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  • E The Zecorax

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Goodness. Where does the time go?

Anyway, today I'm looking at Discord's First Very Faithful Student by Pokonic. This is a bit of a tough one because it's a lighter tone than the two previous things I've looked at, but I'll see if I can get to what it's saying. (Irrelevant: Pokonic, this story is lousy with typos, man, fix your shit)

The story opens with both Discord and Diamond Tiara being bored and lonely. This is, curiously, not a cause for sadness for either of them. They seem totally content with themselves and aren't in a position where they want someone to reach out to them and pull them out of a bad spot. Their first connection isn't one of empathy - it's a profoundly selfish moment where both of the two realise they can extract something of value from each other.

In fact, soon after Discord prompts Diamond to show that weakness to Silver Spoon. For a moment I thought the story had done some weird backflip but it reveals that as a con. Discord isn't interested in making Diamond a good pony and Diamond isn't interested in becoming one - just in using it as a cover while really interesting things happen. Again, this is a positive lesson that has it's roots in profound self interest and I'm starting to suspect that's the heart of this story.

Diamond Tiara has been set up the entire story as a pony who doesn't need a hug; she's been shown to be a legitimate jerk, a sociopath who's special talent is bossing people around and who needs to channel that power to productive and humorous ends. So it's kind of got me stumped that the story abruptly shift tacks when Diamond's mother shows up and suddenly she's like a different character, with no self confidence or anything. She can brush off everyone else's opinions but she really wants her mother's approval. Which she seems to have, although in an abstract, distant sort of way.

And that's pretty much it. I'm really struggling to say much of anything about this story. It's incomplete, but it spends so much time talking about stuff that isn't the point that I'm just kind of waiting for it to get to the stuff that matters. There's a conversation with Celestia which goes nowhere. There's tonnes of worldbuilding and setting history but it's all distraction from what I'm really interested in. I'm trying to figure out who Pokonic thinks Diamond Tiara is and what she's going to get out of being mentored by Discord and so far the only thing I've got is "Doubts and history lessons". It feels like such a huge missed opportunity because the story that is sometimes there - about two sociopaths learning how to wreak legitimate havoc and learning lessons along the way, the story that's promised by the title, the tags and the description just isn't there. Instead it's like "Diamond Tiara Gets A Substitute Teacher". Lots of individually funny or cool moments but just not tied together.

Also holy shit the typos, dude.

Report Thanqol · 168 views ·
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#50 · 1d, 14h ago · · ·


Sorry, don't have one. I was just curious if you had anymore stories with Lyra and Bonbon in the center planned. Hopefully, you'll come up with something though.

#49 · 1d, 20h ago · · ·

>>2284867 I hadn't planned on it, but I can be persuaded! Tell me your idea of what a sequel looks like!

#48 · 2d, 2h ago · · ·

Hey, Thanqol, do you intend to write a sequel to 'Do Not Serve These Ponies'? What can I say? That was one of the funniest stories I ever read!

#47 · 36w, 20h ago · · ·

>>2080149 Man, Internet Fame is such a trap. That's the worst reason to do anything.

Back in the early days of the fandom I wrote a bunch of stories with the explicit objective of getting 6-stars, and I did it, but the achievement felt hollow and I'm not proud of those stories today. Then I wrote a story for one specific person and based the success or failure of that story depending on how much that one person liked it. That turned out to be my best and most popular piece of writing ever, and it's the story I feel most confident in because I know for a fact that I did what I set out to do.

A lot of people in this fandom forget the most basic lesson. They're trying to be horse famous, or go into rants about 'the community' like it's a coherent organisation with an agenda, but the name of the show is Friendship is Magic and you're only going to really grasp that magic when you're writing for your friends.

#46 · 36w, 1d ago · · ·


Well, my depression with writing stems from seeing stories getting thousands of upvotes in a short amount of time (and some of these stories are absolute shit!), as well as making the feature box. For me, it is a catalyst that fuels anger and a desire to not bother with writing at all. I want to be a well-known writer (read: "popular"), but I want to obtain it by writing a good story and not what the masses want to read.

As for what I find challenging about writing? For me, it's the thought that because I'm an amateur, and view writing as merely a hobby, that whatever I do write won't be up to the "standards" of readers. On one hand, I don't care about the naysayers, but on the other, those same people make me second-guess my abilities (if that makes any sense).

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