• Published 23rd Apr 2013
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A Day In The Life Of Fluffle Puff - Anal Invader



Ever wonder what a regular day is like for the Fluffle Puff Pony? You did? Someone has a lot of time on their hands...

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The Afternoon

Chapter Three: Thomas, The Little Train That Couldn't

12:00 pm: Ponyville Streets-Market

Mister Shining Sun was high in the sky as the 'born again fluffy' Fluffle Puff strode through the market place, happy as a horse. She had initially been sad about losing her new manestyle, but Fluffle Puff had never been one to dwell on things for too long. Or even remember them. Who were you people again?

Walking past the window of the recently opened shop, Prankster's Paradise, she noticed something interesting out of the corner of her eye. Something that made her eyes twinkle and her jaw drop. Something that trumped every other thing that ever existed.

A fake mustache.

Now, Fluffle Puff needed more hair on her body like a fish needed a bicycle – a lot. How else would a fish beat the other fish upstream without a bicycle? However, she wasn't on the best terms with the employees of the store after she ate an entire shelf of fake gum about a week ago. That didn't really stop her from continuing to visit the shop on a daily basis though. Most of the time she just opened up the cans of fake peanut brittle, but today, she was going to buy that mustache, whether they wanted her to or not.

Fluffle Puff walked into the brightly decorated store, taking in the sights she saw daily. The store was painted bright pink, matching the goods of the store, as well as Fluffle Puff. Pranking items lined the walls, giving the store a child-like vibe to it. Fluffle Puff felt at home here.

Upon entering the store, a young employee unicorn approached the entrance with a cheery demeanor on his face to greet Fluffle Puff.

"Hi there, do need help finding anything to-...oh, its just you." His cheery demeanor quickly turned to one of boredom. "For the fourth time this week, no, we do not have any silly string. You bought every single box we had."

"pffftftpfpfffttff," she said delicately, blowing a raspberry in the employee's face.

He let out a drawn out sigh. "What do you want, Miss?"

She pointed to the fake mustache sitting on the highest part of the largest shelf. The employee levitated it down and gave it to Fluffle Puff, but not before giving her a stern look.

"Now I know you bought all that silly string a while back, but since that you've just been browsing day in and day out. Are you actually going to purchase this today?"

She reached into her fur and pulled out a hoof full of bits. Before the employee had time to be surprised, she shoved the bits in his mouth and proceeded to claim her mustache prize. He spit the bits out and began furiously wiping his tongue. He was about 80% sure he tasted fluff.

"Bleah! Why did you do that?!" he shouted. "And how in the world did you get so many bits?"

Fluffle Puff, seemly understanding his confusion, took the employee's hoof and led him to the store window. Just as the employee was going to comment on the action, she pointed her hoof at billboard near the shop. He squinted, reading the word aloud off the billboard.

"Fluffle Puff, District Attorney...DISTRICT ATTORNEY?! How in the world are you a District Attorney? I haven't even seen you speak before, let alone practice law! And why is your occupation on a billboard anyw-HEY, STOP LICKING THAT SILLY PUTTY!"

She put on the mustache and looked back and forth, as if implying she had done no such thing.

The employee face hoofed. "Mother of Celestia, just take your mustache and get out..."

12:46 pm: Ponyville Streets-Some Other Area

The newly mustachioed Fluffle Puff was wandering Ponyville, looking for something to do, when she spotted a large group of ponies surrounding a caravan. Intrigued, she made her way over to the caravan to see what everypony was there for. She was surprised to see that the ponies that surrounded the caravan weren't very happy and seemed to be directing that unhappiness towards a blue unicorn mare with a purple wizard's hat and matching cape, as well a pale blue mane. She appeared to be laughing at a crestfallen mare who was walking off the caravan stage with her head down.

"Haha, The Great and Powerful Trixie once again triumphs over another one of you pathetic ponies," she said in the third person. "Hmm, I think one more pony should do. Who else among you thinks they have what it takes to best The Great and Powerful Trixie?"

A stallion in the crowd spoke up. "W-Why are you doing this, Trixie? D-Do you have to humiliate your crowd during your shows? And didn't Twilight Sparkle run you out of town?"

A bolt of lightning from Trixie's horn struck near his hoof, causing the stallion to yelp out of fear. "Trixie will answer none of those questions! Now if you want to do something, challenge me on the stage."

The stallion looked as if he wanted to, but reluctantly stood down. Trixie scoffed at the pony. "Don't have the courage, huh? Fine. Does anypony else have the nerve to stand up to Trixie?"

The crowd backed up, trying to escape Trixie's question. It was then that Fluffle Puff saw her chance. She darted through the gaps in the crowd and made her way to the front, wanting to see what was going on better. Trixie immediately took notice of the pony and called out to her.

"You," she said, pointing her hoof at Fluffle Puff. "The furry one with the mustache. I take it you would like to challenge Trixie?"

Fluffle Puff stuck her tongue out, which the crowd took as an insult towards Trixie. A chorus of 'oh's and 'burn's could be heard throughout the crowd. Trixie also thought of the action as an insult to her, as she suddenly levitated Fluffle Puff up onto the stage.

"Don't get so arrogant, Fluffleball," she said, clearly trying to intimidate the pony before her. "Because Trixie is nice, she will let you pick what Trixie will best you at. Go ahead, choose."

Fluffle Puff trotted up closer to Trixie, making the magician mare wonder just what Fluffle Puff was doing. Doing what was probably last on Trixie's list, Fluffle Puff reached out a hoof and put Trixie in one of her traditional fluffy embraces.
"Hey, what are yo-quit it ou-STOP HUGGING TRIXIE!"

Trixie quickly backed away from the fluffy pony, flustered that she was being hugged in front of so many ponies. She dusted off her cape in an attempt to brush off the hug as nothing, but her audience wasn't buying it. As embarrassment turned to irritation, she addressed Fluffle Puff again.

"Pick your event now so that The Great and Powerful Trixie may crush you! What is it, strength, speed, magic? Choose already," she yelled, taking her hat off and putting it in Fluffle Puff's face. With a spark of her horn, a bouquet of paper flowers grew out of the hat and engulfed Fluffle Puff's face, leaving her staring into the fake greenery.

Trixie smirked. "Oh, have you already given up? Figures as much. Obviously there isn't a pony alive that can match-"

Trixie's narcissistic drone came to an end at the sight of the pony in front of her eating the flowers she had produced through her hat. Was eating strange things her special talent? She looked to the audience to gauge their reaction to what was happening, and found most of them had wide grins plastered on their faces.

The pony Trixie had nearly struck with lightning came out of the crowd and approached the stage. "Well, Trixie," he said smugly. "Are you going to eat those paper flowers too, or do you forfeit?"

Suddenly, the audience broke out into murmurs of agreement and began to chant. "FLOW-ERS, FLOW-ERS, FLOW-ERS!"
Trixie cringed at the horrid realization that she would need to eat her own flowers to best the fluffy pony.

Trixie let out a nervous laugh. "Ha, such a thing is easy for the Great and Powerful Trixie! Watch and observe!" She spawned more paper flowers in her hat and examined them to find a way that they could be ingested. She failed to find one. Her lips trembled as she moved her mouth forward, intent on pleasing her audience. The audience watched in palpable suspense, wanting to see The "Great and Powerful" Trixie eat paper. She got closer and closer to the flowers and-

"I can't! Trixie cannot eat this! It's impossible. How can a pony eat paper?! The Great and Powerful Trixie...must concede defeat to you..."

The audience erupted into cheers, screaming Fluffle Puff's name. The ponies near the front jumped up on stage and hoisted the fluffy pony into the air, celebrating the town's victory against Trixie. In all the commotion, Fluffle Puff's mustache was knocked off directly into the face of a nearby stallion. He stared at the mustache in disgust.

"Wait a minute," he said. "This isn't a real mustache. It's fake! Hey everypony, she's a phony! A big fat phon-oof." The accusing stallion was trampled by the rest of the crowd trying to congratulate Fluffle Puff. Riding on the backs of the grateful audience, Fluffle Puff was carried off into town, giggling like an otter. Otters giggle, right?

Author's Note:

[Edited by riehlncopower]

Whenever Fluffle Puff eats paper, an angel gets its wings.

Expect Dan and Chrysalis to show up soon.

See you next time, unless I'm dead. Sorry if i die in advance.

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