"Oh, boy! What are you going to tell us today, Mister Rust?"

Billy... who let you out of the basement?

>be 13-year-old Rust
>beta as all hell, puberty has not yet granted massive wang

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"Hey, Mister Rust! Look! Look at this! You've got 1,500 followers!"

Well, shit! I mean... shit! That's a lot of people. That's... fuck, I've got more people following me than money in my bank account. Between you and me, though, I already know which holds more value. Oh, gosh, I don't know who thank... except you guys.

I SHALL NOW MAKE SWEET COITUS TO YOU AS A REWARD FOR YOUR BENEVOLENCE.

"Really!?"

Well, okay, not really. Chill out Billy, don't get your knickers in a twist. In reality, someone decided to do a reading of my one-shot drunkfic, which, by the way, is ironic, because it's some of my best writing ever. And he sounds a little like Mike Tyson.

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For those of you unaware of the story I'm currently working on at the moment, let me introduce you to my bouncing baby girl, Dark Side of the Moon.

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>Sees people bemoaning the state of the writing fandom
>WTF is this shit
>Flips desk
>Pauses
>Puts desk upright
>"Sorry, desk."
>Storms out of room
>Kicks fluffy cat
>"RAGS, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!"
>Sits back down
>Addresses the issue in a calm, collected manner
>Grows a mustache.

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Read this story, and be amazed, for it is truly glorious to behold. A bit lengthy, yes, but it is shaping up to be a true masterpiece of work. We need to get this featured, now. But I need your help to do that!

You know what to do, my fellow pony lovers. Go forth and spread the word.

I finally got off duty. So that's been over two days straight of non-stop calls, rain, falling trees, snapped power lines, and old people complaining about their candles going out.

I have never been so tired in my life.

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Now, then.

As some of you may have noticed, my work output has dropped dramatically, as of late. I have a very good reason for this. At the start of last spring, an idea took root in my head, and refused to leave. That idea eventually blossomed into a fully-grown ambition, ripe with the fruits of possibility. I have been working hard towards fulfilling that wish, and over the course of the next two days, I will see it fulfilled.

I am joining the Unites States military.

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I took a bet today.

The bet was to write something while intoxicated (3 beers min) and have it be a decent read.

In a while, you'll see why I just won $50.