It was as if the desert had lost its grip on their hearts, and with it, its grip on their wagon. They traveled swiftly and smoothly across the dunes without further impediment. As the sand began to transition to grass a few days later, Willow drew the wagon to a halt and everyone lent some assistance getting the wheels to actually look like wheels. Better equipped for rolling along the firmer ground, they pushed on.
The next day showed true evidence that the desert was behind them. They came across a tiny pond, an oasis of clear water that the camels eagerly refueled at and the younger members of the party splashed in. They continued forward, approaching a vast-looking jungle. Willow gestured at it. "The town we're looking for is practically in the middle of that. We resupply there, then continue onwards. Be wary, the jungle itself isn't likely to kill us, but what lives in it is quite hungry, and we're unfortunately delicious. The wagon's going to have a hard time here, so everyone out. We'll be shoving it as often as it could provide any kind of ride."
There was grumbling, but everyone walked alongside the wagon. True to her word, the wagon often got its wheels stuck on roots or lodged in small holes, but with their combined might they nudged it along. "Funny thing about this place. They've tried to clear out trails a few times, but they never stuck. Might explain why this place never grew into a proper city despite being part of a significant caravan path." Willow jabbed a hanging vine with a spear and nudged it out of the way. "We're doing well so far."
Their good fortune ran dry a day into the ever-thickening jungle. Applejack was at the fore, trying to clear the way for the wagon when a low growl got her head to turn just in time to be jumped on by a great striped beast. The tiger drove all four of its clawed paws against her as its teeth sunk into her shoulder painfully. Her armor repelled some of those claws, but she gave a surprised yelp as the others carved several jagged lines into her flesh.
Apple Bloom cringed at the tiger that reminded her of a chimera she had run into once. Scootaloo rushed forward on spread wings, drawing her rapier along the way to jab the tiger in one of its legs. It howled in pain and dropped to the ground, facing Scootaloo with ill intent. Willow waved at it and a hole opened to swallow it, but the cat nimbly jumped away from the forming hole with the dexterity felines were known for.
Sweetie rushed forward, putting Applejack between herself and the beast and mending some of her wounds with a quick song-spell. Applejack afforded a quick nod of thanks before edging towards the tiger around the hole. "Ya big varmint. That ain't how we say howdy where ah come from."
With the element of surprise gone, the tiger proved unwilling to press the battle, and darted back into the thick underbrush, quickly lost to sight. Scootaloo sheathed her rapier away and grinned. "Easy."
Willow nodded as she sank back to her seat. "They come in larger varieties, not as easily cowed. Little Bell, see to her wounds. The jungle is thick with exotic diseases."
Sweetie Belle squeaked and quickly poured the remainder of her song magic into Applejack to close up the claw wounds. Applejack put a hoof to her head, ruffling lightly. "Much obliged. Let's try ta keep an eye out for any other 'friendly' wildlife."
Perhaps their luck had not quite yet run dry, as night approached without further attack. They retreated into the wagon and bedded down for the evening. Sunflower chewed at some dried rations with a thoughtful expression. He asked how long until they got to the city, but there were no good answers to be had aside from 'soon' and 'a few days', which felt very much like not soon.
They pressed onwards the next day, though it was hard to tell day from night under the thick canopy of the looming trees at all angles. For a jungle, it was surprisingly firm under hoof and paw, though it lived up to the expectations of rain. A storm began and didn't let up, raining down on them in torrents. The rain was equally as good at making the travelers miserable as it was keeping most of the local wildlife away, and they eventually arrived in the town of Everrain.
The jungle ended abruptly, allowing them to see a sleepy, isolated town of no more than two thousand souls. On the west side of the town, resting on a hill, was a dour-looking stone building. To the east the rest of the buildings looked a bit more cheerful, with lights coming from inside windows. Willow shook herself free of water. "Welcome to Everrain. Not much to look at, but they have supplies and a tavern, and I plan to enjoy both." She clucked her tongue. "Come on, we've earned a little rest."
As they pressed into the city, they saw most of the inhabitants were earth ponies, with the occasional unicorn. There were no pegasi. A dwarf broke the sea of pony bodies. He approached them, stroking his magnificent beard along the way. "Hoi, welcome to Everrain. I'm afraid you have poor timing."
Applejack raised a brow. "Well howdy there. Whattaya mean by that?"
He gestured low towards the ground. "The earth's especially hungry of late, swallowed two people back-to-back. Some are crying foul play." He spat on the ground. "I expect they got too close to the jungle, but it's on my beard to find that out. Where ya headed?"
Willow spoke firmly from atop the wagon, "We're looking for hot food, trail rations, and a bed free of fleas."
"Oh aye, we got that." The dwarf pointed up the way. "Just on the left side there. They got a stable for yer camels too. You may want to trade out for some regular type horses while you're here if you're heading north or west."
Apple Bloom approached the dwarf. "'scuse me, mister? Whattaya mean 'swallowed'?"
He snorted powerfully. "I mean they're missing. It happens sometimes. Usually one at a time, but two isn't that uncommon. Just mind your manners, lest some damn fool decide you're somehow behind it."
Sweetie tilted her head. "How could we do it? We just got here."
He threw up his hands in exasperation. "I never said the people of this town made any sense. Anyway, the name's Hal Roughbeard, of the Roughbeards. I'm the deputy of this town, so if anyone tries to stir up trouble, you look for me and I'll give them a good whallopin' if they deserve it."
Names were exchanged and hands shaken with hooves and paws. Soon the party arrived at the tavern. 'Last Hope' it was called. As promised, there was a stable to park the camels and wagon, and they proceeded inside. A performer plucked lightly at a guitar despite his hooves, playing a lively little tune. The food smelled good, and the air was warm and dry. Everyone relaxed as they gathered around one of the larger tables and had a seat.
Sunflower put his paws on the table. "We made it."
Sweetie Belle corrected him with a lifted hoof. "So far. Plenty more to go, right?"
Willow and Applejack nodded at this. A waitress arrived, a unicorn levitating a pad of parchment. "Hello there, strangers! What can I get for the lot of ya?"
Orders were soon placed, and they began to chat easily with warm food and good drink available. Applejack opted against getting in the habit of feeding the smaller ones strong stuff, so they had a local fruit concoction that was sweet enough to quell any arguments and was free of alcohol.
Applejack looked towards Willow. "How long do ya reckon before we arrive in Viljatown?" She couldn't identify what vegetables were used in the making of her meal, but it was filling and delicious, so she didn't pry too hard.
Willow produced the map and unfurled it carefully. "We could go west through the jungle, but I'm thinking we should go north and get out of it as soon as possible, and skirt along its edge. Our next step is Galloping Dam. That place is much closer to what I'd call 'civilization'. As for Viljatown, hmm... We're at least a week out, at best, likely longer. When we arrive in Galloping Dam, we can get a boat going downstream to the rail station, and take the train the rest of the way. That should be the easiest part of the journey. It wouldn't be an option if we were actually carrying trade goods, but we're not. I agree with that dwarf." She gestured to the door. "We should trade out the camels. There's no desert in front of us."
Apple Bloom quickly nodded. "Makes sense ta me. Ah agree about getting outta this here jungle quick as possible. What's past it?"
Willow indicated northerly. "Rolling grasslands. The wagon will roll easily, and we'll see trouble coming before it's already leaping at our faces. We'll be able to travel during the day for a change of pace."
Sunflower looked thoughtful a moment. "I think I remember this part. We should be careful for centaurs."
Willow shook her head. "Close. The centaurs are mostly past Galloping Dam."
"Centaurs?" Applejack raised a brow. "What're those?"
Willow pointed at Applejack. "Equines. Horses, with the neck and head replaced with the torso of a man."
Scootaloo looked confused. "Sounds a little like Soft Mane?"
Sweetie stuck out her tongue. "Silly Scoots, Soft Mane was half pony, not half horse, and she wasn't on the front part either, she was right down the middle."
Willow nodded with understanding. "They are not satyr. I forgot that you had traveled with one. Centaurs are much larger, and they are not the result of ponies and humans finding love. Their origins are a bit murky, come to think of it."
Apple Bloom waved a hoof. "So, are they mean? Ah reckon if they're half horse, we can get along alright?"
"Perhaps." Willow considered. "I haven't heard rumors of them attacking unprovoked. Be polite if we run into one, and they should return the favor. Just remember, they consider the plains to be their lands and none other. Don't question this."
"Excuse me." A new voice drew their attention to an earth pony stallion dressed in simple attire. He smiled at them with a hopeful expression. "Sorry to interrupt, but I was hoping you could help me. You're dressed as adventurers. Are you for hire?"
Scootaloo raised a hoof quickly. "What do you need done?!"
Applejack frowned at her before clearing her throat. "Ahem, why do ya ask? We're mostly just passing through, if ya know what ah mean."
The new pony pointed westwards. "My friend went to Restful Oak and never came back. I'm worried about him. He was just having a little sleeping trouble and they said they could help him, but he's just... gone."
Apple Bloom tilted her head a little. "Was he, uh, swallowed, like the deputy said?"
He scowled. "Don't even joke about that! Please, can you help me?" His voice became desperate as he brought his forehooves together, begging.
Sunflower looked to the others, then to his mother. "Do you know what the Restful Oak is?"
The pony was quick to answer that. "It's the local sanitarium, for the healing of minds, or so they say. You must have seen it on the way in? Big stone building on the west side of town? Please, you're the only ones that could save him if he's in trouble. Maybe it's nothing, but they won't talk to me anymore." He pulled a pouch out of a pocket with his snout and threw it on the table with the heavy jingle of coins. "It's yours if you go."
I immediately like Hal. I'm a sucker for gruff dwarves, especially ones whose beards practically qualify as characters in their own right.
As for the centaurs, I just hope they don't bring Tirek to mind for the ponies. Granted, they won't have horns or ape faces, but still, nothing disrupts diplomacy like being reminded of one of the more recent ancient evils you fought.
Of course, before that, the party has a possible side quest or two. There's something to be said for expediency, but helping those is need is its own reward, even when it comes with more tangible ones.
There needs to be a period after "impediment."
They approached a "vast-looking" jungle.
I'm going to say that "erred" should be "opted."
There are two spaces between "came" and "back."
5950866 Fixed! Thanks for the edit.
5950888 Whoops, missed an edit right in one of the sentences I edited before!
There shouldn't be an apostrophe in "one's."
I think they help nice thing to do even if there trouble for it.
It looks like a part of the chapter is missing.
5950920
5950906 Fixes applied for great justice. Do I get XP?
5950968 The desert is finally left behind, and I doubt that anyone (save perhaps the cats) is sad to see it go. Of course, now the question becomes whether or not they've actually improved their position for it.
Everrain seems like the quintessential "keep on the borderlands," for how much it's a single town abutting a dangerous, untamed wilderness. That people are disappearing is never a good sign, particularly since this is a jungle that resists even attempting to make a road through it. Hopefully tigers are the worst of the creatures that lurk in the wilderness, but somehow I doubt it.
One thing I did like was that Willow was laying out plot threads ahead of time regarding what they might end up dealing with on their journey. That's important, not just because it acts as foreshadowing, but also because what the group doesn't encounter is almost as important as what it does. That is, outlining possible threats that can then be avoided or escaped from help (to me) to establish a wider world that doesn't completely revolve around the main characters. It was nice, for instance, that we saw evidence of slavers in the desert, and the characters were subsequently able to avoid them. The story feels more real, I think, when the characters don't just barge forward in a straight line and fight their way through every encounter. Instead, they're acting how you'd expect someone in that situation to act: namely, proceeding under the idea that a fight is dangerous and should be avoided unless sufficiently warranted.
Of course, now a side trek has come up. I honestly can't see the party not helping out someone who seems to genuinely be in desperate need of help. That said, there's every chance that this is a trap, but I don't think that the ponies (or Sunflower) will let themselves proceed under the default position of "everyone we meet is a potential traitor." Ergo, they'll probably want to help this poor pony out (though I'm a little curious why he hasn't brought this up to the local law enforcement that we met?).
So it looks like a trip to a shady sanitarium near an untamed jungle...what could possibly go wrong?
Her armor repelled some of those claws, but she gave a surprised yelp as the others carved several jagged lines into her flesh.
Ending these sentences with town seems a bit clunky. Perhaps
The jungle ended abruptly, allowing them to see a sleepy, isolated town of no more than two thousand souls.
Reminds me of Sheriff Silver Star in Appleloosa. ("I called for a meetin', not a mob scene!")
Perhaps the rest of they typos are in the old sanitarium? (I feel like the next chapter will end with "And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling ponies and your cat!")
5951026 Fixed!
5951001 There is a wide world around the characters, with things going on and pre-existing forces. It's good to touch on those, though I try not to get too mired in it. The first story was attacked fairly viciously for 'excessive exposition'.
5951043
Say what now?
I clearly need to do a better job explaining what I mean when I use that term, because the vast majority of people seem to be using it to refer to something along the lines of "large amounts of narration that dumps background information without context," whereas I'm using it to mean "(relatively) short pieces of narration that complement a character's words and actions by giving us a glimpse into their mindset."
I'm assuming the attack you referred to came from those reviewers who were looking over the story for ED?
5951112 They were not the only ones.
5950853 Helping those in need is its own reward, especially when their enemies have equipment you can loot.
Out of the frying pan, and into the broth, I wonder just where that Tiger compared, given that RL Ligers etc can reach 7 foot long and have claw reach of 9 foot up a tree easily? Or was it 9 and 12? Only that the photo was as terrifying of that Polar Bear thinking about trying to get to the tasty morsels in th high axel armoured observation vehicle.
I wonder just how offensive that jungle finds roads, like if they were only cleared out to form a trailway, or they went the whole Roman Militery road, with trench for foundation, embankment build of graded packed stone, etc. Other things are various elementals, druids, mages and other heavy magic users not wishing access to be so easy?
Why is it always raining? They have a sanitorium. they need the lightning for the experiments.
5951368 They have nice lanterns and magical flames inside the sanitorium. Rain will not stop them.
it sounds like a little side job is in order.
but I have a feeling this will not be a little job. but a job it will be.
Harts Fire
5951411 When is it ever a little side job?
5951440
vary true my friend.
across
but they never
She handled the chimera pretty well; she even tried to talk it down.
back (out into sounds weird unless it's referring to weather)
corrected him (What did she correct him about? His optimism or putting his paws on the table?)
The 'enough' is already implicit in alright
Oh boy, a sanitarium. Those are always totally legit.
5951583 It will surely be a boring visit.
I am mighty upset this place doesn't live up to the name.
Oooh! A sanitarium! You don't see those in many stories, pony or otherwise!!
Though I am curious, how are Deranged Typos any different from Normal Typos? O.o
5953561 D̛̘̣̮̖̖͂e̶̶͇͈̬͔̻̲̥ͩ̉ͫ̌̏ͩ̍rͯ̑̈́̂̿̅ͨ̂҉̸̘͓͉͚̪̙a̴̛̙̭̮̤̩͈͉̹̤͆ṋ̷̨̻͇͉͚̅̄̏̄ͣ́͠g̭̻̭̞̬̀͝e̡̪̪̎̓ͬ̋͊ͪ͝ď̼̖̺̪͉̲̲̟ͥ̉ͤ̈̂͟͜͠ ̶̠̗͖̜̬̪ͤ̇̀̏ͮ̇t̀̑͊͏̛̤̺͍̩y̆ͪ̿ͮ͌͜҉̯̣̖͇p͓̺̫̬̤͕̲̬̻̾̃ͧ̀̔͠o͔̮͆̄̒̀̔ṣ̼͖̺͖̺̈́͗͋ͯͥ̕ ̢͇̙̲̓͂̈́ͥ̑̈̚ḁ̯̈ͨ͌̓r̀̎̇̊̄͏͚͎͓e̱̘̤̝̍̊̍̒ͭ ͗̂͋͏̹͇͚̗̙̼̬͔͜ͅt͈̖̩̘͇̙̽͆̃͟ͅh̶̨̳̀̄̈́͡e̱̞͈͈̪͔ͨ̂ͭ̇ͥͦ̆̚̕ ̛͗͛҉͔̥̯͓w̛͖̻͈̲̙̆ͦ́ó͚͎̤͇̣̔͒͛̾̈́́͢r̛̬͕͓̗͙̭̭̟̈ͮ͒͞͞ͅš̸͚̠̻̘̝̾̏ͦͪ̉͢͠ţ̠͈̹̥̼̝̜̑ͅ.̵̫̼͔̞̦̱̥͖̰ͪ͐̈͞
5954163 You can't tell.
5954163 .
.
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