My Little Invader

by Amereep

I AM INVADER, HEAR ME SCREAM!

Down within the interior of Zim's base, a conversation of the highest rankings is taking place. Zim was having a conversation with the almighty tallests; one of the few special individuals that towered among the little people, literally. They're the Irkens' leaders that lead the conquest for Impending Doom 2; which mostly entails watching planets being wiped clean of life, eating snacks, and checking up on invaders' progress at finding planet weaknesses. Although, the current conversation they're having was actually started by Zim, not by Tallest Red or Tallest Purple. The leaders found Zim to be a nuisance and never checked up on him. They might get some enjoyment out of seeing Zim's explanations to his terrible plans, his frustrations at failed plans, or his painful sufferings; but lately "And then we tried to become master chiefs" it seems Zim is enjoying his life lately.

"I was tasked with making sandwiches" Zim described, "they had to be made with extra precaution and the up most care, otherwise the ingredients will go flying everywhere. Do you know how hard it is to keep the oats from falling out?"

Purple didn't seem impressed "Anyone can make a sandwich, which reminds me." He looks among his men "You, go make me a sandwich."

"You make it sound like your having fun there" Red wondered aloud.

"It's no vacation, I assure you" replied the invader. "The very fact that their technology is so primitive makes things even harder to live with."

"That's no excuse," Purple mocked "getting-by without tech is easy."

"My Tallest" a worker announced "the sandwich making machine is broken."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!!! How will we ever make sandwiches again????"

Red watches his friend's mental breakdown for a few seconds before returning back to Zim. "I think what Purple is trying to say is that you're taking your mission to leisurely. Your an Invader, not a young pony having fun with his friends. Next time you call, we want to hear some promising words that hold some kind of weakness or quite possibly your death record. End communication."

Zim was shocked from what his leader said. Him? Not taking his mission seriously? He refused to believe it! The very thought of becoming just like a pony disgusted him. "I need to prove to them somehow that I take my mission seriously" the invader began to conjure up a plan. "If I remember the tactics of Invader Drill of planet Bradraybury, then I should try to get some information from the youth, like those girls. Which reminds me" he gets on his disguise "I gotta get going!" He gallops out of the room, up the elevator and out the front door.

The house was silent now. Zim just left and Gir jumped through the window an hour ago to have his own adventure. The house was empty before an unknown intruder popped it's head through the open window "..........Hello♥!" the intruder being none other then the energetic Pinkie Pie. "Hello? Gir? Zim?" she jumps through the window "Where is everypony?" She folds her forelegs and was giving a puzzled look as she went in thought.

While she pondered, her mane shook and out came a dead expressionless creature. It was tumbling out landed on the floor with its chin hitting first. It was a reptilian creature with light green skin and pale purple eyes. It got up on four legs and waddled its way towards the mare that questioned.

Pinkie noticed the critter looking at her "Do you know where Zim is, Gummy?"

Gummy stood up on his hind legs and the mare could understand what it was saying.

She slapped a hoof against her forehead "The computer room, of course!"

Pinkie headed down into the base and headed towards the room in question. Right when she met the door, she found black furry object stuck in the door. The pony crawled closer the weird object and poked it a few times; it didn't move. She pulled on it and it came out from the door. It was long black bundle of strands that look like hair, the type of hair that reminds one of a green 'pony.'

"Is this Zim's-" Pinkie stopped her train of thought as a tiny smile began to form on the party pony. The very thought of what she had to do next was unbearable and that smile slowly grew to a full wide grin.

---

Zim gallops, at least to the best of his efforts, through town to meet up with the Cutie Mark Crusaders near the clubhouse. You may be wondering why the alien is heading towards the disease carrying fillies in the first place; well turns out (as I'm sure many of you may have already figure out already..... I hope) cooties are a delusional illness. Zim felt like an idiot for falling for such a trick, but soon began to think of it as a blessing in disguise. The CMC's attempts at getting their Cutie Marks through various productive activities gave Zim an insight on what ponies did for a living. The knowledge would then be used to destroy the society from within when he gets an idea. Though ironically, the other crusaders seem to be doing a fine job of doing just that by themselves.

The 'pony' arrived to meet the group gathered against the bottom ramp to the clubhouse. They greeted Zim with a weak acknowledgment, the girls seemed deep in thought "What's going on?"

"Well..." Applebloom began "we've tried just about everything to get our cutie marks."

"And we can't think of anything else to try" Scootaloo picked up from where her friend stopped.

"Do you have any ideas, Zim?" Sweetie finished off.

This question enthralled Zim. If he played his cards right, he could get his conquest started. "Alright Zim," he mentally coach himself "you need to be specific... why don't we... but not too specific... find some kind of... something they wont question and accept easily... .........bug in Equestria?" he ended the

The girls' eyes widened at Zim's suggestion.

"You know," Applebloom began to wonder "my sister did say she saw a weird bug near the orchard. Said it was like a critter she never seen before."

The other two fillies began to lighten up "We should look for it!" Scootaloo nearly shouted.

"If we can find something that is rarely seen, then we could get a cutie mark at being experts at tracking things down!" Sweetie Belle chimed in.

Applebloom joined in as well "Yeah, you're right!"

Zim wasn't planning for something like this and begin hitting is head upon a nearby tree for putting the idea into their heads in the first place.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER TRACKERS!" the girls cheered.

"Trackers? So you guys are planning to be dogs? HA!"

All four of them looked at the source of the remark and saw two fillies that had a high class feel to them. The one who spoke was a pale magenta earth pony with a grayish purple mane holding a few white streaks in it, she seemed to be very show-boasting with that prideful smirk she was giving.

Where this filly was outgoing, the other filly was hardly noticeable with her gray coat and mane. She wore glasses and a necklace on her figure that gave a feel like she was a secretary, ghost writer, or some kind of pony that just blended in with the popular click.

"You'll never get your cutie marks" the pink one mocked further.

"Be quiet," Scootaloo lashed back "we'll get our cutie marks sooner then you know!"

"Right and Pinkie Pie isn't a stalker" she replied with a sarcastic tone.

Her statement was proven true as Pinkie Pie pops her head out of a bush. Her eyes were focused with anticipation at Zim's rear.

The alien didn't pick up on this observation as he was doing an observation of his own. He views the two new fillies with wonder at what connection they may have with the CMC. He leaned towards Sweetie Belle "Who's that?"

"That's Diamond Tiara" she replied, "don't mind her, she's just a bully."

"Bull-e?" Zim questioned and scanned over Tiara one more time. "I can't see any electronic features about her, but I do notice some bovine characteristics."

Sweetie Belle giggled "It's probably around the horn section."

Zim viewed the head particularly after that and noticed that she was wearing a diamond tiara. "Wait, is this the bull-e? It could house electronic elements after all." he wondered at which diamond tiara Sweetie was talking about.

While he wondered at the possibility of the trinket being Tiara, the real Tiara looked back at him "Who's he? Another blank flank?"

Applebloom grit her teeth "You leave Zim alone!" She wouldn't allow them to insult her new friend.

"Zim huh?" Tiara rubbed her chin menacingly "What is he, you're coltfriend?"

The very thought of the proposal made Applebloom blush "N-no!"

Which caused Tiara and her friend to mock further "Zim and Applebloom, laying underneath a tree. F-U-C-"

"ENOUGH!" Zim yelled to obtain control in the conversation. It seemed to have worked as all eyes were on him. He approached Tiara with an unamused look on his face "While I commend you of your tactics at showing superiority and your intriguing ability at spelling; I will not stand by and have you insult my subordinates."

All the fillies were giving each other a confused expression. Some were wondering what he was saying as the others were wondering at what he meant.

"I must ask you to leave us as we execute our plan at getting marking upon our posterior."

The Crusaders began to think that Zim was pretty cool for confronting her in a mature way.

"Go take Diamond Tiara and your servant else where. We have more important things to do then to spend time with y-EEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" the Irken suddenly screamed with pain up into the air, holding onto his rear.

Right behind where he was standing, Pinkie Pie was sitting on her rump with a proud smile on her face. "I win, I win!" she says with laughter and the clopping of her hooves by her successful and literal attempt at 'Pinning the Tail on the Pony.'

The two high-class fillies began to laugh at Zim's suffering. "He must be in your group," Tiara said "being a freak, he'll fit in perfectly."

The alien froze in fear that his cover was starting to break. "NO NO, I'M NOT A FREAK, I'M NORMAL! See, look....." he bent down and was giving a tiny grim look for his following action. Zim opened his jaw, clenched it onto some grass, and pulled it out from the ground. He chewed it giving an disgusted expression at his actions "See, I eat grass. I'M NORMAL!"

Any interesting feature the crusaders had a moment ago was now gone and replaced with embarrassment.

"Peh, what pony eats grass?" Tiara mocked "Come on Silver Spoon, let's leave these weirdos alone."

As she was leaving, Zim couldn't help but feel that she had the stronger respect amongst the both of them. He felt that his identity was hidden for another day, but it cost him a bit of his pride for it. "That vile Glukkon" he murmured with disgust under his voice.

"Don't let her get to ya, Zim" Applebloom reassured him.

"She's like that with everypony" informed Scootaloo.

"And she enjoys getting under other ponies' skin" Sweetie Belle detailed. "Just forget about her."

Zim didn't seemed like he wanted to forget about it, judging by his ornery face.

"Come on" the country filly said "let's split up and look for that critter. It'll get our minds off of Tiara."

With another scream of their new crusading title, they split up to search for the bug; making more ground at finding the little vermin. This allowed the green 'pony' to have a time of reflection. The thoughts of the last few hours that have past as he tread through the forest. "Perhaps the tallests were right. Maybe I am taking this mission too casually." He began cursing the thought "Having some pathetic pony proclaim that she was better then a mighty Irken soldier."

Zim stopped and began questioning "Am I not Irken? Master of all races? Don't they grovel at my feet or else be destroyed?"

As he debated at what he was, a small creature appeared from behind a tree. The creature was like a ladybug with its red shell on its back, but another feature would make you question on what species it was. It had a head of a cat, a light blue colored fur cat head with a ladybug shell on its back, quite an oddity it was. The creature stood up on two legs and waved its hands in the air with a friendly smile "Hello, I'm Catbug. What's yo-"

---

Over at Fluttershy's cottage, an angry Angel Bunny successfully kicks a headless 'puppy' outside. He pats his paws at a job well done, but was suddenly spooked by a tremor. He looks about and notices a large cloud in the distance in the shape of a mushroom, then he was suddenly tackled by the 'puppy' he just kicked out.

---

The surrounding area was a dead waste land holding nothing but a dust cloud in the air. As the dust cleared apart, a cold expression was plastered on fast triggering Zim, holding a ray gun that caused the sudden dust cloud. The strange creature from moments before was now gone from sight. The only thing that was left of it was an image of its shadow embedded upon a nearby rock.

"YES!" the alien yelled "I am Irken, and no pony, sparkling trinket, or feline parasite can tell me otherwise!"

Near minutes later, a trio of scared fillies came galloping as fast as they could towards their friend. "Zim!!! Are you okay?" Applebloom asked for the rest of the other girls. They were squinting through what little dust their was that's still air-born "What happen here?"

Zim didn't really pay no mind to their worried expressions, none the less, he still acknowledge the question "Don't worry, everything's fine."

"Just saw a cockroach is all."

Author's Note:

During the commentary of the episode 'Bestest Friend,' Jhonen said that he really wanted that 'eye popping scene' to be in it. Guess which segment I really wanted.

I can what it might have been like when Zim got home.
Zim: Gir, I've realized that lately I hav- WHERE IS YOUR HEAD?!?!
*At Fluttershy's cottage, Angel hangs up the trophy of the 'puppy' he just conquered.*

I guess I should also state that no pony obtain any radiation poisoning. How you may ask? Well....

Comments

[HB_DS2013]

Thank you for the Catbug cameo.

[iamthemithras]

Can't wait to see what happens next

[nightmaster0]

Great chapter.

[Usabrony]

This is GREAT!!! Though I wonder...could you make this fimfiction one where Zim actually turns good? Would make a great idea if you ask me.

[Usabrony]

7082684 really want to know of Invader Zim would turn a new leaf....basically a bad guy gone good kind of story please?

[Usabrony]

7082684

[iamthemithras]

... So uh... any chance for a next chapter?

[Amereep]

7539638
I really don't think there will be anytime soon. I've thought of some ideas (Zim and Trixie having a who's greater competition, a 'Mysterious Mysteries'-like chapter, Zim's house getting a virus), but ultimately had to abandon due to the lack of expanding upon those ideas and unable of finding a way of ending them.

[iamthemithras]

7539806

Such a shame. You really got Zim and Gir really well, this felt like an actual episode.
This was one of the few stories I really really liked back in the day.

Sorry to bother, got a bit nostalgic lately

[Amereep]

7540204
It's not that hard to get them. You just gotta keep in mind that Zim is an egocentric stubborn idjit that lacks a few words to his dictionary and makes up for it by stating the next closest word, and as for Gir....... he's just plain suicidal.

It may seem like this story will never be updated, but then again, I though the same thing everytime before making the last four chapters. Perhaps one day I might return to this when something clicks in my head.

[BenPictures1]

Earth and everyone on it dies due to Zim not being around to stop the Planet Jackers from throwing it into the sun.