The party assembled at the northern gate of the city. Willow showed them to a wagon with wide wheels. "They are designed to not sink easily into the sand. See how they are more runners than wheels? They can be converted into wheels when we escape the desert. A most ingenious design that made the purrsian behind it quite wealthy."
Applejack circled the wagon curiously. "Looks mighty fine, and big enough fer all of us. But how's it gonna move forward?"
Willow moved past the wagon and gestured for them to follow. She led them to the stalls and pointed out four camels. "These are ours. Well-suited to desert travel, they don't require frequent watering. We should leave the desert behind before they are in urgent need of a drink. Are any of you skilled at handling such beasts?" When they all shook their heads, she shrugged. "I thought as much. I will handle them. The wagon is loaded with the supplies we require. I have a map of the region, at least as far as Everrain. The gods laugh to place such a wet place right beside the desert."
Sweetie tilted her head a little. "Anything we should know before we head out?"
Willow held up a finger. "One, stay in the wagon unless it is urgent. Two, tell someone before you leave no matter how urgent it is. Three, no walking around outside during the day. Four, stay quiet, some creatures of the desert can hear quite well. Five, drink sparingly, but drink regularly." She led the way back to the wagon and swung herself up into the driving position. "Son, come up here. You may learn something." Sunflower soon joined her and they started going over the basics of how to operate the wagon.
Applejack turned to the rest of the Crusaders. "Well, if ya had any unfinished business in the city, this is tha time to bring it up."
Looks were exchanged and heads shaken. No one could think of something that needed doing. Scootaloo pointed to the sands. "We're ready for action!"
Applejack huffed. "We're hopin' there won't be any of that. Boring is what we're aimin' for." She nudged the door of the wagon open. "Of course, that ain't guaranteed, so be ready, but don't go looking fer trouble, it's lookin' for us just fine as it is. Get on board, Ah'm gonna help out Willow with tha, uh, whatever those things are."
"Camels." Sweetie smiled brightly, then hopped up onto the wagon, the others not far behind.
"Yeah, those. Be right back." Applejack trotted back to the stables, soon joined by Willow. They got the camels into position and rigged up for the journey. The rigging was clearly made with clever purrsian fingers in mind, not pony hooves and mouths, but Applejack did her best to be helpful. The sand that was omnipresent outside the city got into her hooves, digging in between the sensitive padding and the outer wall. She was quietly grateful when she boarded the wagon and sank down once she was in the dim interior. With a softly spoken spell, she banished the dirt, bringing sweet relief. She sighed out and brought the attention of the others.
"Ya OK, Sis?" Apple Bloom trotted over quickly and paused as she spotted a small pile of sand beside Applejack. "What tha?" Before she could question it, Applejack made a sweeping motion and the sand was ushered out the back of the wagon, and the door closed slowly. "Huh. Yer gettin' better at that there magic."
Applejack smiled and reached out to pat Apple Bloom softly. "Ain't nothin' ah can't figure out if ah decide ah want to. Ya ain't the only one learnin'. Now hop up here. Ah'd like to be with mah sister for a while." Apple Bloom obliged her, and they curled together peacefully, both happier for the presence of the other. Applejack took quiet notice of Apple Bloom's relative size. The filly surely was larger than she last recalled. Was it time, or the strange property of coming to Everglow? Would she shrink on their return? Was her little sister just getting bigger? A soft pain stabbed in her chest as evidence of Apple Bloom's maturity lay curled beside her.
Applejack's thoughts remained in her head, not troubling the others. Sunflower had brought a deck of cards and was playing a game with Sweetie and Scootaloo. Though he was the one to introduce it to them, Scootaloo seemed to have a knack for it. She was good-natured about her victories, encouraging her playmates to give it another try. The soft rocking of the wagon and the relative quiet soon had them drowsy, but they didn't surrender so easily.
Sweetie clopped a hoof on the floor. "We can sleep during the day. We shouldn't sleep now." She glanced over at the napping Apples before looking towards her more waking companions. "How about a little friendly game of... truth or dare?"
Scootaloo giggled, covering her snout. Sunflower looked more confused. "What is that?"
Sweetie flashed her bright smile. "It is exactly what it sounds like. We take turns challenging one another to truth or dare. The challenged pony has to pick one or the other. If you pick truth, you have to tell the truth to the question. If you pick dare, you have to do what you're told. No dares outside the wagon, alright?"
Scootaloo bobbed her head and dashed off, returning with a bottle. She grinned and gave it a spin. It stopped on Sweetie. Scootaloo leaned towards her. "Truth, or dare?"
Sweetie tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I'll take truth."
Scootaloo stuck out her tongue. "Don't be a pansy, hmm." She glanced at Sunflower, then back at Sweetie. "Have you ever kissed a colt, for real, on the lips?"
Sweetie went dark red. "No! Gosh!" She reached for the bottle and batted it, sending it spinning around drunkenly. It stopped aiming closest to Sunflower and she smiled. "Truth or dare?"
Sunflower perked his ears and squirmed a little. "Dare."
Sweetie tilted her head. "Brave, or maybe you have secrets you don't want to share." She grinned and tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I dare you to... kiss Scootaloo, right on the lips."
Scootaloo darkened and her wings went out. "What?! Sweetie!"
Sunflower approached her with some hesitation. "If you don't want to, I won't force you... It's just a game."
Scootaloo crossed her forelegs. "I won't be beaten that easily. Pucker up, catboy." They leaned in towards each other with Sweetie watching with wide eyes. Their snouts met with a clumsy bump, and a brief kiss was shared before they drew back quickly and sat down.
Sweetie frowned a little. "That was hardly a kiss, but you did it. Your turn."
Sunflower grabbed the bottle and gave it a smooth spin, making it go round and round until it pointed back at Sunflower. "Uh, what do I do?"
Scootaloo made a spinning gesture. "Spin it again."
Away it went, this time landing on Scootaloo. "Truth or dare? Pick truth."
Scootaloo tilted her head. "Huh? Uh, OK. Truth."
Sunflower grinned. "Did you enjoy the kiss?"
Scootaloo punched Sunflower in the shoulder with a hoof. "Jerk!" But she burst into laughter afterwards. "It was alright."
Scootaloo spun it around, and the game continued through the evening. As the sun rose, the temperature came with it. The interior of the wagon quickly became stuffy, but not unbearably so. The wagon's rocking came to a halt, and soon Willow appeared. "We are parked in a valley, out of sight. We rest now, and resume when the heat has withdrawn." She pulled the door shut behind herself. "I'm ready for a meal." She padded across the wagon towards the supplies. "Anyone else want some?"
Dried trail rations were hardly a luxury meal, but no one refused it. As they chewed softly, Applejack asked. "About how many days ta get out of the desert?"
Willow drew out a map and unfurled it. "We're making excellent progress so far. If we're lucky, the caravan ahead of us is drawing the attention of anything dangerous. We could get out in four more days of travel. The jungles around Everrain are quite thick, so I expect three days of hard journey before we reach the city. So a week until we get some real food in us."
Apple Bloom swallowed the bit she had been grinding. "It's not so bad. Ah'm just glad we're moving. You'll tell us if a monster shows up, right?"
Willow chuckled softly. "You'll be the second to know. I hope it never comes up, but if we are attacked, I expect everyone to help. If the wagon is smashed to bits, we're all basically dead anyway."
Scootaloo waved a hoof dismissively. "We can handle whatever comes. You just haven't seen us in action." She wrinkled her snout a little. "What are our odds?"
Willow settled back against a crate. "Of what? Monsters before we reach the city? Almost a hundred percent."
Sweetie squeaked and tilted her head. "That bad?"
Conversation petered out as the meal was completed, and they managed a good day's rest. The wagon lurched ahead when the sun lowered and continued to slide across the sands. It came to a halt around three o' clock. Willow pulled open the door. "Come see."
They followed her to what appeared to be the remains of another caravan. "They didn't make it very far from the city. I couldn't say what destroyed them, but this could be us, if we are not careful."
Applejack approached the splintered remnants of a wagon, avoiding the twisted body of a purrsian baking in the sun. "Right terrible is what it is. Shouldn't we do something fer em?"
Willow softly snorted. "Bury them in the sand? A gift as fleeting as it is useless. I am guessing it was not a beast. They look stripped to the fur, and not devoured."
Sunflower shook his head. "Bandits?"
Sweetie frowned with thought. "I wonder if it was the same ones we run into when we first got here. I'm going back to the wagon." The others agreed with the sentiment. There was little else in the corpse of the caravan worth seeing, and hot gritty sand in hooves was quite unpleasant. Soon they were moving forward again, feeling a bit less safe with no caravan ahead of them to draw attention away.
Sweetie looked to Apple Bloom. "Do you think we'll make it alright?"
Apple Bloom tilted her head. "'Course we will! Heck, Ah feel kinda bad we didn't go with that other caravan. Ah bet we'da smashed those bandits but good!"
Scootaloo agreed with the sentiment, thrusting a hoof into the air. "Cutie Mark Crusaders Caravan Defenders! That would have been great."
Applejack shook her head. "Like ah said, the trouble's looking fer us. Let's not go pining the trouble we missed. Them bandits may still be out there, and they might find us. Let's just be ready."
Apple Bloom nodded. "Excellent idea. Let's go over a few plans." She clopped a hoof on the wooden floor. "I hereby call this meetin' of the CMC ta order!"
Ah, random encounters. All but guaranteed. Hopefully it won't be anything too terrible, especially with the other caravan acting as vanguard.
That said, they've already encountered a typo:
Took.
"Well-suited" to desert travel.
There are two spaces between "gonna" and "help."
The use of "her hooves" twice is awkward; maybe change that last part to "the outer wall" or something to that effect?
The phrase "sunk in the dim light" is also a bit unwieldy. I'd change that to "sank down once she was in the dim interior."
Applejack "took" quiet notice of Apple Bloom's relative size.
The wagon's rockings came to a "halt."
The use of "us" twice is cumbersome. Change that last part to something like "is drawing the attention of anything dangerous," or something like that.
It came to a "halt."
5939266 Typos fixed, clearing the sand out of the chapter.
Or maybe that's what causes the desert; all of the clouds stop there and never reach the desert
Yer
took
It would make sense for them to be traveling at night, but I don't think you ever actually said that was the case until later in this chapter.
halt
You can remove these words without changing the meaning.
Edit: I'm getting slow in my old age. Alzrius already flagged most of these.
Query: Are ancient typos stronger than modern typos? Do ancient typos have the power to summon other typos to their aid? Inquiring minds need to know!!
5939293 Ancient typos have powers beyond our ken and are terrible foes.
5939286 Fixes applied in memory of the fallen caravaners.
5939276 Reading this chapter over, it suddenly occurred to me what this story is actually about. I mean, I know what the premise is, but it's just now that I recognized the central theme of the entire story: this is a "coming of age" tale for the Cutie Mark Crusaders. While the recognized instance of a foal coming of age in Equestria is them receiving their cutie mark, what's happening here is more fundamental than that. Rather, it's them learning how to be adults and engage with life in multiple areas, from fighting to save themselves to falling in love.
Realizing that puts everything that's happened so far into context, and makes it clear that they're the main characters here, with Applejack basically being along for the ride, rather than vice versa. Sunflower, in this context, is something of a narrative mirror, joining them on their journey and helping to show them the changes they're experiencing, the same way they are for him. Given that, I expect that they'll receive their cutie marks at the very end of this story, being the final recognition that they've become adults and are ready to start living as such.
Looking away from the bigger picture, this chapter saw the group finally leaving Murrage behind, as well as putting forward some very much-need shipping! Needless to say, I got quite a kick out of this, and it left me wanting more (the hallmark of a well-done scene).
Insofar as getting on the road was concerned, I did feel like things were a smidgen too focused on the mechanics of how they were going to travel, rather than them leaving Longtail Manse behind. So nopony felt the urge to say anything to Lady Longtail before they left, even knowing that they'll likely never see her again? That seems a bit cold. Still, that's a relatively minor complaint - and I admit I cracked a grin at Willow's emphasis on them not leaving the wagon, and the ponies managing to take her advice to heart! Given that we just had an episode that reinforced how the CMC are likely to execute extremely half-baked plans in complete defiance of being told not to, this seemed rather notable, though I'm not sure if it was intentional (perhaps as a way to contrast how their time on Everglow has affected them?).
The decimated caravan, which they were almost a part of, was quite ominous, particularly in light of Willow's statement that them running into trouble was a foregone conclusion. While I suppose that does technically make them correct in that it was "drawing off" trouble, that particular shield is gone - hopefully whatever bandits hit that caravan are temporarily sated (or perhaps licking some wounds, or both) and won't be back to cause trouble any time soon. On the other hoof, the lack of any other bodies was disturbing; while I suppose the sands might have already swallowed them up, it's odd to consider that that wouldn't be the case for one body in particular. That would suggest that the other members of that caravan either fled (which is suicide), or were taken captive...perhaps those raiders are slavers? Given the evidence we've seen that you can buy slaves in Murrage, that seems like a disturbing possibility, since slavers aren't likely to let a small caravan such as Willow's pass if they know about it.
But of course, the most notable scene here was Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Sunflower all playing truth or dare! The archetypal game of awkward-curious youths everywhere, watching the three of them play at romance was exactly as adorable as I thought it'd be. There's something to be read in each of their challenges to each other. As the most timid of the three, it was entirely appropriate that Sweetie's first choice was truth - that Scootaloo asked if her friend had ever kissed a boy, especially after her sideways glance at Sunflower, was Scootaloo wanting to "keep tabs" on the potential competition, so to speak. So far, Scootaloo has been the most forward about liking Sunflower back, so it's unsurprising that she'd want to make sure that nopony else has made more progress than her (to say nothing of the fact that she's easily the most responsive to the idea of "love is a race").
That Sweetie Belle dared Sunflower to kiss Scoots was more surprising, at least initially. With some time to think it over, I suspect that it makes sense in terms of her wanting to push the envelope without actually being involved. In other words, she wanted there to be kissing, but was too shy to do so herself, having Scootaloo be her proxy in that regard. Interestingly, her lack of jealousy in any regard seems to hint that she feels no real competition the way Scootaloo seems to...but is that because she's not interested, or because she has no problem with the idea of a pride (I'd have wondered if she doesn't understand it, alternatively, but with Scootaloo's laughing about Sunflower wanting "a harem" last chapter, the fillies seem to fully appreciate what Sunflower is after)?
As for Sunflower himself, he was the most straightforward, wanting to make sure he'd done a good job, likely both to stroke his ego as much as confirm that he did it right (where "right" means "she liked it"). As it's been up until now, he continues to be very honest - both with the girls and with himself - about what he wants. Doubtlessly his mother (who would likely have heard the entire exchange) approves.
It'll be interesting to see how things continue to develop between them - that's the big hook (at least for me) for this story, after all.
is the trip going to get exciting? yes but the question is how exciting will it get?
and Scootaloo gets her first kiss.
makes one wonder how many other first will happen on this trip?
it looks as though the girls are growing but will there change stay when going back to Equestria?
if any change stays I hope Scootaloo will be able to fly.
Harts Fire
Either:
more runners than wheels or
more sleds than wagons
The second sentence will need to be altered if you use "sleds than wagons"
hopin'
aimin'
lookin'
gettin'
nothin'
learnin'
rocking
lookin'
meetin'
The Truth or Dare scene was cute.
Luckily Sunflower didn't pick truth and get asked which of them he likes most!
5939477 All fixed, and thanks!
Hopefully Bandits have a recovery time of a couple of days. Unfortunately, that being the only caravan ahead of them, ones before were successfully or no raided days prior, plus hungry desert beasts, something is waiting unless someone manages to roll 14 natural 20s?
Really like the camel caravan with the caravan camels with swamp/dune wheels.
Sand Crawler?
5939605 No thoughts on my thoughts on this chapter? Commenters like commentary too you know!
5939927 Quite fair enough! I had fun with the spin-the-bottle scene. Applejack was realizing that things are a changin' around her, and she's not entirely sure how she feels about that, but what is a big sister to do responsibly? She's trying her best to be a good sister. She wants Apple Bloom to be happy and loved, but she also really desperately wants to never lose more family. Apple Bloom saying she didn't want to buck apples hurt, but her assurance that she didn't want to leave the farm was a welcome relief. The thought that Apple Bloom may want to move away and chase after her own dreams is something of a nightmare. It is a personal trial she faces. I don't think it's entirely fair to say she's not a part of the narrative so to speak. She is growing along with all the other ponies. Like the series, she doesn't make a lot of noise about her struggle, but she is, and Apple Horse deserves love, because she is the one that gets it least often. She's crying on the inside, and I wish I could give her a hug on the outside.
Does this mean that Ancient Typos are stronger than even The Night Mare?? O.O
5939957
Applejack's problem here is the same as her problem in the TV show: she is already developed. Rainbow Dash is still juvenile enough to get hysterical about her pet hibernating but Applejack had already experienced and dealt with a larger version of that issue before the show even started. The only way for Applejack to do something unexpected is for her to do something dumb, and then everyone gets mad. The CMC are naturally stealing her spotlight because they are all about growth and development.
5939957
5940105 While I'd have phrased it differently, I agree (!) with albedo's general point - Applejack is not changing, as a character. Rather, she's reacting to changes going on around her, be they changes of location, changes of how to treat Apple Bloom, etc. The thing is, none of those are changes to her; her sense of identity does not require redefinition the way that Apple Bloom's (and the other Crusaders') will as part of growing up.
The fillies (and Sunflower) are changing as part of the maturation process. Applejack is still who she was before; nothing that's happened so far has been major enough to alter who she is.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders seem to be adapting quite well to the Everglow though it's nice to see that they're still foals despite the things they encountered so far.
6851483 They've been adventurous foals for some time! This world just gives it a standard.
Fun fact: Giraffes can go without water for far longer.
But camels are easier to tame. And ride, for that matter.