I'm looking for someone willing to pass a hawkish eye over the drivel that I strive to produce.

If you've got the inclination for, and experience in, presiding over a poor author's work, like a judge sentencing punishment upon the guilty, then I humbly request that you smack me around with a gavel grant me the privilege of your adjudicating criticism concerning whether my writing is fit for the human eye or not.

In less words: I need help editing.