Ladies and gentlemen and boys and girls; please be seated and turn off your cell phones. And please be respectful to those around you. And now we present to you..Sock Puppet theater...
*Audience claps*
*Curtains open*
*Sock Puppet comes out*
Sock Puppet: Hello wittle boys and wittle girls! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! For starters, I need to tell you all for legal reasons that I am not a pedophile in any way...yup...I'm certainly not going to kidnap your kids after the show. There certainly isn't a pedo bear waiting at the exit to steal your wittle boys and wittle girls and take them back to my dungeon...I mean happy farm. So do not worry if your children goes missing after the show, chances are, they are with a crack dealer or some shit...

So for today's show, WE'VE GOT SOME EXCITING NEWS!!! PERSON WITH A LUNA PIC FOR A FACE THAT GOES BY THE NAME OF FROSTY3 FAVORITED UNIVERSAL MAGIC... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! ISN'T THAT AMAZING EVERYONE!?

Man 1: Who the fuck is Frosty3 and what the fuck is Universal Magic!?

SP: Sir, sir...I'm going to have to ask you to settle down, or else I'm going to have to do something...you want me to kick your ass...I'll kick your ass right here, right now. So shut the FUCK up you bastard...

Now, in celebration, we're going to be singing a song. I'm assuming you know the lyrics so sing along boys and girls!
*Sock Puppet gets out a guitar and starts playing somehow*

AIDS
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE FROM AIDS
AIDS
WE'RE ALL GOING TO SUFFER GODS WRATH
AND HE SHALL STRIKE WITH DUPER DUPER AIDS
WHEN WE LEAST EXPECT IT
WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING IN YOUR BEDS
JESUS IS GOING TO COME DOWN
FROM THE HEAVENS ABOVE
AND GIVE EVERYONE AIDS
YES, HE'LL GIVE YOU AIDS
AND YOU WILL ALL PERISH FROM GOD'S WRATH
YES, YOU WILL ALL DIE
EVEN THE WITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS
EVEN THE WITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS
AND YOU MAY ASK
WHY IS GOD ANGRY
WELL TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH
IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU ALL TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT
AIDS
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE FROM AIDS
AIDS
WE'RE ALL GOING TO SUFFER GODS WRATH
AND HE SHALL STRIKE WITH DUPER DUPER AIDS
HOOKY DOOKY AIDS
YAAAAAAAAAAAY! Wasn't that fun kids!?

Man 1: BOOOO! YOU STINK!

SP: OK, clearly you don't know when to shut the fuck up...TAKE HIM TO THE CONCENTRATION CAMP!

*The security guards takes the man away to the concentration Sunshine Camp*

SP: Well it looks like we're out of time and I think I'm starting to hear the police sirens somewhere in the distance. It looks like they finally caught on to my tax evasions and embezzlement to the IRS. SO HOW ABOUT ONE MORE SONG!!!... and then i'll take your kids...

*Children start crying...*

SP: HEY! YOU LITTLE FUCKERS SHUT THE FUCK UP...YOU HEAR ME!? SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M SINGING YOU ALL A SONG AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT...YOU FUCKERS!!!

*SP starts playing the guitar...*

I killed a person
The other day when I went to the park
He looked at me kind of funny
As I was kind of high
I had just taken some bath salts and I was tripping balls
So when I saw the guy
I thought he was from the IRS
So I took a big tree branch
And whacked him on the head until he started bleeding
His skull cracked
And the red blood came pouring out
I had to hide the body
Once the bath salts wore off
And so I hid the body
In a place the police wouldn't think twice to look
Somewhere in New York
And if they ever found the body
I made sure the evidence don't lead to me
Instead, the evidence will lead
To a guy named Jeff on third street
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

*The police sirens get closer and closer...*

SP: Well good night everybody. A big thanks to some guy named frosty3...he uhh...Favorited a story...and...now I will try to take your kids. GOODBYE EVERYBODY...

*SP walks off stage and the curtain falls...*
THE END....
--------------------
By the way, may I ask how you came across finding my story? Out of curiosity...

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