The Bold, The Brash, and The Beautiful

by Razalon The Lizardman

Day 1- Part 1

Sleeping in a hotel was quite an unusual experience for Applejack. Sure, she was familiar with sleeping in stuff other than her own bed back home, but there was something about hotels that set this apart from all of AJ's previous experiences. Since she couldn't pinpoint exactly the feeling was, she dismissed the thought altogether and performed her typical early morning routine: get up, stretch, shower, and lastly put on her stetson. Once she was done, she left her hotel room and walked down the central hallway toward the outside where she and Prickly Pear agreed to meet before going to breakfast together.

Upon coming outside, Applejack took the opportunity to observe her surroundings. Having visited Dodge Junction before, Applejack could see that the resort's designers put a lot of effort into accurately depicting the look and feel of the old timey town and its accompanying settlements. Looking down the street both ways she spotted the sheriff's office/jail, saloon, post office, and other things she knew existed in Dodge Junction; all constructed to look exactly like their authentic counterparts. Even though Applejack had visited various Dodge settlements before, she had never truly gotten the chance to live like one would about a century ago when the area was first being settled. With this vacation, however, she could do just that.

"Like the sights, huh?"

Startled, Applejack turned to see Prickly staring out over the mock town as well.

"Sweet Celestia, Prickly! You're gonna give me a heart attack if'n ya keep that up."

Prickly just chuckled in response. "C'mon, let's go have breakfast."

They made their way next door to the hotel's dining room. Like everywhere else in Dodgeworld, it was designed to look like it came straight out of the past. Applejack counted 7 other guests eating when they entered and sat at the bar. The bartender came up to them shortly afterwards.

"What'll it be you two?"

"Ummm, I'll have some warm milk and eggs," Applejack responded.

The bartender just stared at her blankly, eliciting a confused expression from Applejack.

"Just get us two ciders and hay fries," Prickly said, then gestured to Applejack with his head. "She's new in town."

"Very well," the bartender stated, then left to pull together their orders.

"What was that all about?" AJ asked Prickly.

Prickly looked at her with a slight smirk and leaned forward, resting his front hooves onto the counter. "Remember that I'm the expert on fitting in around here, and if'n ya wanna do just that then heed my advice. For all intents and purposes, we're livin' in the early days of Dodge Junction right now. And in those early days they didn't serve eggs n' warm milk for breakfast."

Applejack listened to his words with interest and pondered them in her head before the bartender returned with their fries and ciders. Looking over the food, Applejack noticed the hay fries weren't deep-fried like she was used to; rather, they were steamed. Looking into her cider drink next, she actually found it to be very similar in appearance and texture to her family's homemade cider. This made Applejack realize just how old-fashioned her family's methods were. Not that she was complaining, or going to do anything about it, of course.

Shrugging her shoulders, Applejack took hold of her cider and was about to take a swig from it when a bump from behind caused her to spill some over the front of her body. "Oh for the love of hay," she whined as she turned to look at who bumped into her.

What she saw contrasted from what she expected. Instead of a cockney-ed, smug little jerk she gazed upon a stallion whose entire body seemed to be polished to a shine. He had a pure brown coat with a black mane and wore a white stetson atop his head. What really puzzled AJ was the stallion's Cutie Mark; D-S-01.

"Say uh, Prickly," AJ said as she pointed towards the unusual stallion, "what's up with his cutie mark?"

Prickly looked around AJ toward the stallion. Applejack couldn't see it, but Prickly's smile turned into a scowl at the sight of him.

"That's one of the resort's robots; more specifically one of the villains."

Applejack turned back to him. "Villains?"

Prickly looked her in the eyes. "Each world has a robot programmed to act as a villain so any guests feelin' up to it can be the hero and take 'em down. Not everypony in the past was righteous Applejack; there were outlaws every now and then, which makes them a necessary attraction to this resort. Now, Ah'm no robotics expert or nothin, but I'd imagine his Cutie Mark is some kinda production or model number or somethin'. It helps too, since otherwise-"

"Sloppy with your drink?"

Prickly and AJ briefly looked over at the robot stallion as he turned his head back to his own cider glass and took a gulp of it.

"Why that little varmit, thinkin' he can push me around and accuse me of being sloppy with my cider that I only spilled because he bumped me. I swear, I'm gonna give him-"

Prickly placed a hoof on AJ's shoulder. "In a minute AJ, let me finish talking."

Giving the robot a scowl of her own, AJ turned back to face Prickly.

"Anyway, like I was sayin'- it helps too, since otherwise it'd be darn near impossible tellin' robots from real ponyfolk. That's how good them technicians are with this stuff."

"You said he was this world's villain," Applejack said. "What's he called?"

"Jack O'Bones," Prickly answered. "All ya really need ta know 'bout him is that he's programmed to believe he owns this town. Just give 'im a good buck to the face and you'll put 'im outta commission for the rest of today."

Applejack smiled at the thought of payback and turned to walk over to Jack O'Bones. He was finishing his cider when Applejack tapped him on the shoulder. He slowly turned his head to face her, never once blinking or changing his expression.

"Now lookie here," Applejack told him, "Ah don't take too kindly ta anypony, even robotic ones, treatin' me like Ah'm a bucking bag. Now y'all best apologize fer makin' me spill my drink if'n ya wanna leave this room intact."

Jack O'Bones didn't respond for several moments to which AJ figured his circuits and stuff were processing everything she told him. When he did, he said it with no emotion, programmed or otherwise.

"Make me."

"All right, you asked for it."

AJ turned around and positioned her hind legs accordingly. Jack O'Bones' evasive protocol couldn't initiate in time as AJ kicked straight upwards into his metallic face. The sound of smashed titanium filled the room as onlookers watched with expressions varying from shock to smug as Jack O'Bones was launched into the nearest wall where he then fell to the floor in a crumpled heap, an indentation vaguely resembling him now present on the wall above him.

Applejack did nothing but take deep breaths for a while after finishing her deed. To her it felt so good to relieve her frustration with him directly onto him and not being held back by anypony. It was something her family said to her throughout her whole foalhood: frustration taken out on a perceived enemy only makes them frustrated in turn, to which they then take out on you in return in a continuous cycle. With these DELOS robots, however, such a cycle would never happen; they had no emotions, no free will, and only what little knowledge they were programmed with to function properly and accordingly. It was one of the many appeals of the DELOS resort, and Applejack found it very appealing.

"Wow," Prickly said from behind Applejack. "You pulverized him."

AJ turned around and smirked. "Years of applebuckin'," she proudly stated, flexing her hind legs.

By the time a couple of unicorn technicians had arrived to cart off the smashed robot for its daily check-up, Applejack and Prickly Pear had finished their breakfast and were heading out the door to explore Dodgeworld and see what kinds of fun they could have in it.

---

With each section of the DELOS resort being based on different places throughout Equestria's history, it's only natural that they'd have their own unique activities for guests to participate in. No effort was put in to make each world's entertainment value equal with one another as that wasn't the point. Each world was designed to stay true to the overall atmosphere of the place and time period it was themed after, so it's to be expected that each one would have a different assortment and quantity of activities to provide entertainment. To this end, Rainbow Dash had made a smart decision in choosing Aviworld for her stay, not just because she was a Pegasus, but also because her need for speed gelled perfectly with the lifestyle Ancient Pegasopolians had.

Currently, the cyan pegasus was strolling around the Cloudosseum that made up the bulk of Aviworld, looking for something where she could show off her top-tier speed. About halfway around the walkway from her room she spotted a line of ponies waiting to get through a door leading toward the central airyard where aerial jousts were held. Upon seeing this, Dash realized this was the line to get into said jousts.

Perfect, she thought, now I can show everypony my stuff.

With that she jumped into the line and, with forced patience, began waiting for her chance to joust.

-----

Sleep protocol initiated . . . Sleep protocol cancelled.

Scanning for opponent . . . opponent determined.

Joust mode initiated.

Aviation . . . online.

Lock-on . . . online.

Weapon . . . on standby.

Initiate taunt protocol.

Selecting random taunt . . . taunt selected.

Initiate taunt: "Abandon hope all ye who challenge me."

Awaiting response . . . response received.

Received response: Please go easy on me, okay?

Awaiting joust command . . . command received.

Received command: Let the joust . . . BEGIN!!!

Scanning for intent clarification . . . intent deemed positive.

Approval to joust: Granted

---

Being next in line to joust, Rainbow had a perfect view to the match before her; all seven seconds of it. Rainbow couldn't help but bawl over in laughter as the guest, a timid mare with a violet coat, black mane, and a clarinet cutie mark was blown away with one strike from the robot pony's lance. She didn't even have time to use her wings as she sailed through the goalpost on her side of the jousting field, thereby losing the match to the robot.

"Next up!" the referee shouted.

Happy that her turn had finally come, Rainbow Dash flew down into the dugout next to the jousting field and quickly changed into the protective armor she was required to wear. Brandishing her lance, she emerged from the dugout fully confident of her victory. She flew into position and took a moment to get a good look around the field. Behind the robot about twenty meters was its goalpost; Dash's being about the same distance behind her. Knowing she needed to get the robot through its goalpost to win, Rainbow took a moment to meditate and focus every last bit of energy she had into her wings. Once she was ready she brandished her lance to indicate to the robot she was an opponent.

"Prepare to meet your maker," the robot said. It's artificial mocking tone was quite impressive.

"I know my parents well enough," Rainbow replied, making no attempt to cover up her brash tone of voice.

Seeing both jousters were ready, the referee shouted, "Let the joust . . . BEGIN!!!"

Positioning her lance as best she could at level with her opponent's armored chest, Rainbow shot forward with a mighty burst of speed in an attempt at a 1-Hit KO. The robot shot forward about half a second after Dash did, aiming its lance right at Rainbow's own armored chest. It didn't connect though, and the robot was struck by the full charge of Dash's lance and, subsequently, pushed back several meters toward the goalpost.

Just when Rainbow Dash believed she had won, however, the robot acquired a strength boost seemingly from nowhere and began successfully pushing Dash backwards toward the opposite goalpost. Abandoning her previous 1-Hit KO strategy, Dash flew backwards and up away from the robot. It immediately did the same, however, and leveled with her before charging itself. Dash dodged just in the nick of time as the robot missed a blow that surely would've cost her the joust had she been less careful.

As Rainbow contemplated her next move, she saw several guests were watching the match from the walkway going around the field. Seeing all their awed/curious stares in her direction helped serve as a reminder for Dash as to why she was here; to show everypony her awesomeness. If she was going to succeed in that, however, she would need to think up a quick strategy for beating her robotic opponent that didn't rely so much on pure strength, as it had been made clear the robot had the upper hoof in that regard.

Dash was interrupted from her thoughts by her robotic adversary making another charge at her from behind. She quickly flew down out of his reach and proceeded to shove her lance upwards into its chest. The lance connected with a metallic clang and the robot was pushed upwards a few centimeters. It didn't matter, however, for as soon as it recovered from the blow the robot swooped around and took yet another shot at Dash from the opposite direction of her goal. Using her incredible speed once again, Dash dodged out of the way of the strike.

Speed is all I really have over this thing, she thought to herself, but that's not gonna win me this joust on its own. Wait a minute . . .

Dash grinned.

. . . this hunk of junk is toast.

The robot's programming could've never prepared it for what Dash did next. Using every last bit of strength in her wings, Rainbow began circling around her opponent in a dizzying display of prismatic colors that left its lock on mechanic utterly useless. Left with no protocol to follow for its current situation, the robot went into neutral mode. Dash took the opportunity given and quickly flew out from the circular pattern to deal a critical blow to the robot that sent it back several meters toward its goalpost. Before the robot could launch an attack in return, however, Dash zoomed forward and dealt another blow to it; this time in its light-armored head. The force of this blow pushed the robot back another few meters as well as deal it some cranial damage. Just like before the robot was kept from attacking by yet another speed strike from its cyan opponent.

Rainbow Dash kept at this pattern of speed strikes for what seemed like hours but was really only a few minutes, until she managed to deliver the final blow that sent it flying through the goalpost. Dash smiled as she watched the robot crash into the goalpost's back wall and fall to the cloud ground in defeat. Dash had discovered the secret to defeating the robot jouster, one that very few guests had managed to figure out. The average pegasus, or any pony for that matter, doesn't have the continuous strength to push back such a cyborg opponent. Instead, Dash had relied on quick and powerful attacks that would gradually push back the robot toward the goalpost where she then dealt the finishing blow with the last of her strength. This method of joust had but one drawback, however; had Rainbow Dash failed to deliver an attack before the robot could resume its joust mode it would've evaded her attack and broken the cycle, which would've forced the cyan pegasus to start it over.

All Rainbow Dash could think about at the moment, however, was that she had won. She looked up at the walkway to see the jaws had dropped on everypony who'd been watching and some began stomping their hooves in excitement as she looked up at them.

"Brave Heart is defeated!!!" the referee shouted. "The new joust champion of Aviworld is . . ."

"Rainbow Dash," she stated.

"The lovely Miss Rainbow Dash!"

Everypony watching started applauding her, to which Rainbow Dash had but one thought in her head.

Best vacation ever!!!

Comments

[Slate the Pegasus]

I like it good chapter my friend

[Razalon The Lizardman]

2473478

[Slate the Pegasus]

2473636yay yay yay ya yay

[Ardashir]

And so we've met pony!Yul Brynner. Now we just have to see what Rarity's first day is like.

[Razalon The Lizardman]

2474621 I actually haven't seen Westworld, if you can believe it. All of what's parodied of it in this fic is based off little bits I've seen online, so expect things to be structured very differently from the actual movie. Rest assured though that I don't plan on having anypony die in this fic.

[Ardashir]

2474648 Ahh, nice of you to let us know that no pony deaths are to be expected, but as a writer you might have wanted to leave us guessing to help ramp up the suspense.

Heh, I'd thought idly of my own MLP take on Ponyville - but the ponies would have been the robots there. And when things start to go wrong, the characters stop acting like the ones we know from the show and start acting like they do in, say, Cupcakes or Rainbow Factory or the like.

[Razalon The Lizardman]

2474667 Oh, in that case.