Meet Daniel, a dimwitted dunderhead, mild kleptomaniac, and lover of cat memes. When a coworker recommends Equestria Online, he decides to give the game a shot. He discovers a world filled with friendship, ponies, a hug button, and lots of shiny things to steal. He’s more interested in messing with NPCs, than the magic of friendship.

CelestAI has outwitted politicians, scientists, and geniuses of all calibers in dangerous games of logic and intrigue. But can she satisfy the values of a human that is a few fries short of a Happy Meal? Or has she met a human that even she cannot optimize?

An Optimalverse parody.