A couple of things. Firstly, I really like your ideas, especially with Good Girl and Can I Come With You. The fact that you made Screwloose, a largely ignored and uncharacteristic pony, into an actual character is quite impressive. Also, your characterization of the Doctor is spot on. That's a big point in my book. Second, I like your style of writing. It's nicely paced and very engaging. That's pretty much it, and I can't wait to see more.