When the souls of three deceased humans are guided towards new life and second chances in Equestria, they unwittingly fulfill a prophecy over a millennium old, and set in motion a series of cataclysmic events that will leave the Solar Empire shattered and Equestria in tatters. Only by confronting their pasts and banding together with friends both new and old can they find the hope that will allow Equestria to survive. But nothing can prevent the tragedies to come...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I really like this, keep writing, but also find someone to go through and proofread this, as, while there are few grammar mistakes that can be avoided here, you do have a problem with breaking flow.
Ok, once again I really enjoy this story, but there are some word choices that just snap me out of any immersion I had in this story.
"This needed to come to an end. But this issue still paled in comparison with the greatest of Queen Cahrysalis’s worries: a counterattack by the Royal Army."
I, like many others, read dynamically so the wrong punctuation will throw me for a loop; because I read the next part in a different tone and cadence. This passage ^ should be rewritten as:
This issue needed to come to an end, but it still paled in comparison with the greatest of Queen Chrysalis' worries; a counterattack by the Royal Army.
Also, saying in that second sentence "this issue" sounded to much like the previous sentences' "This".
Therefore, I replaced it here with "it" and moved issue to right after "This" in the first part of the sentence. all over, 4/5
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
3347136 No, I haven't. Now that you mention it though, I'll definitely have to consider it. Also, thanks a ton for reading the story, and for leaving a comment.
It's always nice to get a feel for what my readers might be thinking.
3345075 Thank you for pointing that out. I go back and correct typos on previous chapters when I get the chance, and I even have a few friends helping out by acting as proofreaders, but stuff still gets through every now and then. Thank you for pointing out the mistake though; I'll fix it up right now.
3440794 Not all stories have happy beginnings. It might not have a happy middle, or even a happy ending either. But... Sometimes that's a good thing. Without the darkness, it's impossible to truly appreciate the light.
I can not remember where, but at some point I shuddered. Loving the story Jam—*cough*—Silverdawn97
3544746 Well, that's good to hear. I've been working hard on the next chapter, but it's going to take a while to get ready... The darn thing's going to be around 10k words, if not more, so I need to make sure I get it right before I post it for you guys.
Two huge notes that are making me not want to read this: PARAGRAPHS! Separate the big walls of texts into general paragraphs for ideas. Seriously, paragraphs should not be larger than can fit on one screen of my monitor. A chapter needing me to scroll down, no problem. A paragraph requiring me to scroll down, means that something is up with that paragraph and that size better be damned well required.
2nd, paragraphs for new speakers. Whenever the person that's speaking changes, you start a new paragraph to signify this. It's annoying to reread dialogue and have to puzzle out who's saying what because you don't separate them.
I'm not going to down vote this but until the story is reorganized, it's not easily readable. Anything that takes me away from just reading your story, weakens my focus on your story and the story ultimately. If you do go back and do this, contact me and I'll give it another read. Until then, I'll probably read something else from my large collection of "to reads" in both real books and other fiction.
I'm well aware of this issue. I write up the original drafts of each chapter in Microsoft Word, then copy and paste the finished product into the FIMFiction format. I try to adjust the text back into its original format, but I haven't found any ways to fix the issue without individually indenting each paragraph using spaces, as for whatever reason, FIMFiction refuses to allow me to use the tab key to indent. Now that you mention it though, I suppose I'll go give it another look right now, just in case. If I can find a better solution, I will peruse it immediately.
Well, after about five minutes of experimentation, I found an obvious solution. Sorry! Anyways, imma go back right now and fix this so it isn't a nuisance anymore.
This is officially one of my favorite stories.
So sorry about the lack of updates over the summer everyone. Things have been very complicated in my personal life recently, and I just haven't been able to get into the proper mindset to write anything new for a while. The good news is that things are starting to settle down somewhat, and I have already begun serious work on the next chapter of "But Not Forgotten", which shall be titled "An Era Come and Gone". It will delve deeply into the background of numerous characters such as Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadence, as well as moving the story forward for Tartanis, Melody, and even Silver. Also, as the end of Part Two draws to a close, many shocking story developments will occur, so I would like to remind you all that this story does not follow canon. This story began in the timeframe of shortly after the end of Season Three of MLP, and it will stay that way. I have already been "adjusting" the canon slightly in order to both fit the story more thematically, as well as to make it more interesting to me, and hopefully to you, the reader, as well. If you do not like the way I have handled this matter, please do not downvote my story because of it. Also, by the end of the story, there will not even be the slightest possibility of it fitting into the Season Four canon, so if it will make it easier for you to deal with that fact, please think of this story as a "split in the path" as far as events and timelines go. With that said, I hope you have all enjoyed the story thus far, and look forward to the chapters to come.
If Silver Dawn, Tartarnis, and Melody were voiced, what would they sound like? Or did I already ask this?
4932840 No, you haven't asked that before. It's a good question, and honestly I don't know how to answer it. The problem is that all three of them are based off of some very important people from my life, and I find hard to actually describe their voices using the written word. If I thought I could come up with a good description for how they sounded, I would certainly give it to you. Unfortunately, I honestly can't think of a good way to describe their voices and do them justice. Sorry.
Well guys, I have some bad news. For the time being, I'm pulling the plug on "But Not Forgotten". I enjoyed writing the story, and it was definitely a learning experience, but I just feel like I need to at the very least re-evaluate the central basis of the story. It's evolved a lot from my initial idea for what it would be, mostly because of one character in particular deciding to sort of "take the reins", so to speak. While I initially wanted this story to be a plain and simple love story, it turned into much more thanks to my good friend Faust (the character, not the person). Never before have I had a character become their own person, especially to the degree that Faust did. Hell, she basically hijacked my own story and started writing it herself. Anyways, I will likely return to this story someday, but that will be far in the future, after I've figured out exactly what it is that keeps bugging me about it. I might re-write the whole thing and only keep a few core concepts and characters. I might rewrite it as a non-pony story. I don't know. I get the feeling Faust will be the one to tell me that. But for the time being, this story is going to be on an indefinite hiatus. I'm sorry it has to be that way, but that's how it is. Either way, I hope you've all enjoyed the ride thus far, and maybe in the future you might take a look at some of my future stories. Until then, I wish you all good fortunes.
5550192 Will you make a blog post telling us when this story will be updated again?
5955183 Yeah, as soon as I start updating again, I'll be sure to let it be known. i'm thinking I might post several chapters in a row when I am able to update, if only to make up for the delays.