497875

Your writing style is fine IMO, and your story pacing is not so bad for an improvised fanfic. (yeah, missing the confrontation with Celestia, but otherwise good)
You mostly need reason and logic to formulate a legitime critique on the episode... and many other things.

I see that you also wrote Conversion Burau stories. I might check those series out someday, because they have an interesting concept, too.

497842
Who's to say? But if I'm to attempt this again, I'll have to get much, much better at writing.

497667

Good idea for a story, although it was clearly flawed, and thus the critics ripped it apart mercilessly.

Without going into details, I consider Shining & Cadance to be the worst characters in the show, find The Crystal Empire an utter dissapointment, and have a vitriolic hatred against Magical Mystery Cure.

I am what people would perhaps call a "brony heretic". I feel free to deny certain parts of the show's canon. (not that it really matters unless I start writing fanfiction...)

The idea of a Celestia being a benevolent dictator and puppetmaster keeping Equestria in perfect order has always bothered me, especially in the two episodes above.
Perhaps one day I will write a story about this, perhaps I won't.

We both know and feel that Magical Mystery Cure is simply wrong, no matter what happens in Season 4 and beyond.
Since your fic had great potential, I advise you to try it again someday. Who knows what you might pull off?

Thanks for faving The Voice of Reason!