Ever wonder what a regular day is like for the Fluffle Puff Pony? You did? Someone has a lot of time on their hands...
The Fluffle Puff Pony. A legendary equine that comes around only once every thousand years. And she lives in Twilight's library! Take a trip to Ponyville and see an average day in the life for the one, the only, the inexplicably fluffy, Fluffle Puff, as she fluffs, and she puffs, and she blows Ponyville down!
I in no way own Fluffle Puff or anything related to her. I am but a humble fan entranced by her antics.
Fluffle Puff awoke with a sharp inhaling gasp. Why? She always slept facing a painting of a shaven pony: her worst nightmare. One day she would conquer her fear of them, but until then, a painting would have to do. It didn't help that she was afraid of paintings as well.
Looking around, she noticed a particular absence of food. This wouldn't do. She would need to locate the Mistress of the Tree, the God of Food, the Ruler of all things purple, Twilight Sparkle, as well as the spiky one, Cocoa, the Mail Dragon. But first, exercises. It ain't easy being fluffy.
8:07 am: Ponyville Library-Stairs
Rocking herself back and forth, Fluffle Puff rolled herself down the stairs, leaving each step squeaky clean. Ah, the benefits of fluff. She hurled herself into the kitchen as one would a frilly bowling ball. Coming to a stop, she looked around and saw Twilight eating her morning cupcake, narrowing her eyes at Fluffle Puff. Twilight lifted a hoof, pointing to Mail Dragon, who at some point had been caught up in her fluff. Fluffle Puff smiled at Cocoa, who glared in response, and pulled him out with her mouth. She set him down gently and he walked away, muttering about something fluffy bitterly.
Fluffle Puff strode up to Twilight and stuck out her tongue, clearly because sticking your tongue out was a universal sign for wanting food. It was first grade stuff, just like breathing, and the study of wumbology. Not that she'd gone to first grade. Who needed school when you had swag fluff.
"Fluffle Puff, didn't I tell you not to roll around like that? You could hurt somepony!"
The Ruler was angry with something she'd done. She didn't know what though; There was too much fur covering her ears to hear anything properly. It was inconvenient at times, but she got along swimmingly with deaf ponies. She got close and nuzzled Twilight, taking in the smell of her mane. She smelled positively purple today!
Twilight rolled her eyes and levitated her a bowl of Froot Hoops, complete with milk and copious amounts of sugar. Fluffle Puff gasped as her pupils dilated to an unreasonable size. Her tongue stretched out of her mouth and wrapped itself around a single Froot Hoop. She swallowed it and, finding it to her liking, promptly shoved her face in the bowl, sending milk and cereal everywhere in the kitchen, drenching Fluffle Puff and Twilight in its sugary embrace. Taking her head out, she grinned at Twilight and gave her a big, sloppy hug. A hug that lasted far too long. A hug that stretched the very fabric of time and space itself. A hug that...well...you get the point. Hugs were Fluffle Puff's specialty. There wasn't a single kind of hug that was beyond her abilities. Whether it was the standard single fore-hoof hug, or the rolling side hug, or even the against one's will hug, she could do it.
Having finished breakfast, Fluffle Puff was ready to begin her day. She took a look at her day planner. She had a lot to do. Unfortunately, she didn't know what it was she had to do because her day planner was actually just a cucumber. Go figure. She nibbled it a bit, and threw it back in her fur, where she kept all her precious things.
Gathering momentum, she moved into a full roll, bursting out of the front door, leaving a very angry, very flat, dragon bulldozed into the floor.
8:56 am: Ponyville Streets-Outside Flower Shop
After rolling around Ponyville for a while contemplating the meaning of life, Fluffle Puff recalled a weekly tradition of hers. Ceasing her rolling, she crouched down and glanced around. Nopony there...perfect.
Activating Mode F11: Ninja Fluffle Puff
A red headband appeared on her forehead bearing a ninja crest. She hopped behind the nearest flower pot and moved closer to the flower shop, moving between each flower pot. It was then her main target appeared; a cream coloured mare with an auburn mane and tail. She was carrying a water pail between her teeth, tending to some of the flowers outside of her shop. She knew not of her name, but simply chose to call her: Zeus, God of the Flowering.
Now that she was in her sights, Fluffle Puff would need to patiently wait for the right moment to strike. If she was even a millisecond wrong with her decision, the whole operation could be jeopardized. She watched attentively as Zeus went back into her shop. It was only a matter of time.
8:57am: Ponyville Streets-Behind Flower Pot
Fluffle Puff had waited for was seemed like an eternity. Her patience was withering, and her resolve was breaking. She couldn't take anymore of this. However, just as all seemed hopeless, the Flower God reemerged from her shop, carrying with her a large bundle of roses. Fluffle Puff's vigor was suddenly renewed; she sneaked closer to the mare. Now was the time to strike.
Fluffle Puff pounced on Zeus with an excitement that matched no other. The mare was quickly caught up in her fur, and the two rolled into the streets of Ponyville. Stopping suddenly, the pink cotton ball sent Zeus spiralling down the street. Fluffle Puff looked back at her fur and gasped in excitement.
Operation Flower Puff: Successful
A plethora of dark crimson roses protruded from her bright pink fur, giving her a flowery appearance, and a lovely smell.
"Ahem."
She turned to see Zeus with an angry expression on her face. This wouldn't go over well if she stayed any longer. This hadn't been the first time she'd tried Operation Flower Puff, but it'd been the first time she'd gotten this far. Every one of her 62 attempts had been stopped by police ponies. She wouldn't let the cops take her alive this time! She would need to use the techniques given to her by the Great Pinkamena Diane Pie to get out of this situation.
Activating Mode B4: Bouncy Fluffle Puff
Fluffle Puff's fur suddenly contracted, as she started to bounce, each bounce gaining her more height than the last. With one final test bounce, she sprang herself over a nearby building, continuing to bounce until she was in the clear. Reaching the safe zone of the Carousel Boutique, she reverted to normal and let out a giggle.
An alabaster mare looked up from her sewing machine in surprise as she heard a large noise from outside her house/business. This mare was known by many titles; fashionista, Element of Generosity, large hat enthusiast, marshmallow, ect. Her friends just called the mare Rarity.
Rarity trotted to her door and nervously opened it, only to be horrified at the sight which she beheld. Standing in a small crater in her pathway was a pink plushie pony covered in roses, with more fur than her body should have had room for. She briefly recalled the name of this pony; Fluffle Puff if she remembered correctly. She didn't have much of an idea where this pony had come from, or what her relationship was to Twilight, but she did know one thing about the over sized cotton-ball. It was simply an atrocity to fashion. The fashion police would beat her down in the streets at the sight of her, but Rarity aimed to change that. She would give her a make-over so dazzling, it would make the pony shed tears at the mere sight of it.
Of course, before that, she would need to stop the pony from eating tulips; Her tulips. And she had just hired somepony to plant those too...
9:04 am: Carousel Boutique-Inside Store
Fluffle Puff looked around the store in awe and wonder. She'd never seen so many shiny pieces of fabric being sold at such ridiculously high prices before. Rarity had ushered her in to her store after levitating the flowers out of her mouth, and had proceeded to measure her. According to her measurements, she was a size XXXXL. She celebrated to herself, happy she'd gone down a size. Maybe she'd be able to fit into that sumo wrestling costume by the end of the month after all.
Rarity put down her measuring equipment and sighed. "Darn. My store doesn't carry a single piece of clothing in your size. I'll have to make you something by the end of this week. In the meantime, I'll have to do something about this messy fur of yours."
Rarity levitated the roses from Fluffle Puff's previous mission out of her fur, leaving a very disheartened looking Fluffle Puff.
Rarity gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, darling. You can have the roses back after I'm done styling your coat...and mane...I'm sorry, are your coat and mane different from each other at all?"
Fluffle Puff was quick to respond to her, immediately shuffling over to the nearest dress and taking a bite out of it.
The fashion designer stared at her in confusion. "O..kay then, moving on, i guess." Rarity levitated a pair of scissors over and showed them to Fluffle Puff. "I think it's about time for a trim."
Rarity moved the scissors closer to Fluffle Puff and realized her error. There was no way her measly scissors would be able to cut that puff-ball of a pony's fur. She needed something larger. Much larger.
9:20 am: Carousel Boutique-Inside Store
After searching for a few minutes, Rarity managed to locate some garden shears; These would do the trick. Rarity had never actually gardened with the shears before, but she had needed their use when a pony one day walked into her shop with particularly large set of eyebrows. Let nopony say that Rarity didn't take care of her customers.
She snipped them a few times to test their sharpness, or in scientific terms, sharpocity. "These will do the trick! Now come here, darling. We're going to finally give your fur the cut it so desperately needs."
Fluffle Puff was no stranger to ponies targeting her fur. She managed to avoid the greatest hairdressers in the world, and there was no way she'd let just anypony cut her gorgeous locks.
Activating Mode C6: Porcupine Fluffle Puff
Fluffle Puff's fur began to stand on end, branching out in hard, metallic spikes. Rarity, although confused by the spectacle, continued with her garden shears. They snipped at the ends of her fur, but to no avail. In Mode C6, Fluffle Puff's fur became harder than steel and silly putty combined. It was an ability passed down through the Fluffy Pony bloodline, starting all the way back at her great great grandmother, Puffle Fluff, who was known for being a deadly weapon, as well as a fairly good heat source during the winter.
"T-That's...how did you...but..." Rarity struggled to keep her jaw from hitting the ground, but was more or less failing. She straightened herself and took a deep breath to help get over Fluffle Puff's inherent super fur. It seemed as though she wasn't the first pony to try cutting it. "Alright, if I can't cut your hair, maybe i can do something else with it."
Rarity scanned her shop for anything that could bring Fluffle Puff back down to some state of normalcy. An idea came to her. "Ah, perfect!" she said, levitating a large jar of hair gel over. "If i can't cut your hair, I could at the very least style it. I mean, how hard could it be?"
11:27 am: Carousel Boutique-Inside Shop
Rarity dropped to the floor in complete exhaustion. She had been styling Fluffle Puff's mane for over two hours, and it took a hefty toll on her body. Now you may ask, "Why would styling somepony's fur be tiring?" Well, clearly you don't know a thing about gelling large, living cotton-balls. Near the end, styling Fluffle Puff's fur became like bending a spoon...with your mind...in a snowstorm...It was hard, okay?
Rarity turned her head and seeing the final product, gave a tiny smile. "Fluffle Puff, darling? Would you be a dear and step in front of that mirror for me?"
Fluffle Puff did so, for once actually being able to hear something somepony told her. She didn't like that. Words sounded...wordy.
However, her thoughts on hearing were drown out by the sound of her own squeeing. She saw a mare in the mirror that looked a little something like this:
Boy she hoped that was her. If not, she was totally stealing her colour scheme. Fluffle Puff looked around wildly, searching for her roses. She galloped - for the first time in about 7 years - over to them and, scooping them up with her mouth, bolted out of the shop, needing to show the world her new coat.
Rarity cherished the pony's happiness with her work. It felt good to correct nature's fashion mistake, once and for all. she lifted herself up and staggered to the door to see her off. However, upon reaching her door, she was met with an infuriating sight. They say a picture tells a thousand words, right?:
"Oops, sorry Fluffle Puff, didn't see you there," said Rainbow Dash, Ponyville's renowned ace in the art of flying, as well as the art of crashing, holding a cloud.
Rarity's eye twitched rapidly. So much for once and for all.
Oh, and despite what you might hear, wet mane is not a sexier look for every pony.
Chapter Three: Thomas, The Little Train That Couldn't
12:00 pm: Ponyville Streets-Market
Mister Shining Sun was high in the sky as the 'born again fluffy' Fluffle Puff strode through the market place, happy as a horse. She had initially been sad about losing her new manestyle, but Fluffle Puff had never been one to dwell on things for too long. Or even remember them. Who were you people again?
Walking past the window of the recently opened shop, Prankster's Paradise, she noticed something interesting out of the corner of her eye. Something that made her eyes twinkle and her jaw drop. Something that trumped every other thing that ever existed.
A fake mustache.
Now, Fluffle Puff needed more hair on her body like a fish needed a bicycle – a lot. How else would a fish beat the other fish upstream without a bicycle? However, she wasn't on the best terms with the employees of the store after she ate an entire shelf of fake gum about a week ago. That didn't really stop her from continuing to visit the shop on a daily basis though. Most of the time she just opened up the cans of fake peanut brittle, but today, she was going to buy that mustache, whether they wanted her to or not.
Fluffle Puff walked into the brightly decorated store, taking in the sights she saw daily. The store was painted bright pink, matching the goods of the store, as well as Fluffle Puff. Pranking items lined the walls, giving the store a child-like vibe to it. Fluffle Puff felt at home here.
Upon entering the store, a young employee unicorn approached the entrance with a cheery demeanor on his face to greet Fluffle Puff.
"Hi there, do need help finding anything to-...oh, its just you." His cheery demeanor quickly turned to one of boredom. "For the fourth time this week, no, we do not have any silly string. You bought every single box we had."
"pffftftpfpfffttff," she said delicately, blowing a raspberry in the employee's face.
He let out a drawn out sigh. "What do you want, Miss?"
She pointed to the fake mustache sitting on the highest part of the largest shelf. The employee levitated it down and gave it to Fluffle Puff, but not before giving her a stern look.
"Now I know you bought all that silly string a while back, but since that you've just been browsing day in and day out. Are you actually going to purchase this today?"
She reached into her fur and pulled out a hoof full of bits. Before the employee had time to be surprised, she shoved the bits in his mouth and proceeded to claim her mustache prize. He spit the bits out and began furiously wiping his tongue. He was about 80% sure he tasted fluff.
"Bleah! Why did you do that?!" he shouted. "And how in the world did you get so many bits?"
Fluffle Puff, seemly understanding his confusion, took the employee's hoof and led him to the store window. Just as the employee was going to comment on the action, she pointed her hoof at billboard near the shop. He squinted, reading the word aloud off the billboard.
"Fluffle Puff, District Attorney...DISTRICT ATTORNEY?! How in the world are you a District Attorney? I haven't even seen you speak before, let alone practice law! And why is your occupation on a billboard anyw-HEY, STOP LICKING THAT SILLY PUTTY!"
She put on the mustache and looked back and forth, as if implying she had done no such thing.
The employee face hoofed. "Mother of Celestia, just take your mustache and get out..."
12:46 pm: Ponyville Streets-Some Other Area
The newly mustachioed Fluffle Puff was wandering Ponyville, looking for something to do, when she spotted a large group of ponies surrounding a caravan. Intrigued, she made her way over to the caravan to see what everypony was there for. She was surprised to see that the ponies that surrounded the caravan weren't very happy and seemed to be directing that unhappiness towards a blue unicorn mare with a purple wizard's hat and matching cape, as well a pale blue mane. She appeared to be laughing at a crestfallen mare who was walking off the caravan stage with her head down.
"Haha, The Great and Powerful Trixie once again triumphs over another one of you pathetic ponies," she said in the third person. "Hmm, I think one more pony should do. Who else among you thinks they have what it takes to best The Great and Powerful Trixie?"
A stallion in the crowd spoke up. "W-Why are you doing this, Trixie? D-Do you have to humiliate your crowd during your shows? And didn't Twilight Sparkle run you out of town?"
A bolt of lightning from Trixie's horn struck near his hoof, causing the stallion to yelp out of fear. "Trixie will answer none of those questions! Now if you want to do something, challenge me on the stage."
The stallion looked as if he wanted to, but reluctantly stood down. Trixie scoffed at the pony. "Don't have the courage, huh? Fine. Does anypony else have the nerve to stand up to Trixie?"
The crowd backed up, trying to escape Trixie's question. It was then that Fluffle Puff saw her chance. She darted through the gaps in the crowd and made her way to the front, wanting to see what was going on better. Trixie immediately took notice of the pony and called out to her.
"You," she said, pointing her hoof at Fluffle Puff. "The furry one with the mustache. I take it you would like to challenge Trixie?"
Fluffle Puff stuck her tongue out, which the crowd took as an insult towards Trixie. A chorus of 'oh's and 'burn's could be heard throughout the crowd. Trixie also thought of the action as an insult to her, as she suddenly levitated Fluffle Puff up onto the stage.
"Don't get so arrogant, Fluffleball," she said, clearly trying to intimidate the pony before her. "Because Trixie is nice, she will let you pick what Trixie will best you at. Go ahead, choose."
Fluffle Puff trotted up closer to Trixie, making the magician mare wonder just what Fluffle Puff was doing. Doing what was probably last on Trixie's list, Fluffle Puff reached out a hoof and put Trixie in one of her traditional fluffy embraces. "Hey, what are yo-quit it ou-STOP HUGGING TRIXIE!"
Trixie quickly backed away from the fluffy pony, flustered that she was being hugged in front of so many ponies. She dusted off her cape in an attempt to brush off the hug as nothing, but her audience wasn't buying it. As embarrassment turned to irritation, she addressed Fluffle Puff again.
"Pick your event now so that The Great and Powerful Trixie may crush you! What is it, strength, speed, magic? Choose already," she yelled, taking her hat off and putting it in Fluffle Puff's face. With a spark of her horn, a bouquet of paper flowers grew out of the hat and engulfed Fluffle Puff's face, leaving her staring into the fake greenery.
Trixie smirked. "Oh, have you already given up? Figures as much. Obviously there isn't a pony alive that can match-"
Trixie's narcissistic drone came to an end at the sight of the pony in front of her eating the flowers she had produced through her hat. Was eating strange things her special talent? She looked to the audience to gauge their reaction to what was happening, and found most of them had wide grins plastered on their faces.
The pony Trixie had nearly struck with lightning came out of the crowd and approached the stage. "Well, Trixie," he said smugly. "Are you going to eat those paper flowers too, or do you forfeit?"
Suddenly, the audience broke out into murmurs of agreement and began to chant. "FLOW-ERS, FLOW-ERS, FLOW-ERS!" Trixie cringed at the horrid realization that she would need to eat her own flowers to best the fluffy pony.
Trixie let out a nervous laugh. "Ha, such a thing is easy for the Great and Powerful Trixie! Watch and observe!" She spawned more paper flowers in her hat and examined them to find a way that they could be ingested. She failed to find one. Her lips trembled as she moved her mouth forward, intent on pleasing her audience. The audience watched in palpable suspense, wanting to see The "Great and Powerful" Trixie eat paper. She got closer and closer to the flowers and-
"I can't! Trixie cannot eat this! It's impossible. How can a pony eat paper?! The Great and Powerful Trixie...must concede defeat to you..."
The audience erupted into cheers, screaming Fluffle Puff's name. The ponies near the front jumped up on stage and hoisted the fluffy pony into the air, celebrating the town's victory against Trixie. In all the commotion, Fluffle Puff's mustache was knocked off directly into the face of a nearby stallion. He stared at the mustache in disgust.
"Wait a minute," he said. "This isn't a real mustache. It's fake! Hey everypony, she's a phony! A big fat phon-oof." The accusing stallion was trampled by the rest of the crowd trying to congratulate Fluffle Puff. Riding on the backs of the grateful audience, Fluffle Puff was carried off into town, giggling like an otter. Otters giggle, right?
Fluffle Puff and The Changeling Queen, Chrysalis, sprang from their fort of evil and went into immediate action. Their target: a precious treasure guarded by only the best in magical security. Fluffle Puff dolphin-dived onto the floor beside the treasure.
"Deploy the aerosol!" barked Chrysalis.
Fluffle Puff sprayed the air around the target with aerosol, revealing red laser beams surrounding the treasure from every direction.
Every direction but above that is.
Chrysalis enveloped her in a magical aura and lifted her above the lasers. Careful not to trip any of the lasers on the way, she lowered Fluffle Puff down directly above their goal.
"You know what to do from here," said Chrysalis warily. "If you mess up, we're done for."
Fluffle gave Chrysalis a quick salute and looked back at the task at hand; in order to disarm the alarm system, she would need to dismantle the device. She opened a small gray box on the side of the device and gasped. It was a double wire set, meaning she would need to guess which of the two wires to cut to take out the lasers.
"pfft~" she said, telling Chrysalis her dilemma.
"Two wires?!"
Evidently, Chrysalis spoke Fluffanese.
"Damn!" she cursed. "It doesn't matter, we've come too far to give up now. Take your best guess."
Fluffle Puff gulped and looked back at the wires. It was the standard red and blue wires, just like every tv bomb disarming ever made. She looked between the two, attempting to decide which she would cut. Adrenaline pumped through her furry body, causing her to sweat profusely. After giving them a thorough analysis, she made her decision.
She would cut the red.
Chrysalis clenched her teeth as Fluffle Puff's pliers made their way towards the red wire. Every second that passed seemed like slightly more than a second. With one final motion, Fluffle Puff closed her eyes and snipped the wire.
A moment passed...then another...then another...
Fluffle Puff opened her eyes to see a severe lack of lasers, which made both Fluffle Puff and Chrysalis squeal with delight.
They had done it.
Fluffle Puff retrieved the treasure while Chrysalis levitated her away.
"FINALLY, AFTER WEEKS OF METICULOUS PLANNING, I FINALLY HAVE THE TREASURE! MWAHAHAHAHAH-err..."
Fluffle Puff gave her a disapproving glare.
"I mean we have the treasure."
She gave her an approving glare, which was really just a strange contortion of her face, and examined their find. There wasn't a more valuable treasure in Equestria than the one before them. The Crystal Skull was just some ordinary see-through skull in comparison. The two would make sure to put this to good use.
Chrysalis stomped impatiently. "Well, go on, put your hoof in it already."
Her hooves trembled, her eyes twinkled, her nose itched, her fur...remained furry. This was the moment she'd been waiting for. She put her hoof into the jar and-
"What are you two doing?"
Twilight Sparkle stood behind them in the Lost Caves, A.K.A., the Library. Damn, caught with her hoof in the cookie jar...literally.
"What have I told you two about eating all the cookies?! The library doesn't have the funds to keep buying cookies every day because you two eat them all. Therefore, you are both limited to a cookie a day. Nothing beyond that. That's why I set up a very powerful and expensive magical device to keep you out of the cookie jar. In the long run, it will save us money."
Twilight snatched the cookie jar from Fluffle Puff with her magic while Chrysalis uncharacteristically whimpered and Fluffle Puff teared up.
"W-We were so close, F-Fluffle Puff," sniffled Chrysalis.
Fluffle Puff took a full box of tissues out of her fur and blew her nose with them, finally beginning to let her tears flow. Twilight watched the scene in frustration. Frustration that she wasn't able to resist the tears of the pony/changeling. The scene was nothing short of heart breaking for Twilight, and she herself began to tear up.
"Oh, you two," she said, stifling back a tear. "You each can have one more cookie, but that's it for today, you hear me?"
"pffftftpfpfffttff~" they both responded, shooting small pieces of cookie into her face.
She huffed tiredly and walked off, muttering something about not knowing the reason Chrysalis even lived at the library. The two turned to each other with grins plastered on their faces, and began laughing.
"Fake tears," Chrysalis laughed. "Works every time with her. It's a good thing you have that stash of chili powder in your fur. Boy, does it ever hurt though. By the way, we only used the aerosol can and the pliers. Why did we need the fishing rod?"
Fluffle Puff stared blankly at the changeling for a few seconds, and then came to a realization. Grabbing the fishing pole, she tossed the line into her fur and began reeling.
"I'm afraid to ask what you're doi-"
Suddenly, a grey stallion with a blue mane was pulled out of her fur on the fishing line. He shook his head for a moment and looked around the room in a panic.
"Could one of you fine ladies tell me what year it is?
"2013."
"Oh my, I should probably get back to my family. Toodles."
The pony scooted out the door, leaving Chrysalis staring at Fluffle Puff with half-lidded eyes.
"You wouldn't happen to have any milk in there, would you?"
"So, let me get this straight," Nurse Redheart said flatly. "You were taking a walk through Everfree Forest, and out of nowhere, a tribe of trained samurai gorillas surrounded you?"
Fluffle Puff nodded vigorously.
"Then, they attacked you with spears and swords, but you defeated all of them in a single blow?"
Fluffle Puff continued nodding, her nose twitching from the newly-applied band-aid.
"Then, as you were leaving the forest, you tripped over a rock and hit your nose, and this is the reason why you are here?"
Fluffle Puff gave one final nod.
"Are you sure that’s what happened? Are you sure you didn't just tip the vending machine in the lobby over onto yourself, like I saw you do 5 minutes ago? That couldn't possibly be the reason?"
Fluffle Puff assumed the stuck out tongue position, completely dissuading any doubts Nurse Redheart had about her statement, except for all of them.
She took a deep breath in an attempt to keep her composure. "Fine, what happened doesn't matter. You just stay here in the infirmary while I fill out some paper work in the back, then you're free to go and fight Godzilla or Ironmare or whoever, alright?"
Smiling, Fluffle Puff pulled Nurse Redheart in close for a hug, lodging the medical mare's head into her fur. After about 30 seconds of Nurse Redheart struggling to get out of Fluffle Puff's hug, she finally freed herself and began gasping for air.
"Fluffle Puff! How many times have I told you not to-...where did my hat go?" She searched the surrounding area until realizing what had happened to it. "Did...did I really just lose my hat in your fur? Celestia's Furry Plot! That is the fourth hat I've lost in there! Ugh, just...just stay here until I come back."
Nurse Redheart exited the infirmary room, leaving a blank-faced Fluffle Puff to her devices. She sat on her bed, perfectly content with wiggling her tongue around, when she heard the patient on the other side of her curtain yelling about something.
"You call this soup!?" an angry male voice bellowed. "This tastes like something urinated in it! I can't believe you'd try to feed me something like this!"
"Sir, this is the standard soup our hospital feeds all our patients," replied an irritated nurse.
"Well then your hospital should stop buying swamp water!" He tossed the soup out a nearby window. "Now make me something else. On the double!"
With a "hmph", the nurse trotted away angrily. Fluffle Puff, out of curiosity, opened the curtain separating the room to see the tall, angry human known as Dan. Gasping, Fluffle Puff moved onto the bed beside him and blew a raspberry for attention.
"What the-...oh, it's you," said Dan. "Can't you see I'm trying to recover in peace here? Frickin' Chrysalis, dropping that big rock on me...and just ‘cause of one tiny bear trap I stuck to her butt. Some ponies cannot take a joke."
Without words, as usual, she moved in and licked his cheek, causing Dan to react slightly.
"DID YOU JUST LICK ME?! YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE-EWW, YOU GOT YOUR SALIVA ALL OVER MY CHEEK! IF YOU DON'T LEAVE RIGHT NOW, FURBALL, I WILL PERSONALLY CONSTRUCT A CAR WASH AND SEND YOU THROUGH IT!"
Discouraged, Fluffle Puff rolled back onto her side of the curtain and began to think of a way to cheer Dan up. She checked the cabinet in her room and found just the supplies she needed...
2:17 pm: No Change in Location
Pushing the curtain back, Fluffle Puff strode up to Dan with a drawing in her mouth. Dan glared at her, grinding his teeth.
"What did I tell you about going awa-...what's this?" Fluffle Puff gave Dan the picture she had been working on. It depicted Dan with large muscles and a lightning bolt in hand wearing, nothing but a toga.
"Wha-psh-the hell-you drew-ah-...not bad. Pretty accurate if I do say so myself-...what are you doing?"
Fluffle Puff stuck her face into Dan's and stared him in the eye. Before he could do anything, she booped his nose and rolled back to her side of the room, giggling with glee. Dan growled from the other side, but wasn't really all that angry due to his new stylish picture. Greek is all the rage these days.
As Fluffle Puff rolled back, Nurse Redheart re-entered the room carrying some paperwork. "All right, you're free to go now," she said. "Try not to fight anymore 'samurai gorillas', okay?"
With a final "ptttf~" to Nurse Redheart, Fluffle Puff was off to go about the rest of her day. Nurse Redheart was just about to start filing some of her paperwork when a fellow nurse burst into the room.
"Nurse Redheart!" she exclaimed. "We need your help right now! There's a large group of gorillas wearing armor outside, and they're all hurt. They say they were attacked by what they called a 'vengeful pink goddess' while training in the Everfree Forest. Come as fast as you can."
For a moment, Nurse Redheart looked like she was about to explode, but merely took a deep breath. "I'll be there in a moment," she replied to her fellow nurse. The white mare winced as she looked at the growing pile of paperwork on her desk. Letting out a sigh, she trotted out of her room to mend the injuries of an impossibility of fluffy proportions.
"Oh, Fluffle Puff, why must you drive me to drink?"
