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User ID: 32,613
Registered: 11th May 2012
Last Seen: 4h, 10m ago
Story views: 7,243

Somehow NOT thumbed-down into train-wreck hell. Nope, don't ask me, I don't know either.

FUN FACT: I'm actually British, and merely Americanize my spellings because the majority of people here are from the USA. I'd dearly love to whip out some excessive U's and replace my Z's with S's, but I fear the backlash!

BEIGE PROSE. Beige prose, everywhere. Take all the prose and make it beige. Purveyor of tepid tales of modest suspense.

So! T'all you fine dandies, so proud, so cock-sure, prancin' aboot with yer heads fulla grammar and better ideas... come and get me, I say! I'll be waitin' on ya with a whiff of the ol' edit function!

I'm a dull bloodeh tale, with a predictable bloodeh end!

The Leech Series

[Comedy] [Slice of Life]
Low-ranking changeling meets overconfident unicorn. This may not end well...
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[Adventure]
The sequel to The Braggart and The Bug. Leech is recalled by his swarm. Doesn't go well, of course.
1671
[Comedy] [Slice of Life]
Third part of the Leech series. Leech gets a job, Trixie discovers a new power. Excitement. Oh yes.
1131

Other stuff

[Comedy] [Crossover] [Slice of Life]
Microsoft Office? In MLP? What madness is this?
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... and in which I shamelessly rip off Blue_Paladin42's style of titling blog posts.

Had a bit of a coincidence happen earlier this week. Managed to land myself a new job in the maintenance department of a factory (just a temporary admin role til I can get something a bit better!). Just had my employee/payroll number through... it's 1017. Yes, that's right, I'm in a maintenance dept and I'm number 1017. Bearing in mind that none of my characters are self-inserts, this really is rather a coincidence!

So... I put it to you, have you ever had something that's happened to you out in the real world that's reminded you of a story you've written/read on here?

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to work on forgetting how to pronounce "S" sounds.

PointlessGizmo · 28 views

Latest Stories


Bug In The City

Third installment of the Leech series - you'll need to read the other two first to understand this. I apologize for this in advance.

After months of being worshipped as heroes, Trixie and Leech must finally face normal life as Canterlot citizens - it seems in the superficial culture of Canterlot, even heroism has a shelf-life. After the furor has died down, Trixie has begun working the cabaret circuit with her magic shows - but can she compete amid Equestria's most talented and powerful unicorns? Her discovery of a new power may help her...

Meanwhile, just how does a changeling with the IQ of an empty potato sack get by in a society with such incredibly high standards?

(Original Trixie pic from mlp.wikia.com, ham-fistedly modified by me.)

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48,759 words ( 16 chapters ) · 1,167 views  ·  113  ·  1  · 

The Braggart and the Bug

We've all heard tales of what happens when changelings get taken in by ponies. However, in almost all these cases it's one of the so-called good ponies that finds and takes in the hapless insectoid. So what happens when an especially low-ranking changeling is found and taken in by an altogether less desirable character?

Well, as one might expect, things don't go to plan.

Artwork crudely modified by me, originally from: http://ackdari.deviantart.com/

First story, so constructive criticism welcomed!

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23,159 words ( 8 chapters ) · 2,756 views  ·  236  ·  3  · 

Back to the Swarm

NOTE - this is the sequel to my other story, The Braggart and The Bug. This won't make much sense if you haven't read that first (sorry about that!).

Leech the Changeling is enjoying his new life as The Great and Powerful Trixie's assistant. Exiled from Pony civilization, they travel across the non-pony lands of Equestria, astounding and sometimes annoying the natives as they go. Leech certainly wouldn't ever want to go back to life in a Changeling hive now, even if his swarm wanted him to.

Of course, they'd probably never want him back anyway... would they?

Art once again supplied by ackdari.deviantart.com/ and butchered by me.

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36,203 words ( 13 chapters ) · 1,266 views  ·  167  ·  1  · 

Number Three Assistant

Twilight Sparkle has always been content with having Spike as her number one assistant and Owlowicious as her number two. Together, they provide all the help and aid that she could ever need. But one night, during a hectic letter-writing session, a staffing problem and a miscast spell cause her to acquire a third assistant. One who seems just a little too keen to help...

A Microsoft Office/MLP crossover. Now there's a sentence you won't read very often.

By no means an original idea, it's actually inspired by a couple of pieces of art I saw along the same lines.

A short one-shot story whilst I work on the third part of my changeling OC series.

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5,988 words · 2,054 views  ·  188  ·  2  · 

Comments

#405786 · 6w, 6d ago · · ·
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#365687 · 10w, 1d ago · 1 · ·
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>>365646

You have my sympathies. Why would anyone do that to themselves?! :pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp:

Anyway, try reading the phone book to compensate. It's more entertaining than any crap you'll find here.

#365646 · 10w, 1d ago · · ·
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I just did a marathon read of the first two Leech fics.  Two hours worth.

Beige... the whole world is beige...




:trollestia:

#352530 · 11w, 2d ago · · ·
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There will be no survivors...

#342653 · 12w, 2d ago · · ·
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>>342607

Sweet zombie Jesus and all the orphans, that nearly gave me a seizure!

#328208 · 13w, 4d ago · · ·
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#324660 · 14w, 6h ago · · ·
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"Pinkie loves cooking as much as she does baking!"

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