The whining, high-pitched voice of Swarm rang out in the kitchen. The small filly huffed, bouncing up to put her hooves on the counter, trying to peer into the pan holding what appeared to be more soup. “This is the third time this week!”
Swarm was a hybrid; a half-pony, half-changeling filly. Everything about Swarm was subject to change on a daily basis. Her ‘default’ state, as her parents had come to call it, was a grey coat with a blonde mane and tail. Her eye colour changed on a whim, her coat, mane, and tail colour changed almost daily, but the one thing that never changed was the fact that, due to a quirk of her birth, Swarm was possessed of both a unicorn’s horn, and a pegasus’ wings. Even the doctors hadn’t been able to explain the appearance of her horn when she turned five; after all, Swarm was the first known hybrid.
“Good counting,” Warden said, smiling down at his daughter briefly as he stirred the contents of the pot with a wooden spoon. “Now, if you apply your brain to your schoolwork instead of complaining about my cooking, then your first week will be a breeze.”
Warden was a pegasus, unexceptional in colour and size. He was neither large or small; fit or lazy; young or old; ugly or handsome. He was white all over, with a splotch here and there of a stain that didn’t want to lift from his usually-pristine coat, with a handsome blue mane and tail. He had a plain, unassuming face, average-sized wings, and an average build. Everything about him was average. The only real identifying factors he had was that his wing and hoof were both crippled. Swarm didn’t get many answers on exactly how he had injured them, and the ‘official’ story she was told was that he had fallen off a ladder when he was a little younger. But there was a sad, resigned look in Warden’s eyes when he related the tale, and they were so skimpy on the details that Swarm was sure they were lying.
“I don’t wanna go to school,” Swarm said with a wrinkled nose, taking a spoon and dipping it in the pot, pulling up ribbons of steeped cabbage that had all the texture of an old sock soaked in water.
Warden’s cutie mark was a trestle with vines growing up it, and he was a good cook. Or at least, he was a good stewmaker. Anything more fancy than a stew, and that was Swarm’s mother’s job.
The kitchen door opened, and Kuno - Swarm’s mother and Warden’s wife - pushed her way through in all her glory.
Kuno was small for a changeling, or she decided to be small - Swarm had never asked - and was completely alien to Warden. Standing at a head or so smaller than her husband, she was a deep, deep blue, bordering on black, all over, with her entire form comprised of what she explained to be ‘chitin’. Her ‘chitin’ was smooth, shiny, and almost always perfect, owing to the regular baths she indulged in, and the fact that Warden would often spend upwards of an hour in there making his wife sparkle. Kuno’s eyes were a uniform, ghostly blue colour, and she had a pair of membranous, insect-like wings on her back that were surprisingly strong and not at all fragile.
Swarm had seen her mother turn into a range of ponies, from unicorns, to pegasi, and, as her father swore, she could even turn into a dragon! Swarm had none of her mother’s natural talent at changing herself. She had mastered her eye, mane, and tail colour, but any real physical changes were almost impossible. She couldn’t change her weight, her size, or get rid of her wings or horns like her mother could. During one rare argument with Warden, when he had told his wife to ‘be quiet already!’, Kuno had actually made her entire mouth disappear for the entire day.
Curious as to how Kuno could eat without a mouth, she had asked her parents some pointed questions. Somehow, her mother survived by drinking ‘love’. Swarm thought it was disgusting and ick.
“Momma, I don’t wanna go to school,” Swarm chirped, rapping a hoof on the table for attention. “I just wanna stay home and play.”
“I’ve already told you, Swarm, you can either go to school, or I’ll be home-schooling you. And you won’t be able to get up to a single bit of mischief. I assure you, it’ll be boring!” Kuno threatened, dropping a hoofful of berries onto the cutting board in front of Warden.
Warden smiled and nodded to his wife in thanks, kissing her cheek in passing before beginning to slice up the berries with neat motions of his good hoof.
“But moooooom! School sounds boring! Who wants to learn things? I’m six already and I’ve never had to use writing! Or reading! And math sounds horrible! Why do we have to add symbols to numbers?” Swarm whined, huffing up at her mother.
Warden gave a soft laugh in the background as he scooped the cut berries into the pot, shaking his head with a rueful smile. “Just wait until she learns that they put the alphabet in with math.”
Swarm blinked slowly at that, trying to cogitate on using letters in maths. She knew simple, simple math. Addition, some minor subtraction, but nothing else. After several long seconds, her expression turned smug. “Well I can do math with letters.”
Warden looked back over his shoulder, and then grinned at his wife. “Kuno, do you have any algebra to bend her mind with?”
“I think I’ll leave this one to you,” Kuno said smoothly, waving a hoof as she sat down at the table.
Warden pondered at that, chewing his bottom lip. “Well... what is A, if A plus eight equals ten?”
“Banana,” Swarm said with an air of superiority.
Warden paused, and then gave a soft laugh. “However did you figure that?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” Swarm said in a sing-song voice.
Kuno snorted once, gently smacking Swarm’s hooves with her own. The filly jerked her hooves back, looking petulant. “You know that isn’t a reason, Swarm. At school, you’ll have to explain your reasoning.”
“Well, A is an apple, right?” Swarm asked with that same air of superiority. “So obviously, if you have eight apples and a ten then it has to be banana!”
Kuno sighed and hung her head, and Warden just laughed. “It’s actually two, hun,” Warden corrected, making a circular motion with a hoof. “The letter just stands in as any kind of number.”
Swarm stared at her father at that, looking back and forth between him and her mother, frowning deeply. “But then why would you even put letters in there if they stand for anything at all?!”
Warden paused at that, scratching his chin with a hoof. “I... can honestly say that I know no real-world applications for algebra. At least, not in my line of work.”
“I’ve never used it either,” Kuno piped up with a slight smile. “It’s a useless subject.”
“Actually,” Warden said, holding up a hoof to silence the two females. “I think it’s more about teaching you lateral thinking. It makes you smarter.”
“Being smart sucks,” Swarm said suddenly, crossing her hooves and sitting back in her chair heavily.
Both Kuno and Warden gave her a sharp look. “What makes you say this?” Kuno asked carefully.
“Well think about it, mommy! A blue jay is pretty dumb, right?” Swarm asked bluntly.
Kuno blinked at that, giving a helpless shrug. “I... guess? Compared to a pony, yeah, they’re not so bright.”
“And a blue jay is happy with some bird seed and some water,” Swarm pressed, pointing towards the window. “Or even a worm. They’re just happy to be flying and chirping and singing. Because they’re dumb.”
“And how is this a bad thing?” Warden queried.
“It isn’t!” Swarm chirped, with a faint little huff. “But we’re not happy if we have food and water and can fly! We have to have books and talk to people and different kinds of food and blankets and pillows and beds and a house and dessert and even pets if we want to be happy! Being smart is really, really dumb sometimes.”
Warden just shook his head slowly and Kuno giggled.
Warden crept out of Swarm’s room, flicking off the light and placing The Adventures of Daring Do: Daring Do and the Stone Temple on a cupboard in passing.
Kuno was dozing in front of the fireplace, her black hues lit with warm oranges and reds, looking quiet and peaceful. The firelight reflected off her shiny wings, and an empty bowl was visible between her curled forehooves, the base of it resting in one of the holes in her chitin.
Warden crept over to his wife, easing himself down on his good hoof and then wiggling in against her back, wrapping his hooves around her.
An indistinct sound left the changeling, and she rolled slightly into his form, wiggling back against him with a soft yawn. “She made you finish the entire story, didn’t she?” Kuno asked in a quiet, lazy tone.
Warden gave a rueful smile, nosing through his wife’s mane gently, snuffling at her chitin. “Indeed. I’m beginning to think I should read her something utterly boring at night instead of an action story.”
“You could try telling her this story,” Kuno said with a tired giggle.
“Scathing,” Warden said with a wry grin, lipping at her chitin lovingly, squeezing her with a hoof. “Why you laying here all alone?”
“Well you were reading a Daring Do book, and there’s no pictures. I had a vague idea of popping into the room as Daring Do, but it’s not a picture book so she’d just give me a strange look,” Kuno said with a soft yawn, rolling slightly over onto her stomach and then stretching out languidly. She pulled the bowl from inside the hole in her hoof and placed it aside, peering at her husband as she wiggled in close to him again, pushing her way up under his wing, using it as a blanket. “Do you ever... regret things?”
“Regret things? Of course I regret things,” Warden said with a slight shrug of his shoulders, nudging his cheek against her own soothingly. “That’s part of life. Without regret, we wouldn’t have a reason to make the right decisions.”
“Then... how are you supposed to deal with it?” Kuno asked quietly, staring into the fire.
Warden grimaced uncertainly at that. “You’ve never... regretted something before?”
Kuno shook her head gently. “I do what I have to do to survive. I don’t regret... well, nearly anything!”
“Even using magic to make me love you?” Warden asked bluntly.
Kuno shifted uncomfortably. “I know you’ll never understand... but... when first I did it, I needed your love just to survive. And by the time I realised that I was starting to like you too, I couldn’t just... you know, turn it off without causing you pain. And I didn’t want to cause you pain. So... I don’t regret anything about the spell. At all.”
“If you had it to do all over again, would you do anything differently?” Warden asked, frowning slightly.
Kuno paused at that, frowning thoughtfully. “Given the same circumstances? No. I would do the same thing over.”
Warden smiled faintly, gently nosing into her neck. “I can respect that. What about Daggertail? Do you regret threatening him, given the results?”
“The events were a direct result of the threatening, but it only happened because Daggertail was a moron,” Kuno pointed out with a grimace. “I told him that I’d kill him if he didn’t leave you alone... and I made good on my word.”
Warden sharply looked around, as though Swarm might be at the doorway of her room, listening in, before he relaxed and nodded. “I... guess I can see where you’re coming from. So.. what is it that you regret?”
Kuno stared into the fire for several long moment, her ears splaying backwards. “I... I regret telling the princesses about Chrysalis’ magic. My magic. The spell she stole.”
Warden frowned deeply at that. “You mean you regret keeping Chrysalis from subtly forcing Shining Armor to fall in love with her, and probably taking over Canterlot?”
The changeling frowned at that, and then nodded. “Shining Armor would be happy, at least. He would be with the one he ‘loves’.”
“Fake loves,” Warden said flatly.
“When we got married, how did it feel?” Kuno asked suddenly.
Warden’s ears splayed back. “It was... the happiest moment of my life.”
“I rest my case,” Kuno said with a wave of her hoof.
“But why do you regret it?” Warden asked, confused. “Why do you care?”
“Chrysalis was my queen... I swore my allegiance to her. But most of all, when I looked into her eyes... I saw that same kind of fire and intense... just intense need for him that I feel for you. I think she truly loves him, and the only way she knows to get to him is manipulation. And now she’s in some cold, dark dungeon, languishing in chains away from the one she loves. If somepony did that to me... kept me from you...” Kuno twisted her hooves against themselves, grinding them together as she grit her teeth. “I’d kill them. I’d kill them and bring them back to life and kill them again.”
Warden frowned at that, gently nuzzling into the changeling’s neck. “Don’t forget that he’s already married.”
Kuno pursed her lips at that, ears pinning back. “I know, and they love eachother, too. I could feel it. But it was a warm love. Kind of... like a lantern. Chrysalis was a raging inferno of need. What right did I have to keep her from Shining Armor?”
“Survivor’s guilt,” Warden said after a moment.
Kuno blinked slowly, raising a brow at her husband in confusion. “Whatever do you mean?”
“Survivor’s guilt. It’s where the survivors of an accident feel guilty that it was they who survived and not their friend or the person they were sitting next to. They don’t feel deserving,” Warden said with a nod, kissing the nape of her neck gently. “Let me guess, you feel like... ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’ was unfair to Chrysalis?”
Kuno gave a jerky nod. “Yeah, I guess... I got the perfect husband, the most beautiful little foal in all the world... and Chrysalis got a cold, hard dungeon forever.”
Warden gave a wry grin, nudging his nose against her neck firmly. “Swarm is in the house, so flattery doesn’t get you any kinky funtimes any more, remember?” he chided, stroking her wings soothingly.
“She’ll be starting school tomorrow, I’m building up an IOU,” Kuno said with a dismissive wave of a hoof.
“Well... life isn’t fair. I got a gimpy wing and hoof, remember?” Warden asked, wiggling the hoof in front of her nose. “I guess that’s the cosmic-balance sheet? If I was healthy and had you by my side, an asteroid would have to come down and wipe out us and the entire house to make the balance straight.”
Kuno frowned deeply, her ears drooping. “I still can’t help but feel a little guilty... our choices have put her in a dungeon, away from her love. And if I put myself in her place... I’d want to murder me.”
“Hypothetical suicide-homicides aside, Chrysalis was a bitch. She deserves the dungeon,” Warden stated flatly, nudging her neck powerfully.
“And what would you say if it were her in my place. What if it was she who had been in that field, injured, and you found her? Would you be as quick to condemn her?”
Warden frowned at that, his ears splaying back, unable to find an answer.
“And that’s why I regret telling them about her magic,” Kuno said simply.
Kuno and Warden were both in the tub very, very early in the morning. With Swarm in the house, they could never have really long baths, unless they had them in the mornings, when Swarm was asleep.
Warden was in front, and Kuno was behind him, with a jar of Greenswathe gel open on the side of the tub. She was rubbing the green mixture across his bad wing, massaging the deadening material into the fur and feathers, soothing the aches and pains.
“Ohhh, that feels so good...” Warden moaned faintly, grimacing and twitching his wings slightly, stretching out his hindlegs in the water, using his good forehoof to hold himself steady and keep him from falling into the water.
Kuno giggled, rubbing her hoof across his wing and kneading firmly at the muscles. “It’s a good thing you can’t build up a resistance to this stuff.”
“Only if you inhale it,” Warden reminded, stretching his wings out happily. He paused as the broken wing made a very peculiar grinding noise, flushing faintly and folding it tight against his side again. “That would have hurt so much without that greenswathe.”
“Not to mention it sounds positively nauseating,” Kuno chided, slapping his shoulder with a hoof, before wrapping both forehooves around his middle and pulling him back against her smaller form. “I do so love it when you’re all over me. Like you’re a big teddy bear except so much better because I can feel your pulse.”
Warden blinked back at her over his shoulder. “I’m sure I read a line like that somewhere in a vampire book. Actually, every vampire book ever written with romance in it.”
“I’m not going to bite you and drink your blood,” Kuno said with a giggle and a shake of her head, before leaning in to swirl her tongue against the inside of one of his ears lustfully. “Unless you’re into that?”
Warden gave a shudder. “I am of the firm belief that blood belongs on the inside. And I am pre-emptively cutting you off from mentioning any ‘female’ stories!” Warden added suddenly before she could respond.
The changeling giggled softly at that, shaking her head and nibbling along his neck with her large canines, making fake ‘nomnomnom!’ noises. “Give me your tasty blood, Warden!”
Warden shuddered and chuckled, leaning back against his wife and squeezing one of her hindlegs with his good hoof, the only part of her body he could easily reach.
“So... how come foals don’t chirp?” Kuno asked suddenly, pausing with her mouthful of Warden’s neck, muffling her words around his flesh.
“Chirp?” Warden asked blankly.
“Chirp!” Kuno said with an earnest nod, pulling back with a firm suckle along his delicate flesh and then lapping up at the underside of his chin lovingly, hooves rubbing at his chest. “Swarm just made this wailing sound like she was trying her hardest to get attention.”
Warden stared back at her blankly still. “Changelings don’t do that?”
Kuno shook her head slowly. “Nope! They make a chirping noise when they’re hungry, or when they want something.”
Warden harrumphed thoughtfully, and then shrugged. “I honestly couldn’t tell you. I’ve never heard a changeling chirp before.”
Kuno gave him a puzzled expression, and then concentrated, tilting her head slightly to the side and giving a kind of chitter-chirp.
Blinking slowly, Warden tilted his head to the side, an ear perking upwards at her.
Kuno made the sound again, smiling as she grew more comfortable with making the noise she hadn’t made since she was an infant.
“That is... so bloody adorable,” Warden said with a slow shake of his head, turning around in the tub to wrap his hooves around his wife and kiss her happily.
Kuno giggled and chirped again, kissing him back with an eager thrumming sound in the back of her throat. “Just imagine, coming home and finding me spread across the bed -”
“-Like an oversized preying mantis,” Warden interjected playfully.
Kuno swatted him. “Don’t interrupt! But... come home, and I’m spread across the bed waiting for you, chirping.”
Warden licked his lips at that, and then gave a faint, rueful laugh. “Don’t be making promises you can’t keep now.”
Kuno rolled her eyes, kissing his nose and rubbing her hooves firmly in against his sides, scritching at where his wings usually covered. Warden melted into her stimulation, humming happily. “I gotta do something to keep you interested,” Kuno said sweetly, nibbling along the length of one of his ears. “And it’s either I tempt you with tales of chirping changelings, or I start imitating random females from those magazines you carefully don’t look at every time we’re in town.”
Warden huffed, nudging her firmly with his nose. “How’m I supposed to not look? They’re sexy! And I’m male, I’m hardwired to want to look at dat plot!”
Kuno giggled, her expression turning mischievous. “And I am hardwired to take advantage of your hardwiring!”
Warden blinked slowly at that, his head tilting to the side. “Then you’d know I would prefer it if it was your butt plastered across the pages right?”
“But then every other male would stare at it,” Kuno said with a wave of a hoof.
“Stop poking holes in my attempted flattery!” Warden said, swatting at the changeling with a hoof and then pulling her into another kiss, grinning.
Kuno giggled and held close to him, rubbing her nose against his own with a happy little purr. “I appreciate the flattery, but you don’t need to give it. I’ll know if you ever start falling out of love with me.”
Warden frowned slightly at that. “That’s kinda creepy... and almost threatening.”
Kuno nodded sagely. “Indeed. Because if you start falling out of love with me, then I’ll just have to keep doing cute things to make you fall in love with me again.” The changeling giggled, and then leaning close to him, heatedly licking along the inside of one of Warden’s ears before giving a soft, sultry little chirp into it.
Warden laughed at that, shaking his head and wrapping his hooves around his wife, holding her close and nuzzling against her throat lovingly. “I’ll never stop loving you. You’re just too much of a cute overload.”
“I love you too, Warden,” Kuno said happily, nibbling at the tip of one of his ears playfully. “Now, get that sponge. My chitin needs a good wash.”
By the time Kuno and Warden had managed to get out of the bathtub, Swarm was already at the table, absentmindedly spooning cereal into her mouth. A picture book lay open beside her bowl, showing colourful images of a unicorn explorer. One of the pages was slightly sticky with milk and a single piece of cereal.
Kuno shook her head, moving over to the table and picking up a dishcloth, cleaning off the page gently and giving her daughter a chiding look. “If you don’t look after your books, you won’t have them very long.”
Swarm rolled her eyes at that, brushing the page off gently. “I was gonna get to it!”
“Like the one I threw in the trash last week?” Kuno asked, narrowing her eyes at her daughter.
Swarm gave her most innocent expression, peering up at her mother. “I was gonna get to it! I just failed to say which month.”
Kuno stared down at her daughter, deadpan, slowly shaking her head, before she broke into a smile and hugged the filly tightly, kissing the top of her head. “I hate how you know how cute you are.”
“Gets it from her mother,” Warden said with a shake of his head, moving over to put the kettle on the stove.
Kuno smiled mischievously, before chirping.
By the time Warden looked around, Kuno and Swarm were both giving him their best cheesy grins, as innocent and angelic as could be.
The hour before school passed almost frighteningly fast, and Swarm was nervously moving for the carriage that pulled up in front of the house; arranged transport to and from school every day. A pair of foals the same age as her were peering out from the windows of the carriage, looking at the strange new house they’d never seen before.
Kuno was in pegasus form so she didn’t scare the foals, and both she and Warden waved their hooves at Swarm, giving her their most encouraging looks, urging her to climb aboard the carriage.
Nervously, Swarm clambered up into the carriage and picked a seat at the furthest part of the carriage to the other children, self-consciously adjusting her mane. She peered out the window at her parents as the carriage jolted into motion, starting down the long driveway.
Kuno and Warden waved until the carriage was out of sight.
Barely ten minutes later, and Warden was nursing another cup of coffee, reading a newspaper. He heard a strange noise, and looked up, moving into the hallway, pausing in front of the door to his and Kuno’s bedroom.
Kuno was laid out across the bed, watching him narrowed eyes, her wings giving an eager little quiver. She lifted her head, chirping again.
Warden looked left, and then right, casting furtive glances up and down the hallway, before he placed his coffee on a shelf and bounded eagerly into the room, kicking the door shut.
“So...” Kuno asked delicately, trailing a hoof along Warden’s wing slowly, nuzzling gently into the expanse of it. “When are you going to tell Swarm about Swarm?”
Warden stirred faintly at that, shifting away from his wife before rolling over to face her, resting his nose against her own lazily. “I... I dunno. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell her. It’s kinda... creepy, you know?”
“Creepy?” Kuno asked, confused. “She’s named after her, she at least deserves to know who she was.”
“Yeah... but how am I supposed to bring that up to her? I don’t think she’s old enough to understand. And she’s too old now to take it for granted that it’s not creepy. Like ‘Hey Swarm, hun, come visit your dad’s deceased ex-wife!’. I just don’t think it’ll work very well,” Warden said with a helpless shake of his head.
Kuno gave a faint smile at that, lifting a hoof to cup his cheek. “You’re so adorable when you’re defensive,” she cooed, leaning forwards to kiss his nose lovingly. “But I think you underestimate how mature our daughter is. She’ll likely understand.”
Warden wrinkled his nose at her words, before sighing and shaking his head. “I just don’t really want to,” he admitted, nuzzling against Kuno’s nose gently. “I don’t want to be that guy.”
“What guy?” Kuno asked curiously, “The guy with the awesome changeling wife?”
“The guy that carries all his personal baggage around with him and has it affect everyone in his life,” Warden said simply, pursing his lips with a soft sigh. “Swarm is gone... and bringing her up to mini-Swarm isn’t really going to do anything except possibly leave lasting psychological damage.”
Kuno snorted once, nudging Warden firmly. “In a way, Swarm is still very much here. She shaped you, and you are now shaping your daughter. So... it’s a sort of second-hoof shaping that’s going on.”
“You wouldn’t attribute a master blacksmith’s work to the blacksmith’s master, would you?” Warden asked bluntly.
“Oh how cute, you’re getting all deep and philosophical,” Kuno said dryly, licking across the bridge of his nose slowly. “You blame mistakes in technique on your teaching though.”
Warden snorted faintly, kissing Kuno’s nose in response. “I really don’t think so. I don’t blame my teachers for my deficiencies.”
Kuno raised an ear slowly. “And if I found a break in your guard, back when you could actually hold a spear properly, I’d blame it on you being taught wrong, wouldn’t you?”
Pursing his lips, Warden went silent, refusing to answer.
“And there’s your answer,” Kuno said with a happy nod, nudging his nose with her own. “So, obviously, you should tell Swarm about old-Swarm.”
Warden stared at his wife for a long moment. “I’m not seeing the logic-chain here.”
“Oh come on, Warden,” Kuno said, exasperated, “She’s named after her.”
Warden gave an uneasy squirm at that. “Let me... let me just think on it a while, okay?”
Kuno rolled her eyes, snuggling in against his chest and resting her nose against his throat. “I won’t forget, Warden. So don’t even think you can worm your way out of this by putting it off.”
Warden gave a faint chuckle at that, stroking a hoof gently against Kuno’s iridescent wings. “I know. Swarm isn’t going to be able to hide a thing from you, you’re like a hawk.”
“I can be a hawk, if I want,” Kuno replied calmly, with a slow, sly grin. “Or a mouse... or a butterfly.”
“Isn’t that... kinda dangerous?” Warden asked after a moment.
Kuno nodded. “Exceedingly. I could get crushed, or buffeted about by wind.. or eaten. Not to mention that the more mass I gain or lose in a transformation, the more energy I consume. Transforming into a dragon is about the same difficulty as changing into a butterfly.”
Warden tilted his head to the side slightly, and then blinked once. “Well, that certainly explains a few things.”
“Transforming into something like a fly would require suicidal amounts of energy,” Kuno mused, rubbing a hoof against her chin slowly. “I don’t even think a queen could do it. Not even with years of love.”
“Not even you could do it, with all the love I’m pouring into you?” Warden asked, rubbing his nose against her ears slowly.
“An admirable suck-up attempt, but I’m afraid that it doesn’t nullify the maths. It took me a year of energy to be able to transform into a dragon, and that almost killed me. A fly would be like... transforming into a full-grown Ursa Major. It’s just... astoundingly huge,” Kuno said with a helpless shake of her head. “But a large bird of prey, like a falcon, or an eagle... that would work. And would only require a month or so of your luvvins.”
Warden gave a faint smile at that, nudging his nose gently against her horn, snuffling at it. “I find it a strange allegory that a month of my love is equal to one falcon.”
“Life is weird,” kuno said, nibbling gently at the hollow of his throat. “When is Swarm due back from school?”
“Not for another few hours,” Warden said, eyeing the alarm clock on the dresser.
“A few more hours of peace...” Kuno said with a happy little sigh. “And no questions! I love her dearly, but if she doesn’t stop asking me questions, then I’m going to transform into a Lynx and start stalking her of a nighttime.”
Warden laughed faintly at that, shaking his head and nibbling at the very tip of one Kuno’s frills. “I doubt you’d be that mean.”
Kuno snorted once, pursing her lips and drawing back to stare up at him. “You never told me that she’d ask ‘why’ to everything.”
“Wait until she’s a teenager,” Warden said with a wry smile. “This aint nothing.”
“Do you think she’s having fun at school?” Kuno asked seriously, scratching at her cheek with a hoof nervously. “What if she hates it?”
Warden kissed Kuno’s nose gently, making a soft, soothing sound. “She’ll be fine. She’s survived you and me for so many years. How scary could school be?”
Swarm tried to make herself as small as she could, shrinking back into one corner of the carriage, her ears folding down and wings tightening against her sides.
A pair of unicorn’s were watching her with intent eyes, whispering amongst themselves. Their whispers were quiet, and muffled by the sound of the wooden wheels on the road, but Swarm could still make out their conversation.
“Look, she’s a pegasus!”
“But she’s got a horn!”
“But she’s got wings as well so she’s obviously a pegasus!”
“She’s a freak is what she is!”
“Yeah, a pegasus freak!”
Swarm turned to look out the window, feeling her ears burn with embarrassment, trying her best to pretend as though she couldn’t hear what they were saying.
Thankfully, the carriage quickly filled up, and the hubbub of conversation muted whatever else the unicorns were saying about her. It was nearly half an hour of travel up a gentle gradient to get to Canterlot, and then the windows of the carriage were filled with the storefronts and buildings of Equestria’s capital city.
Eventually, the carriage came to a stop in front of the school, and the door was opened from the outside by an elderly unicorn with a greying mane.
The foals filed out of the carriage at the urging of the elderly mare, with Swarm last in line. She paused in the carriage, looking about wildly, thinking hard, before screwing up her eyes. Her horn glowed the faintest green, and her mane and tail writhed as though made of snakes.
When the final foal stepped out of the carriage, Swarm was nowhere to be found. In her place was a sea-green foal with a blue mane and tail. The filly’s strange mane was done up in a large orb-like shape. A pair of pink eyes were just barely visible beneath the huge amount of hair.
The elderly mare stared down at the ridiculous manestyle for several long seconds.
Swarm twitched her wings nervously, “I-is something the matter?”
The mare blinked slowly, and then shook her head. “No, nothing. Go in.” She jerked her head towards the front door of the school.
Swarm meandered towards the doorway, keeping her head low, her wings spreading halfway in fight-or-flight reflex as she headed towards her first day of school.
Swarm had chosen her desk, at the far back and side of the schoolroom, in one of the corner desks at the back of the room, where she was safe was the majority of stares. Her new manestyle had attracted some attention, but otherwise, she in the clear.
On the board were some pictures of trees and bees, apples and oranges, all of those kinds of things, as well as a few very simple mathematical equations. Swarm ignored the maths for now; she already knew all of that. She knew her numbers up to twenty, and addition up to ten. She could even do some small ‘minus’ equations if she thought really hard.
There were faint whispers in front of her, and some of the foals turned around to peer back at her and her eccentric manestyle. Swarm self consciously rubbed a hoof through her mane, casting her gaze back and forth before she screwed up her face in concentration. A glow of green overtook her mane and tail, and it returned to its normal shape and colour, melting back down to flowing and golden-blond while her coat colour melted back to grey.
Several of the foals stared, and then pushed their chairs further away from the strange pegasus/unicorn filly.
Swarm splayed her ears backwards in confusion, rubbing a hoof up over her horn and twitching her wings self-consciously.
Recess was a new phenomenon for Swarm, and she wandered out from the classroom in mild confusion. Already, the other ponies had sorted themselves into groups. The largest group, the unicorns, were off to one side, at the food table, helping themselves to the fruit and sandwiches. A group of pegasi stood to the side, smaller than the unicorns. And a lone earth pony minced his way back and forth near the pegasi, looking out of place in both groups. Swarm felt very alone standing by herself.
Waiting for the unicorns and pegasi to finish at the table, she joined the earth pony in taking their pick of the remaining food. All of the good stuff was taken already, but Swarm found half a peanut butter sandwich hidden underneath a half-eaten apple. She automatically offered it to the earth pony.
The earth pony, a young male with freckles, a bronze mane and auburn hide, took it with a muffled ‘thanks’ and then melted back into the background of the playground.
Swarm pursed her lips unhappily before ruffling through the remaining food looking for something that seemed edible. A shadow fell over the table, and Swarm looked around to find a unicorn staring down at her. The unicorn was a little bit larger than Swarm, with a clear blue hide and slightly green mane and tail. There was a pair of pretty crystal earrings in her ears.
“Are you some kind of princess?” the unicorn asked without preamble.
Swarm blinked, shrinking back slightly. “I-I don’t think so.”
“Well you have a horn and wings,” the unicorn pointed out, eyes narrowing slowly, her expression turning mean.
“M-my mommy has a horn and wings too,” Swarm stammered.
“You mean to tell me, that Princess Celestia is your mother?” the unicorn asked doubtfully, her tone chilling.
“No, my mother i-is Kuno,” Swarm said, shrinking back under the intense gaze of the other filly.
“Kuno? What a stupid name for a princess. I bet she’s some kind of useless earth pony.”
Swarm’s ears pinned back, and she shook her head. “S-she’s not a earth pony.”
“Well is she at least a unicorn?” the unicorn asked bluntly.
Swarm looked up at her, drawing in a deep breath.
“I told you that she had a horn and wings. Are you just that dense?” swarm asked as bluntly as the could.
The unicorn withdrew a step as though she had been struck, her eyes wide and her expression turning livid. “Do you know who I am?!”
Swarm brushed past her roughly, bumping her into the table in her passing, shooting a simple ‘nope!’ over her shoulder and poking out her tongue.
The unicorn turned to move after her, but a teacher stepped outside then, calling for the foals to come back in to class.
Pegasus-Kuno was sitting at the front door of the cottage when the carriage arrived, and Swarm jumped down out of it, the filly running a hoof through her mane carelessly. Luckily, the snooty unicorn lived in Canterlot itself, and didn’t need to travel to and from school in the special carriage.
Kuno held out her hooves as Swarm approached, and Swarm immediately rushed to her mother, hugging her tightly.
“I missed you,” Kuno crooned, nuzzling down against her daughters neck affectionately.
“I missed you too, mommy,” Swarm murmured, huffing faintly. “I don’t like the other foals. They’re mean.”
“All of them?” Kuno asked with a deep frown.
“All of them!” Swarm affirmed with a firm nod. The young filly looked around, blinking once. “Where’s daddy?”
Kuno paused at that, giving a reassuring smile. “Your father is just visiting an old friend is all.”
“An old friend?” Swarm asked, confused, staring up at her mother. “What old friend?”
Kuno cast her gaze towards where she knew Warden was, miles away under the old oak tree, where his first wife was buried. Kuno looked down into her daughters eyes, pursing her lips slightly as she remembered Warden’s fears that Swarm wouldn’t understand.
“Well... you see... your father is visiting, well...”
Warden was sitting in front of the gravesite, a spray bottle and a bucket sat next to him. Over the years, he had cultivated a green vine with pink flowers to grow up over the headstone, and they were currently in bloom. There was a picture of the original Swarm on the headstone, framed carefully, though weathered with age.
“Hey Swarm,” Warden murmured quietly, dropping down onto his stomach to peer at the headstone and the picture of Swarm. He knew it was stupid, but he found it somehow therapeutic to ‘talk’ to her every time he visited. “It’s been a few years, hasn’t it?”
Warden pursed his lips, giving a wan smile and rubbing his hoof against his ear helplessly. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently. Just kinda... sad that you’re not here to see little Swarm grow up. She’s a beautiful little filly now. And I know she hasn’t got... any of you inside her, but she reminds me of you sometimes. Just in the little ways.”
Warden rubbed a hoof through his mane slowly, trying to straighten it out. “I know you’d be proud of her. And I just... I really need you to know that I haven’t forgotten about you. I know I can’t really... well...” Warden licked his lips nervously, “I can’t lie to you. I love Kuno more than I loved you. I guess because... Kuno is a safety net to me, but she isn’t... Well she is my only support, really. Ack, I don’t make any sense. I’m sure you know what I mean, though, you know?”
Warden smiled helplessly at the way he stumbled over his words, before his smile fell flat and he sighed faintly, peering at the headstone. “I know you’d have made an awesome mother...”
Warden wasn’t certain how long he lay there for, but he heard a familiar rustle in the grass behind him. He gave a half-sad, half-knowing smile, and turned, expecting to find Kuno. Instead, the visage of his daughter greeted him. He blinked repeatedly, drawing himself up into a sitting position. He spied Kuno in the grass further out, just out of ear shot.
“Daddy?” Swarm queried. “Is this... is this the other Swarm?”
Warden paled at that, his ears splaying back against his skull, and he looked from his daughter, to his wife, his eyes narrowing slowly.
“Daddy?” Swarm pressed, touching his shoulder with a hoof.
Warden pursed his lips, and then nodded slightly. “Yes, hun. This is the old Swarm.”
“And I’m named after her?” Swarm asked, looking towards the headstone, her own ears splaying back.
Warden nodded gently. “Yes, you are. You’re not... mad about that, are you?”
Swarm ignored the question. “Was she a nice pony?”
“The nicest,” Warden murmured, looking from the headstone to his daughter and back again, uncertain.
“And you... you come here and talk to her?” Swarm asked warily.
Warden gave a heavy sigh, rubbing a hoof against his ear self-consciously. “Swarm... you have to understand... I don’t really think that she can hear me. I’m not crazy. I don’t even want her to hear me, I mean... well... I kinda do. But... I don’t even expect her to ans-”
One of Swarm’s hooves came up to rest over his muzzle, in a motion that her mother used often when Warden began to talk too much. Warden was about to reprimand her, when the young filly turned to the headstone with an uncharacteristically sombre expression.
“Hi Swarm. I don’t know who you are... but my daddy named me after you, so you must have been pretty special! And isn’t it just weird that we have the same name?! I see you don’t have a horn, so you must be a pegasus! And pegasus are kinda cool, you know-”
Warden bit his bottom lip, pulling back slightly as Swarm dropped her hoof from his mouth. He grit his teeth, swallowing thickly, feeling tears springing into his eyes.
A touch at his shoulder made him turn, and Kuno was there, hugging him warmly, nuzzling in to whisper into one of his ears. “See? She’s mature enough to know...”
Warden nodded silently, resting his nose against his wife’s neck and watching his daughter related her first day of school to the headstone.
Warden heaved a long, heavy sigh, looking up towards the heavens and the spray of water cascading down from the heavy thunderclouds. It was morning, the sun was barely up, and he was standing in the rain, tending to his aurora vines.
With the onset of rain, Warden had to crawl out of bed and immediately run to the vines to make sure they weren’t getting soaked. They were a notoriously finicky plant to grow and harvest, and he was one of the very few left who could do it. Too much water and they would bloat and over-ripen, resulting in an entire failure of the crop. Too little water, and they would wither and die. It was a delicate balance, and every rainy season, Warden almost lived at the site, a necessity to keep the vines alive.
Kuno clicked her beak, raptorial head tilting to one side as her feathery wings twitched, sending off a spray of small droplets. Swarm was huddled up underneath one of the wings, half-dozing, annoyed at being awoken so early. She was still adjusting to having to wake up early enough for school. Kuno had opted for a griffonic form due to the beading effect of the oil in their feathers that allowed them to shrug off heavy rain without the moisture penetrating to the skin itself.
“Are you sure I can’t help?” Kuno asked, her tone garbled and with a peculiar accent due to the beak.
Warden gave a long-suffering sigh, shaking his head back at his wife. “Not unless you can tell by looking at the plants how much water they’ve already soaked up.”
“I can tell if they’re wet?” Kuno offered with a faint giggle.
Warden rolled his eyes at that, nudging one of the heavy fruits with his hoof to shake off some of the water, before erecting a small, homemade umbrella above it.
“Why can’t you just put the umbrella over the vine?” Kuno asked, mildly exasperated.
“Because aurora sucks and life hates me,” Warden responded bluntly, shaking his head slightly. “Two of the main plants they used to create aurora gained water both through leaves and through roots. The vine limits the amount of water delivered, and shouldn’t get too waterlogged, but if too much water falls on the fruits and the leaves themselves, they just absorb it. Kinda like if you eat nutmeg it’s all good, but if you inject it, you die.”
“I hate aurora,” Kuno said calmly, clicking her beak again and giving her feathers another quiver to get the beading water off them.
Warden chuckled at that, pursing his lips and placing another umbrella carefully over top of another fruit. “I hate it too, but it’s a job.”
Swarm cut him off then, by giving a faint whine and squirming against her mother’s side.
“You didn’t have to wake her up, you know,” Warden stated with a shake of his head.
“What, and let you come up here by yourself?” Kuno asked, arching a brow.
Warden paused then, giving her a long stare. “I’m a big boy now, Kuno. I don’t need help.”
Kuno gave him a long stare in response, head tilting slightly to the left. “And last time I let you come up here alone, I had to rescue you from that ditch,” she said, jerking a talon over her shoulder.
Warden flushed at that, looking away and mumbling something.
“No, I won’t ever let you live that down,” Kuno said sweetly, smiling at him and batting her eyes.
“That doesn’t work when you’re a griffon, Kuno. It looks more like you want to eat me,” Warden pointed out, as he frowned at one of the fruits and sighed, before twisting it off the vine and throwing it towards the centre of the ravine. It landed in a stream of water that was on its way out of the ravine and quickly disappeared.
“Those aren’t dangerous just lying around like that?” Kuno asked, slightly worried.
“If you ate it? Sure. But it’s bright orange,” he said with a faint shrug. “Anything stupid enough to eat it... well, it was just its time to move on from this world.”
“And if our daughter should happen to pick one of them up and eat them?” Kuno asked flatly, her eyes narrowing.
“Then she’d die,” Warden said grimly. “Quite painfully, I’d imagine.”
“You don’t have a problem with that?” Kuno growled, her hackles rising.
Warden laughed faintly and shook his head. “Kuno, Swarm hasn’t been putting random things in her mouth ever since I spilled those jalapenos that one time.”
Kuno huffed faintly at that, rubbing her beak with a paw. “I still worry.”
“I know, because you’re a mother. It’s my job to be utterly flippant and subject our child to reasonable danger to counterbalance your anal retentive tendencies,” Warden said with a grin.
“I don’t know if you’re making a jab at my motherly instincts or trying again to -”
Warden held up a hoof, cutting her off with a frown. “Not in front of the kid.”
Kuno giggled faintly, tilting her head to one side with the most innocently of expressions on her griffonic face. “You realise that she’s half-changeling, right? She’ll learn about sex and the like far, far earlier than the other students. And she’ll want to partake in it just as early.”
Warden’s expression darkened at that, and he shook his head slowly. “Not in my house, she won’t.”
“Why are ponies so stuck up?” Kuno asked with a shake of her head. “It’s a natural part of growing up as a changeling.”
“But completely wrong when growing up as a pony!” Warden countered with a low growl. “I don’t believe you can speak of it so... flippantly. That’s our daughter!”
Kuno raised a brow at that. “I know she’s our daughter. And I want what’s best for her.”
“How could that possibly be what’s best for her?” Warden asked, turning to stare at her, ignoring the rain dripping across his muzzle.
“You’re looking at things from the point of view of a pony, again,” Kuno said with a shake of her head.
“Then explain it to me,” Warden said bluntly, sitting down on his rump with a wet splat and staring at her with narrowed eyes.
“Well, a changeling learns about sex very early because it’s the easiest way to get love,” Kuno said with the slightest shrug of her shoulders. “It’s simple survival.”
“And you think that our daughter is going to be going around seducing the males of the school for love?” Warden asked flatly.
Kuno looked away at that, clicking her beak, her cheeks flushing just faintly. “W-well, when you put it that way...”
“No, Kuno. There is no ‘way’. She’s going to grow up as a pony. She doesn’t need to grow up as a changeling, whoring herself out for love.” Warden snorted, pursing his lips and pawing at the ground with his good hoof.
Kuno’s griffonic ears splayed back at that, and she clenched her beak, refusing to look at her husband. “I have to take Swarm to school.”
“Oh, you are not going to just wriggle your way out of-”
A faint whimper cut him off, and Swarm’s nose wiggled out from under the warm wing, followed by the head of a sleepy foal. “‘R you and daddy fighting?” she asked wearily.
“No honey,” Kuno said soothingly, tightening her wing around the foal slightly, turning away from Warden. “C’mon, we gotta get you to the school carriage.”
Warden frowned at that, his ears splaying back. “Kuno, wait.”
Kuno looked back over her shoulder for a long moment, before turning away. “Don’t fall in a ditch, Warden.”
Warden sighed, his head lowering slightly as he watched his wife walk away.
A tired, wet foal crawled up into the carriage, wiping her hooves off with an expression of distaste. She picked a seat in the corner of the carriage again, and crawled into it, curling up on the chilly seat and resting her nose on the window, watching the fog expand and contract across it in time with her breathing.
There were mutters around her about ‘griffons’, but Swarm ignored it, closing her eyes and settling her face against the cold window with a soft sigh. The carriage jolted as it started away from the house, and Swarm blinked an eye open to wave at her mother as the house began to recede into the distance.
It was drizzling heavily in Canterlot as the carriage pulled up in front of the school. Swarm was the last one out, dropping down onto the muddy ground and staggering towards the front door of the school. The foals were all instructed to wipe off their hooves before they would be let inside, given the use of several towels to clean themselves off.
Swarm was the last in line to this too, meekly rubbing her hooves down with an old raggedy towel, and then standing in line with the rest of the foals.
The classroom from the previous day had been transformed, and was now littered with easels and bright, primary-coloured paints in small jars.
“Two to a easle, class!” Sparkling Acumen, the teacher called, waving a hoof for attention. “Pick a partner, everypony!”
There was a rustle of movement as the foals all tried to pick a single partner, and the hubbub of conversation as they argued as to who would be with who.
Swarm quietly stayed at the back of the class, intending to get an easel when everyone else had chosen.
But it seemed that the teacher had thought it out better than Swarm had, and there was a pair of children per easel, with no spare for Swarm to take. Swarm frowned, looking from the paint, to the easels, and then quietly sitting down on her rump at the back of the room.
It was only a minute or two before the teacher noticed, and she made her way to the back of the room, quietly asking, “Why aren’t you at your easel?”
Swarm’s ears pinned back, and she nervously brushed a lock of her mane out of her face. “O-oh, I’m fine, Miss Acumen.”
“No, come, there is an easel up front you can use,” Shining Acumen retorted, turning neatly on her hooves and striding towards the front of the room.
The conversation had been quiet, but Swarm could feel the eyes of nearly everypony in the room burning into her back as she walked meekly towards the front of the class, following Shining Acumen.
Swarm’s heart fell as she saw that the easel was occupied.
A young unicorn was at the easel, already having started to draw a large house with a long driveway on one half of the paper. His name, Wrought Iron, was already written across the top of his half of the page in neat letters.
Swarm stared up at the picture, eyes widening. “You can already write your name?”
The unicorn turned to stare at her, a look of disdain crossing his features. “I’m just that good,” he said with a wave of his hoof, sending a splat of black dots across the clean half of the page.
Shining Acumen nodded towards the easel, “You can use the other half.”
Swarm wrinkled her nose slightly, before she nervously approached the easel, picking up a brush.
Warden limped through the front door of the house with the merest of whimpers, grimacing and shaking himself off as best he could. His entire left side was caked with mud, leaves, and twigs from a tumble down a slope, and his hoof was refusing to take any weight at all now.
Kuno looked up from her magazine, in her true changeling form, and sniffed once. “You need a bath,” she said bluntly.
Warden nodded, pursing his lips and stepping sideways into the bathroom. He leant over the tub heavily and flicked on the hot water, before just bodily flopping into the water without hesitation. Almost instantly, the water turned a murky brown. Wrinkling his nose in distaste, he wiggled around to free up some of the mud from his wing and side, before he put the plug in the drain and let the tub start filling.
“Did you roll in it?” Kuno asked from the doorway, snorting once.
Warden raised an ear slowly, and then shrugged. “Only a little.”
“You’re a mess,” Kuno accused, stepping over to the side of the tub.
“That tends to happen,” Warden responded calmly, wincing as he reached for the soap.
Kuno snatched it up before he could get to it, sighing and shaking her head. “I’m looking after two foals,” she stated flatly, as she crawled into the bath behind him and began to clean his wing.
Warden leaned forwards as far as he could, extending his bad wing gingerly and biting his tongue as Kuno began to clean it.
“We’re not going to talk about what happened earlier?” Warden asked.
“We had a fight, the end.” Kuno scrubbed a little bit harder, and Warden cried out. “Sorry,” Kuno mumbled, making her strokes gentler.
Warden winced, resting his good hoof on the edge of the tub and gritting his teeth slightly, before peering back at her. “But you were wrong. I have to press my advantage.”
“Yes, I was wrong, can you just drop it?!” Kuno snapped, huffing and crossing her hooves in front of herself, looking away.
Warden frowned deeply at that, turning around to face her, lifting a hoof to touch at her cheek.
Kuno frowned deeply, pushing it away and growling softly.
“What is the matter with you?” Warden asked, mystified.
Kuno huffed, not answering for several long seconds, before she deflated completely, burying her face in her hooves. “I feel so... so... just useless.”
Warden blinked one, confused, shifting closer to the changeling and lifting her chin with a hoof. He was surprised to find a trail of tears wending their way down her cheeks. Kuno never cried.
“What do you mean, Kuno?” Warden asked, frowning deeply.
Kuno sniffled slightly, jerking away from him and looking away, her ears pinned back. “I can’t even raise my own daughter.”
Warden shook his head at that, still completely confused. “What... what do you even mean?”
“Everything I try to teach her is wrong!” Kuno protested, waving a hoof wildly. “Every little thing I teach her is just wrong!”
Giving an exasperated sigh, Warden shook his head again. “The things you’re trying to teach her don’t work for a pony.”
“And that’s the problem,” Kuno stated flatly, turning to regard him with an eerily quiet stare. “She’s a pony. You’re a pony. It’s become evident that you and her would be better with another pony, and not some stupid changeling teaching her things that she doesn‘t need to know.”
Warden was aghast at that, shaking his head firmly. “No, Kuno, no. Don’t even start with that.”
“I’ve already started,” Kuno responded flatly. “I’m doing more harm than good. I don’t know how to raise a pony. I know how to raise a changeling.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” Warden said firmly, pressing closer and wrapping his hooves around the changeling tightly. “I’m here to tell you when you’re screwing up and teaching her some really terrible things for integration into pony society.”
“S-so you’re just here to tell me that I’m wrong all the time?” Kuno asked, her bottom lip quivering, limp in the hug.
Warden frowned, and then nodded gently, kissing her nose. “Yes, Kuno. I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong all the time, because you are wrong all the time. That’s just... a fact. I can’t sugar-coat it.”
Kuno’s ears splayed back at that, and she nodded slowly. “I... I guess you’re right...”
“Am I winning this argument?” Warden asked, his tone amazed.
“You were practical,” Kuno said, rubbing at her cheek with a hoof. “And changelings are practical.”
Warden nodded gently, kissing her cheek soothingly. “I don’t want to... hurt you. But I can’t just pretend like it’s okay for you to teach our daughter that seducing random colts is a good idea.”
“I... I know,” Kuno admitted, frowning deeply to herself. “But I feel so... lost... even if you’re right and I’m just being stupid, I still don’t... I don’t like being wrong all the time. I don’t like not being good at being a mother.”
“You’re an amazing mother,” Warden soothed, squeezing the changeling tightly. “You just need someone to tell you the difference between ponies and changelings so you don’t screw up.”
Kuno nodded gently, biting her bottom lip and staring at him for a long moment, tears building in her eyes again. “W-Warden... I appreciate what you’re doing... and t-that she’s your daughter as well... but... can you just...” she trailed off again, looking away and biting her lip harder.
Warden nudged her gently, soothingly squeezing at her wings. “Yes? Anything.”
Kuno lowered her ears, and snorted faintly, wiping her eyes with a hoof. “C-can you just not be so... s-so mean about it?”
Warden blinked slowly at that, completely mystified again. “Mean?”
“Mean,” Kuno repeated quietly. “I can... I can handle being wrong. I’ll admit that I was wrong. It’s a stupid thing to teach to a foal. I should have realised. But... when you talk to me like that...it hurts...”
Warden frowned deeply, wrapping his hooves around the changeling tightly and holding her close. “I’m sorry, Kuno... I didn’t realise.”
Kuno gave a weak laugh at that. “I don’t like you to see me being all stupid and weak...”
Warden nodded, soothingly rubbing his good hoof against one of her wings. “I’ll try to be less mean.”
“And I’ll try to be less of a screw up,” Kuno said firmly, wiping her eyes with a hoof again.
“You’re not a screw up,” Warden murmured, kissing her nose gently. “You’re just... different. And I have to let you know when you’re being too different.”
Kuno nodded in response, resting her nose against his shoulder. “Just... give me some time, yeah? I’m still trying to figure all this mother stuff out.”
Warden nodded, squeezing the changeling tightly. “But don’t you ever dare say we’d be better off with a pony, ever again.”
Kuno raised a brow slowly at him, a silly smile spreading across her features. “Or else what, hmm? Are you threatening me?”
“Not threatening, promising,” Warden said with a firm nod. “Very fine legal difference.”
Kuno wrapped her hooves around his neck and kissed his neck gently. “Oh you know how all the lawyer talk gets me all riled up.”
“I’m gonna take my tax return and juxtapose a restructuring loan right on top of your inbox,” Warden whispered into her ear heatedly.
Kuno giggled faintly and kissed his nose gently. “I love you, you goof.”
Warden smiled down at his wife, squeezing her tightly with his good hoof. “And I love you too. Don’t you ever think that anything else matters more than that.”
Kuno frowned just slightly at that, and then hugged him firmly. “Just... remind me sometimes?”
“I promise,” Warden said, giving her a gentle kiss.
Swarm stared glumly at her half of the paper set up on the easel.
A black splatter of ink was strewn across the centre of it, from the careless flick of Wrought Iron’s hoof.
Swarm was wrestling with the idea of putting an image on paper. It was a crazy idea to her.
“U-uhm, Miss Acumen?” Swarm asked uncertainly, looking towards the older mare.
The teacher stepped closer, looking Swarm up and down. “Yes, is there a problem?”
Swarm looked down at her forehooves, mincing them back and forth nervously. “H-how do I paint?”
Sparkling Acumen paused at that, a deep frown creasing her already wrinkled face. “What do you mean... how?”
“I... don’t know how,” Swarm said with a simple nod. “Can you teach me?”
Sparkling Acumen blinked once, before she stepped closer to the easel, and picked up a brush. Leaning in, she drew a simple circle, a line for a neck, four lines for legs, and then another circle for the head. She dipped the brush into the water, swished it around to get it clean, and then went for the red, scrawling in a mane and tail with a practised flick of her wrist. “There.”
Swarm blinked, her head tilting to the side slowly. “What is it?”
Sparkling Acumen stared for a long moment, beginning to look offended. “It’s a...” she paused, turning to Wrought Iron. “Iron, what is this drawing of?”
“It’s a pony,” Wrought Iron said with a shrug.
Swarm stared, blinking once. “No it’s not.”
Sparkling Acumen paused again at that, leaning closer to the point, before pointing with the end of the brush. “Look, mane, tail, body, head.”
Swarm blinked and leaned closer, her expression bewildered. “But... it doesn’t look anything like a pony.”
Sparkling Acumen sighed faintly, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. “It’s a painting. It’s not supposed to be perfect.”
Swarm frowned deeply, rubbing a hoof through her mane uncertainly. “Then... why bother painting at all?”
The teacher stared at her student for a long moment, shaking her head. “Because it’s fun.”
Swarm blinked at that. “Oh. Okay!” she said brightly, moving forwards to pick up the brush.
Sparkling Acumen stared at the young filly for several long moments, before she leaned in close to whisper into her ear. “Swarm... who is your mother?”
“Kuno,” Swarm responded idly, staring intently at the canvas.
“What kind of pony is she?” Sparkling Acumen queried.
Swarm blinked once, shifting her attention to the teacher. “She’s not a pony. She’s a changeling.”
Sparkling Acumen stiffened slightly at that, her brows furrowing. “I suspected...”
A series of heated whispers started up from the easel behind Swarm, and her ears reddened as she realised that other foals had heard. She cast her gaze towards Wrought Iron, but he was focusing on his drawing, and didn’t seem to have heard.
Warden sighed faintly as he trudged along the long road towards Ponyville, limping heavily on his bad hoof. He had several things to do in Ponyville. He had to find an employee that was capable of at least helping tend to the aurora crop, get supplies for the house, and for the aurora itself. There was special fertilizer to buy and mix with certain herbs to ensure that the aurora didn’t die. There was also a certain thing he intended to do in Ponyville that he was careful to keep from Kuno. He had gone far enough to ensure that she stayed home just to make sure she didn’t inadvertently find out about it.
After almost an hour of walking, Warden finally made it to Ponyville, pausing to sit on a park stool and rest with a faint groan. Warden missed flying. It was so much faster and simpler than walking. Especially with such a busted hoof. Disconcertingly, Warden noted that his good hoof was thicker and more defined in musculature than his bad hoof. His crippled limb was wasting away from lack of use.
A heavy sigh left the pegasus as he rolled off the bench and continued into town, huffing faintly. It felt like he might be coming down with something. Warden thought it likely that it would be a common cold, as he had spent enough time in the rain and cold recently to warrant it.
Warden headed for the garden centre first, pushing his way through the old bead curtain and into the dark shop. The smell of fertilizer, acrid and powerful, immediately assaulted his senses. The pegasus paused, lifting his nose and inhaling deeply, before giving a low sigh. He had always loved that smell.
A strangely familiar scent found his nostrils underneath the pungent aroma of fertilizer, and Warden turned with a blink towards a corner of the room. An earth pony was arranging the packets of seeds to make them line up all neat and proper. She had a lovely green mane and the softest of brown coats, with a single green plant shoot on her rump as a cutie mark.
The earth pony swiveled around to peer back over her shoulder, giving a wry smile. “Well, fancy running into you here, Warden.”
“Small world, huh?” Warden asked, shaking his head slowly. “What are you doing here?”
“I got sick and tired of the cold. And Mint Green needed a place to go to school. The crystal empire ponies are... well, let’s just say I didn’t want him learning in their schools,” Green hoof said with a firm wave of her hoof.
“Mint Green? Did you have a foal?” Warden asked with a faint laugh and a shake of his head.
Green Hoof snorted once, raising a brow. “Why so incredulous? Last I checked, I had the needed bits and pieces to have a foal.”
“You just never struck me as the motherly type,” Warden said, scratching his chin with a hoof. “You were pretty obsessed with your work. I didn’t think you’d have time to raise a foal.”
Nodding in understanding, Green Hoof turned back to the row of seed packets, making sure they were all straight. “Well, Stunning Facet and I divided our time to raise him.”
“Ahhh, Stunning Facet? Isn’t he that rich crystal pony that runs the jewellery store?” Warden queried.
“He relocated here to Ponyville with us, he sources gems straight from Miss Rarity and cuts them to fit to jewellery, it’s pretty lucrative work,” Green Hoof said with a faint smile, turning to begin straightening up the bags of fertilizer.
“Then... why are you working here in this old place if your husband makes so much money?” Warden asked, genuinely confused.
“Well... after Mint Green started going to school, I had a lot of time at home, alone. I don’t really know the whole gem business... and I need something to do during the day so I don’t go stir crazy,” Green Hoof admitted, grimacing and rubbing a hoof through her mane.
Warden nodded in understanding. “So you’re not really... tied to any one place?”
Green hoof paused at that, and then gave a wry smile. “I think I got this job more as sympathy than any real need for a helper.”
“Well...” Warden paused, giving a helpless shrug. “I need an extra worker. I have to produce more of my crop.”
“And... what exactly are you growing?” Green Hoof asked carefully.
Warden gave a slow smile at that. “How would you like to help grow one of the hardest-to-grow plants in all equestria?”
Swarm stared up at her half of the page for a long, long moment, frowning deeply. Wrought Iron had already finished his side of the page, having painted a dark splotch that he said was an anvil with a hammer on top of it. It was just a meaningless shape to her.
“Uhm... Miss Acumen?” Swarm asked, looking up at the older mare.
Sparkling Acumen frowned slightly, stepping closer to the filly, leaning down to converse quietly. “What’s the matter this time, Swarm?”
“What do I draw?” Swarm asked uncertainly, looking around, bewildered.
“Anything you like,” Sparkling Acumen responded with a warm smile. “Why not your mo-er, father?”
“My father is too white,” Swarm said immediately. “And the page is white. There’s no white paint. It would be weird.”
“Very well... do you have any brothers or sisters?”
Swarm shook her head firmly.
“What are your favorite places?” Sparkling Acumen asked.
“I really like daddy’s garden and the Everfree Forest,” Swarm admitted, rubbing a hoof against her chin. “But they’re both really far away and I can’t draw them if they’re so far away.”
“Very well... draw the easel,” Sparkling Acumen suggested.
Swarm blinked, and her pupils dilated slightly, before she snorted and shook her head rapidly as if to clear it. “But then I’d be painting a picture of an easel on it that has a picture of an easel on it and that has another picture of an easel on it and I can’t paint that small!”
Sparkling Acumen sighed faintly, shaking her head. “Very well. Draw whatever you can see out the window. The palace, perhaps?”
Swarm pondered on that for a long moment, before she nodded slightly, smiling brightly. “I’ll draw the palace!”
Warden hummed happily as he made his way towards a small house on the outside of Ponyville. It was a cottage, with a neat front garden, and a swing hanging from an apple tree. It was a very unassuming place, but there was something off about the cottage. The faint smell of antiseptic wafted from inside, and even though their were warm candles lit and happy paintings in the hallway, there was no mistaking that this was not a residential address.
Staring up at the house, Warden slowly walked down the path and to the front door, knocking lightly and clearing his throat nervously.
A young unicorn mare stepped out from one of the back rooms, smiling and bowing respectfully. “Mister Warden, I assume?’
Warden nodded wordlessly, licking his lips.
“Right this way, sir,” the mare said, pivoting and then heading down the hallway.
Warden followed her, feeling a little bit nervous and twitchy. It was his first time there, but the reputation of the place preceded it. There were several closed doors, and the faint sound of moans and groans coming from behind them, as well as the odd muffled squeal.
The young mare led him to a small room with a rather wicked-looking harness hung from the ceiling. There were purple candles on a shelf, cheery paintings on the wall, and a soft nest of cushions, as well as several tools and instruments that looked painful to say the least.
Warden cleared his throat, giving a nervous exhale. “U-uhm, here’s my bits,” he said, offering a small pouch.
“We know you’re good for it,” the mare said with a warm smile, motioning towards the harness. “This will immobilise you completely. You are allowed a bullet if you think you will scream, but the rooms are soundproofed, and we’re far enough away from the town that no one will mind. Sometimes, the screaming helps some of our patients.”
Warden stared up at the imposing set of braces and harnesses, his ears splaying. He liked to think he could keep from screaming, but past experiences told him otherwise. “I-I think I’ll take the bullet.”
The mare nodded knowingly. “Well, come climb up and I’ll get you set up. Our specialist is with another patient right now, but she’ll be done in a few minutes.”
Warden nodded quietly, sidling up to the harness and eying it curiously. “Erm... how do I get into this thing?”
The mare tilted her head, and her horn glowed, her magic literally lifting him off his hooves and into position. Warden’s weight came down across the harnesses, his hooves a few inches from the floor, and then the mare was there to soothingly stroke at his mane.
“Try not to panic. We’re not going to do anything too unreasonable to you,” she murmured soothingly, starting to cinch down the straps. “It is your right wing that is injured?”
Warden nodded jerkily. “P-please try to be gentle on it. M-my right hoof is also crippled.”
“We’ll try not to hurt you, Sir Warden, but please remember, given what we are going to do to you... pain is almost a certainty,” the mare reminded gently.
Warden nodded shakily. “I-I know. I knew that when I made my appointment...”
The mare smiled at that. “Good. Some ponies come here thinking that they’re in for some kind of spa treatment, it is nice to know that you’ve done your research.”
The straps were all tightened and cinched down, and then it was time for Warden’s wings to be extended. The mare was gentle, but he still winced in pain when his right wing was fully extended into a position it hadn’t held in many months.
“Now, I’m going to give you a ball to hold, Warden. This is very, very important. If at any time you want us to stop, then you need merely drop the ball, you understand?” the mare asked warmly, smiling at him.
Warden nodded jerkily. “Y-yeah, I know how this works.”
“Try not to drop the bullet,” the mare said, as she placed the ball in his hoof. “If it’s dropped in the middle of a strenuous activity, then our specialist won’t stop to replace it. We’ve had patients almost bite through their own tongues in that instance.”
Warden paled at that, starting to rethink his choice.
“Now, I’m going to give you something that will make you feel good and content, okay? You’re not allergic to opioids, are you?”
Warden shook his head slightly. “I-I don’t think so.”
“Good. Now, bite this,” the mare said, holding up a vaguely cylindrical length of wood with purple cloth wound around it.
Warden opened his mouth, taking the bullet into it and biting down on it firmly. There was the prick of a needle at the base of his neck, just above his shoulder, and he shuddered as a wash of contentedness washed over him. He barely even blinked as an oriental mare unicorn stepped in through one of the back doors, brushing a strand of mane out of her face.
“This is Mr Warden?” she asked brusquely.
The younger mare nodded. “Yes ma’am.”
“Very well, let’s get started,” she said, scooping up a jar of powder and dusting her hooves with it.
Swarm stared up at her newly-created picture of the Canterlot palace. She’d had to cut it off prematurely when she found out that she started painting too big.
The other foals had all gone to recess, and she was still sitting there painting, scratching the surface of the paint with the blunt end of the paintbrush and blurring it with dabs of a tissue, and even with a piece of paper she had found, when she wanted a rougher texture.
Sparkling Acumen sat behind her, staring over her shoulder in awe.
“You’ve never painted before?” the mare asked, dumbstruck.
“Never,” Swarm said with a faint shrug, her wings giving the faintest of flutters. “Isn’t it obvious? It looks horrible. I can barely even tell what it is.”
Sparkling Acumen slowly shook her head, staring at the rending of the Canterlot Palace.
It was an almost perfect painting of the palace. Swarm had somehow managed to capture the texture of bricks in the painting, and the colour of her sky was a perfect match to the sky outside, even to the point where it faded to more white along the horizon. The foliage and the cliffs were just smudges of brown and green, mere impressions of greenery and mountain. But the castle itself was sharp and focused. However, there was something off about her picture.
Sparkling Acumen couldn’t put her hoof on it exactly, but something about the painting made her uneasy. It reminded her of when the changelings had attacked, and merely glancing towards the castle had sent chills down her spine. It emanated evil somehow back then, and now, on the foal’s painting, it did the same.
“Swarm... are you trying to make this painting... unsettling?” Sparkling Acumen asked quietly.
Swarm blinked once, shaking her head. “I’m just drawing what I see.”
“Well...what do you see when you look at the palace?”
Swarm pondered on that for a long moment, scratching her chin with the blunt end of the paint brush, marking her grey fur with black paint unknowingly. “I see the palace. Where the evil princess lives.”
Sparkling Acumen stared at the foal for a long, long moment, shaking her head slowly. “I think I shall need to talk to your parents.
Warden stepped heavily down the front steps of the small cottage, a faint, distracted smile on his face. Although everything was still a little hazy from the opioids, he was told that everything had gone smoothly. There was a strong sense of ‘wrongness’ that had been righted, something that he hadn’t even been aware of, even though his hoof and especially his wing ached far more than usual due to the rough treatment they’d received.
The young mare waved him farewell from the front door, smiling warmly. “Come back soon, Mister Warden, we’d be happy to help you with your other little problem.”
Warden nodded weakly over his shoulder, before starting to limp back towards the centre of Ponyville. He would catch a carriage halfway to Canterlot, and at least save him a half hour or so of walking.
Warden was just happy that, during the entire ordeal, he had managed not to scream.
Warden was limping heavier than ever by the time he made it home, his wing and hoof stiff and unwieldy from the rough treatment he had received. The opioids they’d used at the ‘clinic’ had well and truly worn off, and he was looking forwards to soaking his hoof and wing liberally in wonder weed.
Thankfully, Warden didn’t have to carry anything, having arranged, as usual, for it all to be delivered to his home that afternoon.
Kuno was nowhere to be found in the front yard, and Warden assumed she was somewhere in the house. He pushed the front door open with a hoof and a heavy sigh, easing inside and pushing the door closed with a hindhoof, proceeding into the house proper.
The door to the bedroom he and Kuno shared was slightly ajar, and a candle was lit within, casting a flickering orange glow on the wall.
Warden frowned, limping up to the door and nudging it open with a shoulder.
Spitfire was laid out across Warden and Kuno’s bed, resting with her back to him. She was wearing the full Wonderbolt costume, with the furtight blue fabric hugging every little curve of her form. Her head lifted, and she looked back over her shoulder at him, one large yellow wing flexing lazily.
There was even a pair of very authentic-looking Wonderbolt goggles pushed up just under her fiery mane.
“K-Kuno?” Warden asked in a strained tone, his eyes wide, staring.
Spitfire’s low, smoky voice made Warden slightly weak in the knees as she responded. “Kuno is on holiday, Warden. I’ve taken her place for now. Why, what is it that you would do with your darling wife that you wouldn’t do with me, hmm?”
Warden felt his mouth go dry, his cheeks warming heavily. “K-Kuno, what are you doing?”
“I already told you,” Spitfire said brusquely, rolling over to face Warden and then dropping onto her hooves, prowling closer to him, pushing her nose up under his chin, nudging his head upwards slightly as she inhaled his scent. “Kuno isn’t here. And I’m recruiting. You’ll be no good to me in the air with that wing, so you’re gonna have to prove your worth me in some... other way.”
Warden swallowed hard, his ears splaying back and his good wing giving a nervous twitch. “S-Spitfire, this is -” Warden paused then, shaking his head to clear it. “Kuno, what are you doing?”
Spitfire gave a low, husky growl in the back of her throat, gripping him with surprisingly powerful hooves, and throwing him bodily onto the bed.
Warden hissed with a sharp intake of air, teeth clenching at the strain it put on his roughed-up wing.
“Suck it up, buttercup!” Spitfire growled, pulling herself atop him, straddling his form. “You’re gonna have to be a little tougher than that to impress me, rookie!”
Warden could feel every inch of the Wonderbolt captain pressing against him, the firm muscles shifting under the taut fabric of her flight suit, even her warm exhalations brushing across the fur of his face. He gave a weak squirm, pushing at the pegasus’ chest with his forehooves. “K-Kuno, stop.”
“You keep telling me to stop,” Spitfire breathed into his ear, swirling her tongue along it with a slow, eager motion. She deliberately pushed their hips together, smiling wickedly, “But your body is telling me otherwise...”
“Kuno, stop.” Warden pushed a hoof firmly against her chest, before he wrapped both around her form and then rolled them both over, until he was pinning the pegasus to the bed, holding her down under his weight, leaning heavily on his good hoof.
“But you want this,” Spitfire cooed, staring up at him with a slow, coy smile.
“I want my wife,” Warden stated flatly, narrowing his eyes down at her.
Spitfire shifted uncomfortably, and for the first time, Warden saw a crack in Kuno’s facade.
The mare shifted slightly, looking away as she said softly, “No you don’t...”
Warden blinked, entirely confused at the response. “What?”
Spitfire frowned up at him, and then gave a long sigh, her features drooping. A flash of green encompassed her, and his wife was suddenly under him instead of the Captain of the Wonderbolt. The suit, formerly tight and curve-hugging, now hung loose and baggy on the changeling. The goggles slipped down over her face clumsily, and Warden lifted a hoof to push them up over Kuno’s head, slipping them off gently.
“What do you mean?” Warden asked with a deep frown.
Kuno frowned deeply, looking away, fidgeting at the loose suit with her forehooves. “I wanted to give you Spitfire.”
“Why?” Warden asked blankly, rubbing a hoof through his mane self-consciously.
“Because it’s one of your fantasies,” Kuno stated, lifting a hoof to push the suit away from her face, where it was bunching up.
“It was a crush. A silly little celebrity crush,” Warden pointed out, climbing off the changeling and then laying on the edge of the bed, stretching his bad wing out with a faint hiss of displeasure.
Kuno rolled onto her hooves, lifting a hoof to begin gently stroking along the wing, frowning slightly. “Your wing smells like magic.”
“Yeah,” Warden said, blinking once, pausing, before saying quickly, “The wonder weed was starting to wear off. I got a magical alternative that’ll last longer. Expensive, but worth it.”
Kuno frowned at him, her expression falling. “You’re a horrible liar, Warden.”
Warden licked his lips nervously, before deflating. “Yeah... I guess I am.”
“Aren’t I exciting to you any more?” Kuno asked plaintively, licking across her fangs in an expression of faint nervousness.
Warden blinked slowly, completely wrong-hoofed at that. “What?”
“Why aren’t you excited by me any more?” Kuno asked, just as plaintively. “I mean... I know that we’ve been together for years... but I can be any pony you want. How isn’t that alluring to you any more?”
Warden stared at Kuno for several long moments. “It’s kinda weird, hun. I don’t know Spitfire personally... never even saw her up close. The only time I ever saw her were the posters I put up in my room and that one magazine I uh... hid underneath my mattress.”
“And you wanted her,” Kuno said glumly, rubbing a hoof against her cheek sadly. “Was it because you know it’s really me under there? Is that why it’s so unexciting?”
Warden frowned deeply, confused again. “Why are you so intent on me being uninterested in you? I love you.”
“Because I can feel it. I’ve felt it ever since Swarm was born... The fire isn’t there any more, Warden. And because... because...” Kuno frowned deeply, sighing and looking away. “Because I followed you to town. I always do if I can. It keeps my skills sharp to follow you around sneakily and because I want to know everything about you. I know where you went. I saw you go into that... place.”
Warden’s ears splayed back, and he gave a faint sigh. “I can explain.”
Kuno’s hoof lifted to lay gently over his lips, silencing him as she shook her head. “You don’t need to, Warden. I know ponies. I knew that your interest would wane. I’ve been preparing for it for a long time. But you have to let me spice things up. You have to let me keep you excited with me. You don’t have to go some strange... whorehouse for your pleasures. You know that I can entertain you better than they can.”
Warden shook his head firmly, pulling back, licking his lips slightly to wet them. “Kuno... listen. You’ve got it wrong,” he said gently, leaning in to kiss her nose. “I didn’t go to a whorehouse.”
“But I saw you go in there... you came out half exhausted and panting and satisfied in a way that I haven’t been able to make you for years...” Kuno said, swallowing hard, her eyes watering slightly.
Warden gave a long sigh at that, rubbing a hoof through his mane nervously. “I wanted to keep this a secret... keep it a surprise...”
“That you went to a whorehouse?” Kuno asked flatly.
“You’re over-analyzing the situation, Kuno,” Warden said, lifting his good hoof to wrap around her neck and hold her close against his side, kissing her neck gently through the flight suit.
“Then explain to me how what I saw was anything other than you visiting a whorehouse,” Kuno stated flatly, begrudgingly rubbing her nose against his neck.
“I...” Warden trailed off, staring down at the floor and then heaving a heavy sigh. “They’re a new clinic in Ponyville. They’re erm... some kind of physical therapists. They use alternative medicine to try and heal injuries that regular doctors are incapable of fixing. They basically cut my wing open, chipped off the bone that had grown over, mixed up the resulting bone fragments with magical gems and then stuffed them back in my wing, topping it off with some magic to heal the incision, and some remedial magic to encourage the graft to take.”
“I understood exactly enough of that to be confused,” Kuno admitted, frowning deeply.
“I tried to get my wing fixed,” Warden said with a heavy sigh.
Kuno blinked once and stared at him, bewildered. “Why would you want to keep that secret?!”
Warden gave a sad smile. “I wanted it to be a surprise. I won’t know for at least a month if the graft is taking. And even then, it’ll be months more of training to even be able to fly again, considering I haven’t used my wings in years. I wanted... I wanted to take you flying. Like I did on our wedding night. But I don’t want to be doped up while it’s happening.”
Kuno frowned deeply, staring into his eyes, searching him. “You’re... not lying...” she murmured, frowning deeply.
“I thought you’d be happy?” Warden said, growing exasperated.
Kuno frowned even further, biting her bottom lip. “But... I’ve felt your love for me waning. Why?”
Warden likewise frowned, his ears pinning back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Kuno nudged him with her nose. “Before Swarm died... there was a fire there. It was hot, intense. It was intoxicating and wild. Like a bonfire on a moonless night. It just radiated this fierce energy... And now it’s died down.”
Warden frowned, staring down at his forehooves. “I guess... I guess my love for you has dimmed a little bit... But... it hasn’t diminished. Just because the flame isn’t as bright doesn’t mean that the coals aren’t there any more. If that makes any sense at all...”
Kuno shook her head. “It doesn’t.”
Warden leaned sideways to kiss his wife’s nose gently. “When I first met you... I was under the influence of your spell. That obviously boosted it a fair amount. And then that spell was gone... and I fell back in love with you, for real... and...” Warden trailed off, biting his bottom lip and taking a deep breath. “And you were my replacement for my ex wife... I fell for you hard, Kuno. I won’t lie about that. I needed you more than I needed to breathe.”
Kuno frowned slightly at that, looking down at her covered forehooves. “And now?”
“And now... I’m content,” Warden said with a slight nod. “I’m happy, and pleased. I have a beautiful, kooky wife, I have a lovely little filly. I have all these things that I honestly believed I would never have. I don’t have to... grasp for you any more. I don’t have to cling to you like I’m drowning... I don’t need you any more, Kuno. I want you. I’m not dependent on you to keep my sanity any more...”
Kuno nodded at that, frowning down at her forehooves. “I... I understand, I guess. I thought I knew about love... but now I see it’s more complex than that. Thank you for... being honest.”
“You’re not hurt, are you?” Warden asked worriedly, wrapping her in his hooves and holding her close. “I still love you more than I’ve loved anything in the world.”
“I’m still... I’m still trying to work out how I feel,” Kuno murmured sincerely. “I was ready for you to grow uninterested in me... I was prepared. But when I thought that you were going to someone else for... for sex... I was... jealous.”
“That’s normal,” Warden said with a smile, leaning in to kiss her cheek gently.
“For ponies,” Kuno stated, biting her bottom lip. “It’s not rational.”
“Love isn’t rational,” Warden said gently, kissing her nose, stroking his hoof gently across her wings. “I love everything about you. Even the things that kind of creep me out. That isn’t rational.”
“I creep you out?” Kuno asked, blinking once in confusion.
Warden nodded, giving a faint smile. “You were fully intending to hold me down and have your way with me as my teenage celebrity crush. That’s weird.”
“I would have rocked your world,” Kuno stated bluntly.
“I’ve no doubt,” Warden said with a faint smile. “But I just had intensive surgery, and Swarm is due back from school any time now. The last thing we need is her walking in on us doing that. Let alone if you’re not even, well, you while it’s happening.”
Kuno blinked once, head tilting. “That’s... a bad thing?”
Warden stared. “Ponies aren’t introduced to sex until puberty.”
Kuno’s brows furrowed at that, and she looked intensely confused. “That’s like... introducing a pony to political parties only when they reach the age to vote.”
“They’re not expected to have sex until years after that!” Warden protested with a shake of his head.
“But they’re hardwired to want it pretty much as soon as they reach puberty. Keeping it secret is stupid,” Kuno stated with a shake of her head.
Warden frowned, and then wrapped his hooves around Kuno’s shoulders firmly, nosing into her neck. “Kuno... you’re being a changeling again. This is a pony thing.”
Kuno frowned deeply, biting her bottom lip, before she deflated and nodded gently. “O-okay... Thank you... for not being mean about it.”
Warden gave a sigh of relief, nosing into her neck gently. “I’m glad you’re so... methodical and rational.”
Kuno giggle faintly at that. “So... if I thought like a pony, this would have been a huge, marathon argument?”
Warden nodded, resting his nose against her neck, and then frowning deeply. “Kuno... where did the flight suit come from?”
“I uhm... got it as a birthday present for you,” Kuno said with a helpless smile. “I was going to surprise you.”
“Even though you know I’d never go for that?” Warden asked bluntly.
Kuno frowned deeply, and then looked away, shifting uncomfortably. “I-I guess...”
“Why?” Warden pressed, nudging her firmly with his nose.
Kuno gave a faint sigh, and then peered at him for a long moment. “I guess... I know you’ll never accept Spitfire under normal circumstances... but I... I get a certain thrill... and ego trip, when I’ve got you quivering with desire under me, offering you something you’ve always wanted... and you’re still so adamant that you want me instead.”
Warden gave a faint smile at that, leaning in to kiss her nose gently. “Well... It’s the truth.”
“I know,” Kuno responded, gently nibbling at his chin. “It just... makes me feel really, really good when you say it.”
“Kuno,” Warden said seriously.
“Yes?” Kuno asked, her ears flattening under the fabric of the flight suit.
Warden leaned forwards to kiss her firmly, wrapping his good hoof around her possessively. “I love you.”
Kuno was sitting at the front door of the little cottage when the carriage arrived carrying Swarm home from school. The young part-changeling stepped down out of the carriage, followed immediately by Sparkling Acumen.
Swarm scurried uncomfortably towards Kuno, sliding in behind her, her nose peeking out from behind tail and hindleg.
Sparkling Acumen narrowed her eyes slowly at Kuno, and then turned to the carriage driver, exchanging a hushed conversation, before the carriage jolted and started down the driveway again.
Cautiously, the older mare stepped up closer to the two ponies. “You are Kuno, yes?”
Kuno gave a short nod.
“I am Sparkling Acumen, and I am responsible for your daughter’s schooling. Is Warden around? I need to talk to both of you.” The elder mare looking around carefully, as though she might spy the pegasus lurking in some dark shadowy corner of the yard.
“No, he’s tending to his plants at the moment, but he should be home soon... why don’t you come in and sit down? What’s this about?” Kuno asked, stepping backwards and pushing the door to the cottage open with a hoof, motioning for Sparkling Acumen to go in first.
Sparkling Acumen took a single step forwards before pausing nervously. “I’ll... ah... after you,” she said with a weak smile.
Kuno rolled her eyes at that, giving a long-suffering sigh. “Close the door after yourself,” she said, as she turned and started into the building. “Swarm, go clean yourself up.”
Swarm nodded once, bolting inside and towards the bathroom, casting a single furtive look towards Sparkling Acumen as she went.
Kuno stepped into the hallway, and then walked down it to the kitchen, pulling out a chair and sitting at the table, crossing her hooves and laying her chin on them.
Sparkling Acumen nervously made her way down the hallway, and paused in the doorway. “May I sit down?”
“Sure,” Kuno said, pulling out a chair for the elderly mare.
Sparkling Acumen settled for a chair across the table from Kuno, frowning slightly and looking the other pony up and down slowly. “I am to understand that you are the changeling?”
“A changeling,” Kuno corrected, with an airy wave of a hoof. “The changeling gives the impression that there’s only one.”
“The school board was briefed that there was a part-changeling child that would be attending school this year, but we were given no information on which child it was,” Sparkling Acumen said candidly. “This was obviously to prevent any kind of preferential treatment.”
“You mean bias, bullying, and persecution,” Kuno responded bluntly.
“Yes, well, that too,” Sparkling Acumen admitted with a sliver of a smile. “I will admit, the horn and the wings were a strong indication.”
“What’s wrong with my horn and wings?” Swarm piped up from the doorway, pouting. “Why am I the only foal with both?”
Kuno looked towards her daughter, motioning for her to come closer.
Swarm pressed close to her mother, crawling up between her forelegs and resting her chin on the table, peering across it at her teacher.
“I guess because you’re part-changeling,” Kuno admitted, stroking a hoof gently through her daughter’s mane.
Swarm gave a faint huff at that. “Well I don’t want to be part changeling any more.”
Kuno gave the softest of giggles. “I’m afraid you’re stuck, little one.”
Swarm gave a soft whine at that. “Not fair. I don’t want to be different.”
“You’re going to be different, no matter what happens,” Sparkling Acumen stated bluntly, peering at both of them. “Excuse my bluntness, Kuno... but I would like to see your... er...”
“True form?” Kuno offered, arching a brow.
“Yes, that,” Sparkling Acumen responded, pursing her lips.
Kuno shrugged slightly, before she shivered. A flash of green flames engulfed her, and when they faded, Kuno the changeling was sitting in the chair.
Swarm hummed faintly, leaning up to nuzzle her mother’s chest happily, resting her chin on the cool chitin.
Sparkling Acumen leaned forwards, peering closely at the changeling. “How very... interesting.”
“So, small talk aside, why are you here?” Kuno queried.
Sparkling Acumen looked from Kuno, to Swarm, and then back again, giving a long sigh. “I wanted both you and Warden to be here for this conversation, but... your daughter revealed to me that she views the princess as ‘evil’. I thought this something that needed to be discussed with both you, her, and her father, before she reveals it to the entire class.”
Kuno pursed her lips, tilting her head to peer down at Swarm.
Swarm looked up at her, giving a bright, but fake smile.
Kuno shook her head slowly, giving a faint smile. “The cute face won’t work on me, Swarm. Now tell me, why do you think the princess is evil?”
Swarm wrinkled her nose, peering up at her mother. “Because she is!”
“Who told you that she’s evil?” Kuno asked, mystified.
Swarm blinked once. “Nobody told me that she’s evil.”
“Then... why do you assume that she’s evil?” Kuno asked curiously, peering down at her daughter.
Swarm shifted uncomfortably, her wings rustling slightly as they twitched. “Well... she did lots of evil things. Like... she imprisoned all the changelings! Even though you all just wanted love, she made war with you all!”
Kuno bit her bottom lip at that, frowning deeply.
“And she let people like Daggertail do bad things to daddy,” Swarm added, frowning deeply.
Kuno stiffened slightly. “How do you know about that?” she asked quietly.
Swarm huffed softly, “Because I heard you and daddy talking about it. I couldn’t sleep.”
“That wasn’t Celestia’s fault,” Kuno said uneasily.
“She’s the protector of all Equestria, isn’t she?” Swarm asked adamantly.
“Then she’s evil because she knew about Daggertail and didn’t stop him from hurting daddy! And they caught you and did mean things to you and you’re not even a bad changeling!”
Kuno sighed faintly, rubbing a hoof against her forehead. “Swarm... this is a little bit more complex than that. Celestia just wants to keep her subjects happy. She isn’t omnipotent.”
“Olliepatient?” Swarm asked, blinked, confused.
Sparkling Acumen cut in, “It means ‘all powerful’, or ‘all knowing’.”
Swarm looked up at her teacher, wrinkling her nose and rubbing her cheek against her mother’s foreleg. “Well... I still don’t care! She should have known about Daggertail and stopped him from hurting daddy so that he can fly and do whatever he likes instead of...” Swarm bit her bottom lip, looking away. “I can feel it when it hurts daddy... and it hurts daddy all the time, and it makes me want to cry. And it makes me want to hurt Daggertail. I want to make him hurt like he makes daddy hurt.”
“I already hurt him,” Kuno murmured softly, rubbing her nose through her daughter’s mane.
Sparkling Acumen stared between them, aghast.
“Swarm, hun, go to your room and play, Sparkling Acumen and I need to have a grown-up talk.”
Swarm looked up at her mother, pouting. Kuno’s resolute responding stare silenced her, and she meekly lowered her head, slipping off the chair and slinking quietly towards her room.
Sparkling Acumen waited until she was certain that Swarm was in her room, before she stared at Kuno, shaking her head. “You... killed Daggertail?”
Kuno gave a slow, mute nod.
“And you admit it? Have you no shame?!” Sparkling Acumen almost shrieked.
“Daggertail was a criminal, a thief, an extortionist, and a blight on Equestria. I did every pony from Canterlot to Ponyville a favour when I murdered that filth,” Kuno said, a surprisingly strong note of vehemence in her tone.
“Daggertail was an upstanding member of the community!” Sparkling Acumen responded, venom in her voice. “How can you so callously make such claims? I have half a mind to call the guard!”
Kuno gave a slow, eerie smile. “Feel free, Sparkling Acumen. Many of the guard are aware of my actions. They have no proof, and they seek to find none.”
“P-Princess Celestia will hear of this,” Sparkling Acumen said quietly, slipping off her chair and circling around the table, giving the changeling a wide berth. “I was willing to take a chance that a changeling could be... a pony. That you could be somehow normal. But I see now that you’re just... just a murderer.”
Kuno looked up at the elderly mare, her eyes narrowing, before she leaned forwards slightly and snapped her jaws at the air in her vague direction.
Sparkling Acumen shrieked in dismay, flailing her forehooves and as she tried to escape from the ‘attack’, falling onto her rump and then scrabbling away, rising to her hooves and bounding towards the front door as fast as her legs could carry her.
Kuno gave a thin-lipped smile as she heard the mare crying out in dismay as she ran down the length of the driveway, no doubt fearing that the changeling was following her.
Warden heaved a heavy sigh as he pushed open the front door to the cottage, groaning faintly and placing his bucket down on the floor, stretching his hoof outwards in front of him. He gave a soft whimper, biting his tongue, before he straightened up and walked as casually as he could into the kitchen.
Kuno was sitting at the table, eating some fresh banana cake she had baked, idly stuffing it between her fangs. Swarm was nowhere to be seen. Kuno looked up, breaking off a large chunk of banana cake, offering it to Warden. “I added cinnamon. It’s really nice.”
Warden accepted the piece of cake, munching on it thoughtfully, looking between Kuno and the kitchen table. “Did I miss something?”
“Just me messing up as a mother again,” Kuno said quietly.
Warden frowned deeply, licking a hoof to clean up some cinnamon crumbs, before wrapping his good hoof around his wife, hugging her reassuringly. “What happened?”
“Swarm called the princess evil,” Kuno admitted with a deep frown, leaning against Warden’s shoulder with a weary sigh.
“How is that... even a problem?” Warden asked, confused.
“Because it’s what she believes,” Kuno said, cradling her head in her hooves, leaning heavily against her husband. “She thinks that Celestia should have stopped Daggertail from hurting you... and... and she says that she can feel your pain.”
“Feel it?” Warden asked blankly.
“It’s a changeling trait... We’re... well, highly empathic,” Kuno explained, nosing into Warden’s neck, seeking warmth and reassurance. “It’s how we feel love... but when we’re young, we can feel everything. Love, hate, pain... Part of the reason I left while you were still in hospital is that... I was so in tune with you, and I was in love with you. But... your pain, it was transmitting across our ‘bond’, our ‘link’, like a fiery white pain. There are very good reasons why I don’t like to see you in pain.”
Warden frowned at that, his face falling slightly. “Well... I’m sorry that my pain affected you so acutely. We have a ‘bond’?”
Kuno nodded once. “The longer I spend with you, the more ‘in tune’ I get with your emotions. It’s not a coincidence that we feel the same emotions at the same time. You must have noticed it?”
“We always seem to be pretty in tune,” Warden admitted with a faint smile.
“Your emotions ‘bleed’ over, and I can’t help but let them affect me in turn,” Kuno explained.
Warden gave a deep frown at that, his face falling, his expression turning dark. “Kuno... you understand the implications of what you just said to me?”
Kuno blinked once, tilting her head to the left. “That your emotions affect me? Yes.”
“But... what if...” Warden trailed off, biting his bottom lip. “What if the only reason you love me is because I was in love with you and it was ‘bleeding’ over?”
Kuno paused at that, looking thoughtful, before she shrugged. “I never thought of that. Perhaps it’s true? I can’t say I was ever truly attracted to any of those I ‘fed’ upon before you... but I never spent so long with them, either.”
Warden frowned deeply, scratching at the floor with a hoof. “Doesn’t that... bother you?”
Kuno raised a brow. “Nope.”
Warden blinked once, peering at his wife for a long moment. “Are you sure?”
“Warden, I love you,” Kuno said, wrapping her hooves around his neck and hugging him tightly. “And if it’s because of my own heart, or simply because you love me, there are far worse reasons to be in love with somepony. And I’m happy.”
“But it could all be a lie,” Warden protested, his ears splayed back fully.
Kuno gave the softest of giggles, shaking her head and rubbing her nose against Warden’s slowly. “I’m happy, Warden. I have a foal with you. I chose you, even after I was away for a year. After an entire year, I was still in love with you.”
Warden gave a relieved sigh, wrapping his hooves around his wife and squeezing her tightly.
“But still... Swarm can sense it. And she said that she... well, she wants to hurt Daggertail,” Kuno said, biting her bottom lip.
Warden frowned at that. “How does she know about Daggertail?”
“She heard us talking about him, sometime... we’ve never been exactly... secretive about that information,” Kuno admitted, heaving a heavy sigh.
“Did you tell that Daggertail is gone?” Warden asked quietly.
“I told her that I hurt Daggertail plenty for what he did to you. Sparkling Acumen didn’t take that too well,” Kuno said with a faint laugh.
“Sparkling Acumen? Isn’t that Swarm’s teacher?”
“Correct.”
Warden gave Kuno a long stare. “What was she doing here?”
“Swarm told her that Celestia was evil,” Kuno explained.
Warden winced. “Oh, that must have gone over well.”
“Not as well as when I told her that I murdered Daggertail,” Kuno stated, her tone carrying a note of vicious triumph.
Warden frowned deeply at that. “Didn’t take it well?”
“I think they were romantically engaged. She seemed to think that he was a ‘good pony’, and I was a terrible monster for murdering that filth,” Kuno stated, growling and grinding her teeth together. “Threatened to call the guard on me.”
“You didn’t... antagonize her, did you?” Warden asked carefully.
“I may have snapped my jaws at her and sent her barreling down the drive towards Canterlot,” Kuno said airily.
Warden winced again. “That might not have been the best course of action.”
Kuno opened her mouth to respond, but there was a sharp knock at the door, strong and authoritative. “By royal decree, open up!”
Warden sighed, rubbing a hoof against his face helplessly. “Great, now we have to deal with the royal guard, too.” With a heavy sigh, Warden slid off the seat and moved to the front door, tugging it open and peering out. He blinked slowly.
A total of six royal guard pegasi stood, spears at the ready, flanking a large, open-top carriage which Princess Celestia herself was stepping down from.
“P-Princess?!” Warden spluttered.
Kuno leaned sideways in her chair to stare down the hallway and at the large, vivid white princess, the changeling’s eyes widening.
Swarm poked her nose out from her room, and then frowned deeply, before fixing a challenging stare at her mother. “If Celestia isn’t evil then why are you so scared of her?”
“Hello?” Celestia asked, waving a hoof in front of the pegasus’ nose slowly.
Warden blinked, snapping out of it, giving his head a shake. “U-uh hi, Princess Celestia. W-w... Uh... What are you doing here?”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed slowly down at Warden, one of her brows rising slowly. “Well, I heard that someone in this household was referring to me as evil. This is quite a heinous defamation and I am here to seek retribution.”
The royal guards flanking on either side of the princess were crowding close, prepared to step in between the princess and the pegasus.
Warden swallowed hard, his ears splaying back slowly. “S-she’s only a foal!” he protested, his stomach tightening into knots. “She doesn’t know what she’s saying!”
A soft laugh left the princess, and she shook her head slowly down at the pegasus. “Warden, Warden... do you really believe I would personally come and confront your family for the idle musings of a foal?”
Warden’s ears pinned back further, and he felt his face flushing with warmth. He shook his head slowly. “I-I guess not...”
“No, I am here because of the allegations of murder levelled against Kuno. Under Verse Five of the Bill of Laws, I am conducting an investigation into the allegation,” Celestia said coolly. “I trust I am allowed inside?”
Warden swallowing audibly, staring up at the princess for several long moment, his heart in his throat. He didn’t remember much about the Bill of Laws, but he recalled that Verse Five was something to do with the princess’s right to intercede on matters of law and decide the outcome in extreme cases. It was mainly used for special cases, like putting a villain behind bars without having to go through a drawn-out trial.
That Celestia was invoking Verse Five on this matter worried Warden deeply.
Warden took a step backwards, his head lowering slightly, peering up at the princess for a long moment, before he nodded. “C-come in.”
Celestia didn’t respond, but stepped inside, her large frame barely fitting through the doorway, her left wing brushing against the door in passing. She nodded once over her shoulder, and the guard withdrew to stand around the perimetre.
Warden almost bounded down the length of the hallway and to the kitchen, to find that Kuno was already in the guise of a pegasus, watching the front door with apprehension, standing carefully behind the kitchen table.
Celestia paused in the entryway, before she stepped forwards and levitated the chairs to the side so that she could sit down at the table, sitting on the floor in front of it. “May I have a cup of tea?” she asked politely.
Kuno twitched slightly, before she nodded jerkily and started to scurry off towards the sink to begin preparing a cup of tea.
Celestia lifted a hoof, and Kuno stopped in her tracks. “No, Warden may make it. I need to converse with you.”
“But Warden has-” Kuno started.
Warden shook his head,making a motion with his hoof to quieten his wife, stepping over to the sink and starting to fill the kettle. “It’s fine, hun.”
Kuno paused, halfway between the table and the sink, her ears splayed back fully, seemingly not sure where to go. She made a motion towards the table, and then stopped immediately, just standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
“Sit,” Celestia said, frowning slightly, pulling out a chair for Kuno with her magic.
Kuno uncertainly made her way towards the table, climbing up onto the chair and sitting down carefully, her wings curling tight around herself as she made herself as small as possible.
“I had a quite distraught mare come barging into my chambers, interrupting a very important and very dreary meeting about immigrating policy, claiming that you are a murderer and that you attempted to harm her. Have you anything to say for yourself?” Celestia asked calmly, eyeing Kuno.
Kuno frowned deeply. “I am a murderer... but I never sought to harm Sparkling Acumen.”
Warden stiffened, listening intently.
“Honesty,” Celestia said, inclining her head slightly. “I respect that.”
“I get the feeling that lying to you wouldn’t do any good,” Kuno admitted, staring down at her hooves.
“Indeed it wouldn’t, Kuno. So you freely admit to the murder of Daggertail?” Celestia asked bluntly.
Kuno nodded once, her eyes narrowing as she gave the princess a challenging stare. “I took his dagger from him and I gave him a new breathing hole with it.”
“Gruesome,” Celestia said emotionlessly, as Warden sat a cup of tea down in front of her, before circling around and laying a wing around his wife protectively.
“She did it to protect me,” Warden said, biting his bottom lip. “So the blame should fall on me.”
“I am fully aware of who the blame should fall upon,” Celestia said coldly, her eyes narrowing at Kuno. “So... why did you kill him?”
“Because he hurt Warden,” Kuno said quietly, licking her lips in slight nervousness.
“And the fact that he was a crime lord did not weight on your decision?” Celestia asked softly.
Kuno frowned at that, looking down at her hooves, before her gaze hardened. “That just made it easier to murder the bastard.”
“Very well,” Celestia said calmly, sniffing at her tea, before taking a gentle sip. “You do not intend to hide the fact that you killed Daggertail? You have no guilt over your actions?”
“Some ponies don’t deserve to live,” Kuno said quietly, setting her jaw.
“So you would... have them killed at birth?” Celestia asked simply.
“I would have them put to death when their tendencies towards evil become apparent,” Kuno said bluntly, glowering.
“A very good answer,” Celestia said, giving the faintest of thoughtful hums. “This is a very good cup of tea, Warden.”
“It’s a home recipe,” Warden said, wrapping his wing tighter around his wife.
“Why are we dancing around this subject?” Kuno asked flatly. “If you’re going to punish me for protecting my husband, and removing that thing from this world, then go ahead. Get it over with.”
Celestia peered at Kuno for a long, long time, pink eyes narrowed.
Kuno stood up to the gaze, before she shrunk back slightly, her nervousness getting the best of her. Warden tightened his wing around her reassuringly.
“Warden was not your husband when you murdered Daggertail,” Celestia said carefully.
Kuno’s ears splayed back, and she ground her teeth together in annoyance.
“And I am told that you left for parts unknown while he traveled, alone, to the north, near where the Crystal Empire reappeared. This is correct, yes?” Celestia asked coolly.
Kuno nodded silently.
“So tell me... why did you murder Daggertail? Did you murder him because he was an evil pony? Was it because he was threatening the one you love? Or was he merely an obstruction to your goal?” Celestia asked, scanning the changeling’s eyes.
Kuno frowned deeply at that, before fixing the princess with a challenging stare. “Does it even matter?”
“It does,” Celestia said simply.
“I killed him because he was a horrible, horrible pony and because he hurt the one I loved,” Kuno stated, waving a hoof. “And I’d do it again in an instant.”
Celestia nodded gently at that, frowning and taking another sip of her tea. “I respect your honesty, even in my admittedly unnerving presence.”
“Me? Unnerved?” Kuno asked with a weak laugh, pressing closer to Warden.
Celestia nodded again. “Indeed. I do not believe that you are lying. I know what Daggertail did. I know who he was. And believe me, Kuno, I thank you for what you did.”
Kuno stared for several long, long moments, blinking slowly. “Y-you agree with what I did?”
“Wholeheartedly,” Celestia admitted, frowning and taking another sip of her tea. “He was a very, very evil pony. But he was also very good at hiding what he did from the community. Many ponies still believe him to be a good, upstanding member of the community till the day he died.”
Kuno scowled faintly at that. “I noticed.”
“I am having Sparkling Acumen escorted here so that we may clear up this misunderstanding. I take it you didn’t attack her?” Celestia asked, staring at Kuno with narrowed eyes.
Kuno shook her head slowly. “I snapped my jaws at her when she started claiming that Daggertail was a good pony.”
“An understandable response,” Celestia said with a slow smile. “So tell me... how did you and Warden come to be?”
Kuno shifted uncomfortable. “Why do you wanna know?”
Celestia’s brow raised slowly. “I am curious. You are two completely different species. Usually mortal enemies. I find it very curious that you two have fallen in love.”
“Well... Warden is just amazing,” Kuno said uncertainly, licking her lips nervously.
“Kuno is better than any pony I’ve ever met,” Warden said, breaking his silence.
Celestia nodded with a slow smile. “I understand. Matters of the heart are not easily translated into words.”
“He walked to Canterlot with a broken leg for me...” Kuno said quietly. “That doesn’t need to be put into words.”
“She accepted me for who I was... flaws and all,” Warden said, squeezing his wife with his wing. “She helped me come to terms with losing my wife... and that’s more than words can express.”
“I understand,” Celestia said gently. “And your foal, Swarm? Was it?”
Kuno nodded.
“Swarm... she is a hybrid?” Celestia asked.
Kuno nodded again. “She has a horn and wings. And can change her mane colour and style on a whim.”
“So she has latent changeling magic?” Celestia queried.
Kuno nodded silently again.
“Swarm?” Celestia asked quietly. “I know you’re listening. Can you come out here?”
A surprised squeak came from from Swarm’s doorway, and there was a thud, and then the rustle of movement, before a very chagrined-looking filly crept out of the room. She moved to leap up onto the chair, and then moved under her mother’s wing, huddling there and peering out at the princess.
“I am Princess Celestia... but I assume you already know that,” she said with a warm smile.
Swarm nodded once. “I know who you are.”
“And why do you say that I’m evil?” Celestia queried.
Swarm frowned, staring up the princess. “Because you let evil ponies do evil things!”
Celestia blinked at that, tilting her head slightly to the left. “Whatever do you mean?”
“You knew Daggertail was evil and you didn’t stop him,” Swarm said flatly, glowering.
“I’m afraid the world doesn’t work like that,” Celestia said with a faint sigh.
“When evil ponies do evil things, good ponies stop them,” Swarm said resolutely, setting her jaw.
“But if I were judge, jury, and executioner, then I would be a tyrant,” Celestia pointed out gently. “With great power comes great responsibility, and I am not infallible.”
Swarm frowned at that, rubbing a hoof against her cheek.
“She means that just because she thinks someone is evil that’s not enough reason to put them in jail,” Kuno explained, nudging her daughter’s cheek gently.
Swarm frowned further. “But you let evil ponies keep doing evil things!”
“Only if I have no other choice,” Celestia said, starting to look uncomfortable.
“You always have a choice!” Swarm challenged.
“I... do not think I can explain it to you any better. You are too young to understand,” Celestia said with a heavy sigh.
Swarm frowned deeply at that, setting her jaw. “Everyone says I’m too young! Evil is evil! Explain it to me! I’ll understand it, I promise!”
Celestia gave a thoughtful hum, and then nodded once. “Very well. If I were to jail Daggertail for being evil with no evidence, I would be putting myself above the common pony and above the law. And surely, I am a princess, but I am not infallible. Were I to jail somepony like Daggertail, then who is to say that I should not have jailed anypony else that I suspect to be duplicitous in his activities? Am I to be the judge of every criminal in Equestria? By acting without due course, I am opening myself up to being asked to do this in future. I would be the all-powerful ruler and enforcer of the law. My law. I helped write the laws, and they are written as such to be fair to any pony. No matter what any of us think, we are all treated equally. If I treated Daggertail differently, then I am no better than a tyrant, for I am disregarding the laws that I myself set down. With great power comes great responsibility, little one. And I have the greatest of powers, and therefore, I must be as careful as possible to flex my power as little as possible, lest I underestimate my own strength and cause more harm than good.”
Swarm frowned deeply at the monologue, her ears splaying back, before she pushed away from her mother and dropped down to the floor, stalking towards her room.
“Where’re you going?” Warden asked, blinking once.
“I’m going to bed,” Swarm said with a huff.
“Why?” Kuno asked.
Swarm looked back at them, snorting and tossing her mane before she continued to her room. “Because I’m too young to understand.”
An awkward silence settled across the pegasus, alicorn, and changeling arranged around the table while they waited for Sparkling Acumen to arrive.
“So... why haven’t you asked about the hive?” Kuno asked.
Celestia looked up from her cup of tea. “I assumed that the hive dissolved after the capture of your queen.”
Kuno nodded quietly. “It seems that you’re well-informed.”
“It’s part of my job,” Celestia said with a warm smile. “And you have not asked about your queen.”
“I’m kinda the one who put her in there,” Kuno said helplessly, rubbing a hoof against her foreleg in embarrassment.
“She is doing fine, though she laments not getting any love,” Celestia said with a faint smile.
Kuno frowned at that, and then nodded once. “Thank you for letting me know.”
There was a knock on the door, and Celestia tilted back to peer down the hallway. “Come in.”
The door opened, and a nervous-looking Sparkling Acumen came inside.
Celestia beckoned, and the unicorn carefully made her way down the hallway, pausing in the doorway and staring across the table at Kuno.
“Come, sit,” Celestia said calmly, patting the chair besides her. “She won’t bite. I have requested that she not.”
Kuno opened her mouth to say that she had agreed to no such thing, but Warden silenced her by squeezing her wing gently.
Sparkling Acumen sat down, looking back and forth between the princess and the two ponies uncertainly.
“Miss Acumen, I have brought you back here to clear something up,” Celestia said gently.
Sparkling Acumen looked from Celestia to Kuno and then back again, before nodding once. “Very well.”
“Kuno did indeed kill Daggertail, but Daggertail was a very, very bad pony,” Celestia explained.
“Daggertail was an upstanding member of the community,” Sparkling acumen protested, shaking her head in disbelief.
“He was a drug-dealer, a thief, and at times, a murderer,” Celestia stated bluntly. “And had I found any evidence, I would have taken him apart myself.”
Sparkling Acumen stiffened at that, shaking her head firmly. “I don’t believe you.”
“Did you have a relationship with him?” Kuno asked suddenly. Both Celestia and Sparkling Acumen stared at her.
“I... well, I er...” Sparkling Acumen said, looking away and biting her bottom lip.
“Even Swarm could tell you’re lying,” Kuno said with a slow shake of her head.
“I heard that and I’m offended!” Swarm called from her room.
“Stop eavesdropping!” Kuno called back.
“I... Well... We were... We did at one time be... err... intimate,” Sparkling Acumen admitted.
“Was this before or after he was married?” Kuno asked with a sly grin.
Sparkling Acumen gave a gasp of disgust. “How dare you insinuate-”
“-It’s a simple question,” Celestia said quietly.
“...After.” Sparkling Acumen seemed to shrink in size at what she admitted, frowning to herself. “He was... so nice and gentlecoltly. There’s no way he was a… a... criminal.”
“His cronies broke my husband’s wing,” Kuno pointed out.
“And my hoof,” Warden added with a scowl.
“And they forced him to grow aurora for them,” Celestia added.
“B-but...” Sparkling Acumen started weakly.
“Do you think we have any reason to lie?” Celestia asked bluntly.
“No... I just... he was a criminal?” Sparking Acumen asked quietly.
“The worst kind,” Celestia said with a wrinkled nose.
Sparkling Acumen gave a deep frown at that, her ears lowering.
“And furthermore, Kuno did not attack you, as you claim. She was merely... expression her displeasure with your words,” Celestia said tactfully.
“She snapped at me,” Sparkling Acumen said with a shudder.
“Be that as it may, it was not an attack,” Celestia stated with a wave of a hoof.
“I don’t like you,” Sparkling Acumen stated, staring at Kuno. “But... I like Swarm. I won’t let my personal feelings for you get in the way of my job.”
“See that you don’t,” Kuno said coldly, her eyes narrowing.
Sparkling Acumen rose to her hooves. “I take it I can leave?”
“Go ahead,” Celestia said, inclining her head.
The three of them watched the teacher leave, the unicorn’s steps hurried and annoyed.
“Well, it would appear that my business here is over,” Celestia pointed out, rising to her hooves as well. “Thank you for the tea, Warden.”
“It was my pleasure, Princess,” Warden said, bowing slightly.
“Please, Kuno, keep your crimes to yourself. Not everypony is as understanding, or as forgiving, as I am,” Celestia added, shaking her head gently.
“I’ll try,” Kuno promised, rubbing a hoof through her mane in embarrassment.
Celestia turned, making for the doorway, but Warden rose, cutting her off.
Warden looked back at Kuno, and then asked, “U-uh... Princess? Could I ask a favour of you?”
The knock at the door that evening made Warden grumble as he rose to his hooves. He slipped out of bed, leaving Kuno reading a magazine on home design, and headed for the front door. It was already after dark, and he had no idea who it could be calling at that late hour.
Greenhoof nervously swapped from one hoof to the other, and then gave a sigh of relief as Warden opened the door. “Oh thank Celestia. I got so lost trying to find this place!”
Warden gave a relieved laugh. “Oh, it’s you. I coulda given clearer directions, I guess. It’s kind of too late for me to give you a tour, anyway.”
“Oh, it’s fine,” Greenhoof said, squinting up at the doorway. “Just point me in the direction of the main road and I’ll be on my way.”
Warden nodded, ducking back inside to grab a lantern. “Kuno! Greenhoof is here, I’m just showing her the way back to the road and then I’ll be back!”
An unintelligible sound of assent greeted him, and he turned back to the doorway, slipping outside and offering the lantern to Green Hoof.
Green Hoof took the lantern, peering down at his hoof. “Still as bad as ever?”
“Worse, if anything,” Warden admitted with a wry smile, making a motion towards the road.
Green Hoof gave a wan smile at that. “Well, at least you’re managing,” she said, as they both started down the path towards the road.
“So when do you wanna start work?” Warden queried.
“Is the day after tomorrow alright? I kinda wanted to get the lay of the land before starting work, so I know how far I have to walk and the like,” Green Hoof admitted.
Warden nodded firmly. “That works for me. You just take this path here from the main road. I’ll have to see about tying a red ribbon around a tree on the road itself so you know where to turn off.”
“That’d be a big help,” Green Hoof admitted with a soft sigh. “I went to three different estates trying to find this place.”
Warden smiled faintly at that, pausing as they came to the road. “Just follow it south to Ponyville,” he said, pointing with a hoof.
“Thank you, Warden. I’ll see you two days from now,” Green Hoof said, holding out the lantern for him to take back with him.
Warden shook his head, taking a step back. “You take it. I know these paths well enough not to trip over anything.”
Green Hoof stood nervously for a moment, before she nodded once. “I’ll return it tomorrow. Well, see you then.”
Warden smiled and nodded, turning back around, starting up the path towards home again.
“Warden... Wait,” Green Hoof said uncertainly.
Warden paused at that, peering back over his shoulder.
“I don’t... I don’t want anything from you, Warden. I don’t want to pressure you. I don’t want to... well... you know, force anything, or ruin you and Kuno, or anything...” Green Hoof said nervously, dancing from hoof-to-hoof.
Warden blinked once. “Whatever do you mean?”
Green Hoof frowned deeply, rubbing her cheek with a hoof and then giving a faint sigh. “Mint Green... He’s your son.”
A dull, ringing cadence was creating a cacophony in his ears, drowning out any noise that tried to register on his senses. He felt like someone had punched him in the face.
“Warden?” Green Hoof asked gently, waving a hoof in front of his face, biting her bottom lip. “Warden? You’re starting to scare me.”
“H-he’s mine?” Warden asked hoarsely.
“I would assume so,” Green Hoof said, frowning slightly as she sat down in front of him, watching him carefully. “Unless...”
“Unless?” Warden asked in a daze.
“We only did things together twice, right?” Green Hoof asked delicately.
Warden spluttered faintly, “T-twice?!”
Green Hoof’s eyes widened, and she covered her mouth with a hoof. “It was Kuno?”
“M-my w-wife got you pregnant?!” Warden asked, aghast.
Green Hoof gave a slight laugh at that, nudging him with a hoof. “Lighten up, Warden. I was joking. It was from the night we spent together. I wasn’t with anyone else.”
Warden frowned deeply, rubbing a hoof against his temple. “This is hardly the time for joking...”
Green Hoof deflated at that, kicking at the ground with a forehoof. “I need this to be okay, Warden.”
“W-why did you wait so long to tell me?” Warden asked suddenly. “W-why now? I have a daughter! I have a wife!”
“I know,” Green Hoof said with a deep frown. “But... you deserve to know.”
“I... I do...” Warden said, staring down at his forehooves, blinking slowly. With a shaky hoof, he placed the lantern aside, taking a deep, steadying inhale. “I just... it’s... he... but...”
Green Hoof frowned deeply, rising to her hooves and then stroking soothingly at his shoulder. “I just... wanted you to know. I didn’t tell you for so long because... well...”
Warden looked up at that, his ears splaying back. “Because why?”
“Because...” Green Hoof trailed off, giving a faint sigh and shaking her head. “Because I liked you, Warden, you dense fool!”
“You... liked me?” Warden asked, blinking once in surprise.
Green Hoof looked away, biting her bottom lip. “I did sleep with you,” she said candidly.
“There is that, but what you said, you made it seem...”
Green Hoof gave a slow nod. “I was sweet on you, Warden... I was... kind of hoping that you’d... you know, stick around...”
Warden stared at her, bewildered, his ears splaying back. “But... I...”
“I knew I was pregnant, Warden... I wasn’t really showing signs, but I knew it... but then Kuno came back for you. I... I thought that she’d just used you and moved on,” Green Hoof said with a sad smile.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” Warden asked, staring at her and shaking his head slowly.
“As I said... I didn’t want to come between you two. I saw the way you looked at her... I wished that you’d look at me that way...” Green Hoof gave a faint sigh, and then shook her head slowly. “But the past is the past. I didn’t tell you because you would have felt pressured to give up Kuno for me and Mint Green. That was unfair to you.”
“But... I...” Warden trailed off, his wings drooping. “I’m so confused... I never even considered that... that you felt that way about me...”
A slow, sad smile spread across Green Hoof’s face, and she gave the softest of sighs. “I figured. You never even looked at me that way.”
“I’m... sorry?” Warden offered awkwardly, his ears splayed back against his skull. “I don’t know what to say...”
Green Hoof gave a wan smile. “Maybe if our lives had been different, we would have stood a Windigo’s chance in Tartarus.”
Warden frowned faintly, staring down at his hooves, “Maybe...”
Green Hoof just just gave him a sad, wistful smile. “But I’m happy now, with Stunning Facet.”
“Yeah, him,” Warden said distractedly, pawing at one of his ears with a hoof. “This is so... awkward... and I have a son...”
Green Hoof nodded once. “You do, Warden. But don’t let it go to your head... He’s more Stunning Facet’s son, than your own. And he doesn’t know. Don’t do anything to make Mint Green’s life miserable. We’re happy. We don’t need charity, and as far as he knows, he already has a father.”
Warden nodded jerkily. “I... I guess so.”
“Warden...?” Green Hoof asked, tilting her head slightly to the left. “Are you... okay?”
Warden shook his head. “No... I’m really not...”
Warden stumbled in the front door listlessly, and then sat down heavily on his rump, staring at the wall and the painting of a mountainside that Kuno had put up there.
It was several long minutes before Kuno came wandering in from the kitchen, frowning to herself.
“Warden?” She asked, peeking around the corner and raising a brow. “I thought I heard you coming home. What’s wrong? Is Green Hoof okay?”
“She’s fine,” Warden said mechanically, still staring at the wall underneath the painting. “Everything’s fine.”
“Warden?” Kuno asked hesitantly, slinking around the corner and then moving closer to him, touching his shoulder with a hoof.
Warden recoiled, holding his shoulder with his hoof as though he had been hurt. “E-everything’s fine...” he almost whimpered, his ears splaying back as he bit his bottom lip. “...N-nothing’s fine!”
“Warden, what’s the matter?” Kuno asked gently, frowning deeply.
“I... Just... I... Don’t...” Warden frowned, grinding a hoof against his temple, giving a faint whimper. “Green Hoof has a son.”
“Aye?” Kuno said, confused.
“Mint Green... I’ve... never even seen him before...” Warden said hollowly.
Kuno slowly raised a brow. “Yes, ponies have foals. This is natural.”
Warden lowered his head slightly, before saying hoarsely, “He’s... mine.”
“Yours?” Kuno asked, ears pricking upwards. “What do you mean?”
“He’s my son,” Warden said hollowly, staring down at his forehooves.
“I... see...” Kuno said simply, working her jaw slowly and then licking her lips, frowning. “I... I uh... need to take a bath...”
“Yeah,” Warden said blankly, nodding jerkily.
Kuno frowned deeply, turning on her hooves and then bounding away, slamming the bathroom door behind herself.
Warden was laying on his side of the bed, staring at the non-functioning alarm clock that Kuno had broken in her first week in the home.
Kuno was standing in the doorway, watching him. She had been there for a full minute, but Warden hadn’t even noticed.
Quietly, the changeling stepped over to the bed, pulling herself up onto it and gently stretching out the length of Warden’s back. She lightly touched at one of his wings, to urge him to roll over.
Warden quivered slightly in place, before carefully rolling over to face his wife, his ears splaying backwards as he buried his nose against her chest. “I... I don’t know what to do...”
Kuno frowned deeply, taking a deep, deep inhale, and then gently nuzzling into his mane. “It’s... it’s fine. It’s natural. It’s just... a normal thing that happens...” she said, completely unconvincingly.
Warden tilted back to stare up at her, grimacing. “Are you upset?”
Kuno bit her bottom lip, and then shook her head. “No... why would I be upset? That would be crazy. It’s just simple anatomy. I mean, I knew that you slept with her. It would be stupid and... and selfish for me to feel jealous or upset over this...” Kuno bit her bottom lip harder, squeezing Warden almost painfully tight with her hooves, almost as though she was talking to herself.
Warden frowned faintly, staring up at her, before sighing faintly and leaning in to rub his nose against her chest slowly. Her chitin was clean, shiny and smooth, and smelled faintly of soap. “You’re upset with me. It’s understandable.”
“No it’s not!” Kuno responded heatedly, lifting a hoof to bite at it in frustration. “It’s normal. I knew this could have happened. I prepared.”
“I had... it’s just so left-field...” Warden whined, his ears splaying back. “I... I don’t know how to react.”
“There’s a thing out there with your blood in it,” Kuno pointed out.
“I know, and it’s just... he doesn’t even know I’m his father... how is that tolerable?” Warden asked blankly.
“Exactly,” Kuno said bluntly. “It’s just a pony out there, with your blood in it. That’s it. It’s not like you owe him anything.”
Warden stared at his wife for several long, long moments. “You... can’t possibly be serious.”
“Why not?” Kuno challenged, eyes narrowing down at him. “Does he have a father?”
Warden frowned deeply, and then nodded. “Yes, me.”
“No,” Kuno said, placing her hoof over his mouth to silence him. “Does he have a father now?”
“I... I guess Stunning Facet is his ‘father’ inasmuch as he looks after him...” Warden admitted, chewing his bottom lip.
“Then you owe him nothing. It was not your choice to keep him. You didn’t walk out on him, he’s just... there now. And he has his own life to live, as do you.” Kuno said fiercely, glowering down at her husband.
“But... he...”
Kuno sighed, and then slapped Warden. Hard.
Warden recoiled slightly, wincing heavily, lifting a hoof to touch at his face, grimacing. “What was that for?!”
“Because you’re being stupid,” Kuno said, eyes narrowing down at him fiercely. “What do you honestly think you could do for this foal you’ve never even met?”
“I could... I could...” Warden trailed off, looking away, sighing. “I could... make it right somehow...”
“It’s already alright,” Kuno protested, shaking her head with an exasperated sigh.
“But... I...” Warden trailed off, sighing and biting his bottom lip again, hard enough to draw blood. “I feel like I need to make it right, somehow...”
“There’s nothing to make right,” Kuno insisted, setting her jaw. “You’re giving Green Hoof a job, helping her support her foal. That’s enough. So you can either forget about this stupid sense of duty you have to a foal you’ve never even seen, or you can make Green Hoof and her foal your life. Half-assing it will not be acceptable.”
Warden recoiled at that, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean... that...”
Kuno growled faintly in the back of her throat. “Then what do you intend to do? Never see the foal, but still be the perfect father? He’s better off with a father. Not fathers. No plural.”
Warden gave a heavy sigh. “It still feels... wrong...”
“I’m going to hit you again,” Kuno declared, setting her jaw.
Warden stared at his wife for a long moment, pursing his lips. “Why are you being so... physical?”
“I want to hurt you and I don’t know why!” Kuno admitted, deflating instantly, her ears splaying back and bottom lip quivering. “I-it doesn’t make sense. I want to hurt you...”
“That’s understandable,” Warden said with a helpless smile.
“No, it’s not!” Kuno snapped, her wings buzzing faintly in agitation.
“When you told me about all those stallions you were with, I was jealous, and a little angry... but I managed to swallow it down,” Warden pointed out, nudging her chin gently with his nose.
“I... kinda have an admission to make about that,” Kuno said with a nervous laugh.
Warden perked an ear.
“I kinda... never did any of that,” Kuno said, rubbing the front of a foreleg with her other hoof. “I just said I did because... I kinda felt weak...”
“You lied to me?” Warden asked blankly.
“I... did. I didn’t even realise I was doing it until afterwards, and then... it didn’t seem pertinent to bring it up. There was one stallion that got close... but I zapped him because I... I got uncomfortable.” Kuno frowned nervously, her wings buzzing again. “And I didn’t admit it because I felt... I didn’t want you to know that I was weak.”
“You realise, of course, that it would have made more sense to tell your jealous coltfriend that you hadn’t slept around, right?” Warden asked with a slow shake of his head.
Kuno huffed, slapping his shoulder with a hoof. “We don’t think alike!”
“Yes we do,” Warden challenged, leaning in until his nose bumped against her own.
“No, we don’t,” Kuno insisted, her brows furrowing.
“Yes, we do,” Warden reiterated, smiling faintly. “You’re getting jealous that Green Hoof had my foal... that’s not something a changeling would normally feel, right?”
Kuno’s ears splayed back, and she looked away. But her silence was affirmation enough.
“I bet it felt really, really good when you hit me,” Warden added with a wry smile.
Kuno nodded slowly, biting her tongue. “Oh god it felt good... but that’s horrible of me to feel that way...”
“That’s a normal pony thought process,” Warden pointed out with a grin.
“I’m not a normal! And I’m definitely not a pony!” Kuno growled, swatting his chest with a hoof.
“Then why do you want to hurt me?” Warden asked bluntly.
“I... I don’t know why!” Kuno protested, her ears flattening and tears brimming in her eyes. “I’m just so confused and I want to hurt you but I don’t to and and-”
Warden placed a hoof over her mouth, and then shook his head, shushing her gently. “It’s normal, Kuno. You got to smack me around to stop me from worrying about Mint Green, so I get to return the favour. With less hoof, though.”
Kuno scowled faintly at that. “Why am I... thinking like a pony?”
“Because you live with one?” Warden offered with a sly smile.
“It’s still... weird. And irrational,” Kuno pointed out.
“It’s what love does to you,” Warden said, gently kissing her chin.
“Love sucks,” Kuno said with a faint huff.
“And yet you’d be miserable without it,” Warden retorted with a smile.
“I guess so,” Kuno said, squeezing her husband tightly with her forehooves, gently kissing his nose. “But if you wake up with my standing over you with a large knife, you know why.”
“Not a very appealing image,” Warden admitted, pursing his lips, and then staring at his wife. “So you really didn’t... do anything for that entire year?”
“No,” Kuno said, shaking her head slowly. “It just felt... awkward. And... wrong.”
“Awkward and wrong?” Warden asked blankly, giving Kuno his best poker face. “But it’s ‘just two pieces of anatomy rubbing against eachother to create pleasurable friction’.”
“Thank you for repeating my explanation word-for-word,” Kuno said dryly. “It felt... wrong. Just... like... have you ever eaten anything that wasn’t quite ripe or was past the date when you should eat it?”
“No, I’ve never done that in my entire life,” Warden said sarcastically.
“Well... It felt like that. The difference between a good meal, and a... well, a crappy one. I let one stallion get close, because I figured it wouldn’t feel so... wrong, once I, you know, got into it...” Kuno trailed off, pursing her lips and then sighing. “But I wussed out and zapped him to sleep.”
“I see,” Warden said, nibbling gently at the side of her neck. “Any idea why?”
“Because it wasn’t you,” Kuno said immediately.
“I know that getting a piece of the Warden Pie is a pretty awesome experience,” Warden said with a kind of fake smugness. “But to turn you off other stallions entirely?”
“It’s like having a really, really, really good meal and then being asked to eat cat food,” Kuno pointed out with a sigh. “You ruined me.”
Warden smiled, leaning in to kiss her nose gently. “So that’s why you came back, huh? Couldn’t get a stallion as good as me, huh?”
Kuno nodded once. “Exactly.”
Warden blinked, his ears splaying back. “I... don’t think you understand how this works. I say something to do with my inflated sense of self-importance and you shoot me down.”
“Well what you said is exactly true,” Kuno said, pulling him into a gentle kiss. “You’re the only stallion that makes me... makes me feel irrational.”
“Well I’m glad I drive you nuts,” Warden said with a smirk.
Kuno pursed her lips, and then licked his nose gently. “So... on the subject of parents. How did your parents die?”
Warden blinked once. “Die?”
“Well, you never mentioned them,” Kuno said, frowning.
“I... uh... don’t like to talk about them. They’re not dead though,” Warden said with a dry, nervous laugh.
“Why? You got married, you have a foal... err, two foals, and I haven’t even met them yet!” Kuno said, frowning deeply. “Why?”
Warden gave a long sigh and looked away. “Well... My father and I don’t get along...”
“So you’re not exactly on speaking terms with your parents?” Kuno asked.
“My mother is fine with me, but I don’t talk with either of them because my father is... well...”
“Is?” Kuno asked.
“My father is a fucking jerk,” Warden said forcefully, setting his jaw.
“Language!” Kuno said, clasping a hoof over his mouth. “You’ll give our daughter bad language!”
Warden stared at Kuno for a long, long moment. “Do you really think any foal over the age of two hasn’t heard bad language before?”
Kuno deflated, frowning. “I guess not.”
“Well, as I was saying, he’s a fu-”
Kuno growled.
“-Bucking jerk.” Warden corrected. “He was part of the Wonderbolts. Pretty sure he’s retired now. He was only in the background, as part of the secondary fliers, but he acted like he ran the entire Wonderbolt Squad by himself. He... well, he didn’t approve of my choice of occupation, and he uhm... said some pretty nasty things to Swarm.”
Kuno frowned at that. “And after Swarm died?”
“After Swarm died, the last thing I wanted to do was reconcile with a complete asshole,” Warden admitted, giving a faint sigh.
“And what about your mother?” Kuno queried.
“My mother is... was, maybe still is the personal tailor for the Wonderbolts. She makes all of their flight suits and the trainee suits, and their fancy uniforms for events and whatnot,” Warden explained. “So both of my parents are really, you know, sporty. Neither of them were really impressed with the fact that I’m such a ‘landlubber’, and my mother sort of... accepted it. But my father didn’t. He was... really disappointed in me.” Warden trailed off with a long sigh, rubbing a hoof through his mane.
Kuno frowned a little bit at that, nudging his chin with her nose. “I would like to meet them. and introduce them to their granddaughter.”
“Why would you want to do that?” Warden asked bluntly.
“Because it’s the right thing to do, I can antagonize them if they’re assholes, and you’re cute when you’re in awkward situations,” Kuno said with a slow smile. “Pick one.”
“I’ll take the ‘cute’ thing,” Warden said with a wave of his hoof.
Kuno grinned, and then pushed him over onto his back, moving to straddle him, resting her forehooves on his chest. A glow of green lit her horn, and the bedroom door closed, plunging them into complete darkness.
Warden felt Kuno’s exhale against his ear.
“Now, I want a piece of my ‘Warden Pie’,” she breathed with a low, surprisingly fierce growl. “And I’m a jealous changeling, so you’re going to tell me exactly how much better than Green Hoof I am and if you lie to me... I’ll know.”
Kuno’s eyes flashed in the darkness, and Warden swallow heavily, before smiling and finding her mouth with his own. “Yes Ma’am!”
Swarm glumly lifted another mouthful of cereal into her mouth, pursing her lips and rubbing at her ear with a free hoof.
“What’s the matter with you?” Kuno asked, perking an ear at her daughter.
Swarm mumbled something incoherently around her mouthful.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Warden said, pursing his lips and flicking her ear with a hoof as he passed on the way towards the kettle, which was whistling happily on the stove.
Swarm gave an indignant huff, staring at her mother. “Daddy hit me!”
“I saw,” Kuno said airily, waving a hoof. “You shouldn’t have been talking with your mouth full. Now, why are you being so gloomy?”
“I don’t want to go to school,” Swarm admitted, frowning down at her cereal. “They make me do things I don’t want to do.”
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to get used to it,” Kuno said with a thin smile.
“I bet you didn’t even go to school,” Swarm said flatly.
Kuno blinked once, her brow furrowing. “How do you figure?”
“Because you’re a changeling,” Swarm said coolly.
“That I am,” Kuno said fearlessly. “But how do you know I didn’t go to school?”
“Because changelings are different,” Swarm said, picking at her bowl with the spoon. “Mommy... why don’t I have a queen?”
Kuno stiffened slightly at that, her eyes narrowing slowly. Warden paused as well, peering back over his shoulder with interest.
“You are not part of a hive. You are... more pony than changeling,” Kuno explained, pursing her lips.
“I can hear them sometimes,” Swarm said, with an almost eerie note in her voice. “It’s like... whispering. But it’s always really hard to understand.”
Kuno pursed her lips, and then nodded gently. “Yes, that is the hive. You’ll learn to block it out.”
“What if I don’t want to block it out?” Swarm asked challengingly, staring up at her mother.
“Swarm, I am your mother, and I am the closest thing you will ever have to a ‘queen’. I know what is best for you, and you will obey me, understood?” Kuno asked, her eyes narrowing slowly.
Swarm huffed faintly, her ears splaying back. “Fine.”
“Look, Swarm... The hive is not something you want to be part of. It... controls you. It makes you do things you don’t want to do. It imposes the will of the queen on your consciousness, and I know you’re too young to understand... but it’s not... well, it’s not something you want,” Kuno tried to explain, frowning deeply.
Swarm nodded once. “I understand.”
Kuno pursed her lips. “You really don’t. Imagine being asleep. Or sleepwalking. You don’t really... know anything, about what you’re doing or what’s going on. But you’re still doing things.”
Swarm wrinkled her nose. “That sounds like school.”
“It’s a lot worse than school,” Kuno said with a single curt nod.
Swarm shrugged her shoulders, little wings giving a flutter. “Can I get my horn removed?”
Kuno recoiled slightly at that. “Why would you even want such a thing?”
“Because I’m different,” Swarm said, chewing on her tongue slightly. “Everyone looks at me differently at school. They sort of... stare. I don’t like it.”
Kuno pursed her lips again. “Well you’re just going to have to learn to deal with it.”
“Do I have to go to school?” Swarm asked, giving a faint whine. “I don’t want them to stare.”
Kuno gave a long sigh, shaking her head slowly. “Not good enough.”
Swarm’s bottom lip quivered, and her eyes began to well up with tears.
“Stay strong, hun,” Warden said conversationally, pouring a measure of hot water into a cup.
Kuno pursed her lips, biting her tongue, the length of blue flesh clenched between her teeth as she bounced slightly on her hooves. “But... but..”
Swarm gave a faint whine, bottom lip quivering further, her eyes growing large and naive. “B-but mommy, I don’t want to g-go...”
Kuno gave a huff, flailing a forehoof. “Fine! But just for today!”
Swarm broke into a bright smile instantly. “Yay! So what are we doing?!”
“Taking a trip to visit your father’s parents,” Kuno said immediately.
Warden stiffened, his ears splaying back. “We... are?”
Kuno raised a brow. “Do you have anything better to do?”
“Breathing? I was planning on scratching myself, a bit later on,” Warden said with a firm nod. “So uh... I’m a bit busy to go to Cloudsdale.”
Kuno pursed her lips at that, her eyes narrowing at her husband. “We both know I’m going to convince you,” she said bluntly. “So shut up and accept it before I impose ‘no touching’ rules for an arbitrary length of time.”
“You really underestimate the depths of my hate for my father,” Warden said bluntly.
Swarm stared back and forth between them like a spectator at an airshow.
“More than you like touching?” Kuno asked coyly.
Warden bit his tongue, and then looked back and forth between Swarm and Kuno. “Will the puppy-dog-eyes work?”
“No,” Kuno said flatly. “And if you don’t go, I will go. As you. And I reconcile so perfectly they will come to dinner tonight.”
Warden splayed his ears back, giving a long sigh, his wings drooping. “Well... fine.”
“Good boy, now show me that you’re whipped,” Kuno said, holding out her hoof.
Warden sighed heavily, and then leaned down to kiss her hoof gently. “There, happy?”
“Immensely,” Kuno said with a smile.
“Will I at least get something for enduring this torturous day?” Warden asked plaintively.
“I’ll give you a goodnight kiss?” Kuno offered with a grin.
“Deal!” Warden said, leaning in to peck her on the nose.
Kuno in her pegasus form, Warden and Swarm all sat in a train compartment, watching out the window as the floating city of Cloudsdale loomed larger and larger on the horizon.
“How does it all stay up in the air?” Swarm asked, staring. “Does it have wings?”
Kuno giggled at the thought. “No hun, it floats on clouds.”
“Like pegasus can float on clouds?” Swarm asked.
Kuno nodded. “Exactly like that.”
“Will I be able to float on the clouds?” Swarm asked excitedly.
Warden gave a worried frown. “That’s a very good question, actually.”
Kuno gave a soft hum. “Well, I can float on the clouds. And she’s half me and half you, so she should be able to, right?”
“I can’t even fly yet,” Swarm whined, lifting a hoof to tug her wing until it was outstretched. “How can I float on clouds? They’re all fluffy and soft like cotton candy.”
A soft whine left Kuno. “Now I want cotton candy.”
“And I want not to be the only adult in this family,” Warden said dryly.
Kuno’s eyes narrowed and she cuffed him with an outstretched wing. “Liar. You’re just as much of a child as I am.”
Warden rubbed at the back of his head, chagrined. “At least I can hide it.”
Kuno raised her wing threateningly.
Warden huffed, holding up his good hoof to fend her off. “Fine, fine. We’re all children.”
“How are we getting to Cloudsdale?” Swarm asked after a few moments. “It’s so high up and I can’t fly.”
Warden nodded once. “I can’t fly, either,” he pointed out. “We’re taking the sky staircase.”
“What’s that?” Swarm asked.
“It’s a straircase into the sky?” Warden offered with a faint shrug. “I’ve never used it before.”
“Why would they even make a staircase into the sky?” Swarm asked blankly. “It’s stupid.”
“Because not everypony can fly,” Warden said with a shrug. “There’re floating platforms up there that can support an earth pony or a unicorn, but with no way to get up there, they’re pointless.”
Swarm shrugged. “Still. Silly. Everypony that lives in Cloudsdale can fly. They’re all pegasus.”
Kuno raised a brow slowly. “No they’re not. There’s a unicorn healer and an earth pony who likes to grow really high-altitude flowers that I know off the top of my head.”
“But why would they live where pegasus are supposed to live?” Swarm asked blankly. “That’s silly.”
“Well your father lives in a cottage, doesn’t he? Even wondered why he doesn’t live in the clouds?” Kuno asked.
Swarm wrinkled her nose, looking back and forth helplessly. “Because... because... Daddy grows things. And things don’t grow in clouds. They grow in dirt.”
“So why wouldn’t unicorn be able to do something in the clouds, hmm?” Kuno asked simply.
Swarm huffed faintly, rubbing at an ear with a hoof. “I... I guess you’re right. But... wouldn’t it be all scary if you can just step wrong and fall?”
“Very scary,” Kuno said with a single nod. “That’s why not many ponies do it.”
“Pegasus have it easy,” Swarm said with a smug smile. “Because they can fly. And I’m gonna be able to fly too, and sit on a cloud and watch everyone else who can’t fly.”
Kuno gave a faint giggle. “That’s one of the joys of being a winged creature.”
“I’m not a creature, I’m a pony!” Swarm protested with a huff.
“We’re all creatures,” Kuno said with a shrug. “Just some of us can talk.”
Swarm wrinkled her nose. “I’m not interested in... in... uhm.. what’s that word, mommy?”
“Semantics?” Warden offered.
“Those! Semmythings!” Swarm said with a huff. “No semmythings.”
The carriage jolted as the train started to slow down, and the brakes squealed from the strain of slowing the inertia. Another jolt happened as the train came to a halt, causing all three ponies to sway in tandem.
“Can we get drinks?!” Swarm asked, jumping to her hooves. “I want drinks!”
“Yes, we can get drinks,” Kuno said with a shake of her head.
“Uhm, Kuno?” Warden asked, pausing at the doorway.
“Yeeees?” Kuno asked sweetly.
Warden leaned closer, his ears splaying back. “I don’t want to sound mean or anything but... can you forgo the collar? Just this once?”
Kuno’s hooves flew to her neck, and she frowned deeply. “But... but... it’s my collar.”
“My parents might get the wrong idea,” Warden said with a slight wince.
“Well I’ll correct them. It’s a fashion statement about the commercialisation of the personalisation of a pony and how we’re all trapped by the existential nature of capitalism,” Kuno said smugly.
Warden frowned for a long moment and then gave a helpless shrug. “That’s just confusing enough that no one will bother asking you anything about it.”
“That’s the point,” Kuno said with a wink and a grin, kissing his nose lightly. “Now, to the staircase! You have many, many thousands of steps to climb while I fly along side you, teasing all the way.”
“But you gotta walk up ahead of me so I can stare at your butt and have a target to reach,” Warden whined.
“Well tough,” Kuno said with a giggle. “I don’t feel like a workout.”
Warden gave a long-suffering sigh. “Well I want to catch a glider down, at least.”
“You’ll have to take Swarm with you,” Kuno cautioned. “No way am I letting her into one of those contraptions alone.”
“Very well,” Warden said with a wrinkled nose. “But if you scream, Swarm, then no ice cream after dinner.”
“Not even a little screaming?” Swarm asked, starting with the sad eyes.
Warden bit his bottom lip and then gave a long sigh. “It’s terrifying how like your mother you are.”
Swarm giggled and poked out her tongue, prancing away.
The ‘stairway to Cloudsdale’ was really more of a highway than a staircase. A staircase at least ten ponies wide had been erected, made of a kind of glowing magical material that shimmered and shifted in colour from clear, to every colour of the rainbow. Along either side of the staircase were conveyor belts, carrying large mine-cart like containers shipping necessities up to Cloudsdale.
Thankfully, only a strip in the centre of the staircase was stationary. There was a conveyor on either side of the ‘staircase’ built specifically for pony transport. Warden just assumed that the ‘staircase’ portion of the highway was for masochists.
“This isn’t nearly as fun as I had hoped,” Kuno admitted, sitting down on the conveyor belt and watching the clouds approaching.
“You mean you don’t get to watch me sweat?” Warden asked bluntly.
“I like watching you sweat,” Kuno said with a slow smile, leaning in to nibble at the base of his ears and then cooing softly. “I like licking it clean, too.”
Warden gave a faint shiver, his wings rustling. “So... I’ll walk then?” he offered with a faint grin.
“Maybe on the way down,” Kuno suggested, humming thoughtfully. “We could get Swarm her own private compartment...”
“My own whole compartment?” Swarm asked, bouncing slightly in place.
Warden automatically reached a hoof out to grasp his daughter’s shoulder. “No bouncing. You’ll fall off.”
Swarm huffed and pursed her lips. “Never allowed to have any fun.”
“‘Fun’ does not involve bodily harm,” Warden cautioned.
“You’re so cute when you’re serious,” Kuno said with a grin, licking Warden’s ear. “You should be more serious with me.”
“Then you hit me!” Warden complained.
“Oh grow up, foal,” Kuno said, cuffing him with her wing.
After fifteen long minutes of sitting on their butts, the conveyor belt ended and they could all step off onto the clouds of Cloudsdale.
Swarm paused at the very edge of the platform, placing a hoof down against the cloud, testing it. Both Warden and Kuno held one of her wings each.
A faint hum left the little hybrid, and then she bounded forwards, rolling about in the cloud happily. “It’s so soft!”
Warden just shook his head, and Kuno giggled.
Another ten minutes of walking brought them to the Wonderbolt’s personal training ground.
A huge structure made entirely of clouds dominated one end of Cloudsdale. It was oblong in shape, like a bread-roll, with a flat structure sticking out from the front of it that housed the Wonderbolts themselves. Warden knew already that the structure was almost entirely hollow. The entirety of the inside of the cylindrical shape was devoted to a wind tunnel: the personal training room of the Wonderbolts. At one end of the wind tunnel was a giant fan, propelled by magic and spinning too slowly to cause much harm, but powerful enough to cause a wind that had strength enough to send the unprepared tumbling right out of the tunnel and into the cloud-bank behind.
“This is where your mommy and daddy live, daddy?” Swarm asked, amazed.
“Where they work,” Warden said, rubbing a hoof against his ear nervously. “S-sure about the collar, hun?”
Kuno gave a nod. “I’m certain.”
Warden took a deep breath, and then gave a long, shaky exhalation. “Well... sure we can’t just go and drink some alcohol and forget this whole business?”
Kuno gave a low growl, and then pushed him with her hooves. “No. Now you walk in there and face your parents like a good little whipped foal.”
Warden whined faintly, his ears splaying back. “Fine. But you’re paying me back for this.”
Kuno gave a wry grin at that. “If you’re a good boy, I’ll let you wear the collar tonight.”
“That’s more of a punishment,” Warden pointed out, his cheeks flushing faintly.
“Okay then, go in there or I’ll put the collar on you tonight,” Kuno said with a sweet smile.
“Fine.” Warden huffed, stalking towards the door. “But when this goes south, I get to say ‘I told you so’.”
Warden took a long, deep breath, frowning to himself and hesitating, before pushing on the large front doors of the Wonderbolt Headquarters.
Cautiously, Warden stepped into the cooled, air-conditioned waiting room, sidling over to the counter, Kuno and Swarm close behind him.
The waiting room was decorated sparsely, and barely saw any service. It was more of a decorative room than anything, as not many ponies had reason to sit in the waiting room waiting for the Wonderbolts. Several framed items hung on the wall. Goggles, signed uniforms still with stains and tears from heavy use, and even a few letters from fans that had been especially touching to certain members of the Wonderbolts.
Warden rang the bell sitting on the counter, finding it unattended.
“So this is where the Wonderbolts live, huh?” Kuno asked, peering about curiously. Swarm was already balancing on a chair, with her nose pushed against a framed picture of the entire Wonderbolt squad.
“Well, where they sleep and train, sure,” Warden corrected. “They sort of... well... live at home, I guess? I grew up in our cloudhome, and here, occasionally. Depended on the day of the week, really. Not many Wonderbolts actually live in the building full-time.”
“Telling our secrets to everyone, I see?” the receptionist asked, coming out from behind the desk.
“Skyline?” Warden asked, squinting at the pegasus.
The receptionist was a powder blue all over with a golden mane and tail, dressed in a formal Wonderbolt Receptionist outfit.
“That’s me!” Skyline said with a smile, before squinting slightly and leaning forwards. “Is that... Warden?”
Warden nodded at that, smiling. “You remember me!”
“I haven’t seen you in years!” Skyline gushed, bouncing happily in place. “How have you been?!”
“I’ve been... better. And worse. And then better again. But, I’m quite certain it’s nothing you want to hear about,” Warden said with a faint smile, while Kuno came to stand behind him. “This is ahhh... Kuno, my wife.”
“So the rumours were true!” Skyline said with a smile, clapping her hooves together. “Well, some of them, at least!”
“Rumours?” Warden asked, wincing slightly.
“Oh, there were some terrible, terrible rumours making the rounds. That you were involved in the drug trade, got your wing and hoof snapped in half...” Skyline leaned over the counter, wincing apologetically. “I guess the hoof one is true... and between you and me, they said that you married a changeling queen. And that you even got Princess Celestia to preside over the ceremony! With her in her true form!”
Kuno perked up at that, smiling. “Oh, it was Princess Cadance and I’m not a queen. Not yet.”
Warden facehoofed, while Skyline tilted her head slowly to the left.
“Oh!” Skyline gave a giggle. “Your wife has a very nice sense of humour Warden! She’s quite the catch, and oh, she’s wearing a collar... that... different,” the mare said, squinting at the collar. “Does it... have her name on it?”
“A souvenir,” Kuno explained with a smile, batting a hoof against the bell.
Warden cut across them, raising a hoof. “I was actually just looking for my parents. They’re still around here, aren’t they?”
“You know Threadbare,” Skyline said with a roll of her eyes. “She won’t let us accept any other stitchwork and I’d hate to be the pony that tries to get her to retire.”
“And... Gale Force?” Warden asked grimacing.
“Gale Force is out in the wind tunnel, teaching the new cadets how to slipstream,” Skyline said with a bright smile. “Feel free to go on through, I’m sure you know the way.”
“Excuse me miss,” Swarm started, having to put her forehooves as high as she could to get her eyes above the counter.
“Oh hi there little one! Who’re you?” Skyline asked with a warm smile.
“I’m Swarm!” Swarm said with a little smile. “But uhm... do you have any lollipops?”
“Lollipops? What makes you think we have lollipops?” Skyline asked carefully.
“Because you have a counter!” Swarm squeaked, rapping it with a hoof. “There’s always candy hiding behind counters!”
Skyline smiled down at Swarm, and then looked up to Warden and Kuno. “You have a very smart kid,” she said with a grin, reaching down and pulling up a lollipop larger than Swarm’s entire head.
Swarm’s eyes went as wide as saucers, and her mouth fell open. “It’s huge!”
“And all for you!” Skyline said with a smile, holding the lollipop out over the counter.
Swarm bounced up, grabbing the lollipop in both hooves and immediately tearing off the wrapper with her teeth, letting it fall to the floor and then biting down on the lollipop eagerly.
Kuno frowned, giving her daughter a stern look as she picked up the wrapper. “What do you say to the nice lady?”
“FRANK YEW!” Swarm said around her mouthful of lollipop, flailing a forehoof in a respectful wave.
“Any time!” Skyline said with a happy smile.
“It was nice seeing you again,” Warden said, inclining his head respectfully towards the mare. “Say ‘hi’ to Slipstream for me, yeah?”
Kuno stared at him sideways as they advanced down the hallway. “So... who is Slipstream?”
“Old girlfriend,” Warden said airily.
Kuno’s eyes narrowed, and she turned to face the front again, her wings stiffening slightly as her eyes narrowed. “Oh. Right. Fine.”
Warden laughed at that, nudging her with his good wing and then kissing her cheek. “She is a he. And he was just a friend.”
Kuno relaxed visibly at that, her features softening. “Oh...”
“I love that you got jealous,” Warden said with a grin, nudging her cheek lightly. “It’s a very pony thing for you to do.”
Scowling, Kuno shoved him lightly with a hoof. “Shush. I’m not used to being jealous!”
Warden just smiled, pressing his wing against her own as they walked.
Warden was confident in his direction, leading them down hallways and several turns, before coming to a halt in front of a large oak door.
“Wait here,” he said, laying a hoof on the doorknob. “If you don’t hear any screaming after a few minutes, then feel free to come in.”
“Screams of pain or anger?” Kuno asked simply.
“Either,” Warden said with a helpless shrug, opening the door and stepping inside.
Inside the room was a dimly-lit space, with Wonderbolt uniforms hung from every surface. They hung in rows on the walls, and folded neatly over chairs and benches.
A single bright lamp shone in the middle of the room, casting a bright light on an old sewing machine. A shadowy figure stood behind it, pulling a suit through the sewing machine with a deceptively accurate motion. A cloud of smoke hung in the air, from a cigarette the figure was smoking. Both hooves were focusing on the suit, while she occasionally levitated the long plastic cigarette holder to her mouth and puffed at it idly.
Warden blinked, snuffling at the air curiously. “Smells completely different,” he pointed out.
The mare paused in her work, head canting to the side, her horn illuminating her face as it glowed. “Who’s there?”
Warden frowned slightly, taking another step forwards, reaching a hoof out to lift the lamp and illuminate his features. “Hi mom.”
Threadbare gasped faintly, dodging around the sewing machine and then throwing her hooves around him, squeezing him tightly to her chest. “Warden!”
Warden gave a faint laugh, leaning in to kiss her cheek lovingly. “How are you?”
“I’m good,” Threadbare said firmly, levitating the cigarette holder from her mouth and placing it down in an ashtray. “How are you?!”
“I’m good, too,” Warden responded gently, sliding back and holding her hoof in his good one. “I have... a lot of things to tell you. Sorry I haven’t... checked in recently.”
“Recently?” Threadbare asked, shaking her head slowly. “It’s been ten years!”
“Yeah...” Warden trailed off, frowning and chewing his cheek anxiously. “A lot happened...”
“Care to share?” Threadbare asked with a smile. “Are you on the way to making me a grandmother yet?”
Warden gave a nervous little laugh at that, rubbing his good hoof against his ear nervously. “Y-yeah... about that...”
Threadbare paused at that, her expression sobering. “Oh... Don’t say anything,” she said, gently covering his mouth with a hoof. “I completely understand and I’m still just as proud of you as I have ever been-”
“-Mom-” Warden tried to interject.
“-There’s no reason to be ashamed of who you are, and just because you won’t be able to make me a grandmother is no reason to be ashamed,” Threadbare said soothingly, smiling into her son’s eyes.
“Mom!” Warden interjected.
“Warden... it’s fine,” Threadbare continued with a warm smile, shaking her head. “Celestia knows the signs were all there...” she trailed off, and then squeezed his shoulder warmly with a hoof. “I don’t care that you’re gay.”
“Mom!” Warden snapped, taking a step backwards, his cheeks flushing heatedly. “I’m not gay!”
“But-”
“Excuse me?” Kuno asked from the doorway, peeking her head around the door.
“Who’s this?” Threadbare asked blankly.
“That... is my wife,” Warden said in a slightly strained tone.
Threadbare blinked once. She turned to stare at Warden, and then gave him an appraising up-and-down glance, before leaning close and playfully murmuring, “Good cover!”
Warden frowned deeply, pursing his lips. “Not funny.”
Threadbare gave a faint laugh, stepping over to Kuno. “And who are you?”
“I am Kuno,” she said, lifting a hoof to touch at her chest, making the bell on her collar jingle faintly.
“It is very nice to meet you, Kuno,” Threadbare said, embracing the pegasus-changeling immediately.
Kuno stiffened slightly at the physical contact, before relaxing and hugging the mare back, smiling faintly. “It’s nice to meet you...”
“Threadbare,” she said with a smile, pulling back and staring into Kuno’s eyes, frowning slightly. “There’s something odd about you... and it’s not just the collar...”
Kuno gave a wry smile at that. “You have good instincts, Miss Threadbare.”
“Just ‘Threadbare’, please,” she requested, smiling and shaking her head slightly.
“Well, now you’ve met my wife,” Warden said with a slight smile. “Now there’s just Swarm.”
“I know,” Warden said, brow furrowing. “I’m talking about Swarm!” he said, raising his voice at the end of the statement.
The little filly came around the doorway, most of her face obscured by the giant lollipop.
Threadbare froze, her eyes widening, blinking repeatedly and then rubbing her eyes with a hoof to make sure she wasn’t seeing things. “I-is that?”
“Yes... that’s your granddaughter,” Warden said with a smile.
Both Warden and Kuno stood aside as Threadbare pushed between them to scoop up the filly in a hard hug. “Hello there little one!” she said, kissing her cheek excitedly. “I’m your grandmother!”
Swarm pulled the edge of the lollipop out of her mouth, head cocking to the side as she stared at Threadbare. “...You’re old.”
Threadbare stared for several long seconds, before she burst out laughing, shaking her head. “Yes, yes I am old.”
Kuno facehoofed and Warden gave a slow shake of his head.
“Wanna lick?” Swarm asked, offering the lollipop.
Threadbare gave a smile at that, gently placing the filly back down on her hooves. “I’ll be fine, but thank you for the offer, little one.”
Turning back to Warden and Kuno, she raised an eyebrow. “You named her Swarm?”
“Kuno thought it would be a nice name... I agreed,” Warden admitted.
“So... how did you two meet?” Threadbare asked, looking back and forth between them.
Warden blinked rapidly, opening his mouth and then closing it immediately, his wings giving a nervous flick.
Kuno answered for him, “We met at the fair. He bought me cotton candy and I instantly fell in love with him.”
Warden gave a nervous laugh at that, nodding. “Y-yeah, that’s what happened. Yep.”
“Mommy is good at lying, daddy is not,” Swarm said simply, nibbling at the edge of the lollipop.
Warden facehoofed again.
Threadbare laughed softly, smiling back at the filly. “You are correct once again, little one.” She turned back to face Warden and Kuno, looking back and forth between them. “Now what’s the real story?”
“I’d... I’d actually prefer to tell you and Gale Force at the same time,” Warden admitted, frowning down at his hooves. “I have a lot to tell you both and I’d prefer not to repeat myself.”
Threadbare nodded, waving a hoof idly. “Your father will be here soon. It’s almost lunch time and he doesn’t much enjoy eating where the cadets can bother him, so he comes in here instead.”
Warden gave a nod, leaning against a bare counter.
The door opened again, and a larger male pegasus stepped inside, carrying a lunch tray. He paused in the doorway, looking back and forth between the assembled ponies.
“...Warden?” he asked blankly.
“That’s me,” Warden said, touching his own chest with a hoof. “Hi, Gale Force.”
Gale Force frowned, placing down his lunch tray on a counter, his expression stony. “It’s... yeah... to see you.”
“Well this is awkward,” Kuno pointed out simply.
Warden stared at the older pegasus for a long, long moment, brow furrowing. “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”
Gale Force snorted once, shaking his head. “Not particularly.”
Warden’s eyes narrowed, and a low growl built in his throat. “I knew this was a mistake.”
Kuno frowned, pushing forwards to touch her husband’s shoulder gently. “Warden... just give it some time.”
“You don’t know what he did,” Warden said flatly. “Or rather, what he didn’t do.”
Threadbare stepped between them, raising a hoof, turning to face Gale Force. “Not in front of your granddaughter!”
Gale Force frowned, looking down at Swarm. Swarm stared up at him in response, before popping the lollipop out of her mouth and hiding it behind herself. “I’m not giving you any.”
The larger pegasus gave a faint, amused snort. “Why does she have a horn?”
“I can speak, you know!” Swarm protested, pouting.
“Okay, little one, why do you have a horn?” Gale Force asked, staring directly into her eyes.
Swarm shrank back under the hard gaze, growing suddenly nervous, her voice getting small. “W-well because of mommy...” Looking away, the filly stuck the edge of the lollipop back in her mouth as a distraction, refusing to meet his gaze.
“And this is who you moved on to?” Gale Force asked bluntly, looking between Warden and Kuno slowly.
Kuno took a step forwards, her eyes narrowing slowly. “I don’t believe we’ve met, Mister Gale Force,” she said, meeting his stern gaze unwaveringly.
“And who are you?” Gale Force asked bluntly.
“I am Kuno,” she responded with a faint, almost eerie smile. “I haven’t heard a lot about you, but my husband really seems to dislike you, and he’s a good judge of character.”
“So you’re fighting his battles for him, then?” Gale Force asked simply.
Kuno gave a thoughtful hum at that, before turning away.
Warden casually reached out and grasped one of her wings.
Kuno turned back again, taking a swing at Gale Force with her hoof, but Warden’s grasp on her wing brought her up short. Kuno flailed ineffectually for a moment, growling. “Lemme go!”
After several long moments, Kuno relaxed, glowering, and then turning to stare at Warden. “Lemme hit him. Just once!”
“I like her,” Gale Force said with a slow smile. “She’s got spunk.”
Kuno turned to face him again, her eyes narrowing slowly. “If you compliment me again, I’m going to hurt you.”
Threadbare stepped between them again, shaking her head. “C’mon now guys, stop fighting. Can’t you just admit that you did wrong, Gale?”
“Gale is such a girl’s name,” Kuno piped up immediately.
Gale force narrowed his eyes slowly. “I did nothing wrong.”
“Like hell you didn’t!” Warden snapped, moving to sidestep around Kuno, but Kuno stopped him with an extended wing, blocking his progress. “Fine,” Warden said, pursing his lips. “I’ll hold his hooves, you hit him.”
Kuno chuckled darkly at that. “As appealing as that is, violence doesn’t get us anywhere, really.”
“It’ll make me feel better,” Warden stated flatly.
“Hey, we’ve got a ring outside if you wanna go ten rounds,” Gale Force stated, raising a hoof threateningly.
Warden moved to step forwards, but Kuno stopped him again, hissing faintly into his ear, “Warden, think. You only have one good hoof. You’ll get the crap beaten out of you.”
Warden gave a low growl, stamping his bad hoof into the ground angrily. A second later, his face paled, and he took several long, deep breaths, before nodding slowly. “You’re right...”
“Figured you’d run away from the fight,” Gale Force said with a smug little smile.
Swarm looked back and forth between everyone like a spectator at a sport’s game. “Why is everyone angry?”
“Lots of reasons,” Warden mumbled, shaking his head and looking away, taking a long, deep breath. “Look, Mom... it was good seeing you. Gale Force? Not so much,” he said flatly, stepping past them all. “We’re done here. Swarm, come.”
Swarm looked up them all before dodging around their legs and following after her father. “It was nice meeting you, grandma!” she called back over her shoulder.
Threadbare gave a long-suffering sigh, shaking her head. “See you next time, Swarm!”
Gale Force watched his son go with narrowed eyes, his expression unreadable.
Kuno turned to Threadbare, her expression dark. “Threadbare, please leave me and Gale Force alone.”
“You’re not going to hurt him, are you?” Threadbare asked anxiously.
“Probably not, but no promises,” Kuno admitted.
“As if this little waif could hurt me,” Gale Force said with a short, barking laugh.
Kuno turned to stare at him, a slow smile spreading across her muzzle.
Gale Force gave a slightly uncomfortable smile in response.
“Please leave him in one piece,” Threadbare said with a deep frown. “And no wrecking my uniforms!”
Kuno nodded in affirmation. “No wrecking the uniforms, no wrecking the face.”
Threadbare sighed, facehoofing, before shaking her head and picking up her cigarette again, stalking out of the room.
Kuno stared at Gale Force with narrowed eyes, her tail giving a slow, anticipatory flick back and forth behind her. “Close the door.”
“Are you hitting on me?” Gale Force asked nervously.
“Violently? No. Not yet,” Kuno said bluntly. “We’ll see how cooperative you are. Now shut. The. Door.”
Gale Force gave a slightly nervous chuckle. “Whatever you say, Princess,” he said, turning to the door and then flicking it closed.
Kuno took a step closer to him, her eyes narrowing. “Why do you hate your own son?”
“I never said I hated him,” Gale force said defensively, his brow furrowing. “Never heard of ‘tough love’ huh?”
“Tough love?” Kuno asked, stamping a hoof ominously. “What do you know about love?”
“I’m trying to make a man out of that simpering little fool,” Gale Force said calmly, “You’re more of a stallion than he is.”
“And he is more of a stallion than you!” Kuno growled, waving a hoof. “You don’t know half of what he’s been through!”
“Oh boo-fricken-hoo, his wife died because he couldn’t man up and get the medicine he needed,” Gale Force said bluntly. “If he was a stallion then maybe she’d have been fine.”
Kuno stared, slowly shaking her head. “I always knew there was something there to make him so damn doubtful of himself, but I didn’t think anyone could be as oafishly stupid as to say it was his fault!”
Gale Force snorted faintly. “His wife needed the medicine. He couldn’t get it. Ergo, it was his fault.”
Kuno’s eyes narrowed again, and she began to stalk around the larger pegasus in a slow circle. “I’m trying to understand what it is that makes you two loathe each other so much. Warden won’t tell me, and I love him too much to force him to, but I really, really dislike you, and I think I would enjoy making you tell me.”
Gale Force sneered slightly at that. “I’m not afraid of you.”
“Oh like tartarus you aren’t,” Kuno growled, continuing to circle him. “I can smell the fear on you.”
“Fine, I’m kind of bothered you’ll take a blade to my feathers or something,” Gale Force said with a roll of his eyes. “Why do you even care?”
“Because I’ve spent the better part of a decade putting Warden back together and part of why he’s so fucked up is obviously rooted heavily in having a jackass like you for a father,” Kuno spat, grinding her hooves into the floor as she circled.
“It’s not my fault my only son is such a failure,” Gale Force spat.
“A failure?” Kuno asked, her eyes narrowing and a hoof lifting, curling as though she was readying to hit him.
“He grows plants for Celestia’s sake!” Gale Force growled. “Plants! What kind of pegasus grows plants!”
“Your son does!” Kuno spat, lifting a hoof and striking Gale Force hard across the cheek with it.
Gale Force winced backwards, lifting a hoof curiously to touch his cheek. “You hit me...”
“Cottoning on, are you?” Kuno asked flatly.
“No one hits me...” Gale Force murmured, rubbing his cheek and blinking once.
“Well maybe ponies should,” Kuno growled. “You’ve ruined your son’s emotional stability just because you wanted a son that plays sports!”
“And what has he done of note?” Gale Force spat. “Tell me one thing he’s done other than grow some pissy little plants in his garden.”
Kuno’s eyes narrowed, and she ground her hooves against the floor, her eyes flashing green for the merest of instants. “What has Warden done of note?” Kuno asked silkily, her tone softening, turning slightly ominous. “Why? He grows aurora. One of the only ponies in all of Equestria that can. He single-hoofedly supplies this entire region. But I ‘spose that helping sick ponies isn’t big enough for you, huh? Did you see his wing? Did you notice he can’t put weight on his hoof? Wonder why that is? Because after his wife died, he was forced into working, growing aurora for a drug-dealer who broke his wing and his hoof for disobeying them. Not to mention that after that, he still managed to walk from his home in the valley to Canterlot, in full Royal Guard armor, no less! But I guess that still isn’t noteworthy to you, is it?” Kuno asked, stabbing the pegasus’ chest with her hoof. “Did I mention that he got his dream home near the crystal empire, an orchard and everything! Producing the rarest wine of this day and age! But then the empire came back and he gave it all up just because some crystal ponies used to own the land there a thousand years ago?”
Kuno growled, starting to pace back and forth, her wings twitching in agitation. “He’s a thoughtful, amazing pegasus, and it’s absolutely stunning that he managed to make it anywhere with an unsupportive asshole like you as a father!”
Gale Force’s ears pinned back, and he stammered slightly. “W-well I... He has to be a stallion...”
Kuno growled faintly, and then shoved the pegasus hard with both forehooves. “What you don’t understand is that your son is a stallion. He’s more a stallion than you’ll ever be. And that’s even with him just growing his ‘pissy little plants’.”
Kuno gave a huff, kicking Gale Force for good measure, before stalking past him and opening the door, slamming it behind her so hard that the doorknob broke, bouncing off the opposite wall.
Gale Force just stood there in silence, frowning.
It was a long, long minute, before Threadbare quietly picked her way back into the room, delicately opening the door. “Gale?”
“I’m fine,” he responded flatly, lifting a hoof to smooth his mane back. “She’s got fire, that one.”
“I noticed,” Threadbare said with a wan smile.
“She’s good for him,” Gale Force admitted.
“If you ever want to see Warden again, you’ll swallow your pride and go after them. I’d like to know my granddaughter, you know,” Threadbare pointed out.
Gale Force frowned, pursing his lips. “You want me to go drag them back here?”
“Go talk to him!” Threadbare said with an exasperated sigh. “From what I heard, he took your words to heart.”
“...He knows I wasn’ being serious,” Gale Force said with a deep frown. “He knows that I’m just making a stallion out of him. And if he doesn’t, he’s stupid and deserves to be a wimp.”
Threadbare sighed and shook her head slowly. “Gale, I love you, but you are a fool.”
Gale Force gave a sigh as well, shaking his head. “Fine! If it’ll get you off my back, then I’ll go talk to him, geeze, woman!” he cried, stalking to the doorway and kissing her cheek before slipping out.
Threadbare leaned around the doorway, shouting after him, “And get some candy for your granddaughter you old bastard!”
Warden was fuming as he stalked down the cloud alley, Swarm close at his heels.
Kuno huffed softly as she caught up with them, dropping out of the sky to land lightly next to them, dropping into an easy gait beside them.
Warden cast her a glance. “Did you kill him?”
“I resisted the urge,” Kuno said with a faint frown.
Warden sighed faintly. “Well, there goes that dream.”
Kuno frowned deeply, slowing her steps. “Warden... what did he do?”
Warden gave another long sigh. “He...” Warden came to a stop, sitting down on his rump and peering back over his shoulder at the Wonderbolt HQ in the distance. “When I found out that Swarm was sick -not you,” he said, as Swarm perked her ears up. “But... the medicine I needed. I told you that a group of Manticore moved in, yeah?”
“I came here... I asked him to help, and he told me that I should ‘do it by myself’ and then ignored me,” Warden spat, pawing at the cloud with a hoof. “And then after she died he... he just said that it was my fault!”
Kuno frowned deeply at that, her ears splaying back slowly. “That’s... not very nice of him. But he seems to have a... problem with the fact that you grow plants.”
“Yeah,” Warden said, starting to walk again, digging his hooves into the clouds. “He’s an unsupportive asshole and I’ll do better without him in my life.”
Kuno gave a nod. “Well... I hit him for you. He has a hard skull.”
“Thank you,” Warden said shortly.
There was a dull whump! from behind them as a heavy object landed on the cloud, and Warden froze, scowling.
Kuno peered back over her shoulder, frowning deeply. “What do you want.”
“I...” Gale Force started, frowning and pursing his lips.
Warden sat down on his rump and then stared back at his father, his eyes narrowing slowly.
“...Come back and talk to your mom for Celestia’s sake, you pansy,” Gale Force said with a wave of a hoof.
Warden grit his teeth, grinding them slowly. “Why?”
“Well, she wants to talk to you... and stuff,” Gale Force said awkwardly.
Kuno looked back and forth between them both, slowly shaking her head. “You are both so hopeless.”
“Shush,” Warden and Gale Force said at the same time.
Kuno giggled.
Warden pursed his lips, looking away. “Is this going to be one of those awkward, forced conversations where we say three words to eachother and then silently eat lunch?”
Gale Force scratched his chin with a hoof, and then nodded. “Sounds about right.”
“Fine, but you’re sitting next to me for lunch because damn if I want to even have a chance of making eye contact with you,” Warden stated flatly, stalking back down the street the way he had come.
Gale Force watched him for several long moment, before launching himself into the sky and back towards the Wonderbolt’s headquarters.
Kuno watched them both, and then turned to Swarm, waving a hoof at them. “This is your family, hun. And this is why you have no chance of growing up normal.”
Warden sat down heavily on the bed, having to squeeze slightly to fit in underneath the upper bunk, staring across at the opposite wall where a large poster of Spitfire in her Wonderbolt suit hung, with the words ‘TRY OUT FOR THE WONDERBOLTS TODAY!’ stencilled along the bottom in glaring yellow.
“This was my room,” Warden said with a faint smile, looking up to where Kuno was standing in the doorway.
“It’s very... impersonal,” Kuno said simply, still in her pegasus form, peering back and forth between the poster and the beds, literally the only things in the room.
“I wasn’t allowed to drag much stuff back and forth, really,” Warden admitted with a faint sigh. “Not much has changed, really. Cept that wasn’t always Spitfire in the posts,” he said, idly pointing a hoof at the poster. “Used to be Velocity.”
Kuno nodded at that, sliding over to the bed and then pulling herself up onto it with him, stretching out lazily. “Swarm will be fine with your parents, right?”
Warden shrugged. “She should be. Unless Gale decides to eat her.”
“You know I blackmailed you here so that you could reconcile with your family, right?” Kuno asked, pursing her lips.
“It’s not that easy,” Warden stated flatly, shaking his head. “Gale did some pretty horrendous shit.”
“I understand that, Warden,” Kuno said gently, shaking her head softly. “But he’s your father, don’t you at least owe him a chance?”
Warden frowned at that, looking thoughtful, before shrugging. “Maybe? Maybe not, though. It’s not like he ever did anything for me.”
“But he’s your father,” Kuno insisted, frowning deeply. “...I wish I had parents. In the pony sense, at least.”
Warden frowned at that, peering at his wife for a long moment. “Changelings don’t have parents?”
“Not in the classical sense,” Kuno admitted, rubbing a hoof through her mane self-consciously. “We’re birthed and then raised communally. At least.. that’s how it happens in the hive. We don’t have a designated ‘parent’ of any kind.”
“That’s... depressing,” Warden admitted.
“It keeps us from stealing love from each other constantly,” Kuno admitted with a soft sigh.
“Well that sucks. But... just because he’s my father... I don’t owe him anything. He was an unsupportive bastard my entire life and now that I’m old enough to not need him, I can tell him to go screw himself without any problems of moral,” Warden stated bluntly. “He even gave me a guard’s name,” Warden added with a slow shake of his head. “Do you know how out of touch you have to be with the world to give your child the wrong name?”
“That statement could come back to bite you on the ass,” Kuno replied with a faint grin.
Warden nodded and then gave a shrug. “I don’t even know what Swarm will want to do in life. But it’s the only name that fits.”
Kuno nodded, leaning against his side gently. “Can you at least try? For me?”
Warden bit his bottom lip, chewing roughly for a moment. “Well... For you... I guess I could try.”
“I know he’s... well, an asshole. But family is important,” Kuno urged, rubbing her nose against his neck lovingly. “And I’d really like for Swarm to have the closest to a ‘normal’ family as possible.”
“Well there goes that dream, too,” Warden said with a wave of a hoof. “She has you for a mother.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing!” Kuno protested, thumping his shoulder with a hoof.
“Not bad, per se,” Warden soothed. “Just... she won’t grow up normal. Not a chance. Not to mention she’s a miniature alicorn.”
“She’s a pegacorn,” Kuno corrected, frowning. “An alicorn is royalty. She’s just... different.”
“And not normal,” Warden said with a smile, kissing her cheek. “Just like the rest of her family.”
“So... why are we here?” Kuno asked.
“Waiting for my father to leave and go back to work,” Warden said with a long sigh.
“Sneaky,” Kuno complemented.
“I thought so too,” Warden said with a slightly strained smile. “I have a whole lot to tell my parents... but I just... I don’t feel up to talking to Gale right now.”
“But that’s kind of the entire point of coming here,” Kuno protested, frowning.
Warden gave a long-suffering sigh. “I know. But... I just don’t want to interact with him at all.”
Kuno scowled, pushing his shoulder with a hoof. “C’mon, quit stalling, let’s go.”
Warden sighed faintly, rising to his hooves. “Fine, fine.”
Warden pushed open the door to the dimly-lit sewing room, peeking around the corner.
“Where’s Swarm?” Warden asked, blinking, not seeing his daughter or his father.
“I gave Gale some bits and he’s out treating his granddaughter to ice cream,” Threadbare explained, as she pulled a flight suit through the sewing machine, inspecting the seam closely as she did so.
“Ahhh, that explains it, well, I can go then,” Warden said, waving a hoof airily and turning around.
He was met by Kuno’s smiling face, though the smile didn’t reach her eyes. She slowly shook her head.
Warden gave a long sigh, lowering his head and turning back around, slinking into the room and sitting down at one of the counters.
“Avoiding your father?” Threadbare asked curiously.
Warden harrumped as Kuno sat next to him, and then shook his head. “Trying to.”
Kuno soothingly stroked a hoof up and down his good. “He needs a strong hoof to lead him.”
Threadbare paused in her work, looking up over the sewing machine. “You know your father loves you, right?”
Warden stared into his mother’s eyes for several long moment before bursting out laughing.
Threadbare frowned deeply.
“C’mon mom,” Warden said, shaking his head slowly. “He hates me.”
“Your father... he grew up in a different time. He had a pretty rough-and-tumble life. By your age, he was already moving up the ranks of the Wonderbolt’s ladder.”
“And now look at him, stuck teaching the new guys like some second-rate cripple,” Warden said with an airy wave of a hoof. “Methinks he’s not as tough as he makes out to be.”
Threadbare pursed her lips, sitting down behind the counter and then flicking the sewing machine off, plunging the room into silence. “You... don’t know why your father teaches now, do you?”
“Can’t say I ever bothered to find out,” Warden said with a carefree shrug.
“Did you know that he stopped flying professionally around about the same time as Swarm passed away?” Threadbare asked cautiously.
Warden shrugged again. “Something to do with a training accident. I forget. Most of my memories from that time are consumed with wanting to stab him in the face for what he said.”
Threadbare gave a long sigh at that, rubbing a hoof through her mane. “Your father is a very proud stallion.”
“This conversation is going in circles,” Warden said bluntly.
“Be patient,” Kuno hissed, jabbing his ribs with her elbow.
Warden winced and then pursed his lips. “Fine, fine. Do tell me why the old bastard doesn’t fly any more.”
“Well, you know that he injured himself. He turned up at the funeral with the wing-brace on, yes?” Threadbare asked, walking her son through the events.
Warden nodded once. “I asked him about it. He told me that there’d been an accident at work and he probably would never fly for the Wonderbolts again.”
“You still haven’t put two and two together?” Threadbare asked, exasperated.
“It’s four,” Warden said confidently.
Threadbare shook her head slowly, heaving a long sigh. “Gale was with you, you know.”
“With me? Like what? In spirit?” Warden asked blankly, blinking once.
“No, with you,” Threadbare explained. “He was following you the entire way. In case you needed help.”
“Well I needed help and he wasn’t there to provide it!” Warden protested, his expression darkening. “A fat lot of help he was when I couldn’t get the medicine!”
Threadbare shook her head. “He watched you try to retrieve it, and then... he went after it himself.”
Warden frowned deeply at that, his ears splaying back. “He... did?”
Threadbare nodded gently. “He did. But he got injured in the scuffle and had to retreat, just as you did.”
“I didn’t get injured,” Warden admitted, looking down at his hooves. “I... couldn’t get that close.”
“Your father is a member of the Wonderbolt’s, Warden. They don’t like to fail any challenge. He was very fast with his wings, too. But one of the manticore was faster,” Threadbare explained delicately. “He lost his career for you, Warden. And yes, he did blame you afterwards, especially as he’d only just gotten back the diagnosis that he was never going to be able to fly professionally again.”
Warden frowned deeply at that, one of his hooves lifting to idly toy with the leading edge of his bad wing, his ears splaying. “I... never knew.”
“Well Gale would never tell you himself,” Threadbare admitted with a slow shake of her head. “He’s not... perfect. Yes he’s made some mistakes, but... you never gave him a second chance, did you?”
Warden pursed his lips, scratching idly at the floor with a hoof. “Not everypony deserves a second chance...”
Kuno snorted at that, nudging him lightly with her nose. “How many second chances have you given me?”
“Well, you didn’t do anything as...” Warden trailed off, trying to argue that Kuno hadn’t done anything as bad as his father had.
Kuno just shook her head, staring at him. “Be the bigger stallion. Quit being a petty little child.”
“You, calling me a child?” Warden accused, poking her chest with a hoof.
Kuno nodded mutely. “That should probably impress upon you the depths of your childishness.”
Warden winced slightly and nodded. “Yeah, you’re probably right there.”
Threadbare raised an eyebrow. “So... are you going to give him a chance?”
Warden rubbed a hoof through his mane self-consciously. “I... I suppose I could cut him some slack...”
“Good,” Kuno crooned, draping a hoof over his shoulders, “Now, we just to tell them all about us,” she said with an eerily happy grin.
Warden wrinkled his nose at that, giving an awkward, self-conscious laugh. “I ahh.. think that might be a bit much right now.”
“Oh, but it’s going to be so fun to tell them every little det-” Kuno trailed off, peering back over her shoulder at the door as Gale Force entered.
Swarm was perched between the larger pegasus’ wings, holding onto the leading edge of one with a hoof and stuffing her face with an ice cream cone with the other, pushing her nose into the cone itself to try and lick more ice cream from inside.
Gale Force paused in the doorway, looking back and forth between the three ponies already in the room. “Do I need to leave?”
“No, stay,” Threadbare said, patting the space beside her.
“Yes, stay,” Warden said shortly.
“The ice cream is stuck at the bottom!” Swarm protested, peering into the ice cream cone.
“Eat it,” Warden suggested.
“It’s at the bottom,” Swarm said, with the air of a teacher correcting a very dim student.
“Eat the cone,” Warden said, rolling his eyes.
“You can eat the cone? It’s cardboard,” Swarm protested, wrinkling her nose at it. “Soggy cardboard!”
“We’ve never given her cones before?” Warden asked, peering at Kuno.
“We just give it to her in bowls and tubs,” Kuno said with a shrug.
Warden sighed, turning back to face his daughter. “Yes, you can eat the cone. It even tastes nice... where it’s all crunchy and not soggy.”
Swarm pondered on this for several long seconds, before beginning to nibble around the edge of the cone, steadily eating her way towards the bottom.
Gale Force calmly made his way over to his wife, sitting down beside her. Swarm hung onto his back with a hoof hooked around one of his wings, before she slowly slid down his back and landed on her rump, happily eating the ice cream cone the entire time.
“So...” Warden said after a long moment.
“So,” Gale Force responded.
“How’s the uh... career?” Warden asked awkwardly.
“It’s good. The new batch of recruits look like they’ll shape up well.”
“That’s ah... good,” Warden responded, scratching at his neck with a hoof. “Do you erm... miss doing the shows?”
Gale Force turned to stare at Threadbare for a long moment, his eyes narrowed. Threadbare just gave a shrug, turning to pick up torn flight suit and inspecting it closely.
“More than anything,” Gale Force admitted, frowning and rubbing his chin with a hoof.
“I’m sorry that you can’t fly with them any more,” Warden said awkwardly.
“S’not your fault, but thanks for the thought,” Gale Force responded with a flippant wave of a hoof. He turned his gaze to Kuno. “So... tell me about yourself, Kuno? Who are you? Why are you wearing a collar? And why are you so... intimidating, especially given that you weigh about as much as a feather soaking wet in a flight suit.”
“Wellll, the collar, this thing?” Kuno asked, idly lifting a hoof to touch at the bell. “It’s...” she trailed off, clasping a hoof over Warden’s muzzle. “It’s from when I first met Warden. He locked me in a room with a one-way mirror, bars over the window, and a bed. Oh, and the collar was to keep me from escaping during meal times.”
Warden’s parents were aghast.
Warden struggled away from Kuno’s hoof, giving a nervous laugh. “A-all lies. Kuno is quite the jokester,” he said with a strained smile, nudging her with his elbow. “Ix-nay on the... on the... just stop!”
“Why do... why do I believe you?” Gale Force asked cautiously.
“Because it’s the truth,” Kuno said simply. “Though, he was perfectly warranted in his safety measures. ‘Course, I broke his alarm clock, and used a spring from it to pick the lock on my collar.”
“Resourceful,” Gale Force said with an appraising nod, even though his wings had flared just slightly, ready to move should he need to.
Warden moved to clasp his hoof over her mouth, but Kuno dodges backwards idly, keeping him at bay with her own hoof. “Course, once I got free, I needed somewhere to stay... so I stayed with him. I fell in love with him. And then Daggertail’s thugs came around and broke his wing and hoof since he wasn’t being a good little boy like he promised.”
Warden hung his head, giving a long sigh.
“They broke your wing and hoof?” Gale Force asked, staring. “But... Daggertail was murdered...” he frowned deeply, staring at Kuno for several long moments. “You mean...”
Kuno nodded slowly. “I murdered him. It was actually pretty easy. Not nearly as satisfying as I had hoped, though. Shine was much more fun. I got to... toy with him before the end.”
All the blood had drained from Gale Force’s and Threadbare’s faces, and they seemed painfully aware that Kuno was between them and the exit.
“But that was while Warden was in the hospital. He ended up there because just a few hours after Shine brutalised him, he drugged himself up and managed to drag his sorry ass all the way to Canterlot to rescue me from the royal guard,” Kuno said with a short nod.
“But that was...” Threadbare trailed off, her eyes widening. “T-that was you and Warden?”
“Your wife keeps up with the news,” Kuno said with a slow smile, staring at Gale Force. “Of course, after that, he was in an induced coma for a few weeks. I left before he woke up, because I’m selfish and heartless like that.”
Kuno trailed off, humming faintly and ordering her thoughts, scratching at her chin with a hoof. “I came back, because I decided I wanted him all to myself. By this point, he was already at the farm in the far north, near the old Crystal Empire. I paid for the farm with money I ‘appropriated’ over the years in my err... ‘line of work’. It’s amazing how many bits you save by not needing to eat regular food.”
Warden shook his head, holding his face in a hoof.
“So, then we went to see the queen, to see if it was possible for us to have a child together,” Kuno continued.
“Don’t you mean Princess?” Gale Force queried.
“Queen,” Kuno corrected with an eerie smile. “Warden got into a spot of bother and was saved by none other than yours truly. We got married. On a cloud. There were fireworks and everything. It was quite nice.”
Gale Force cocked his head to the left. “None of this is making any sense.”
“The truth rarely does,” Kuno said dryly. “Either way, we broke up the day after the wedding... Or was it the same day?” Kuno turned to peer at Warden, raising an eyebrow. “When was it?”
“I don’t remember...” Warden said with a faint whine, covering his face with his hooves. “Kuno... please stop.”
Kuno continued doggedly. “Well, whenever it was, we broke up because my queen came back, blurted all my secrets, and Warden demanded that I remove the love spell I had on him for the previous two years or so. He didn’t take that so well.” Kuno hummed faintly, rubbing her face curiously. “I swear, he almost broke bones when he hit me. He was mad.”
Warden gave a long sigh, shaking his head back and forth in disbelief, face entirely covered by his hooves.
“But then he fell back in love with me and we had Swarm,” Kuno finished brightly, waving a hoof at filly who was now attempting to see if the cone would fit over her horn.
Gale Force slowly shook his head. “How much of that was true?”
“Everything,” Kuno said evenly, meeting his gaze unwaveringly. “Also,” she waved a hoof, and there was a flash of green. When it faded, Kuno in her natural form was standing there, staring at them challengingly, though she lost several inches of height in the change.
“I’m a changeling, Warden has an illegitimate foal with an earth pony named Green Hoof, so you’re grandparents twice over, Swarm is part changeling, hence the wings and horn, your son is totally turned on when I chirp at him, and I can and have turned into a dragon before. Oh, and I am now legally related to you. Hi mom, hi dad.”
A pin rolled off the counter next to the sewing machine and fell to the carpet with an audible sound.
The door opened, and a fiery-maned pegasus poked her head in. “Hey Threadbare, I was just-” she paused, taking in the scene in front of her. A changeling, Threadbare, Gale Force, Warden, and a little pegacorn filly chewing on an ice cream cone in the corner, nopony speaking, all staring at one another. “-Leaving,” she finished, instantly turning around and walking back out.
Warden covered his face with his hooves, shaking his head slowly. “Kuno, I love you... but... really?”
“You think I’m going to lie to them?” Kuno asked bluntly, perking an ear in his direction.
Warden mulled that over for a moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Well... actually... yes!”
Kuno snorted once, rolling her eyes. “They would have figured it out, eventually.”
“Not all at once!” Warden protested, rubbing a hoof against his forehead, wincing.
Gale Force stared at Kuno, brow furrowing deeply, before he punched his hoof with the other, frowning.
“This isn’t a dream,” Kuno said with a long sigh.
Gale Force harrumphed. “I... was kinda hoping. So... you’re a changeling?”
“Evidently,” Kuno quipped.
Gale Force looked back and forth between Kuno and Warden, his wings giving an irritated flick and flutter. “I...”
“What are you doing to my son?” Threadbare asked suddenly, snatching a large knitting needle off the counter in front of her and brandishing it like a dagger.
Kuno rolled her eyes, completely unperturbed. “I’m not doing anything to him, at the moment.”
Threadbare gave a low growl of suppressed anger. “I don’t believe you!”
Gale Force extended a hoof to halt his wife. “They’ve been together together long enough to have a foal, which must have been a trial in and of itself. I doubt you’re going to get anywhere with a knitting needle.”
“She’s a changeling!” Threadbare protested.
“I noticed,” Gale Force said dryly, plucking the needle out of her grasp. “Remember how you’re more emotional than I am? Let calmer heads prevail. No doubt she’d kill us if you attacked her.”
“Maybe,” Kuno said with a bright smile.
“Not helping,” Warden chimed in.
“Look, we’re not going to get anywhere like this,” Gale Force said, rubbing a hoof against his temple. He then pointed at Warden. “You, with me. We’re leaving.”
“W-what?!” Threadbare spluttered.
“You and Kuno are going to sit here and talk about mare stuff,” Gale Force said with an idle wave of a hoof. “Just talk about pink lace and double-layer drapes and you two will get along fine.”
“You understand that you’re leaving your wife with a changeling?” Kuno pointed out with a slow raising eyebrow.
“The thought had crossed my mind,” Gale Force said with a faint shudder. “But I sure as tartarus aren’t staying in the same room as you.”
“And you want me to?!” Threadbare exclaimed, flailing a hoof at her husband.
Gale Force turned to face his wife, holding up a hoof placatingly, before slowly, carefully enunciating, “Pink frilly lace,” and then turning to push Warden. “C’mon, me and you are going to go get a drink.”
“I don’t drink,” Warden said with a faint shudder.
“Well you’re going to start, wimp,” Gale Force said, pushing harder.
Warden gave a long, weary sigh, and allowed himself to be marched towards the door. He looked back over his shoulder with a forlorn grimace. “Kuno, try not to weird my mom out too much, yeah?”
Kuno sketched a salute in his direction with a sly grin. “I’ll make sure I do.”
Warden winced again, and then was pushed bodily out the door, before it slammed shut, leaving Kuno, Threadbare, and Swarm alone in the room.
“Well, this is... awkward,” Threadbare said, rubbing a hoof against her neck helplessly.
Kuno perked an ear upwards, stretching slowly. “Feels good to get out of that pegasus form, though!”
Threadbare grimaced slightly, one of her hooves twitching towards another knitting needle.
“You don’t... really like pink frilly lace?” Kuno asked bluntly.
Threadbare paused at that, giving a slightly strained smile. “Ahhh... no. But Gale Force was spending too much time at home moping so I covered the place in them because I know he hates them.”
Kuno gave a soft giggle at that, shaking her head. “I’ve got Warden so whipped that I just threaten to put the collar on him if he doesn’t behave.”
“You’re talking about my son,” Threadbare scowled.
“And?” Kuno asked with a slight shrug of her shoulder. “Everypony is somepony’s son. Why should your feelings be any more or less than some other mother’s?”
Threadbare frowned at that, her ears splaying back. “I... don’t know.”
“Admitting it is the first step,” Kuno said with a faint giggle.
Threadbare rubbed at her neck with a hoof, casting her gaze left and then right, as though looking for an escape. “So... how much... of what you said, how much of that was true?”
“All of it,” Kuno said with a slight shrug.
“A-all of it?” Threadbare asked weakly.
“Well, what bit did you have issue with?” Kuno asked simply, sitting down on her rump and stretching slowly.
Swarm wandered over to Kuno, curling up between her forelegs and yawning, licking her hooves clean of cone crumbs and then laying her head on her hooves, closing her eyes.
“Pretty much just... the err... well the bit where you... yeah, all of it,” Threadbare said, rubbing a hoof through her mane helplessly.
Kuno gave a long sigh, chewing on her bottom lip. “Well... I was blown out of Canterlot by that thing Princess Cadance did. That kinda hurt. I woke up in the fields somewhere, with Warden standing over me.
Warden knocked me out and dragged me back to his cottage. He kept me dosed up on these erm... magic suppressant pills that knocked me right on my ass with every single dose. He put a collar around my neck, locked it in place with a padlock, and then used a tether to keep me contained when he fed me meals. He really liked soup.”
Threadbare gave a faint groan at that. “That was all he ate at home. He could grow a thousand plants, but he couldn’t even boil water properly.”
Kuno gave a wry smile at that. “I’ve since taught him to cook ramen noodles and make stir frys.”
“Impressive,” Threadbare said, nodding.
“Well, either way, after all of that, he was still a complete idiot,” Kuno said with a wave of a hoof. “Let me break his alarm clock and I stole one of the springs from inside it. Bent it all out, made some lockpicks out of them, and used them to unlock my collar and get the upper hoof over him.”
“With a spring... out of a clock?” Threadbare asked incredulously.
“You’d be surprised what can be used. I was thinking I’d have to try and splinter a piece of my chitin to use...” Kuno shuddered faintly, wings giving an irritated buzz. “Not something I wanted to do.”
“So you didn’t murder him?” Threadbare asked carefully.
“I considered it for a little while,” Kuno admitted, nodding once, and then shrugging. “But something about him intrigued me. He liked me. Not a whole lot, but a little. Enough for me to get my hearing back.”
“Your hearing was gone?” Threadbare asked blankly.
“Oh, right!” Kuno said, facehoofing. “I was pretty injured from the magic blast thing that Cadance and Shining Armor did. I was completely deaf for a few days there. But anyway! After I got him down, I used some of my magic on him to make him spill all his secrets to me.”
“You can... do that?” Threadbare asked weakly.
Kuno nodded simply. “Very useful, really. And while I was making him tell me everything, I hit him with a very special love spell my true Queen taught me before she died.”
“True Queen?” Threadbare asked, rubbing her temple with a hoof.
“From across the sea. Chrysalis is not my queen, and is actually in the Canterlot dungeons as a direct result of Warden and I’s choices,” Kuno explained, waving a hoof airily. “But really, stuff happened, and we fell in love.”
“Because you used a spell on him!” Threadbare exclaimed.
“Sure,” Kuno said with a shrug, her wings buzzing again. “But that’s neither here nor there at this point. I disappeared for a year or so after his spat with Daggertail. You know, that unicorn I murdered.”
“And you’re a murderer,” Threadbare said weakly.
“Daggertail was a vile, vile creature. He was forcing your son to grow aurora. Either way, I wandered off for a year, started to miss Warden, and then came back for him. Yadda yadda yadda emotional crap, we got married, and then Chrysalis broke my cover and Warden found out about the magic I was using on him. Sooo, he hated me for a little while. A few hours at least. Beat the absolute crap out of me, too,” Kuno said with a frown, rubbing her cheek in remembrance. “Kinda easy to forget that we’re supposed to be mortal enemies when we’d been together so long.”
Threadbare frowned deeply at that. “But now you’re back together?”
“Warden realised he actually did love me,” Kuno said matter-of-factly.
Threadbare’s eyes narrowed slowly. “Let me guess, you used magic to help him along to that point?”
Kuno shook her head slowly. “Nope. Not that time. Look... I love your son,” Kuno stated, holding the mare’s gaze confidently. “I love him more than I thought it would be possible. I spent more than nine months as a pegasus so that we could have a child together. I turned into a dragon for him. I murdered for him. And he is the sole reason that we’re having this conversation face-to-face and I’m not magically implanting the suggestion in your head that a changeling is a great thing to have as a daughter-in-law.”
Threadbare frowned at that, her ears splaying back. “That is hardly reassuring.”
Kuno gave a shrug of her shoulders. “Well, look at this way. I’m a changeling. I have five years of love energy just stored up inside me like a bomb waiting to go off, except probably a lot safer... probably! And I’m in love with your son. And he loves me. And we’re married. You can accept it, or you can fight it. Either way, I’m going to win.”
Threadbare pursed her lips, going quiet as she idly began to rifle through the various squares of materials she had on hoof. “So... what are Swarm’s measurements? I’ll need them if I’m to make her a good uniform for dress occasions.”
Warden sighed as he was pushed into the bar area of the Wonderbolt’s headquarters. A long, polished oak bar stood against one wall, with a series of bottles set up neatly behind it and upside-down glasses lined up on the bar itself. It was the place for the Wonderbolts to unwind after training sessions, and right now, it was deserted.
Gale Force leaned over the bar, snatching up a bottle of Cloudsdale Cloud Cider. It was specially made in a cloud fermentation process from the finest of apples specially selected from Sweet Apple Acres.
Gale Force picked up a pair of glasses, thudding them down on a table and then taking the chairs off of the table, and setting them down, sliding one across to Warden. “Sit.”
Warden sat down in the chair, ears splaying back. “What are we doing?”
Gale Force poured out two different glasses of liquid, and then slid one of them across the table to Warden. “Drink.”
Frowning, Warden picked up the glass of liquid, and sniffed it gently, nose wrinkling.
“Drink,” Gale Force stated again, picking up his own glass and taking a long gulp.
Warden frowned again, grimacing, and then taking a large gulp of liquid. He breathed out heavily, making a face and then squirming helplessly. “Argh, burning!”
“Get over it, ya pussy,” Gale Force said, downing the rest of his glass without hesitation, and then refilling it. “So... a changeling, huh?”
Warden nodded slowly. “A changeling.”
“You... knew she was a changeling all along, right?” Gale Force asked bluntly.
“Aye. Kinda gave it away when I found her unconscious in the field,” Warden admitted frowning and taking another gulp of the cider, wrinkling his nose at the burning sensation.
Gale Force frowned at that, sipping his drink again. “And... you didn’t turn her into the guard?”
“They would have executed her!” Warden said defensively.
Gale Force slowly raised a brow. “Do you really believe that? That Princess Celestia would execute somepony? Even a changeling?”
“W-well I... I couldn’t take the chance,” Warden admitted, looking away. “I wasn’t going to be responsible for her death.”
“You are such a pansy,” Gale Force said with a slow shake of his head, sighing and taking another deep gulp of the alcohol.
“You might wanna slow down on that, Gale, you’re going to get drunk really, really fast,” Warden cautioned with a frown.
“Why don’t you ever call me ‘dad’?” Gale Force asked bluntly, his words starting to slur slightly, even as he refilled his glass.
“Because you’ve never really... been a father to me,” Warden admitted, frowning down into his mostly-empty glass, swirling the golden liquid slowly. “You demeaned me, treated me like crap, made fun of my life choices... I was nothing but a disappointment to you and you made sure I knew it.”
“A boy’s gotta be tough to make it alone in the world,” Gale Force stated bluntly, waving a hoof and then moving to refill his glass.
Warden placed a hoof on the bottle, frowning deeply. “There is a difference between ‘tough love’ and simply treating someone like shit and hoping that they’ll get ‘tough’ from it.”
Gale Force scowled, snatching the bottle away and cradling it against his chest, before taking a large gulp from it, ignoring his empty glass. “You’re the stallion you are today because of what I did.”
Warden narrowed his eyes slowly. “I am the stallion I am today because I decided to leave the damn house and get away from you before I was really ready to leave. You forced me to move to Ponyville, and forced me to quit flight school to go and grow my ‘pansy little plants’, so yeah, what I am now is on you.”
Gale Force stared at Warden at that, taking another long gulp of the cider, completely nonplussed. “I guess it is my fault how you turned out, huh?”
Frowning, Warden looked away, chewing on his bottom lip. “You... you couldn’t have known that forcing me out of the house would end up with me... growing things.”
Gale Fore’s eyes narrowed, and he scowled. “It was abundantly clear that you weren’t a strong flier, and when you showed more interest in vines than with flying, it became pretty obvious that your wings were just for decoration, so yeah, I forced you out of the house. I made it completely unbearable for you to live with us so that you’d piss off and go live with the earth ponies, where I’d be happy you were gone.”
Warden frowned deeply at that, scratching at the edge of the table with a hoof. “You... you weren’t happy I left, were you?”
“I figured you’d either get good at flying, or leave. You left,” Gale Force said with a shrug. “That was your choice, not mine.”
“Well thanks for being so supportive,” Warden said sarcastically.
“Do you love her?” Gale Force slurred suddenly.
“Of course I love her!” Warden snapped. “I wouldn’t be married to her if I didn’t.”
“She isn’t forcing you? Using you?” Gale Force pressed.
Warden rolled his eyes. “Yes, she wears the collar because she’s the dominant one in our relationship.”
“That’s kinda weird,” Gale Force said solemnly.
“And you are now drunk,” Warden said bluntly.
“I should hope so,” Gale Force admitted, swishing the bottle around. It sounded half empty. “I’ll be damned if I’m going to discuss your family sober.”
“We’re not really discussing anything, Gale,” Warden said coldly. “You’re just questioning my choices. Again.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Gale Force asked flatly. “If nopony ever questions your actions, then you’ll make all the wrong decisions.”
“Oh, like not helping me get the herb that would have saved Swarm?” Warden asked suddenly, rising to his hooves, his eyes narrowing. “Who questioned you on that?”
“That was... a mistake,” Gale Force said solemnly. “I’ll admit it freely. I should have helped you. I should have gone along and tried to get it myself when you failed.”
Warden glowered at his father for several long moments, slowly shaking his head. “Are you that stubborn? Mom told me that you went after the herb, and that you got injured in the process and lost your entire career because of it. Is it so hard to just say it?! ‘Oh, hey son, I gave up my career for you. Wanna be friends?’. Is that so difficult? Don’t you even care if your own son likes you?”
Gale Force stared up at him for several long moment, pursing his lips and wrinkling his nose. “I’m not here to be your friend, boy. I’m here to be your father.”
“It doesn’t bother you in the least that I hate you?” Warden asked flatly, holding his father’s gaze intently.
A soft laugh left the older pegasus. “You know? Sometimes, it does a little bit,” Gale Force admitted, taking another long drink of the bottle of cider and swaying slightly. “And sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out if I was one of those touchy-feely fathers who never questions their children’s actions, who always supports them no matter what.” He frowned at that, grimacing slightly and then shaking his head, as though he had a sour taste in his mouth. He looked Warden up and down, and then gave a soft snort. “But then I look at you, and how far you’ve come, and I’m fine with it.” He waved a hoof idly. “Now get out of my face, you’re messing with my high.”
Warden scowled at that, sidestepping around the table and then giving his father a long, long stare. “I don’t believe for a moment that you did this for me.”
“Believe what you want,” Gale Force said, waving his hoof dismissively. “Go grow your plants and raise your daughter. You’ve already said all you need to say to me.”
Frowning, Warden made his way to the door, pushing it open and then peering back towards the drunk pegasus, chewing the inside of his cheek, before sketching a fake, sarcastic salute in Gale Force’s direction. “It’s been really nice seeing you, dad.”
Gale Force perked an ear back as he heard the door close, and he nodded solemnly to himself, quietly taking another swig from the cider bottle.
Kuno and Threadbare looked up as Warden entered the room, both of them leaning over the sewing machine. Swarm was sleeping in the corner, curled up on a pile of Wonderbolt uniforms.
“Oh hey, how did the whole talking thing go?” Kuno asked, surreptitiously sliding a frilly pink lace underneath a square of fabric.
“He’s trying to drink himself into a coma at the bar and we made absolutely no progress at all,” Warden said with a slight shrug. “Not that I expected anything to come of it, honestly.
Kuno frowned slightly at that, her ears splaying back. “Well that’s… not a good outcome.”
Threadbare gave a slight shrug. “Well, your father is rather stubborn.”
“I see you two haven’t murdered each other yet,” Warden observed, sitting down at one of the counters and idly tugging a torn Wonderbolt flight suit towards him, inspecting the tear.
“I resisted the urge,” Threadbare said, deadpan.
Warden gave a snort of suppressed laughter.
“What?” Threadbare asked, brow furrowing.
Warden perked an ear upwards, motioning with his nose towards Kuno. “She says the exact same thing.”
Kuno frowned at that, lips pursing. “I do it more adorably!”
Warden gave a reasonable nod. “I’ll concede that point. So… when are we leaving?”
“Tomorrow!” Threadbare and Kuno said together.
Warden gave a slightly strained smile. “But there’s nowhere for us to sleep…”
“We’ve already worked it all out so don’t even bother trying to weasel out of it,” Kuno said flatly, eyes narrowing at him.
Warden gave a faint whine. “But I wanted to go home and make dinner and sleep and stuff.”
“Do I need to put the collar on you?” Kuno asked threateningly.
Warden sighed heavily. “Usually it takes hours of begging for that to happen.”
Threadbare paled, clearing her throat loudly and flicking the sewing machine back on. “Not listening!”
A faint laugh left Warden, and he shook his head, sliding over to his wife and peering over her shoulder. “Whatcha doing?”
“Making a pretty little dress for Swarm. I was a seamstress for a while,” Kuno said with a nod.
Warden pondered on that for a long moment. “How many ponies haven’t you been?”
“Never been the princess before,” Kuno said thoughtfully, rubbing a hoof against her chin. “Well, except for that one night, when we…” Kuno trailed off, stealing a glance at Threadbare. The unicorn’s ears had pinkened, and she was focusing on the dress intensely.
Warden leaned past the changeling, “We didn’t, mom. She’s just joking. She did become Princess Luna to scare off some thugs one time though. That was pretty awesome.”
“So you can really just… be any pony you want?” Threadbare asked, looking up from the suit.
Kuno nodded slowly. “Even turned into a dragon once. But that almost killed me.”
“Will Swarm…?” Threadbare asked cautiously, peering at the sleeping filly.
Kuno and Warden both shrugged helplessly. “Nobody knows,” Kuno admitted, her wings giving an anxious buzz. “She can’t even use magic yet… and there’s never been a changeling and pony hybrid, so it’s anyone’s guess!”
Threadbare frowned at that, giving a slow nod. “Well… you’ll both be ready for it, no matter what happens, right?”
“Sure!” Warden said with a slightly strained smile. “I hope. I can’t use magic so it’ll fall squarely to Kuno to teach her all that stuff.”
“And speaking of teaching things, I might go have a talk to your father,” Kuno said brightly, standing up.
Warden stopped her with an outstretched hoof, shaking his head slowly. “I know what your talks are like, and I don’t think he’ll survive.”
“But I just want you two to love each other!” Kuno said with a faint whine.
“I’m afraid it’s going to take a lot more work than a day can contain,” Warden said with a slow shake of his head.
Kuno gave a long sigh. “Fine. Fine. I won’t interfere.”
“Do you promise?” Warden asked pointedly.
Kuno slowly raised an eyebrow.
Warden gave a long-suffering sigh, dropping his hoof. “Of course you don’t.”
Threadbare perked her ears upwards. “You two are… cute together.”
Kuno grinned at that, her expression turned evil. “Did you hear that, Warden? The magic is working!”
Threadbare paled, her eyes widening.
Kuno peered back at her, expression blank, before she dissolved into laughter.
Warden just slowly shook his head.
Warden stretched lazily and harrumphed as he threw himself across his old bed. It was off-season for the Wonderbolts, and with no new recruits coming through and half of the old recruits being axed through a process of natural selection, the headquarters were relatively empty.
It felt decidedly odd to be in his old quarters. He had never been a strong enough flyer to get anywhere near the Wonderbolts themselves, so he always felt completely out of place. Especially since he was more interested in the plants growing in the lobby than any of the complex flying tricks the ‘bolts could do.
There was a knock at the door, and Warden looked up, giving a single blink.
Spitfire was in his doorway, head canted to the left, watching him. “Hi Warden, I heard you were back in here. I have a present for you!”
Warden shook his head slowly, slipping to his hooves and then slipping over to the door, leaning in to kiss her nose gently. “Silly. Right here, in the headquarters? Such a naughty pegasus.” He slipped a hoof around her neck, pulling her into the room and closing the door after them. “You know you don’t have to do this for me, right?’
The pegasus gave a slightly awkward smile at that, seemingly off-balance. “Well... you know… I just thought it would be nice... and all.”
“Look at you, acting all shy. You can drop the act,” Warden said with a gentle shake of his head, nudging his nose against her own and then kissing her again. “We’re alone, Swarm is with my mother…”
The pegasus gave a strained smile at that. “Uh… yeah, I suppose that she is.”
“Well… this is interesting,” Kuno said, peeking around the edge of the doorway.
Warden looked up slowly, and then blinked even more slowly. “I… what?” He looked back at Spitfire, and then at Kuno, and then back again, his eyes slowly widening. He flailed his forehooves, bouncing back off the bed. “Oh wow this is totally not what it looks like and oh my sweet Celestia did I… I just... no!” he shook his head vigorously, burying his face in his hooves.
Kuno slipped in the door, closing it neatly behind her, sitting down and peering back and forth between the two pegasi. “Please, continue.”
Spitfire blinked, even more confused now, looking from Warden, to the changeling, nonplussed at the appearance of the non-pony. “So… I uh… I found those old goggles you lost, signed by Velocity,” she said awkwardly, holding out the goggles.
Warden didn’t even look up, his face burning with intense warmth, voice muffled as he responded, “Y-yeah… t-thanks Spitfire. P-please just forget about anything I did or said or anything of the sort and it was totally an accident.”
Spitfire looked from Warden, and then to Kuno again, her brow furrowing. “So… you… you have her pretend to be me?” she asked suddenly, putting two and two together.
Warden squeezed his muzzle with his hooves, shaking his head intently. “No, no, no, no! Never! I wouldn’t dream of doing that!”
“We totally have,” Kuno said simple, a mischievous smile on her muzzle.
Warden flailed a hoof towards his wife. “No, we haven’t!”
Spitfire looked back and forth between them, biting her bottom lip. “That’s… that’s… actually kinda hot.”
Warden stopped mid hoof-flail, his eyes widening, blinking once, and then slowly turning to stare at the Wonderbolt Captain. “Ahwhat?”
Kuno gave a soft giggle, pressing a hoof against her mouth to stifle the sound.
“So you can totally be me?” Spitfire asked, stepping down off the bed, her eyes narrowing intently.
“No.” Warden shook his head firmly, pursing his lips. “She cannot, has not, and will not.”
“I totally can,” Kuno said with another suppressed giggle, obviously enjoying the scene a little too much.
“And you’ve…?” Spitfire asked.
“We totally have,” Kuno said, nodding slowly and licking her fangs.
Warden flailed a hoof at her. “She’s lying!”
Spitfire looked back and forth between them, “You don’t think that I could-”
“-No.” Warden cut across her, shaking his head firmly and pushing her bodily towards the door with both hooves. “Time to leave!”
“No, please!” Spitfire said, trying to reach past him towards the changeling.
Warden tugged the door open, pushing her out it. “No.”
Spitfire gave a soft whine, reaching out a hoof placatingly. “Well can I watc-”
“-No!” Warden said, slamming the door in her face. His chest heaved as he turned around and sat against the door, burying his face in his hooves, slowly shaking his head.
Kuno stared at him for several long, long moments, biting her bottom lip, tears in her eyes. “I… I honestly just love this place,” she murmured, before dissolving into helpless, wracking laughter.
“That… that just seriously did not happen,” Warden said blankly, staring at the wall and shaking his head. “I’m lucky I’m not being carted off to jail!”
Kuno was still giggling, rolling about on the floor. “That so just happened! And you are never ever going to live it down!”
“She wanted to watch!” Warden said aghast, burying his face in his hooves, and then tugging at his ears with them, and then turning an accusing glare to Kuno. “You planned this. You made this happen, didn’t you?”
“I honestly did not!” Kuno said, jumping up to her hooves and placing a hoof over her heart sincerely. “This was just one of those super-awesome random moments that always happens to you!”
“Well I’m glad you’re so amused at my utter mortification!” Warden said, rubbing his hooves across his cheeks vigorously. “I may never return to my normal shade of white!”
Kuno dissolved into giggling again, flailing her hooves helplessly. “Who knew the captain of the Wonderbolts was such a freak?”
“No one will ever know of this!” Warden hissed, pointing a hoof at her threateningly. “Or I’m tying you back up in the kitchen!”
Kuno gave him a long stare, slowly shaking her head and rolling her eyes. “At some point, you will realise that your punishments are less of a deterrent than you think.”
“That’s just because you’re a freak!” Warden accused, stepping closer to her and drawing her into a firm kiss, and then shuddered faintly. “Oh sweet Celestia I kissed Spitfire and I’m not in jail.”
“Exciting, isn’t it?” Kuno said with a giggle, licking his nose once. “You should have felt it from my end. She went from disgusted to intrigued in a microsecond!”
“How could… why would… just… how could anypony be interested in… themselves?” Warden asked, utterly confused. “If you turned into me, I wouldn’t even be interested. At all. I’d probably be extremely off-put and completely skeeved out.”
Kuno gave a thoughtful hum, looking up at the ceiling. “On a completely unrelated note, I know what I want for my birthday.”
Warden paled.
Kuno gave a suppressed giggle, kissing his nose gently. “To answer your question, it’s called narcissism. Most top athletes and models and whatnot have it. They love their own image.”
Warden frowned at that. “Does that mean you could turn into one of them and love yourself and get infinite energy? Is a narcissistic changeling like a never-ending battery?”
“Doesn’t work like that, silly,” Kuno said, leaning forwards and nudging him affectionately. “So what are these goggles she brought for you?”
Warden reached over, scooping them up and blowing on them, clearing a film of dust. “Goggles that Velocity gave me. She was the old Wonderbolt captain, back in the day, before Spitfire took over.”
“You had a crush on her?” Kuno asked simply.
Warden pondered on that, and then gave a half-nod. “Possibly? I was pretty young. She was a very, very impressive pegasus.”
“And you lost her goggles?” Kuno asked, tugging them out of his grasp and peering at them closely.
Warden gave a faint laugh and shook his head ruefully. “What can I say? I snuck down to the forest to look at some vines and I lost my goggles somewhere between here and there.”
Kuno stared at him for a long moment, pursing her lips. “Did I ever tell you that you have an exceptionally boring childhood?”
Warden shrugged. “Why don’t you ask me again when I actually grow up?”
Kuno glowered at him, biting his nose playfully. “You are never growing up while you’re with me...”
“You were going to say that you only have sex with children but realised how bad that sounds and stopped, didn’t you?” Warden accused.
Kuno blinked rapidly, and then gave a soft giggle. “You know me so well it’s scary.”
“Not enough to know when it’s not you walking into my room spouting off double-entendres!” Warden admitted, shaking his head and nudging her firmly.
Kuno giggled and licked his forehead lovingly. “I am so going to use that against you in future.”
Warden smiled, wrapping his hooves around her. “I figured.”
Gale Force looked up from his drink as he heard a bell jingling, and peered over his shoulder.
Warden pulled up a chair beside him, sitting down at the counter and pursing his lips slightly.
Gale Force squinted slightly, observing the collar around his neck. “Uhhh… Warden… what are you wearing a collar?”
Warden gave an eager smile and a shrug. “I have to wear it until I reconcile with you. Kuno’s orders.”
“Ahhh… that little changeling. That’s kinda weird that you let her walk all over you,” Gale Force said, turning back to the front.
“I love it,” Warden said simply, taking the bottle from Gale Force and pouring some of it into a glass, downing it easily and slamming the glass down on the counter.
“Since when do you drink?” Gale Force asked, brows furrowing.
“Since I’m trying to connect with you,” Warden said bluntly, staring into his father’s eyes.
“Why are you so… so determined that we should be friends?” Gale Force asked bluntly.
“Well dad, it might be because you’re, you know, my father. I wouldn’t be here without you. That’s pretty special, don’t you think?” Warden asked bluntly, staring up at him, lips pursing. “I mean, family is important. More important than just some… silly little arguments we ever had, right?”
Gale Force grunted slightly in response, picking up the bottle and taking a deep swallow from it. “I don’t know what you want from me, Warden.”
“I want to know that you love me, Dad,” Warden said, frowning deeply, leaning against the counter. “That isn’t too much to ask, is it? I mean, you don’t have to come out and say it… but it would be nice if you let me know somehow, every now and again.”
Frowning deeply, Gale Force stared at Warden. “What has gotten into you?”
“Kuno,” Warden admitted with a shrug. “What can I say? I’m whipped. Sooner I reconcile with you, the sooner I can get another piece of that sexy changeling.”
Gale Force stared, slowly shaking his head. “Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll… I’ll make an effort. I make no promises. Not that it’ll matter, considering I’m only doing it because you asked me to.”
“I promise, dad, I’ll barely even notice that,” Warden said with a smile and a nod, sketching a salute at the pegasus, before turning and heading back out of the bar, collar jingling happily.
“So…” Threadbare started cautiously, as she peered down at the fabric she was sewing. “Care to tell me… well er, clarify what you meant as to this other foal?”
“Warden had a foal with an earth pony named ‘Green Hoof’. She was his farmhand, for want of a better term,” Kuno explained, picking through various sheets of fabric.
“And…?” Threadbare asked, pricking her ears forwards, looking up from her fabric.
Kuno shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know that either of us have met him, to be honest. Warden only found out about it last night, actually. He had… somewhat of a crisis.”
Threadbare frowned deeply at that, rubbing a hoof through her mane. “Understandable. But… how did it happen?”
Kuno wrinkled her nose, her wings giving a nervous little buzz. “Do you really want to ask that question?”
“I do,” Threadbare stated.
Kuno stared down at her forehooves for a long moment, and then sat down on her rump, pursing her lips. “Well… I left him. For a year.”
“Why did you leave him? You two seem inseparable,” Threadbare pointed out.
“Well… I always told Warden that it was the fact that I didn’t really know what love was at that point. It was always just… sustenance to me. And no pony could ever understand what it is like for a changeling to fall in love with somepony. To put it in terms you could understand, it would be like one of you hoping that your salad would eat you. It’s just bizarre, but it happened!” Kuno nodded earnestly to herself, frowning again, licking her lips anxiously. “But really… That was only half the problem. I had him under a love spell. And for the first time ever, out of all the hundreds of stallions and mares that I’ve put under the same spells… I felt guilty.”
“Guilty?” Threadbare asked, confused.
“Guilty,” Kuno confirmed. “I… I was basically taking his life for my own. I was changing it radically to interpose myself into it. And I just… I wanted him to be happy. Happy and well… normal I guess?” Kuno gave a helpless smile and a shrug. “I don’t really know what I was thinking, to be honest.”
“You were thinking about his happiness,” Threadbare said quietly.
“Yeah, I was,” Kuno admitted, giving a faint smile. “But after being away so long… I felt a kind of… yearning for him. And it wasn’t even all about hunger, either. I decided that the happiest he would ever be is if I was there to keep him happy, so I came back. But in that period of time, he had hooked up with his farmhand. Warden didn’t know it… but she was pregnant. But then the Crystal Empire came back, and Warden, romantic fool that he is, gave up his farm for a displaced family of crystal ponies.”
“Just gave it up?” Threadbare asked, raising a brow curiously.
“They owned it, way back when,” Kuno explained with a wave of a hoof. “Warden originally had them just tending the fields. But… they took all the work for themselves. They literally left nothing for us to do. I don’t know that Warden is so good at sitting still for any reason.”
“He got that from his father,” Threadbare said with a faint smile. “After Gale injured his wing, he went into crisis mode. Started chasing younger mares, acting macho, smoking terrible cigars, disrespecting the trainee Wonderbolts. He even caused some of them to wash out. Even hit me, once,” Threadbare admitted, lifting a hoof to her cheek in remembrance.
Kuno wrinkled her nose, recoiling slightly. “He hit you?”
“He sure did,” Threadbare admitted with a frown. “We were arguing pretty heatedly, and I started insulting him, maybe said one or two things I shouldn’t have, and he hit me.”
“How can you… accept that?” Kuno asked, shaking her head slowly.
“Why wouldn’t I accept that?” Threadbare asked, raising a brow, even as she sewed a new line into a suit.
“Well… he hit you,” Kuno said, shifting uneasily. “Warden hit me a few times that one time, but that was because I’d just removed the love spell from him and the previous two years of his life were a spell-induced lie. That I can understand. But just… hitting you?”
“What is hitting me, even?” Threadbare asked simply, looking up at Kuno. “The basic act of the motion is just physical force. He lifted his hoof, and it hit my face. I know in this day and age that that is usually a deal-breaker. But… Gale isn’t perfect. I accepted that when I decided to marry him, honestly. It was only one hit. And I know, I know, whoever I tell this story to claims I have ‘battered wife syndrome’ or some banal garbage like that. But have you ever seen a pony punch some other pony in the face, and then those two end up best friends afterwards?”
Kuno blinked once, giving a cautious nod.
“That.” Threadbare shrugged her shoulders, stitching another seam idly. “I know what Gale and I have. We have a healthy relationship. And I personally don’t think that all the years we’ve been together should be thrown away because of a few moments where one of us lot control. Plus, it was rather cute to see Gale sobbing like a baby, crawling back to me asking for forgiveness.”
“I hope you held it over his head for a while?” Kuno asked with a faint smile.
“I knocked him unconscious,” Threadbare said shortly, giving a thin smile.
Kuno blinked.
Threadbare shrugged and hummed a happy little tune to herself, checking her next suit for rips.
“So,” Threadbare continued after a few moments of silence. “Did you erm…” She looked up from the suit, giving Kuno an up-and-down glance. “Swarm… was she… you know, hatched from an egg?”
Kuno stared at the mare for several long, long moments, before facehoofing.
Warden stretched out lazily on his old bed. It was just as he remembered it, from all those years ago.
A curt knock at the door made him look up, and he blinked once. Spitfire was standing in the doorway, watching him.
“Er… hi?” Warden asked, ears perking.
“Hi!” Spitfire chirped, smiling warmly. She leaned in a little, looking around the edge of the door and casting her gaze into each corner of the room.
“Looking for someone?” Warden asked.
Spitfire recoiled slightly and shook her head. “Oh no. Just making sure that… erm… you got those goggles!”
“My daughter is quite enjoying them, thanks,” Warden said with a faint smile.
Spitfire bit her bottom lip, looking back and forth. “I was err… in here earlier! And I found a bit. I think it belongs to Kuno, you don’t th-”
“-No.” Warden pursed his lips.
“But it-”
“-No,” Warden repeated flatly.
“Not even-”
“-No.”
Spitfire lowered her head, looking crestfallen, muttering darkly to herself as she turned away and stalked down the hallway.
Several long minutes later, Spitfire returned, prancing slightly and licking her lips, grinning to herself. “Hey Warden.”
“Kuno?” Warden asked blankly, staring at her.
The wonderbolt shivered slightly in place as a flash of green light engulfed her, and then Kuno was stepping towards the bed. “I just… had to do something in the hall,” she said with a naughty giggle.
Warden stared at his wife for several long moments as she licked her fangs innocently. “How is that funny?”
Swarm stirred lazily, eyes fluttering open before she gave a mighty, drawn-out yawn, forehooves reaching forwards and grasping at the mattress and wings giving a slight little flutter.
“I’m hungry,” Swarm stated, rubbing a hoof against her cheek slowly. “What’s for dinner?”
Kuno lifted her head from under Warden’s wing, giving a soft yawn of her own. “I dunno. Your grandmother is cooking something or other. Wouldn’t even let me help.”
Swarm grumbled to herself, rising to her hooves and stretching again, before bounding towards the door and peering outside. “Can I go?”
Kuno looked up, sternly shaking her head. “You may not.”
Swarm gave a faint whine.
Warden stirred finally, giving a slow stretch, arching his forehooves forwards before wincing and shaking his bad hoof slightly. “What’s happening?”
“Your daughter is asking permission to get lost in the maze-like structure of this complex,” Kuno said tersely.
Warden waved his good hoof lazily, not even lifting his head. “Have fun and don’t leave the building.”
“Thanks dad!” Swarm squeaked, bolting out the door before Kuno could level a protest.
Kuno growled, nudging Warden’s chest firmly. “What in tartarus was that?”
“It the Wonderbolt Headquarters,” Warden stated bluntly, lifting his head to peer at his wife. “So long as she doesn’t leave the building, there’ll be a pegasus within screaming distance that can direct her to any other point in the building.”
“But she could… She could get hurt!” Kuno said, brows furrowing deeply.
“She could get hurt, yes,” Warden said levelly. “She could also have a brain aneurism or die of boredom being cooped up. Anyway, I was having a perfectly lovely afternoon nap with an even more lovely dream, which is now interrupted.”
Kuno scowled faintly, before brightening at the mention of the dream. “Ohhh? And what were you dreaming of, hmm?”
“You, covered in honey and needing me to clean it off my tongue,” Warden said immediately.
“What, really?” Kuno gushed, purring and kissing his nose.
“No,” Warden admitted with a faint smirk. “I was actually dreaming of… you know, mushy stuff.”
“Mushy stuff? Who with?” Kuno asked, frowning slightly.
“Well you, obviously,” Warden said with a roll of his eyes.
“So tell me, what were these mushy moments?” Kuno queried, nudging his nose with her own.
“I can’t,” Warden said with a shake of his head. “It’s all mushy and I’d have to punch a wall afterwards to regain my manliness.”
Kuno rolled her eyes at that. “Manliness, you?”
“I can be very manly!” Warden protested.
“You grow vines for a living, Warden. I’ve even heard you sing to them,” Kuno accused.
Warden’s cheeks flushed with warmth. “W-well it helps them to grow!”
“And now you’re blushing, Mr Manly,” Kuno crooned, leaning in to kiss his warmed cheeks with a low purr.
“Well since we’re completely off the subject of my dream, I find it prudent to remind you that Swarm is busy getting lost in the complex. We’re alone…” Warden trailed off suggestively.
Kuno blinked once. “And?”
“Are you seriously not getting this?” Warden asked, exasperated.
“Of course not, silly,” Kuno giggled, leaning in to kiss him heatedly.
Kuno and Warden walked side-by-side down the hallway to one of the private Wonderbolt quarters. It was meant for senior Wonderbolt staff members, and was a fully-equipped suite. A sleeping room, spacious exercise room, and bathroom.
Threadbare was in the process of carrying a covered plate to a table set up in the middle of the exercise area, which seemed to be more of a living room than an exercise room now.
Kuno stepped inside, and immediately dropped her pegasus form to assume her normal changeling guise, her wings giving an irritated buzz. “Ponies should just get over the whole fear of changelings thing,” she complained, as Warden stepped inside and closed the door behind her. “All that wasted energy swapping back and forth between pony and normal me… I could be spending that energy taking over the world!”
Warden rolled his eyes.
Threadbare tutted as she placed the plate down.
“Have you seen Swarm?” Kuno asked anxiously after a moment.
“She’s in the bath,” Threadbare said, motioning with her nose towards one of the doors leading away. “When as she saw the size of the bath, she immediately ‘accidentally’ spilled gravy all over her hooves, forcing her to have to take a bath.”
Kuno rolled her eyes at that. “That’s my Swarm.”
“So… Gale isn’t coming to dinner?” Warden asked, peering about the room.
“He’s off drowning himself in alcohol at the bar still, I assume,” Threadbare said, pursing her lips with distaste.
Warden gave a shrug, and Kuno frowned deeply, rubbing a hoof against her fins. “Well that’s… I thought he’d be coming to dinner.”
“Did you go and see him?” Warden asked bluntly.
Kuno looked up, affecting an innocent expression. “I most certainly did not.”
Warden stared at her, unblinking.
Kuno’s ears splayed back, and she lowered her head under the force of his gaze. “I didn’t!” she protested again, turning away and mumbling, “You did.”
Warden gave a long sigh and then facehoofed slowly and repeatedly. “You didn’t do anything… terribly wrong, did you?”
“Like what?!” Kuno asked, affronted.
“Like something that will cause an entirely awkward moment in the near future?” Warden accused.
Kuno frowned and then shook her head. “I handled it with tact and finesse.”
Warden gave a long sigh. “So... ‘yes’, then.”
Kuno smiled brightly. “Well at least you’re not yelling!”
Warden sighed again, and then leaned in to kiss her nose gently. “I love that you want to help. But you can such a manipulative bitch.”
“Man-ip-u-la-tive bitch,” Swarm repeated from the doorway, her mane sleek and wet from the bath.
Kuno narrowed her eyes at Warden slowly. “You are going to pay for this, Warden.”
“I know,” Warden said with a slightly strained smile, inching away from his wife. “Ahhh… need any help in there mom?”
“You can help me set the table,” Threadbare responded.
“Gotta go!” Warden said, slipping past Kuno and bolting for the kitchen.
Swarm yawned mightily from between Kuno’s pegasus wings, nuzzling down into the soft feathers there.
The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, and they had already been walking for quite a while. They had caught a very early train back to Ponyville so that they would get home in time for Swarm to get to school that morning.
Threadbare had been there to see them off, but Gale had been passed out, sleeping off his hangover.
“I like your mother,” Kuno said, as they walked down the long path towards their cottage. “But your father… well…”
“Yeah, he’s my father,” Warden said with a wrinkled nose. “It’s not like I could choose a good one.”
Kuno nodded, giving a faint sigh, and then entwining the feathers of her wing with Warden’s own. “But at least Swarm got to meet her grandparents. And we have a standing invitation to come back and visit whenever we want.”
“I know, I know,” Warden said, squeezing Kuno’s feathers with his own. “Just Gale isn’t very good at… well, the whole fatherhood thing. I hear he’s pretty good at training the new guys. But that’s about it.”
“He’s also good at drinking,” Kuno said with a faint giggle.
Warden nodded once. “That he is.”
Kuno strode forwards, unlocking the front door of the cottage and pushing her way inside. “Can you put the kettle on?”
Warden nodded to himself, heading for the kitchen to put the kettle on the stove, while Kuno deposited Swarm in her bed to enjoy the hour or so she had before she would have to get up to go to school.
Kuno slid in behind Warden, hugging around his middle with her hooves.
“You know that hugging me from behind is entirely awkward?” Warden asked, his wings fluttering just slightly, brushing against her underside.
Kuno nodded, burying her nose against the base of his neck. “I know. But I enjoy the intimacy and it makes you squirm.”
“Because you’re heavy!” Warden protested, as he placed the kettle on the stove.
“So whatcha got planned for today?” Kuno asked, nudging his neck lightly.
“An afternoon nap, I hope. Probably some eating. Some walking…” Warden trailed off thoughtfully.
“Seriously,” Kuno said, nibbling at the back of his neck slowly.
“Well, I’ve gotta show Green Hoof around the place, get her acclimatised and teach her how to tend to aurora. She should be here soon,” Warden said, frowning slightly.
“It’s not going to be awkward working with her?” Kuno queried.
“Maybe? Probably,” Warden admitted, frowning and biting his bottom lip. “We’ll just have to talk it out, I guess.”
“Well, if you need an excuse to axe her, I can act all jealous and possessive and scare her off,” Kuno offered with a smile.
“Act?” Warden asked with a faint smirk.
Kuno nipped him.
There was a firm knock at the door, and Warden looked up with a blink.
“Green hoof?” Kuno asked.
“Not this early,” Warden said, slipping out from underneath his wife and starting for the door. He opened the door, to find Gale Force standing there with a timing clock around his neck and a water bottle in one hoof.
“C’mon, your new training regime starts today,” Gale Force said bluntly, holding out the water bottle.
“But… what?” Warden asked blankly.
Gale Force waved the water bottle back and forth slightly. “I’m hungover, sleep-deprived, I have a headache and I can feel my heartbeat in my temples, and so help me boy, if you don’t move your sorry ass and get out here…”
Warden’s ears splayed back, and he looked back over his shoulder at his wife, mouthing the words ‘save me’.
Kuno shook her head, pushing on his rump with her forehooves. “You have a training session to get to,” she said with a faint smile.
“I’m going to get you back for this,” Warden stated flatly over his shoulder.
Kuno waved a hoof airily as her husband was dragged out the door. “Don’t mess him up too much, Gale Force, I need him for husbandish things tonight!”
“No promises!” Gale Force shot back.
Warden sighed and shook his head, wondering if he would even have a normal life.
