I am True Soviet. To be true Soviet, one must know who great leader is. Now, great leader is Putin.

How to be True Soviet:
1. Know Dear Leader.
2. Work fields night and day. True Soviets love hard labor.
3. Not retreat. True Soviets will die gloriously.
4. Not die. True Soviet never dies. True soviet sleep in hole marked with rock until ground thaw in June.
5. No reservations. Man with reservations is not True Soviet.
6. Love glorious Motherland. True Soviet will give up everything for great Motherland Russia.
7. Drink all vodka rations. True Soviet is never sober.
8. Drink only from Volga. Volga has had much blood from much True Soviet death. Volga water make Soviet strong.