• Published 23rd Apr 2013
  • 6,452 Views, 131 Comments

A Day In The Life Of Fluffle Puff - Anal Invader



Ever wonder what a regular day is like for the Fluffle Puff Pony? You did? Someone has a lot of time on their hands...

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The Afternoon: Chrysalis Style

Chapter Four: Don't Ghost Ride The Batmobile

1:15 pm: The Lost Caves-The Fort of Doom

"Fishing Rod?"

"pffft~"

"Aerosol?"

"pffft~"

"Pliers?"

"pffftftpfpfffttff~"

"Would you stop spitting on me?"

".....pffft~"

"Whatever, moving out!"

Fluffle Puff and The Changeling Queen, Chrysalis, sprang from their fort of evil and went into immediate action. Their target: a precious treasure guarded by only the best in magical security. Fluffle Puff dolphin-dived onto the floor beside the treasure.

"Deploy the aerosol!" barked Chrysalis.

Fluffle Puff sprayed the air around the target with aerosol, revealing red laser beams surrounding the treasure from every direction.

Every direction but above that is.

Chrysalis enveloped her in a magical aura and lifted her above the lasers. Careful not to trip any of the lasers on the way, she lowered Fluffle Puff down directly above their goal.

"You know what to do from here," said Chrysalis warily. "If you mess up, we're done for."

Fluffle gave Chrysalis a quick salute and looked back at the task at hand; in order to disarm the alarm system, she would need to dismantle the device. She opened a small gray box on the side of the device and gasped. It was a double wire set, meaning she would need to guess which of the two wires to cut to take out the lasers.

"pfft~" she said, telling Chrysalis her dilemma.

"Two wires?!"

Evidently, Chrysalis spoke Fluffanese.

"Damn!" she cursed. "It doesn't matter, we've come too far to give up now. Take your best guess."

Fluffle Puff gulped and looked back at the wires. It was the standard red and blue wires, just like every tv bomb disarming ever made. She looked between the two, attempting to decide which she would cut. Adrenaline pumped through her furry body, causing her to sweat profusely. After giving them a thorough analysis, she made her decision.

She would cut the red.

Chrysalis clenched her teeth as Fluffle Puff's pliers made their way towards the red wire. Every second that passed seemed like slightly more than a second. With one final motion, Fluffle Puff closed her eyes and snipped the wire.

A moment passed...then another...then another...

Fluffle Puff opened her eyes to see a severe lack of lasers, which made both Fluffle Puff and Chrysalis squeal with delight.

They had done it.

Fluffle Puff retrieved the treasure while Chrysalis levitated her away.

"FINALLY, AFTER WEEKS OF METICULOUS PLANNING, I FINALLY HAVE THE TREASURE! MWAHAHAHAHAH-err..."

Fluffle Puff gave her a disapproving glare.

"I mean we have the treasure."

She gave her an approving glare, which was really just a strange contortion of her face, and examined their find. There wasn't a more valuable treasure in Equestria than the one before them. The Crystal Skull was just some ordinary see-through skull in comparison. The two would make sure to put this to good use.

Chrysalis stomped impatiently. "Well, go on, put your hoof in it already."

Her hooves trembled, her eyes twinkled, her nose itched, her fur...remained furry. This was the moment she'd been waiting for. She put her hoof into the jar and-

"What are you two doing?"

Twilight Sparkle stood behind them in the Lost Caves, A.K.A., the Library. Damn, caught with her hoof in the cookie jar...literally.

"What have I told you two about eating all the cookies?! The library doesn't have the funds to keep buying cookies every day because you two eat them all. Therefore, you are both limited to a cookie a day. Nothing beyond that. That's why I set up a very powerful and expensive magical device to keep you out of the cookie jar. In the long run, it will save us money."

Twilight snatched the cookie jar from Fluffle Puff with her magic while Chrysalis uncharacteristically whimpered and Fluffle Puff teared up.

"W-We were so close, F-Fluffle Puff," sniffled Chrysalis.

Fluffle Puff took a full box of tissues out of her fur and blew her nose with them, finally beginning to let her tears flow. Twilight watched the scene in frustration. Frustration that she wasn't able to resist the tears of the pony/changeling. The scene was nothing short of heart breaking for Twilight, and she herself began to tear up.

"Oh, you two," she said, stifling back a tear. "You each can have one more cookie, but that's it for today, you hear me?"

"pffftftpfpfffttff~" they both responded, shooting small pieces of cookie into her face.

She huffed tiredly and walked off, muttering something about not knowing the reason Chrysalis even lived at the library. The two turned to each other with grins plastered on their faces, and began laughing.

"Fake tears," Chrysalis laughed. "Works every time with her. It's a good thing you have that stash of chili powder in your fur. Boy, does it ever hurt though. By the way, we only used the aerosol can and the pliers. Why did we need the fishing rod?"

Fluffle Puff stared blankly at the changeling for a few seconds, and then came to a realization. Grabbing the fishing pole, she tossed the line into her fur and began reeling.

"I'm afraid to ask what you're doi-"

Suddenly, a grey stallion with a blue mane was pulled out of her fur on the fishing line. He shook his head for a moment and looked around the room in a panic.

"Could one of you fine ladies tell me what year it is?

"2013."

"Oh my, I should probably get back to my family. Toodles."

The pony scooted out the door, leaving Chrysalis staring at Fluffle Puff with half-lidded eyes.

"You wouldn't happen to have any milk in there, would you?"

Author's Note:

[Edited by riehlncopower]

I've decided rather than multiple parts in a chapter, I'm going to post short stories in a way, but they will all follow the timeline of the day. Tell me if you think that's a good idea or if I'm just bat crap crazy.

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