Meet the Parents

by beatbox9988

First published

Number Crunch is an awkward pony in a big city. He's lived there for quite some time now. After some consideration, he's decided to come back to Equestria, bringing along a special guest...

Being a pony in a big bad city full of big bad scary humans can be a little intimidating, especially for an awkward pony like Number Crunch, but he's determined to make the best of it, to show everyone that he's a big pony now.

But what happens when he's finally coming back to Equestria after all this time? And what will his friends and family think of the special guest that he's planning to bring with him?

Must be a Monday

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I look from the work that I had been doing to the small digital clock on my desk. Its bright green digits telling me that it was only half past two. Huh. It must be a Monday.

Sighing, I leaned back in my chair, putting my forelegs behind my head. This is gonna take hours… I groaned inwardly. It occurred to me that I was probably just being lazy, but after many mind numbing hours of tedious labour, I beg to differ.

I adjusted my position in my chair, leaning over my desk and forcing my mind to focus on all the dumb paperwork on my desk that needed my attention.

It didn't work.

I huffed in frustration, burying my head in my hooves. I need a break... I moaned to myself. Like a week... maybe go back to Equestria... *sigh* I miss home…

"You alright there, Crunch?"

I didn't bother lifting my head, electing not to waste any of my precious energy on such a pointless endeavor. "Leave me alone, Colin." I muttered.

Colin was a fairly tall white man, with a mop of unkept blonde hair and a stubble for a beard. He kept insisting that he was half black but I find it difficult to believe considering he looked pale enough to make small children cry.

"Well okay then mister Grumpy Pants. I'll be at the water cooler if you wanna join." Did I mention that he was a smartass? Because he totally was.

I chuckled slightly despite my sour mood. It was funny because I wasn't wearing any pants. I got up and leaned in my chair again, and, against my better judgement, began spinning around. I guess you can see now how dire my situation is now that I'm reduced to behaving like a five-year old.

I decided to stop when I noticed a few of my co-workers giving me odd looks and I smiled sheepishly, heat rushing to my cheeks. I've been working here for a while now but I guess the sight of a pony spinning around in an office chair was still amusing to them.

I looked back to my work only for a moment and decided that I probably deserved a break anyway. I pushed myself off the chair, feeling my body creak and protest from sitting in an uncomfortable position for too long. I stretched my body, each of my four legs and both my wings until I heard an audible 'pop!' and I hummed in satisfaction.

I trotted to the far corner of the room where the water cooler was and saw Colin leaning against the wall and sipping water from one of the paper cups.

I nodded to him in greeting. I stumbled on to my two hind legs and leaned my two front ones against the water cooler while I stretched and angled my neck awkwardly to try and get myself a cup with my teeth. Damn these human inventions. They’re never pony-friendly. I really, really hope someone wasn't taking a video of this…

I finally managed to get a firm grip, and tugged with a little too much force, sending the paper cup sailing across the room.

I heard chuckling and turned to see Colin struggling to contain his mirth. He had one hand over his mouth while the other was struggling to keep the cup from spilling its contents.

I rolled my eyes. It wasn't that funny.

I decided to wait for him to stop, lest I embarrass myself even further. Colin was a swell guy. He really was. But he could be utterly insufferable at times, like now. I leaned sideways against a wall and crossed my hooves as I watched him with an unamused expression. “You done?” I asked in monotone.

“One moment.” Colin replied between breaths.

I sighed exasperatedly, and let my eyes wander my dreary office space. It wasn’t much to behold. Small cubicles took up the majority of the space, giving employees an ounce of privacy. However, if one were to lean back in their chair just a couple of inches, the illusion of privacy would be shattered.

Most of everyone were hunched over their desk, doing the same monotonous job day in and day out. Sometimes I wondered if I had made the right decision. I know for sure that sitting in an office every day doing paperwork was not my first choice as a dream job.

I look back over to Colin. He was still laughing at me.

“You done yet?” I asked irritably. Okay, now he was getting annoying.

“Y-yes,” he stuttered. “I’m done now.” He then poured a cup and hands it to me which I gratefully accept.

I resumed my position in leaning back against the wall, idly sipping from my cup at a snail’s pace as we watched everyone buzzed around like worker bees in a hive. I swear, if the boss ever find out how much time people wasted just standing around this damn cooler, he’d have thrown it out ages ago.

Good thing he’s too busy snoozing in his office.

“Hottie at two o’clock!” whispered Colin. I turned to the aforementioned direction and spot ‘Rose’.

The heartbreaker.

She had long flowing red hair that went all the way down her mid-section, tan skin, and baby blue eyes. And she has a body of a supermodel! We nicknamed her ‘Rose’ not because of her hair, (although it is part of the reason!) but because of her personality. Her beauty would draw you in, but will end up hurting you because of all the thorns she’s hiding underneath those vibrant petals. Celestia knows how many men she’s led on only to leave them halfway.

We watched her walk past, clipboard in hand, and glasses perched daintily on her nose. Her hips swaying like a pendulum.

Simultaneously, we turned our heads for a gratuitous view of her ass, our eyes shamelessly following the movements of her hips. Thanks to my equine anatomy, I was able to crane my neck a little further than Colin could. I guess that’s another thing you should know about me and Colin. We’re both HUGE perverts. The more you know.

I gave a slow whistle at that. Just because she had thorns doesn’t mean you couldn’t admire it from afar. “Dude, I think I’m in love.” Colin said.

“Easy there tiger. You know she’s dangerous.”

“But that ass though.”

Somehow, I couldn’t come up with an argument. Instead, I tried my best not to picture the mental image that Colin has so graciously given me. Being a pony, I don’t usually wear any clothes. This plain white shirt and tie would be the most I’d wear. I believe that I have mentioned this before, but I’m not wearing any pants. Picturing the child-bearing hips of a female would most certainly be detrimental to my position.

Wouldn’t want to get an erection in public. That would be bad.

You might think that’d be weird for a pony to be attracted to a human. Believe me, I thought so too at first, but as time passed, I realized they both had one thing in common. Their butts.

Their fine wide asses that I could stare at all da-,Okay, I think that’s enough objectifying the fairer sex in my head for the day.

I turned my head to look at the clock on the wall and realized that almost fifteen minutes had passed. Deciding that I should probably get back to work before the boss decides to make a surprise visit from dreamland, I quickly drained my cup and threw it into a nearby bin. I bid Colin farewell and returned to my side of the office. All the while thinking about spiders.

~

I flew through the air, feeling the wind whipping my mane and tail behind me, my wings flapping at a steady pace as it kept me elevated. The sky was painted a lovely red as the sun made its final journey for the day over the horizon. This was arguably my favourite part of the day.

I look down at all the humans (and some ponies) go about their daily lives in fascination. It never fails to amaze me at how busy everyone just seems to be. It’s nothing like back at home.

Thinking about home only made homesick again, and I tried to refocus my thoughts on flying. I think I should request for a vacation soon. I’m feeling really homesick for some reason.

I slowed my pace as I spotted a particular building. It was a very modest apartment that would oftentimes house middle income workers such as myself.

I angled my body upwards and slowed my descent until I was merely hovering before I landed on one of the many identical balconies, though this one had a small blue flag placed on it.

I landed with a thump. I gave my wings a little stretch and ruffled my feathers before I wiped the sweat off my brow. I’m really out of shape... And it was true! Years of neglect has left my body in dire need of shaping up. I’m not exactly fat in any way, just a big softy.

I walked to the sliding door which was already unlocked and slid it open. “Home Sweet Home.”

~

I stared at the mirror, inspecting it closely. I looked over at my grey coat to my dark silver mane and tail (a colourful palette, I know). I stepped back and gave a full body turn, showing off my cutie mark, which was a plus sign over a minus sign, signifying my talent as being good with numbers. Sighing in frustration, I picked up a brush from the sink and tried grooming myself. Sometimes, it really didn’t pay to not have a horn. Life would’ve been much easier with those pointy things.

After a couple of minutes of me trying futilely to groom myself, I threw the brush away, suppressing a scream of pure bloodlust, before deciding to just head to bed. It would’ve gotten messy again anyway. Besides, there’s always tomorrow...

I climbed into bed, the soft sheets feeling like absolute heaven underneath me. It’s no cloud but it’ll do. I crawled underneath the blankets and laid my head on the pillow, ready to embrace dreamland.

*Click*

The soft sound of the door closing reached my ears, making them flick. My eyes snap open in alarm as I listened intently for any sound. My back was facing the door so it was impossible for me to turn around without alerting the intruder.

I shut my eyes, hoping to deceive said intruder into thinking that I was still asleep. I breathed in as steadily as I could, faking soft snoring noises. I hear the light pitter patter of footsteps and resisted the subconscious urge to swivel my ears towards it to hear better. It was getting closer, I was sure of that at least.

After a few moments of faking sleep, I feel the bed creak and protest slightly as it takes in the added weight. I feel the covers shift as the intruder got under it.

Now’s my chance.

In one swift movement, I turned around and wrapped my forelegs around the intruder, gripping tightly and not letting go, despite the half-hearted protests. “Hey, babe.”

“No fair! You tricked me.” Came the playful reply.

“All’s fair in love and war! And besides, I missed you Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth stopped squirming at that, and looked me in the eyes. Those blue eyes. I could get lost in them. She kissed me. It’s not the first time, but I still felt my heart threatened to burst out of my chest. “Sorry Crunchy-Wunchy, I would’ve come back earlier, but work was a killer today.”

I cringed at my pet name, but managed to catch myself before she noticed. I thanked my lucky stars that I had decided to draw the curtains earlier. I smiled sympathetically at her, and hugged her tighter to comfort her, and to let her know that I was there for her.

“Well we’re here now, together, and that’s all that matters.” She giggled at that, the sound coming out of her mouth like wind chimes in a breeze.

“You’re so corny.” She said, but I could practically hear the smile on those beautiful lips of hers.

“And you love it.” Came my reply. She giggled again, before we fell into a peaceful silence, just enjoying each other’s embrace.

Until she felt something poke her down south. “Really, Crunch?”

“Uh… I did say I missed you, didn’t I?” Came my sheepish reply. Pleasepleaseplease-

“Sorry Honey. Not tonight m’kay? And I did say that work was a killer, didn’t I?” She said mischievously, her eyes narrowing slightly.

Ouch.

“Goodnight, Crunch.”

Goodnight, Elizabeth.” With that, we fell into silence once again, with me hugging her from behind, trying to be the big spoon despite the obvious size difference.

I guess you could say that this was another reason why I haven’t just gone back to Equestria. I have a special somepony right here on Earth. Who would’ve thunk it right? A pony and a human. The concept itself is inane and some even say that it’s an atrocity. All I know is that I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

I fell asleep, happy that she’s with me.

Labor Day(?)

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Warning. This chapter contains: clop

~

Despite the curtains being drawn, sunlight had still managed to invade the modest bedroom, its bright vibrant rays directed towards my eyes. Give me a break… I turned to the side in an effort to escape from the sun’s unrelenting assault on my eyelids but my efforts were in vain. Grumbling something about getting heavier curtains, I grabbed the sheets with my hooves and pulled them over my head, enveloping myself in a cocoon of blankets to try and stave off the inevitable.

I gave a smug smile of victory underneath the multiple folds of my makeshift bunker from the outside world. Not today, Sun!

*Beep! Beep!*

The sound of the digital clock went off on my nightstand beside me, assaulting my poor sensitive ears. I sighed in defeat as I pulled the covers off of myself to turn that Celestia damned machine off. Sometimes, I wondered if everything in life was conspiring against me somehow. If I was back in Equestria, I probably would have considered petitioning the great immortal ruler of the sun to raise the giant ball of fire five minutes later.

I turned off the alarm clock, and laid there for some time, sleep still clinging on to me like a cobweb. “Morning, sunshine.”

“Good morning, Elizabeth.” I half mumbled.

I turned to the other side to face my bedmate, nearly bumping her in the process due to the close proximity. What little sunlight that peeked through the curtains reflected off of her tan skin and blonde hair, making her seemingly have an angelic glow, but all I could see were her eyes, two blue pools that I could get lost in for eternity.

Without thinking, I closed the small gap us them, locking our lips for a long passionate kiss. After a few moments, Elizabeth drew back suddenly. “Ew! Gross!”

I blinked in surprise. “What?”

“Morning breath, Crunch.” She said with a smile.

I smiled sheepishly, and rubbed my hooves together awkwardly. It’s not my fault that she looked so kissable! I just couldn’t resist-

My thoughts were cut short as she planted a light kiss on my lips, before pulling back. She smiled at me and I smiled back. “How’s that?” she asked.

“A perfect way to start the day,” I replied before giving a long, suffering sigh. “Time to go to work.”

Elizabeth started giggling at that, placing both of her hands in front of her mouth.

“Why are you laughing?” I asked curiously.

In response to my question, she only started giggling harder, and I was beginning to feel embarrassed. A light pink tint visible on my cheeks.

“What?” I asked again a little louder to make sure she could hear me through her peals of laughter. Why in Tartarus was she laughing so much? Was it something I said?

I huffed in indignation and pouted, crossing my forelegs. Finally, after a length of time that she had deemed appropriate to laugh at my absent mindedness, she said, “It’s Labor Day, knucklehead!”

I looked at the date on my digital clock and to my surprise, confirmed Elizabeth’s claim.

“Yes!” I yelled jubilantly, pumping my hoof in exuberance. I didn’t even know that today was a holiday! Best morning ever!

In my excitement, I had lifted the sheets almost completely off of me, accidentally exposing my lower half and my stiff pony-woah!

Unfortunately for me, I had conveniently forgotten the problem that has plagued all men, or in this case, stallions, since the dawn of time: morning wood.

I laid there, temporarily stunned as I looked at my member which was proudly standing at almost full mast. My ears pinned back and I chuckled in embarrassment. It was definitely not the first time that Elizabeth had seen me, but it was embarrassing to have exposed myself like that accidentally. I feel like a child.

“Need a little help there?” said Elizabeth, scooching a little closer.

I turned to her with an expression not unlike a child who had just been told that he could go to the candy store. Was she really gonna-?!

Without warning, she grabbed my dick with her hand, her dextrous fingers wrapping around my thick cock, and started stroking it sensually, her hand moving down my length slowly, all the way to the base, before moving quickly back up to the head, and used her thumb to gently brush against the tip.

I gave a low groan of delight at that. She leaned her head towards me, and purred in my ear, sending shivers down my spine, my wings threatening to fly open. “Consider this as compensation for last night.”

Best. Morning. Ever.

She pulled back, and moved to position herself in front of me to grant herself better access. I pushed myself up a little on the bed, so that I was leaning against the headboard, giving me a good view.

She got into a cat-like position, being on all fours with her ass sticking up high in the air behind her.

Satisfied, she resumed her ministrations, slowly moving her hand up and down while my member continued to get harder. In a minute, I was already rock hard, my hot, thick member throbbing needily in her grasp.

I gave a small whine, and bucked my hips, urging her to stop teasing me. She smirked playfully at that, but showed no indication of acquiescing to my silent request. She leaned her head down, and breathed heavily on to my twitching member, the warm breath on my cock tickling me.

I clenched my eyes shut as my breathing started to race, and I could feel my heart thumping in my ears. My eyes snapped open, as did my wings as I felt the lingering touch of her lips on the side of my member. I looked down to see Elizabeth slowly planting light kisses all along the length of my member, starting from the base and working her way up, leaving small traces of saliva in her wake, before giving the tip of my dick a heated kiss.

I shuddered again, and let a moan escape my mouth as I experienced the overwhelming sensations. I felt my pre cum pooling at the tip, which was lapped up by an all too eager tongue. “F-fuck…” I muttered out of breath.

She looked up at me and smiled, happy that I was enjoying myself. Suddenly, I felt a pair of warm, wet lips wrap around my member, and yelped in surprise. She smiled cutely around my horsecock, and slowly lowered her head until she had swallowed half of my member, before pulling back and swirling her tongue around my tip.

Her other hand joined in the carnal fun as it came to a rest on my balls, lightly fondling them. She got into a steady rhythm, bobbing her head up and down whilst her hand jerked the other parts of my dick that she could not swallow, and using her own saliva as lubricant.

My quivering hoof instinctively came to a rest atop her head, and my other hoof helped keep stray strands of her hair from obstructing her face.

I moaned again, breathier this time as my eyes rolled to the back of my head, my cheeks flushed with warmth, and my wings starting to ache something fierce.

Sweet Celestia, was she good…

“F-fuck…” I uttered again. “E-Elizabeth, I..*unf*...I’m…*grunt*...getting close!

Elizabeth paused for a brief but agonizing moment, before pushing her head down, swallowing about three quarters of my length and began gagging, her throat holding me in a vice grip as I felt it contract and squeeze around my member to try and expel the intruder.

“FFFfffUCK!” I yelled as I started seeing stars and my vision darkening at the edges. Finally, the dam broke. Thick, hot ropey strands came gushing out from me, filling her mouth up. Elizabeth opened her eyes in panic, as she started swallowing my spunk urgently, lest she be overwhelmed.

After about what felt like an eternity, I finally came down from my high, panting and sweating like I had run a marathon. I laid there for a time, basking in my afterglow.

I opened my eyes to see Elizabeth, smiling daintily at me. She opened her mouth wide and gave me an eyeful of my spunk on her tongue, before closing it again and audibly swallowing it all, slowly. My dick made a valiant effort in standing back up again.

After a while, I noticed how much of a mess I made on her face and hair. Anything that she hadn’t swallowed had apparently decorated her face, and although it did give me a sense of pride for being able to put out so much, I didn’t think that it was very enjoyable for her. I smiled apologetically at that, feeling a little guilty. “Heh… Um… sorry, about..that.” I gestured at the aforementioned area.

She smiled deviously, and leaned her head forward, getting closer and closer and-shit!

I put my hooves up in front of my face to block the incoming attack, but it never came. Hesitantly, I peeked through my defenses to see Elizabeth red in the face, and trying to hold back her laughter. “That’s not funny.”

She then burst into guffaws. “Oh yes it was!” she said in between breaths. I beg to differ. I could’ve sworn I had seen my life flashed before my eyes. “You should have seen the look on your face!”

She then brought up a finger to her face, gathering up a small amount of my sperm, before bringing it closer to my face.

“Gah! No! Quit it!” I yelled indignantly, trying to push her away. She pinned me down on the bed, using her bigger size to her advantage. Elizabeth was laughing the whole time, clearly enjoying my plight, as she brought it steadily closer to my face. Gross!

I finally managed to push her off of me, and she landed on the bed. She finally stops laughing, and brought her sperm coated finger to her mouth, before putting it past her lips, and swirling it around her tongue. She made a face.

“What?” I asked.

“It tastes weird. Huh. Maybe it’s because it’s not warm anymore. What do you think?”

“How would I know?!” I asked incredulously. I’ve never tasted sperm before!

She giggled a little at that, before getting up and sliding off the bed. “I don’t know about you Crunch, but I could go for a shower.”

Did I mention how sexy she looked? She was wearing nothing but boy shorts and a light tank top, and she was asking me to join her in the showers. I did the only thing a sane male would do. I dashed into the bathroom at lightning speed.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes before entering the bathroom herself, and closing the door behind her.

Labor Day Pt 2

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I adjusted the knobs until the temperature of the water was suitable and I hummed in contentment, enjoying the sensations of the warm water running down my back and wings. I extended them a little, making sure to get every feather wet.

My ears gave a little flick, as I heard the bathroom door close with a muted thud, and I turned to see Elizabeth already in the middle of undressing herself. She grabbed the hem of her top before pulling it over herself in one quick motion, exposing her breasts. She then pulled down her panties before unceremoniously tossing her articles of clothing to the side.

My face started heating up again (Gah! Stop it face!) as I continued to stare at her. How does she do this to me every single time?

She stepped into the showers with me, my eyes following her every movement, my grin getting wider and goofier with each stride. She looked at me, and I instinctively turned away, before remembering that I was in a relationship with her, and that it was probably okay for me to gawk at her.

Stupid! Stupid!

I turned to look at her again, admiring her unabashedly. I watched her as she stepped into the showers, the water bouncing off of her skin as it made contact with her body. I watched as rivulets of water slowly travelled down her soft naked skin, my eyes tracing every curve the water made in its destination towards the bathroom floor. Her hair had run down the side of her face, and there was something undeniably sexy about that.

She flipped her hair and gave me a smirk. “Enjoying yourself, Crunch?” she asked innocently.

“Uh-huh.” Came my intelligent response.

She then took her customary place on a stool and sat down while she took the shower head in her hands, and spraying me in the face without warning. “Gah!” I spluttered, turning my face sideways to avoid the watery assault.

She relented after a while, pointing it away from me. “Sit.”
I plopped my ass down immediately like a whipped dog, and sat there obediently as she grabbed one of the many hair products on the side. She squirted some of the substance in her hand, and began the process of lathering up my form.

Her fingers traced over my form deftly, efficiently covering every inch of my body. I chuckled as I felt her fingers through my fur, and blushed as she got reacquainted with more… private areas.

She continued her work for some time, until I was just one giant mass of bubbles. She proceeded to spray me again with the shower head, washing off all of the soapy substance.

I shivered, and shook myself violently on instinct. “Gah!” she exclaimed in a mixture of surprise and annoyance. She gave me a deadpan stare to which I responded with a sheepish smile. Apologetically, I grabbed one of her hair products and offered to do the same to her to which she responded with a soft smile.

I could already tell that her mess of hair could, and would take a lot of effort to get under control, but I didn’t mind. I’ve got all the time in the world for her.

~

We were both laying on the bed, generally being lazy, the thought of doing anything productive was drowned out as I felt the contact and warmth of the person right next to me. I was currently resting my head on her lap, idly batting her hair that draped over one of her shoulders with my hooves.

She had a newspaper on her other lap and held a pencil in her hand which she was chewing on in thought. She was doing one of the crossword puzzles. I never found them appealing, as words weren’t exactly my forte.

We weren’t saying anything to each other, merely enjoying each other’s company. The silence only broken by the sound of our breathing or Elizabeth’s pencil scratching on the newspaper. That and the bustling streets of Manhattan down below that could still be heard despite how high we were in the sky. Still, I couldn’t complain.

“What’s a three letter word for happiness?” she asked suddenly.

I mulled her question over for a moment, tapping my hoof against my chin.

“Sex?”

She groaned at that, and I didn’t even have to look at her face to tell that she was rolling her eyes. “Does your brain have any other setting than ‘horny’?”

I chuckled. “Nope.”

She smiled in amusement, and we lapsed back into another comfortable silence.

“Hey, Elizabeth?” I asked her suddenly.

“Yeah?”

“I was thinking about going back to Equestria…” I said slowly.

She turned to face me suddenly, her hair whipping violently behind her back.

I chuckled inwardly and made the saddest face that I could manage, pouting slightly with my brows furrowed.

“You… you’re leaving…?” she asked with a quivering voice, tears rimming her eyes.

I couldn’t take it anymore, and I let out the tiniest of chuckles. Elizabeth’s eyes widened, then her brow creased in mild anger and annoyance.

“That’s not funny.” She said unamused.

“Sorry.” I replied sheepishly. “But I was serious about going back to Equestria. Not for good, but for a little while…”

“Well-” before Elizabeth could continue her sentence, she was interrupted by the doorbell ringing obnoxiously. We cringed at the sudden noise and my ears folded back instinctively. We both knew who it was and I stared at Elizabeth in despair to which she could only respond with a helpless shrug.

Elizabeth got up, making her way to the door.

Goddamnit I cursed inwardly. And everything was going so well!

~

Pony!" came a high-pitched scream as a small child barreled through the door. I closed my eyes and braced myself for impact as she ran straight into me.

“Oof!”

“Hello, Madeline…” I responded exasperatedly. I looked up from the little ball of energy that was busy trying to fish out a brush from her little backpack to the woman still standing at the door with an apologetic grin on her face.

“And hello, Jennifer.”

“Hi Crunch.” She greeted politely. Jennifer was a young mother and a good friend of Elizabeth. She had short brown hair that was tied up into a ponytail underneath the sunhat that she was wearing. She took off her sunglasses, revealing her sharp brown eyes. “And hello Elizabeth!” she said with more enthusiasm.

She stepped through the threshold and hugged Elizabeth, whom returned the gesture. They stayed like that for a moment, before breaking away, smiles apparent on their faces.

Meanwhile, I was looking on, trying my best not to wince or cry out in pain every time I felt a rough pulling sensation on my mane.

It wasn’t easy.

“So… are you ready?” asked Jennifer.

Ready? Ready for what?

“You bet! Just let me go get changed!”

What’s going on here?!”

“Is someone going to tell me what’s going on?!” I blurted out.

“Oh. We’re going shopping.” Elizabeth replied simply.

“Oh, okay then.”

“And you’re coming along.”

“What?!” I exclaimed. “Why didn’t you say anything about this?!"

“If I did, you wouldn’t have come along. And it’s been ages since we went out together. Come on! It’ll be fun! Just get ready. We’ll be leaving in ten.”

Can this day get any worse?!

Yay! Pony ride!”

Goddamnit…

~

I opened the door and I trudged wearily inside. My muscles were aching something fierce and my bones felt like lead. I've never liked shopping and I don't think I ever will.

Shopping bags were hanging from my feathery appendages. I walked over to the corner of the living room and unceremoniously dropped them on the ground.

There weren't anything fragile in them so I didn't bother being careful. A loud obnoxious snore came from directly behind my ear, reminding me of the little passenger I had on my back.

Carefully, I walked towards the couch, my hooves feel like I'm wading through muddy swamp water, and I gently slid her off my back as she continued to snore.

I turned to Elizabeth and Jennifer, and breathlessly said, "I'm going to hit the showers." Without waiting for an answer, I made my way into the bathroom.

I made my way to the master bedroom where I shared with Elizabeth, and walked straight into the adjoining bathroom.

I was adjusting the temperature of the water for a nice long soak when I realized I had run out of mane shampoo. Inwardly cursing, I turned around, exiting the bathroom.

I had remembered that whilst trailing behind my two tormentors that I had miraculously remembered to buy some more mane shampoo.

I grumbled, resigned to my fate to delay the rest and relaxation that I so rightfully deserved.

"Seriously?!" I heard a sudden shrill voice coming from beyond the door. It was Elizabeth's voice.

Look, I knew eavesdropping was considered wrong and a breach of privacy, but there was something in her voice that gave me pause.

I stood still for a moment, internally debating whether or not I should partake in this questionable act while partially listening to the muffled voices through the door.

"I am!" That's it. I made my decision and tip-hoofed my way to the door, wings extended slightly to help me balance. I figured that listening in for a minute or two wouldn't hurt anyone.

Wearily, I pressed my ear against the door.

"So let me get this straight," came Elizabeth's voice. "You want me to tell you, what it's like to be with a pony?!"

"Yes!"

My heartbeat quickened, and I pressed my ear harder against the door so that I wouldn't miss anything.

"Well..." Elizabeth began.

~

It was a clear and cloudless night and the moon was out in full, its pale light casting an eerie glow on the modest two-story suburban home. Inside, said home sat an odd couple, huddled closely together on a couch watching a cheesy horror film back in the nineties.

Elizabeth shifted her position on the couch, watching with bemusement as the lead actress in the movie screamed her lungs out just before she was viciously gutted. Her eyes would wander to the other occupant in the room, occasionally stealing glances when she thought he wasn’t looking.

Elizabeth was a nervous wreck right now, being with her special someone all alone at her parents’ house for the first time was beginning to gnaw at her and it was getting harder and harder to hide her anxiety.

Her parents had decided to go on a little vacation, and had left her in charge of the house for a couple of days. It was their anniversary and she had insisted that they go out and have fun while she looked after the house. She was independent enough.

She had also thought that it would be a good idea to invite her rather... unique boyfriend over for a movie.
Her boyfriend, or more specifically, coltfriend, was a grey pegasus pony with a dark silver mane and tail. What Elizabeth didn’t know, was that Number Crunch was every bit as nervous as Elizabeth was, if not more. He tried his best to keep his composure, but he could feel his fragile mask slipping.

Number Crunch had a foreleg draped over her, holding her close. He looked from the television, and then to Elizabeth. Their eyes met, and Crunch’s first instinct was to look away, but he held her gaze. They stayed like that for a time, their blood gradually rushing up to their cheeks as they continued to stare into the others’ eyes. Number Crunch inched forward, deciding to take the initiative for once.

Their lips met delicately, a simple peck, and Crunch pulled away, gauging Elizabeth’s reaction. She put up no resistance, and he decided to lean in again, kissing her with more force, their lips meshing slightly as he slowly pushed her down on to the couch so that he was on top of her.
His hooves held firmly around her neck as he pulled away, leaning back to pepper affectionate kisses on her neck. Elizabeth mewled as he kissed her collarbone.

“Wait.” He stopped immediately, concern filling his eyes as he looked at his would-be lover. “Sorry,” she continued. “I’m just… a little nervous right now…”

“It’s okay. If you don’t want to do this then-”

“No.” She cut him off. “I just needed a moment… I-I’m ready now.”

Number Crunch wasted no time, and immediately resumed his ministrations, trailing kisses down her neck, and then moving lower, lifting her blouse so that her midsection was exposed, and he planted a lingering kiss on her navel.
He moved lower still, until his face was level with her short boy shorts. He looked up at her with a questioning look. Hesitantly, Elizabeth nodded, her blush deepening. Number Crunch, who was sporting a blush of his own, smiled a little as he was granted permission, and pulled at her shorts, sliding it off her smooth legs and dropping it to the floor.

Crunch was greeted by the sight of her panties, which were slowly getting wet as her arousal became more apparent.

Crunch leaned his head forward, pushing his equine muzzle right up against where her vagina would be, and inhaled indulgently. Elizabeth gasped into her hand, watching with wide eyes and blushing a shade of crimson.

Crunch looked up, and made eye contact, holding her gaze for a few moments that seemed to last forever, before he leaned back, and grabbed the edges of her panties before sliding them off of her long legs, and tossing it aside, joining the other discarded clothing on the floor.

He was greeted by the sight of her flower, swollen and red from arousal. Her pussy juice slowly trailing down from her cunny and between her ass cheeks.

Elizabeth blushed even harder at the feeling of being completely exposed and laid bare before her boyfriend, but that only seemed to excite her even further.

Crunch’s nose flared as he inhaled her overpowering scent, and his wings extended uncomfortably. His heartbeat started racing, matching the thumping in Elizabeth’s own. Saliva started to pool in his mouth, and he fought to keep from drooling.

Tentatively, he stuck out his coarse tongue, and dragged it up agonizingly slow up against her drooling cunny, swirling it gently around her clit, before flicking his tongue.

Elizabeth fairly jumped, and she bit her lip to keep from crying out, but only barely.

Number Crunch smiled despite his nervousness, happy that he could get a reaction like that out of her. He licked his lips and decided that this wouldn't be the last time he'd go down on her.

He leaned in again, sticking out his tongue and started tracing circles around her lips.

Elizabeth started breathing heavily. Sensing this, Crunch assumed that she must be getting close. He adjusted his position, holding her legs down with his forelegs pressed against her thighs, and wrapped his lips around Elizabeth's second ones.

With that, he began tonguing her in earnest, lapping up her pussy juices like a man who hasn't drank in a week. He used his long pony tongue to reach deep inside her, and wriggled as he could, reaching and touching every surface of her love canal.

Elizabeth's eyes clenched shut and she started moaning so loud that Crunch was afraid that she might wake the neighbors.

Elizabeth's hands slowly found their way to the back of Crunch's head to keep him from pulling back as she was lost in euphoria. She was panting heavily, her chest rising and falling at an erratic pace as lust fueled groans escaped from her mouth.

Number Crunch could barely breath, and when he could, it was the aphrodisiac that was leaking from Elizabeth's vagina. His member had unsheathed long ago, and his engorged shaft pressed uncomfortably against the couch they were laying on. He humped the couch on instinct, his balls swinging heavily.

Elizabeth in the meantime, was teetering on the edge. Her skin was coated with a thin layer of sweat as she dug her fingers into Crunch's mane. Crunch winced slightly, and pressed his head against her entrance and extended his tongue as far as it could go. He continued to wriggle inside her with newfound enthusiasm, and he brushed against her cervix.

That was enough to push Elizabeth over the edge as she came, a healthy amount of her nectar splashed into Crunch's awaiting mouth. Despite the obvious, Number Crunch wasn't fully prepared for Elizabeth's release. He clenched his eyes shut and began gulping down her juices urgently, lest he chokes, the excess dribbling down his chin and soaking his fur.

After what seemed like an eternity, Elizabeth finally came down from her high. She laid on the couch, panting and unmoving, her chest visually rising and falling due to her heavy breathing.

Number Crunch licked his lips between his own labored breathing, savoring the spoils of his hard work. He leaned back on to the opposite end of the couch, unintentionally exposing his now aching stallionhood.

Elizabeth caught sight of his impressive member in her periphery and her eyes widened. She turned her head to fully look at the size of her coltfriend. Despite the hazy state her mind was in, she still felt intimidated by the giant piece of meat before her.

After awhile, Number Crunch got up. He crawled his way to his girlfriend, and Elizabeth suddenly tasted herself on his lips. It was not completely unpleasant, but she'll remember to pay him back for this.

The kiss was sloppy, their tongues dancing together messily. They parted, and multiple strands of saliva and other substances connected their mouths.

Suddenly, Elizabeth felt something flat and warm press up against her entrance. She looked down at the intimidating size of horse cock that she was about to deal with, its flat head leaking pre cum from the tip.

This was by no means her first time having sex, by this was the first time she was going to have sex with a pony. She had heard about the rumors. The one pertaining to their size and girth, but looking at one face to face was making her anxious. That thing is going to tear me apart!

Elizabeth quivered slightly underneath Number Crunch. Number Crunch noticed this and paused, looking to meet Elizabeth's eyes. He smiled reassuringly, as if sensing Elizabeth's discomfort. "I'll be gentle," he whispered into her ear, his hot breath tickling her. "I promise." He said as he ever so slowly began sliding in.

Elizabeth clenched her eyes shut as she felt him entering her, her body desperately trying to accommodate his wide girth. She grit her teeth as she felt him stretching her completely. She brought her arms around Number's back, holding on tight and her legs wrapped around his mid section in a vice grip.

Time seemed to slow as she felt her lover slowly travel up into her. He was inside her. The friction created while he pushed inside her were making her nerves go crazy.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, she felt it hilt inside her, pressing right up against her cervix. The bulbous tip leaking a small amount of pre cum making her gasp.

"See?" Came a breathless Crunch. "No problem."

Elizabeth couldn't describe it. She had never felt so full before. She could feel each and every veiny throb of the giant dick inside of her.

Suddenly, Elizabeth felt a pulling sensation as Number Crunch slowly pulled himself out, and she was assaulted by the feeling of being empty, and she desperately wanted it to go away. Her insides clamped down onto Crunch’s retracting member, desperately trying to pull it back in. The combination of Number Crunch’s wide girth and her tight pussy made pulling out of her an incredibly laborious task for Number Crunch.

“Um… Elizabeth? Could you please relax a little?” Elizabeth blushed even harder at his words, but did as she was told. She closed her eyes and took slow, deep breaths to calm herself, and Number Crunch was able to pull out all the way but leaving only the tip in.

Slowly, Number Crunch began pushing back in again, but with a little more force. A mixture of pain and pleasure entered Elizabeth’s mind as he made the return trip into her core. Tears rimmed her eyes but she dared not to interrupt him.

Number Crunch began picking up the pace, his member somehow sinking deeper and deeper into her entrance. Wet slapping sounds could be heard as Number Crunch successfully bottomed into Elizabeth, his balls and hips smacking lewdly into Elizabeth’s skin.

They were both covered in sweat due to the intensive rutting they were doing. The air around them stank of the heavy, musky, primal scent of sex, and it was driving them wild. They weren’t making love anymore, they were having sex.

All pretense of being gentle had long been pushed to the back of Number Crunch’s head as he mindlessly rutted Elizabeth into the couch like an animal. Elizabeth moaned into Number Crunch’s ear, encouraging him to go faster. Her skin rippled from her nether regions, travelling all the way up to the rest of her body, making her jiggle slightly every time Number Crunch drove his penis home into Elizabeth’s wet vagina.

Number Crunch’s fur was matted due to the exertion. His muscles were on fire, but he couldn’t stop even if he tried. He felt Elizabeth’s grip on his mane tighten and he looked up. Dull grey eyes met blue vibrant ones.

Right then and there, he knew he wanted to wake up to them, to those wonderful blue eyes, every morning for the rest of his life. Time seemed to have no meaning as he found himself leaning his head in, and giving her the most tender of kisses.

He hilted one more time, making Elizabeth break the kiss in ecstasy as she came, her vaginal walls milking Number Crunch’s dick for all its worth. With a grunt, he came. Hot sticky strands of his seed came gushing out of his member in urgent spurts, filling up Elizabeth’s womb. Her face was locked in a silent scream as she experienced the most intense orgasm of her life. Her whole body felt like she was on fire.

It seemed to never end. Spurt after spurt of Number Crunch’s hot load kept pouring into her, until it started leaking out betwixt their connecting organs.

Number Crunch’s hind legs wobbled, and gave way. He collapsed onto Elizabeth. “I love you.” He muttered.

“I love you too.” Was the last thing he heard before sleep overtook him.

~

“Wow…” was all Jennifer could say. It was pretty funny seeing the usually talkative person rendered utterly speechless. Her face was as red as a tomato and her mouth was locked in a silent ‘o’.

I was currently peeking through a crack of the doorway. During their conversation, they had failed to notice me opening the door ever so slightly, so I was able to see what they were doing.

“Mmm-hm,” hummed Elizabeth. “I was pretty nervous at first, but after that, I wanted to do it all the time.”

“Wow...just...wow.” Said Jennifer. “So...um, how big was it again?”

I saw Elizabeth put both her hands up in front of her face, and slowly drawing them apart.

Jennifer’s jaw dropped. It isn’t that big. I felt like Elizabeth exaggerated a little bit but the compliment stroked my pride nonetheless.

“Do you think, I could, y’know…?” Jennifer trailed off suggestively. At this, Elizabeth’s face turned red and a gasp of disbelief escaped her lips.

Meanwhile, I gasped as well, but for very, very different reasons. My unsheathed dick gave a small twitch. What? You expected me to not get a boner?

No!” Came Elizabeth’s instant reply.

Jennifer slumped a little, but recovered quickly. “Well, does he have a brother?”

“Well...come to think of it..”

I may have forgotten to mention, but Jennifer was a single mother. She and her ex-husband had a nasty break up. She doesn’t like bringing it up.

“Well…,” Elizabeth began.

“Yes…?”

“Huh. You know what? I actually don’t know.” Said Elizabeth.

“You don’t know whether your boyfriend has a brother or not?!” Exclaimed an incredulous Jennifer.

“Coltfriend.”

“Whatever!”

“Well he never brought it up. So what?”

“So what? You don’t even know who he’s related to! How about his roots! How much do you really know about him?!”

Elizabeth paused at that, mulling over Jennifer’s words.

This was bad.

“Tell you what. You should totally go back to his homeworld or something. Then he’ll be able to introduce you to his family! Besides, visiting a new world sounds like a pretty fucking cool idea.”

“Jennifer!”

“What? Madeline’s asleep.”

Elizabeth huffed indignantly. Despite that, I could see that she was seriously considering Jennifer’s words.

This was really bad.

“You know what? Number Crunch did mention that he was going back to Equestria…”

I awaited her answer with bated breath. Seconds stretched out into forever as sweat began to bead on my forehead.

“I’ll do it,” Elizabeth proclaimed. ”I’m going to Equestria with my coltfriend.”

Shit.