Boo. So... I have had a bunch of new Ideas for that story Including that mysterious pegasus' new name.(an actual pony name!!!)

1395077 well then in that case....

1393877 Alright where to begin. I think the story concept is really good, it has a good mix of dark and comedy, with the right amount of action. I think it has a lot of potential. I also like how you portray the characters, stating right off the bat that this is an alternate univers but keeping it believable. The only bad thing is that things felt very rushed, almost to the point that it was almost difficult to read, and that things where left out. So I think going over it again would be a very good idea, and if you would like any help I could give you a hand. It's just that right now I'm stuck using my phone untill I get a new charger for my laptop, but still I would love to help out as much as I can.

Though I need to know with this story... what were the favorite parts of the chapters for you. Cause I'm thinking about revamping it and going about it in a new way.

HAT TRICK!!!