Hey everypony, I'm still working on the story. Which is turning out very hard. For the fact I'm trying to edit every last bit of my story. f0xhole is helping me with it, again big props to him for helping me. So keep up the commenting and rating and more will be on the way. By the way, don't hesitate to ask what can be improved in some paragraphs and sentences.

The thoughts that count has been edited. Re-read it an tell me what you think.

I'm starting to get the hang of writing more artistically and descriptive. Let me now how it looks. If it's getting good, I'll keep at it. If it's getting worse, I can fix it. And rate it every time Something better is added to the story. Peace out :p

Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with my story. But if it needs editing, tell me what I should fix. Post a comment explaining what needs fixing.

According to br0n33b0l, I could use an editor. Who's up for fixing my chapters. See if u can make them better. But leave the scenes as is. Just edit some words or add some more sentences.

Well, my first attempt at writing a fanfic was a success. I already gotten like several views and likes in just ten minutes. What I also want to ask, is what you think of my story so far. Leave comments if you want to. Again thank you.