical girl anime or manga.]
True on both accounts.
[Or till we figure out how to open a portal to Equestria and go on the offense]
I like this guy.
Awesome....
uh most magical girl anime deal with the emotional side of things you know hell sailor moon the thing that put down all the tropes focused hard on the emotional trauma of allt his
Men I can't wait to see how Tomoko is going to turn out
Is there hope of updating?
uh im an very confused
this fic is just all over the place and the cross overs make it hard to know whats going on multicross over stories always have this issue
Reminds me of Girrrl Power web comic, The team leader of the goverment super pwoer group said the same tihing.
Unlike the comics or super hero movies, huge battleswith energy blasts and attacks would result in innocent bystanders being killed.
So they try to make sure to end the fight as quick as possible, and evactate innocent bystanders as fast as possible, or make sure the fight took place away from populated areas.
Plz have Sunset smack the princess
So this is a crossover like the Battle Fantasia Project with Sunset revealing the exitence of magic to the world without any other anime magical girls? I Like it.
Also from your notes I deduce that Chrysalis in this fic has read the Evil Overlord/ Empress Lists.
EDIT: I was wrong. It seems that you have created your own magical sistem and you are going for the real world consequences of beeng a magical girl.
So far I like your approach. I have only a few nip-tick, precisely two:
as someone else has already said you have repeated too often what powers and what weapons each magical user has.
Second you don't use a consistent method to name your characters. Same have Equestrian names like in Equestria Girls others have real world names. You shouls choose one of the two in my opinion.
There’re never a kritzkrieg either.
Sunset being the last unicorn capable of doing anything due to events in Equestria and her being on the other side of the mirror is an extremely interesting concept we need to see more of.
Interesting song