I have a confession to make... · 2:29am
This is gonna be kinda doomy and gloomy, so let me just start by preempting the 'omg you're quitting the fandom?!' thoughts you might be having.
No. I'm not leaving.
Y'all have noticed I haven't posted anything in quite a while and even before that, I was really, really shitty about updating stories.
Well, I became part of 'Someone's PC' on patreon about six months ago. I'm not going to link it because it contains adult stuff relating to that other big r34 show.
And here's my confession. Someone's PC works on the monthly payment thing. Not 'by product', not whenever we update. Every. Single. Month. My own patreon is (was, more on that in a second) set up for every story. So I could go silent for six months and not be taking money for those six months and making myself feel wretched.
I can't do that with Someone's PC, because I'm part of a group of six. My 'content roll' only comes about once every three/four months, but every time I thought about writing something, every time I felt like writing something, I kinda felt obliged for it to be a new chapter of the story I'm writing for that group.
So if I felt like belting out a new chapter of Affliction, I'd stop, and think to myself that I really should be doing the Someone's PC stuff, because it has a due date. How can I justify working on a 'for fun' project when there's something with a due date on it that I'm being paid to do, every month?
But I am a 'mood' writer, mostly. I write what I'm in the mood to write. That's why my stories are so goddamn eccentric in their update dates. But I wasn't in the mood to write stuff for that other r34 show, so I just... wouldn't write anything.
That's why, in the past six months or so, since I started doing this other patreon stuff, I haven't really written anything except for that. That is my confession. My own guilty conscience and lack of being able to force myself to write at will has just screwed everything.
I'm also killing off my other patreon. I haven't posted anything there for a YEAR, and I wouldn't feel comfortable making any new posts to people who wouldn't be expecting the post (and more importantly the charges, euch).
I can't promise that things will improve, since I am only humanpegasus, but I can promise that I will try. I'm going to try to write more pony, and finish off all those things I left hanging.
And just for clarification, I enjoy writing for Someone's PC. I enjoy the story I'm making for them. The only thing I don't enjoy about it is that it has taken away from writing pony, and you all deserve more than just another writer or artist that cuts and runs for another fandom at the drop of a hat.
I refuse to be that writer.
So, I hope you can at least understand on some level why there was that huge peganon hiatus.
Keep being awesome <3