The life lessons we learned this week:

-Cicadas are loud. This year is a rarity, multiple cicada broods have emerged, something that hasn't happened since 1803. The police are powerless to stop horny insects.

-Don't smuggle drugs of any kind. Drugs are bad. Mm-Kay? If you are going to smuggle drugs in your car, obey all the traffic laws so you don't get pulled over. Also: Holy shit! That's a lot of heroin!

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In case you're a normie or know nothing about Warhammer 40,000, I'll catch you up. The Custodes, the personal bodyguards for the God-Emperor of Man, just recently released a new codex, a book that contains the rules and lore tidbits for the faction. In a single paragraph bit of fluff it tells the story of a female Custodes. I won't go all that deep into the lore and fluff of that story. I get it, their feelings are valid about this change that came completely out of seemingly nowhere. What I

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This week the life lessons we learned:

-If you're bitten by a venomous snake, maybe don't bring it with you to the ER, just leave the snake alone and vacate the area immediately. The ER people have tests they can perform to determine if you need antivenom and what kind.

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Surprisingly this week there are no Florida man stories.

The life lessons we learned this week:

-When using a picture on a news broadcast, maybe do a quick last second double check. I'm not sure how the standards and practices are for Mexican networks, but if they're anything like how they are in the U. S., someone is getting fired super hard.

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This week's life lessons learned:

-Keep an eye on your crotch goblins or they may very well steal your car. Though this kid kinda, sorta had a good reason.

-Don't make fun of people with Down's Syndrome. Nobody will feel bad when you get your ass kicked.

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This week the life lessons we learned:
-Don't be in a troupe of monkeys in Thailand and get into a fight with another troupe of monkeys. Apparently the police will arrest you. Which just begs the questions: Is there monkey jail? Are there monkey lawyers? Are there monkey courts and judges?

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This episode just has a lot of people being assholes unnecessarily.

On this episode, the life lessons we learned:

-Don't steal cars or attempt to steal cars. If you do, choose something better to conceal your face than a underwear.

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This week the life lessons we learned are:

-Do not impersonate cops, they don't like it and will arrest you.

-You could be minding your own business going to the store or walking down the street or whatever and suddenly naked stranger...and you know it's never going to be someone you want to see naked.

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Today's lessons learned:

-When you stop somewhere, take your car keys with you, apparently kids be crimeing
-When joining a Zoom call on public renovations, put you one-eyed wonder weasel away. Anyone who wants to see it or experience you doing a single arm workout with no weight will ask.

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