But before that, Amit's Guide To Not Doing Stupid Shit.

>middle of countryside, writing
>realise need for urination
>note presence of window before a table
>note possibility of pissing out the window past the table
>realise need for arse-sticking window due to table
>realise need for comically long cardboard funnel
>realise that the height of the window ensures that feet will not be guarded
>realise massive risk
>realise lack of prize

Read More

A great amount of people seem to be ashamed of their pony writing; I happily tell my family and brag to them about it, to the point that one of the first things my mother asked me when we phoned was:

"So, how is your story-writing?"

"Okay-okay. I wrote, er, two or three stories, but I don't think that any of them are of sufficient quality for you to appreciate."

"Oh. And your - your fanfiction?"

"Well, yeah - that's what I was speaking of."

Read More

oh my god I was such a cheeky little bugger with no knowledge of paragraphing and signed this with my real name and it was a parody of a pornographic fiction and I knew the word 'cock' - oh my god I think I didn't say 'dick' because it would be inappropriate - and this was my second fanfic ever and I'm cringing and d'awwing at the same time and my spelling was American and oh my god periods in brackets and I totally bragged to my little sister about the positive comment I got on it I can't even

Read More

I'll probably end up using this space a bit more for non-my-story-related purposes. If this is annoying, feel free to say; if you disagree with what I have to say, feel free to argue.

The first review/essay might be offensive to Yasser Arafat fanboys and some people who call themselves 'bronies'.

The second essay might be offensive to people from that disgusting, pathetic island-country in which I was expelled from the womb.

Read More

As I will not be able to do anything on the internet for a while and so won't be present when it's finally live, have the link for this story before it's approved.

In case you're wondering or care, I've finished the fourth chapter of Dawn but I'll probably have to write a chapter linking it and the third.

Read More

It appears that I wrote the essay for this fic offline, and so I present it here in its full lack of glory. I'd honestly suggest that you read it only after finishing the story itself.

Read More

I've always had a healthy disregard for Mother Nature.

Being as she is an anthropomorphisation of a nonsentient system, she has taken on a similar disregard for me.

(insert totally badass picture of my bramble-torn hands here which I couldn't take because my phone got a wash in the sea as I played Survivor: Bretagne until someone heard my occasional 'au secours')

Read More

I've tagged Twilight Discovers Literary Analysis here because it's based on one of its themes. If you're not interested, feel free not to read this; it isn't required in any sort of way for an understanding of the story.

Read More

There are a few works I've written and never finished; some of these works are utterly horrid, some of these works have concepts that can't really be expressed in written form and then there are stupid ideas altogether.

Take, for example, this idea which I picked up a few months ago, tried writing out a few days ago and whose sheer stupidity I found myself realising with dawning horror:

The Great War for Celestia: The Conquest of the Earth Ponies

Read More

I find it rather interesting that some people, having been in the same situation as Lyra in Judgement, can feel it to be authentic.

This is because I literally have no intuitive or actual understanding of romance, in general. I've never felt any real romantic love for another person and I have no urge to.

Read More